# The best break-up ever.



## Rikilamaro (May 24, 2012)

I have main characters that are in a relationship. They need to stop being in a relationship for many reasons. The girl is breaking up with the boy. She wants to stay friends, but he is not going to be able to accept that. The scene I am stuck on is how to actually break them up. A fight? A civil discussion? 

So tell me your worst and best break-up stories ever. I need inspiration!

(Please, and thank you!)


----------



## Burst (May 24, 2012)

A girl once broke up with me because I told her that I liked Star Trek (She liked it also, but I was lying) and so she broke up with me because of that and decided to go out with someone who did like Star Trek. I cried the entire day. >_> don't lie to girls. It was a shame too, 'cuz she was hot. xD


----------



## Rikilamaro (May 24, 2012)

LOL As a bonafide Trekkie I would have broken up with you too. 

Lying to girls is always a bad idea. We always find out.


----------



## T.Allen.Smith (May 24, 2012)

What's the girl's personality like? This will go a long way in thinking of ways that she'll break up with a boyfriend.

I've always preferred plain honesty. 
"I'm just not into you anymore."
"You're boring."
"I'm attracted to someone else."

That policy has burned a lot of bridges though & explains why I don't have any ex-GFs as friends. That's fine with me though. If I broke up with them (or was dumped) there's a reason...

Most times I find that the break ups aren't the most interesting parts. The reprisals, however, can be very entertaining.

I've seen girls holding onto the roof of a car, women break into apartments and destroy the entirety of someone's wardrobe, men picking fights with everyone his ex talks to, etc.

For my money that's where you'll find the meat. After the sadness & depression withers and your character rushes headlong into revenge or "I'll show her!" mode.


----------



## Rikilamaro (May 24, 2012)

Good point.

She really is a sweet girl that's just lost interest. She met someone new she likes, but hasn't acted on it because she's wants to not muddy the waters. But she's also not that straight forward. Her biggest fear is hurting the guy because she still cares for him. He's a bit of a loose cannon to so there's an element of fear behind her reticence.


----------



## T.Allen.Smith (May 24, 2012)

So there's some apprehension on her part. That's good. She's conflicted.

Now, will she be open to lying to him or staging some event to possibly soften the blow? Will she throw out constant hits & clues that he never picks up?

When someone really cares about the person they are breaking up with I wouldn't think that they'd try to be too creative with the breakup. That's just cruel. If however, she has real reason to fear his rash action then maybe.

Just off the top of my head... Could you have her try to break it off repeatedly but unsuccessfully, eventually moving toward the other man anyway? Lots of conflict there.


----------



## Caged Maiden (May 24, 2012)

Hm.. my best break-up was with the guy I dated from age 15-17.  We just didn't want to get married, so we stayed friends, though moved on with our own lives.  No one cried or begged, it was just a nice friendly break-up.

Then there was the bad one... 

I haven't actually broken up with many people.  Most guys figured it out when they saw me on another guy's arm, but that was way back in the day when I was a rude kid.  I got married at 22 and luckily, since then, there have been no more break-ups.  I think if we ever split, though, it would be rational and friendly, not vengeful and mean.


----------



## Rikilamaro (May 24, 2012)

T.Allen.Smith said:


> Now, will she be open to lying to him or staging some event to possibly soften the blow? Will she throw out constant hits & clues that he never picks up?
> 
> When someone really cares about the person they are breaking up with I wouldn't think that they'd try to be too creative with the breakup. That's just cruel. If however, she has real reason to fear his rash action then maybe.
> 
> Just off the top of my head... Could you have her try to break it off repeatedly but unsuccessfully, eventually moving toward the other man anyway? Lots of conflict there.



Her basic nature won't let her be rude or cheat on him with guy #2. 
She's already tried dropping hints. He's not hearing it.
I need a scene that breaks them up with a small amount of drama, but enough that they have a reason to not speak for a couple weeks. I'm just having a hard time writing her as mean.

At this point I may twist Ani's comment and throw a completely unexpected punch in there. But I don't like guys that hit girls, or vice versa. It's not something I would want to advocate in my YA audience.


----------



## Caged Maiden (May 24, 2012)

In my own defense, if he hadn't shouted it at me, it wouldn't have happened


----------



## Rikilamaro (May 24, 2012)

Oh, Ani. We all do dumb things in our youth. Wasn't trying to be rude. Sorry.


----------



## Caged Maiden (May 24, 2012)

well one idea:

All those cute little charming things someone does when you meet can become very annoying later on.  Could he perhaps call her on a few of those things?  That's entirely appropriate for YA.

An annoying laugh, an obsession with something, jealousy, friendly banter which turns mean, clinginess, etc.  


I am editing my last post because like I said, it's extremely embarrassing.  Hope I could help a little, but my laundry is a little dirty...


----------



## Rikilamaro (May 24, 2012)

I appreciate the assistance! 

That's a good idea, but she would have to be the one to call him on it, and I don't think she has that in her. She's just being too wishy washy. Or perhaps I am. Either way it's not coming out the way I want it to. I hate being stuck on stupid stuff like that.


----------



## Caged Maiden (May 24, 2012)

hmm... wishy-washy isn't probably the best place to be.  It might not connect strongly with a reader, so maybe find a way to up the tension a little.  She can still be very nice, but maybe he finds her laugh annoying, and says it.  She is appalled, wondering why he's being mean, and he backpeddals, but she's already upset.


----------



## T.Allen.Smith (May 24, 2012)

I like where Ani is headed.

It might not be in her character but it certainly sound like he could be cruel in retaliation.

If the girl is the POV character then it is simple to show that her bluntly breaking it off (after many subtle attempts) is the best for both of them. He could show unexpected cruelty towards her mannerism or ridicule private thoughts she shared with him in the past. Perhaps he starts cutting her down about physical features she is insecure about.... Guys do this all the time to try keeping a girl by lowering their self-esteem, making them question their attractiveness to others. Despicable but true....

There would surely be plenty of material for them to avoid each other for awhile then.


----------



## Caged Maiden (May 24, 2012)

<- yeah when I was young, I used to push guys, just to see where they'd fight back, and some just let me completely walk on them, so I dumped them.  HA is that why my marriage has lasted so long?  My husband doesn't take any crap.  I've never had so much respect for anyone I dated.


----------



## Rikilamaro (May 24, 2012)

Well that's very helpful. Thanks ya'll.

I think I've got a workable scene now.


----------



## ThinkerX (May 24, 2012)

I almost included my tale, but thought better of it.


----------



## Kit (May 24, 2012)

anihow said:


> <- yeah when I was young, I used to push guys, just to see where they'd fight back,.



I've seen this a lot. 

Someone who wants to break up but doesn't want to have THE TALK will often pick fights about all sorts of stupid stuff.  Often they wind up poking the other person with their sharp stick to the point where the other person blows up and dumps THEM. That way they don't have to do the dirty work.


----------



## Rikilamaro (May 25, 2012)

ThinkerX said:


> I almost included my tale, but thought better of it.



Don't be a tease, X.
Share all the gory details!


----------



## ThinkerX (May 25, 2012)

> Don't be a tease, X.
> Share all the gory details!



I had it all written up, started thinking about it...and decided not to go there.  But...

Mine ended with my pregnant GF (by me) tracking down and marrying a guy who treated her like dirt for five years (ex-con who decided that a wife would look make him look good in the eyes of the law).  Saw my daughter maybe five times in the first five years of her life.

My brothers breakup was epic, involving her having nasty hallucinations brought on from taking the meds intended for her children - meds issued by the freaking school system.  Highlights (?) include her tearing apart their place searching for recording equipment, a hallucinated bear attack (a tale in and of itself), and the time she called up my Pa to inform him she had a gun at my brothers head - except my brother was over at Dad's place at the time, nowhere near her.  That took lots of expensive court visits to resolve.


----------



## Rikilamaro (May 25, 2012)

Hmm. Wow.

I don't think my characters will be going in that direction, but I appreciate the fodder for ideas, X. 

Aren't families grand?


----------



## dangit (Oct 26, 2012)

ThinkerX said:


> I had it all written up, started thinking about it...and decided not to go there.  But...
> 
> Mine ended with my pregnant GF (by me) tracking down and marrying a guy who treated her like dirt for five years (ex-con who decided that a wife would look make him look good in the eyes of the law).  Saw my daughter maybe five times in the first five years of her life.
> 
> My brothers breakup was epic, involving her having nasty hallucinations brought on from taking the meds intended for her children - meds issued by the freaking school system.  Highlights (?) include her tearing apart their place searching for recording equipment, a hallucinated bear attack (a tale in and of itself), and the time she called up my Pa to inform him she had a gun at my brothers head - except my brother was over at Dad's place at the time, nowhere near her.  That took lots of expensive court visits to resolve.



Sorry I shouldn't laugh:bounce:.


----------



## topazfire (Nov 2, 2012)

I don't think you need to write her as mean in order to have a break up scene. If she truly cares about him and he is a bit of a loose cannon, her being unordinarily mean may set him off. 

That being said, everyone can be a little mean in their own way, so hopefully you have written a well rounded character. Just something to think about: how do you write her when she is PMSing? I'm sure she (like all girls) can get a little mean then. Even if you don't actually write 'oh it's that time of the month', it is something to consider in the back of your mind. 

I have had both the 'I'm bored with you' break up as well as the 'I don't think this is right and I'm a little afraid of you' situation. Both are awkward, heart wrenching, frustrating, and a miriad of other things. At some point, what needs to be said, gets said, and as was noted above, it is the reaction that really shows how people move forward or not depending on their personality and feelings. 

Hope that helps a bit. I look forward to reading what you come up with!


----------



## psychotick (Nov 10, 2012)

Hi,

We live in the internet age and I hear tell there's these internet break up sites. I've seen them on some damned news show or another. You know the sort, you ask for someone to do the break up for you, and they send out someone with a break up card and maybe if you're really unlucky, a poem! Now that could be funny - especially when you can say things through a faceless internet site that you would never say face to face.

Cheers, Greg.


----------



## Reaver (Nov 10, 2012)

Rikilamaro said:


> LOL As a bonafide Trekkie I would have broken up with you too.
> 
> Lying to girls is always a bad idea. We always find out.



Only the uninitiated call us "Trekkies".  We're Trekkers and also, you don't always find out.


----------



## psychotick (Nov 11, 2012)

Hi Reaver,

I'm also a trekkie and proud of it. Trekkers is an alien term to me.

Cheers, Greg.


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne (Nov 11, 2012)

If you're fanatical enough about something that you need a specific term for it, you've crossed the line into religion.


----------



## Reaver (Nov 16, 2012)

By that logic then every society and culture in the world is a religion. This website and even writing is a religion too.


----------



## Sparkie (Nov 17, 2012)

Reaver said:


> This website and even writing is a religion too.



I write my prayer to you, Mythic Scribes, for you are my savior.


----------



## Jess A (Nov 18, 2012)

I have a habit of breaking people's hearts.  But I'm not a cruel person. It's not my fault people have fallen in love with me over years of friendship and I've rejected them because I don't feel the same way  

Can you give a bit more context to your characters? I suppose what usually happens after someone is rejected is them questioning 'why', and 'can we ever be together'. And denial. They just don't seem to get the bloody hint, even when it's not a hint, but a direct 'I don't feel the same way'. Then they might brood and sulk for a while. Avoidance. Awkwardness. Maybe he storms off and gets himself into trouble, and she has to save his arse. Or he tries to make her jealous. 

In my experience, sometimes I've been blamed for not feeling the same way or just feeling that the relationship isn't working. So that could cause a fight.


----------

