# Please Critique my work



## srebak (Jun 27, 2011)

This was an idea i had for Tv show. I was told to keep it brief, but i want to be sure the full idea was clear


*The Divine Three*

*Plot:* Three elementary school kids (ages 9-12) of a place called Nexus City, USA, accidentally stumble upon a box with three strange items; a belt with a lightning bolt on the buckle, a golden Tiara and a necklace with a raven pendant. 

Back in Nexus City, Zack, Ivy and Neil begin to truly understand what these items are. Zack discovers that the belt he wears is the Belt of Olympus; Ivy learns she's wearing the Tiara of Isis and Neil figures out that he's wearing the Pendant of Asgard. 

Each item possesses ancient, divine powers, accessable to whoever wears them. More specifically, when Zack, Ivy and Neil say the proper incantations, they are imbued with the power of the gods and transform into demigod-like beings. 

Now Zack, Ivy and Neil must learn from the All-knowing Oracle how to master these powers and protect their world from Evil. This will take them to amazing places of Myth and legend; from Mount Olympus to the Underworld, from the Nile River to Duat, from Asgard to Valhalla and even to the palace of the Jade Emperor and the land of Animal Spirits. All of this, from the shared words "We are Divine!"

*Characters:*

Protagonists:
*Zack Salmoneus* - The eldest of the trio (12 yrs. old) and the wearer of the Belt of Olympus. When he wields the belt’s power, he gains Super Strength, Super Speed, Flight, durability and control over Lightning (like Zeus). To wield these powers, he will say the name of a figure in Greek Mythology (e.g. to use Super Strength he says "By the Strength of Hercules"). He is the de facto leader of the group, but his role is still unofficial. As such, Ivy and Neil often get annoyed when he gets too bossy and overly controlling. But when it really matters, Zack shows the skill of a true leader and is still respected as such. When he invokes the power of his belt, he transforms into a slightly taller, muscular, armored figure with the same emblem that's on the belt, on a chest plate and on the helmet he wears. His voice also becomes deeper and rather booming. To transform, he grabs the belt and exclaims "By Sky, By Earth, By Mount Olympus!" and he is then struck by a lightning bolt, after which, he becomes his demigod form. His last name is based on the Greek myth about the crazy King Salmoneus who thought he was the real Zeus and was smitten by the real Zeus for his gall.

*Ivy Gizza *- The middle member of the group (10-11 yrs. old) and the wearer of the Tiara of Isis. When she summons the Tiara's power, she gains the power of light (she can create bright flashes of light out of nowhere and even channel them into energy blasts), sand (she can conjure, control and even turn herself into sand) and is given the power of vision and prophecy. Like Zack, she also must include the name of a mythological being or figure when she wields her power (e.g. to use her light power, she says "By the light of Ra"). She is generally a kind, sensitive and cultured young lady, one who both her comrades can rely on, even though she is often at odds with Zack. But because she's always been a good student, and because the Tiara gives her access to a large amount of knowledge, she tends to be a bit of a know-it-all from time to time. When she invokes the Tiara's magic, she transforms into a taller, more developed woman wearing Egyptian royal clothing. Her voice is also more soothing and seductive. To transform, she puts 2 fingers on her tiara and exclaims "By the Desert Sands!" and she is surrounded by a sudden sandstorm and changes. Her name is based on Egypt’s third largest city which is also home to Egypt’s most famous monuments. 

*Neil Gardas* - The youngest of the three "heroes" and the wearer of the Pendant of Asgard. When he calls forth the pendant's power, he becomes able to summon snowstorms, speak to animals and fight with skills he never learned. Naturally, like his friends, he must call the names of figures of his new natural mythology (e.g. to use his ice powers, he says "By the breath of Fenrir"). Neil is young, but he is also rather sensible, as he does better at thinking things through. But at times, he will often act his age, this is when he jumps in without thinking and gets himself and his friends in danger. He is still, however, definitely the glue that holds the group together. He is also the one who both Zack and Ivy go to, when they want to ventilate about the other. When he invokes the pendant's power, he transforms into a taller Viking, nuff said. His voice actually becomes a little raspier, but still booming. To transform, he grabs the pendant, holds it in the air and shouts "For Asgard! For Valhalla, For Odin" and then a snowstorm appears out of nowhere, freezes him in a block of Ice and he breaks out, fully transformed. His name is an anagram of the word; Asgard, home of the Norse gods.

*Oracle* - The famous Oracle of Delphi, for centuries she has lived in Delphi and offered her visions of the future to all who seek her out. Somewhere along the centuries she's been alive, the three almighty deities of three different cultures; Zeus of Greece, Isis of Egypt and Odin of the Norse, summoned her to guard their items of godly power from the forces of evil. She hid them away, until Zack, Ivy and Neil found them. When they eventually proved themselves skilled in their new powers, Oracle decided to do what she can to help in their fight against the evil they face. She goes under the alias Morton Delphi which is a direct reference to where she is from.

Antagonists:
*Circe *- The Ancient Greek enchantress and the show's Main Antagonist. She was best known for delaying Odysseus' journey home by turning his men into pigs. But she's actually much worse than that. Circe is an all powerful witch who summons power and allies from the deepest pits of Tartarus. She used such assets to spread terror and pain to anyone she pleased. Eventually, the gods punished her by placing a bronze necklace around her neck that greatly weakened her magic to merely basic spells. But that wasn't the end of it, for gross misuse of her domain; Hades himself exiled her to the darkest pits of his kingdom. When the moons aligned, the spell that trapped her was broken and she was freed. She later forms an alliance with Apep and Skadi, who seek the same goal as her, conquest. And what's worse, when the two combined their power, they managed to remove Circe's necklace and restore her to full power.   
*Speartip *- Speartip is Circe's Minotaur manservant and the muscle of her other minions. He is generally a mindless brute, who does anything Circe tells him. But he's also loyal to a fault; this makes him the main obstacle when it comes to attacking Circe directly. He obviously named after the sharp points on his horns  

*Apep* - The Ancient Egyptian Serpent and 1/3 of the shows main antagonists. Since the beginning, Apep has been locked in eternal battle with the Sun God, Ra, in Apep's attempts to stop Ra from bringing the morning to the world. Apep has continued this pattern for thousands of years and every time Ra bested him. Finally tiring of this cycle of failures, Apep slowly slipped into a deep slumber underneath the Nile River. But when the moons aligned, Apep’s dark energy gained a bit of a spike and he decided to use it, not for petty revenge on Ra, but to seize absolute power. Afterwards, Apep formed an alliance with Circe and Skadi, if only accomplish their shared goal, domination and control. While Circe brings to the alliance her dark magic and unearthly resources, Apep brings deviousness and cunning. Apep is the usually the one comes up with the evil trio’s plans and strategies, even though Circe is supposedly the one in charge.
*Set* - Apep's Hyena lackey. When Apep rose from the Nile, he saw a lone hyena. Knowing he would require some assistance, Apep imbued this hyena with dark supernatural powers. Now the hyena, now called Set by his new snake master, is able to talk, though he’s not able to do much else. Also, he mainly just chuckles like an idiot, but when ordered to attack; he is as vicious as an entire pack of hyenas. He is named after the Egyptian god of Chaos and Disorder, Set. 

*Skadi *— The Norse goddess of Ice and Vengeance. Because she is an ice elemental, she is rather cold blooded and sadistic. She has wreaked havoc in the Norse lands with malicious pranks and cruel jokes for centuries until she grew tired and fell into a deep sleep. When the moons aligned, she was reawakened and decided to take her pranks to a new level, a more dangerous level. Afterwards, Skadi teamed up with Circe and Apep to do so. While Circe brings power and Apep brings cunning, Skadi brings Intel. Because she is a powerful deity of the Ice, she has a number of ice-themed resources at her disposal which she uses to look for things or people who might be of some use to her or he comrades.
*Blizzard* - Skadi's pet Snowy Owl and main spy


----------



## Map the Dragon (Jun 27, 2011)

Now that you have enough posts, you may want to shift this over to the Showcase forum.


----------

