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  1. Beginnings: Blood Price

    This is the first of these I'm selling instead of giving away for free, as I'm finally confident it's worth something. The publisher's blurb was a bit sub-par, so I thought I'd promote it my own way: showing how it starts, and seeing if it hooks anyone.

    -- -- -- --

    Bob kept telling himself that it could be worse. After all, his niece of sixteen years (who was also his ward of six, and his perpetual worry of three months) could have decided to join a cult. She could ...

    Updated 8-3-14 at 9:06 PM by Feo Takahari

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  2. Chapter 1 Scene 4 (reviosn) The House on Berry Bay.

    1811


    “Who did this boy? The woman demanded in Senegalese as she poured water over the young boy’s broken, bleeding skin.
    The child hesitated, “John.” The boy replied, wincing as the older woman began to spread a salve over his back. She gritted her teeth as she worked, she could see the child’s struggle as he tried to hold back the tears that stung his eyes. The women started to chant softly waving her hands around wildly, the rhythmic ritualistic words calmed ...

    Updated 7-7-14 at 11:23 PM by The Blue Lotus

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  3. The House on Berry Bay Street Ch1 S3 (revision)

    Again I have revised this scene, I was not at all happy with the previous version so I did not even bother to post it. Trust me it was THAT bad!

    Anyhow, ignoring the obvious things such as Grammar and punctuation, which I cleaned up as much as I am capable of, thoughts?

    1999
    Baton Rouge, Louisiana


    Emily slid into the passenger seat of Dean’s Dodge neon. The little four door had survived the storms of the previous year, but was a bit worse for ...

    Updated 7-7-14 at 7:40 PM by The Blue Lotus

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  4. Revision(2) "The House on Berry Bay Street"

    Ok, so here is the deal. I'm posting the various revisions of my prologue because A- I like to see where I started compared to where I ended, but B- I hope that it helps someone else.
    I don't bother editing these for picky things like punctuation, it's not good enough yet to warrant that kind of time.
    I hope you enjoy!
    I do welcome thoughts, opinions, etc. Just ignore the grammar and punctuation for the moment.

    I redid the first scene the night before last, and ...
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  5. The House on Berry Bay Street. Revision.

    1999


    “Oh my God Dean! This place is so pretty!” Emily exclaimed as she spread the blanket out over the grass.
    “I thought you’d like it.” He flashed her a seductive grin as he stripped off his white tee shirt, flexing as many muscles as he could in the process before he sat down beside her. ...

    Updated 6-6-14 at 3:15 AM by The Blue Lotus

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