Read Reviews on Amazon

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Grammar for exiting a building

This is a discussion on "Grammar for exiting a building" in the Writing Questions forum.

  1. #1
    Senior Member Lorna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Lancashire, UK
    Posts
    421
    Reputation
    420

    Grammar for exiting a building

    Hi, does anybody know which of these ways of describing leaving a building from a third person limited viewpoint is correct?

    1) He exited his quarters and headed to the pub.
    2) He exited from his quarters and headed to the pub.

    I'm not great on grammatical rules but the first puts me more in the viewpoint character's head. In the second the 'from' makes me think I'm watching him exiting from an omniscient perspective. When I'm exiting my house I don't see myself as exiting 'from' it. Actually, I see myself as leaving my house.

    Maybe

    3) He left his quarters and headed to the pub

    Would be the best bet?
    'The Awen I sing, from the deep I bring it' - Taliessin

    http://lornasmithers.wordpress.com/

  2. #2
    Moderator Steerpike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    R'lyeh
    Posts
    5,626
    Portfolio Entries
    3
    Reputation
    5474
    I'd go with number three, of the examples you posted. Of the first two, I'd use number one. The "from" in example two seems like a needless additional word.
    "With age came wisdom. Sometimes wisdom came with an ass kicking, too. And nothing could kick ass like the whole world." -The character "Horn" ruminating on his circumstances. The Decaying Mansions of Memory, by Jay Lake.

    You, too, can get a copy of Lorelei and the Lost and Found Monster from Amazon.com.

  3. #3
    Senior Member JonSnow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Sandy, UT
    Posts
    172
    Reputation
    120
    Grammatically, any of them work. #2 has the word "from" which is completely unnecessary. I'd go with #3.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Anders Ämting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,104
    Reputation
    1207
    Quote Originally Posted by Lorna View Post
    3) He left his quarters and headed to the pub
    This one. No need to complicate it.

    Nobody actually uses the word "exited", anyway. It's: "Elvis has left the building," or "I left the hotel at 9.30, making sure to bring my sword-cane along just in case."
    "Optimism through stalwart skepticism is a defect not everyone is lucky enough to be cursed with."
    -Homestuck

  5. #5
    Moderator T.Allen.Smith's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Western USA
    Posts
    1,435
    Reputation
    2097
    They all seem okay as far as POV is concerned. Although I do agree that "from" is an unnecessary word.
    “Maybe the hardest thing in writing is simply to tell the truth about things as we see them.”
    ― John Steinbeck

  6. #6
    Moderator Benjamin Clayborne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    1,852
    Portfolio Entries
    1
    Reputation
    1176
    The entire reference to his quarters is unnecessary, unless the pub is also in his quarters. Tell the reader

    He went to the pub.

    and they'll assume he exited his quarters to do so.
    "Energy and persistence conquer all things." - Benjamin Franklin
    Hey! You there, with that duck on your head! Read my blog: When All of a Sudden...

  7. #7
    Member Jared's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    37
    Reputation
    70
    Quote Originally Posted by Benjamin Clayborne View Post
    The entire reference to his quarters is unnecessary, unless the pub is also in his quarters. Tell the reader

    He went to the pub.

    and they'll assume he exited his quarters to do so.
    I'd probably go with this. And if you wanted to add some character voice or imply relative location, you could add a modifier like up, down, over, across, etc.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Lorna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Lancashire, UK
    Posts
    421
    Reputation
    420
    Thanks everybody.

    @Benjamin Clayborne

    He went to the pub.
    Duh! Why do I have a habit of making a meal out of everything?
    'The Awen I sing, from the deep I bring it' - Taliessin

    http://lornasmithers.wordpress.com/

  9. #9
    Senior Member Anders Ämting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,104
    Reputation
    1207
    Quote Originally Posted by Benjamin Clayborne View Post
    The entire reference to his quarters is unnecessary, unless the pub is also in his quarters. Tell the reader

    He went to the pub.

    and they'll assume he exited his quarters to do so.
    Well, what if something stops him on the way to the pub? Then it's incorrect to say he went to the pub, and saying he went towards the pub when he's been established to be in his quarters sounds kinda weird.
    "Optimism through stalwart skepticism is a defect not everyone is lucky enough to be cursed with."
    -Homestuck

  10. #10
    Senior Member Zero Angel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    World of Ao
    Posts
    1,183
    Reputation
    702
    I think Benjamin's got the ticket. Unless as Anders pointed out, the fellow is stopped on the way.

    From the OP, I'd go with the third option as well.

    Finally, although "exited" is rare, if this is your style then #1 would be the choice I'd go with.
    Zero Angel's War of the Ages
    Website: ApocalypseDesigns.com
    Upcoming Releases: The Warrior's Way

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Use of Proper Spelling and Grammar
    By Black Dragon in forum News & Announcements
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: 1-21-13, 9:02 PM
  2. Quick Grammar Questions
    By Androxine Vortex in forum Writing Questions
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 5-31-12, 10:58 AM
  3. Grammar.
    By TGNewman in forum Writing Questions
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 3-27-12, 3:29 PM
  4. grammar (help please)
    By eternaldream24 in forum Writing Questions
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 1-10-12, 11:43 AM
  5. Grammar Nazism?
    By Xanados in forum Writing Questions
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 1-5-12, 12:17 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •