Insults

[Gryphos]

I love insults, especially creative ones. And when writing a fantasy story you have so much opportunity to come up with new ones, be it a commonly used phrase in your world or a signature one of a specific character. So what kind of insults have you guys come up with?

Some of mine:

Wank-canvas
Pretty self-explanatory, it's a canvas that's been ranked onto in order to create a piece of obscene art. I came up with this using the tried and true method of putting together any two words so long as one of them is vaguely rude. Other examples include dragon-twat and mediocre shit-sculptor (it's funny because it implies they're not even a good sculptor of shit).

"You're worse than Eldridge Wetnyrse"
I'm undecided at the moment if Eldridge Wetnyrse is a real person in my world or just a fictional character. All I know is that if you need to say that someone he acts as the ultimate standard for badness or incompetence of any kind. For example, one could also say "You're a worse dancer than Eldridge Wetnyrse" or "You're more cowardly than Eldridge Wetnyrse", etc.

Twunt
I didn't come up with this, but I feel that it is a magnificent word. By combining two rude words, you end up with not only a word that embodies their combined meaning, but is also completely innocuous and innocent. I've even started using it in real life, it's so good.

 

[Laurence]

Are there any fantastical beasts in your story?

What a load of Szireshit.
The guy's got the attention span of a Helg.
Your nipples look like two dying Tryats.

 

[Bruce McKnight]

My favorite was:

"What should I do?"
"Just stand there looking like a big stupid ogre... perfect!"

 

[Jay_Ehm]

Calling someone Scroff-Toothed or just comparing someone to any aspect of a Scroff's appearance in general is basically calling them ugly. Scroffs are camelids that basically replace and fill in the role of horses in the kingdom where most of my story takes place. If you've seen a camel's or a llama's teeth, you'll know that most people wouldn't want to be compared to that. Scroffs basically take the funniest-looking and most awkward parts of camelids and mix them all into one animal. Another example could be "She kissed like a Scroff!"

Calling someone from the Kingdom of Fyrherte a Fish-Rotter is an insult that connects to Fyrherti cuisine, which is often stereotyped as consisting of mostly fish and eels cooked in the most stomach-churning ways possible. It's really just one dish that consists of aged lampreys and hagfish boiled in a sauce made from their own slime that set the whole stereotype off, but foreigners blew that out of proportion and began to make jokes about how nasty fish was all that people from Fyrherte ate.

I may post a few more if I think of any others.

 

[BWFoster78]

I had fun writing this one:

Xan stared into her beautiful green eyes. “Do I look familiar to you?”

Ashley studied him. “Were you a servant at the castle? You’re no good with horses, so not a stablehand. Did you clean chamber pots?”