Feo Takahari
Auror
Found on a Livejournal called Bad RPers Suck, this was an ad for a game where everybody played as wolves:
The petite enchantress slinks out from behind the thicket which surrounds the outskirts of her land; frame bending, coiling and curving between the trees and foliage. As she comes closer you get a better look of her visage; an agathokakological beam plastered upon it, showing her 42 crimson stained ivories, her tympanums perked bolt upright, those radiating luminaires which seem to be sparkling golden with hints of caramel in hue pierce right through you. Next you direct your attention at her bodice, trying to read her body language; Is she here to kill you? Or simply curious? The alluring vixetta glides closer to where you are standing; her scapula move in sequence of each other, her powerful fulcrums bare scars along with the rest of her body, she is small yet you know she is not to be underestimated… Summus Tergum slants and curves as she perambulates even nearer, all with sheer elegance in her stride you prepare for your doom…Then she Parts her mandible from her maxilla, her salmon-hued ribbon beginning to vibrate as she starts to speak, her voice shocks you, it is not deep and cold like you expected, its like sing-song, sweet, gentle and warming with a risky edge.- ‘’Well, well, well.. You seem to have stumbled into our territory…’’ -Suddenly there is a low noise, it feels like the ground is shaking beneth your peds, it was a growl... You gaze around confused, only to find there are hundreds of pairs of occuli upon you.. The growling continues until the charcoal lupine before flicks her fifth appendage, in such a swift movement that it slices through the air, everyone falls silence the instant she does so.. The Alphess’ voice turns even more edgey as she speaks her last few words.- ‘’You better have a good reason for being here…. Or else we’ll savage you and feed you to our pups…’’ –Suddenly she turns cheery, before speaking once more.- If you do have an acceptable reason we will have no problems…’’ –A smirk beholds her features as she waits for a reply.-
What's the purplest prose you've ever read? Can you out-purple this?
The petite enchantress slinks out from behind the thicket which surrounds the outskirts of her land; frame bending, coiling and curving between the trees and foliage. As she comes closer you get a better look of her visage; an agathokakological beam plastered upon it, showing her 42 crimson stained ivories, her tympanums perked bolt upright, those radiating luminaires which seem to be sparkling golden with hints of caramel in hue pierce right through you. Next you direct your attention at her bodice, trying to read her body language; Is she here to kill you? Or simply curious? The alluring vixetta glides closer to where you are standing; her scapula move in sequence of each other, her powerful fulcrums bare scars along with the rest of her body, she is small yet you know she is not to be underestimated… Summus Tergum slants and curves as she perambulates even nearer, all with sheer elegance in her stride you prepare for your doom…Then she Parts her mandible from her maxilla, her salmon-hued ribbon beginning to vibrate as she starts to speak, her voice shocks you, it is not deep and cold like you expected, its like sing-song, sweet, gentle and warming with a risky edge.- ‘’Well, well, well.. You seem to have stumbled into our territory…’’ -Suddenly there is a low noise, it feels like the ground is shaking beneth your peds, it was a growl... You gaze around confused, only to find there are hundreds of pairs of occuli upon you.. The growling continues until the charcoal lupine before flicks her fifth appendage, in such a swift movement that it slices through the air, everyone falls silence the instant she does so.. The Alphess’ voice turns even more edgey as she speaks her last few words.- ‘’You better have a good reason for being here…. Or else we’ll savage you and feed you to our pups…’’ –Suddenly she turns cheery, before speaking once more.- If you do have an acceptable reason we will have no problems…’’ –A smirk beholds her features as she waits for a reply.-
What's the purplest prose you've ever read? Can you out-purple this?
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