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No Adjectives Too?

Philip Overby

Staff
Article Team
OK, so I've heard people who are anti-adverb and I guess I understand that to an extent. I've since softened my stance against them myself. However, I saw this post that has also included adjectives in this discussion. It's not saying don't use adjectives, it's just saying maybe you shouldn't use so many?

Do you find yourself using lots of adjectives? Do you feel like it strengthens your writing or bogs it down at times?

Kill the Big, Fat, Ugly Modifier! - Helping Writers Become Authors

*Note: This is not intended to be rules vs. no rules argument.
 

Graylorne

Archmage
I'm not against adjectives or adverbs. To me, they're like kitchen herbs; you use them to give taste to what you're cooking.
And just as with herbs, you use a pinch here and there, not a spoonful.
 

Ankari

Hero Breaker
Moderator
Do you find yourself using lots of adjectives? Do you feel like it strengthens your writing or bogs it down at times?

Most of my first draft writing contains too many adjectives. It's a product of my limited writing window, and my inability to just write. Every subsequent revision cleans up most of the clutter, as well as harmonize the pacing and story itself.
 
I believe in two rules.

1): If you're going to apply more than three adjectives to one individual thing in a single sentence, that sentence should serve no other purpose than to describe the noun.

2): If you're going to apply more than three adjectives to one individual thing in a single paragraph, that paragraph should only reference that thing, things that closely interact with it, and how your POV character feels about that thing.

It's worth noting that devoting an entire paragraph to description, in the manner described in 1), has been out of style for decades. Even using more than three adjectives for one individual thing is only popular in sex scenes these days. Still, I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with either, and books that do them can still hold up as solid literature.

P.S. Because I'm a showoff, I'll post a bit I wrote that followed rule 1.

The first thing he noticed was the mouth, warped and shrunken to a narrow slit. No words of love could ever be pronounced by such a mouth--and as the pale, hairless creature before him clutched at its scarred throat, he realized that it could not speak at all. Eyes he remembered as blue were now sewn shut with black threads, but a third eye stared down from its forehead, red as fresh blood.

It shuddered again, and he realized that it was trying to cry.

Note that the action goes in a new paragraph--the first paragraph is all about description.
 
Good rules of thumb. Most writing "rules" are about deciding what's most important right now, and those do a lot to define your focus.

(For the record, I think everything that's said about adverbs applies to adjectives too, but less strictly. The nouns they modify have more room to slow down, and often more need to be specific, than verbs and their adverbs.)

One more rule I've used for years: if you're going to apply three adjectives right in a row, it needs to be a deliberate "overload" moment, or else you've lost control of your writing. "Big, fat, ugly" strings like that reach a real critical mass at three.
 

AnneL

Closed Account
I try to use adjectives sparingly and make sure I really need to actually describe what I'm talking about. Otherwise I like to get my details in with nouns and verbs (often verbs used as adjectives, such as "polished table" or "shriveled apple"). I read Ian Tregillis's *Something More Than Night* recently, and he was trying to be Raymond Chandler, but Chandler did it so much more cleanly, even though Chandler uses a lot of descriptive words. I almost gave up on the Tregillis book because of adjective bloat. I also find that I have to be really careful in sentence variety when I add adjectives; I'll do 3 sentences in a row of about the same length and structure if I don't watch out.

I just looked at a fairly typical paragraph for me, and I have 5 adjectives out of 69 words. *Revises paragraph.* Now it's down to 60, with a repeated phrase changed, an unnecessary noun deleted, and an unnecessary sentence cut. "River water" got changed to "river," so "river" is no longer functioning as an adjective. The 4 that remain are all simple: "orange," "cold," "fresh," "strong." I think using Latinate or multisyllabic adjectives adds more clutter than using one syllable Anglo-Saxon based words.
 

BWFoster78

Myth Weaver
How about instead of telling authors not to use this or that, we say, "Think about every word." Is it needed? Is there a better word that can be used? Is it showing the reader something important? Is the word expressing a new concept or repeating one you've beat to death? Is it increasing tension or lowering it? What about pace?

Ultimately, the thrust of all the conversations we've had about adverbs, which it seems to me should also apply to adjectives, isn't, "Don't ever use these." Instead, it's, "Can you do it better?"

Maybe "think about every word" would be a less confusing/controversial way of expressing this sentiment?
 
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skip.knox

toujours gai, archie
Moderator
My favorite counter-example is James Jones, "From Here to Eternity". He used adverbs frequently, to the point it becomes comic or at least ironic. The book won all sorts of praise, but it violates all kinds of supposed rules.

My rule of thumb: use more than your thumbs.
 

Ireth

Myth Weaver
They all do.

Any day now I expect to see an article saying we should do away with nouns and verbs. Keep tightening that writing until all we have left is a blank page.

What about articles? Can't forget articles. XD
 

Philip Overby

Staff
Article Team

That cracked me up.

To be fair, I was actually a bit confused by the blog post at first, but now I sort of get it. I do think the less controversial approach would be to say, "Be careful with overdoing modifiers" the same way that could be said, "Beware using the same verbs over and over again." I don't think the point is "don't do it" it's just, be careful when you do it.

An example:

"Rhonda's long, wavy red hair cascaded down the back of her frilly white dress. Her emerald green eyes sparkled in the cold, dark night as she looked toward Donald, his coif of slicked back, coal black hair wobbling on his head precariously."

vs.

"Rhonda grinned and pointed at Donald's wobbling hair. 'And I thought my hair was hard to manage.'"

The first example doesn't really tell us anything about the character other than that she has red hair and sparkling eyes, while the second one tells us that Rhonda isn't afraid to say what she feels like and finds men that spend a lot of time on her hair silly. The second example gives a brief bit of characterization while the first one attempts to paint a picture only with words. While people could argue which one is better (or neither of them is good), the modifiers in the first example feel empty. The use of "wobbling" in the second example gives just as clear of an image.
 

kayd_mon

Sage
I read advice on "how to be an author" online, and they always say things like, "Don't use_____ and you'll be a real writer!" Then, I'll go read a book off a bestseller list, and notice that the writer took none of that advice. So, the grain of salt applies here, I think.
 

T.Allen.Smith

Staff
Moderator
Articles like this do hit on an important aspect of effective writing...that nouns and verbs should perform most of the heavy lifting.

Does that mean you shouldn't use adjectives or adverbs? Of course not, but you should examine how you're using them and why. Ask yourself if your modifier adds meaning to your sentence. Sometimes they do, yet often they are vague, wasted words. Ask yourself if your use of a modifier is lazy writing. Sometimes that's exactly what they are, but not always.

Writers should make conscious choices regarding the words they use, with a mind toward the most effective way to communicate an
idea or event.
 
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