Rules for Cats

[Justme]

Who here are Cat lovers


BATHROOMS: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.

DOORS: Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get the door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.

CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a human's bare foot.

HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some activity, and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping," otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for hampering:

1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
2. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book -- unless you can lie across the book itself.
3. When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen, and then lay in human's lap across arms, hampering typing in progress.

WALKING: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

BEDTIME: Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.

LITTER BOX: When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.

HIDING: Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses, and you probably will get a treat.

ONE LAST THOUGHT: Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around, and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often. And don't forget the guests.

[Sheilawisz]

Hello Justme, this was great fun!! I am deeply in love and fascination about cats, and I have a common grey tabby cat called Jerry that you can see as my avatar picture =)

What's the name of your cat? Cats are like the best pets in the world!!!

[Justme]

I don't have one. I'm a cat lover that drives a truck over the road. My company won't allow me any pets in the truck and I don't have the time to really care and play with any pet. I'd probably be fired withing weeks of getting a cat. I'd have to get a kitten and it would have to be a people cat.

I used to have a black cat I named Black Velvet, for the pint of Whiskey she tipped over, when I first got her. She was the smartest pet I've ever had. She was both loving and a fighter, that could hold her own with anyone that played with her. She was the only animal I'd ever had that would retrieve items thrown for her. I braided several bread ties together and used that for her toy.

[Aidan of the tavern]

Oh god, I love cats. Luckily me and Felix have a really good rapport, he's about 7 years old now.

[Ireth]

I love cats! I used to have three, but they're all deceased now. I miss them.

[Sheilawisz]

I am so sorry to hear that, Ireth!! =(

The first cat that we had in my family was a male black cat, he was wonderful... he stole our hearts and we love cats since then, but sadly he died some years ago from some form of infection and I was crying for many days.

A few months after that, one day my dad came home with a grey tabby kitten and I called it Jerry, you can see him in my avatar picture =)

Why don't you adopt a kitten to give him a good and happy life??

[Aidan of the tavern]

He's one cool animal, always friendly to me when he's sulking at other people. Everyone says dogs are more intelligent than cats, but cats have the willpower to not be trained, and to co-exist with humans.

[Justme]

I wonder just what makes cat lovers, cat lovers. Is it the craziness of that lifeform or is it the independent streak that all cats have over dogs?

[Kit]

I am owned by three currently. Two of them are diabetic.

[Aidan of the tavern]

I wonder just what makes cat lovers, cat lovers. Is it the craziness of that lifeform or is it the independent streak that all cats have over dogs?

For me its partly the independance and partly the personality. The're just so content with who they are and live life by their own terms.