Are we the individuals we wish ourselves to be. Do we allow our successes to devour us or condemn ourselves because of our failures?
I have, and probably always will be a compassionate person. I have helped out those who I didn't even know, but nowhere near the degree that I have with those I'm comfortable around. I have many times volunteered aid even before I was asked, which has lead me to very uncomfortable situations. I've spread myself out too thin and had to retract offers, when my income didn't rise to the occasion.
I'm not saying this to promote myself or some cause but to explain where I came up with the idea for this thread. I am always taking inventory on myself, seeing if I had reached the goals I had sought earlier. I have almost always never reached the mark set and I have little explanation other than, this is me.
I was wondering how many others have taken similar soul journeys and what they think could be issues with us. Are we a prisoner of deep seated Fear. Are we afraid to alter our course through life, if it seems we are not where we should be? Are we worried that others are depending on us and If we changed course in our lives, we would be seen as weak or irresponsible? Are we so afraid to loose than we refrain from trying to change?
I've become aware that this has become my ID, my identity, my standard bearer, my own brand of honor. It has become so much of my personality, that I have actually contemplated ending myself when my own stupidity has jeopardized my career. I did this not because I would have to cgange jobs but because I feared being incapable of care taking for those I had grown accustomed to.
Has anyone here ever become so much of one thing, that they would fear becoming someone of less stature, according to our own rigid standards. Standards that no one else has placed on us or even understands. Do we die inside, when we don't measure up to our own standards, or do we step back. See what works, and what doesn't and accentuate the positive things in our lives, while continuing to work on the negatives, to make them less negative.
In a nutshell. Are we trapped inside a inflexible vision of ourselves that would rather brake than bend?