# The purplest prose you ever did see



## Feo Takahari (Sep 30, 2014)

Found on a Livejournal called Bad RPers Suck, this was an ad for a game where everybody played as wolves:

The petite enchantress slinks out from behind the thicket which surrounds the outskirts of her land; frame bending, coiling and curving between the trees and foliage. As she comes closer you get a better look of her visage; an agathokakological beam plastered upon it, showing her 42 crimson stained ivories, her tympanums perked bolt upright, those radiating luminaires which seem to be sparkling golden with hints of caramel in hue pierce right through you. Next you direct your attention at her bodice, trying to read her body language; Is she here to kill you? Or simply curious? The alluring vixetta glides closer to where you are standing; her scapula move in sequence of each other, her powerful fulcrums bare scars along with the rest of her body, she is small yet you know she is not to be underestimated… Summus Tergum slants and curves as she perambulates even nearer, all with sheer elegance in her stride you prepare for your doom…Then she Parts her mandible from her maxilla, her salmon-hued ribbon beginning to vibrate as she starts to speak, her voice shocks you, it is not deep and cold like you expected, its like sing-song, sweet, gentle and warming with a risky edge.- ‘’Well, well, well.. You seem to have stumbled into our territory…’’ -Suddenly there is a low noise, it feels like the ground is shaking beneth your peds, it was a growl... You gaze around confused, only to find there are hundreds of pairs of occuli upon you.. The growling continues until the charcoal lupine before flicks her fifth appendage, in such a swift movement that it slices through the air, everyone falls silence the instant she does so.. The Alphess’ voice turns even more edgey as she speaks her last few words.- ‘’You better have a good reason for being here…. Or else we’ll savage you and feed you to our pups…’’ –Suddenly she turns cheery, before speaking once more.- If you do have an acceptable reason we will have no problems…’’ –A smirk beholds her features as she waits for a reply.-

What's the purplest prose you've ever read? Can you out-purple this?


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## Philip Overby (Sep 30, 2014)

_The Eye of Argon._ Google it. Read it. Embrace it. Love it.


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## Incanus (Sep 30, 2014)

I'm sometimes confused about just what purple prose is.  Often it just seems to mean all-around really bad writing (like The Eye of Argon).  But I think I see it applied to 'overly-colorful' or 'over-wrought' prose that is otherwise decent writing.  This latter category would probably include Edgar Allen Poe, an author many think of as quite excellent.


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## Steerpike (Sep 30, 2014)

I think some people use it to mean any highly descriptive prose, but that's not the way I use it. Some authors do dense, descriptive prose very well. To me, "purple prose" has a negative connotation, implying that something in the writing doesn't work well.


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## Incanus (Sep 30, 2014)

Steerpike said:


> I think some people use it to mean any highly descriptive prose, but that's not the way I use it. Some authors do dense, descriptive prose very well. To me, "purple prose" has a negative connotation, implying that something in the writing doesn't work well.



Yeah, this sounds about right.  Badly handled colorful prose is pretty painful.


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## Jabrosky (Sep 30, 2014)

I have this theory that good writing is fundamentally about effective communication. If a given sample of writing has the effect of confusing or tuning out readers, you've failed at communication. For example, thesaurus abuse (e.g. searching for obscure words like "amethyst" to reference purple) would confuse readers unfamiliar with the vocabulary you're quoting. Excessively detailed descriptions that slow the pace down would bore them. Of course the exact threshold points for when writing is overly descriptive or uses too many fancy words are subjective, but aiming for effective communication should always be your goal.


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## T.Allen.Smith (Sep 30, 2014)

Jabrosky said:


> I have this theory that good writing is fundamentally about effective communication.


I think that's s good way of looking at writing. 

There are many effective methods to write well. When it comes to description, it can be minimalist or incredibly detailed with lots of imagery. 

Purple prose, I think, is overly flowery writing where outlandish description does not effectively convey mood, a sense of cadence, or beauty. Rather, the words cloud the important aspects of the passage. 

Good description does powerful work, whether it's minimal or detailed. Good description has a positive effect on story and reader.


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