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Avoiding the Damsel in Distress

fancy jr

New Member
I hope this is the right forum to post this under. It think it's more relevant to Writing Questions than World Building.

Here's the scenario:
My main character's wife is an escaped slave. She gets kidnapped by a bounty hunter working for her former master. She is by no means helpless; she is a capable warrior but the villain uses less than honorable tactics to disable her. The "hero" (he is by no means an upstanding citizen) is forced to rescue her. He is NOT a capable warrior and gets the crap kicked out of him, then is saved by a 12 year old girl. Together they save his wife.

My question is: Is this too damsel-in-distress-y? This isn't the final act or climax, but it does lead to the finale. My characters are criminals and I don't want it to read "the brave hero saves his true love." I'm just trying to avoid that type of story. Maybe I'm over thinking this.

Thanks reading my ramblings!
 

ascanius

Inkling
I hope this is the right forum to post this under. It think it's more relevant to Writing Questions than World Building.

Here's the scenario:
My main character's wife is an escaped slave. She gets kidnapped by a bounty hunter working for her former master. She is by no means helpless; she is a capable warrior but the villain uses less than honorable tactics to disable her. The "hero" (he is by no means an upstanding citizen) is forced to rescue her. He is NOT a capable warrior and gets the crap kicked out of him, then is saved by a 12 year old girl. Together they save his wife.

My question is: Is this too damsel-in-distress-y? This isn't the final act or climax, but it does lead to the finale. My characters are criminals and I don't want it to read "the brave hero saves his true love." I'm just trying to avoid that type of story. Maybe I'm over thinking this.

Thanks reading my ramblings!
My question is why is he forced to save her. If he is forced to save her because "the brave hero saves his true love" then possibly but if it is for entirely selfish reasons, then I don't see why it would be. But I may not have the best input, just my thought. I have a similar situation, sort of, where the hero saves the love interest from unseen danger only because her father saw an opportunity to use him to keep her safe. Left alone and not forced into the situation he would never have thought about it. And like yours she is not helpless by any means, in many ways she is more suited to the task than he is.
 

Amanita

Maester
I don't mind female characters who need help at some point of the story for some reason. It's only making them human. A strong female character doesn't need to be a skilled fighter either, she just should be good at something other than jumping into bed with the hero/marrying him.
In your case, if the main character's wife isn't the only one who gets into situations where she needs help, I see no problem with it.
There's something I strongly dislike however: Female characters who are supposed to be powerful fighters but that's only happening off-screen. On-screen they're still helpless victims who need to be saved by the hero and never do anything else. If you have a fighting character, do not only give her scenes where she needs saving but also some where she shows her skills in another important situation.
If you don't want this, you might want to consider not making her skilled at fighting in the first case but a former slave woman that has every reason to need help rather than fight herself and is good at something else.
"Pseudo-feminist" characters who seem to go beyond traditional gender roles but fail dismally at it, are among the things I hate most in books, but that might just be a personal issue. ;)
 

Sparkie

Auror
I have a question: Just how capable is the twelve-year-old? How big a part does she play in the rescue of you main character's wife? If the part she plays is significant enough to say that her role in the rescue is essential, then (in my opinion) it downplays whatever 'hero rescues the damsel in distress' theme you may or may not have going.
Then again i'm not the sort of writer one should listen to anyway. :p
 

Reaver

Staff
Moderator
I don't think this storyline is too "damsel-in-distressy" at all. The fact that you've made the main character's wife quite capable of taking care of herself is quite good. Also the fact that your main character isn't a capable warrior is a teriffic idea. In my humble opinion, I think you've got a great story here.
 

fancy jr

New Member
Thanks for the input everyone!

Ascanius: I guess he is the hero saving his true love, but thinking about what you said I was able to look at it from a different angle. He's not trying to prove his love or win her heart, he did that when he married her. He is simply acting out of duty and loyalty to a friend (who just so happens to be his lover). I like to think he'd do the same for a close friend.

Amanita: I get what you're saying, this doesn't happen until the 3rd act. Until and after this point she is kicking ass and taking names.

Sparkie: She is probably more powerful than the other main characters combined. She is fragile but is skilled in magic, not an offensive spell caster but much more subtle. She is pivotal in helping the hero reach the villain, taking a huge risk using magic that she is unfamiliar with.

Reaver: Thanks for the encouragement. He is only a thief; stealth and stealing are his primary skills. He could hold his own in a bar brawl or a knife fight, but would be outmatched by simple guard.
 

Reaver

Staff
Moderator
Only a thief? You give yourself too little credit, my friend. Is Robin Hood only a thief? A thief as a main character is a brilliant idea and one that has, in my opinion, gotten very little attention in Fantasy writing. Remember that as your thief character develops, he will eventually learn new skills and grow more adept at everything, including the art of personal combat. Or perhaps he will realize that it's not in a thief's best interest to fight, which usually invites unwanted attention from those around him, but rather to flee, and live to steal another day. I think that this simple thief has great potential.
 

fancy jr

New Member
Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that he was "only" a thief. I just meant that he is a thief in the strictest sense. He doesn't kill on a job unless he absolutely has to, his preferred course of action is to run. If he gets caught by the guards he's dead or going to jail. His wife usually plays lookout and/or delays the guards. They know that what they are doing is illegal and that the other guys are just doing their job. I'm actually going to try to have only a few major fights in the story with the characters relying on cunning instead instead of brute strength. Only one of the villains could actually be considered evil, the rest are simply trying to survive. While my characters will see them as enemies, they will also be able to put themselves in the others shoes.
 

Reaver

Staff
Moderator
This sounds like an excellent storyline! I look forward to reading it someday. In fact, after you get more posts, you should give us all a sample in the Showcase section of Forums.
 

Phoenix

Troubadour
To be quiet honest I plan to have my hero and love interest die at the end of my series. I think it would suck though. If I ever got around to writing it I know I would feel like crap killing him off. Oh, well I don't want the happy, frilly, nonrealistic ending we get now days.
 
I like the idea of the hero and lover dying at the end...(am I being horrid? I'm sorry...) But you're right...endings are so unrealistic sometimes...and the whole "Riding off into the sunset" thing has been re-worded and re-worked and re-everything to the point of being worse than cliche...it's just plain boring. And having the power to kill off the random character is one of those joys of writing. "I don't like you anymore...uh oh, you just fell off a cliff! Yay!" ;)

A thief whose main line of defense is his sense of self-preservation is a brilliant idea...not a lot of people would think of that! This story has great potential, and I hope it goes well for you!

Thalaea Aithusia
 

Empathy

Dreamer
I still haven't got my ending, but I don't have the damsel in distress theme in mine either, however I'm trying to avoid the whole "I'm a vampire, and I am so special" thing, because of the current trends.
 

Reaver

Staff
Moderator
That's probably a wise decision--avoiding the whole vampire thing--at least for the next few months. Hopefully all this overzealous "vampirization"--namely by movies and tv--will go away soon. They're really sucking the lifeblood out of a great genre. (Pun most certainly intended.)
 

Legendary Sidekick

The HAM'ster
Moderator
SHORT RESPONSE TO O.P.: There's nothing wrong with your female lead, based on the given information.

"Pseudo-feminist" characters who seem to go beyond traditional gender roles but fail dismally at it, are among the things I hate most in books, but that might just be a personal issue. ;)
I agree with this^. A woman who is masculine in everyway except that she looks good in a chainmail bikini is not a strong woman. She's Conan the Barbarian trapped in a woman's body. Masculinity is often treated as a synonym for strength. Avoiding this is more important than avoiding the "damsel in distress" scenario if you're trying not to insult your readers with a stereotypical female lead.

A strong female character can be the damsel in distress. It's how she handles the situation that makes her strong, or how she recovers from it. Also, a hero can lose battles without looking weak. It's why he loses or how he deals with failure/defeat that makes him heroic.

As for a 12-year-old girl helping the hero... without knowing anything about the story, I support her! (I have a soft spot for sidekicks.)
 

Stranger

Dreamer
As annoying as damsels-in-distress can be, there's something even worse: the strong female lead who becomes a soppy, mushy distressed mess as soon as she meets a love interest. Ugh. It's like "Why hello there, Man of My Dreams. I guess I don't need this anymore." *chucks her personality out the window*

I don't think your situation is a damsel story at all, OP. Your hero gets rescued by a little girl. A damsel story would have him rescue the girl, his love interest and several kittens along the way.
 

Empathy

Dreamer
Lol. True true. Which is why I'm trying to avoid the cliché's yes there is going to be some, vampire lore and things, but I'm going to be pushing more for the storyline, though I hope more people will tell me what they think if it does start to go along the lines of what I consider a horrible movie "Twilighty".
 
Lol. True true. Which is why I'm trying to avoid the cliché's yes there is going to be some, vampire lore and things, but I'm going to be pushing more for the storyline, though I hope more people will tell me what they think if it does start to go along the lines of what I consider a horrible movie "Twilighty".

Just post it in the showcase, I'm sure plenty of people here would be happy to yell at you if it comes anything close to "Twilight" ;).
 

Empathy

Dreamer
I have its called Welcome to Darkside, so any comments is helpful! I so so do not want it to be like Twilight!
 

Leif GS Notae

Closed Account
Sounds as if you have a plan and the feedback is great so far. I think the real thing I'd love to hear about is what the "thief" really is after? Is this woman really his love interest or does she have something he needs? Is this a "crossroads" moment where he might question if he loves her? Does he find what he needs and struggles with if his life was a lie?

Hitting this level can draw in some people and could make the male lead more memorable. Especially if there is another twist about a previous relationship where the daughter he had would have been as old as the twelve-year-old helping him now. Of course, that is hitting some canned ham. However, it is another layer to throw out there and test.

Looking forward to seeing what you have in store for this piece.
 

lizzy.d

Acolyte
It's funny, I initially discovered this forum by searching for the whole "damsel in distress" thing pertaining to my own works. I don't think the described scenario is anything to worry about. The "damsel in distress" stigma has been largely taken over by Disney and the notion of Prince Charming. But, when in doubt go with your gut!
 
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