Quick wording problem

[BWFoster78]

Here's the paragraph:

He loved how the neat rows of glass canisters of all sizes and baskets filled with all manner of plants lined the roughhewn boards. Every item had its place. He felt more at home there than at the Diwen’s.

Question:

In the last sentence, should it be "there" or "here?" I keep changing it; neither sounds right.

Bonus question:

I added in that last sentence, and I like what it reveals. It doesn't flow correctly, though. Any thoughts on how to fix it?

2nd Bonus:

At the end of his count, he still could not force himself to drink from the bottle. He set it on his small oak writing table. “Of all the stupid things I’ve done, this is absolutely the dumbest. It could kill me.”

He looked at his bed, then back at the bottle, then at the bed again. “Radiation take it!” Seizing courage with both hands, he grabbed the mixture, threw his head back, and chugged it down. His face screwed into a grimace. The elixir tasted fouler than the tonic Master Rae gave school children he suspected of feigning illness.

The question is:

Do you hate "radiation take it" as a curse? I want the swear words to match my world, and, long story, the radiation both fits well and gives a bit of a mystery. Kinda like why are we talking about radiation in the middle of a fantasy novel?

Is it too distracting? Does it sound corny?

[Caged Maiden]

He loved how the neat rows of glass canisters of all sizes and baskets filled with all manner of plants lined the roughhewn boards. Every item had its place. He felt more at home there than at the Diwen’s.

Okay so for your first question, it depends on POV. If we are in his head, then maybe here would be better than there, but I would keep it as there. For me, that's how I write, third person limited, right? Anyways, I like it as it is.

Second question, all I would do to change this is give a reason. Such as: The simple perfect order of the items, lacking that chaotic feel of the Diwen's (whatever or whoever that is, sorry, I'm trying to do this as well as I can), and somehow, that brought him a little comfort.

Hope that helps!

[BWFoster78]

He loved how the neat rows of glass canisters of all sizes and baskets filled with all manner of plants lined the roughhewn boards. Every item had its place. He felt more at home there than at the Diwen’s.

Okay so for your first question, it depends on POV. If we are in his head, then maybe here would be better than there, but I would keep it as there. For me, that's how I write, third person limited, right? Anyways, I like it as it is.

Second question, all I would do to change this is give a reason. Such as: The simple perfect order of the items, lacking that chaotic feel of the Diwen's (whatever or whoever that is, sorry, I'm trying to do this as well as I can), and somehow, that brought him a little comfort.

Hope that helps!

3rd person limited is correct, and that helped a bunch. BTW, I added an edit with another question at the bottom. Thanks again!

[T.Allen.Smith]

To me it's a question of where the character is when thinking about this place.

Is he in the room? If so then it's "here".

Is he elsewhere but thinking about the room? If so then it's "there".

[T.Allen.Smith]

As far as the "radiation" curse goes, I found it confusing. That's not saying that with a little context it wouldn't work but in this limited context I didn't understand it was even a curse.

[BWFoster78]

To me it's a question of where the character is when thinking about this place.

Is he in the room? If so then it's "here".

Is he elsewhere but thinking about the room? If so then it's "there".

He's in the room.

[BWFoster78]

As far as the "radiation" curse goes, I found it confusing. That's not saying that with a little context it wouldn't work but in this limited context I didn't understand it was even a curse.

I was afraid of that.

If it were more contextually identified as a curse, do you think it would come off as corny? That's my biggest fear.

[T.Allen.Smith]

Really hard to say without actually reading it all. My advice is to roll with it. Give it a whirl & experiment.
If it doesn't work you'll know at critique time. Then you can change it in revision.

You'll never know if something will work if you don't try it....

[Caged Maiden]

That is a harder question. Upon first read, I didn't take it for a curse, instead thinking he was speaking about magic or science in some way, so this would probably read better in the context of your world, where this concept has been introduced. If I were to step in a mud puddle and say, "Thor's beard!" people would probably assume it's a curse because Thor is recognized as a god, even if the person overhearing doesn't worship him. Radiation is a different type of concept, one without a mainstream connotation, if that's the right way to convey what I'm trying to say, and it would make more sense in the context of the story. However, once I knew it was a curse, I didn't hate it, just accepted it as it was, because his mannerisms are consistent with someone who is fighting against their own better judgement and swears at caving in.

[Steerpike]

You might come up with a shortened word instead of radiation. For example, rads are units of ionizing radiation, so you could try "rads take it." I think the shorter word fits better as a curse; makes it more punchy. You might hate that particular word, but you get the idea.