perspectives in action sequences

[Harbinger]

I ran into an interesting problem while writing and wanted to know if anyone can clear it up. My question is about being clear who is doing what during a paragraph. I run into this problem alot during action scenes. An example is below:

Two guards appeared on the stair above, drawing their swords as they rushed the imposters. Davaar met the first and cleaved into the soldier’s arm with a mighty swing of his waraxe. Carleon finished the wounded man by running his blade across his throat.

For the third sentence, is it clear that Carleon is using his own sword to cut the soldier's throat, or does it read as if he's cutting his own throat? I may be thinking too far into it but I seem to run into this kind of thing alot.

[T.Allen.Smith]

Two guards appeared on the stair above, drawing their swords as they rushed the imposters. Davaar met the first and cleaved into the soldier's arm with a mighty swing of his waraxe. Carleon finished the wounded man by running his blade across his throat.

On first read it seemed fine to me. Second time through, I can see where a reader might be confused. I doubt very many won't get the sentence but if you're striving for ultimate clarity then you may wish to rewrite it.

Something like, "Carleon slit the wounded man's throat to finish him." - its an extremely active sentence & unlikely to be read differently by different readers. Always try to be as clear as possible.

[BWFoster78]

Carleon finished the wounded man by running his blade across his throat.

You're going to have to reword. Both of uses of "his," to me, refer back to "man."

[Harbinger]

Ya thats how I read it too.

[Penpilot]

Maybe it's me but I followed the flow of the sentences just fine. No confusion on my part when reading who did what to whom.

[Steerpike]

Maybe it's me but I followed the flow of the sentences just fine. No confusion on my part when reading who did what to whom.

Same here. You can certainly change it if you want to clarify, but I doubt any reader will be confused or mistaken by it.

[BWFoster78]

Maybe it's me but I followed the flow of the sentences just fine. No confusion on my part when reading who did what to whom.

I understand what he's trying to say, but the point is that it can create confusion. Think about it. He's got two uses of the word "his" right next to each other that refer to two different people. Sure, most people will connect the dots and figure the most logical way to interpret the sentence, but you really don't want to do it for several reasons:

1) It takes the reader out of the flow if they have to figure out what the author is saying.
2) Some people won't be able to figure it out, and, each time you have a situation they don't understand, you risk losing them.
3) It's sloppy writing.

[ThinkerX]

Carleon finished the wounded man by running his blade across his throat.

'Careleon ran his blade across the wounded mans throat.'

[Shockley]

Assuming your readers are thinking beings (and they should be, if they can actually read) there will be no confusion.

From a purely stylistic point you might want to change it, but as a functional sentence it is fine.

[BWFoster78]

Assuming your readers are thinking beings (and they should be, if they can actually read) there will be no confusion.

From a purely stylistic point you might want to change it, but as a functional sentence it is fine.

Again, the way that it is written is that the protagonist uses the wounded man's blade to cut the wounded man's throat.

I'm not sure how you would reasonably interpret the sentence any other way unless you stop and think "The author meant to say."

If it's important that the protagonist use his own blade, then you have to reword. It's not a "style" choice.