# Help keeping my plot on track?



## Ireth (Dec 9, 2012)

I'm having some serious issues getting the plot to go in the direction I want it to go, and it's all my characters' fault. I'll explain it in brief:

-Olan, a young vampire, has left home and gone to find a new one. He finds Eilean Donan castle, sees that it's (apparently) empty, and decides to stake his claim on it.
-Aileen, a young ghost lingering in Eilean Donan, is not happy to have her home invaded by a vampire. In spite of the language barrier between her and Olan, they manage to work out a bargain, and Olan is allowed to stay in the castle for three days.
-On the evening of the second day, Olan finds Ciaran, an older blood-drinker. Ciaran is alone and traumatized after being violently blinded and dumped in the wilderness to fend for himself. Olan takes Ciaran to the castle to get him cleaned up, but there is a problem: Ciaran needs time to heal emotionally and physically, and Olan thinks Ciaran should stay in one place (i.e. the castle) so Olan can look after him, but to do so would break his word to Aileen. Ciaran is also reluctant to be there when Olan tells him of Aileen.
-Aileen sees the two of them in the castle and gets angry, demanding to know who Ciaran is and whether he plans to stay. Ciaran reveals to Olan that he is the one who killed Aileen some 150 years before, which is why he did not want to stay. He then tells Aileen his name, but she does not recognize him as her killer.

So, my dilemma is this: Olan and Ciaran both need to stay in the castle with Aileen in order for the plot to go where I want it, but it would go against character for Aileen to let them stay, or for either of the vampires to stay there against Aileen's wishes. Olan needs Ciaran to translate between him and Aileen, and Ciaran needs Olan to look after him as he recovers. But Aileen, who hates vampires (and with good reason), just wants them to go away. I want her to befriend the vampires, but that will take a matter of months, if not years, while they slowly build trust. That can't happen if she kicks them out. I'm not sure how to keep them all where I want them without it seeming contrived. The setting is also quite important to the later plot, so I can't just have them all move elsewhere.

Thoughts and comments are appreciated. Thanks!


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## flyfishnevada (Dec 9, 2012)

Seems like you've written yourself into a corner.  This is an opportunity.  Obviously, I don't know the entire plot and maybe you don't either, even if you think you do.  If you want Aileen to befriend the vampires, give her a reason to let them stay.  I know sometimes it seems characters write themselves, but you are in control.  Is she so intractable that she can't see Olan is trying to help Ciaran and allow him some more time to do so during which she sees something in him that she admires?  You want her to befriend them and this seems like an opportunity for her to do so or at least start the process.  Each problem or obstacle is an opportunity for your characters to grow and change.  That's really what stories are all about.


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## MadMadys (Dec 9, 2012)

Well I know some of this as I read your snippet between Olan and Aileen in the showcase forum not too long back.  Here are an idea I can come up with on the fly.  Obviously I don't know what plot points you want to go on with later so disregard any that go completely against a character's traits or other plots.

Perhaps Olan in someway tricks Aileen into helping them further.  If she has been lingering in the same place all these years she likely doesn't know what's going on outside her walls so perhaps Olan could invent something that either keeps them there for good reason or maybe as a threat to her.  Maybe ghosthunters are out and about and they look for abandoned buildings for spirits to cleanse so with them there they won't come knocking.  That would keep them their as sort of protectors, even if Olan just makes it up.  Then later he can apologize for lying and it tests the trust they've been building up.

Just an idea though!  Maybe it'll spark a better one for you!


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## Ireth (Dec 9, 2012)

flyfishnevada said:


> Seems like you've written yourself into a corner.  This is an opportunity.  Obviously, I don't know the entire plot and maybe you don't either, even if you think you do.  If you want Aileen to befriend the vampires, give her a reason to let them stay.  I know sometimes it seems characters write themselves, but you are in control.  Is she so intractable that she can't see Olan is trying to help Ciaran and allow him some more time to do so during which she sees something in him that she admires?  You want her to befriend them and this seems like an opportunity for her to do so or at least start the process.  Each problem or obstacle is an opportunity for your characters to grow and change.  That's really what stories are all about.



That is a very good observation. I'm not entirely sure how Aileen sees vampires, but I doubt she thinks they'd be willing to help each other like humans would. From her experience with them, which is limited pretty much to her murder, I would imagine she views them as little more than predators, much like a sheep would view a wolf. Watching Olan care for Ciaran may very well change her views, if she allows it to. If she chooses just to pretend they're not there, then obviously it won't work. And Ciaran is remorseful about killing Aileen, so if he manages to communicate that with her, it might help things along even more. Provided she listens, of course.


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## Ireth (Dec 9, 2012)

MadMadys said:


> Well I know some of this as I read your snippet between Olan and Aileen in the showcase forum not too long back.  Here are an idea I can come up with on the fly.  Obviously I don't know what plot points you want to go on with later so disregard any that go completely against a character's traits or other plots.
> 
> Perhaps Olan in someway tricks Aileen into helping them further.  If she has been lingering in the same place all these years she likely doesn't know what's going on outside her walls so perhaps Olan could invent something that either keeps them there for good reason or maybe as a threat to her.  Maybe ghosthunters are out and about and they look for abandoned buildings for spirits to cleanse so with them there they won't come knocking.  That would keep them their as sort of protectors, even if Olan just makes it up.  Then later he can apologize for lying and it tests the trust they've been building up.
> 
> Just an idea though!  Maybe it'll spark a better one for you!



Hmmm... not sure about this one, for a number of reasons. Olan doesn't seem the trickster type, and I want them to *build* trust, not keep it from building. Also, I'm not sure if there were ghost-hunters of any sort back in the 1360's -- people were more inclined to fear the dead and try to appease them than actively hunt them down. No Ghostbusters in this story. XD There will be a vampire hunter of sorts, but he won't come in until much later, after the three have already built up lots of trust over the course of about two years.


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## MadMadys (Dec 9, 2012)

Ireth said:


> Also, I'm not sure if there were ghost-hunters of any sort back in the 1360's



There weren't vampires or ghosts either but that's why we write fantasy!  Again, these 'ghostbusters' don't have to exist, even in your world, Aileen just needs to think they do.

As to my point about the trust, while it does seem counter to trust building, my thinking was this lie starts things off and as the months/years past and they all bond, Oran feels very bad about telling the lie and comes clean.  This then leads to a testing of that relationship they've built up.  Perhaps- this is me trying to save my idea- Ciaran convinces Olan to lie, or lies himself, and Olan is guilty of not stopping him.

But since that still may not work, let me see here.  Perhaps Aileen thinks Olan looks like her... favorite relative so she feels some sort of kindred connection after being alone for so long?  

Ciaren and Olan promise to leave soon, in a week, but then come a weeks time there is another reason they have to stay so it turns into a month and then another excuse and so on and so on.  As things go on, and they all grow close, the excuses get lamer but she accepts them anyway until they don't bother asking.

Just a few more for ya.


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## Ireth (Dec 9, 2012)

MadMadys said:


> There weren't vampires or ghosts either but that's why we write fantasy!  Again, these 'ghostbusters' don't have to exist, even in your world, Aileen just needs to think they do.
> 
> As to my point about the trust, while it does seem counter to trust building, my thinking was this lie starts things off and as the months/years past and they all bond, Oran feels very bad about telling the lie and comes clean.  This then leads to a testing of that relationship they've built up.  Perhaps- this is me trying to save my idea- Ciaran convinces Olan to lie, or lies himself, and Olan is guilty of not stopping him.
> 
> ...



The lying one would work a lot better if Olan were actually a skilled liar... though Ciaran could handle it, I suppose. But a week isn't nearly enough time to begin with -- Ciaran's eye sockets will take a long, long time to heal, and would even if he were human. Not to mention having to adjust to being blind, and dealing with serious PTSD.

Having Olan resemble Aileen's long-lost relative could be interesting, though it might fly in the face of her initial fear and anger at him. Also there's a different but similar scenario that'll come into play later -- Olan bears something of a resemblance to the villain's son (and is, in fact, the villain's great-times-nine-grandson. But neither of them know that). Dunno if I want to overdo that idea, even with the interesting possibilities for parallelism.


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## Kit (Dec 9, 2012)

What does Aileen want? What is important to her? Is there anything she wants that the vampires can do/get for her, in return for negotiating an armed truce and allowing them to stay?


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## Ireth (Dec 9, 2012)

Kit said:


> What does Aileen want? What is important to her? Is there anything she wants that the vampires can do/get for her, in return for negotiating and armed truce and allowing them to stay?



I think a lot of her basic desire is for companionship. She's been alone for over a hundred years, and even when the castle was full of living people, she was invisible and inaudible to them. Olan and Ciaran, being dead in a way, can see and hear her just fine. Trouble is, when they all meet Aileen finally gets the companions she wants, but they happen to be one of the things, if not THE thing, she hates and fears most. That's the gist of her internal conflict until she finally warms up to them.


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## Kit (Dec 9, 2012)

Sounds like a great conflict to me!   I say milk it!


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## Ireth (Dec 9, 2012)

Kit said:


> Sounds like a great conflict to me!   I say milk it!



I'll do my best. ^^ Might be tricky though, since the whole book is from Olan's POV, so we don't get to see Aileen's thought process or anything, just her actions and reactions.


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## flyfishnevada (Dec 9, 2012)

That can make for conflict in and of itself as Olan won't know her intentions except by action and words.  You can let that play with his emotions, keep him on his toes or even introduce more conflict as he misunderstands her intent.  I've used third person omniscient to describe action unseen by the POV character in 1st person stories.  Is your story 1st or 3rd person.  If 3rd, head hopping might help drive the story.


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## Ireth (Dec 9, 2012)

flyfishnevada said:


> That can make for conflict in and of itself as Olan won't know her intentions except by action and words.  You can let that play with his emotions, keep him on his toes or even introduce more conflict as he misunderstands her intent.  I've used third person omniscient to describe action unseen by the POV character in 1st person stories.  Is your story 1st or 3rd person.  If 3rd, head hopping might help drive the story.



*nod* Good idea. The story is in 3rd person; I hadn't intended to do any head-hopping, mainly because the character I'd be most inclined to hop into, namely Ciaran, has secrets that could spoil the story if revealed too early. They're tied into his very identity, so it's not just a matter of keeping him from thinking about them.


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## flyfishnevada (Dec 9, 2012)

Exactly!  Just because you're in someone's head doesn't mean they have to think about everything in their brain.  But they can drop tantalizing hints about the dark secrets they harbor!


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## Ireth (Dec 9, 2012)

flyfishnevada said:


> Exactly!  Just because you're in someone's head doesn't mean they have to think about everything in their brain.  But they can drop tantalizing hints about the dark secrets they harbor!



I suppose. But I'm not sure what I could have Aileen and Ciaran do by themselves when Olan is separated from them for several chapters, doing interesting plot-related things while they basically wait for him to return. Having them just talk about things might be a nice interlude between more action-packed chapters centered around Olan, but I'd have to keep it from getting repetitive somehow, or falling into the irritating trope of characters other than the hero always talking and thinking about him even when he's not around.


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## Leif Notae (Dec 9, 2012)

I think the thing I get from your synopsis is that there is a lot of faux conflict and no real true conflict that will force them together. You need a fourth, external force to keep these three together, even unwittingly.

EDIT: What you need is a long lost relative to force their right upon the castle. Give the relative all the reasons to be the villain here, and make sure he has thousands of men that will be at the castle within days. This will force them to work together and can make it so the three can resolve their issues. That's the best I can come up with off the cuff


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## Ireth (Dec 9, 2012)

Leif Notae said:


> I think the thing I get from your synopsis is that there is a lot of faux conflict and no real true conflict that will force them together. You need a fourth, external force to keep these three together, even unwittingly.
> 
> EDIT: What you need is a long lost relative to force their right upon the castle. Give the relative all the reasons to be the villain here, and make sure he has thousands of men that will be at the castle within days. This will force them to work together and can make it so the three can resolve their issues. That's the best I can come up with off the cuff



That's a possibility. I'm not sure how much historical accuracy I want to go for in a story with vampires and ghosts, but there is at least one major plot point that is a real historical event -- namely the arrival of the MacRae clan to Eilean Donan in 1362, almost two years after Olan and Ciaran get there. It is that which drives the second half of the book, by bringing the vampires into contact with a human who wishes to kill them, or reveal their secret to the other humans if he can't. In trying to silence the culprit, Olan chases him out of the castle, and that leads to him being taken to the underground vampire city, where the real villain of the story resides. Said villain is the one who had Ciaran's eyes burned out of his head, and coerced him into killing Aileen some 150 years prior.


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## Leif Notae (Dec 9, 2012)

Ireth said:


> That's a possibility. I'm not sure how much historical accuracy I want to go for in a story with vampires and ghosts, but there is at least one major plot point that is a real historical event -- namely the arrival of the MacRae clan to Eilean Donan in 1362, almost two years after Olan and Ciaran get there. It is that which drives the second half of the book, by bringing the vampires into contact with a human who wishes to kill them, or reveal their secret to the other humans if he can't. In trying to silence the culprit, Olan chases him out of the castle, and that leads to him being taken to the underground vampire city, where the real villain of the story resides. Said villain is the one who had Ciaran's eyes burned out of his head, and coerced him into killing Aileen some 150 years prior.



So then give MacRae a reason to arrive. This could be someone doing the investigation for him, to evaluate the castle and make it work for their needs. He has resources, and the villain in this story can abuse them. This way, he is a "mid-boss", and might even set up something for the future, even if you never use MacRae.


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## Ireth (Dec 9, 2012)

Leif Notae said:


> So then give MacRae a reason to arrive. This could be someone doing the investigation for him, to evaluate the castle and make it work for their needs. He has resources, and the villain in this story can abuse them. This way, he is a "mid-boss", and might even set up something for the future, even if you never use MacRae.



Maybe. I'll have to do some more research as to what originally drove the MacRaes (who are an entire clan, not just one guy) to Eilean Donan. One of the problems with historical accuracy is that I've completely omitted the MacKenzie clan, who in real life were inhabiting Eilean Donan prior to the MacRae clan's arrival, in order for Olan, Aileen and Ciaran to experience a couple of years of isolation and character development before the humans arrive and start making things difficult in other ways.

As for the vampire villain, I'm really not sure how much interaction he'd have with any humans in authoritative positions, since he sees them as little more than prey. And he already runs an entire city of his own, so claiming a castle aboveground probably wouldn't mean much to him. It'd just make it easier for humans to find and kill the vampires, whereas in the city they're underground and at an advantage. Doing something like holding the clan leader's wife/daughter/other important family member hostage to coerce the clan leader into acting might not work, for the above reasons.

In the first draft of the novel, the arrival of the MacRaes is a bit of an in-joke for those familiar with Scottish history. Regardless of whatever personal reasons they would have had for going to Eilean Donan, Olan inadvertently summoned them there when, in a fit of loneliness, he played his enchanted bagpipes while thinking about how he wanted someone else to talk to. That version of the story has Ciaran show up with the MacRaes, and his first meeting with Olan is very understated.

I opted for something more dramatic in the second draft, and introduced him much earlier because of the increased opportunity for character development, including the high probability for romance. I figured it would be more effective and believable to have their friendship and/or romance grow over the course of a few years, rather than the few months it takes in the first draft.

Having Olan summon the MacRaes in the second version won't work for a few reasons: a) Olan isn't as lonely as he was in the first draft, so he has less reason to summon people, whether accidentally or not; and b) the sound of Olan's bagpipes reminds Ciaran of the villain and is a trigger for his trauma, so he begs Olan not to play them, rendering the summoning impossible if Olan keeps his word.


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## Leif Notae (Dec 9, 2012)

Who says the characters have to have any involvement in bringing these people here? Remember, this character will have his own motivation too.

You have a way out, don't be too timid because you can't make it fit the corner you wrote yourself into. Run wild with it, let the things flow and see if you can get something going out of this change.


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## flyfishnevada (Dec 9, 2012)

Leif Notae said:


> Who says the characters have to have any involvement in bringing these people here? Remember, this character will have his own motivation too.
> 
> You have a way out, don't be too timid because you can't make it fit the corner you wrote yourself into. Run wild with it, let the things flow and see if you can get something going out of this change.



Agree!  Don't let your original story idea, outline, etc. keep you from exploring new ideas and story lines.  Iff you're first draft gets revised during edits, then surely your outline or story ideas can't be perfect.  They are a draft of sorts too and subject to revision.  Let the story flow and your imagination take over.  I fully believe that letting stories tell themselves in this manner leads to better stories.  Overly planned, massaged and edited work loses something.  Life isn't planned that well so why should stories about life be?


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## Ireth (Dec 9, 2012)

flyfishnevada said:


> Agree!  Don't let your original story idea, outline, etc. keep you from exploring new ideas and story lines.  Iff you're first draft gets revised during edits, then surely your outline or story ideas can't be perfect.  They are a draft of sorts too and subject to revision.  Let the story flow and your imagination take over.  I fully believe that letting stories tell themselves in this manner leads to better stories.  Overly planned, massaged and edited work loses something.  Life isn't planned that well so why should stories about life be?



I agree with you to an extent, but there has to be a line somewhere. If nothing is set in stone, then the whole story could change between drafts, and it'll be harder to know where to stop.


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## Leif Notae (Dec 10, 2012)

Perhaps that might be what the story needs. Now, i don't want to discourage you, but you are in a corner for a reason. The story might SOUND sturdy, but it isn't right now. I'd recommend looking up the Excel sheets for Save the Cat and The Story Fix. They can give you a clearer idea of the steps needed to salvage what you can, but don't fight scraping what you have and starting from scratch. Sometimes that is what is needed.


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## Ireth (Dec 10, 2012)

But I don't wanna start from scratch... *cuddles her darling* I've spent years on this story, even the first draft. I'm making a lot of changes right now, but there's a lot that I want to remain the same, too. The second half especially, but that doesn't mean the first half is going to be completely redone, just added to a fair bit.

*looks at her book and sighs*

Hm, never heard of those sheets. I'll look them up. Thanks. ^^


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