HELP! How can I make this less Tevinter-y?

[Mindfire]

I'm not sure how many people here are familiar with the Dragon Age games and the rich lore behind them. But as I was worldbuilding the other day, I noticed that one of the new nations I'm building has a history very similar to that of the Tevinter Imperium, one of the big players in Dragon Age's history and politics. How similar? Well this nation (which I have not yet named) is the only remaining vestige of a once great and powerful empire that dominated the entire known world until their arrogance and penchant for dark magic brought about divine punishment and said world's near destruction at the hands of terrible dragons. After the catastrophe the empire lost control of all its former lands and territories and is now a shadow of its former self, but retains great skill and power with magic, bestowing upon them a sinister reputation.

So basically almost identical. I SWEAR I DID NOT DO THIS ON PURPOSE. I wasn't even thinking of Tevinter or Dragon Age when it happened. Everything grew organically out of backstory elements that I planted before I had even played Dragon Age: Origins for the first time, much less learned about the lore. The "mankind's arrogance brought doom upon us" thing and the dragons were already there. It's just that before I was going to make the empire responsible a dead civilization. So when I was looking for a good place to squeeze a new nation into my geopolitical scene it made perfect sense to have them be the last remaining shred of that culture. So... yeah. The Tevinter similarities only dawned on me today. I've decided to base this nation on Hatian Creole culture and give them French-sounding names- perhaps with additional influences from Algeria and Ethiopia- to get it as far away from Tevinter's Roman/Byzantine feel as possible. But is this enough to distance the two? I'm looking for opinions and suggestions.

Oh! And my nation has vast underground cities that they built to hide from the dragons. Another difference from Tevinter.

 

[X Equestris]

The theme of human pride bringing ruin is an ancient one. I wouldn't worry about that part.

I feel like there's enough distance that you're fine. Plenty of fantasy, and other, settings have remnants of earlier civilizations as important parts of the world.

 

[skip.knox]

Personally I wouldn't worry about it. You are concerned about a tiny group of people -- who have played DA *and* who remember enough details to note similarities *and* who would be put off by that.

 

[Russ]

Never heard of Tevinter. Would not warp your story much at all to avoid similarities.

 

[wordwalker]

The theme of human pride bringing ruin is an ancient one. I wouldn't worry about that part.

I feel like there's enough distance that you're fine. Plenty of fantasy, and other, settings have remnants of earlier civilizations as important parts of the world.

Completely agree here; pride and fatal experiments and/or divine retribution happen all the time. Consider Frankenstein (on a small scale), or the Tower of Babel on a larger one, just to take a couple of examples. Dragonlance had a kingdom that "brought down a cataclysm" for its kingpriest's pride, and...

For that matter, any story that involves "lost artifacts" from more powerful civilizations is playing into this; magical accidents and divine wrath are about the only explanations for any of those lands collapsing, along with war among themselves. The only difference between the "Tevinter model" and any of those is that some of the empire is still around--which makes more sense than wiping it out anyway.

I'd say you're fine.

 

[Caged Maiden]

You know what sucked really bad? When I first played Skyrim and didn't know what it was about and then I was talkign about my book Dragon's Blood and someone told me it was similar to Skyrim. I mean, I was playing the game and didn't see how freaking similar it was. And I wrote the story in 2009, before Skyrim. Another sucky day was when I watched Borgias on Netflix and pretty much threw up in my mouth because Written in Red (after slaving away on it since 2011) could literally have happened in the series it was so similar in feel, characters and tone.

My point is that it's all kinda similar. And you know what? that's a good thing. If it was really out there, it probably means it's unrealistic, unbelievable, or implausible. Which isn't good story-telling. If you see similarities, it's okay. If it feels identical, have some people who have played Dragon Age read the work. I mean, if it's literally just the back story, I don't think you have anything to worry about. At all. I found out someone published a book in 2013 called Written in Red. I'm keeping my title from 2011 too! The only things that are dangerous if they're "too similar" are really unique things. If you have an orphan boy who goes to magic school and encounters all sorts of magical bedlam while trying to overcome his weak skills, you're probably alright. If said boy has a lightning bolt scar and is destined to defeat Lord Evilmage and save the world...maybe rethink the character a touch. It's small details that make a book unique and I think your ideas to use Haitian culture is a good one (I'm a fan of lesser-used cultures for inspiration) and the mere similarity of the magic elements isn't enough to cause red flags to pop up.

You know...I've recently contemplated how video games are no longer riding on Yoshi and eating many-colored berries whilst avoiding turtles and carnivorous plants. Some of the games (yes, I'm playing Dragon Age: Inquisition now) are more like novels. I want to make WiR a video game. It could be like Assassin's Creed (I'm playing Black Flag right now and it's super fun to have naval battles). Anyways, best wishes. Can't wait to see the new stuff!

 

[Mindfire]

Thanks for all the reassurances, everybody. And a special thanks to Caged Maiden! It's been too long. We should catch up. And yeah I'm currently in the middle of juggling Dragon Age: Inquisition and all the Assassin's Creed games I missed after my first Xbox had its meltdown. Lol. Haven't gotten to Black Flag yet.

 

[Caged Maiden]

I played II first and LOVED it, but when I bought III, after the opening sequence, it said, "Now that you have Ezio's skills and Altair's knowledge..." and I hadn't played I so I quit III and bought I!

But my Xbox just froze (yeah, it's the original one) and now I have I, II (I never finished), III, and Brotherhood.... and I WANT TO PLAY THEM ALL!!!

I'm going to buy another Xbox even though we have the PS4. My husband thinks I'm silly but I liked all my old games and I didn't get to play them all. I have a whole list of games on a shelf waiting for me to get a chance to play them!

Honestly, I'm not loving Dragon Age. It doesn't have the open world of Skyrim and I am really limited as a rogue (because I play like a tank). My stupid backstabs are wimpy and my skills for stealth don't work in a world where stealing isn't my primary goal (I was a huge hoarder in Skyrim...maybe the reason my game froze since I had about ten houses fully loaded with herbs, animal parts and weapons I couldn't bear to part with...) Anyways, have fun gaming and don't forget to write. I should take my own advice, but maybe in reverse. I need to write less and game more.

 

[Mindfire]

I'm in pretty much the same boat as you. I have a PS4, but I replaced my xbox for the same reason. It's not silly, it's practical. I also started with Assassin's Creed 2, which I 100%-ed. I never went back to the first one though. Right now I'm playing Brotherhood. After I finish that, it's on to Revelations. Then ACIII, then Black Flag. Then I may go after Rogue and Unity. I'm sorry you're having a rough time with Inquisition. But I have to say that if your rogue is doing wimpy damage you are doing something very wrong. My rogue companions have crazy DPS, especially Cole with his stabby-stabby assassin specialization, though Sera's no slouch either. They routinely dish out more damage than my mage inquisitor does. Maybe you haven't unlocked the right skills yet? How far along are you? As for the world not being open, it feels plenty open to me. It may not be one continuous world, but all of the different areas are huge and I haven't even visited them all yet. And there's always tons to do between missions, side-quests, and dragon-hunting. It's not completely open-world for sure, but I'd say its halfway between Skyrim and the much smaller previous games. If you're feeling too boxed in, try visiting a new area. Each feels unique in its own way. Anyway, best of luck in gaming and writing! Also, now that I'm finally settling into that sweet writing groove again, I'd like to call on you for a question or too, if you don't mind. Happy hunting!

 

[Asura Levi]

Well, if you haven't mentioned DA I would hardly think about it. Even though I just finished Inquisition.

I would surely see some parallels while reading your book but nothing to worry. I believe this kind of background to have happened a given number of times before and to have actual real life equivalences.

Sorry, I'm in kind of a rush right now, so my answer is not much constructive, the bottom line is: I wouldn't mind.

 

[wordwalker]

Caged, I know what you mean about DA not giving rogues their full options. In Skyrim I could focus on picking pockets and opening locks, or again and again I'd creep up behind someone to one-shot them with a backstab (when you can do that to a mammoth you've got a pretty good assassin, ). Dragon Age doesn't see itself as a completely open experience; you aren't supposed to travel alone or bypass as many fights, and everything comes down to open battle DPS rather than one-shotting. Still, I've had fun letting Cole stealth up to enemies (or Shadowcloak the whole team into position unseen) and drop half of them with sleep powder before everyone goes to work.

Dragon Age, like a lot of games, says "You're going to adventure, you just choose your tactics." Skyrim says "Here's our world, we don't care what you do in it."