# Habits of a Former Catholic



## Tamwen (Sep 10, 2013)

Okay, I'm writing something and one of the characters is a former Catholic. I was just wondering if you guys could help me figure out what quirks or habits a former Catholic might have. Any turns of phrase or exclamations of irritation that are considered primarily Catholic? Any tendencies or reactions to things that one might attribute to a Catholic upbringing? For example, I was reading a story where someone was raised Jewish and tended to invite people like solicitors in for food, and it was noted by Jewish readers, or readers with Jewish relatives, that that was "Jewish" thing.


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## Guy (Sep 11, 2013)

Tamwen said:


> Any turns of phrase or exclamations of irritation that are considered primarily Catholic?


"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!"

I've been married to one for 22 years.


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## Sanctified (Sep 12, 2013)

It's cliche, but guilt is a big one. It's why people tend to leave the church. If you're brought up in a strict Catholic household and come to realize you're gay, bisexual, or have other irreconcilable differences with the church, you'd most likely leave -- and probably harbor resentment toward the church.

Lapsed Catholics also tend to make fun of the church and its customs.

However, it's not uncommon to see lapsed Catholics make the sign of the cross or appeal to God in tough situations. I wouldn't say it's hypocritical, more like habit. Likewise, most former Catholics will also respect clergy even after they've left the church.

Without a particular scene, it's difficult to offer up much else, but if you provide more detail maybe I can help.


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## Jastius (Sep 20, 2013)

French Catholics have 'sacre bleu' for Mary's veil. Irish Catholics have as was stated,  swear by the holy family. 'Grace preserve us' is another one. Catholics have a cross in the kitchen. Usually over or near the kitchen door. The priest would bless the home and the crucifix at that time to protect the family.  Even lapsed Catholics have a reflex to cross themselves upon receiving bad news, or perhaps seeing something terrible or horrible like a bad road accident. Sometimes they will say quietly or silently a 'Hail Mary' (prayer) upon receiving bad news or seeing an accident,(you will see their lips moving or their fingers twitching as  they count their imaginary beads (rosary beads). 'Holy Mary' or 'Saints preserve us' are a couple more exclamations.
Catholics eat fish on Fridays especially on Good Friday. They do not eat meat or chocolate or fats or drink alcohol during lent. Or get married during lent. They have a saints name from the rite of confirmation in the faith. 
Every catholic attends church at Easter and Christmas. Even if that is the only time they do go to church.  They tend to talk about their troubles. It comes from confessing all the time. They have an excellent jump reflex to get out of the way. Especially their hands because of those nuns with the rulers. Move fast enough and they only smack half a knuckle.  They trust priests because of the uniform and try and help nuns whenever possible. They tend to double think themselves because of the guilt thing.
And they visit the Donut shop or cheaper restaurant all dressed up after church to give mom a break from cooking. And that again is something they still would do on Sundays even if they don't go to church. Sunday diner is a big thing. the whole family together and a proper meal with a roast or chicken. 
Even if they don't practice, the girls are ... well ... picky about dating and tend to want to get serious before getting intimate. Just not casual about physical relationships. Contrary-wise the married men are very committed to their families... and their mistresses.
So they will clean up the house and the car completely so the family the house and the car are all in their Sunday best.
If your character is a nun or priest that has fled the coop, so to speak, there are other small personal rituals, such as getting up with the dawn for morning mass. And so on.


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## Trick (Sep 20, 2013)

Jastius, I think you may have been trying to be funny in some places and some things you said are accurate but you should rethink some of the comments you made. I am a Catholic and a well versed one. My entire, very large and far reaching family consists entirely of Catholics and ex-Catholics. Which, by the way, is what they are called by those who remain in the church. I won't say it isn't entirely derogatory but at least not always. 

If the OP can refine the question a bit and perhaps give a few particular examples I can give a lot of insight on this topic. Without that, I may go on for ten posts and bore everyone half to death.


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## Jastius (Sep 21, 2013)

i apologize trick for any offense i may have inadvertently given you.  i am a practicing roman catholic who completed her education within the roman catholic school system and is a member in good standing of the catholic womans league, and is an acting deacon at the church i attend. i have gone on five church pilgrimages, and attended the world youth movement several times including the last one given by Pope John Paul as a school trip. my immediate family are a mix of irish and french Roman Catholics and my extended family have italian and polish Roman Catholics in it. I have attended mass on both the coasts of my country, and in six provinces and eleven states throughout America.
Please don't hold sounding as if i mean to be funny against me... Canadians tend to be funny but they don't necessarily mean it.
i believe what you have taken offense with is my comment that Roman Catholic men are devoted to their families, which is entirely true. they are excellent husbands and good providers with a good moral compass. 
however it is also true that they tend to remarry after divorce. 
thirdly the average man does not dispose of one relationship completely until the beginnings of another have been established. many couples attending our marriage courses have one partner awaiting a legal disenfranchisement from their marital state.  i know these things because this is a small town and i have been going to the same church since i could stand up straight, while we have run through about fifteen Monsignors in the same time. while the father doesn't know the history of the couple i often do, but i am of the opinion that we as human beings are fallible and prone to make mistakes ... which is why we have confession and the blessing of forgiveness to begin with, n'est pas?   and as for the idea of good Roman Catholic men never succumbing to temptation... speaking from personal experience i have been continually approached by exactly nine very married very Roman Catholic men with families about less then noble pursuits, but i am a good little Roman Catholic girl.
as per your request i reviewed the comments i made and if there are any that you have taken especial exception to please let me know and i will most certainly attend to the matter directly. 
oh, and in case you are thinking that now i am in any way trying to be a smart mouth or argumentative, i am not. nor i am upset at you. my only intention in this reply is to assure you i did not intend to offend anyone, and to apologize for any inadvertent offense given. i am truly contrite. and please excuse me now as i have to walk to church as it is getting towards time for morning mass and need to get in early for the confession beforehand to explain this to the Priest.


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## Trick (Sep 23, 2013)

Jastius, I'm afraid you've started an argument with yourself and asked me to observe. I was not offended by what you said, I merely said you may want to rethink certain comments. Thank you for the detailed information about your life and the marital statistics... I don't recall having any need for such things but it was kind of you all the same. Lastly, I would like to point out that all people, of all faiths and both genders, succumb to temptations both large and small. If you've had experiences that have led you to believe otherwise, who am I to judge? I hope that your priest enjoys caustic sarcasm as much as I do.


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## Jastius (Sep 24, 2013)

Tamwen, there is one other thing about catholics, both acting and former. they will hold to a defeated argument long after it becomes irrelevant, in order to suggest that they were right to begin with. to do this, they react with sarcasm when they are in the wrong to prop up their overweening sense of self esteem. Their weapon is to suggest you are inferior in all aspects to their own personal ideology. i have learned over the years that it is like the movie 'wargames' the only way to win the game is to refuse to play.


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## Devor (Sep 24, 2013)

I think this thread has run its course.  I'm locking it.


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