# How to write a romance



## Sir Tristram (Sep 17, 2014)

So today I (perhaps unwisely) challenged a friend of mine that I could write a romance short story better than she could.  All she reads is romance, which gives her just a _bit_ of an advantage.  There are no genre limitations, so that's a plus for me.  The question is, how does one write good, original, moving romance?
Thanks in advance.
Tristram


----------



## Calyb (Sep 18, 2014)

Have no supernatural elements whatsoever.
Please.


----------



## Feo Takahari (Sep 18, 2014)

There's more than one way to answer this, and more than one demographic to sell a "romance" to, but I see it in terms of character balance. What draws these lovers together, and what pulls them apart? Why would they be a good match for each other, and what must they overcome to be together? (The thing to be overcome can be framed as a villain, a social issue, or simply a personal conflict.)

To give more specific advice, I'd need to have a better idea of what kinds of characters you want to write about, and what draws them together.


----------



## Svrtnsse (Sep 18, 2014)

It's a pretty broad question - kind of like "how does one write good, original, inspiring, fantasy?"

My guess (and I'm currently writing a fantasy romance), is that you put a lot of focus on character, character interactions, and emotion. So to start with, you'd want a main character, a love interest, and a way for them to interact in order for "stuff" to happen.

I'm also remembering an old quote from somewhere: "People in love always try to be more attractive and appealing to each other - that's why people in love are so silly."
Take it with a pinch of salt, but keep it in mind so you can use it whenever appropriate.


----------



## Bortasz (Sep 18, 2014)

Simple:

- Read Harlequin Romance. 

You simple catch on that there is a Pattern in all of them. 

Also this:


----------



## Incanus (Sep 18, 2014)

Calyb said:


> Have no supernatural elements whatsoever.
> Please.



I'm wondering--why not?


----------



## Sir Tristram (Sep 18, 2014)

@Calyb
Don't worry, there'll be no vampire-demon-werewolf love triangles created here.


----------



## rhd (Sep 19, 2014)

I hate pop-romance, but then I might be fooling myself into thinking that the historical romance I read as a teenager were all about the romance and not about you know, costumes and period drama and pretty dresses and men in uniform and stuff. But mostly the characters went through hell, the author ripping them apart and stitching them into frankensteined versions of themselves and they STILL wanted to be together. More messed up the better, at least for me.


----------



## Jabrosky (Sep 19, 2014)

If the romance is the main object of the story, I would say the central conflict should be something that threatens the relationship and prevents the parties involved from being together at the end. For instance, Boy's imperialistic warmongering mother could want to conquer Girl's country and enslave her people, so Boy is forced to choose between the woman who raised him and the woman he loves. Alternatively, you could have some monster try to eat Boy, and Girl has to slay the monster and save him. The key thing is that the protagonists are motivated by love for one another and that the obstacles are what get in the way of their happily-ever-after.

Of course, even if the central conflict isn't about romance, you can still have Boy and Girl having the hots for each other and pairing up together. But then the romance would be regulated to a subplot.


----------



## psychotick (Sep 19, 2014)

Hi,

Just a thought, why not leave vampires and werewolves out of it? Thanks to a certain set of books I shall not name they've been effectively defanged and declawed. Why not go for something much more interesting - say a zombie and a girl?! Is there a zombie romance genre? When you think about it, it would finally make some of the tropes far more interesting. Things like - he truly loved her for her brains! Or she stared into his eyes, limpid pools of love with just a trace of ichor sliding down his face! And her turning her back on him in disgust and saying "bite me"!

Cheers, Greg.


----------



## Jabrosky (Sep 19, 2014)

I actually have on my Kindle Cloud a paranormal romance with Cthulhu as the male lead. Because I was curious as to whether someone would eventually get around to writing such a thing.


psychotick said:


> Hi,
> 
> Just a thought, why not leave vampires and werewolves out of it? Thanks to a certain set of books I shall not name they've been effectively defanged and declawed. Why not go for something much more interesting - say a zombie and a girl?! Is there a zombie romance genre? When you think about it, it would finally make some of the tropes far more interesting. Things like - he truly loved her for her brains! Or she stared into his eyes, limpid pools of love with just a trace of ichor sliding down his face! And her turning her back on him in disgust and saying "bite me"!
> 
> Cheers, Greg.


Why is it always the man who is the paranormal outsider in these books?


----------



## psychotick (Sep 19, 2014)

Hi,

Just following the established trope of those never to be mentioned books I suppose.

Cheers, Greg.


----------



## chrispenycate (Sep 19, 2014)

Just how physical do romances have to get nowadays? I've got a marriage of a dragon - not a shape changer or anything, a perfectly ordinary male dragon - with a human female. Obviously carnal relations are not on the menu, and she is spectacularly ugly, anyway, but still manages to bring offspring into the relationship.

But if it requires bodices ripped, they're not in the running.


----------



## Jabrosky (Sep 19, 2014)

chrispenycate said:


> Just how physical do romances have to get nowadays? I've got a marriage of a dragon - not a shape changer or anything, a perfectly ordinary male dragon - with a human female. Obviously carnal relations are not on the menu, and she is spectacularly ugly, anyway, but still manages to bring offspring into the relationship.
> 
> But if it requires bodices ripped, they're not in the running.


Honestly I've never understood the concept of romance without some form of physical attraction between the parties involved. Sure, you also need an emotional connection, but take away the physical aspect and all you really have is a platonic friendship.

And how would the woman bring offspring into a relationship if she doesn't do it with the dragon? Magical insemination?


----------



## Devor (Sep 19, 2014)

Sir Tristram said:


> So today I (perhaps unwisely) challenged a friend of mine that I could write a romance short story better than she could.  All she reads is romance, which gives her just a _bit_ of an advantage.  There are no genre limitations, so that's a plus for me.  The question is, how does one write good, original, moving romance?
> Thanks in advance.
> Tristram



First, a romance is all about the relationship arc and the way that arc affects the characters involved.  How do Jack and Jill react to the fact that they're getting closer or further apart?  How does it affect their growth as characters and the decisions that they make?

Second, the fact that you haven't read a romance is both a weakness and a strength.  Skip your first instincts about how to write a cliche romance, and jump right into your own vision of the way that a good romance _should_ be.  Your creative writing guts may or may not carry you through.


----------



## deilaitha (Sep 19, 2014)

I think that to write a really good romance, you need to write what defines romance in your own mind.  For me, a love story is all about the sacrifice of the lover for the beloved.  Love is not defined by positive emotions, but by actions--what someone is willing to do for another person.  There are warm and snuggly feelings that accompany that, but in the end, nothing hurts more than loving somebody. Love is defined as sacrifice. 

For somebody else, a love story might be centered around hot, steamy relations.  For another, it could be the idea of finding a missing piece.  

A "good, original, moving romance" must come from your beliefs about romance.  If you portray romance as something you don't really believe it is, your story will have no depth, originality, or ability to inspire others. 

At least in my opinion.  And, as I am fond of saying, "If you have my opinion and a dollar, you'll have one dollar."


----------



## deilaitha (Sep 19, 2014)

Jabrosky said:


> I actually have on my Kindle Cloud a paranormal romance with Cthulhu as the male lead. Because I was curious as to whether someone would eventually get around to writing such a thing.



Oh, god. 

Well, it's not a huge stretch. (Oh, lord--no pun intended!) Have you read Lovecraft's _The Dunwich Horror_? 



Spoiler: Major plot revelations



In it, Lavinia's children are the offspring of Yog-Sothoth, who is, while never explicitly described--is pretty weird and tentacled, if his sons are any indication. So, while Lovecraft may never have written _romance_ he certainly made it clear that, ah, "relations" were taking place.



Nevertheless, I feel like looking at Cthulhu would be enough to drive someone totally mad...thus making romance a little challenging. But that's just me. 

As for why it's always the male as the paranormal character in a romance?  I think that it is deep-seated in our cultural psyche--particularly the western cultural psyche.  I mean, you have the Greek mythology of Zeus always making love to (or assaulting, depending on how you see it) human women.  In Christianity, Mary is a regular human who becomes inexplicably pregnant due to the miraculous power of an omnipotent God (of course, there isn't any romance or relations taking place there).  In Islam, Mary becomes pregnant by the angel Gabriel. 

But, if you want an example of a paranormal romance where the _woman_ is 'supernatural' and the man is not, look to Tolkien.  Arwen, the elf, falls for Aragorn, the normal dude.  Luthien falls for Beren.  Melian falls for Thingol (though technically both Thingol and Melian are 'supernatural,' but since humans weren't around when Thingol and Melian met...)  Also, in _Beowulf_ you have Grendel's mother being the supernatural partner. (At least in the movie, to my shame, I have not read the original tales.)

Speaking of _Beowulf_ and Tolkien, did you see that Christopher Tolkien put out J.R.R.'s translation of and commentary on _Beowulf_?  Once the budget opens up a bit, I am SO buying it. 

Anyway, that's my take.


----------



## Jabrosky (Sep 19, 2014)

deilaitha said:


> As for why it's always the male as the paranormal character in a romance?  I think that it is deep-seated in our cultural psyche--particularly the western cultural psyche.  I mean, you have the Greek mythology of Zeus always making love to (or assaulting, depending on how you see it) human women.  In Christianity, Mary is a regular human who becomes inexplicably pregnant due to the miraculous power of an omnipotent God (of course, there isn't any romance or relations taking place there).  In Islam, Mary becomes pregnant by the angel Gabriel.
> 
> But, if you want an example of a paranormal romance where the _woman_ is 'supernatural' and the man is not, look to Tolkien.  Arwen, the elf, falls for Aragorn, the normal dude.  Luthien falls for Beren.  Melian falls for Thingol (though technically both Thingol and Melian are 'supernatural,' but since humans weren't around when Thingol and Melian met...)  Also, in _Beowulf_ you have Grendel's mother being the supernatural partner. (At least in the movie, to my shame, I have not read the original tales.)


I remember from high school that there was no hanky-panky between Beowulf and Grendel's aquatic mother whatsoever in the original poem (which was one of not many assigned reading pieces in my whole K-12 education that I actually enjoyed). She was pretty much another monster for him to slay. In fact when the movie came out I felt cheated that we didn't get to see Beowulf whoop water-monster butt.

My own guess is that today's paranormal romance usually pairs a normal woman with a paranormal man because those books are usually targeted at women. Of course female readers would prefer to have a heroine they can project themselves onto whereas the male character is the exotic love interest. On the other hand, Tolkien was most probably writing for a predominantly male audience, so it was his female characters who were exotic and the male characters relatable.

Not that I mean to criticize the trend. I am very much the same way when it comes to my own romances. I like my ladies exotic and my men to share certain characteristics with myself too.


----------



## Feo Takahari (Sep 19, 2014)

psychotick said:


> Is there a zombie romance genre? When you think about it, it would finally make some of the tropes far more interesting.



Is now a good time to mention how much I love Warm Bodies?

And yeah, romances with a single MC tend to have the "relatable" character be the non-supernatural one, with a few exceptions where both characters are different supernatural creatures (e.g. Hawksong.) The only nonhuman MCs I can think of who date humans are in _Warm Bodies_ and in _Blood and Chocolate_ (which is _really_ not a conventional romance, and which I don't recommend in the slightest.)

With that said, the love interest being different doesn't necessarily equate to being "exotic." Dag in The Sharing Knife is clearly supposed to be pseudo-Native American, but he's not fetishized or othered--he's simply from a different society than the woman he loves, which leads to cultural clash and conflict. I've also seen stories where both the MMC and the FMC are "main characters" who get perspective scenes and take an active role, like Night Magic or The Battle Sylph.

(I haven't read much American gay or lesbian romance, so I can't comment on that. Japanese gay romance could take up an entire essay by itself, but I'm not sure if anyone here would be interested.)


----------



## Incanus (Sep 19, 2014)

Jabrosky said:


> Why is it always the man who is the paranormal outsider in these books?



I hadn't thought of this, but currently, I'm working on a short story (probably running into 'novelette' territory) that centers around a 'supernatural romance'.  I guess I picked the more original form, because it is the female who is supernatural, while the male is an under-employed handyman-type in a small village.  It's likely not the most original plot in the world, but I'm having fun exploring it and learning from it.


----------



## Steerpike (Sep 21, 2014)

Good writing is good writing. I think you write it like you would any other story, except that the romance plot should be the main plot of the story. In a short story, it is very like to be the only plot. Your scenes, the character interactions, internal monologue, etc. should all be focused on the romance element.


----------

