# What's the funniest research you've ever had to do for your fantasy novel?



## Ruby

Recently, I was writing a short story for a challenge here. I posted a question asking who a knight would take with him on a quest. Well, someone suggested that I read the Sword in the Stone by T H White and mentioned the Disney Cartoon with the same title.   

I misunderstood this, and thought he'd recommended that I just watch the cartoon as research. It's a very enjoyable film but it's a musical, comedic and not a very reliable historical source. However, I thoroughly enjoyed watching it.

So, what's the funniest, most unusual or interesting research you've ever done for your Fantasy novel?


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## Svrtnsse

Leg hair.
The hobbit-inspired anfylk race in my setting have very long hair on their legs and feet. At some point I ended up discussing various types of leg-hair fashion and different ways of braiding the hair on one's legs.


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## Malik

Horsemanship lessons at a stunt school. I learned how to do a backflip into a saddle.


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## A. E. Lowan

So far, the history of the BLT sandwich.  We have a character who has not been in the Mortal Realm since WWII, who very briefly mentions that it had not existed the last time he was here.  Being me, I had to make sure I was being accurate - not only in his statement, but in his perception of the statement, since this is his first time in the New World.

Yes, I'm just that crazy.

Eventually we're going to have me take handgun classes, because I'm not happy using hearsay and internet sources for something that features so prominently in our series.


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## buyjupiter

Medieval pubs in Prague. I found photos of a modern day pub, in a 17th century building (but it's probably far older than that), that had row after row of skulls over the bar. (I hope the skulls were fake...otherwise, ew.) There were fire eaters and jugglers and such in the pub performing, but it was the skull decoration that I loved so much. 

I used it as is description-wise, though I put my own twist on how the skulls got there...


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## Ruby

Svrtnsse said:


> Leg hair.
> The hobbit-inspired anfylk race in my setting have very long hair on their legs and feet. At some point I ended up discussing various types of leg-hair fashion and different ways of braiding the hair on one's legs.



Hi Svrtnsse,

I think this is hilarious! You obviously went one step further than JRR Tolkien with this!

Do they also have hair on the soles of their feet so that they have no need for shoes, as in The Hobbit?


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## Ruby

buyjupiter said:


> Medieval pubs in Prague. I found photos of a modern day pub, in a 17th century building (but it's probably far older than that), that had row after row of skulls over the bar. (I hope the skulls were fake...otherwise, ew.) There were fire eaters and jugglers and such in the pub performing, but it was the skull decoration that I loved so much.
> 
> I used it as is description-wise, though I put my own twist on how the skulls got there...



Hi buyjupiter, did the skulls inspire you to write the whole story? Did you, also, take photos of the pub? There has to be a back story to this!


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## Ruby

Malik said:


> Horsemanship lessons at a stunt school. I learned how to do a backflip into a saddle.



Hi Malik, after you learnt how to do this, did you give this ability to many of the characters in your books?


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## Gryphos

I once spent half an hour trying to research the lighter, and how in general someone in a 19th century aesthetic would light a candle. I ended up settling for something similar to 'DÃ¶bereiner's lantern' and got a few paragraphs into the scene the character uses it until I remembered that matches existed.


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## buyjupiter

Ruby said:


> Hi buyjupiter, did the skulls inspire you to write the whole story? Did you, also, take photos of the pub? There has to be a back story to this!



No, I needed a mood setting description as well as some foreshadowing and the skulls were just the perfect fit. I happened upon them while I was doing research (I've never been to Prague) looking for an interior of an old pub to base the description on. Why make it completely up when you have the internet and pictures?

Oh, and upon looking it up again, my bad, it was fire _juggling_ not eating. But still. Pretty darn intense. Here's the pictures if anybody else wants a look-see: 
Stredoveka Krcma (Medieval Tavern) - Prague - Reviews of Stredoveka Krcma (Medieval Tavern) - TripAdvisor


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## Devor

Trying to work on a project in a Viking setting, I spent time looking at Norse myths and legends, and specifically stories about doctors.  I came to a passage where someone was talking to his nurse, who was pulling an arrow out of his heart.  A white chunk came out, and he said, "My king feeds me well, I am fat even in the heart."  Then he died.


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## Malik

Ruby said:


> Hi Malik, after you learnt how to do this, did you give this ability to many of the characters in your books?



Only to one, because I wasn't going through all that for nothing. I also gave him the ability to backflip out of a saddle, which doesn't look nearly as cool and which I never quite grasped the purpose of.

Flipping into a saddle is a fairly simple trick; no more demanding than a skin-the-cat on rings. You just have to have a strong core, good hands, and an understanding horse. If your horse doesn't like it, she'll sidestep and drop you. Also, if she looks back to ask you what the hell you think you're doing, you might accidentally kick her in the face.

My series is a portal fantasy and the MC is a stunt man. He can do this on his riding horse but his destrier is too big and too dumb to put up with those kinds of shenanigans.

EDIT: I should point out, too, that I didn't take this course specifically for the book or to teach my character how to do this; I'm not that insane. I had been taking classes at the school and it came up that they had a guy coming in special to teach a master class on horsemanship.


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## Ophiucha

I've taken a lot of strange day/weekend trips to nearby cities for the sake of esoteric museum or garden visits. I went all the way to Portland once in my first year of college because I wanted to know how a particular cheese tasted and they didn't sell it in Vancouver. I felt this was justified, since my main character's hobby was cheesemaking, but still, it was like a 6-hour train ride.


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## Motley

Yesterday I was researching the Victorian era opinion on masturbation and came across some rather horrible looking metal contraption men would wear to prevent them from doing it.


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## Shreddies

Hmm, Hirsutism and the reproductive cycle of squid.


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## Ruby

Thanks for all these interesting details about your research. I decided to set the time travel novel I'm writing in Victorian England and I learnt that there was toxic arsenic in the wallpaper.   Children who chewed the wallpaper would die; rich people couldn't understand why they felt so ill in their own houses but fine when they stayed at the seaside. Their rooms were damp and the warmth from fires released the arsenic into the atmosphere. Arsenic was even in William Morris' designs. Also, the corsets women wore could permanently damage their ribs and was the cause of fainting and breathlessness.


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## Shreddies

Ruby said:


> Also, the corsets women wore could permanently damage their ribs and was the cause of fainting and breathlessness.



Yup, and the 'wasp waist' style of corsetting was so severe that it would rearrange their internal organs and could cause severe health issues.


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## hots_towel

im not exactly sure how "funny" this is but i was doing research for a scene where the characters are just having lunch and talking (i really like those light hearted scenes). i had to look into restaurants and food service in late medieval/renaissance times, or even roman times. 

interesting to learn that few people back then had kitchens to prepare food, so they always ate out or bought it to go.


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## Malik

It bears mentioning that fantasy writing was a totally different game twenty years ago, when there was no Wikipedia, YouTube, or Google and you had to call the reference desk at the library several times a week. . . or figure it out yourself by trial and error.


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## Chessie

Some of the neatest research I've done was on 1700s Russian short swords and daggers, renaissance Italian bakeries, and herbalism in the 1600s.


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## Noma Galway

When I first started my WIP, I wanted to know what would happen if you threw a knife into an electrically charged field. My antagonist had created a lightning ball, which would have pulled electrons from the surrounding atmosphere, meaning the surrounding atmosphere would have a very high positive charge. So I asked my high school physics teacher what would happen if a neutral-charge knife was thrown into this positively charged atmosphere. It took thirty minutes for him to try to figure out what I meant, and then he said he didn't know. That scene doesn't exist anymore, but it was fun to research.


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## Ruby

The funniest research I've done this week was for a flash fiction story I wrote in the ABC Fantasy thread. The word prompt was "ill".

I wanted my Monsters from outer space to be wearing pink, green or blue furry romper suits. I imagined them as looking like Teletubbies. For this I researched babygro and babygrow to get the correct spelling. Since posting the story, I've been told they're called 'Onesies' these days so I've just researched this. I still think the monsters are wearing giant babygros. 

Btw the story was supposed to be horror but when I reread it I realised it's a comedy.


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## psychotick

Hi,

In Guinea Pig I had to find a way for angelic DNA to be available for a mad scientist to use. My solution was a to use Russion Orthodox monastory where the friezes were done with divine inspiration in the form of a paint brush made from the hair of an archangel. It was fascinating looking at the history of the particular monastory and the actual friezes themselves, and then blending together the known histories of their painting with my own somewhat creative version.

Most difficult part of the whole thing was that I didn't want to tred on any religious toes, so I left a message on a / the major Christian forum asking if anyone from that faith could take a look at the book and see if it caused any offence. That was three or four months ago. Still waiting for a reply.

Cheers, Greg.


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## Addison

My research succeeded and turned out a hundred times better than I could have wanted. One was fora  fist fight scene, the other for an underwater scene. My research was for the fist fight went well as I tutored, with my kid brother. As we were finishing up our round I was helping him get one glove off and the little snot swung his other fist into my head. After that we went into a house-wide, wild yet friendly fight.  The underwater scene wasn't as painful. Swimming at a friend's favorite swimming hole I spent a lot of time underwater, swimming through the palnts, rolling against the rocks. In another dive I found a small cave, AWESOME. Later at the lake I was walking after the missing Barbie-jet boat and fell into an underwater hole. DEEP hole! Cool, but deep. So I know what it feels like to get the crap beat outta you and how it feels to discover new worlds.  If you've never been swimming anyplace but a pool or shallow ocean, you haven't been swimming.


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## Lohengrin

Sewers. More specifically Roman Sewers.
 It all started when I was discussing about Lord of the Rings with a friend about how idealized it was, which lead to the topic of Elfic waste... When I started thinking about my own book this came back to my mind, and being a perfectionist I couldn't ignore such an important topic, right....?
 So in my spare time between classes at college I would research about sewers, and how to make my cities not stink. This eventually started another research about roman aqueducts that in turn started another research about a home heating system that the romans used. All this because of a joke about Elfic waste.

 Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me xD


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## Hagan

Old languages and lettering.  I was trying (and failing) to describe dead languages scrawled onto walls of a tomb being walked by a character who had never seen things like Sanskrit or Pictographic storytelling before and ended up making a mess of the section. I used my own ignorance to help with the writing as I did the research, but test reading said it left the whole thing reading a bit flat.  Abandoned soon after.

It still makes me wonder at times whether the ancient stone masons and artisans got so good at carving life like statues was because they didn't want to spend all their time carving those letters into stones for prosperity "Sorry mr philosopher, can't put your treaties into this slab of rock for you, I'm busy making sure these marble boobs are 'just right'. Maybe next month."


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## Addison

I recently experienced two different researches, one on accident and the other was more fun than funny.
The fun one was baking related. After baking cakes, brownies cookies and pies I decided to try candies and such. I made some jelly/chewy candies, some hard candies. So then I found a pie that had a soft candy top. Making candies is fun! It smells weird and good at the same time. Bubbles catch in the mix so it looks like old stained glass. It comes in all varieties and can be beautiful as a truffle or as a little petite four. But it does get friggin hot really fast. I'm telling you, drop a bit of hot mix on your hand an you won't forget for a while, my wrist is still a bit red. Fun but painful, mostly fun. 

The accidental one was thanks to my dog. I take them for a walk every day before dinner. Living next to the best trail north california has to offer, it's terrific for everyone. There's a river at the end of the walk and the dogs splash around, drink, cool off and such. Last night she went across the river after a critter. Well the silly mutt got her collar stuck in a bush and couldn't get free. So I went across, completely forgetting that the river had holes. I don't mean holes you trip in. I mean holes that you sink and splash to your head. I got a little stuck, thankfully my dog broke loose and helped me out. So that research helped me learn a real heart in your mouth "holy crap!" moment and what if feels like to go from  nice and warm to bone cold. 

Dogs are a writer's best friend.


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## stephenspower

1. How do you sex a dragon?

2. For two characters on a desert island, how do you make a still out of bamboo and pomegranate? Sadly, I had to scrap that bit.


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## A. E. Lowan

stephenspower said:


> 2. For two characters on a desert island, how do you make a still out of bamboo and pomegranate? Sadly, I had to scrap that bit.



The original way - let the sugary juice ferment in the fruit.  Skip the bamboo.  Half-rotten fruit has been getting monkeys, and our ancestors, sloshed for millennia.


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## psychotick

Hi,

Just out of curiosity - how do you sex a dragon? I mean do you have to lift up the tail to look?

Cheers, Greg.


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## psychotick

Hi,

Actually you probably could make a still out of bamboo. The main problem is to make sure the flame / heat doesn't touch the wood. So I'd probably use a big flat rock underneath the boiling chamber, then apply the flame to the underneath of the rock. The bamboo could work well as condensor coils (well tubes). I'd probably wrap material around the outside of them soaked in water to cool them. Of course your main problem is that without a thermometer  and pressure gauge you don't know what you're distilling, i.e. how much alcohol vs how much wood alcohol (methanol). Get it wrong and you'll go blind.

Cheers, Greg.


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## CupofJoe

What makes a Fat-berg...
While I worked as a drain survey technician [yes that was a real job] for a few months I had an idea about a sewer living folk and the obstacles that might cause their society's demise... Aligators, flushed down the loo, giant rats etc. and then I found out aout Fat-bergs and after that it didn't get very far because I kept feeling ill.


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## Ruby

Hi,

I've been doing some funny research this week, trying to find a suitable name for my MC's dog. The MC's French and has a poodle named Fifi. I decided I wanted the dog to be male. I kept changing the dog's sex around and looking for other French dogs' names. Then, I thought, maybe the MC is just a contrary sort of person and would give her male dog a female name.

I solved the problem today: the dog has been murdered. 

This has moved the plot along nicely. I now need to get her another dog.


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## Snowpoint

I've done a lot of reading on Turkish shadow puppets.

And the Stone city of Petra. Stone Cut architecture is fascinating, until you realize, you can just as easily make building out of the stone you remove to carve the city in the first place.


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## A. E. Lowan

Ruby said:


> Hi,
> 
> I've been doing some funny research this week, trying to find a suitable name for my MC's dog. The MC's French and has a poodle named Fifi. I decided I wanted the dog to be male. I kept changing the dog's sex around and looking for other French dogs' names. Then, I thought, maybe the MC is just a contrary sort of person and would give her male dog a female name.
> 
> I solved the problem today: the dog has been murdered.
> 
> This has moved the plot along nicely. I now need to get her another dog.



This reminds me of two of our characters.  They spend many years in a dysfunctional cycle of getting together and breaking up, only to do it all over again.  During their break-up periods they mess with each other.  They can't stay away, but they're angry, so they pull pranks.  One of hers is placing a wedding announcement for him in his alumni newsletter, inviting them all to join him in celebrating his marriage to his new spouse - Mitchel.  She is a talented graphic artist and to print in the newsletter she puts together a lovely wedding picture of her (at this point) ex, a very attractive "Mitchel," and "their" Pomeranian, who has a teddy bear cut and is dressed in a tuxedo.  He is named in the announcement as "Smoogie."

Years later the couple gets therapy and settles everything out.  He gets a dog.  You can guess what she names him.


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## stephenspower

Like a snake. The character uses a sliver of bamboo to check a newborn dragon for either a hemipenis or cloaca.


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## psychotick

Hi,

Ugh! That sounds painful! And if I wouldn't feel safe doing that to a snake, why on Earth would I do it to a dragon? I mean snakes only take small bites right?

Cheers, Greg.


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## Chessie

Last night, I read all about the invention of matches...and realized that the time period for their arrival was way after the era for my stories. Sigh. Magic it is. But it was still really fun to read that lighters were invented before matches (who would've thought). And then I read about the history of what people smoked in their pipes, etc. Rather interesting, especially when you consider what a pain it was to light your pipe if you didn't already have a fire going lol.


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## Ruby

Chesterama said:


> Last night, I read all about the invention of matches...and realized that the time period for their arrival was way after the era for my stories. Sigh. Magic it is. But it was still really fun to read that lighters were invented before matches (who would've thought). And then I read about the history of what people smoked in their pipes, etc. Rather interesting, especially when you consider what a pain it was to light your pipe if you didn't already have a fire going lol.



Hi Chesterama,

Funnily enough after I read your post I realised that, as one of the characters in my WIP smokes a pipe, I also need to research this!

My story's set in 1899, Victorian England, although the smoker is French. I've just done some research on pipes and matches but couldn't find much information except that matches were invented in about 1830 and that the later safety matches contained phosphorous which caused bones diseases. They were also dangerously flammable.


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## Chessie

Yeah, interesting to know that matches were invented later than the Victorian era! Magic, Ruby. Its the only way to light that pipe.


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## psychotick

Hi,

Actually the way to light a pipe would probably be with a small brand around the evening fire. Tobacco in the middle ages was rare and even those who smoked it would not have smoked it continually. So a pipe in the evening would probably be as much as would be smoked. As for the fire itself it would probably have been lit with flint. There's a lot of evidence that prior to and during medieval times people used to carry around a small piece of metal / steel and a small flint stone quite commonly and if you have some dry moss etc, it's by far the quickest and easiest way to light a fire. The set of flint and steel is referred to as a striker or fire striker and would have been carrie around in a little tinder box.

Cheers, Greg.


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## stephenspower

That's another thing I researched: tinder boxes. Late in my novel three characters are in a dark alley. They want to light a candle.  Then I thought, Wait, how? It was quite a process, I discovered, using a tinderbox. Then I had to go through the rest of the novel and make sure there was always flame integrity. 

Re matches, the dragon in my novel breathes a substance that catches fire on contact with the air. A character speculates that if he could reduce the substance to a paste, dry a glob on a small stick, and cover the gob in a sealant that could later be abraded away, causing the paste to ignite, he would quickly become the wealthy hero of sculleries and maids everywhere. But that sentence was so convoluted, I took it out.


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## Ruby

Chesterama said:


> Yeah, interesting to know that matches were invented later than the Victorian era! Magic, Ruby. Its the only way to light that pipe.



Hi Chesterama,

Lunstrom invented a safety match in 1855.    But you're right, lighters were invented before matches. The covers of cards of matches were used for advertising from 1894, so I think my character would be able to use matches.


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## Ruby

psychotick said:


> Hi,
> 
> Actually the way to light a pipe would probably be with a small brand around the evening fire. Tobacco in the middle ages was rare and even those who smoked it would not have smoked it continually. So a pipe in the evening would probably be as much as would be smoked. As for the fire itself it would probably have been lit with flint. There's a lot of evidence that prior to and during medieval times people used to carry around a small piece of metal / steel and a small flint stone quite commonly and if you have some dry moss etc, it's by far the quickest and easiest way to light a fire. The set of flint and steel is referred to as a striker or fire striker and would have been carrie around in a little tinder box.
> 
> Cheers, Greg.



Hi psychotick,

Thanks for this. By a brand, do you mean a taper?

My smoker has come to England from France in 1899. Presumably, tobacco would have been available in France at that time? I wonder if it would have had a distinctive smell different to English brands. He's a would be assassin, so the smell of his tobacco could be an interesting plot device.


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## Ruby

stephenspower said:


> That's another thing I researched: tinder boxes. Late in my novel three characters are in a dark alley. They want to light a candle.  Then I thought, Wait, how? It was quite a process, I discovered, using a tinderbox. Then I had to go through the rest of the novel and make sure there was always flame integrity.
> 
> Re matches, the dragon in my novel breathes a substance that catches fire on contact with the air. A character speculates that if he could reduce the substance to a paste, dry a glob on a small stick, and cover the gob in a sealant that could later be abraded away, causing the paste to ignite, he would quickly become the wealthy hero of sculleries and maids everywhere. But that sentence was so convoluted, I took it out.



Hi Stephenspower,

Thanks for mentioning tinder boxes. I had forgotten about them.

I'm also researching gas light and electricity. I'm not sure what colour gas light would have been. An interesting fact I learnt was the gas lights were placed high up facing towards the ceiling so often Victorian rooms would have been quite dark.


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## stephenspower

"The dog has been murdered": That's funny. You could so an anthology on that theme.


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## Ruby

stephenspower said:


> "The dog has been murdered": That's funny. You could so an anthology on that theme.



Hi stephenspower, 

The dog has been resurrected. This will save the MC from having to train another dog. 

Of course, this may confuse the murderer...


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## psychotick

Hi,

Yes, brand or taper.

Cheers, Greg.


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## Ruby

I'm doing some funny research today, trying to work out how many footsteps across the internal floor of a time machine would be. It's similar to Doctor Who's but bigger.


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## Spider

Lol, this is a fun thread!

When I first started pursuing my novel, I had a character who was cursed with the body of a scorpion (kind of like a weird centaur). I had to research a bit of scorpion anatomy, and upon discovering that a scorpion's anus was on its tail, the idea fell apart. I couldn't have him pooping on his back, nor could I ignore this vital piece of information!

It's a pity, but I'm pretty glad I changed my MC. I was initially trying to make my character stand out, but in doing so I focused more on his appearance than his depth and complexity as a person... er, beast. Now, I'd much rather write about a character who's defined by his actions and words rather than by the way he looks.


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## Malik

I just took a class on medieval dance. 

I hope to never be seen with any of those people in public.


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## TheokinsJ

Wierdest thing I've ever researched: How did a knight relieve himself when he was in his armour. When it takes an hours to get into your mail and plate, it'd be quite a wait if after all that, you needed to go to the toilet.


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## Addison

Scary-funny research today. We've been getting some big wind up here, and a bad rumor of snow tonight. But while I was playing with my dogs at the river a HUGE bellow of wind came at us. But, across the river was a lot of sand and dirt, but the world disappeared when this wind carried all of this sand across the valley. I grabbed for the dogs, spitting out sand, eyes squeezed shut as we squatted down to wait it out. With all the wind it lasted a few minutes.


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## Ophiucha

Today, I found the downside to writing feminist fantasy in historical-inspired settings. I have spent a lot of time today googling menstruation in Ancient Rome. Wouldn't recommend it. Horrifying images.


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## Ruby

Today I'm researching poodles: where they originated, when they first had their fur trimmed into the distinctive style, why people are less allergic to them than other breeds. They originated in Germany but are usually thought of as French dogs. They are good hunting dogs and worked in circuses which suits my story very well and the breed was standardised in France, which also fits into my plot. They suffer from some conditions such as hip displaysia and Addison's disease. They are intelligent and trainable. 

I looked up the fur style because I've drawn an illustration for when my MC finds the poodle dead and needed to see if the fur in my picture was historically correct. I think it's fine.


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## Ruby

Ophiucha said:


> Today, I found the downside to writing feminist fantasy in historical-inspired settings. I have spent a lot of time today googling menstruation in Ancient Rome. Wouldn't recommend it. Horrifying images.



Hi Ophiucha,
This is an interesting subject. How do we deal with this if we're writing historically correct fantasy and our heroine is female and not a child or middle aged? I was even unsure about my MC's dog being female!


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## Legendary Sidekick

I am seriously considering (and in fact, have started writing) taking my goofy band of Virgin Goddesses (Athena, Artemis, and Hestia) and writing it. So of course, there can't be any Spinal Tap satire... it's three heroines in a magical world with powers I don't really need to explain because, well, they are goddesses.

Anyway, there's a Greek vs. Norse (Norse wins) premise which basically forces Artemis and others to walk among mortals. It's a Greek goddess' POV, but I needed a reason for the Norse gods to sack Olympus. Zeus is reason enough, but I wanted to know how Artemis should feel about his loss of power.

So, Zeus is a [insert family-unfriendly word or phrase here]. That I knew. What I didn't know is the line he crossed with Artemis, and it was the typical philandering. I think shape-shifting in the form of his own daughter to impregnate her friend is about as low as you can go. That was the point where I thought, yeah, Zeus needs to get his butt kicked!

Less funny, but pleasant: Artemis is quite likable. I didn't want Athena as the MC because she's too well known, making her automatically awesome. Artemis is much like other characters I've written, making it easy for me to stick to one first-person POV through the whole story.

I'm enjoying researching Greek and Norse mythology as well, and hope to gradually introduce some of the more obscure gods and goddesses from both. Elli is the Norse goddess of old age. Somehow, I love her name being Elli. Wasn't Aunt Ellie the old lady from _Vacation?_​ The one strapped to the roof of the family truckster?


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## Ophiucha

Ruby said:


> This is an interesting subject. How do we deal with this if we're writing historically correct fantasy and our heroine is female and not a child or middle aged? I was even unsure about my MC's dog being female!



I usually kind of gloss over it in the same vague way that most writers gloss over using the loo, but my current story has _seven_ women in it who are under 50 and over 12 travelling together and it seemed like it'd be an oversight to not at least consider how they would deal with this. Particularly since one of them gets pregnant at one point and I'll probably have to mention them missing a month.

My research told me too things: one, PMS jokes are as old as language itself, and two, we have made great innovations in feminine hygiene technology. Rolled up sheets of papyrus paper, or cotton wrapped around a twig. Sometimes with herbs and honey on the stick to soothe cramps, which... seems like it would cause other problems down the road. Or just bleed everywhere.

Which, in a group of seven women, actually _does_ seem like it'd be something to think about. The amount of spare cotton sheets they'd need to be carrying with them for more than just a quick bandaging wouldn't be a minor consideration. Particularly since they are in hiding, on the road, for about five months.


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## Michelle Ann

I spent hour researching brewing in the middle ages and was delighted to discover that the vast majority of it was done by monks, thus invoking images of very drunk monks behind their respectable facade. I'm trying to work it in to my story.


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## A. E. Lowan

Michelle Ann said:


> I spent hour researching brewing in the middle ages and was delighted to discover that the vast majority of it was done by monks, thus invoking images of very drunk monks behind their respectable facade. I'm trying to work it in to my story.



One thing to bear in mind about the majority of alcoholic beverages that were commonly consumed (as in household consumption) was that they fell into the classification of what is know as 'small beers.'  Small beer has a much lower alcohol content than what we are accustomed to now a days, and it is why we are shocked when we hear that children regularly consumed alcohol, and still do in many parts of Europe.  Small beer was simply safer to drink than water.


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## Ruby

Last night, I wanted to draw an illustration for my WIP and had to research what a Victorian gentleman wore. I drew the character wearing a frock coat as that's the first thing that came up on the internet. As he was indoors, I did not include his top hat.


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## SeverinR

psychotick said:


> Hi,
> 
> Just out of curiosity - how do you sex a dragon? I mean do you have to lift up the tail to look?
> 
> Cheers, Greg.



You should introduce yourself first. They might bite you like a flea, before they realize who you are.

Then again, if you read that question the other way, it might get a little perverted. "Once you go scaled you're never the same again."


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## Shreddies

I've recently looked into what kind of chemical reaction would be required for a plant to launch its seeds or nuts like a cannonball. I mean, why bother with birds and animals for spreading seeds when you can fire them off yourself! Or drive away pesky predators with an organically grown lovechild of an acorn and an AK-47.

I _could_ just start applying hefty doses of Handwavium, but where's the fun in that?


----------



## Kennith E Perry

The weirdest was when I was doing research for a character who has different sexual fetish's. I was reading on some and could not believe what some people are into! There are men who actually enjoy pooping and peeing in their pants! Some like to dress like babies and wear diapers and others just go in their pants...ON PURPOSE! That was the weirdest and grossest thing I've ever read.


----------



## Ruby

I'm researching villains and found I had a copy of 101 Dalmatians by Dodie Smith, so I started rereading it.

 Now I'm watching a DVD of the Disney cartoon. Interestingly, Cruella De Vil is quite different in the cartoon to the way she's depicted in the book. The best part of the cartoon is the beginning before the two dog owners meet. The book starts with them being already married.

Have any of you watched cartoons as research for your book?


----------



## Jabrosky

Ruby said:


> I'm researching villains and found I had a copy of 101 Dalmatians by Dodie Smith, so I started rereading it.
> 
> Now I'm watching a DVD of the Disney cartoon. Interestingly, Cruella De Vil is quite different in the cartoon to the way she's depicted in the book. The best part of the cartoon is the beginning before the two dog owners meet. The book starts with them being already married.
> 
> Have any of you watched cartoons as research for your book?


There was a book?


----------



## Aspasia

Edwardian undergarments. For some strange reason I decided to set my alt-history-with-magic story in Edwardian England, but had no concrete idea what the clothes looked like. It's actually really cool the way underskirts, petticoats, and bustles have evolved over time (and has made me very, very thankful that modern clothing is not nearly so uncomfortable!). I'm usually a strict invented world epic fantasy writer, but had an urge to write an amusing spies and magic story. Never thought I'd be doing this much research for this! Thinking of making my main character was a seamstress (and a spy! exciting ), so lots of fashion/clothing research to come, probably!


----------



## Ruby

Jabrosky said:


> There was a book?



Hi Jabrosky,

Yes, the book was published in the 1950's. There's also a sequel called, The Twilight Barking.


----------



## Shreddies

Ruby said:


> There's also a sequel called, The Twilight Barking.



Sounds like an alternate ending to a certain vampire series.


----------



## wordwalker

Don't get me started on _101 Dalmations_. The book is a fun little treasure (even if it doesn't show how the two couples met); the movie tries but doesn't come close. Especially it was the big start of Disney dumbing down and camping up its villains-- they didn't like the showing they'd just had with _Sleeping Beauty_, and who'd ever remember a witch like Malificent?


----------



## Ruby

Hi wordwalker,

 I agree with you. The book, The Hundred and One Dalmatians, has a lot more depth than the cartoon. For example, in the book, Cruella has a little husband who is a furrier. He has adopted her surname of de Vil.

 Mrs Dearly remembers Cruella from school and says she was scared of her and that Cruella always had a white and a black plait. 

In the cartoon, Cruella just appears at their house.

 Also, in the book, Missis (Perdita in the film) has  been rescued by Mrs Dearly after being mistreated by her previous owner. She's already had a litter of puppies.

When books are made into films they are always altered. Look at what they did to the Little Mermaid, Roald Dahl's The Witches,(they changed the ending) and what about The Hobbit!


----------



## Trick

Ruby said:


> When books are made into films they are always altered. Look at what they did to the Little Mermaid, Roald Dahl's The Witches,(they changed the ending) and what about The Hobbit!



Not to mention Eragon! what a S...t storm!


----------



## wordwalker

True enough.

Most of adapting any book is finding where to trim a few hundred pages down to 100-ish minutes--

_unless you're Peter Jackson!--_

and I'm used to that. It's a microcosm of the whole writing process; merging characters like Perdita and Missis into one are just re-choosing where to emphasize. In fact, the film's still a pretty good glimpse into the canine world and general fun of the book... 

Except Cruella. The original was very much in the spirit of the Evil Queen and other elegant villains both before and after golden age Disney. She had the dogs honestly wondering if she might come by the name "deVil" literally. Irony of ironies, she made it to Disney just in time to get... well, it's a case study of how to undermine a whole movie with a weak villain. Or at least "kiddify" it with someone who might startle the younger kids with her rants but never risk the kind of age-crossing chills a proper enemy might stir up.

(Then again, since her scheme was the nastiest "kick the dog" ever, maybe a Malificent-level villain would have made the movie too dark for even the grownups. Tough call.)

Someday I'll do a proper blog post on that, but my takeaway is: for most styles, *your story can never be any better than your villain*.


----------



## Ruby

Hi, 

I haven't written on this thread for a while but, in a moment of weakness ie procrastination, I was messing around with an app and started a cartoon about a vampire who's been turned into a pig by an inept witch. So now I'm busy researching vampires and pigs.

I suppose pigs will eat most anything.

 Then yesterday, the vampire turned a bit scary...


----------



## EMoon

Funniest research question?  Artificial insemination in dogs (if you want to make your vet fall over laughing when you call, ask the vet questions about your fictional animal situations.)  

Funniest research activities?  Talking neighborhood kids into carrying around long cane poles so I could see what mistakes recruits would make most often in drilling with polearms.   Learning to use a scythe (while wearing a dress and high heels.  Because the person who knew how was at church.   And yes, I had the scythe in the back of the car.)


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Ruby said:


> what about The Hobbit!


What happened to The Hobbit?

I remember when I was a kid, there was a Hobbit animation. That was my first introduction to *book ≠ film*. When asked how many (dwarf) survivors, Gandalf replied, "Seven. Soon to be six." But in the book, only three dwarves died. And Filli and Killi lived in the cartoon.

My wife won't sit through 10 hours of Hobbitness, and if she's not into it, I won't bother seeing it myself. It's not a spoiler if you tell me what Peter Jackson did differently.


----------



## Queshire

Well technically it would be since people who haven't seen it but intend to could happen upon this thread so might be best to take that to PMs or something.


----------



## Shreddies

Legendary Sidekick said:


> What happened to The Hobbit?



I don't think these count as spoilers, so:

One of the largest changes he made was adding a new female elf character in the bit with Mirkwood (Captain of the guard, iirc). The inclusion of Legolas makes sense, in my opinion, since his father was the king, but it seemed like the only reason for him to add the guard character was to have a token female in a cast entirely of males. (And to have her and Fili (or Kili, can't remember) be a bit flirty).

Bombur also did not fall into the river in Mirkwood, falling asleep and losing his memory of recent events. Instead Jackson had Kili (or Fili) get poisoned, and the new guard character run to his aid in Lake-town.

He also changed the characterization of the Dwarves in general and the reasons for their quest. Thorin was the most heavily affected. Jackson also included an orc named Azog who had a vendetta with Thorin, so he was chasing them for most of the trip (providing the running fight scenes). And also the Arkenstone was changed from a gem of incredible value, to a sign of kingship (which is why Movie!Thorin wanted it. To unite the Dwarves and take back their home).

Smaug's weakness was changed from a gold and jewel encrusted belly with one spot unarmored, to a scale that was knocked loose by Bard's disgraced ancestor.

The affect of the ring on Bilbo was increased significantly, and Bilbo's talk with Smaug was changed entirely (the ring decided to stop working at one point, so Smaug saw Bilbo and was chasing him around a bit). And the Dwarves were made to fight Smaug in the mountain.

There were some things mentioned in the book that he fleshed out, such as Gandalf dealing with the necromancer. He handled those segments quite well, as far as I could tell, but the changes to the characters themselves bugged me to no end.

The ninja wood elves were fun to watch though. 

Back on topic:
I recently looked into what kind of poisons tribal cultures would use with their blowdarts. Kinda creepy how dangerous some of the frog secretions are. Cheap and easy to apply though. Just rub your dart on the frogs back.


----------



## Shreddies

Didn't mean to double post, but it's been a while.

I was recently looking into punctuation (its history and origins) and ran across this little gem of a name: Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!

And yes, it's a real town.


----------



## Ruby

Shreddies said:


> Didn't mean to double post, but it's been a while.
> 
> I was recently looking into punctuation (its history and origins) and ran across this little gem of a name: Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!
> 
> And yes, it's a real town.



Hi Shreddies, 

Thanks for posting that. Fact can be stranger than fiction!


----------



## Ruby

Legendary Sidekick said:


> What happened to The Hobbit?
> 
> I remember when I was a kid, there was a Hobbit animation. That was my first introduction to *book ≠ film*. When asked how many (dwarf) survivors, Gandalf replied, "Seven. Soon to be six." But in the book, only three dwarves died. And Filli and Killi lived in the cartoon.
> 
> My wife won't sit through 10 hours of Hobbitness, and if she's not into it, I won't bother seeing it myself. It's not a spoiler if you tell me what Peter Jackson did differently.


Hi Legendary Sidekick,

I think @Shreddies has pretty much answered your question.

What I would say is, if you've read and like The Hobbit, don't expect the film(s) to follow the original plot.


----------



## wordwalker

Shreddies said:


> Didn't mean to double post, but it's been a while.
> 
> I was recently looking into punctuation (its history and origins) and ran across this little gem of a name: Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!
> 
> And yes, it's a real town.



So we finally know where the Joker's really from.


----------



## Ruby

I wanted an original name for the Academy of Magic that features in my WIPs; so I closed my eyes and typed on the iPad to see what I got. After several attempts I typed a name I liked.

Then I researched it on the internet to make sure no one else had used the name, and they haven't.

Of course, there may be a reason why it's not been used before!


----------



## Ermol

Typing in "Can fish smell?" in Google.


----------



## Ruby

Today, I'm having to research where people slept in medieval times ie did they have separate bedrooms? 

The princess in my WIP has been taken to a nobleman's house. I've discovered that people slept together in the great hall as there were never enough bedrooms for all the servants and other staff who worked in rich establishments.

Also, the concept of having one's own room to sleep in, let alone one's own bed, is a relatively modern one.  Travellers and children were often invited to share beds.

Of course, as my WIP is a fantasy and I've created the world it's set in, I've given the princess her own private bedchamber. 

I'm also researching bedroom furniture and whether noblemen would have houses resembling castles.


----------



## Hananas59

When I made my nessisaurids (A family of reptiles that will once be shown) I found out that bioluminiscent things (like the bulb of an anglerfish) are actually quite strange in their biology. I've seen a lot of strange types of biolumiscent fish.


----------



## ALB2012

I had to research eating salamanders.  Giant ones, which spit flaming rocks.  It turns out you CAN eat them, but trust me, you don't want to.


----------



## Ruby

Today I'm doing research for my parallel medieval world WIP. 

While finding information about castles and drawbridges, I discovered that people of this period rarely washed or changed their clothes. 

Most notably, they threw the contents of their chamber pots into the castle moat.


----------



## Scribe Lord

^Speaking of castles and filth, I was researching when I came across the Siege of ChÃ¢teau Gaillard where apparently the enemy infiltrated the inner bailey by climbing the toilet chute. Just goes to show the critical importance of Toilet Guard Duty.


----------



## Shreddies

Not research per se, but I ran across the origin of the term 'sandwich' recently. It's named after the 4th Earl of Sandwich, John Montagu, in the 18th Century. Apparently he enjoyed eating 'meat tucked between two pieces of bread' because it let him continue playing cards while eating, and not get the cards all greasy from the meat. 

The bit about the cards is probably a myth. But just think, we have an Earl and cribbage to thank for the succinct term 'sandwich'.


----------



## Tom

I've brewed my own catnip and willow bark tea. It's supposed to help against fevers. Really, all it does is leave a terrible taste in your mouth.
For a steampunk project, I've also asked by physics professor if you can ignite a gaslamp using the same type of firing-pin mechanism found on rifles. He said yes, but that it could blow up. Good point.
One time I tied a rope to an arrow and shot it from my recurve bow. That was for a scene where my MC has to string ropes over a twenty-foot-wide creek so he can cross (the water is poisonous). Needless to say, the arrow didn't go very far. I'll have to try it again with a stronger bow.


----------



## Shreddies

I recently heard reference of Mongols using silk vests to stop arrows and, having never worn a silk shirt, to my shame, I thought it sounded a bit fishy. So I poked around a bit and found out that the incoming arrows would not break the silk, but instead end up imbedded in the body wrapped in it, then the arrows could be removed by teasing the silk open. Neat.

After I had read that I was wondering if there were examples of older societies using fabric as armor, and to my delight I discovered Alexander the Great may have worn a type of laminated linen armor. It functioned much like Kevlar, using the fabric's flexibility to disperse the force of the oncoming arrows.

Anyone know of other unusual uses of fabric as armor? (I've already read up on gambesons.)


----------



## Tom

The Vikings used fabric armor quite frequently. If you couldn't afford chainmail or leather, a coat of padded fabric would pretty much be your only option. 

Also, in modern sport fencing, the primary protective gear is a fabric jacket, usually with a sort of undershirt beneath it called a plastron. Both are usually nylon, and have to be able to stand up to a blow from a broken foil. If you're beating it up, a foil will sometimes snap during a bout, and before gear was regulated there were incidents of people getting seriously wounded or even dying from being stabbed with one. Not something you want to think about, going into a tournament.

Hope this is useful!

(Also, I adore your signature. More people need to take its advice.)


----------



## wordwalker

One thing about silk armor is that I believe they were worn under a layer of hard leather-- so it isn't just that silk is tough, it's that the leather slows the arrow down first and then the silk tangles it. (Look for some of Malik's articles; most armor is about piling on layers anyway.)

Similarly, when you hear about the Chinese "paper armor," remember it's paper coated with a particular resin. It's another light material that's stronger than you think, when it's arranged the right layers, but works best when it also has something hardening or screening it.


----------



## Xitra_Blud

I don't know what the funniest is but the funniest thing that happened for me is I learned to play chess. xD


----------



## Gryphos

I had to do surprisingly extensive research on creating topiaries. All because for some reason I decided one of my characters was an avid gardener.


----------



## Ruby

Today, I was busy writing my NaNoWriMo fantasy which is set in Victorian Britain. 

A character had to unlock a door and I suddenly thought, "Did they have padlocks in Victorian times?" and then, 

"Who invented the first padlock?"

Well, the short answers are, "Yes," and "padlocks date back to the Roman Era." (500BC - 300AD) Source Wikipedia 

so it had better be right!

The trouble with writing historical fantasy is you have to research absolutely everything!


----------



## Tom

No kidding. That's why historical fiction is not my cup of tea. For my one and only historical fantasy, I had to research whether knitting was known in the Viking world. Answer: no, but they had a knotting technique that closely resembled it. 

Has anyone ever done difficult/dangerous research?


----------



## Ruby

I'm researching vampires for a novel/graphic novel/cartoon.

 I thought this would be a standardised topic but vampires seen to vary a lot. Eg they don't always sleep in coffins; they don't have to be allergic to sunlight or be killed by crucifixes. 

I didn't realise that you can more or less make up your own rules.  For example, try comparing the vampires of Stephenie Meyers with those of Anne Rice and Bram Stoker.


----------



## Tom

Ruby said:


> I'm researching vampires for a novel/graphic novel/cartoon.
> 
> I thought this would be a standardised topic but vampires seen to vary a lot. Eg they don't always sleep in coffins; they don't have to be allergic to sunlight or be killed by crucifixes.
> 
> I didn't realise that you can more or less make up your own rules.  For example, try comparing the vampires of Stephenie Meyers with those of Anne Rice and Bram Stoker.



Real vampires don't sparkle....All I'm saying.

I'm currently doing a vampire story too, and I decided to make mine science-based. It's hard finding reasonable explanations for a creature bursting into flames on contact with sunlight.


----------



## Ireth

Tom Nimenai said:


> It's hard finding reasonable explanations for a creature bursting into flames on contact with sunlight.



Maybe a more extreme type of xeroderma pigmentosum?


----------



## Tom

Ireth said:


> Maybe a more extreme type of xeroderma pigmentosum?



That's what I settled on. It seems very in-line with the vampire myth. Perhaps it's the origin of the sunlight element in vampirism.


----------



## Nimue

Porphyria has also been linked to historical "vampirism", as it causes photosensitivity, madness, and all sorts of nasty skin/gum/hair related problems...

Edit:  Also, according to this article, "in principle, it is possible to relieve the symptoms of porphyria by drinking blood--another possible link with the vampire stories." !  I'm not sure how reliable a source that is, though.


----------



## wordwalker

Tom Nimenai said:


> That's what I settled on. It seems very in-line with the vampire myth. Perhaps it's the origin of the sunlight element in vampirism.



There _is_ no fatal-sunlight element in vampirism, historically. (At least not in the better-known root myths; again, there's just a lot of myths to choose from.) There are scenes in _Dracula_ where the Count walks around in daylight, with no problem except his magic being weaker. I tend to think of vampires like this as having the same problem with daylight that jewel thieves have: they just don't want to be seen.

Sunlight was grafted onto the vampire legend when the movie _Nosferatu_ hit legal problems with the Dracula book and needed a new ending-- and suddenly "everyone knew" vampires burned in sunlight. It fit so well with a lot of other legends (many ghosts, for instance)... but these days more and more writers are looking for a slightly human vampire and trying to back away from that. _Twilight_ was just the most reckless example.


----------



## Ruby

Can vampires be in the sun without dying
is a link to an article I've just found which states that, historically, vampires were not allergic to sunlight.
Hi @wordwalker,
Thanks for answering my question. I'm reading Anne Rice's, "Interview with A Vampire", and there are variations amongst the vampires described in her books.
Next on my list are "Dracula", and the "Twilight" books.

Again, this demonstrates that Fantasy writers need to do loads of research!


----------



## Ireth

My Celtic-based vampires can and do go in the sun without dying; direct sunlight affects them differently depending on whether or not they've drunk human blood, and if so, how much. Vampires who haven't drunk human blood are unaffected; those who have are revealed as hideous winged demons, with their appearances being more or less human depending on how many times they've drunk human blood.

Vampires in my new contemporary WIP are the "burst into flames" type, not as a lack of research, but to differentiate them from the humans and intensify the division between the living and the undead. It's discouraged for humans to be out of doors between sunset and sunrise, and likewise for vampires between sunrise and sunset. One of the main characters is a dhampir, half-vampire and half-human; as such he is an outcast who doesn't belong to the day or the night. He has many "classic" vampiric weaknesses, though to a lesser degree: garlic makes him nauseated, and sunlight affects him in the same way it would a human with xeroderma pigmentosum (see my link above). He has no trouble with religious symbols though, and the rule that "a vampire can't enter a private residence unless invited" doesn't apply. He just gets a strong feeling of "you don't belong here" rather than being physically barred from places.


----------



## Nimue

Celtic-based vampires?  What stories/folktales have you based them on?  I'd love to read that!


----------



## Ireth

Nimue said:


> Celtic-based vampires?  What stories/folktales have you based them on?  I'd love to read that!



They're not based on any one folktale, more on a certain character and a general idea. In a nutshell, vampires were created by the Crone Goddess Morrighan after a certain nobleman drank his wife's blood, believing it would counteract the poison he'd recently drunk by accident. Since he thought to save his life by drinking blood (which ultimately killed his wife), the Crone curses him to survive eternally by drinking blood. As a vampire, he is harmed by iron (much like the Fae are, but to a lesser degree); and once he starts feeding from humans (which quickly starts driving him insane, mainly because his first victims are his best friend and his second wife), sunlight reveals his corrupted nature. The only way for a vampire to become human again is for him to sacrifice himself out of love for another, and for said sacrifice to be avenged by his loved ones.

I do kind of acknowledge other vampire-like creatures in Celtic lore, like Baobhan Sidhe; the first vampire, while pondering what he's become and trying to put a name to it, thinks of the Baobhan Sidhe and says "well, I know I can't be one of them. They're Fae, and all of them are female. I'm neither." Female vampires, when they start to appear, are not called Baobhan Sidhe either; though there is some resemblance, they are still distinct beings.


----------



## Ruby

Hey Ireth,

I didn't realise you were writing a book about vampires. It sounds great!
I must admit, mine is comedic - a cartoon about a love story involving a teenager, some vampires and an inept witch.
I've kind of got into this genre by accident. Hence the need for research now.
BTW, I didn't know that vampires can't enter a place of residence without an invitation. Can you remember the source for that?


----------



## wordwalker

Ruby said:


> Hey Ireth,
> I didn't know that vampires can't enter a place of residence without an invitation. Can you remember the source for that?



I don't think there's a particular source for that. It's a common European saying about evil spirits, especially the Devil, and it's an obvious moral about not giving evil a foothold on your life. (Or not trusting a stranger, which peasants thought amounted to the same thing.)

Research in myths is a tricky business. When you're researching facts like horsemanship or a specific period, any mistake can cost you. But for myths, sometimes you only need a general sense of what's out there and then you can make up your own; vampires are very much like that. (For instance, I think when in doubt it's better to say they do have problems with the sun: it's not the original version but it's what readers relate to. And that was even before you had to worry about "being soft on Twilight.")


----------



## Tom

I resent the ugly dent that Twilight has put in the vampire mythos. When I first created Will, the protagonist of my vampire story, I wanted him to be the opposite of almost every trait Meyer's vampires have. Gradually he's evolved his own personality and abilities, but I'm trying to stick to the central idea of "this is not Twilight". 

I really like the Celtic vampire myth too, Ireth. I don't base my vampires on the myth directly, but I do reference it in a few ways. One of my vampires is a two-thousand-year-old Irish chieftain, and he prays to the Crone Goddess, believing that "she has made me what I am, and if I pay her homage she may have mercy on me". 

I think it's interesting that almost every culture around the world has some sort of vampire myth. What could it mean? Are vampires perhaps based on a real creature that's now extinct? Could vampires be based on a disease, like porphyria, that occurs in every population? Or could the vampire myth be an ancient, ancient story that was carried with every culture as the human race spread around the world?

Lots of stuff to think about.


----------



## wordwalker

Vampire legends are common, alright. But most cultures had some idea of blood being a source of power, and since we define vampires as "things that feed on blood, whatever else they do," it makes sense for most cultures to add some kind of vampiric twist to their blood mythology.


----------



## evanator66

This wasn't for a fantasy novel, but the most unusual research I've had to do is looking up how many ampere-turns a ship mounted railgun would have. I have still not gotten an answer.


----------



## Tom

I researched something like that for a steampunk story. My question was "How many knots would an early 19th century two-masted schooner, under full sail but with the top half of its mainmast snapped off, travel at in a fair wind?". I thought the question was far too specific to ever get an answer, but lo and behold I got one. 

The moral of the story is: just keep looking.


----------



## Shreddies

When I was looking up information about sugar, I found out that a Sugarist (someone who performs Sugaring) is someone who removes body hair, using a sugar and lemon paste. Who knew..

It definitely pays to google words you think you've invented.


----------



## Ruby

The funniest research I've had to do this week was to find out which is the correct spelling: lamppost or lamp post.The answer is that the former is the American spelling while the latter is correct in English.
I knew I'd seen "lamppost" in a novel, but it looks wrong to me. Probably, the most famous lamp post in literature is the one in C S Lewis', The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Apparently, there were different spellings for English and American versions of the book, but even these varied for certain editions.

Why am I writing about a lamp post? (You may wonder  ). If you click on the link below and read Chapter 7 of my Wattpad story, you will find out!


----------



## Tom

Funniest research this week:

Snakes with vestigial legs. I wanted a plausible skeletal structure for my lamia-esque race.

Unsurprisingly, I didn't get many viable results. Most were just weird.


----------



## Chessie

I've been reading a lot about opium smoking in the 17th century, opium dens, and what exactly taking the drug in that manner does to a person. Extremely fascinating, if not...creepy? Its necessary research though. I didn't know people had to lie down in order to smoke it (good thing I looked it up!).


----------



## K.S. Crooks

For my WIP I finished researching different way to trick a person's sense of touch. I plan to test them on my wife to see how well they work.


----------



## Ruby

The funniest research I've had to do this week, was to work out the year on a planet I've invented for a WIP I'm writing and posting on Wattpad.One of my central characters originated on the planet. He tells the other character that a year on his planet is nine months or two thirds of an Earth year. Luckily, while discussing this with a school kid, who's obviously cleverer than me, he pointed out that nine months is three quarters of an Earth year. We tried to work out what the current year would be on the planet. Does anyone have the answer? Although it may not matter, as time is a man made concept and we have BC and AD. Besides, the characters are time travellers.


----------



## Shreddies

Ruby said:


> . . . Luckily, while discussing this with a school kid, who's obviously cleverer than me, he pointed out that nine months is three quarters of an Earth year. We tried to work out what the current year would be on the planet. Does anyone have the answer?



Hnn. Off the top of my head, the alien world would gain a third of a year for every year on earth, so every three earth years would be four alien ones. And assuming the calenders started at the same time, it'd be something like this?:
(2015 x 0.333) = 664.95 + 2015 = 2679.95


Mine isn't really funny, but this week I found out that hot glass is kind of spongy. And cutting it is like cutting an orange peel. Now I just need to figure out how to include that in a story. . .


----------



## Ruby

Thanks Shreddies, I shall use that.
The funniest research I've done this week was to watch Sleepers by Woody Allen, to see what it would be like to wake up in a futuristic world.


----------



## Tom

This may not count as funniest research of the week, since it was painful rather than funny, but today before the Superbowl got underway I read a sporking of Stephenie Meyer's _The Host_ to see what not to do when writing about body-snatching aliens. 

And, oh, Dear Lord, the_ fail_. Stephenie thought she was being all clever, making the aliens the alleged heroes--they're supposedly peaceful and harmonious and live in perfect unity--and portraying humans as vicious, animalistic, and brutal. However, all she did was make me--and the sporker--hate the aliens with every fiber of my being and recoil several times at the pure _horror_ of the implications she's seemingly unaware of in her content.

Yeah, I think I know how _not_ to write my body-snatching aliens now. Thanks, Meyer.

I don't know whether I should be more upset over the Patriots' win, or the the fact that the little book of horrors I just got a glimpse of is_ published_ and _has a movie based on it_.


----------



## Shreddies

The least expected research I did this week was finding out the origin of being found under a Gooseberry Bush.

Apparently Gooseberry Bush was 19th century slang for pubic hair, and so 'found under a Gooseberry Bush' became an innocuous (and humorous) way of avoiding awkward answers when a child asked where they came from.


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## Ruby

Hi, the funniest research I did this week was about fashion during the 1960's. My Victorian heroine has time travelled and I thought she could land in London in 1962 and be shocked by seeing mini skirts, but further research revealed that mini skirts weren't worn until at least 1965. Luckily, the time machine's time tracking system is not very accurate so I've just changed the year. I must add that having the internet is very useful if you want to check what day of the week it would be in any particular year.


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## Chessie

So 1965 was the year mini skirts changed lives everywhere?  

This week, I did probably the most boring research of my life. Had to look up what uniforms the Russian military wore in the late 1700s. A yawn inducing search indeed. Did I learn anything of value? Yes. That I should make details like that up from now on.


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## Velka

I just spent 45 minutes listening to vulture sounds on youtube trying to figure out how to describe it. 

I'm pretty sure my dog hates me and needs therapy now.


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## Panda

Just thought I'd point out that, if you read the list of threads in the Research forum at the moment, it reads:

What's the funniest research you've ever had to do for your fantasy novel?
Where do babies come from?

Well honey, when two characters in a fantasy novel love each other very much....



Scribe Lord said:


> ^Speaking of castles and filth, I was researching when I came across the Siege of ChÃ¢teau Gaillard where apparently the enemy infiltrated the inner bailey by climbing the toilet chute. Just goes to show the critical importance of Toilet Guard Duty.



"We're being sieged? Okay, get the burning oil to the murder hole, the archers to the arrow slits, and give some beans to that one guy who has IBS."

As for me, I haven't researched anything funny, but I did find it a bit horrifying the other day when I realized that my browser's recent history was basically nothing but articles about medieval weaponry, torture methods, PTSD, and the TVTropes entry for "Fascinating Eyebrow." Either I'm researching for a fantasy novel, or I'm a deranged psychopath...


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## Shreddies

Velka said:


> I just spent 45 minutes listening to vulture sounds on youtube trying to figure out how to describe it.



Well, according to the omniscient being known as wikipedia, it's a scream: List of Animal Sounds.  Unless you're working out an onomatopoeia, in which case I have no idea...


This week I looked into the uses of fruit stones, and what orchard owners (who presumably make jams and preserves) would do with them. Turns out you can use the kernel (the fleshy bit inside the stone) of any stone fruit to make almond extract. And apparently Apricot stones are a common source of 'Natural Almond Extract'.


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## thedarknessrising

I was writing a combat scene between a human and a dwarf, but I was stuck at a particular place. I didn't know how the human would react to the dwarf placing a heavy boot on his arm, pinning him to the ground. I went into my brothers room, laid on the floor, and told him to place his foot on my arm and put as much weight onto it as he could. From there I was able to choreograph the fight exactly as I wanted it.


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## Laurence

^So I assume this ends with the human nutting the dwarf in the balls and giving him a wedgie?


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## thedarknessrising

Laurence said:


> ^So I assume this ends with the human nutting the dwarf in the balls and giving him a wedgie?



More or less, yeah. The dwarf ran and told his mom on the ranger.


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## Ruby

The funniest research I've had to do for my fantasy novel occurred a couple of days ago whilst I was watching Paddington. This is a relatively new film about Paddington Bear. 

I'm writing a time travel book on Wattpad in which an alien travels in an old fashioned telephone box. I needed to know which way the door opens, and one of the characters in Paddington used a public phone to call the villainess.

It goes to show that even when you think you are procrastinating, you're actually writing your book! 

There aren't many telephone boxes in London these days, no doubt due to the invention of the mobile phone.


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## Giya Kusezu

Military tactics and weapons/materials used. This is still ongoing for me. I'm always reading up on strategies or weapons used in the past so that I can try to create more believable battle scenes in my books.

Also, if removing enough mined material from the Earth's moon would throw off its mass, thereby affecting its gravity and pull on the Earth


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## Panda

Ruby said:


> I'm writing a time travel book on Wattpad in which an alien travels in an old fashioned telephone box.



Isn't that the plot of Dr. Who?


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## Ruby

Panda said:


> Isn't that the plot of Dr. Who?



Hi Panda,

It's not exactly the plot of Doctor Who as my time traveller doesn't use a phone box, but another alien does!

 Doctor Who actually uses a police phone box for time travel.The red telephone box I researched is different to this. However, I agree that the story is a bit derivative.

My story is a comedy and differs from Doctor Who in many ways. You can read it if you click on my Wattpad link below. I hope you like it!


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## Philster401

There was another show like that I saw something about it was an old television show that used a red telephone box and they time traveled but I don't think they were aliens though.


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## Ruby

Philster401 said:


> There was another show like that I saw something about it was an old television show that used a red telephone box and they time traveled but I don't think they were aliens though.



Hi Philster401,

I'd be interested to know what the show was.

It shows you that there's nothing original under the sun. Like there are only supposed to be 7 basic plots.

I guess it's what you do with it that makes it different.


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## Panda

I just read the first two chapters and I'll probably read the rest later. It's a good story, but...



Ruby said:


> However, I agree that the story is a bit derivative.



...it's about a time-traveling alien who looks like an eccentric Englishman and travels with a female English companion in a time-traveling phone box _that's bigger on the inside._ :confused2:


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## Ruby

Panda said:


> I just read the first two chapters and I'll probably read the rest later. It's a good story, but...
> 
> 
> 
> ...it's about a time-traveling alien who looks like an eccentric Englishman and travels with a female English companion in a time-traveling phone box _that's bigger on the inside._ :confused2:



Thanks  for reading it, Panda.

I must admit I didn't realise it was like Doctor Who until someone pointed it out to me!

BTW there is a problem on the Wattpad site and so my chapters have suddenly appeared in the wrong sequence.     Apparently they're trying to sort it out. It's affecting those of us using Android. It shouldn't be a problem if you check the number of the chapter before reading.

PS If it is Doctor Who, I'll cast David Tennant as Alastair and Billie Piper as Amanda!


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## Elrik Blackhaven

I spent quite awhile researching Medieval cross-dressers in upper society. I was rather surprised at what I found. It was very interesting. I was developing a character similar to Robert De Niros, Captain Shakespeare in the movie Stardust.


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## Jabrosky

Today I learned the Oreo, the greatest cookie ever invented, was first released in March 6th, 1912. This would have been almost a month before a certain large and famous ship departed from Southampton, UK, for New York on April 10th, only for its journey to be cut short short five days later. Does this mean the passengers aboard this ship, formerly presumed unsinkable, would have access to the first generation of Oreos? Inquiring minds must know.


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## Panda

"Here's how we settle this: we twist this cookie apart, and if the creme's on your side, you get the lifeboat. If the creme's on my side, I get the lifeboat."

Tragically, the "double-stuf" variety would not be invented for a few more decades.


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## Tom

Most frustrating research this week: Looking up nearly every single backroad outside of Syracuse city limits and deciding which is the best one for a vampire clan to have a hideout on. Gack. Google Earth is cool, but after a while it starts to grate...


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## Cassp

Needing to understand what it actually takes for someone to die, ie. what being stabbed in the heart actually does to someone.


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## Ruby

I'm researching Victorian pubs for my fantasy, time travel novel set partly in the late 19th Century. Two of my characters were on a date and the inn keeper called for last orders, so I decided I'd better find out at what time pubs closed in those days. The answer is: eleven o'clock in the country but midnight in the town, although it was largely left up to the Local Authority to decide.

There were also women only saloons and more cases of women getting drunk than men.


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## MapHatter

I love this post. I've often thought the subject I was researching was bizarre, and, honestly, not something I ever expected to learn about. It's highly amusing seeing some of the other insanely random stuff some people have been forced to read up on. I've recently been watching Downton Abbey as 'research' into the style and architecture of early 20th Century England. I classify this as weird because I found myself quickly becoming entranced. Also, spiders. Religiously and extensively researching spiders was a weird, wonderful and horrifying journey. There are some truly hideous arachnids out there.


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## valiant12

Ruby said:


> Thanks for all these interesting details about your research. I decided to set the time travel novel I'm writing in Victorian England and I learnt that there was toxic arsenic in the wallpaper.   Children who chewed the wallpaper would die; rich people couldn't understand why they felt so ill in their own houses but fine when they stayed at the seaside. Their rooms were damp and the warmth from fires released the arsenic into the atmosphere. Arsenic was even in William Morris' designs. Also, the corsets women wore could permanently damage their ribs and was the cause of fainting and breathlessness.



The weirdest research I have made is also on corsets- would you die or seriously wound yourself if you sneeze wearing a corset. According to what I read probably not.


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## Ruby

I've just had to research whether rabbits can see in colour. This is for a story I'm writing about transfiguration.


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## Mirrortail

I don't think I've done any weird topics yet, the only one I can think of is how to...get away with a strange natural or even super-natural phenomenon of two drastically different environments being next to each other, to excuse a concept I started back in middle school XD.


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## Mirrortail

MapHatter said:


> I love this post. I've often thought the subject I was researching was bizarre, and, honestly, not something I ever expected to learn about. It's highly amusing seeing some of the other insanely random stuff some people have been forced to read up on. I've recently been watching Downton Abbey as 'research' into the style and architecture of early 20th Century England. I classify this as weird because I found myself quickly becoming entranced. Also, spiders. Religiously and extensively researching spiders was a weird, wonderful and horrifying journey. There are some truly hideous arachnids out there.



There sure are....most I saw from unknowningly seeing them in a book or other site as  featured photograph *Shudder*. On that note.........I hate spiders, so for my bday a neighbor friend I knew and I  well decided to look up spider faces to decorate my pinata (actually that part was her idea)...we were both traumatized. I enjoyed hitting that pinata......


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## Mirrortail

valiant12 said:


> The weirdest research I have made is also on corsets- would you die or seriously wound yourself if you sneeze wearing a corset. According to what I read probably not.



Weird, I literally just sneezed as I scrolled to this comment, but thankfully wearing a comfy outfit, so totally safe.


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## Chessie

Goodness, researching how to effectively kill someone with a short sword might raise suspicions to anyone looking through our search history lol. The problem is that people can continue fighting even after having been sliced numerous times. So I've had to look up more and more articles. Creepy. -_-


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## DragonOfTheAerie

I looked up whether humans drink monkey or ape milk in any part of the world, or at least can we? No conclusive results. 

I also had a question about how much electricity it would take to kill a shark, but I never actually researched that one. Revision to my ideas made it unneccessary.


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## La Volpe

DragonOfTheAerie said:


> I looked up whether humans drink monkey or ape milk in any part of the world, or at least can we? No conclusive results.


Since we drink cow and goat milk, I'd expect we would be _able_ to drink (and digest) ape milk. Whether anyone has been crazy enough to try (since apes can beat the crap out of most anyone), I wouldn't know.


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## DragonOfTheAerie

La Volpe said:


> Since we drink cow and goat milk, I'd expect we would be _able_ to drink (and digest) ape milk. Whether anyone has been crazy enough to try (since apes can beat the crap out of most anyone), I wouldn't know.



I thought that since we're closely related, ape milk would be similar in nutritional value to human milk.


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