Need a Soft Moment

[Jon_Chong]

Before I comment, there are a few things I would like to clarify.

1.) How is he a part farmer/part adventurer? Unless you mean to say he's done with adventuring and has decided to take up his father's farm. There is one other thing: I do not like the word adventurer. A person gets money by doing jobs, not by going on adventures. If he specializes in exploring old ruins, he would be an explorer. If he lives by the strength of his sword, then he is likely a mercenary. If he was part of an army, then he is an ex-soldier. By specifying his area of specialty, you narrow down his skill set and thereby narrow down the list of logical responses to any given situation. Knowing this is crucial.

2.) What does the reader know about their relationship at this stage? Are they close? Childhood friends? Are they betrothed? By simply defining this, the resulting scene will be more natural as their choice of word s and dialogue will change depending on the nature of their relationship. Here's an example scene

He's in the tavern after a hard day in the fields. He's still adjusting to the hours and the labor. She's late though. They promised to meet two hours past. He's getting antsy but he tries to hide it and waits. Some kids come in, trying to cause trouble with the local barmaid. Nothing serious but he's getting annoyed. He tells them to cool it outside or he will take them outside. They take him on his bluff. So he starts breaking noses. Enter the woman. She catches him with a kid's head in his meaty palms, ready to slam the kid's face into a table. The entire tavern is quiet. He lets the kid go, acutely aware of the blood on his hands and shirt. No one is hurt too badly, but the damage is already done. There were no words said as she moves to tend to the wounded.

A simple scene like this sets the dynamics of the relationship, his place in the village versus her place in the village and him adjusting to the routine of farm life. It also showcases his skills, which is very important.

[Devor]

Before I comment, there are a few things I would like to clarify.

1.) How is he a part farmer/part adventurer?

2.) What does the reader know about their relationship at this stage?

1 - I'm just being intentionally vague because it's not really relevant and I've had threads derail or end the moment I give a lot of explanations. I think maybe it gets intimidating. I also want the moment to be about their relationship, and I can figure out how tie-it-in to his activities later. He does not actually go by the title "adventurer."

2 - The reader knows nothing, this is their first chapter. I have characters, a world, and a concept, but I don't even have an outline. (I don't have much writing time yet so I'm starting with short stories to introduce some of the characters. But those aren't relevant for this question.) I figured this was the time to ask because everything is so much in flux and there aren't a lot of details to reconcile.

He's in the tavern after a hard day in the fields. He's still adjusting to the hours and the labor. She's late though. They promised to meet two hours past. He's getting antsy but he tries to hide it and waits. Some kids come in, trying to cause trouble with the local barmaid. Nothing serious but he's getting annoyed. He tells them to cool it outside or he will take them outside. They take him on his bluff. So he starts breaking noses. Enter the woman. She catches him with a kid's head in his meaty palms, ready to slam the kid's face into a table. The entire tavern is quiet. He lets the kid go, acutely aware of the blood on his hands and shirt. No one is hurt too badly, but the damage is already done. There were no words said as she moves to tend to the wounded.

While you've mentioned a few things to consider, that's a little brazen for someone at this stage of life. But I like having her be "late" while domestic conflict pops up. It foreshadows her entry and seems less coincidental.

See I think those slow periods where you are exploring the relationship is important. I was beginning to feel like a freak on this forum because I write a sort of Romantic Fantasy. Is that a real genre?

I think it's considered a sub-genre of Romance novels.

The thing is, most fantasy readers are men because it's a genre that opens up great possibilities for action, but most readers are women who are more interested in relationship dynamics. Good writing - by which I mean, just for the moment, writing designed to deliver an impact on the largest number of readers - will find ways to incorporate both, and would probably lean more on character than action. There's a lot of people on the sidelines who would read that kind of fantasy if it reached them.

I think there's sometimes a concept gap on this forum. Sometimes "action" means intense-climactic-drama, while it should probably be used more often to refer to anything which focuses on the character's activities. There's no reason a soft moment can't be interesting. Speaking of which, you should check out my entry in Trigger Challenge 3, and you'll understand the roots of my deep-seeded loathing for Mr. Sidekick (which is 100.00 percent of the time overwhelmed by his Legendariness).

One tiny thing about the conflict. Unless your farmers are unusual, I'm not sure they'd be the sort of person someone would bother steal from at a market (that sounds kinda small potatoes to me). What about if thieves were stealing his sheep or cattle? Now that's more exciting (he can ride them down or she can), plus then you can throw in a hanging in the end!

Well, hustling isn't really the same as stealing, but I'll take note that you kicked the action up a notch. I'll try to think of a stronger source of conflict for her to intervene for. Maybe I should create a character to serve as their foil, locally. Probably someone tied to her, since I know less about her. Any thoughts about what kind of person causes trouble for a woman at this stage in life?

[Jon_Chong]

What do you mean by a woman at this stage in her life? Like how old is she? Or are you referring to her position in the patrol? Exactly how old is she and what is her rank in the patrol?

[Devor]

What do you mean by a woman at this stage in her life? Like how old is she? Or are you referring to her position in the patrol? Exactly how old is she and what is her rank in the patrol?

I'm just referring to a person who is almost ready to settle down but about to have that interrupted. I'm looking for an idea for how to establish their relationship dynamic, and I'm asking now because there aren't yet a lot of those details to reconcile.

Right now I think it would be best to create a character who can spur on conflicts for them at home, but I'm back and forth about how much of a role such a character should play right out the door. I don't want him to steal the scene from the MCs or come across as too weak of a character. I think I need some kind of a moment between the two characters which then transitions into a conflict from their domestic foil.

For such a character, I think the best thought so far is to create a former mentor in the patrol who doesn't like her because he was injured or else had someone die while she was dealing with relationship issues. But I don't think "she was out that day" is going to justify an antagonistic relationship and "she was sloppy" might make her look too weak because it would come up in her formative moments as a character.

Once I figure this out I shouldn't have a problem deciding where to take it, but just getting started with this relationship stuff could take me a while to figure out. Any ideas for a moment or a domestic foil would be really helpful.

[Caged Maiden]

Hmm.. writing relationships is my forte, but I'm not sure exactly what you're looking for. I'm happy to help if I can, but I'm not entirely sure what is going on in your world.

[Jon_Chong]

Okay, so you're looking for something that can interrupt the MCs' decision to settle down while establishing their relationship dynamic. But before we get the cart before the horse, we need to know what kind of relationship they have before we can plausibly interrupt it. Have you decided on their relationship dynamic?

[Devor]

Hmm.. writing relationships is my forte, but I'm not sure exactly what you're looking for. I'm happy to help if I can, but I'm not entirely sure what is going on in your world.

Okay, so you're looking for something that can interrupt the MCs' decision to settle down while establishing their relationship dynamic. But before we get the cart before the horse, we need to know what kind of relationship they have before we can plausibly interrupt it. Have you decided on their relationship dynamic?

No Jon_Chong, I'm looking for something to establish their character dynamic before their plans get interrupted. I have my plot, I have the interruption, I'm just trying to find a starting place for the MC's story.

I'm really hesitant to believe that piling on a mountain of detail will help, especially when the key details really are still up in the air. The only thing I know is that I want the two characters to be in a stage of life where they're about to settle down. I don't want coming of age, I don't want "romance" and wooing, I want the story and the personal conflicts between these two characters to be about their efforts to decide between wanting "the simple life" and jumping wholeheartedly into their impending roles in a climactic adventure.

Why? It may be worth noting that their beautiful world will get pretty thrashed, and I'm thinking that they may have dramatically conflicting reactions to those events. But I'm not sure who will react how, and I won't until I figure out where they're beginning.

So I won't a life-moment to figure out who they are and where their story begins. I think I also want to develop some personal complexity and conflicts around the woman's life and background by creating a new character. I know she's part of the mounted patrol, but I don't have any other details or specifics in place for her yet.

[SeverinR]

I think he wants to show a budding romance with long term dreams, as the calm before the storm. The hope of what they will have to look forward to, if they survive the ordeal.

[Jon_Chong]

Before you establish their relationship to the readers, you as an author needs to know what kind of relationship their in. Thing is, being ready to settle down is kind of vague for me and I would like a bit more detail. How old are they? How do they view their respective places in the community? Where did they meet? Was it during one of his adventures? Perhaps they were childhood friends, betrothed until his wanderlust took him. That would raise a few questions, like how does she react to him coming home? Things like that. Flesh their relationship out a bit more. You have a great starting point, but right now it's in a vacuum. We don't need a mountain of detail, but we do need bricks before we can build a house

[Devor]

I think he wants to show a budding romance with long term dreams, as the calm before the storm. The hope of what they will have to look forward to, if they survive the ordeal.

Maybe a little, but it's at least as much about the other end of the spectrum - I need to justify the anger and personal conflicts which come later when their home and the life they would have had is torn apart, and its return becomes seemingly more and more impossible.

We don't need a mountain of detail, but we do need bricks before we can build a house

I'm deliberately asking before those details are settled. I need to envision a moment of awesome between the two, and I'll figure out details around it. Really, any random example would help the brainstorming process.