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"He said" ..."She said" over and over

If there is a dialog going on between two people, and the order in which they are is well defined, do you remove the ownership of the dialog by just writing the dialog and not adding "He said" etc. Obviously if the order changes that would be referenced.

It just gets annoying to have "insert character name" said, at the end of each line of dialog. It kind of ruins the flow.
 

Ban

Troglodytic Trouvère
Article Team
I usually just remove the "he said""she said" from the dialog and instead use synonyms for "said"appropriate to the situation, e.g "he croaked" "she explained" "The old man read out loud", or i just don't write anything down and make sure the structure of the sentences are explanative enough to suggest that someone else is speaking. The last tactic works best if there are only two people talking.
 

Russ

Istar
I usually just remove the "he said""she said" from the dialog and instead use synonyms for "said"appropriate to the situation, e.g "he croaked" "she explained" "The old man read out loud", or i just don't write anything down and make sure the structure of the sentences are explanative enough to suggest that someone else is speaking. The last tactic works best if there are only two people talking.

Personally I avoid all of those fancy dialogue tags like croaked, screamed, inquired, etc. I go with just plain old said about 95% of the time.

If I find that tiring I just drop the "said" and if I need some clarity add in an action to clarify the speaker.
 
You can also write action for a character in the same paragraph as the dialogue. Opening my copy of GRRM's A Feast For Crows to a random page, I found this:

"No, Your Grace." Qyburn gave her a reassuring smile. "Your secrets are safe with me."​

And then, to another random page, this:

"Her rock." Lord Nestor reddened. "She said that?"
"Often. And this"–Petyr gestured at the parchment–"is the proof of it."​

That's a very common approach.
 

Svrtnsse

Staff
Article Team
I often use beats to identify who's talking when I write conversations. It's a way of mixing it up a little and get some variation.

That said, I still use "he/she said" now and and I also skip identifiers completely.
When I do skip identifiers I don't do it for long though. I try to keep it to just two to three lines of conversation so that the reader doesn't lose track. I also try to keep those lines short.

I wrote a guide on planning conversations a while back and in the first section of that I gave some examples of different ways of identifying who's speaking - here: How to Plan and Write a Conversation
It's not a particularly exhaustive guide, but it'll give you the general idea.
 

BWFoster78

Myth Weaver
instead use synonyms for "said"appropriate to the situation, e.g "he croaked" "she explained"

This is one of those things that makes me physically cringe when I read it, especially something like "explained."

"Why does the use of that speech tag annoy you so much?"
"Because it's redundant," Brian explained. (or answered or replied)
 

Ban

Troglodytic Trouvère
Article Team
This is one of those things that makes me physically cringe when I read it, especially something like "explained."

"Why does the use of that speech tag annoy you so much?"
"Because it's redundant," Brian explained. (or answered or replied)

Could you elaborate please? With "explained" i can understand why you'd find it redundant but i think there is value in "croaked""sighed"or similar words because they give you an impression of the character and his/her mannerism, mood or personality. It is an easy and quick way to portray a character.
 

T.Allen.Smith

Staff
Moderator
There's lots of ways you can tackle this, but don't be afraid of the word 'said'. In most cases, it's an invisible word the reader doesn't notice.

However, if you want to move away from "said", you can use action tags. An action tag is where the paragraph combines the character's action and dialogue to attribute speech. A simple example:

Sybil slapped the palms of her hands on her thighs. “Why can’t we listen?”

Action tags can be as complex or as simple as you wish, but they offer a great variety in presentation. I use them quite a bit. They can begin a paragraph, end a paragraph, come in the middle, or split dialogue single or multiple times. Further, your action tags can enhance the effect of the dialogue. They can either reinforce the dialogue (like a character clapping while speaking happy thoughts), or they can run contrary, showing a disconnect between action and thought (like a character saying they're fine while the eyes well with tears and their lower lip trembles). The variety of action and though is why I believe action tags are so effective and rich. You can even use a character's thought as a type of action tag.

Another method is the use of a character address within the dialogue. This is where one character uses the name of the other in speech. Like this:

"Stop being silly, Miskatonic. Of course, you can write well."

If you combine use of the word "said", character addresses, and action tags, you'll have all you need.

A word of caution: Be careful using synonyms for "said". That can get gimmicky real quick. Sometimes they work fine, but too much and it can be jarring to the reader.
 
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Russ

Istar
Could you elaborate please? With "explained" i can understand why you'd find it redundant but i think there is value in "croaked""sighed"or similar words because they give you an impression of the character and his/her mannerism, mood or personality. It is an easy and quick way to portray a character.

Without typing a longer explanation, almost every modern text on writing I have ever read and every editor I have ever heard speak or spoken to has suggested that use of those more descriptive dialogue tags is considered weak or lazy writing. The dialogue should speak for itself. The same way they discourage exclamation points.
 

BWFoster78

Myth Weaver
Could you elaborate please? With "explained" i can understand why you'd find it redundant but i think there is value in "croaked""sighed"or similar words because they give you an impression of the character and his/her mannerism, mood or personality. It is an easy and quick way to portray a character.

Like Russ says, part of it is that it is considered weak writing. There's also the concept of the image you're creating: how, exactly, does one "croak" or "sigh" a word? Seriously, try it now. Croak or sigh out a sentence. Does anyone ever really do that?

The only time I break from "said" is when I need to explain how the words are delivered. I prefer "he shouted" to "he said loudly."
 

BWFoster78

Myth Weaver
Great advice everyone! Maybe it just distracts me more than others.

I think of speech tags like this:

Speech tags are a necessary evil. The only purpose of the speech tag is to add clarity by informing the reader who is speaking.

I would much prefer to add "he said" than to have my reader stop, say "who the crap is speaking?", and have to go back to figure it out. Action tags are great. A lot of the time, no tag is needed at all because back-and-forth or context tells the reader who is speaking.

Sometimes, though, you simply have to add in a tag for clarity. In those cases, I find the easiest thing is to simply throw in a "said" and be done with it.
 

T.Allen.Smith

Staff
Moderator
The only purpose of the speech tag is to add clarity by informing the reader who is speaking.
I disagree. Informing the reader who is speaking is A purpose, but not the ONLY purpose.

Good action tags can enhance dialogue, and the scene as a whole, by giving the reader an extra layer of insight concerning the characters and/or events.
 
C

Chessie

Guest
One great book on this is "He Sat, She Stood" written by Ginger Hanson. She provides a good way to set up your scene with props so that the characters are actually doing something while they're talking, thus giving more life to the scene.

I'll echo the other statements here about using said. Use it to your heart's content. From this website: | Dialogue Tags vs Descriptive Beats


There are two common mistakes seen with dialogue tags. The first is being afraid to use said or asked or believing that said or asked becomes repetitive. As a result, characters are constantly shouting, murmuring, whispering, commanding, stating, and mumbling. Why is this considered weak writing? If you feel the need to explain how a characters says something then his or her dialogue likely isn’t strong enough. Or, on the other end of the spectrum, if your dialogue is strong enough, then your tag only repeats to the reader what you’ve just shown them.
I’m not saying there isn’t a time or place for non said or asked dialogue tags, only that excessive use is considered weak writing.
But doesn’t said or asked become repetitive and boring?
In short: no. The eye tends to pass over “said” or “asked.” We as writers are attuned to words. We pay attention to them. But if you’re doing you job right, the average reader is engrossed in the story and the characters. When said and asked stand out, usually it means the narrative isn’t being woven enough among the dialogue. This brings me to descriptive beats.
Another definition:
Descriptive beat: a sentence before, after, or breaking up dialogue that describes a character’s response or action.
Eg:
She fluffed her hair. “I’m ready for my close up.”
”Coffee?” He held out a mug.
 

Nimue

Auror
I agree with BW for the most part, but I think that some said-alternate words can be powerful sources of emotion in conversation. Muttering, bellowing, croaking, moaning, etc. But that's the thing--they're strong words, and they can be overpowering. You have to mean them when you use them--not just because you don't want to say "said" again. Use them for the most important lines in a scene, use them when the nature of the speech changes the meaning or emotional value of the words. The character needs to be genuinely roaring or whispering in the scene and that needs to work in tandem with their dialogue.
 
C

Chessie

Guest
^ In addition to that, they can also be used before the dialogue itself.

Crouching behind the sofa, Jennifer whispered, "I hope he doesn't find us here."

Or something along those lines.
 

BWFoster78

Myth Weaver
I agree with BW for the most part

I printed that, framed it, and hung it on my wall :)

Actually, though, earlier in the thread I said much the same thing as you just did. If it makes sense that a character is shouting, I use "shout."
 
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