# Opening Scene...



## DianthasProphecy (Apr 25, 2011)

I know the opening scene is what the reader usually uses to decide whether to read your book or not. I'm stuck though. I have two partial possibilities but neither feel right yet. They both need....something. Something I'm missing. 

In your opinion, what are the important elements to have in the opening scene?


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## Fnord (Apr 25, 2011)

I tend to think of the prologue as the "opening scene" (that might be a tautology; are there fantasy books written without prologues these days?) and, as I mentioned in another thread, my favorite prologues introduce some conflict element right away as the foreshadowing for events later in the story.  Since a lot of fantasy stories tend to start introducing the main character(s) and can sometimes be a little slow to start in that regard, having some sort of action or intrigue prior to that seems to work as a good hook.  Of course, if the conflict is what introduces you to the main character(s), then maybe it's not as important.  But a good hook is a must!


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## At Dusk I Reign (Apr 25, 2011)

Personally, I don't think you need to open with the protagonist in peril or about to indulge in something which will invite peril (sorry Fnord!). A level of intrigue is enough, I believe: the reader needs to feel some reason to invest in the characters you've created. 

Of course, not knowing the precise details of what you've written leaves me at a disadvantage, but for what it's worth I'd suggest introducing some form of mystery; I've read far too many books where the author buries the reader under a mountain of information they don't need or want from the off. Readers of Fantasy are, by and large, quite intelligent. They don't need everything spelled out for them. Plant a seed in their mind and most will follow you willingly to see what grows.


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## The Realm Wanderer (Apr 25, 2011)

Haven't checked this place all day, but this thread seems like a good enough place to start 
For myself, the opening scene (or at least the first chapter as a whole) needs to have something happen that's worthwhile.
We don't read books to hear about your main charcter living a normal life, playing happily in their home village and doing chores. We as readers need something to happen, something that will keep us reading past the first chapter and possibly loving the book.
In my eyes, there should be something of a tragedy, even if it's not really huge. Perhaps a completely irrelevant character dies but the villagers' fear comes into play. Their emotions and actions would be pretty entertaining.
Of course as Fnord said, this is very often where the author would introduce the main character. This is at least what I would do but maybe give them a backseat to the action until a quarter, or half way through the first chapter. This way at least there's been something exciting early on to grab the reader, which will hopefully keep his eyes from straying.


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## DianthasProphecy (Apr 25, 2011)

Okay, how about this. This is one of the starters I'm considering. It's the most recently written one. After this the chapter will get into The Festival of the Sun, a village holiday. It's during the festival that someone is kidnapped.
*Please keep in mind it is all completely unedited! I haven't even run spell check yet. Oh, and some of the stuff, like The Empire with ? beside it I'm still not sure about.*
First, this is the basic plot. I still want to do some tweaking, some parts just don't feel right. 

Plot based around a sorceress who was imprisoned for stealing the souls of witches, using them to give herself and her lover more power. Their plan was kill off the Grand Master??? and his followers, and take over the Country. Anyone who would not succumb to their will had a Hunt called on them. During a Hunt, the Sorcerer and Sorceress sent their minions (The Vampires, who feed on the emotions and spirit of others) to track them down, and silence them for good. They planned to have the vampires become the dominant race, forcing the Seers, Witches, Necromancers and Nymphs into slavery. A group of notable witches combined their power to imprison the Sorceress in a tomb, frozen in time as a statue. The sorcerer, in a fit of rage, killed the witches before they could do the same to them. 

A prophecy was made many years later, long after the sorcerer was thought dead. The prophecy told of a girl, a seer born into a witch's bloodline, with power from both races and the talent to free the sorceress. If the sorceress was freed, it was told that in anger she would cause irreparable damage to the world, effectively culling the population. The sorcerer comes out of hiding upon hearing this prophecy, and begins searching for this girl. After 16 years of fruitless searching, one of his informants comes to him with news of the girl. Problem is, her full potential doesn't unlock until she is 18 years of age. He kidnaps her, and treks back across the country, deep into his own territory, which he calls The Empire??, setting traps to slow any pursuit. The girl's sister and a guard from their village leave out to retrieve the girl. They suffer many setbacks because of his "traps", but are joined by new friends along the way.


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## DianthasProphecy (Apr 25, 2011)

This is the possible opening:


Chapter 1

Festival of the Sun

_Her feet were battered and bruised, with blood beginning to well up in a few cuts the underbrush caused. She was running, searching for something. What she was looking for, she wasn't sure, but she knew if it wasn't found something terrible would occur. She reached a turn in the overgrown path, and somehow knew that what she was searching for would be just around the corner. Just as she turned the corner, an overgrown tree appeared right in front of her, blocking any path. Calypso dropped to the ground screaming, beating at the trunk of the tree. Malignant laughter echoed around her, the source of it unseen._

	Calypso jerked out of sleep, covered in sweat, her heart pounding.  The memory of the dream danced around in her mind. The same dream had been occuring for months. Just as she reached that turn, a tree appeared and she was surrounded by the laughter. Calypso shivered involuntarily at the thought of that laughter. She didn't have very strong precognitive abilities, but this felt real. For some reason she knew she would be face to face with her nightmare sooner rather than later. Shaking off the lingering effects of sleep, she got out of her bed. She quickly decided on a bath and headed towards the bathroom she shared with her sister.

	When she reached the bathroom, Calypso turned the water on and put her change of clothes on the cabinet. She caught a glimpse of her haggard appearance in the mirror, and sighed. Her hair was mussed and sweaty, and her eyes had dark rings around them. Pulling her eyes away from her reflection, she walked to the bath and sunk herself into the hot water. A satisfied sigh escaped her lips as the water calmed her mind and washed away the last thoughts of the nightmare. Moments later, she dipped her head beneath the water, then sat up to begin washing.

	Feeling clean and relaxed, Calypso passed through the living room and into the kitchen to eat. The house was still quiet, her mother and siblings still sleeping peacefully. The Festival of the Sun wasn't due to start for several hours, when the sun was at it's highest. Knowing there was no chance of more sleep, she decided to begin breakfast before she woke her family. Calypso set about getting the necessary utensils and ingredients.


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## Ophiucha (Apr 26, 2011)

The most important aspect of any opening is to make the readers turn the page, but not to be misleading. A good way to turn off readers is to open with a gun fight only for most of the book to be talk of politics and navel gazing. Open with something that is intriguing, exciting, but make it something that will linger throughout the entire novel. Make us want to know what's going to happen next, and make sure you actually follow through. Don't show us a badass character then kill them off in the Chapter Two.

To your opening, Dianthas, I would likely not buy the book on principal of it opening with a dream sequence, short though it may be. That is generally not regarded as a strong opening, and unless you think you really need it and are willing to work with it, it isn't the easiest thing to sell. I know more than a few agents who have said that the sight of "X woke up" in the first chapter ends in a rejection letter. Here's a good starter list of things to be careful with. I've found, speaking with agents and editors (and being an editor myself), that these sentiments are not uncommon, and more than a few are the norm.


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## DianthasProphecy (Apr 26, 2011)

Thanks for telling me that. I know how I want the book to go, but the opening scene is really giving me trouble. I've probably written 4 or 5 opening scenes in addition to those two. Thanks for the link as well, I'm going to check that out when my stinky little one year old takes his nap. (Sorry, he's being rather mischevious this morning.)

Anyone else have any advice on what kind of openings you look for in a book?


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## The Realm Wanderer (Apr 26, 2011)

Yeah I agree with Ophiucha. I'm really not keen of dreams as an opening. I don't think they work.


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## Ophiucha (Apr 26, 2011)

I think an opening should give us a good idea of what we are in for. Tell us what this book is in a way that also tells us why we'd want to read it. This, hence, is going to be different for every book. An example from a film, _A Nightmare on Elm Street_ opens with a nightmare (yes, I realize this contradicts the "no dream" rule, but as the entire movie is about dreams...) that shows us three things: a glimpse of our villain and his signature attack (the razor blade fingers), our protagonist Nancy, and the big gimmick of the film: if you die in your dream, you die in real life. Nancy wanders through a boiler room, is slashed at by Freddy, and when she wakes up, her night dress has slashes in it. It sets the stage.


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## ade625 (Apr 26, 2011)

DianthasProphecy said:


> The sorcerer comes out of hiding upon hearing this prophecy, and begins searching for this girl.



I would begin with this if I were you. It's well grounded in the plot of the story, and has potential to be emotionally charged, with the sorcerer possibly gaining a newfound determination after hearing that he can revive his lost love.

You could call that a prologue, and after that you can skip ahead to the catalyst event for the protagonist.

Of course, the character of the sorcerer, and his location have to be interesting enough to draw the reader in, but I'm sure that'll be no big problem. 

I agree about the dream thing, as it's a little overused. I need to be told there's something exciting going on in the plot before I see the waking rituals of the main character.


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## The Realm Wanderer (Apr 26, 2011)

Ophiucha, I don't think there's anything wrong with films starting with dreams anyway. Just books.


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## DianthasProphecy (Apr 26, 2011)

Okay, that does make sense, Ade, but I thought prologues were a no-no too?

I wasn't too sure about the dream opening either, I felt like all the openings I did were too bland, with nothing to hook a reader in with. I just wasn't sure what I should start with. There were too many options, it got kind of overwhelming.


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## ade625 (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm personally a fan of prologues, as they can provide an easy, interesting entry to the novel without having to first establish the everyday life of the main character. It generally depends on the novel, but since your story starts well before your protagonist is brought into it, it seemed like a good fit.

The fact is, many established authors use prologues in their work, so it's at your own discretion whether you put one in or not. Generally, the prologues I've seen introduce an interesting, yet quickly resolved conflict; set the tone for the story to come; have a general air of mystery (as others have noted) and introduce one of the main characters in the piece (though generally not the protagonist, and not one that appears until at least the second chapter).


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## The Realm Wanderer (Apr 26, 2011)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with prologues, and any who thinks otherwise should open their minds a little, I mean, we are writers after all


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## kiercoria99 (Apr 29, 2011)

As mentioned, within the first paragraph(s) you must "hook" your reader.  What this entails can be teaser info/statements that induce them to ask why or wonder what currently unknown circumstances have previously transpired to put you main character in said situation or to make such a statement or ask such a question.  It could be a flashback to or even a flash forward to a moment of choice from which all the events naturally flow - it should be a momentous event, not to state the obvious, but not the final event in most cases.  
Do not include unnecessary worldbuilding or description be it natural or character.  
Gain your readers interest and you can build up the above as you go along when a tight pace is not so important.    
I would ask - is the upcoming conflict going to happen at the Festival?  If so, then start there or start right before she gets there with inner thoughts and feelings regarding the festival and whatever conflict she fears occuring be she right or wrong on that front.  Even better if something she doesn't expect to happen does, in some cases.
If not, then move on to where the conflict does start and let that be your beginning.


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## Janga (Apr 30, 2011)

I agree with what has been said about opening a book with some intrigue or action. It makes sense to open on a high note to get a reader hooked right away, whether that be the opening chapter or the prologue.

More importantly, I think it's vital to a convincing story to convey in the opening pages that there is TIME in the story's universe. What I mean is,  the opening pages should easily convey that life for the characters was real and went on as usual before the opening scene. I have read many books where you do not get this sense, and the realism of the story really suffers as a result. I think a way to make sure there is believable time in a story is to not start a story from the beginning, but rather start it a third of the way through and allow the reader to catch up. Books that do this usually grab my attention and keep me turning the pages to not only find out what happens next, but what has happened before as well.


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## Donny Bruso (May 1, 2011)

I have to agree with Dusk, action is the most commonly used hook, but there are better ways to do it. Make the character behave in odd ways to normal stimuli, make them say strange things and refuse to explain them right away. I should clarify that by odd and strange, I mean within acceptable boundaries for the piece you're writing. Clearly you can't have your protagonist quack like a duck every time someone touches them. The point is you're trying to generate interest in your character, so make them interesting. That's all you have to do. (I know, it sounds so easy, at least until we try it.)
Perhaps your main character is a vampire who is hemophobic, or a werewolf who is allergic to dog dander/hair, or just flat out of their mind nuts. Not always a viable option, but it's usually fun to write.


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## DianthasProphecy (May 6, 2011)

Yes, the Festival is where the Sorcerer and some of his followers will attack and kidnap the sister. 
At the moment, I'm doing a lot of research, making notes, a brief outline, etc. The big thing I'm stuck on at the moment is the Vampires. They are the Sorcerer's followers, but they aren't umm....sparkly, or prone to falling in love with a human, then swearing off blood. In this book, they are soulless creatures. They have no humanity. I just can't think of the explanation for things like:
Do they feed on blood? Or something else from humans?
How are Vampires made? Bite, mutual blood transfer, normal reproduction, etc...

These are the hard questions I'm stuck on. 

Plus, a major thing on my mind is this: Because romance won't be the central aspect of the story, like many popular fantasy books, it won't appeal to many. This will be quest based, trying to recover the sister, then killing the sorcerer, etc. I know I plan to recover the sister in this book, I think I will wait to kill the sorcerer until the next. Or perhaps I should kill the sorcerer in this one, and in the next have others trying to free the sorceress. Or something else bad for the world. (for lack of a better way to put it.)

In other words. I'm stuck. I just like to flesh some things out beforehand. I don't plan to put all of the unnecessary details in the book, but I need to know these things for myself to really be able to write it without ending up with severe writer's block later.  I have to be able to visualize the world my characters live in, in order to write about it.

Does any of that make sense? Have any of you been there? Help???


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## JBryden88 (May 7, 2011)

I know how you feel somewhat. I'll get into the details of a story, but then realize I need to do more worldbuilding, which is why after several weeks of frustration I sorta went back to Square 1. I took what I originally did with the worldbuilding, cut out the fat, and started adding more meat.

Besides that though? Prologues or opening scenes are probably the most difficult. Everything I've written? That opening scene can dog you for weeks or even months. Hell, when I was 15 and wrote my 250 pages, it took me a month to figure out the start. After that month though, I was probably banging away at the keyboard for 6 hours a day on the weekends, and before I knew it, I was flying through what was at the time, a very generic story. But still, for 15, an accomplishment.

As far as your vampires go?

Give them another name. If you plan on using vampires, but you plan on going against many of the most annoying fads with them, give them their own identity. Point out that they are essentially vampires. Maybe even the common people call them vampires. But give them a real proper name.

Perfect example, is in my world's history, at the dawn of time, these nasty sorcerers enslaved the first humans. Now while the common people just call them "sorcerers" they were properly called "Vashiik" or something along those lines (don't have the document up right now.)

Come up with a "proper" name for your vampires, figure out some of the details, and keep going. Sometimes world building on the go works, sometimes it doesn't.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong:

The way you describe them, they have no souls, they follow the sorcerers. That alone, in non prose format, gives me a cool image in my head. I'm thinking of potentially foul looking creatures in robes, concealing their features, acting like "body guards."

If they are without soul, then they probably don't care about "sensuality" like alot of vampires seem to do in literature, even beyond just the book series/movie series I refuse to name. I could envision them tearing people apart limb from limb like savages if unleashed, or if their master commands them to just drain them dry and make it look like a natural death, then it is the master's call.

Without humanity IMO, and without the stereotypical features of a vampire, that alone makes for so many possibilities.


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## DianthasProphecy (May 7, 2011)

Honey, we must be kindred spirits. That is basically how I envisioned them in my head. I didn't have many details, but sensuality was not a part of their personalities. They follow blindly and kill without remorse. I'm researching old folklore and legends of Vampires now. They weren't always seen as sexy, or whatever, and that's what I want to go with. I mean, I'm sure at some point there will be some romance with one of my MC, but it will not be the center of the story. The books I grew up reading weren't "mushy". I don't want a book I write to be "mushy" either. I appreciate romance as much as the next girl, but dang! It's just getting ridiculous. 

(My fave movies are Hellraiser and The Lost Boys for goodness sake. Well, and The Notebook, I'll admit. I've forced my husband to watch that one a lot!)


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## JCFarnham (May 7, 2011)

I'll admit I didn't particularly read much of this thread passed page one, but what I like to do in an opening scene, is basically cut the crap and start with flat out action. You coooould have a character wake up and do the morning routine, or you could cut straight to getting into work and... being set on fire [or you know ... whatever it is people do these days haha]

If I don't start with action I like to start midconversation. Yeah, I'll probably get laughed out of here for confusing readers or something but I've always liked reading books which don't panda me and just cut to it you know?


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## tjwell01 (May 16, 2011)

An opening scene needs bring the reader into an active moment to keep the eyes stuck to the page. No dragging internal narratives. The scene can be any part of the story. Opening scenes work great for flashbacks, but only if you do it right. Give a glimpse but not the whole pie into your protagonist using tantalizing physical details like his body language, depending on your POV. The scene should be a microcosm of either a sliver of the story or the protagonist's theme.


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## gavintonks (May 16, 2011)

Best advice I was given you are competing against a video game for the persons time so make every single word count.


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## gavintonks (May 16, 2011)

What I did as well is I went to a book store and opened every book in the genre I was writing and read the first chapter, this way I had a reasonable idea of what is being published.


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## Starrynight (May 22, 2011)

Reading your post thought I'd offer an opinion, setting and chracters and what their story is introducing them and creating them in the readers imaganation. I try to do that with my stories. 

Starrynight


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## balthore (May 23, 2011)

Just a thought...your "vampire" chars sound a lot like what are called "Thrallings" (at least that is a term I've used before).  Someone totally committed to their Masters wishes and will do anything asked of them, very often without emotion or care for their own safety.

As for an opening...I'm somewhat struggling with that myself.  I've written a prologue for my story dealing with historical events that my story is based around.  I'm just not sure I like it.

It is a struggle getting that opening that grips your readers.  The best books seem to do it effortlessly, but we know it isn't an easy thing to do.


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