• Welcome to the Fantasy Writing Forums. Register Now to join us!

The Dystopian Comedy

Mectojic

Minstrel
Ok, I have a very complex yet simple idea in mind - dystopian comedy, like you've (hopefully) never seen before.
I feel like this is a - just read on for yourself.

This is a post-modern style of novel. Its plot is focused on one character over the space of billions of years. The chapters are not always sequential - some chapters are 5 words long, others are 20 pages.
There is no direct 'plot' in some means. The story begins with the beginning, yes, and it progresses from there. However, the story is sometimes 1st person from the main character, omnicient 3rd, etc... about 1/3 of the book is actually historical archives which have been recorded by either humans or machines.

So what is this "Dystopian Comedy"?
The closest I could think of it as is a video game. Its title is "Suicide Scape".

Basic synopsis, now you have the form and medium in mind:
In the 1800s, a guy called Eval (yes, I'm not hiding it) had a plan to take over the world. His main means was through a particular means of propaganda. He had a simple phrase: "I don't trust you."
With this simple powerful phrase, and the help of magic, he was able to turn people against each other, to kill each other. He found this very amusing.

Eval went much further with it. State by state, country by country, he turned everyone to start having this psyche. So that people could be glorified for their kills, he hired thousands of record-keepers, who would track the kills of each individual.

Eval then realised the potential of this system, but unfortunately the world population was rapidly declining. So Eval developed what is known as "The Invincible Trio". These were 3 pieces of incredible technology, which could not be destroyed by any means, except Eval's command.
We are now jumping forwards a couple centuries.
The 3 invicible items were:
• Record Towers - as people became impractical. Think of this place as a "leaderboard", where people could store their high scores.
• Breeding Towers - these made randomly cloned humans. Some spawned as weak engineers, others were barbarians who could run at 100 km/h. The point was, randomisation.
• Missile Turrets - now this is where things need further explanation.

This system, created by Eval, became intergalactic, while Eval turned Earth into his own computer lab, where he comically sits all day watching people die around the universe in a chamber of screens, using nothing but a joystick to scroll through all the different battles taking place.

Missile Turrets are invented to be tracking, extremely fast missiles which kill anyone who has killed someone else. These were implemented so that no one could ever get too many kills and live. In other words, it made getting a high-score extremely difficult, because within 5 seconds of killing someone, you were killed.

So through my form, some of this comes from Eval's perspective, others from the last humans, or the cloned humans. Other parts are just my description of what is happening. Most of the story follows the achievements of dozens of individuals over millions of years - because every once in a while, the breeding tower spawns an extremely strong "barbarian". Some of the best barbarians learnt how to ride the missiles, and manage to gain additional kills that way. Some genius scientists learnt how to outspeed the missiles in spaceships.

Now WHY is it called Suicide Scape?
Because of the one thing that Eval's power could never resolve in his missile's AI. The rule goes as follows - when you declare someone else as your enemy, you are implying you will kill them. As an enemy, the "enemy" is obliged to kill you back. Here's the trick: if you claim someone is your enemy, then stab yourself, the missile will believe the enemy did it, and kill them. Then it counts as YOUR kill; you quickly remove the knife, and the missile doesn't realise you aren't dead.
The best of people were able to repeat this multiple times, and in essence, it was the way to get the highest score. Although coming in close second were the scientists who slowly set up galactic bombs throughout the universe, and then detonated them.

Would any of you enjoy this crazy book? It is hardly to be taken seriously, at any stage. I just like the idea of a novel which doesn't follow a regular narrative, or regular conventions.

Some final notes:
• Eval's only weakness is milk. Thousands of people try to fly into his base with the near-extinct 'milk' that once came from Earth, and try to kill him with it.
• There is another universe, made up of 1 technologically advanced universe. When Eval becomes intergalactic, he is contacted by them. Just hearing their voice makes him nearly die. They warn him not to annoy them.
At the end of the book, Eval annoys them - so an archon from the other universe simply enters Eval's universe, and everything is immediately destroyed.
• I don't trust you.
 
I think it would be hard to be taken seriously if not written in a way that entertains the reader. Take my favorite musician Devin Townsend for example. He wrote a concept album about an alien named Ziltoid who comes to earth in search of the ultimate cup of coffee. After tasting earth' s coffee and finding it disgusting he declares war on the earth and the planet must be saved by Captain Spectacular. He also made another album about a man finding the meaning of the universe and infinite understanding in the form of a double cheeseburger but didn't eat it because he's a "vegimatarian"

Now these things are quite silly but his amazing guitar skills and his incredible production is very professional. He put real talent into his work and uses complex scales and tunings that make a fantastic record that goes hand in hand with the silly lyrics. That's why i love him so much, because even though he had a farfetched idea you could tell he put talent into his work, and i believe that's the same way you should approach yours. Make your ideas crazy but for every level of weird in your tale you need to use that much more professionalism to make your story appealing.

And i am writing a book that spans thousands of years and reads more like a poetic narrative history book rather than just focusing on the pov of one or a few characters. I select key characters who are pivotal throughout history and sometimes i am in the pov of a whole nation, following its triumphs and struggles yet not focusing on the pov on any one in particular. It's a weird balancing act but the shift in povs (i feel) let me move the reader with the plot in the exact way i want them to go. Therefore it is crucial you have a strong plot to reinforce it. You really need to plan ahead and think about how things affect and interact with each other especially when your story has a long span.

Also, i would not recommend making chapters that absurdly short. I personally would find it hard to take you seriously, even considering the book you're trying to write.
 
Each chapter should be entertaining to read. You're going out of the normal narrative, which is a great thing in my opinion, and when stories do that then they sometimes can be tedious on the reader. If it's tedious, no one will find it funny. So make sure that every inch of it is entertaining and funny but also engaging.

With what you've posted, I would read it. It sounds like it could potentially be hilarious.
 
Hi,

How does Eval sit comically on the throne? Is this like the Minister of Silly Walks sketch but with sitting?

There's a logical problem too, at least for me. If I don't like you then why the hell am I going to kill you knowing that five seconds later a missile is going to come down out of the sky and cream me? I don't care how much I dislike you - I want to live!

Cheers, Greg.
 

Legendary Sidekick

The HAM'ster
Moderator
Well, I wouldn't read the book because you gave away the ending.

That said, I like that you're trying to do something different, and I won't criticize the idea. A good idea executed poorly is crap. Any idea, no matter how bizarre (like aliens scouring the Earth for coffee, then declaring war because Earth-coffee sucks), can be done well and it's genius. Your story would definitely need to be uproariously funny for readers to not mind that everyone in the universe dies and that, from the sound of it, there isn't really a hero to give any ray of hope that the madness will end.

I'm not a dystopian lit fan, but my (limited) understanding of works like Hunger Games and Divergent is that the MC gives readers/viewers hope that she and a few other good people will put an end to the neo-dark age*.



*If that's not a term, it should be.

  • I trust me.
 

Mectojic

Minstrel
Hi,

How does Eval sit comically on the throne? Is this like the Minister of Silly Walks sketch but with sitting?

There's a logical problem too, at least for me. If I don't like you then why the hell am I going to kill you knowing that five seconds later a missile is going to come down out of the sky and cream me? I don't care how much I dislike you - I want to live!

Cheers, Greg.

Ah yes.
• 'Comically' because he is literally controlling the fate of the universe on a joystick. He sits in a good ol' rusty 80s spinning chair, monitoring all the computer screens, which are above, below and all around him.
• The reason 'I don't trust you' works it because it is (a) meant to be ridiculous, (b) Eval has 'magic', and (c) later on, the cloned humans have no free will. This is why they actively want to kill others. Diversity comes through the randomly created clones that have more self-conscience. Without a doubt, I will address some rare groups of pacifist clones (this machine creates ANY kind of person) - some pacifist groups are those trying to give Eval milk.

Oh and Legendary Sidekick, Sorry! But don't worry, this is very long-term. Who knows what will change in the process?
 

Heliotrope

Staff
Article Team
I'm intrigued. I love dystopian lit with a weird flair. I also love a good dark comedy… I think this could be interesting.

Some things I like about the idea:
- I like the idea of "I don't trust you." I am interested on where you could go with that. It is sort of 1984 (Big brother is watching, and 2+2=5 type stuff… so if you haven't read 1984 I suggest you have a look at it. Might give you some ideas on how to work your propaganda.)
- The breeding towers and randomization (that is perhaps not randomized)… I would look at Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. Some interesting stuff about using genetics to breed specific types of people used for specific parts of society.

Some stuff I wonder…

How do children fit into this world? Do people have children? Are people massacring children? Or has everyone been sterilized, and only the breeding towers create fully formed adult humans?

What does Eval have to lose? Is he just insane? Or does he have a purpose to his madness? I will use the Lego Movie as an example of a comedy about an Evil character who wants to take over the world… President Business likes order. He can't stand the disorder that comes from play and imagination and so he plans to glue everything together and keep it all permanent. He believes that this will actually bring peace, happiness and order to the world… So what is Eval's purpose?

Just some things I think about when I read your premise. But again, it sounds very interesting!
 
Top