# Kill this Thread



## Philip Overby

I've seen these in other places before, but this could be a fun way to be creative and use fantasy as well.  The goal?  Kill the thread.  Meaning if the thread lies dormant for over *one day*, then it is officially dead.  

The rules?

Post whatever you want, with the goal to be the last person to say anything on the thread.  If you "kill it" you are officially the winner.

However...

*You can only post again after someone else has posted.*

Things you can post:

1.  Your thoughts
2.  A story
3.  Your thoughts about a story
4.  Your thoughts about someone else's story
5.  Your grandma's apple pie recipe
6.  Basically anything

So go forth and kill this stinky, warty thread!


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## Legendary Sidekick

(...the sidekick crawls out from under his rock and creeps older livewriters out while confusing the newer forumland dwellers as he bids the mouse in his coffee mug g'morning and reaches into his sofa cushion cursing, "where did i put that blasted clicker," for he needs to secretly insult the scriptwriters of tvland for a refreshing change of pace...)







6


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## JCFarnham

Nice. Very subtle.


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## Legendary Sidekick

I blew it when I gave the number meaning.


Phil the Drill said:


> 6.  Basically anything


Come to think of it, I really blew it by giving the image meaning. The gob--I mean, sidekick--is watching NBC.


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## Philip Overby

Are their any good shows on NBC anymore?  I watch Desperate Housewives, but it's hard to keep up with over here.  Plus, I think that's an ABC show.  Ugh, I don't know.


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## Devor

Phil the Drill said:


> Are their any good shows on NBC anymore?  I watch Desperate Housewives, but it's hard to keep up with over here.  Plus, I think that's an ABC show.  Ugh, I don't know.



For scripted shows, only SMASH and The Office are getting ratings that would even be renewed on the other networks.  I watch SMASH, but sometimes it's too much.


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## Philip Overby

What is SMASH?  Like a MASH remake?  Ok, that was a stupid joke.


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## Legendary Sidekick

I have no idea what's on NBC. Probably nothing good, which is why the (...sidekick...) picked that channel. He's just looking for an excuse to complain.

Does Japan play American shows with Japanese subtitles? I started watching Desperate Housewives in Hong Kong, which I think was subtitled in Chinese. I miss the commercials over there. There was a hair treatment commercial that showed a man running his fingers through a woman's long, silky hair as he was being judo-tossed. I can't remember what the ad with wire-fu swordplay was selling. Toothpaste, I think.


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## JCFarnham

I've been led to believe the Japanese have a love of western culture, it wouldn't surprise me if they did sub shows. Alas you probably know better than me. Probably a pay channel any how


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## Legendary Sidekick

In Hong Kong, there are 2 local networks; each own 2 stations. One broadcasts in English, the other in Cantonese. So we watched Desperate Housewives and CSI on pay channels. I'm only guessing that Japan is similar in that respect, as I assume the life of an English teacher in Japan is similar to that of Hong Kong.

One huge difference between HK and Japan is their love of Western culture. HK--especially teenage girls in HK--has a love of both Western culture and Japanese culture. I used to see a lot of teenage girls dressing like medieval anime maids. I don't know if that description makes sense. Neither does the costume. I found this stuff disturbing before I became a father of two or three daughters.

(For those who know of "the dragon," her gender will be revealed soon. My wife and I are predicting a girl, but my oldest daughter could be right that it's a boy. I can't wait! I'll know on Wednesday!)


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## Philip Overby

Yeah we get shows with Japanese subtitles.  Problem is I don't have TV, I just watch DVDs.

Japanese people seem to still love Western culture mostly, but there has been a shift to Koreans as being the new cool foreigner.  

Good  to know you'll find out the gender soon!  

Here's a cool quote I found (that has nothing to do with anything else):

_A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn._
Nethack


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## Devor

Legendary Sidekick said:


> (For those who know of "the dragon," her gender will be revealed soon. My wife and I are predicting a girl, but my oldest daughter could be right that it's a boy. I can't wait! I'll know on Wednesday!)



Is she carrying high?  You don't really have to answer.  I'm trying to think of a pun for that, but I can't of any.  good.  Gun holster high

((edit))  I don't know what that was.


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## Caged Maiden

I've been really sick for two days.  I've watched 8 episodes of Grimm, eaten 610 calories of food (because my hubby is so sweet and got me Wonton soup from the local Chinese restaurant), lost two pounds due to dehydration because I can't even stomach water, and had four super excruciatingly hot baths.  All I want to do tonight is watch vampire movies and eat popsicles.


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## Legendary Sidekick

Devor said:


> Is she carrying high?


I don't know how to judge carrying height.

When my boss was pregnant with fraternal twins (gender doesn't have to be the same), I was the only one who correctly guessed she would have 2 boys. (25% chance of being right, where 1 boy + 1 girl--as everyone else guessed--has 50% odds of being right.) How did I "know?" I flipped a coin twice and got "heads" on both flips.

I assume this guess to be random as well.


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## Benjamin Clayborne

I had no idea what gender both our boys were going to be. On the second one, I sort of had an intuitive feeling that it was a girl, but I never claimed any strong belief. And it turned out that I was wrong anyway.


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## Legendary Sidekick

There's a 50% chance my intuitive belief is right!

...and that the dime I just flipped is wrong. I just flipped that dime _off._ What do dimes know, anyway?




@#$%^&* dime.


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## The Blue Lotus

I have had a headache for 3 days.... I'd rather someone killed me than killing the thread atm  
Hope everyone is having a good one... 

I'll be around eventualy going forget my pc exsists for a while.


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## Caged Maiden

Watched From Dusk 'til Dawn last night.  WTF? I thought I'd seen it before, but I would have remembered THAT.  I thought when my husband said he remembered it being a comedy he was just being stupid.  Hmm... well it did have some funny parts.  So after that I put on Dracula 2000.  Better, but I remember that being better as well.  What's wrong with vampire movies?  I mean... it's not like the budget ought to be high, how much can fake blood cost?  I am a big old fan of vampire and werewolf movies, but I can't stomach the cheap terrible ones (though I can forgive the bad effects if the story's good).  

Anyone have any recommendations?


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## Legendary Sidekick

Watch Sesame Street.

There's no better vampire than Count Von Count.



What? Okay, you tell me how many of those bloodsucking murderers can make lightning just by counting to the number of the day. You don't need to be a supernatural evil entity to bite people. Anybody can do that.


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## Philip Overby

Watch "Let the Right One In" or whatever the American version is called.  I heard the original is better, but it's the first vampire movie I've seen in a long time that had me actually emotionally invested.


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## Benjamin Clayborne

I do love Count von Count, but come on, in a straight-up fight, Blade would kick his ass.


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## Philip Overby

So how many ways can you kill a bugbear?  Just thinking about that.  That's all.


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## Legendary Sidekick

*Count Von Count vs. Blade*

COUNT: That's One... one punch in the nose.

BLADE: Ow.

COUNT: Two! Two punches. Three, four...

BLADE: Oof, ung, aww!

(47 seconds later...)

COUNT: Ninety-nine punches, and that's ONE ninety-nine hit combo! Aah, aah, aaaah...!

MR. ROGERS: Finish him, neighbor.

COUNT: Let's see. I need ONE down-tap on the control stick. TWO, two down-taps. Tap down again, that's THREE... so one, two, three, HIGH KICK!

GIANT COOKIE MONSTER: Mmm! Me think sword-wielding vampire taste like cookie! Only one way to find out, ha, ha, ha... UMM, NUMM, NUMM, NUMM, NUMM!

MR. ROGERS: Fatality. Can you say that? Fa - tal - i - ty.


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## The Blue Lotus

Bump... just like that.


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## Philip Overby

I like things that go bump in the night.  Monsters and crap like that.

What's a good monster movie?


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## Caged Maiden

I just changed my facebook status to:

My underwear is white with silver jolly rogers.  I was feeling piratey tonight.


I like vampires.  For that I think Underworld is about as good as I've seen.  I like Van Helsing too, but it's a bit sillier.  I just watched From Dusk 'til Dawn and Dracula 2000, I'm on a vampire kick... oh and I love pirates. I might talk like a pirate all day tomorrow.


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## Legendary Sidekick

I'm not sure what monster movies can be fun without the silhouettes of a guy and two robots.

Sunday night, my brother ordered a drink called the Hobgoblin. I couldn't get *the Hobgoblins song* out of my head.



PS- This thread is a dream come true. I can post useless and/or trivial crap, and it's on topic no matter what!

Example: When I say "and/or" I think of these guys:














NOTE: Giant Andore and/or Tiny Poison is non-canon.

And it's probably pronounced like "Andre" with an extra syllable so the name works with the Japanese phonetic character sets. (I'm not sure that "alphabet" is the correct term for the hiragana and katakana sets.)


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## Philip Overby

They call it kana (katakana and hiragana).  Wow, Final Fight is a blast from the past.  How come every beat up game had a guy like that?  Andore and Abobo (from Double Dragon.)  There is a funny flash game called Abobo's Adventure or something that is like Double Dragon but you beat up characters from all these different video games.  It was pretty hilarious.

(P.S.  Yes, I created this thread to post useless stuff and just to see who could kill it by posting the most useless thing that no one else is interested in commenting on.  But the goal is to prevent one person from winning by posting as much as possible.  So theoretically, this thread could go on forever.  And it's a challenge because you can post stories, news, whatever you want.)


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## Legendary Sidekick

I loved the NES version of Abobo, even though the better home game was Abobo-less Double Dragon II since the first DD for the NES was single player.

And you still had to fight Jimmy for the girl.


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## Philip Overby

Well, I saw the last post was by Legendary Sidekick (yesterday) but I'm in Japan so I'm confused if he killed the thread of not.  If so, one point goes to Sidekick.  If not, then no points are awarded.  

Abobo is my hero.


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## Legendary Sidekick

Phil the Drill said:


> Well, I saw the last post was by Legendary Sidekick (yesterday) but I'm in Japan so I'm confused if he killed the thread of not.  If so, one point goes to Sidekick.  If not, then no points are awarded.
> 
> Abobo is my hero.


If I knew what I was gonna spend it on, I'd keep my mouth shut and take the point. But since I can never decide whether to spend my point on attack power or health, I'll confess that it hasn't been 24 hours without a post.


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## Devor

Legendary Sidekick said:


> But since I can never decide whether to spend my point on attack power or health, I'll confess that it hasn't been 24 hours without a post.



Usually, Attack Power to Health in a 3-to-1 ratio.


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## Legendary Sidekick

Darn. My huntress in Dungeon Defenders has a 2-to-1 ratio. And I never have to heal... I should've known I was wasting points!

I blame Monster Hunter. In that game, I need max defense, max health, and three teammates with good attack power. Now all my RPG characters are on a health kick.


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## Philip Overby

The Endless Hunt, Season 3:  Abobo A-Go-Go

Do it.


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## Ravana

Dead.
Thread. 
Head.
Tread.
Read.
Red.
Bred.
Bread.
Bled.
Led.
Lead.
…

-

[Note the obvious absence on the list. Which might explain why I'm doing this right now.…  ]


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## Philip Overby

Fred?  Fred's always keeping me up late with his incessant screaming.  I heard he killed his first vampire the other night.  His parents must be proud.


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## Holdwyne

So, how many words can one reasonably get into a single sentence?( the one below is around 70 give or take)

This ones a bit Wordy i would say but still, it did make sense within its context ( life's curve-ball's)

Beyond the basic requirements of food, clothing and shelter that all of us require and may find elusive once that pitch has been put into play, the emotional and mental support we need at times like this, while varying from person to person in the scope required, is none the less critical to ones ability to pick up the peices, make a new plan and implement that plan with a positive outlook.

Anybody else have a Gem of similar stature to share..perhaps one even More grandiose..


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## Devor

Holdwyne said:


> Anybody else have a Gem of similar stature to share..perhaps one even More grandiose..



_If I were to consider a grandiose response to your proposed sentence challenge, without having the desire or the self-discipline to flip through the old books of yesteryear and to examine the archaic sentence structures of writers now only read by the force of reputation instead of the prospect of enjoyment, I would find myself compelled to find a sentence construct that was poignant, that would fit smoothly and directly into the flow of conversation and create the sense of ironic amusement in those who read through the wordly jumble and deciphered the mock cleverness of its author, so that it would serve to hijack the attention of other conversational topics and present me the opportunity to attempt to bring this thread to its inevitable killing with a future response by me of "Thanks!"_


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## Legendary Sidekick

*Who is The Dragon, or What?*

I'm finding out the gender of The Dragon today! I've already picked out names from the family tree.

Following the pattern set by The Dragon's older sisters, s/he must be named after a great, great, great, great grandparent.

The tricky part, I thought, would be naming a boy after anyone on the Irish side. Almost everyone is John or Michael or Daniel. (My first, middle and Confirmation names, respectively.) I found one very rare name that far back, and it turned out I have a lot of information on the guy.

His name is Malachi. A great name for a dragon! Should I have a son who will share that name, his Chinese name will include the dragon character:






​If it's a girl, I've got a few choices (none of which are Joan, Michelle or Danielle). I let name meanings do the tie-breaking for me. I've always been partial to the name Hannah for some reason.





Hannah Heavenscent, the valkyrie baker
​

No matter the gender, one thing is certain: all of my children will have names with two A's in them. That sort of thing matters when you buy sticker sets. You might get four or five A's in one set, but probably not _six._


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## Holdwyne

Devor said:


> _If I were to consider a grandiose response to your proposed sentence challenge, without having the desire or the self-discipline to flip through the old books of yesteryear and to examine the archaic sentence structures of writers now only read by the force of reputation instead of the prospect of enjoyment, I would find myself compelled to find a sentence construct that was poignant, that would fit smoothly and directly into the flow of conversation and create the sense of ironic amusement in those who read through the wordly jumble and deciphered the mock cleverness of its author, so that it would serve to hijack the attention of other conversational topics and present me the opportunity to attempt to bring this thread to its inevitable killing with a future response by me of "Thanks!"_




Outstanding!!!


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## Devor

Holdwyne said:


> Outstanding!!!



Thanks!


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## Caged Maiden

Still feeling piratey.  Here's some good advice:

The so-called "experts" what write dictionaries and  such would have us believe that "pillage" and "plunder" are no more than  synonyms.  Those so-called "experts" are what I likes to call, "nuance-challenged!"

       When ye "pillage" ye be "breakin' and takin'!"  Whereas when ye "plunder" ye be "takin' and breakin'!" With pillagin' -  ye're much more focused on the destruction and mayhem involved in the  act. Plunderers, on the other hand, are more "outcome sensitive."
       So, ye see, lads- ye can almost break down the  whole pirate world into two types o' pirates - thems what likes the  journey (The Pillage People) and thems what prefer the destination  (Plunder Monkeys.)


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## Legendary Sidekick

Arrrr... I be on a boat, mother lubber!






That's all I've got.

(Kicks a pebble.)

(Watches it skip twice before plunking into the sea.)

(Says the letter "R" again.)


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## Aidan of the tavern

Hmm, this thread could take a while.  I can just picture myself in a few decades time with a long grey beard and a walking stick, coming to check if anyone has posted recently.


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## Devor

Aidan of the tavern said:


> Hmm, this thread could take a while.  I can just picture myself in a few decades time with a long grey beard and a walking stick, coming to check if anyone has posted recently.



It'll happen.  A few weekends.  A little more activity in the Challenges forum pushing it down.  Eventually it'll fall off the radar until just nobody cares for a moment.

Alternatively, we'll get to see what it takes to break a thread on Mythic Scribes.  Last post before it snaps wins the thing, right?


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## Legendary Sidekick

I'm on school vacation now. Next week, it'll be easy for me to let this thread slip by.

(I should have stolen the victory while I had the chance. Stupid honor!)


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## Aidan of the tavern

Well I'm going to bed soon, so it'll probably end overnight.


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## Legendary Sidekick

I DARE the next person to post at 9:05 PM tomorrow!


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## Caged Maiden

Good night Scribes.  I better get a little work done before I turn in.


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## Philip Overby

Devor said:


> It'll happen.  A few weekends.  A little more activity in the Challenges forum pushing it down.  Eventually it'll fall off the radar until just nobody cares for a moment.
> 
> Alternatively, we'll get to see what it takes to break a thread on Mythic Scribes.  Last post before it snaps wins the thing, right?



It'll never happen because I'll just keep posting until infinity or I'll make another profile and post alternately like some crazed hobo of the internet.


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## Holdwyne

anihow said:


> Still feeling piratey.  Here's some good advice:
> 
> The so-called "experts" what write dictionaries and  such would have us believe that "pillage" and "plunder" are no more than  synonyms.  Those so-called "experts" are what I likes to call, "nuance-challenged!"
> 
> When ye "pillage" ye be "breakin' and takin'!"  Whereas when ye "plunder" ye be "takin' and breakin'!" With pillagin' -  ye're much more focused on the destruction and mayhem involved in the  act. Plunderers, on the other hand, are more "outcome sensitive."
> So, ye see, lads- ye can almost break down the  whole pirate world into two types o' pirates - thems what likes the  journey (The Pillage People) and thems what prefer the destination  (Plunder Monkeys.)




Ye Gads!!!! Now even our Pirates must be politically correct!!!  So what happens if one from the tribe of the pillage people has an off day and acts and reacts as if he were of the tribe of the plunder monkeys??

Do we Hoist him from the Yardarm or give him a medal for having a moment of moral ambiguity???


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## Legendary Sidekick

Phil the Drill said:


> It'll never happen because I'll just keep posting until infinity or I'll make another profile and post alternately like some crazed hobo of the internet.


You could use your alternate profile, then log in as Phil and reply that you suspect that "someone who shall remain unnamed" is using an alternate profile which is grounds for a thread-lock.

And then you lock the thread and win! YAY!!


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## Devor

Legendary Sidekick said:


> And then you lock the thread and win! YAY!!



Evil.

I kind of like the idea of breaking the thread.  Anyone know how many posts that'll take?  Is it like 25 pages or 99 or 1000?  Is it even possible?  Maybe it's a random number and will just catch us off guard.

Maybe we should ask Black Dragon to decide on a random time to _lock_ the thread no matter who posted last.


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## Caged Maiden

I like killing things...  When we're done, can I wear this thread on my head like a lampshade even if I didn't win?


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## Philip Overby

I want this thread to become clinically depressed.

Hey thread!  Go watch "Milo and Otis" or something!


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## Legendary Sidekick

. . .. .. . .  . . . . . . . . . . ..  . . . . . . . :   . . . . .. : . . . . . . . . ... :  .  . . . . . : ... . . . . . . . . . . .  :: . . . . . . ..  .. . . . . . .  .: . . . .  : . . . .. : . . . ..  . .. . .  . . . . . . . . . . ..  . . . . . . . :   . . . . .. : . . . . . . . . ... :  .  . . . . . : ... . . . . . . . . . . .  :: . . . . . . ..  .. . . . . . .  .: . . . .  : . . . .. : . . . ..  . .. . .  . . . . . . . . . . ..  . . . . . . . :   . . . . .. : . . . . . . . . ... :  .  . . . . . : ... . . . . . . . . . . .  :: . . . . . . ..  .. . . . . . .  .: . . . .  : . . . .. : . . . ..  . .. . .  . . . . . . . . . . ..  . . . . . . . :   . . . . .. : . . . . . . . . ... :  .  . . . . . : ... . . . . . . . . . . .  :: . . . . . . ..  .. . . . . . .  .: . . . .  : . . . .. : . . . ..  . .. . .  . . . . . . . . . . ..  . . . . . . . :   . . . . .. : . . . . . . . . ... :  .  . . . . . : ... . . . . . . . . . . .  :: . . . . . . ..  .. . . . . . .  .: . . . .  : . . . .. : . . . ..  . .


Great. Now my post is all covered in stubble. This thread stopped shaving... because it stopped _caring._


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## JCFarnham

mmm stubble...


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## Legendary Sidekick

JCFarnham said:


> mmm stubble...


GAAH!--don't _eat_ it! Eating stubble doesn't make your beard longer, it just makes your tongue hurt.

Don't ask me how I know this.


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## Caged Maiden

<- is a fan of a few days' growth.


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## Philip Overby

This thread needs some ice cream.  

So what's up with these challenges below, huh?  Are people finishing their stories?  I have a challenge.  If you haven't finished your story in a challenge, go finish it.  Challenging!


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## Devor

Phil the Drill said:


> So what's up with these challenges below, huh?  Are people finishing their stories?  I have a challenge.  If you haven't finished your story in a challenge, go finish it.  Challenging!



I don't know.  Cards on the table, I was expecting lots of dropouts for the Character thread, but I'm getting optimistic it won't be as bad as I was afraid of for a while there.  What do you think, Phil?  Is the Character challenge worth repeating?

I've got to focus my writing on something for a day or two, but then I'll work on the MFMA fights.  I'm still confused as to whether Vollifer v. Bazil was rerolled or not, but Mordile will be fun.


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## Philip Overby

Yeah I don't know what's going on with the tournament yet.  I'm just waiting for a PM to do something.  

I think the character challenge was fun and gave me an idea (although not the same one) for another future story that I'm going to lock in my "future story chest" and use later.  I think it would be useful if people actually do it.

I personally always post before a deadline even if my entry sucks.  Just how I roll.


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## Legendary Sidekick

Devor said:


> I'm still confused as to whether Vollifer v. Bazil was rerolled or not


The coin decides, right now, right HERE!


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## Legendary Sidekick

Phil the Drill said:


> Yeah I don't know what's going on with the tournament yet.  I'm just waiting for a PM to do something.


I sent a PM!

But all you need to do is copy-paste your Bazil vs. Vollifer fight to a new post. I tried moving the post because I'm a mod and I can, but because of the post date it ends up on top of the intro post, which is stupid.


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## Philip Overby

I was totally confused with that PM.  I thought it was just one of those "heads up" kind of things.  I guess I should read better.  Ok, copy and pasting now.


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## Legendary Sidekick

No problem... glad you mentioned that. You're not the only one who took it that way!


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## Caged Maiden

Come join my challenge!!! Write a gritty character in a decaying city.


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## Philip Overby

I'm going to start joining challenges once I see at least 4 other people join.  It's not against anyone, but I want to at least have it be a challenge and not just me and one other person posting.


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## Devor

Phil the Drill said:


> I'm going to start joining challenges once I see at least 4 other people join.  It's not against anyone, but I want to at least have it be a challenge and not just me and one other person posting.



If everyone thinks that way, bad things will happen.


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## Philip Overby

Well, I think that way, because I always enter challenges and no one finishes them.  So that's my own personal rule.  Maybe I'm just bitter about the challenges recently.  In any case, I still like them so I'll probably do them even if no one else enters.  Just to improve my own writing.


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## Caged Maiden

I agree.  Challenges used to be good a couple months ago, but now they're kinda watered down, wonder why that is?  Where'd all our regulars go?  Are people leaving MS?


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## Devor

anihow said:


> I agree.  Challenges used to be good a couple months ago, but now they're kinda watered down, wonder why that is?  Where'd all our regulars go?  Are people leaving MS?



A few of the really chatty ones have pulled back.  The back-and-forth builds excitement, and the energy brings people on board and builds up the quality.  With those people having pulled back, and a little bit of overkill with the challenges all at once, the Challenges forum has momentarily dropped in its energy levels.  Also, Reaver's had too long of a timeline, and I think the MFMA did too.  But Mythic Scribes is actually gaining people rapidly right now because of the Article Team.

Speaking of challenges, I'm expecting your Character story to be awesome and on time, anihow.


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## Philip Overby

Personally, I like the Challenges no matter how many there are, but that's just me.  Maybe it's a bit overwhelming for others to decide if they want to do one if there are so many.  But I think that should be part of the fun of it.  Just find the one you like and go for it.

In other news, anyone working on anything at the moment you want to discuss here in the friendly Kill this Thread thread?


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## Devor

Phil the Drill said:


> In other news, anyone working on anything at the moment you want to discuss here in the friendly Kill this Thread thread?



I'm still in need of a scene to establish the starting point for my MC's relationship.  I've got ideas for turbulence and turmoil later on, but I'm having a hard time trying to get it grounded.


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## Caged Maiden

The loving scene?


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## Philip Overby

What are you leaning towards?


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## Legendary Sidekick

anihow said:


> I agree.  Challenges used to be good a couple months ago, but now they're kinda watered down, wonder why that is?  Where'd all our regulars go?  Are people leaving MS?


Your doing your part to make it awesome.

I'm enjoying your challenge... and spending way more time on it than I've ever spent on a challenge. (Other than my 19-post entry for Reaver, which was mapped on paper first, challenges typically take me 30-90 minutes from idea to post.)


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## Elder the Dwarf

anihow said:


> I agree.  Challenges used to be good a couple months ago, but now they're kinda watered down, wonder why that is?  Where'd all our regulars go?  Are people leaving MS?



I think in some ways it has the same problem that the showcase thread has.  It became more popular and then there were too many threads in too little time, and not enough people willing to critique/enter.  Also, for many people challenges are only something they can do every once in a while because they become very busy for periods of time.  Maybe if you guys (the challenge regulars) came together and decided on one really good challenge to put forward, like the MFMA or the Legendary Sidekick Trigger, it would get better response.  Just an idea.  Also, the Shenokan City challenge is cool, kind of like a throwback Thieve's World type of thing.


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## Caged Maiden

Thanks.  We still want more people to jump in.  You could make a character if you like.


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## Legendary Sidekick

Shenoka went from Trigger type to a "post-if-you-want-to" type (like this one, or just about any of Phil's, but with a plot).

Anihow, I don't know if this is going as you planned it, but it's working. I think this tops all of my challenges combined.


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## Caged Maiden

I can't even begin to explain how thrilled I am.  It was everything I wanted and more.  I just wanted a serious, focused setting and people to collaborate and play with each other.  I mean, that's what writing exercises are about, practicing, getting creative, and having a good time.  I LOVE IT!!! and every single post has been freaking great.  I am having a blast, and all I can hope for is that everyone else is having as good a time as I am.  I love the characters, and I just love the enthusiasm.


----------



## Philip Overby

I'm going to post more and more when I get something flowing.  Expect results within the next week or so.


----------



## Caged Maiden

I'm going to break my cycle of procrastination tomorrow.  Whatever else I do, I am going to finish something I have started, dammit!


----------



## Philip Overby

I really wish I knew when this thread was dead or not.  I'm hours ahead of most of you, so I can't determine when it's dead.  It's like checking old milk.


----------



## Devor

anihow said:


> The loving scene?





Phil the Drill said:


> What are you leaning towards?



I'm only seeing these now.  This is really driving me crazy, so alright, I'll spill.

Right now I'm working on six short stories to set up a slew of characters for the novel I want to write.  It's based on my YoD entry.  I actually want to use Yaiku, years later, and I'm trying to figure out his love interest and create a moment to help define the starting point of their relationship.  With all the chasms, I've decided that she's a mounted patrol, so being a light-weight figure helps her mount to jump farther chasms and reach areas that a heavier male counterpart cannot.  Strangely enough, the long jump record for a human is about the same as the record for a horse, so Yaiku may still be able to go farther.

I want the two characters to be at a point where they're just about to settle down right before war breaks out in the region.  They have a friend who goes out, somehow witnesses something bad, and is pursued by another character back into their town, bringing the conflict.  In the meantime, I need something to establish their relationship, both for readers and for me while I outline the bumps and jumps of their relationship.

I think it may also help to create a new character who can help to push their personal conflicts as things go forward, and I think it should be someone in her life instead of his.

Their home is going to fall apart, and they're likely to face serious tests of character.  They may be separated for a while.  That's why I want an established relationship, instead of a new or budding romance.  I don't know if they're married.  I think maybe.

If it sounds like I'm still in the same place I was in the other thread I mentioned it, it's true.  I've been focusing on the six short stories, the plot, and on other aspects of the novel.  But I care most about getting this one piece right, and I seem to be blocked on it.

Any suggestions will be a big help, if only to prod this jumble of thoughts in my head.




Phil the Drill said:


> I really wish I knew when this thread was dead or not.  I'm hours ahead of most of you, so I can't determine when it's dead.  It's like checking old milk.



That was only 15 hours.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Devor said:


> It's based on my YoD entry.


I'm honored to hear your entry is turning into something bigger!

(I gotta re-read that...!)


----------



## Devor

Legendary Sidekick said:


> I'm honored to hear your entry is turning into something bigger!
> 
> (I gotta re-read that...!)



I've updated it a lot.  Maybe I'll post the new version sooner or later.


----------



## Philip Overby

Yeah I really liked your YoD entry so it would be good to see that stretched out to something longer.  

What if your characters share a love for the drakes (I think that's what you called them)?  They could form a bond over their love of riding or some such.  I remember I met a girl when I was a kid who really liked riding horses and she taught me how to ride some and it felt like a nice, innocent moment.  Maybe she could teach him how to jump.  Sometimes mentor relationships can cause a romantic spark.


----------



## Caged Maiden

@Devor  I'm really good at this sort of thing.  Way better at love and tense relationships than war and fighting, so if you want some help, I'm happy to give you some suggestions.  What do you have written so far?  Can you send it?  I feel like I have  ton of ideas, but it's hard without knowing anything about the context of the story.


----------



## Devor

Anihow - The only thing that's written, that's relevant, is my Year of the Dragon entry, entry #3.  The updated version adds ziplines and pole vaulting.  The other stories I'm working on cover different characters and different parts of the world, so they aren't really relevant.

I'm debating whether or not I should bump one of the six stories to make one around her character, but I don't have the slightest idea what that would look like yet.  Each of the stories, on top of the characters, also has two paragraphs introducing one of the six gods and their role in the world.  Those paragraphs are going to be combined into a prologue at the start of the novel.  If I gave her a short story, it would introduce the Tortoise-god, the only one whose role I'm still unsure about.  By role, though, I mean something different than what might come to mind.  The Pheonix god, for instance, manages the reincarnation cycle, and the Elephant god, who is partnered with the Tortoise, deals with the spirit stuff.  The Dragon god's role is just being awesome.  The other two deal with the behavior/philosophy concept that I don't want to explain.  So doing a short story about the girl would have to tie in to something dealing with the Tortoise god. 

Honestly, I don't know how typing all of this out is going to help.  Your first post in the other thread was very useful to me just being vague.  I think just more of that would be the most help.

Phil - The drakes were the bad guys.  The girl rides an animal called the Feichiru, which is an antelope with bird-like qualities, but can't fly.


((edit))

I think maybe the characters are currently married, and living in Yaiku's family home on the farm, where part of a room has been partitioned off with Japanese-type sliding doors.  But they're moving out, or planning to move out, or have just moved out, when the story starts.  Maybe it's a home she's able to acquire because of her work in the patrol.  I think that's where I want to start.  I don't want the "will they or won't they" romance.  I want to see what happens to their relationship when their home is destroyed and the people they know have to endure hardships, and their personalities move from happy and heroic into a place full of tension, sadness, anger and responsibility.

I still need a moment.


----------



## Caged Maiden

Yay, fencing tonight!  Too bad I'm all sore from working outside yesterday...


----------



## Philip Overby

I want to sword fight.  I need to look into that more.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I was once a Knight of Badassdom.

Also dabbled in kendo and spent some years training in iaido. (No fighting in iaido, but it's fun practicing with an actual sword--or an unsharpened one if you don't trust yourself to not accidentally cut your hand sheathing your weapon.)

Sword fighting is fun when your limbs can't get hacked off.


----------



## Earphone

I stood here, I stood there; I've stood bloody everywhere.

I'm standing on the road-


----------



## Caged Maiden

Okay, so I died more than I won... I shall continue to live vicariously through Ranieri...


----------



## Reaver

("....i should've killed Reaver when i had the chance," the goblin said laughing crazily and rubbing his tiny, gnarled hands together..."but i think i'd rather kill this thread...".....)


----------



## Caged Maiden

Ghaa, I thought it had slid far enough to be out of view... Dammit!  My record then is 15 hours.


----------



## Devor

anihow said:


> Ghaa, I thought it had slid far enough to be out of view... Dammit!  My record then is 15 hours.



I think you'll have to bump more threads than that.  They like to play with your emotions.

Really, though, I thought info-dumping was the best way to kill it.  I'll have to think of something else.


----------



## Philip Overby

You can't kill which does not breath.  

I'm sure that's a quote from some movie.


----------



## Caged Maiden

That's okay. I like this thread.  I get to say all the crazy things that pop into my head and it's okay to say them here.


----------



## Philip Overby

101 Comments!  Like 101 Dalmatians.


----------



## Devor

Phil the Drill said:


> 101 Comments!  Like 101 Dalmatians.



Wait.  So whoever kills the thread now is Cruella Devil?


----------



## Reaver

I predict that it'll be me that kills this thread. I've done it before. I'm not proud of this fact at all.


----------



## Caged Maiden

It's almost too much fun to kill at this point.  I say we keep it open forever just to have a thread full of complete uselessness we can say whatever we want on.

So here goes today's installation of pirate advice:

On drinking: The best drink thar be is one that is foremost closest, but also free.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I'm gonna try to kill this thread with kindness.

Aren't you a cute little thread... who's a cute wittle thwead! Coochie-coochie-coo!


Huh. I never knew kindness could be so creepy.

::LOCKS THREAD AND CONKS SELF ON HEAD WITH BAN-HAMMER::


----------



## Caged Maiden

Maybe the thread is trying to kill us...

<- Now believes Phil may have been an unwitting fool in the great evil plot of some sort of demonic being to take over the minds and lives of Mythic Scribes members.  Who knows, when you have eons to live, you can go for the long-con.  We might be witnessing the beginning of the end of the world here people.  You heard it here first...

<- Has great respect for Phil and in no way believes he is actually possessed.  

@Sidekick.  You killed me?!?  And not only did you kill me in cold blood, but you made me a _eunich_ as well.  HAHAHA!  Oh you better believe I'm getting even for that!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Annie Way can't be you, and isn't even related to you. You're a How. (Unless you married a How and Way is your maiden name.)

Anyway, the Legendary Toothpick got his neck snapped, making him the wimpiest of "The Mythic Six." Annie lasted for two posts, making her him the strongest.


----------



## Philip Overby

I bet some of you can't survive this thread.  This is now a horror survival game.  You'll drop off one by one and I'll still be standing here.  

It will never die.  It is immortal.  This is the demon talking.


----------



## Caged Maiden

@sidekick... AHAHAHAHA!

@Phil... MWAHAHAHA!


----------



## Reaver

Phil the Drill said:


> I bet some of you can't survive this thread. This is now a *horror survival* game. .



A survival horror is what we call it over here, Philliam. But in the spirit of ultimate Japanese survival horror:
_* "Jill, Here's a Lockpick. It might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you."*_ 
                                                                         (Barry Burton, Resident Evil)


----------



## Caged Maiden

As I rode out one summer's day, for profit and for pleasure
I planned to rob the London coach and take it at my leisure
A brace of pistols dually primed, a sabre fit to shave on
I waited underneath the trees that lined the banks of Avon.

I didn't hear a dainty step 'til she appeared before me
Her face could charm a singin' bird with words that did implore me,
"Can you help me sir," she said, "I fear the time is nearin'
for me to cross before the tide swells the banks of Avon."

All you rovin' fellows, listen while you can,
Of the time when I became the naked highway man...

Steve Tilston


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

Phil the Drill said:


> I bet some of you can't survive this thread.  This is now a horror survival game.  You'll drop off one by one and I'll still be standing here.
> 
> It will never die.  It is immortal.  This is the demon talking.



Just as long as there isn't a secret government organization underneath the thread orchestrating all our deaths in order to...

...wait, has everyone seen _The Cabin in the Woods_ yet?


----------



## Philip Overby

I haven't seen it.  Some people told me it wasn't very good though.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

19 hours, 3 minutes (from post #109 to #110).

No one killed the thread, but anihow wounded it.


----------



## Devor

Legendary Sidekick said:


> 19 hours, 3 minutes (from post #109 to #110).
> 
> No one killed the thread, but anihow wounded it.



She's done that a few times.  The blood is everywhere.


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

Phil the Drill said:


> I haven't seen it.  Some people told me it wasn't very good though.



Those people probably weren't Joss fans  I recommend it, but admittedly it's not for everyone. (I hate horror movies, but I really enjoyed _TCITW_.)


----------



## JCFarnham

-kicks the thread-

This thing not dead yet? Sheesh! Talk about sturdy...


----------



## Philip Overby

I shot an arrow through it's heart and it limped off somewhere into the woods.  I'll have to go chase it down.  Is this thread turning into Twitter or something?

I ate a ham sandwich. #Delicious


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

That's it! Call this thread "Fantasy Twitter!" Then it'll die! HAW!


...or call it MFMA. Ohhhh...


----------



## Caged Maiden

Oh man what a busy day... I'm glad I came back in time to kick the wounded thread.


----------



## Philip Overby

Yeah, call this thread anything productive that actually encourages people to write and it will die.

Let's call it "The Thread that is Actually Productive and Encourages People to Write."  

Nevermind.  I like it as it is.  

Boogers!

For the sake of all that is holy, can we finish the MFMA tournament?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I think your weekly prompt is perfect for the challenge section. It prevents the thread from just sitting on hold. If you can't make the deadline, no biggie, catch the next one.

I've been thinking of a party-based RPG-type challenge which combines elements of Endless Hunt and Shenoka Shadows. But my MFMA experience taught me not to force a thread to depend on long-term commitment. (That's _my_ mistake.) I think the Weekly Prompt is my answer. That is, you can play or not play, but if you do play, you need to post during that week. If not, you can always catch the next quest.


"Quest of the Week" coming soon...


----------



## Devor

That's a great idea, Sidekick.  Each week the prompt could build on the last one but still be fairly independent.


----------



## Caged Maiden

That's what I was trying to do with Shenoka.  Add some different elements from time to time.  But it's turned more into a RPG than a challenge, but as long as everyone's having fun, that's good.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Devor said:


> That's a great idea, Sidekick.  Each week the prompt could build on the last one but still be fairly independent.


An excellent suggestion!


----------



## Philip Overby

Whatever works.  I think the idea of weekly challenges or games that enable people to come in and out is better than something someone needs to commit to.


----------



## Caged Maiden

<- needs to be committed.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Phil the Drill said:


> Whatever works.  I think the idea of weekly challenges or games that enable people to come in and out is better than something someone needs to commit to.


It also means having to post quickly if you're in--and once, so it's not such a big commitment. With your prompts, as soon as I have an idea, I go for it. If I have more to say, you see a Director's Cut Ending. (Like in a real Director's Cut, the scene is good on its own, but the story as a whole is better without it.)


----------



## Devor

Just keep up a mix of challenges.  The Trigger challenges have been successful for a reason, so are Phil's challenges.  So will these.  There's plenty of room for several challenges at once, but not when they're all the same kind.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I agree.

I'm also thinking a sub-forum for the weekly stuff might be worth asking for. If Phil and I do this regularly, and maybe others start making their own weeklies... that's a lot of threads! I don't want to knock triggers and other long challenges off-screen.


----------



## Philip Overby

Yeah I think after Sidekick's successful Triggers, others were interested in following suit.  The unfortunate thing was a lot of really great challenges all cropped up at the same time.  

Most of my early challenges were just sort of "post if you want" type deals.  I hope the Weekly stuff picks up more and maybe other people can post their own weekly type of things.  

I like how this thread has actually sort of become productive.  It's like a sounding board for the challenges.  

I burned it pretty bad but it's got uber-troll strength.  Fire doesn't work.


----------



## Devor

Legendary Sidekick said:


> I'm also thinking a sub-forum for the weekly stuff might be worth asking for. If Phil and I do this regularly, and maybe others start making their own weeklies... that's a lot of threads! I don't want to knock triggers and other long challenges off-screen.



No, no, no.  The challenges need an Archive.  A place where just completed story threads are moved.  So weekly challenge?  Challenge forum.  End-of-week?  Moved to archive (maybe a little wiggle-room so people can post late).  And a special index thread could point to just the big Trigger challenges.

That way people can go and just read through the stories there.


----------



## Philip Overby

I think the Archivists haven't been activated yet, but I like the idea of having all the Challenge stories collected somewhere without having to read all the other banter.


----------



## Caged Maiden

I copy all the Shenoka entries into a big running word doc in the event a place ever becomes available.  It begins with my introduction, and then it just runs through all the story posts in order with their individual titles.  Is quite a nice effect.  I'd be really excited if we could archive the entries for the challenge.


----------



## Devor

Phil the Drill said:


> I think the Archivists haven't been activated yet, but I like the idea of having all the Challenge stories collected somewhere without having to read all the other banter.



I don't really know what they're going to be up to, but there's only a handful of story threads right now. If a subforum existed, you could have the threads moved and an index up in fifteen minutes (and the index wouldn't be necessary until the archive got really full).


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

@anihow, I should do what you're doing and archive my own entries for the Weekly Prompt. I'm pretty proud of my Oompsa Daisy song, even if I did totally rip off the Oompa Loompas.

I'm mostly proud because I stopped myself from making a third verse. Usually, if I write lyrics I get carried away then hate myself for not taking the time to learn six different instruments (or any) so I can play the tune.


----------



## Caged Maiden

@ Sidekick.  I just noticed recently that most of my books include songs, poems or stories I wrote... hmm... I wonder if that reads as tedious or is clever...  I like songs and poetry and stories... they make things fun.

Also, I keep a whole folder of all my miscellaneous writing I do for challenges and other things.  You never know, one day when I'm looking for a character, I might pull out someone I invented on a whim.  Ranieri the notorious Bravazzo from Brazelton, Claudia the pretty assassin of Kanassa, Dzurick and his team of wreckers, Juliette the bounty-hunter, or maybe even Gideon the gullible captain of the city guard.  

That's the best part of these challenges.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

So does my one huge novel. And since I was ripping off _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory _in my Weekly Prompt entry, we can safely say what we're doing has been done in a proven classic; therefore, it's not wrong. I'm not busting the idea of throwing songs and poems into a story.

At the same time, one of my first-time-writer mistakes was to not know when to just end the damn scene! These short, spontaneous challenges (including yours which I plan to post to soon whether The Cleaner has a mission or not) are great for me. I'm fine-tuning a less-is-more approach in the hopes that my writing is more interesting for the reader if I cut the scene when I should... and frankly, that only makes it easier for me to write.

Winner: everybody!


EDIT: still @anihow, one of those characters could join the Quest of the Week.

(coughs in a way that sounds like the word "hint")


----------



## Philip Overby

Yeah I plan on posting in the Shenoka challenge/game.  And the Quest of the Week.  And any other challenges that look cool.  I'm glad some of the ones that have been on here forever are winding up.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Ailith + Phil + anihow (cough hint again) = unbeatable party!


----------



## Caged Maiden

Sorry guys, I've had a rough week and it's leading up to this weekend when I will be vending in the mountains for three days.  So I will unfortunately be scarce until next week.


----------



## Philip Overby

Be careful in them dere mountains.  (in my best miserly voice)


----------



## Caged Maiden

Thanks Phil.  Don't worry about me, I've never actually _seen _a bear.  Those bear-proof trash cans must be doing their jobs.

Wish me luck.  I'm crossing my fingers that I  have an easy pack-up job.  It snows at this event every year and nothing's worse than packing up several hundred pounds of costumes and a wet-ass tent and then having to dry it all when I get home.

Yeah nothing like sitting through two scorching days and then snow at night.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Have fun selling costumes!

How close is what you do the the LARPing world, out of curiosity?

Also, there is now a Weekly Challenges sub-forum. I moved the Weekly Prompts and Quest of the Week over there.


----------



## Devor

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Also, there is now a Weekly Challenges sub-forum. I moved the Weekly Prompts and Quest of the Week over there.



That's cool, but aren't you worried that having the challenges in a subforum will mean they get ignored?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Well, I am NOW.


Kidding. Sort of.

I'm more worried that they'll clutter up the challenge forum, assuming these are to be posted regularly.


----------



## Devor

Legendary Sidekick said:


> I'm more worried that they'll clutter up the challenge forum, assuming these are to be posted regularly.



That's why I suggested the archive thing, so they'd only move there after the week was up.  I don't mean to push or anything, but take a look at how much the Brainstorming and Planning subforum is ignored.  And right now there's cover art in the showcase instead of the Cover Art subforum.  Subforums just don't generate much real activity.

But I think keeping the active challenges on the regular forum, then moving them to an archive, would keep the activity where it belongs.  And if the archive really is a list of stories, people will actually look through it, at least more than they look at those threads now.

Again, I don't mean to push if people disagree.  I can be cool with whatever.


----------



## Philip Overby

Well the Challenges got buried on the Showcase before and now it has its own forum.  We'll see how this goes.  I think if someone is looking for something specific then they'll find it.


----------



## Ailith

"I am not dead yet
I can dance and I can sing
I am not dead yet
I can do the Highland Fling

I am not dead yet
No need to go to bed
No need to call the doctor 
Cause I'm not yet dead."


----------



## Devor

*whistles*  That was a close one.


----------



## Philip Overby

The thread wrote me a letter:

"If I die I want to leave all my..."

Then it's just like a blood smear.  Hmm...


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

Ailith said:


> "I am not dead yet
> I can dance and I can sing
> I am not dead yet
> I can do the Highland Fling
> 
> I am not dead yet
> No need to go to bed
> No need to call the doctor
> Cause I'm not yet dead."



And then
  we change
      the KEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


----------



## Caged Maiden

The thread swells with pride.  "You puny mortals don't know what you have done.  You will never kill me.  With every post I grow stronger..."


----------



## Philip Overby

Since this thread isn't dying, anyone care to share what they're working on at the moment?  Challenges? WIPs?  Etc.?

I'm planning to try Camp NaNo for the first time.  Not sure what I'm going to write yet exactly, but I've thought about writing two short novellas instead of one 50K unfinished manuscript.  I understand there is some market for novellas in the small presses?  I may aim for that once I edit them.  

I have one NaNo I did that I'm in the middle of editing now.  And I think it's halfway decent.


----------



## Ailith

I’d like some feedback on a challenge I’m working on. It’s a weekly challenge that sets up an ethical dilemma. Writers create a scene in which characters must solve the dilemma and deal with the outcome. 

I think it has high creativity potential, but also high frustration potential. Here’s why: A dilemma is a problem with _no good answer._ Writing a scene that may not have a “good” or “fulfilling” outcome can be irritating. 

So why is it a good exercise? The point of the challenge is to show the decision-making process of your character, practice writing emotionally charged scenes, and to flex your own problem-solving muscles. A challenge should be challenging, right?

Each week would be a new, completely different dilemma. Different characters, different world, different problem. That way, contestants can skip a week, join at any point, and not feel obligated to post every time. 

So what do you think? Is anyone interested in this type of challenge? Or do you have any suggestions to make it better?


----------



## Devor

Ailith said:


> So what do you think? Is anyone interested in this type of challenge? Or do you have any suggestions to make it better?



I think you'd be better off making it a Trigger Challenge and letting the entrants decide the dilemma.  I know for me that would be the fun part.  And that would also help the problem of entrants seeing a "solution" to the dilemma which you might not yourself.


----------



## Ailith

Devor said:


> I think you'd be better off making it a Trigger Challenge and letting the entrants decide the dilemma.  I know for me that would be the fun part.  And that would also help the problem of entrants seeing a "solution" to the dilemma which you might not yourself.



Thanks for the feedback!

In this case, the contestants would write the dilemmas themselves? Or they would be presented with several options and then pick? I've already written up about 4 "set ups" in which the dilemmas are presented. They are open ended, and writers can answer or "solve" them however they wish by writing a scene that sort of continues from the set up. Characters and settings are somewhat vague so individual writers can do what they want.


----------



## Devor

Let people come up with their own dilemma.

If you're already committed, start with a trigger challenge and then use it to introduce the weeklies once it's over.  I don't think it's a good idea for everyone to jump on making weekly challenges when the audience for them is still building. But there aren't any triggers people can join right now, so people will join and it will be successful, and that will market not only your weekly challenge, but all of them, when it's done.


----------



## Philip Overby

Yeah, it looks like most of the triggers that were all started at the same time are mostly wrapped up for the moment.  So a new one may be welcomed now.  I'm interested to see where you are going with your challenge idea and I, for one, will most likely join it.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Weekly or Trigger, I'll probably join on general principle. Your entries in Shenoka and Quest of the Week are great, so anything I can do to keep you in the challenge section is worth my time.

The only thing that would stop me is if I really don't have a good story. I may not win all the challenges, but I always post an idea I'm proud of and that I hope is different enough to stand out from the crowd. (I don't know how often I pull that off.)


----------



## Ailith

Devor, thanks for the advice. I think that’s a great idea - I’ll work on revamping it a little and hopefully introduce it as a trigger challenge some time this weekend. 

Sidekick and Phil, glad you’re on board!


----------



## Philip Overby

I'm always open to any new challenges, typically.  I think it's always a good idea to train your "writing muscle."  When I'm not steadily working on something, it helps keep my writing up to snuff.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I finally saw the picture for "a challenge for all." (The picture doesn't show up on my computer at work. I work at a school, so there's a funky block-out-everything feature in the network.)

As in my Year of the Dragon entry, my source of inspiration is a combination of the Chinese zodiac and something personal.


----------



## Ailith

This thread: (if it were a one-eyed alien from the 70's)


----------



## Philip Overby

It is a one eyed alien from the 70s.


----------



## Ailith

Oh good, that makes me feel a little less guilty about trying to kill it. One eyed aliens from the 70s are the worst. Three eyed aliens from the 80s... different story.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Wow... 20+ hours from my post to "I Will Survive." Quite an accomplishment.

More than I can say about my fight today. I came down with the flu yesterday, so I guess not vomiting on my opponent is worth a bronze medal. But my non-vomiting strategy was to not eat at the tournament, which would have been fine if I fought less than seven hours after breakfast.

Despite being hungry and pukey, I got the first scoring hit in the match. Would have been the first two scoring hits if my leg would cooperate. First thing in the fight, I hit my opponent with a sidekick. That would have been great if I didn't kick him below the belt. I don't mean in an America's Funniest Home Videos way. I kicked his hip. That has nothing to do with being sick; I'm not as flexible as I was in the '90s. Next time I see an open stomach, I'll aim my kick at the face so it will actually hit the stomach.

PS- Quest of the Week is up a day early.


----------



## Kaellpae

I'll be posting second. I don't want to decide where in the quest that we start.


----------



## Philip Overby

I'm a little confused how Quest of the Week works.  Could I get a tutorial?


----------



## Kaellpae

For the sake of this thread I will attempt to tutorial you, but Sidekick will probably have something to fix for my tutorial-ness.

Each Sunday, Legendary Sidekick will post a quest that we will flesh out throughout the week. One person starts and sets the tone that each other person will write with. Each person will tell the story through their hero's eyes, building on what previous heroes have already done. When I wrote my introduction I was slightly confused, so my introduction involved things that the previous writers had done, but it still worked because I added more action to the end.. I think. 

I think it's something like everyone working together one post at a time to complete a short story through out the week.

And now that I have you thoroughly confused.. Legendary Sidekick, come save the day!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Kaellpae said:


> For the sake of this thread I will attempt to tutorial you, but Sidekick will probably have something to fix for my tutorial-ness.
> 
> Each Sunday, Legendary Sidekick will post a quest that we will flesh out throughout the week. One person starts and sets the tone that each other person will write with. Each person will tell the story through their hero's eyes, building on what previous heroes have already done. When I wrote my introduction I was slightly confused, so my introduction involved things that the previous writers had done, but it still worked because I added more action to the end.. I think.
> 
> I think it's something like everyone working together one post at a time to complete a short story through out the week.
> 
> And now that I have you thoroughly confused.. Legendary Sidekick, come save the day!


The day doesn't really need saving because this is exactly right.



If I were to add anything, I could give an example of how this week's quest COULD work:

(POST #1) Quest of the Week prompt:


> *Location:* The West Pole
> 
> *Situation:* A shipment of non-lethal Hand Cannon ammunition is being transported here via horse drawn carriage. However, _Stealin Hood and his Fairy Men_ prefer to use non-lethal weaponry when they steal from the rich so they can sell to the poor.
> 
> *Quest Goal A:* Make sure the shipment safely departs the West Pole and arrives here at _Castle Justice._
> *Quest Goal B:* If Hood and his men show up, try to take the bandits alive. None of them are killers, so lethal force could lead to a wrongful death suit.



(POST #2) Let's say Phil is the "first responder." He can start the quest with his character complaining about the mundane task of guarding a shipment of Hand Cannon ammo. Maybe his character is a samurai who thinks the Hand Cannon is a coward's weapon. Or maybe he just hates the sound of horses.

(POST #3) While Phil's monologue was funny and revealed a lot about his character, Kaellpae wants action. That's fine. He can just jump straight into an encounter with Stealin Hood and his Fairy Men. Are the fairy men big, hairy guys who wear pink tutus? Are they little fairies who can be captured easily in butterfly nets? I have no idea what these people are like. Whoever writes these characters first makes that decision.

As far as collaboration with Phil goes, Kaellpae could simply have Lord Frenard mention how "Samurai Phil" finally stopped complaining when Stealin showed up and started swatting Fairy Men out of the sky with his sheathed katana.

_So now I read these entries and I like what I see. I'm thinking the odds are well in your favor. I roll a 6, the bandits beat you up. I roll anything else, you capture them. But I've got a class to teach so I'll roll the die and post later._

(POST #4) However... Ailith comes along and posts before I get a chance to respond. She has Sir Crowyn, Samurai Phil and Lord Frenard defeat the bandits! She's not breaking any kind of a rule by doing this. She just thought that was a natural direction for the story to go in, so she wrote it that way. Not a problem.

_Now I roll the die and a 6 comes up. Great. You guys already defeated the bad guys and I just rolled a number that means something has to go wrong. No problem._

(POST #5) I write that it turns out that Stealin Hood had a smoke bomb with him--which he normally uses to create the illusion of appearing out of nowhere or vanishing. It explodes near an ammo crate, causing ice bullets to go off. One of the playing characters is hit.

I didn't specify who is hit, so...

(POST #6) ...Kaellpae decides that it's not gonna be _his_ character. He describes the chaos as ice bullets freeze Stealin Hood, several Fairy Men, and Samurai Phil. Stealin and three fairy men, who are bound to the fast-moving carriage, slide from their ropes and shatter when they hit the ground. Lord Frenard and Sir Crowyn, both on horseback, quickly veer to either side of Samurai Phil's horse and prevent him from sliding off of his saddle and sharing the bandits' fate.

(POST #7) Phil doesn't like his guy being frozen, so he writes about how the Fairy Men offer to thaw him out with their traditional fire dance in exchange for their freedom...



I guess my example ran a bit long, but I hope you get the idea. Each post is essentially a prompt for whoever writes next.


----------



## Philip Overby

Oh ok, I get it now.


----------



## Caged Maiden

Wow after a solid five hours of political debate tonight, I'm exhausted and feel sort of horrible.  2AM huh... nice.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Not to complicate things too much... (especially now that Phil already gets it. The last thing I wanna do is make him go back to not getting it!) I worked out a system so Quest of the Week characters "level up." That was actually planned from the beginning, but I didn't want to info dump. Basically, you're trying to promote your way from Sidekick to Hero. The "hero" level is actually halfway to the max level, in case the game dies before anyone can max out. Instead of experience points, there are "week points." I think the term is self-explanatory.

Even-numbered level-ups will make your character more powerful. Odd-numbered level-ups will unlock more difficult types of quests, starting with a personalized quest when you reach level 3.


----------



## Philip Overby

When I have some time I'll have to delve into this.  It sounds like something I'd like (considering anything resembling an RPG is cool).


----------



## Caged Maiden

Yeah, the structure is what Shenoka is missing.  It's sort of a free-for-all.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Well... the MFMA was structured, and look how that went.

I'm hoping that by keeping the quests as a weekly thing, people can commit without being overwhelmed or really being "held" to a commitment. As long as _somebody_ is in the quest, there will be more quests. If I get two consecutive weeks with no reply, I'll probably give it up for dead.

If you think it sounds fun, join the quest and keep the game alive.


Or should I follow the reverse psychology of this thread, and challenge everyone to kill it?


----------



## Philip Overby

The MFMA is an example of why you can't get too many writers working on one project (unless they're getting paid.)  I really wished that would have worked out because it was an awesome idea.


----------



## Caged Maiden

There've been a lot of good challenges here.  I'm not a member of any other sites, so I have nothing to compare to, but I love the great work that has come from the challenges on MS.


----------



## Devor

anihow said:


> There've been a lot of good challenges here.  I'm not a member of any other sites, so I have nothing to compare to, but I love the great work that has come from the challenges on MS.



I was looking at a few other writing forums a few weeks ago, and there's some big differences.  I don't understand why some of them have so many more members.


----------



## Caged Maiden

I'm technically a member of another, because I work with a critique group based from another writing site... and frankly, this one is way more fun.  It's easier to use, looks better, and way more people are active here.


----------



## Devor

Yeah, but how's the critiquing?


----------



## Caged Maiden

actually I have only been to one.  They meet in a chat room, but I'm with four published authors, so I consider myself VERY lucky to have been invited.  And, the work I'm reading to offer my two cents on is really top-notch work, so yeah, pretty exciting.


----------



## Philip Overby

There is a Mythic Scribes Critique Group (listed in the Group section) but I'm not sure how the other members are doing.  Having heard any reports back since we all paired off.  But anihow and myself have had some success with our pairing, so I'm glad it's working out in some way.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Are you happy now, Phil? You killed your own thread!

And... I could've saved it! ::guilt::

(Time of death: 6:17 a.m. - 2 hrs, 22 min ago)


----------



## Philip Overby

Sweet!  I'm the winner.

Of nothing.

Feel free to keep posting on its dead corpse.  Or figure out a way to resurrect it.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Resurrection ritual: this thread must receive a post every 12 hours until Thursday, May 17th, 6:17 a.m.

Whoever stops this ritual kills the thread... but that means you _lose_ (nothing) because we're trying _not_ to kill it.

Should that happen, all that's left to do is desecrate its corpse.


----------



## Caged Maiden

Whoopsy, I already looted it's wallet and watch.


----------



## Philip Overby

Give it back!


----------



## Caged Maiden

Finders Keepers...  Always remember to check their pockets.


----------



## Devor

Live, damnit!  THIS THREAD MUST LIVE!!!

So we can kill it again.

Also, I posted a quick-and-easy challenge about editing.  I'm trying to figure out if that same "challenge" format is viable for editing reviews, so it'd be genuinely useful to me if people posted in the challenge.


----------



## Caged Maiden

I'll have a look.  I'm still trying to tie up loose challenge ends, but editing is something I'm working on a lot right now, so might be sad to pass it up.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I'm just here to keep the resurrection going and thank Ailith and Kaellpae for their Quest of the Week posts. Next stop: check Shenoka thread to see what The Cleaner's next move should be.


----------



## Devor

Get out the sparkplugs!  She's life in her yet!


----------



## Philip Overby

Well people have survived after being dead for a couple of hours.  So the thread must have been one of those.


----------



## Caged Maiden

Let it linger a little longer then...


----------



## Kaellpae

The resurrection must have worked.

This is a message for the uninformed. Quest of the Week is fun and you should join.

End broadcast.


----------



## Ireth

Kill this thread, huh?

*writes thread's name in a Death Note*


----------



## Devor

Ireth said:


> Kill this thread, huh?
> 
> *writes thread's name in a Death Note*



No, no.  Now we're trying to save it.

Phil the Drill killed it.  With his wrestling moves.


----------



## Ireth

Oooh, I see. Someone get a defibrillator, then!


----------



## Philip Overby

Yeah, I suplexed it.  Now we need to bring it back.  Wake up, darn you!


----------



## Caged Maiden

Someone besides me is gonna have to do the mouth to mouth.  There's been a lot of people posting on this thread and I'm more than a little concerned about germs.


----------



## Devor

Wow, that was twelve hours.  It's dead.  Phil killed it, again.

Can we start the desecrating of the corpse?  I heard it said once that killing your enemies is evil, but if you eat well and outlive them, it's okay to dance on their graves.


----------



## Ireth

*pokes thread with a stick*


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I like the way Phil desecrates this dead thread!

Since I'm not a wrestler myself, I'll use the moves from the wrestler I know best: Metro City Mayor Mike Haggar:

First, I'll suplex the thread--"HAA-AAH!"--and pile-drive it through a barrel--"HOO-YAA!"--then whack it with a hunk of pipe--*THWACK* *THOOCK* *THONK*--and suplex it again, but this time through a wall--"HAA-AAH!" *CROONCH!*

I'm famished. I think I'll punch an oil drum in half. Yes! I knew there would be a freshly barbecued pig shin inside! I'll just eat the whole thing in one bite, then punch every garbage can on the street until I can find a bottle of whiskey to wash down the three pounds of meat I just devoured.


----------



## Philip Overby

I killed it again?  Really?

#$%@

Oh well, zombie thread go forth!  Kill the unbelievers!


----------



## Ireth

Aaaaagh, zombie thread!


----------



## Caged Maiden

I'll fight it with my super rainbow power!

no seriously if you haven't seen this it's hilarious.  DOUBLE RAINBOW SONG!! (now on iTunes) - YouTube


----------



## Ireth

I've heard that song! XDD It's crazy. I didn't know it was on iTunes!


----------



## Caged Maiden

AND Ghetto Witness.  I wanted to buy that one but just haven't yet.  Oh man the interview is TOO good.


----------



## Devor

This thread's corpse has gotten twitchy.  It's my belief that every post in this thread is infusing it with our own life energies, which the thread is twisting and corrupting with remnant power from the failed resurrection ritual, as well as vibrations of awesomeness still emanating from Phil's death blow.

If we cannot stop posting here, I predict this twitchy dead thread will arise as a liche around post #230.  We must keep that from happening.


----------



## Kaellpae

So if it's being infused with our life energy does that mean that as we post we're slowly killing ourselves as well?


----------



## Devor

Kaellpae said:


> So if it's being infused with our life energy does that mean that as we post we're slowly killing ourselves as well?



If you post enough!  Don't test it.

I could be risking my own life by posting this!


----------



## Ireth

Wait, I thought we were trying to bring this thread back to life? I'm all confused now.


----------



## Kaellpae

I think we're bringing it back to life, but can't post very often or else we'll die as well.

Although I may have to make a thread to kill this thread and hope that the new thread doesn't die or else we'll be in double trouble.


----------



## Sheilawisz

Quiero mi dragÃ³n de la luna, quiero mi ave del terror para montar en ella y que me lleve a todas partes... quiero mi varita mÃ¡gica, mi escoba voladora y mi portal a otra realidad, quiero volar, quiero gritar, quiero llorar de felicidad...


----------



## Devor

The resurrection ritual failed already, it was over 12 hours between post 201 and 202.


----------



## Philip Overby

The original idea was 24 hours, not 12 hours. 

In any case, it can die over and over, I don't care.  It's a zombie now.


----------



## Kaellpae

Long live the zombie lord! Huzzah! Huzzah!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I got its head!

*"Put me down."

*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...


----------



## Devor

No!  Wait!  STOP!!  It's just a twitchy zombie thread!  BUT IT'S GOING TO BE A LICH!

STOP POSTING PEOPLE!

((people seem confused - to kill the thread was 24 hours, to resurrect the thread was 12 hours, both failed...))


----------



## Kaellpae

Resurrection Redo?

I've got a Zombie Head on a Stick. Anyone want some?


----------



## Philip Overby

Barbeque lich head.  Yum.


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

Kaellpae said:


> Resurrection Redo?
> 
> I've got a Zombie Head on a Stick. Anyone want some?



Awww, ZHOAS. I stopped reading Sluggy Freelance recently after about twelve years. It was still funny day-to-day, but I just wasn't enjoying it enough any more.


----------



## Sheilawisz

_Release the Kraken!!!_

(so it can kill this thread once and for all!!)


----------



## Ireth

Sheila, I think what you mean is: 

"Let no joyful voice be heard! Let no man look up to the sky with hope! And let this day be cursed by we who ready to wake... THE KRAKEN!"

:insertevillaughhere


----------



## Philip Overby

Well, I killed it before with a suplex.  So I think the Kraken would probably pulverize it into zombie thread dust.


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

You're kraken me up.


----------



## Philip Overby

So if it's dead, became a zombie, and failed resurrection, then what exactly is it?

Is it dead and we're just desacrating a corpse?  

In other news, go look at the other Challenges.  We got some new ones going on *cheap plug.*


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Speaking of cheap, and plugs, I just released a steamy new book about online sex. I call it "254 Shades of Gray, Only Five of Which Are Web-Safe."

Go to your local library and... oh, that's right. You _can't._ It's _banned._ I guess you'll just have to buy it.


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

Oh god. Fifty Shades of WTF. I'd heard good things about it (or at least that it was amazingly popular). Even Entertainment Weekly had a big ol' article about it.

So I went and looked at the preview on Amazon, and after reading a few paragraphs, I wanted to gouge my eyes out with a shrimp fork.


----------



## Sheilawisz

What?! This thread is not dead yet?

*Sheilawisz gears up with armour and longsword, and then she charges against the seemingly-killed yet persistent zombie thread*

_Saantiaaagoooooo!!!_ Sheilawisz invokes the protection of Saint James as she charges into battle, just like the Spaniards of past centuries of glory and legend-

*slashing, cutting, stabbing into the zombie thread!!*

Now, is the thing dead or _what?_


----------



## Philip Overby

The zombie thread has fled into the mountains.  Sheilawisz had wounded it greatly but it still lived, hobbling up to the old castle of the Goblin. 

"I am infinity!"

I want this thread to be a mixture of just talking crap, actual information, and storytelling.  Hybrid zombie news entertainment.  

Boom!


----------



## Hans

What's with this zombie? Isn't any vodunista here who can get a zombie to do some serious work?


----------



## Philip Overby

V00d00!!!  Y00D00!


----------



## Butterfly

Whew, that was close!!!

You cast that last spell with moments to spare, thus saving the entire cosmos from impending doom.

All hail Phill and his Drill from the mill on top of the hill!!!


----------



## Kaellpae

Benjamin Clayborne said:


> Awww, ZHOAS. I stopped reading Sluggy Freelance recently after about twelve years. It was still funny day-to-day, but I just wasn't enjoying it enough any more.



I read it in bursts. The last I read of it was in October last year, and now I'm all caught up.

I've heard that it's in the end game. One last big story to tie up all of the loose ends. I'm mostly curious about the Oasis story arc than anything. Also hoping Torg and Zoe end up together finally.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Benjamin Clayborne said:


> Oh god. Fifty Shades of WTF. I'd heard good things about it (or at least that it was amazingly popular). Even Entertainment Weekly had a big ol' article about it.
> 
> So I went and looked at the preview on Amazon, and after reading a few paragraphs, I wanted to gouge my eyes out with a shrimp fork.


I'm not one to dump all over successful authors normally. I mean, I'm not big on boy wizards, but when J.K. Rowling got big, I thought, good for her. My students (in Hong Kong) were really into it. I found it beautiful that so many Chinese kids were enjoying a book in their second (or third) language.

But when I heard about 50 Shades on a local radio show--the book ban, and a lawyer talking to the host about how any library has the right to ban, but it's really good publicity, and who has the right to say it's not literary enough?--those bits and pieces made the whole thing stink to me. I mean, it sounds like the ban was desirable. It's hard to engineer such a thing, I suppose, but there's no question that this book is getting a lot of buzz and if you want to read it you have to buy it.

When the lawyer used the phrase "not literary enough," I suspected the writing was subpar and it's just a book full of sexy scenes. I don't want to want to gouge my eyes out, so I'll take your response to mean that I'm probably right, or close enough, about the quality of this book.


----------



## Kaellpae

Are we keeping it alive at 12 or 24 hours now? Or is it just being desecrated? Myabe this is where topics go to die?

Are we making a discussion graveyard?


----------



## Philip Overby

I don't know.  This is where any random crap you want to talk about goes to die (or live.)  

It's taken on it's on form.  It should be dead, but yet it still goes on.


----------



## Kaellpae

So it's a god now? Or maybe it's Limbo.


----------



## Philip Overby

It's dead now.  RIP Thread.


----------



## Ireth

Awww, poor thread. Should someone compose a eulogy for it? XD


----------



## Philip Overby

Poor thread.  You had 25 pages, and 243 entries.  And now you're dead.

Peace out.

Anyone else like to share any words?


----------



## Ireth

Alas, poor thread! I knew it, Phil: a thread of infinite craziness and most excellent fun, now finally deceased. It put up a valiant struggle, and for that we commend it. But its time is passed, and the rest is silence. It shall be missed.


----------



## Caged Maiden

Thread, you still owe me five bucks! _Kicks the limp thread. _


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Thread flops over.

Coins fly up.

The Sidekick takes five gold.

He leaves the Cracked Buckler behind.



(^Diablo III-style corpse search)


----------



## Janga

This thread has been locked.


----------



## Ireth

Good one, Janga. XD


----------



## Philip Overby

But seriously, should we lock it?  If we don't it will go on forever.


----------



## Caged Maiden

I think people are in love with the thread.  We have no other plce to post complete uselessness and weird thoughts.  BTW I had two roadrunners in my yard today.  I snapped three pics before they ran off and posted it on Facebook.


----------



## Philip Overby

Everyone hates to love this thread.  Or loves to hate it.  

I'm hungry.


----------



## Butterfly

Some cheeky idiot has pinched the village post box!!! - I am outraged.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

anihow said:


> I had two roadrunners in my yard today. I snapped three pics before they ran off and posted it on Facebook.


All I had to show my girls was a dead snake (at the end of the driveway last night) and a rabbit (by the pool this morning).

I shouldn't be surprised at the lack of roadrunners. We hear lots of coyotes, and there aren't any cliffs or anvil factories in the area, making it impossible for the roadrunners to defend themselves against their natural enemy.


----------



## Devor

Is anybody still working on their MFMA challenge?  Are we calling it?

If that challenge is officially dead, I was thinking about using Vollifer and Balu-Balu and Mordile and other new characters, and working on my own version of the challenge - no particular timeline, just to have fun with it.  I'd use the first fight, tweak it a bit, and write more fights when I have the time, if nobody minds.

But is it done?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I gave it up for dead weeks ago.


----------



## Devor

Legendary Sidekick said:


> I gave it up for dead weeks ago.



So would you mind if I wrote a fight for Mordile outside the MFMA and repatriated the Vollifer fight?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Of course not. In fact, I'd love to read that!

...and of course, now you get to decide whether or not he wins!


----------



## Philip Overby

How did the MFMA tournament die twice?  I feel like I'm having deja vu.  

In any case, if it's dead for good now (I still don't know why), why don't we vote who we thought was going to win the whole thing, and why?  That could be fun!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

It died twice in part because I wasn't pushing for participation. I figure if it's not fun enough for participants to keep it going, my pushing it isn't going to make it more fun. I teach high school. If I'm going to push people to do something they're not convinced will be fun or worth putting effort into, I prefer to be paid for it.



I predict Bazil would have won.

The reason I think that: I was the one flipping the coin, and the coin disobeyed the Law of Averages and only came up tails once. The person on the left was heads, and Bazil was positioned all the way to the left.

He was winning in both the original and the re-rolled version.


----------



## Devor

Legendary Sidekick said:


> I predict Bazil would have won.



That reminds me.



			
				Bazil v. Vollifer said:
			
		

> Leopards loomed over the sprawled form of the general.  The golden mane of Bazil Whirlwhick held him flat like a dinner plate.  The birds, the skies, and the very earth bent to Bazil's command.  But Whirlwhick didn't move.  He was listening to the leopards' growls, and he began to chuckle.
> 
> "Stop!" Bazil said loudly to the beasts, and they obeyed.  "I'm always in search for another strong animal companion."  He pointed to the chariot, and a large vulture swooped upon the silver and gold carriage, latched its talons around a vial of swirling green and red potion, and carried it back to Bazil's hands.  He took it with a smile.
> 
> "Raise your voices!" he called to the crowds all around him, holding up the small potion flask for everyone to see, "if you want to watch a vile human being TRANSFORMED into my obedient vial beast!"
> 
> From every direction the crowd thundered and cheered and stomped their feet against the bleachers.  Bazil's fans stripped off their shirts and struck muscled, flexing poses.  Cat calls and whistles echoed through the ring.  Some of the younger women looked jealously upon General Vollifer, yearning for his fate.
> 
> Baz - il - Whirl - whick! - Baz - il - Whirl - whick!
> 
> Bazil held out his finger and gave a disapproving, panoramic point to the crowd.  They stopped their cheering for a long and awkward moment.  Then Bazil began to laugh, and the crowds followed suit.
> 
> Luck - y - Whick - ey! - Luck - y - Whick - ey!
> 
> "This wick BURNS!" he bellowed out to the bleachers, and flashes of smoke and fire puffed up from every corner of the stands.  The crowds roared back to him.
> 
> Amid their cheers Bazil approached the prone figure locked in his hair.  General Vollifer struggled against the strained golden strands.  As Bazil neared, Vollifer pulled one of his wrists to the scabbard at his side, where he managed to slice the hairs against the General's Blade.  Shaking his hand free, Vollifer drew the sword and struck it through the web of gold.  Hairs flecked upon the ground.
> 
> "Burn you will," Vollifer yelled, getting to his feet and holding out his sword.  "Be certain your pyre will be hot."
> 
> The crowds began to hiss and the leopards began to circle.  Bazil held up his hands for silence, then he clasped them together.  Vines shot up from the ground and wrapped around Vollifer's legs and arms, yanking the sword out of his hand.  The crowds burst with cheers.
> 
> Bazil approached with the vial, and Vollifer spat in his face.  "I'm still going to kill you," he snapped and the crowd gasped.  Bazil laughed.  Vines and trimmed golden hairs reached out and worked together to hold open Vollifer's jaw.
> 
> "This won't be as hard to swallow," Bazil said as he shoved the opening of the vial into Vollifer's throat and forced his mouth closed.  Then he stepped back.
> 
> Vollifer's face turned red and a little green.  He coughed violently, spitting out blood.  His jaw swelled and his body cringed.  And then he let out a scream louder than the crowds, more painful to the ears of onlookers than even Bazil's puns.  The irises of his eyes darkened to yellow, then brown, then black.  His pupils faded out, then flashed red like they were backlit with fire.  Horns shot up from his head and tusks lurched out from his jaw.  His body turned green; his face, blood red.  Claws sprouted from his toes and fingers while a scaled green tail writhed in fits as it sprung from his rump.  Then his back grew heavy and his breasts swelled forward, breaking open his armor with a clang and thunk upon the ground.  His chest was like tightened leather, but the rest of his leering frame was bedecked in scales.  Vollifer rose up nine - then twelve feet, a great beast looming over Bazil with a roar that was faintly heard amid the deafening cries of the crowd.  Then the leather of his chest began to move and unfold to spread out behind him, a pair of massive red wings as wide as the ring.
> 
> The lead leopard of the general's chariot could be drugged separately, released from the chariot and sent upon Vollifer's foes; this was one of its potions, an expensive concoction as risky as it is effective.  In a massive overdose, Vollifer had become a twisted cross between a demon and a dragon, the wrong kind of beast for a druid to control.
> 
> "Uhm . . . oops," Bazil croaked.


----------



## Kaellpae

I don't know most of the characters in the MFMA challenges. Otherwise I would have jumped in on it.

For the challenges I'm currently in. I only have time to write during the weekend, but I try to brainstorm throughout the week. Sorry for my erratic posting times.


----------



## Caged Maiden

*Ranieri vs. Baird*

The new blade was lighter than he’d have liked, but it was the only replacement Ranieri could find for his broken shiavona.  He was of course schooled in the tactics of many blades, but he preferred his wide cutting sword to the thrusting blades the southern masters preferred.  With Guerrante off his back for the moment, Ranieri had spent what little money he had left on some new trinkets. 

Baird.  Ranieri hadn’t seen his opponent’s fight, but he heard of it in the tavern as he celebrated his own victory over a pint.  Actually, Ranieri was anticipating a good show.  Baird had the good fortune of fighting the only other gentleman the tournament boasted, and if their last matches were any indication of what was to come, the odds should be even.
As Baird strode confidently into the courtyard, Ranieri pulled the strings of his cape.

“You are on time,” Baird smiled smugly, pocketing his timepiece.  “Good, I like a man who turns up punctually to die.”

Ranieri chuckled.  He’d fought many men in his lifetime, and one fact rang forever true, the pretty ones could only stand the sight of blood when it wasn’t their own.  “I am merely ready to get this over with,” he called confidently.  “This tournament only has room for one sharp dresser.  I guess we shall see today who moves on.”

“Indeed.”  The gentleman tugged at the bottom of his pinstriped waistcoat and then dusted the shoulder of his wool jacket, but not before Ranieri caught the glint of metal from within it.

So there would be more than blades pulled before it was done, Ranieri thought, glad he’d taken the time to purchase his new additions.  He’d need a full arsenal to compete with the inventive weapons the mysterious foreigner had used before.

As the adjudicator left the field, Ranieri drew his new blade and stepped into an angled stance, making him lighter on his feet in case a pistol should appear first.  

Baird drew a slender blade, not unlike the one in Ranieri’s hand.  Rapiers.  So it would be a match of wits after all.

Closing the distance quickly, Ranieri advanced, feinted and thrust, Baird easily sidestepping.  It was expected, and Ranieri spun his cape around, catching his opponent’s blade up.  Baird withdrew, regaining his blade.  Pain burst in Ranieri’s left arm and warmth spread with the red stain.  

Ranieri retreated, and as soon as he was at a safe distance drew the small metal projectile from his arm.  So the first blood was his.  He clumsily flung the metal star back in Baird’s direction.

Baid lunged, narrowly missing Ranieri’s sword arm, and Ranieri again used his cape, this time to catch Baird’s sword hand.  He pulled the strings, immobilizing the arm across his own body.  With his blade ineffective and he off balance, he struck his opponent in the side of the head with his hilt.  Baird staggered back as Ranieri readied for another attack.

Back and forth the two men advanced and retreated.  A few more sloppy thrusts were thrown, but none landed.  Baird was better with a sword than Ranieri had given him credit for.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Anihow, did you have this written but just not know where to post?

In any case, I love it! I hope the MFMA didn't die from confusion.


Kaellpae, no problem about posting times. Your writing is awesome, so jump into whatever challenges you can. (Also, don't forget your guy leveled in Quest of the Week.)


----------



## Caged Maiden

No one else posted... I say we try to run a season 2.  I want to resurrect Shenoka as well for a season 2.


----------



## Philip Overby

I forgot to post a Weekly Prompt this week!  Agh!  Oh well, I'll post it next week.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

It's Monday. I can work with...

Well, it's bed time in Japan, going on Tuesday. I can see how it seems too late to start the prompt from your perspective.

Shenoka Season 2 is more than welcome. The Cleaner wants to do a job for Foulshade. I have other plans for her, too.

Also, the new Quest of the Week is up. Anyone who's thinking about joining that, feel free to bring a character on board and jump right in for some make-it-up-as-you-along adventuring.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

The Legendary Sidekick proudly presents:
*The Bummer of the Day

*I was just checking my yahoo email, which normally highlights emails from prople in your address book. One of those highlighted emails was from my karate teacher. The other was from R.A. Salvatore.

I thought, oh cool! I haven't heard from Bob in a couple years. What's he want from me?

Nothing. It was one of those junk mails that pulls a random address. Apparently, today is the day my junk mail folder fails to weed this stuff out.

And that, my friends, is *the Bummer of the Day*.


(Fade to black.

Cue Mozart's_ Requiem in D Minor: Intoitus and Lacrimosa.)_


----------



## Philip Overby

Poo poo.  Sorry to hear that Sidekick.  

Maybe this will lift you up?  

I was just thinking, what is the longest thread on Mythic Scribes?  Is it this one?  Surely there must be one longer.  Anyone who can report back to me and tell me, then I'll give you a (digital) cookie.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

This is the longest thread in the challenge forum. Ironically, it's the thread that was supposed to die.

If anyone can guess why Mozart's_ Requiem in D Minor: Intoitus and Lacrimosa_ is the official theme music for *The Bummer of the Day*, I'll give you some digital milk to go with the digital cookie... and two digital glasses, in case the cookie winner and milk winner are different people and have to share.



EDIT - I win the cookie. This is the longest thread. 2nd & 3rd place can be found in the World Building forum. ("What is essentially good and evil?" with 255 replies and "Show your map" with 252.)


Now, someone hurry up and win the digital milk before I eat Phil's cookie and drink the milk myself.

(Milk currently in fridge while I wait for Phil to hand over the cookie.)


----------



## Philip Overby

Here's the cookie.  

*Picture not inserted due to laziness*

Wow, I can't believe this is the longest thread.  Even though it's died like 5 times.  

Answer:  Anything in D Minor is really depressing?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

No milk for you!

(Eats cookie; drinks milk.)



Second chance: Of all the despressing tunes in D Minor, why did I go out of my way to specifically pick Mozart's_ Requiem in D Minor: Intoitus and Lacrimosa_ for the theme music for *The Bummer of the Day*?

Winner gets a glass of milk _with kahlua.
_


Easier question. What is the most-viewed thread in MS?

Winner gets a glass of chocolate milk... and a brownie if you tell how many views.


----------



## Philip Overby

Looks like "Fantasy Cliches to Avoid."  2,119 views.  Is that it?  

Answer #2:  Lacrimosa means bummer in Latin?


----------



## Ailith

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Second chance: Of all the despressing tunes in D Minor, why did I go out of my way to specifically pick Mozart's_ Requiem in D Minor: Intoitus and Lacrimosa_ for the theme music for *The Bummer of the Day*?


Cause it's a bummer that Mozart died before he could finish it? I got to play for it once, and it's just one of those pieces that is powerful no matter how many times you hear it. Imagine how much more amazing it would be if he had finished it!

Or maybe you're using it as an homage to 30 Rock's homage to Amadeus? (ok, that a long shot, but that's one of the best 30 Rock episodes ever.)

Whatever the reason, good pick.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Ailith gets a sip for guessing it's a homage. But watch out... Reaver's here, and he might get it.

2,000 isn't even close to the most-viewed. No milk for you!


----------



## Reaver

The most viewed thread...THE FIRST EVER REAVER TRIGGER CHALLENGE?

MILK AND KAHLUA is the drink of JEFF LEBOWSKI in "THE BIG LEBOWSKI".

F**K IT WALTER.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Close enough, Reaver.

[video=youtube_share;24Vlt-lpVOY]http://youtu.be/24Vlt-lpVOY[/video]

As for the most-viewed thread, I'm talking about the whole site... but yes, your Reaver challenged dethroned my Legendary Sidekick challenge.



Reaver gets half a glass of milk (Ailith's fault for taking too big a sip), and the other half is filled with kahlua. As a result, the milk and kahlua looks exactly like chocolate milk and Reaver drank the wrong glass.

To win a glass of milk with too great a kahlua-to-milk ratio, guess the most-viewed thread on the site. If you include the view-count, I'll add some digital vodka to the milk with too great a kahlua-to-milk ratio and call it a Tan Russian.

(I'd offer the brownie like before, but Reaver ate it to wash the horrible taste from the chocolate milk. You'll have to ask him how that would solve the problem, and not just be an excuse to eat the brownie that he didn't win.)


----------



## Philip Overby

I give up.  What's the most viewed thread?  

At this rate it's going to be this one if I keep posting asinine stuff.

EDIT:  Anybody care to share their map?  In the world-building.  6,477 views.

Wow, really?  I guess maps are cooler than I thought.

New challenge, maybe it's easy.  Which member has the highest number of reputation points?  Ohhhhhh...


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

The map thread might be #2. The most-viewed has a much higher number than 6,000.


No Tan Russian for you!


----------



## Ailith

Thoughts On Self-Publishing!!! 11,503 views. 

Thanks for giving me a way to procrastinate doing my laundry


----------



## Philip Overby

Dang.  Self-publishing?  Really?  Oh well.  I lose again.  Let's see if we can get 12,000 views.  Uh, yeah...

So any answers to my question?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Ailith said:


> Thoughts On Self-Publishing!!! 11,503 views.


All your base belong to... I mean... A WINNER IS YOU!!

And it's just as well you won the Tan Russian since it's the same glass you sipped from earlier.

Flashback:


Legendary Sidekick said:


> Ailith gets a sip for guessing it's a homage.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Black Dragon - 577 pts.


----------



## Ailith

Legendary Sidekick said:


> All your base belong to... I mean... A WINNER IS YOU!!
> 
> And it's just as well you won the Tan Russian since it's the same glass you sipped from earlier.
> 
> Flashback:


All your booze are belong to ME!


----------



## Philip Overby

Well, that sucks.  I lost.  

So another quiz:  Which member has the most posts?  Maybe it's Black Dragon again, but let's check anyway!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Devor... just a guess. The only people with 1000+ posts are Lotus, Devor, BD and... holy crap... me! And there's probably a few others I don't know about, but my bet's on Devor.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Devor = 13XX posts.
BD = 102X posts.
And this post ties me up with Blue Lotus at 1018.


----------



## Devor

You forgot Ravana. I did a double take when I realized I passed him. Also Steerpike is a DarkLord as well.


----------



## Philip Overby

I've almost reached 1,000.  About 500 of which have been this thread.  That Moderator flag gets in the way of my real title, which I guess is Drill Master 9000.


----------



## Reaver

Well, when you all obtain the title of REAVER, then you can start patting yourselves on the back.


----------



## Caged Maiden

I think I might have been a Reaver in a past life, does that count?


----------



## Philip Overby

OK, new challenge.  What story in the Showcase has the most comments?


----------



## Caged Maiden

http://mythicscribes.com/forums/showcase/3285-winters-queen-synopsis-help.html


----------



## Ireth

Wow, really? Do I get a prize or anything for it being my thread? XDDD


----------



## Reaver

*Easy answer*



Phil the Drill said:


> OK, new challenge. What story in the Showcase has the most comments?



*THE FIRST EVER REAVER TRIGGER CHALLENGE**[SUP]tm[/SUP].
                                    (Replies: 180   Views: 1,950)

*If this isn't the right answer, it should be.


----------



## Reaver

anihow said:


> I think I might have been a Reaver in a past life, does that count?



Sorry. Past lives, although very cool, do not count.


----------



## Caged Maiden

Well then I must make it my goal in this life.  From this day forth I will strive to always be a Reaver in all things.  I will live by the Reaver code and make any enemy of the Reavers my sworn enemy as well.

Better?

I'll be needing directions to the induction ceremony BTW.


----------



## Reaver

anihow said:


> Well then I must make it my goal in this life.  From this day forth I will strive to always be a Reaver in all things.  I will live by the Reaver code and make any enemy of the Reavers my sworn enemy as well.
> 
> Better?
> 
> I'll be needing directions to the induction ceremony BTW.




CONGRATULATIONS!
You're officially the first soldier in THE REAVER ARMY.


----------



## Caged Maiden

Can I design my own uniform?


----------



## Reaver

anihow said:


> Can I design my own uniform?



Of course you can. Besides, my army doesn't issue uniforms. It's pretty much wear what you want.


----------



## Caged Maiden

Hmm... Nano is killing me.  If I sew today I make $100.  If I write I might stab myself in the eye with a pen... decision NOT made.


----------



## Reaver

anihow said:


> Hmm... Nano is killing me.  If I sew today I make $100.  If I write I might stab myself in the eye with a pen... decision made.



Hey kiddo...F the F'ing F'ers.  'Nuff said.


----------



## Caged Maiden

So since it's Kill the thread, I just want to share:

What a wonderful day.  I can hardly move, but that's the thing about pain... it lets you know you're alive.

I woke at 4AM after accidentally passing out at 8 last night.  Whoops.  So rather than wake my house full of kids of my hubby (who passed out on the couch) I took my dog out for a walk.  So we headed up the bike path at a good clip for a sedentary beotch and an 11 year old 80-pound lap dog, and when we hit the next major street, we just kept going.  I tried to jog a lot of the way, but it's unpleasant with a leash in my hand, and tripping over my ill-behaved mutt.  We did somewhere around 2.5 to 3 miles and came home about 45 minutes after setting out, the house still quiet.  Between his panting and my fear of waking the little ones, we headed out to the back garden.  I had a brief shower in the garden hose and then went out to pull weeds from my veggie patch in the morning's first light.  

About an hour later I went in and noticed children stirring so I got them breakfast and while my hubby caught up on sleep in bed I got everyone dressed and about 7:30 we all left the house to get some groceries.  Early morning shopping rocks!

So then I wrote about 2k words, made lunch, played in my garden, planted more flowers and strawberries, and cleaned up my back yard from the storm we had a few days ago.  

I had a nap from 2-4PM and woke in time to make dinner and head out the door for the first day of fencing academy.  OMG it was so fun.  I can barely move after two solid hours of footwork drills, but my friends are so cool and sometimes it's just nice to get out and get some fresh air and exercise (and the adult company is always welcome in my world of kiddie cartoons and picking up toys).  Sure I'll have some bruises and be sore as hell tomorrow, but I really have been stressed about Nano and my WIP.  I needed a good day.

Hope you all are having a good day as well.


----------



## R.S.Robertson

I am sooooo tired!  I'm going to bed.


----------



## Caged Maiden

What ev's.  I sewed, made my hundred bucks, and wrote as well.  And mopped my kitchen and den, and worked in the garden... you can try Nano but you will never succeed.  I'm made of sterner stuff than that.


----------



## Philip Overby

I had no clue who Caged Maiden was.  Now I know!  I've got about 13K on my NaNo now.  I'm going to make it!


----------



## Devor

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Devor = 13XX posts.
> BD = 102X posts.
> And this post ties me up with Blue Lotus at 1018.



Steerpike snuck past me.  I don't know if I'll ever catch him again.


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

Man, I'm way behind! Time to set up a posting bot. *shifty eyes*


----------



## Reaver

If I locked this thread, does that count as killing it?


----------



## gavintonks

was offered a merle great dane and being one of the few dogs I have wanted to own said yes, my god she is 6 months old and already as tall as a table, her paws are massive she is huge, did I mention how big a 6 month great dane can be?


----------



## Philip Overby

Shameless promotion.  Check out the Write a Story Death Match challenge.  You can immortalize your character in mortal combat (or Mortal Kombat?) with other MS members.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Another shameless promotion: a new Quest of the Week is up. I didn't get around to posting one last week, but don't think I was abandoning these. I just got busy with work.


----------



## Reaver

And yet another shameless promotion:


http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.241622659284580.54828.100003105425806&type=3



If you want to know the REAL Reaver...check out my Facebook page and while you're there, be my friend!!


----------



## Philip Overby

Reaver you should totally join that challenge I posted.  It's your chance to fight in another tournament!  And Sidekick too!  And anyone else that has yet to abandon this thread.  

http://mythicscribes.com/forums/challenges/3772-write-story-death-match-challenge.html


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

The thing I love about weekly prompts is that I always find a way to extend the story. I hope it's cool to double-post.


----------



## Ireth

So yup, I'm pretty hooked on My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I don't even know what's so addictive about this show!


----------



## gavintonks

did I tell you how big Great Danes are? they are much bigger than my little ponies,and my colt thinks he has a new plaything


----------



## Philip Overby

Speaking of horses...wait a minute...Nevermind, this is about snakes.

Season 3 of the Endless Hunt is almost underway.  We need some brave hunters to step forward to join the game!  The first two seasons were a lot of fun, so if you're into monster hunting text-based role-playing, come check it out.  (I created the concept, but it has since been improved by both Legendary Sidekick and Ravana).  Ravana will be running this season so jump aboard!

http://mythicscribes.com/forums/machiavel-ambition/3821-endless-hunt-season-3-snakes-why-did-have-snakes.html


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Now's a good time to create a new hunter. I just added two new skills for Season 3.

Character creation is explained here. Short version: choose a class, a strength and a weakness for your character(s). You need to click that link to know what your choices are, so I guess my short version isn't really that helpful.


EDIT- I'm happy with my new strength called "The Power of Meat!" Oh... I know some of you haven't seen this. Go ahead. Click it. It's the only animation I've ever made in my life.


----------



## Reaver

*BANG! BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!

*Why won't this f**king thread die already?


----------



## Caged Maiden

It's already dead Reaver.  We're just dancing on its grave now.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

*slips on thread's guts*

Ow.



For some reason, the mental image of me slipping on the dead thread's guts reminded my of my two-year-old's nosebleeed last night. I was reading a Dr. Suess ABC book when blood poured out of her right nostril. What stopped the bleeding, finally, was this "blood blob" that came out of her nose. It was this dark red thing about the size and shap of a slug.

My daughter said, "Look! I'm all better, Daddy." Then she looked at her pajamas, which have little poodles on them and said, "Oh! My dogs are yucky."


Anyway, that's what the dead thread looks like now that we've all danced on its corpse and Reaver shot it several times. It's a blood blob. It's ten times the size of a man, this beast we've killed. Two thousand pounds of mush, and I fear it keeps getting bigger with every post! It will consume us all if we don't... stop... dancing...!

_Can't stop!

_*busts moves as if possessed by the spirit of Michael Jackson*


----------



## Reaver

Legendary Sidekick said:


> *busts moves as if possessed by the spirit of Michael Jackson*



South Park; Dead Celebrities: Billy Mays & Michael Jackson Video - Pinkbike


The last four minutes of this may seem familiar to you then...


----------



## Caged Maiden

My 6 year old wants to watch South Park all the time now on Netflix because he thinks it's a kid show... Whoops.


----------



## Philip Overby

We have a dilemma.  The Interdimensional Cantina is trying to overtake us.  We have a new mission:

Post as much asinine crap here as possible in this thread.  We cannot allow their thread to live longer than this zombie one.  

Keep us above the number of replies.  Our asinine ramblings must not be taken over by an actually productive and fun challenge.


----------



## Ireth

Who says the Cantina is overtaking this thread? This one has twice the posts!


----------



## Reaver

*Skeleton Warriors?*

**Pulls pin...tosses M-67 fragmentation grenade at this thread*
*​*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!​**
DIE! DIE DIE DIE!!! 
*​*
(Okay...I've just about had it with this thread...I've shot it and blown it up and it still wont f**king die! It just keeps reassembling itself like those f**king skeleton warriors in the original Castlevania!)*


----------



## Ireth

We should nickname the thread Rasputin or something, for how many times we've tried to kill it. XDDD The Thread that Wouldn't Die!


----------



## Caged Maiden

What's in your head, in your head.
Zombie, Zombie, Zombie, Zombie.


----------



## Ireth

Hahaha, I love that song! XDDD


----------



## Caged Maiden

There's no need to argue anymore. 
I gave all I could, but it left me so sore. 
And the thing that makes me mad, 
Is the one thing that I had, 

I knew, I knew, 
I'd lose you. 
You'll always be special to me, 
Special to me, to me. 

And I remember all the things we once shared, 
Watching T.V. movies on the living room armchair. 
But they say it will work out fine. 
Was it all a waste of time. 

'Cause I knew, I knew, 
I'd lose you. 
You'll always be special to me, 
Special to me, to me. 

Will I forget in time, ah, 
You said I was on your mind.
There's no need to argue, 
No need to argue anymore. 
There's no need to argue anymore.


----------



## Philip Overby

Ireth said:


> Who says the Cantina is overtaking this thread? This one has twice the posts!



It's grown a lot in a very short time.  So I see it eventually overtaking it.  So I want the zombie thread to remain strong in the face of an overwhelming complete death.


----------



## Ireth

Oooh, gotcha. XD


----------



## Philip Overby

We have some poems.  Nice.  Even though Reaver tries to kill it, we'll keep digging it up.


----------



## Ireth

Whyyyy did I decide to have one of my characters speak entirely in rhyming couplets? ._.; Turning simple dialogue into poetry is freaking hard sometimes.


----------



## Caged Maiden

Argh, that's right Phil.  I've got me shovel an' a map.  I'll set me lads to the diggin' while we dine on the finest fare in town.  We need us some saucy wenches front an' center to go an' fetch us some dinner from the Cantina.  What?  We can't eat their food either?  But I've had me fill o' stale bread and boiled beans!


----------



## Reaver

*I am a real American!*



phil the drill said:


> we have some poems. Nice. Even though reaver tries to kill it, we'll keep digging it up.



*Ohh yeah brother...lemme tell ya somethin' Phil da "Drill"...screw all this pansy bullcrap and bring yer sorry excuse for a screen name over the the ring at the Death Match Challenge where The Reaver is gonna give ya a lesson in ass-kickin' 101!!!*


----------



## Caged Maiden

Yar, where'd that new lad go.  Someone fetch a mop an' bucket and prepare to swab the decks.  These two are about to start fighting with fists an' foreheads, an' I'll not be slippin' on bloody planks.  Clean up in aisle two!


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

This thread is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.


----------



## Reaver

*Mentat, anyone?*

*It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.*


----------



## Reaver

*You complete me, Mythic Scribes...*

Hello.  I'm looking for my wife. Wait...If this is where it has to happen, 

then this is where it has to happen.  I'm not letting you get rid of me.

How about that? This used to be my specialty. I was good in a living room.

And now, I just...Tonight...our little company had a very big night.

A very, very big night.




But it wasn't complete. It wasn't nearly close to being complete. I couldn't 

share it with you. I couldn't hear your voice. I couldn't laugh about it with 

you. I missed my... I missed my wife. We live in a cynical world. And we work 

in a business of tough competitors. 



I love you. You... complete me.


----------



## gavintonks

my dog died tonight he been with me for 13 years, died while he was dreaming quite poignant


----------



## Reaver

This just in: There are conflicting reports that there has been an assassination attempt on my character!

Details to follow!


----------



## Ireth

I'm sorry about your dog, Gavin. I know how it feels to lose a pet... I've lost many of them before.


----------



## Caged Maiden

Aw Gavin I'm so sorry.  I share a special bond with my dog too, in fact, I have several pictures up here of him.  He's going to be twelve this fall.  I hope his passing was peaceful and that you can remember the good times during this sad time and that it brings you comfort.


----------



## gavintonks

Thanks for the wishes yes he died in his sleep having a good dream about running somewhere, he had a good innings and a full life and for a lab was well past his sell by date, he waited till the new dogs had settled in and  then past on. Are they not just so amazing, I mean he did not eat for days but found the energy to go in and out and lie in the sun, then he went behind the house and fell into a deep sleep, to a place he never went, it is always sad loosing them


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Sorry to hear about your dog, Gavin. I know how it feels to raise a pet for a decade plus. Losing a pet is like losing a member of the family.


----------



## Philip Overby

Sorry about your dog as well.  I wish I had a dog.


----------



## Reaver

Reaver said:


> This just in: There are conflicting reports that there has been an assassination attempt on my character!
> 
> Details to follow!



Well now it seems that this announcement was a tad hasty, so please disregard. Sorry about your dog, Gavin.


----------



## gavintonks

Hi thanks everyone Reaver well glad your character is still alive to live to tell another tail, sorry tale

It is so strange not to see him lying in the sun outside in one of his favorite spots, I think that is the hardest.We have re-homed 2 Labradors and a 6 month old great Dane puppy, he waited till they settled in and then left us, so we have a room full of dog now as in the words of Shakespeare, "parting is such sweet sorrow."


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Phil the Drill said:


> I wish I had a dog.


I think pets are no longer an option for me--especially dogs. My two-year-old loves dogs, but she'll freak out at the sight of any dog, even a toy poodle. I have to lift her onto my shoulders. Once she's safe up there, she tells me how cute the dog is and says, "Hi, doggie!"

EDIT - This thread will be the first in the challenge forum to hit 2000 views.


"Toga! Toga! Toga... _two thousand!"_
 ~Jim Belushi as portrayed on _The Simpsons_


----------



## Caged Maiden

My poor dog has the opposite stance.  I got him when I was 21, then the next year I got married and the dog got chucked out of the bed and replaced by my husband.  Then three years later I disappeared for a few days and came home with a baby (that he didn't even notice at first because he was so happy to see me).  Three more kids and five years later, he's almost twelve and amazingly tolerant of being kicked in the face, ignored for days on end, STARVING because I forget to feed him for a day or two... I mean if dogs could be saints, I nominate Saint Orion, because he's surely the most family-friendly dog I've ever met.  Saint Guinefort - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I leave the gate open and he doesn't run away, I forget to give him water until I catch him drinking from the toilet, I vacuum him with the vacuum cleaner and shave off his hair becauseIi can't be bothered to brush him and chase hairballs.  He gets kicked and stepped on on a daily basis (partially his own fault for lying in doorways), he hangs his head in shame when I shout at the kids for feeding him from the table, and since our mulberry tree has been fruiting he hasn't been cuddled because he plays outside and gets the berries stuck to him.  I need to give him a bath...

Dogs are a joy, and here he is, lying on the floor beside me as I'm typing.  

@Sidekick.  Maybe try a big dog.  My kids are well used to animals, but little dogs can be hyperactive and scary (not to mention nippy and aggressive).  Take her to a dog park once and expose her to well-adjusted, friendly, socialized animals and maybe she will get over her fears.  My old dog is perfect because he doesn't jump on people.  Sure, he'll slobber them with love and cover them with hair if they let him crawl in their lap, but he only does that stuff to people who don't tell him "no".


----------



## gavintonks

I have decided to order a truck load of sand and lay it in the house it is easier than sweeping out the half a bucket a day now. The stallion loves standing in the cottage his son does as well now his mom was looking for him and ran past the front door not seeing him parking off in the entrance. The new very large 6 month great dane and 2 x lab setter crosses are expertly designed to move sand, could be a story there, we get very dry here now no rain until October and the ground just drys everything is covered in dust, so even the worlds best weather comes with a dust ticket for 5 months and the off cold morning which we are not used to


----------



## Caged Maiden

I've only been here momentarily the past few weeks.  I just wanted to let people know that Nano has been pretty demanding of my time.  I've got several things puling me in many directions and I will finish them all, but I can't do it all at once.  So anyways, there that is, sorry if I'm looking like I'm neglecting things, I don't intend to, but there is a line of things waiting for my attention and everything's gotta give a little.


----------



## Caged Maiden

Whew, just spent the last two hours doing calligraphy... not the funnest way to spend a hot afternoon, but now it's done and I can get on to the painting.


----------



## Philip Overby

This thread has over 2,000 views now!  Awesome!  Let's blow it up!


----------



## Reaver

Phil the Drill said:


> This thread has over 2,000 views now!  Awesome!  Let's blow it up!



I would but I used my last hand grenade a few posts ago. I think that Legendary Sidekick might have some dynamite left over from a story we worked on together a while back.  Ask him.


----------



## Reaver

Legendary Sidekick said:


> EDIT - This thread will be the first in the challenge forum to hit 2000 views.



Okay, this thread only beat the *FIRST EVER REAVER TRIGGER CHALLENGE *by 46 views and hey, let's face it, is this really a "challenge"?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

The challenge is actually killing it.

But mostly, I was looking for an excuse to say, "Toga! Toga! Toga... _two thousand!"_


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

What is thread cannot die, but rises again, longer and sillier.


----------



## T.Allen.Smith

Benjamin Clayborne said:
			
		

> What is thread cannot die, but rises again, longer and sillier.



Haha! That's great!


----------



## The Blue Lotus

Ask and ye shall recieve! :bomb: <-- to "Blow it up"


----------



## gavintonks

kaboom out spot out damn spot


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Spot took gavintonks' advice and found that he _liked _being outdoors.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

*JMH, the Stealth Sketch Artist*

Who _is_ JMH, the Stealth Sketch Artist you ask? He's the guy who draws memorable scenes from the Endless Hunt.

For Season 3, I will make crappy drawings of your hunter under two conditions:

1) You play The Endless Hunt Season 3.
2) If feel like drawing something that your hunter did.

My intent is to draw everyone once. I can't promise the drawing will be good or that JMH's style will be consistent, but the first Season 3 sketch is up. Seeing how no actual hunting has happened yet, it's safe to say that now's a good time to introduce your hunter and do something sketch-worthy!


----------



## Devor

Legendary Sidekick said:


> For Season 3, I will make crappy drawings of your hunter under two conditions:



Once again, you prove to be the HCS.


----------



## Philip Overby

I drew a picture of my hunter Omar Metzger using MS Paint (which is pretty crappy.) Feel free to use my template to draw him doing anything else you'd like.


----------



## Rikilamaro

Hmmm. So does one day mean 24 hours? If so, isn't the thread dead?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Long dead.

We are dancing on its mushy corpse.


We're doing the Mash!

* <( They're doing the Monster Mash! )*

The Monster Mash!

* <( It is a graveyard smash! )*


Also, I don't want to sound like one of those Woo-Hoo guys but...



Devor said:


> Once again, you prove to be the HCS.



...Hyper Competent! YEEEEEEE--ESSSSSSS!!!!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

*The Legendary Sidekick Proudly Presents*

*Kids Say the Damnedest Things*

Today at lunch my four-year-old daughter told me:



> Last night I had a dream that grown-ups were saying bad words that kids aren't supposed to say.



(C.Y.A. NOTE: This is a concept she got from a Berenstain Bears episode.)



> Then I popped out a baby. I didn't know who the daddy was.



That would explain why the grown-ups were saying bad words.



( It's not even safe to let children *dream!* )
_V   _







This concludes our episode of *Kids Say the Damnedest Things*, dammit.


----------



## Steerpike

Legendary Sidekick said:


> ( This is a concept she got from a Berenstain Bears episode.)



Furballs??

*Moderated for offensive language.*


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Sorry, Steerpike. Couldn't resist!

Yeah, that's the episode. I think I quoted my daughter accurately, but wanted to clarify the concept of a grown-up word came from that show, not me dropping F-bombs in front of her and saying, "It's okay for ME to say that."


----------



## Steerpike

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Sorry, Steerpike. Couldn't resist!
> 
> Yeah, that's the episode. I think I quoted my daughter accurately, but wanted to clarify the concept of a grown-up word came from that show, not me dropping F-bombs in front of her and saying, "It's okay for ME to say that."



Heh. My daughter laughed so hard at the 'furball' episode when she was little. She loved it. She made a production of it for about a week, telling me her brother called her a "furball" and playing all kinds of jokes with it. It was fun!


----------



## Reaver

OKAY.  That's it.  You've all gone too far.  I'm officially shutting this thread down. I can tolerate a lot of things, but I will not allow ANYONE to cast aspersions on the Berenstain Bears.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

No disrespect to Berenstain Bears intended. No physical harm intended. I'm a brother seamus. I'm a dick.



(Big Lebowski quotes - dick as in private detective)


----------



## Reaver

Legendary Sidekick said:


> No disrespect to Berenstain Bears intended. No physical harm intended. I'm a brother seamus. I'm a dick.
> 
> 
> 
> (Big Lebowski quotes - dick as in private detective)




What the F**K are you talking about, Walter?


----------



## Rikilamaro

Can I just say... Ya'll are wonky.


----------



## Steerpike

rikilamaro said:


> can i just say... Ya'll are wonky.



f**ball....


----------



## Rikilamaro

Steerpike said:


> f**ball....



My point exactly.


----------



## Philip Overby

Why are there two One Word at a Time stories going now?  I don't mind it, but geez, isn't the other one bad enough.


----------



## Caged Maiden

YAY!!!!


----------



## Philip Overby

Good for you!  I failed!  Oh well.  There's always November.  I did pretty well though:  I got up to 38,000 which is more than I had before.  

Congrats!


----------



## T.Allen.Smith

Caged Maiden said:
			
		

> YAY!!!!



Nice CM! What tidbits did you learn along the way?


----------



## Reaver

Caged Maiden said:


> YAY!!!!



Congrats kiddo!


----------



## Reaver

Phil the Drill said:


> Good for you!  I failed!  Oh well.  There's always November.  I did pretty well though:  I got up to 38,000 which is more than I had before.



Blame it on THE POX.


----------



## Philip Overby

You owe me a story Reaver.  Get to it.


----------



## Reaver

Phil the Drill said:


> You owe me a story Reaver.  Get to it.



  Huh? For what?


----------



## Philip Overby

Death Match challenge.  Just write a story about your character and then we'll enter him or her into a tournament to fight other writers' creations.  Go for it!


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

How about a NaNoWriMo novel about someone writing a NaNoWriMo novel? 

*I N C E P T I O N*


----------



## Philip Overby

So, what's going on with you guys in Kill a Thread land?  It's stinking now, so I need to pour more lime on it.


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

You fool! Never feed these things after midnight!


----------



## Devor

Phil the Drill said:


> So, what's going on with you guys in Kill a Thread land?  It's stinking now, so I need to pour more lime on it.



I'm working on a new character/world concept that would make it easier for me to jump in on the weekly challenges.  I haven't written much at all since my wife began working overtime.  But we're adapting and things are getting easier, and I'm eager to write.


----------



## Ireth

I'm working on a sudoku and listening to one of the two songs I like from _Love Never Dies_. (Hate the very idea of that musical, but "Till I Hear You Sing" and "Devil Take the Hindmost" are pretty good songs.)


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I jut wrote the first bit of my short story in play format, and now I'm making another version in a normal 1st-person narrative format. I went with play format because I pictured it in my head as something that could work as a play, but I think I'd have a better hope of selling it as a short story (or series of).

Anyway, writing dialogue format first smashed my writers block. (Which is good, considering I'm a non-magic-user like my MC, which makes destroying a physical block hard to do as quickly.)


----------



## Reaver

*A Fill in the Blanks game...*

Yesterday I went to the__________ and the _________ told me that I have _________ and 

that in ________ days I'm going to ___________.  I couldn't ___________ my ____________ ! 

 I almost ___________ in my __________!  Needless to say I didn't _____________ anymore so 

I said to the _____________ : 

"Go __________ yourself, you _____________ _____________ !"


Then I ____________ into my ______________ and got the ___________ outta____________.   

So now I have to ____________ and ______________ that my ______________ will work 

properly. If it ______________, then I'm totally ______________.  

But that really doesn't ______________ my _______________, does it?

Oh well...I guess that I'll just ______________ and hope that ____________ doesn't__________ 

me in the _________.


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

Yesterday I went to the *banana* and the *Treasury Secretary* told me that I have *nine seconds to live* and 

that in *pi* days I'm going to *conquer Mars*. I couldn't *find* my *intestines* ! 

I almost *evaporated* in my *spacetime*! Needless to say I didn't *evacuate* anymore so 

I said to the *radioactive space lizard* : 

"Go *pamper* yourself, you *iconic* *debutante* !"



I'll let someone else do the second half.


----------



## Devor

Yesterday I went to the *morgue* and the *mortician* told me that I have *an autopsy scheduled soon* and that in *three* days I'm going to *be cremated*.  I couldn't *believe* my *ears*!  I almost *drifted through the floors* in my *shock*!

Needless to say I didn't *like being dead* anymore so I said to the *angel of death*: 

"Go *kill* _yourself_, you *hooded goon*!"

Then I *sank* into my *corpse* and got the *hell* outta *the morgue, literally*.   

So now I have to *break into the hospital* and *give myself a blood transfusion so* that my *body* will work properly. If it *won't heal from the gunshot*, then I'm totally *a zombie*.

But that really doesn't *hurt* my *chances with the ladies*, does it?

Oh well...I guess that I'll just *hang out in the paranormal romance section of the bookstore* and hope that *the angel of death* doesn't *find* me in the *aisles*.


----------



## gavintonks

as a newly anointed great dane expert I can testify that the bio mass of a great dane that did not go outside is about 1kg and takes up a cubic area of 9cm x9cm x 8cm high
it is this useless information that makes dog ownership so special


----------



## Reaver

gavintonks said:


> as a newly anointed great dane expert I can testify that the bio mass of a great dane that did not go outside is about 1kg and takes up a cubic area of 9cm x9cm x 8cm high
> it is this useless information that makes dog ownership so special



And it should be further noted that in some states here in the U.S., great danes *must *wear baggy shorts.


----------



## gavintonks

I can understand a dump like that could cause a serious accident but the plastic in the shorts would definitely contribute to global warming

I wish I could find a way to commercialism it


----------



## gavintonks

for sale bulk deals - great dane bio mass very green/ doctored with enzymes


----------



## Philip Overby

What are you guys talking about?


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

What _aren't_ we talking about?


----------



## Philip Overby

Let's talk about our goals for the year.  (Make this thread a bit more productive)

By the way, Benjamin, thanks again for that spreadsheet you sent me.  It's been awesome with keeping up with where I'm sending things.

My goals for the rest of 2012:

1.  Finish my novel (finally), hopefully I can accomplish finishing the first draft by the end of August, I'm hoping
2.  Send off more short stories.  I've found a couple of markets I'm interested in getting into, so I'm going to submit ad nauseum to them.
3.  Start work on a new novel.  I'm chomping at the bit to write something new, but I'm not letting Creative ADD get me down.  I'm sticking with this one I'm on until the end.  Come hell or high water!


----------



## Ireth

My goals, in no particular order:

1. Work for acceptance of my novel by an agent or publisher, no matter how many people I need to submit to.
2. Continue work on my other WIPs in the hope of finishing at least one of them by the end of the year.
3. Do well in my next semester of college and get all my credits figured out. (I know it's not writing-related, but still, it's a goal.)


----------



## Rikilamaro

Phil productivity can be highly over rated.
My goals for the next year:
1. Finalize the resolution of my marriage. It's only taken 3 years at this point. I know, over share.
2. Finish nursing school.
3. Pass NCLEX. = become a nurse.
4. Do a happy dance.

Those were all non-writing related. So here's some more:
5. Finish editing of my book and get it published.
6. Finish writing second book in series.
7. Do a happy dance.


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

My goals:

1. Conquer Earth.
2. Destroy Earth (only if 1 fails - if I can't have it, no one can).
3. Self-publish my NiP.

I actually got first sketches from my cover artist today, and they're pretty good, and she had some awesome ideas about how to improve on my suggestions. I'm super excited to see what she sends next.  With a little luck, this baby'll be on (virtual) shelves by my target date of July 23!


----------



## Reaver

1. Quit making goals for the year.


----------



## Steerpike

I'd like to sell the short story I have out to a paying market somewhere. In addition, I want to finish the story I am currently working on and self-publish it.


----------



## Philip Overby

Ok, new topic.  What are you reading right now?  I'm reading "The Last Wish" by Andrezj Sapkowski.  I'm really digging the Witcher stuff.  It's dark, but not too dark.  And it's rather light reading in that I don't get bogged down with a lot of dense language.  I'm also reading "Blood Meridian" at the same time, which is decidedly NOT light reading, but is pretty awesome.


----------



## T.Allen.Smith

Reading list:
1) Finish the Mistborn Trilogy (half done)
2) The Assassin's Apprentice - Robin Hobb
3) Blood Meridian


----------



## Rikilamaro

I'm currently rereading the Night Angel Trilogy by Brent Weeks. 

Suggestions for what to read next are welcome!


----------



## Philip Overby

A lot of people are reading "Blood Meridian" it seems.  Is it just me, or does it sort of "feel" like a fantasy story in some way?  I know it's not, but it just feels like that for some reason.

What else do you like to read Rikilamaro?  Maybe I can suggest something.


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

All I'm reading right now are my magazines (EW and The New Yorker) and my own damn book, for editing.


----------



## gavintonks

finally finished wheel of time 13 could have indexed a lot of the stuff and about 4 really good chapters the rest when I remember it I will tell you, plus some appalling telling and some really horrible god pov discussing the characters thoughts and feelings, just like a lecture
one more to go and hopefully it will not dispaoint


----------



## Reaver

Wah-wah-wah-wuh-wah-wuh

Yes ma'am, I really like this thread.

Wah-woo-way-woo-wah

Kill it? Why on earth would I do that?

Wuh-woo-wah-wah-wuhhh...wah-whu-waa-wee-woo

No ma'am... I don't wan't to disobey you.

Waaa-wooo-weee-hoo-hooo!

WHY WON'T YOU GET OUTTA MY HEAD!?!

Wah-wah-wahh-wee-wooo

Yes..Yes ma'am..I'm sorry..I'll do it..I swear on the spilt blood of AGOR!


----------



## gavintonks

ok as the great dane specialist when they are not creating mountains of bio mass they seem to like chewing shoes,


----------



## Philip Overby

So is this thread dead for good?  

NO!

What do you want to be remembered for after you've been long gone?


----------



## gavintonks

whats the use of being remembered when you dead?
and on the third day it rose again according to the scriptures


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

My epitaph:

HERE LIES BENJAMIN CLAYBORNE

SURROUNDED BY HIS VICTIMS


(I wish I could claim that's an original joke, but alas.)


----------



## The Blue Lotus

Die Dang it all just die already! :stomp:


----------



## Devor

Here would lie Devor the Barbarian,
If the man beneath this grave had lived up to his boast.

Anyone else with a funny epitath?


----------



## T.Allen.Smith

Devor said:
			
		

> Here would lie Devor the Barbarian,
> If the man beneath this grave had lived up to his boast.
> 
> Anyone else with a funny epitath?



Here lies TAS
1971 - 2078
Only the good die young


----------



## Philip Overby

Here lies Phil
Who piledrove life into oblivion.


----------



## Reaver

Here Lies Reaver
The baddest motherf**ker who ever lived.


----------



## Ireth

Reaver said:


> Here Lies Reaver
> The baddest motherf**ker who ever lived.



*GASP* The Reaver is mortal?!


----------



## gavintonks

it was a grave situation without a ghost of a chance


----------



## Reaver

Ireth said:


> *GASP* The Reaver is mortal?!



Shhh...The grave is just for appearances...don't tell anyone, okay?


----------



## gavintonks

he came he saw, he was killed because he was inexperienced new bugger all about the force


----------



## gavintonks

the planet has to wait another 50 000 years because the bus ran over the mother of the savior - buggar


----------



## gavintonks

sue to a snowstorm at heathrow the hero could not meet his destiny!


----------



## gavintonks

and romeo opened an eye so they let the asp go, the spca lady fell over dead when she tried to pet it, checking to see if it was harmed in any way


----------



## The Blue Lotus

As the sun slowly sank lower onto the oceans waves the boat dropped anchor.
The gathering of people dropped their smiles and the crew emerged with the strangely configured cement object, filled with holes and loops a serial number clearly etched into its side near the bottom edge.


Caption and crew remove their hats as a violin slowly starts plays a mournful rendition of 'Amazing Grace'
The strange short man who stood to the back of the group moved forward his assistant in close tow behind him. They light a small brass hanging pot filled with sandalwood and began chanting as he swung it around the artificial reef that had been mixed using the ashes of the deceased. His assistant translated the Sanskrit words for the people gathered at the stern of the ship to say their goodbyes one final time.

"We now release the spirit of the Lotus, may she give life and happiness to those who can not provide it for themselves, for all time just as she had always done in her life." The odd man closed the short ceremony in a prayer as the crew slipped the chains around the reef and lowered it into the depths of the waters waiting arms.

So passed the Blue Lotus from one life to the next. Giveing refuge to the coral and fishes of the ocean she had so longed to protect during her short but eventful life.


----------



## Rikilamaro

My response to the fill in the blank from post # 395.

Yesterday I went to the veterinarian and the wench told me that I have a werewolf for a pet and that in seven days I'm going to be eaten. I couldn't put down my little Toto ! 

I almost cried in my beer! Needless to say I didn't believe her anymore so 

I said to the veterinarian : 

"Go mentally examine yourself, you psycho weirdo !"


Then I (and Toto) jumped into my Porsche and got the truck outta town. 

So now I have to move to Alaska and pray that my plan to move where the sun never sets and the moon never shines will work properly. If it does, then I'm totally golden until September. 

But that really doesn't help my poor Toto, does it?

Oh well...I guess that I'll just half to live on separate poles every six months and hope that Toto doesn't bite me in the ass.


----------



## gavintonks

i saw a house just out of sight its roof was whitewashed black it stood alone between 2 others and its front faced the back


----------



## The Blue Lotus

Amazing Grace Bagpipes - An Armed Forces & 9/11 Tribute - YouTube
May peace on earth someday come.


----------



## Addison

Last I checked this thread is still alive. 
Harry Potter has really set a bar in the fantasy genre. I know it's fantasy but which sub-category would it be in? Adventure-fantasy or maybe mystery-fantasy. I don't think it would be a contemporary fantasy. Still a great book though. In a way it inspires people to write stories of kids learning magic and yet they're intimidated to send it in. Funny how the publishing business works.


----------



## mbartelsm

Hi people, my dream is to some day become the greatest omnipotent god, as unlikely as it may be. It all started a few years ago when... *ZZZZZZZ


----------



## mbartelsm

Addison said:


> Last I checked this thread is still alive.
> Harry Potter has really set a bar in the fantasy genre. I know it's fantasy but which sub-category would it be in? Adventure-fantasy or maybe mystery-fantasy. I don't think it would be a contemporary fantasy. Still a great book though. In a way it inspires people to write stories of kids learning magic and yet they're intimidated to send it in. Funny how the publishing business works.



Maybe the early books could be considered part mystery, but as the characters and plots evolve it becomes less mystery and more adventure/action


----------



## Addison

Very true. So sub-genre can change but not the main genre.


----------



## Devor

Addison said:


> I know it's fantasy but which sub-category would it be in?



I don't know about the specific fantasy sub-genre - probably Young Adult - but every book of the Harry Potter series is a different one of the classic seven genres.

1 - Puzzle (there's a series of challenges - even before the end - they have to figure out . . . it's not a mystery:  The whole book, they _think_ they know who the bad guy is, they aren't trying to figure it out.)
2 - Mystery (they're looking for the killer in an ongoing series...)
3 - Horror (crazed escaped killer with a knife, werewolf, dementors...)
4 - Quest/Challenge - (Triwizard Cup, and even the ending, are dangerous episodes our hero faces alone and has to survive.)
5 - Tragedy (Harry has a weakness for heroism, someone dies for it - but there's also a long list of people who's faults were pointed out to have caused the end, including Dumbledore's and the victim's)
6 - Comedy (there's humor, romance, you see the bad guy crying, the reader already knows much about what's going on, the hero is portrayed as crazy even when he's right, even the big-bad-thing-at-the-end ..... well, spoilers)
7 - Action

So . . . take your pick.


----------



## Addison

When it comes to movies or TV shows, mostly movies, the originals are always better. Prime examples: Halloween, Friday the 13th.


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

Addison said:


> When it comes to movies or TV shows, mostly movies, the originals are always better. Prime examples: Halloween, Friday the 13th.



I wouldn't say _always_. There are at least a few remakes/reboots that are better than the original/previous incarnation. Among remakes, I'd count _Ocean's 11_, _Little Shop of Horrors_, _The Thomas Crown Affair_, _The Italian Job_, and _3:10 to Yuma_ as better than the originals. (There's some older films that were nonetheless remakes of even _older_ films, like _Ben-Hur_ and _The Maltese Falcon_, too, that were better than the originals.)

And it's not hard to think of sequels that were better than the original. (Or at least that I liked more. ) _Terminator 2_, _The Empire Strikes Back_, _Aliens_, _The Godfather Part II_, _Spider-Man 2_, _X2: X-Men United_, _Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol_... mostly action and sci-fi, it seems


----------



## Devor

Film has its strengths and weaknesses, and a story that plays into those strengths might very well do better on screen. Some forms of good writing will also sink into a screenplay.  And then there's ways where the screenplay is like a second draft - there's a dozen more writers looking it over.

A lot of times the movie looks worse because you want it to be the book you've read. Of course, they screw up plenty of films and abuse a work just to exploit the fanbase - it happens with books based on the movie/game, too - but I think there's plenty of times they make an honest effort and do it right.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

*Reaver in Hospital*

Reaver is in the hospital now. He was rather casual about it--"The doctors didn't like my CT scan so I'm being held hostage by the VA hospital."--so hopefully he's doing alright, but he wanted you to know he'll be offline for a while.


----------



## The Blue Lotus

SideKick, I hope you are not being serious?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I wouldn't kid about that... though Reaver says not to worry, just that he'll be offline for a while.


----------



## The Blue Lotus

Will keep him in my prayers. Thanks.


----------



## gavintonks

as a great dane expert the biomass field in the bottom left hand corner of my garden is sufficient to light kansas, buy just burning it


----------



## gavintonks

hope reaver is doing well and he does not having anything doctors can get an award or nobel peace prize for


----------



## Reaver

gavintonks said:


> hope reaver is doing well and he does not having anything doctors can get an award or nobel peace prize for



Thank you Gavin! Nothing too serious, thanks!


----------



## gavintonks

great to hear, Reaver


----------



## Ireth

*sneaks in*

*covers thread in confetti and streamers*

*sneaks out*


----------



## Philip Overby

What's that?  You want to post more inane, pointless crap?  Well, have it!

Thread REVIVED!


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

*In his house in R'lyeh, thread Cthulhu lies sleeping*


----------



## Philip Overby

Wake him up.  I need to ask him something.


----------



## T.Allen.Smith

Wow. It's been awhile.

Welcome back undead thread!


----------



## gavintonks

The Zombi thread - it will have its own dance number soon


----------



## FatCat

I once owned a parakeet, his name was Steven. That is all.


----------



## Reaver

I ate a pluot today. It's also known as a dinosaur egg. It was good.


----------



## gavintonks

die thread di [or was that a person who hit a bridge?]


----------



## Butterfly

Reminds me of an x-files themed advert...

Vodafone You Are Not Alone - YouTube


----------



## Reaver

(...whatever happened to Fleam Ailman?..)


----------



## gavintonks

is it possible to drive this thread into a bridge, swap its bullet and bomb proof car minutes before it leaves and get enough paparazzi on a scooter to blind the driver with a burst of light seen 30m away


----------



## gavintonks

or subject it to enough plastic surgery that it requires massive doses of opiate pain killers and slides into oblivion?


----------



## gavintonks

I think I broke it posted twice in a row ooops sorry!


----------



## Butterfly

Nah... It's thrice in a row now...


----------



## Aosto

So I was riding my bike the other day. Okay, well I was thinking of riding my bike. Okay, okay I was thinking of getting a bike to ride.


----------



## Reaver

Just one more H&S green stamp and I can finally get that 1985 Yugo.


----------



## FatCat

Pogo-sticks are a great way to get around town in style. Not only will you look really, REALLY cool while hopping around and impressing the ladies, you will save trillions of lives by not destroying the atmosphere in an egotistical pissing match with the corvette idling next to you at the green light with the pretty good-looking women in the passenger seat who would be prettier if it wasn't for the inch-thick layer of make-up applied over her face to hide years of alcohol abuse and shame when she realized that high school ended some thirty odd years ago and what the young kids call a cougar doesn't apply to her even though the desperate attempts of fake tanning and breast implants payed for by her seventh husband must've been for something but she can't really figure out what and next thing you know the light is green and the corvette drives off and you feel like you've lost the game of unknown rules as a hipster hops by on his antique pogo-stick from nineteen seventy whatever and the pang of jealousy you feel transforms you into a earth-loving super human of morality in which none could ever harm your sense of right and wrong because let's be honest you're now a totally better person than the average joe in a corvette because you have principles, damnit! Go green or die, bastards.


----------



## Ireth

FatCat said:


> Pogo-sticks are a great way to get around town in style. Not only will you look really, REALLY cool while hopping around and impressing the ladies, you will save trillions of lives by not destroying the atmosphere in an egotistical pissing match with the corvette idling next to you at the green light with the pretty good-looking women in the passenger seat who would be prettier if it wasn't for the inch-thick layer of make-up applied over her face to hide years of alcohol abuse and shame when she realized that high school ended some thirty odd years ago and what the young kids call a cougar doesn't apply to her even though the desperate attempts of fake tanning and breast implants payed for by her seventh husband must've been for something but she can't really figure out what and next thing you know the light is green and the corvette drives off and you feel like you've lost the game of unknown rules as a hipster hops by on his antique pogo-stick from nineteen seventy whatever and the pang of jealousy you feel transforms you into a earth-loving super human of morality in which none could ever harm you sense of right and wrong because let's be honest your now a totally better person than the average joe in a corvette because you have principles, damnit! Go green or die, bastards.



Epic run-on sentence is epic. XDDD

Also, THE GAME. You just lost it.


----------



## FatCat

Ireth said:


> Epic run-on sentence is epic. XDDD
> 
> Also, THE GAME. You just lost it.



NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Reaver

For far too long I've been dealing with the voices in someone else's head.


----------



## FatCat

Reaver said:


> For far too long I've been dealing with the voices in someone else's head.



Just take a seat on the couch and tell me how that makes you feel.


----------



## Reaver

FatCat said:


> Just take a seat on the couch and tell me how that makes you feel.



See? There's one of those voices!


----------



## gavintonks

Do not get a great dane unless you have a property equal in size to dispose of nuclear waste, if the Dane population increases we could quite easily drown in dog crxp


----------



## Twook00

You said anything.  What if I say nothing instead?


----------



## FatCat

Twook00 said:


> You said anything.  What if I say nothing instead?



I say what you said is something that's worth saying, say you say said and who said said then says what said who and who said what? Get my drift?


----------



## Reaver

I saw a squirrel swimming the backstroke in my pool today. When I asked him why he chose the backstroke, he said: "____________________________________________________________."


----------



## FatCat

So I can keep an eye on my nuts!


----------



## gavintonks

to kill some or just to break them?


----------



## brokethepoint

And now for something completely different

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay I sleep all night and I work all day
He's a lumberjack and he's okay He sleeps all night and he works all day
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch I go to the lavatory On Wednesdays I go shopping And have buttered scones for tea
He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch He goes to the lavatory On Wednesdays he goes shopping And has buttered scones for tea
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay (He's a lumberjack and he's okay) I sleep all night and I work all day (He sleeps all night and he works all day)
I cut down trees, I skip and jump I like to press wildflowers I put on women's clothing And hang around in bars
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps He likes to press wildflowers He puts on women's clothing And hangs around in bars?
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay (He's a lumberjack and he's okay) I sleep all night and I work all day (He sleeps all night and he works all day)
I cut down trees, I wear high heels Suspenders and a bra I wish I'd been a girlie Just like my dear papa
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels Suspenders and a bra?
He's a lumberjack and he's okay He sleeps all night and he works all day
He's a lumberjack and he's okay He sleeps all night and he works all day


----------



## gavintonks

zombie lumberjack cross dressing thread


----------



## WyrdMystic

A zombie lumberjack walks into a bar. His head falls off.


----------



## Reaver

Yes...I-I understand and I will obey.


----------



## dangit

is this thread dead yet.


----------



## Reaver

dangit said:


> is this thread dead yet.



This is the thread that cannot die.


----------



## Ireth

Reaver said:


> This is the thread that cannot die.



"This is the thread that never ends,
Yes, it goes on and on, my friends!
Some people started posting here, not knowing what it was,
And they'll continue posting here forever just because..."


----------



## FatCat

Ireth said:


> "This is the thread that never ends,
> Yes, it goes on and on, my friends!
> Some people started posting here, not knowing what it was,
> And they'll continue posting here forever just because..."



Well thanks for implanting that song deep within my mind, awesome. I hate lambs.


----------



## WyrdMystic

FatCat said:


> I hate lambs.



I don't. Bit of mint sauce and they're actually quite tasty.

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't finish the way you thought it octupus?


----------



## Ireth

WyrdMystic said:


> I don't. Bit of mint sauce and they're actually quite tasty.



Irish stew is also lovely when made with lamb, aka the "traditional" way.


----------



## WyrdMystic

Ireth said:


> Irish stew is also lovely when made with lamb, aka the "traditional" way.



By traditional I assume you mean while everyone chants in a circle and the lamb is placed on the altar ready for the sacrafice? No? Oh. Well yes, that's good too.


----------



## Ireth

WyrdMystic said:


> By traditional I assume you mean while everyone chants in a circle and the lamb is placed on the altar ready for the sacrafice? No? Oh. Well yes, that's good too.



That made me giggle. XDDD


----------



## Sparkie

This seems like as good a place as any to post this, so here we go...

So yesterday I catch my dad reading _Moby Dick._  Again.  Big deal, right?

Here's the thing though:  About four years ago my dad began his epic journey of reading _Moby Dick_ for the first time.  And all that man did was moan and whine and complain about how unreadable the book was and that Herman Melville must've been nuts to write that much about ships and whale oil and Christianity and obsession and the particular order a given vessels group of officers should eat and all this for *TWO FRIGGIN' YEARS!!!*  For two years he read that book, and for two years our family had to hear about it.  Now he's reading an annotated version with commentary and I'm about ready to spike his beer with rat poison just to put him out of his misery.

(sigh)

Ok, I feel better.


----------



## FatCat

A hammer in the darkness will do the same trick, if you have the will to subvert police negotiation. Just aim for the temple, swing a couple of times, and blame it on sexual past experiences. Works like a charm.


----------



## WyrdMystic

I can just imagine the look of astonishment on your face as he turns the last page and boldly declares - "That was the best goddamn book I've ever read!"


----------



## Reaver

FatCat said:


> A hammer in the darkness will do the same trick, if you have the will to subvert police negotiation. Just aim for the temple, swing a couple of times, *and blame it on sexual past experiences. *Works like a charm.



I mean this in the best possible way: THIS IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE FROM OHIO. IT SHOULD BE: "...past sexual experiences." 





Spoiler: More from your friendly neighborhood Reaver:



YOU'RE WELCOME!!!


----------



## FatCat

I blame the water.


----------



## Rikilamaro

Those crazy people from Ohio. They're all nuts.


----------



## thedarknessrising

Yes. Yes we are nuts. Nuts? i love nuts. they taste so delicious.


----------



## Ireth

Nuts are delicious. Peanuts, cashews, almonds... mmmm.


----------



## thedarknessrising

I was just at my neighbors house. she had walnuts. AND I GOT TO CRACK THEM WITH A NUTCRACKER!!!!!!Best day of my life thus far.


----------



## FatCat

I use sheer willpower to crack nuts. They call me crazy, staring at un-cracked nuts with that gleam in my eye. Fools, we'll see who's laughing when the shell breaks.


----------



## WyrdMystic

FatCat said:


> I use sheer willpower to crack nuts. They call me crazy, staring at un-cracked nuts with that gleam in my eye. Fools, we'll see who's laughing when the shell breaks.



If the nuts call you crazy....time to start quacking.


----------



## thedarknessrising

Pffffft. The nuts know that if I am within the same vicinity as them, they should begin cracking themselves out of pure, untainted fear. I was only using the nutcracker to be nice.


----------



## Sparkie

So a Pygmy Nuthatch...  It hatches from a nut?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

*1-UP'd!!*



FatCat said:


> I use sheer willpower to crack nuts. They call me crazy, staring at un-cracked nuts with that gleam in my eye. Fools, we'll see who's laughing when the shell breaks.


_*I*_ crack nuts with my fist.

Nope. Those were my finger bones.

...

_*I*_ drive to the hospital using only one hand.


----------



## FatCat

In Soviet Russia, the hospital drives to you.


----------



## Sparkie

Nuggets.  Nuggets.


----------



## Reaver

Live-action He-Man reboot filming in Cleveland.


----------



## Reaver

You totally tried clicking on that, didn't you? Aaah-haaa! You did, didn't you?


----------



## thedarknessrising

Yeah. I did. >_<


----------



## Sparkie

_By a mansion on a hillside

A sports car comes drivin' down the road

He pulls up into the driveway

And the story does unfold..._


----------



## Reaver

An excerpt from *The Endless Hunt Season 2: An Explosive Island *(2-23-12)*:

*


> My name is Ultimus Manimus and I am a slave.
> 
> To fashion!
> 
> I mean, have you seen all the trends I've started? It's not easy being a paragon of war, physical fitness and fashion..all that makes a REAL man a REAL man. What can I say? The men hate me because the women love me.




*EDIT* It's been almost a month since this post! No one else has posted here!!  I killed this thread put this thread in a coma.


Oh well...

*
REAVER DANCE!!*



​


----------



## Philip Overby

You did kill it, Reaver.  Good job.  Too bad I just posted...

Crap.


----------



## FatCat

This thread can only die in accordance with the Mayan calender.


----------



## Sparkie

I think the Mayan calendar actually mentions this thread specifically.  One post too many brings it all to an end.


----------



## Philip Overby

I think the thread count that kills everyone is probably 665.  Or somewhere around that.  Still have about 150 or so more to go!


----------



## Ireth

Think we'll get there before Doomsday?


----------



## FatCat

Yes. Post random information about yourselves. I recently reconciled with a fling at work, perhaps it could turn into something more. GO! We have posts to make, people, let it rip!


----------



## Sparkie

Uh, ok.  Uh...  Uh... I hate peas!  There!  I said it!

I feel like I should have said more!

Yea, after reading what I just typed, it seems pretty lame!


----------



## Philip Overby

I'm going to flatten all of you by posting stuff that's actually beneficial or relative to this website.  Yes...shock!  

Do this.  OK??? 

http://mythicscribes.com/forums/news-announcements/6492-nominate-mythic-scribes-writers-digest-award-2.html#post80886

Really, REALLY make sure you do the one above.  It's really great to spread the love about Mythic Scribes to a wider audience.  


...and this less important one below. 

http://mythicscribes.com/forums/chit-chat/6456-best-mythic-scribes-2012-nominations-2.html#post80935


----------



## Philip Overby

It's funny if you actually post something worth-while in this thread, it kills it.

I like dogs.

OK, should get moving again now...


----------



## FatCat

Phil the Drill said:


> I like dogs.



I like bogs.


----------



## Philip Overby

I like bog monsters.  I actually have one in a story I'm working on now.


----------



## Sparkie

I look kind of like a bog monster...


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I smell like a bog monster.

A cranberry bog monster.

I smell like cranberries.

I smell good!




How creepy is a bog monster supposed to be? 'Cause I just creeped myself out.


----------



## FatCat




----------



## kilost

So yeah, frogs are pretty cool right guys?


----------



## FatCat

Frogs are cool, but sadly several species are going extinct because of excessive smog.


----------



## kilost

The people of Mythic Scribes should unite to orchestrate a series of coups and unite the world under the Environmentalist Greater Republic of the Fantasy Genre. Then we can protect the frogs.


----------



## FatCat

This thread is now being monitored by the NSA, FBI, CIA, and DOD. Please, do not mind them.


----------



## Philip Overby

I'm going to write a story about a giant frog that eats companies that produce the most amount of smog.  I'm going to call it "Smog-Eater Frog."  In the movie version, he shoots his tongue out and catches a helicopter while they are playing some really cool metal riff.


----------



## Benjamin Clayborne

If I had a nickel for every time I didn't have a nickel, uh...


----------



## FatCat

Phil the Drill said:


> I'm going to write a story about a giant frog that eats companies that produce the most amount of smog.  I'm going to call it "Smog-Eater Frog."  In the movie version, he shoots his tongue out and catches a helicopter while they are playing some really cool metal riff.



I'd totally pay money to see that.


----------



## Sparkie

Benjamin Clayborne said:


> If I had a nickel for every time I didn't have a nickel, uh...



Boy, a nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.


----------



## FatCat

Oh my god, Becky, look at her butt. It is sooooo big. She must be one of those rapper guy's girlfriends.


----------



## Philip Overby

I like big frogs and I cannot lie.


----------



## Inglorious_Hero

I would buy tickets to see your frog movie, Phil the Drill.  I would pay to see it in 3D.


----------



## Reaver

My lack of excitement knows no bounds.


----------



## Philip Overby

Whatever you guys do, don't post anymore.  I'm serious.  I heard that if we get in the 665 range, then something horrible is going to happen.  Aliens, demons, or somesuch.  So don't post.  Seriously.


----------



## FatCat

Phil the Drill said:


> Whatever you guys do, don't post anymore.  I'm serious.  I heard that if we get in the 665 range, then something horrible is going to happen.  Aliens, demons, or somesuch.  So don't post.  Seriously.



How serious is this threat, and from whom have you heard this information! If it's the frogs, I swear, I will probably never post on this thread again.


----------



## Reaver

Phil is right. This is the last post. Don't post after this. Something bad will happen if we reach post # 666.


----------



## FatCat

Wait, so which post should I stop posting after, yours or Phil's? I think I messed up if it was Phil's.

Edit: And yours.


----------



## Ireth

But the world isn't going to end until the 21st, isn't that what they say? What if we reach 666 before then?


----------



## Philip Overby

Don't post after mine!  No one ever said what the number was.  It could be between 665-670.  So quit posting after this one.  Seriously.  

You want an asteroid to hit the Earth?


----------



## Reaver

No, no, no...it's not an asteroid. The world government has a plan in place to handle that threat. It's been around since 1979. Here is some Top Secret video of that plan in action:


----------



## Sparkie

Story time!

When I was about seven years old, my uncle Mike took me to our local Aladdin's Castle (at the mall) for the first time.  I could have swore I was in heaven, except it was a lot darker in there than heaven ought to be.

Anyway, It was there that I discovered that video games were not exclusive to Nintendo.  Wow!  There were _other_ games too!  Games like _Asteroids,_ _Pole Position,_ _Pac-Man (the old table style machine),_ ect.  And pinball!  They had this really cool old pinball machine called _Gorgons._  Man, I loved that place.

By the way, I figured out what happens when we hit post #666.  But I'm not telling...


----------



## Philip Overby

Oh snap!  I remember Aladdin's Castle!  That place was so cool  I remember it was just this long hallway that got into progressively older games.  Man, good thing we still have loads of arcades in Japan.  I may take a nostalgia trip.


----------



## Reaver

* Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999.*


----------



## Sparkie

Yup.  World ends tomorrow.

Sooooo...

Anyone else feel like playing _Risk?_


----------



## Ireth

Sparkie said:


> Yup.  World ends tomorrow.
> 
> Sooooo...
> 
> Anyone else feel like playing _Risk?_



I totally would if I had anyone to play it with. XDDD I have the LOTR edition, which is awesome. I've never actually played regular Risk.

If the world DOES end tomorrow, at least I know where my towel is.


----------



## Reaver

As Phil the Drill pointed out in another post, it's already December 21st in Japan and the world didn't end. Bummer, huh?


----------



## FatCat

I feel so cheated! Who would have thought that a doomsday prediction would turn out to be untrue?


----------



## Reaver

Sparkie said:


> Yup.  World ends tomorrow.
> 
> Sooooo...
> 
> Anyone else feel like playing _Risk?_



Life is one giant game of Risk my friend.


----------



## Phietadix

Yes! I will be the last to post before the end of the world!


----------



## Ireth

Wooo, getting closer to the unlucky post number... XD


----------



## Philip Overby

Risk.  That's actually a great idea.  Let's make countries and fight each other.  

My country is called Zallumfallenfodder.


----------



## Phietadix

I declare war on you for having such a weird named culture.
My nation is the Phietadix Empire, prepare to be crushed.


----------



## Reaver

Will you partake of that last offered cup?


----------



## Phietadix

I've heard the world ends in an hour. So I killed this Thread!


----------



## gavintonks

well it survived the Mayan calender and can be reborn in three days in 3 months time


----------



## Phietadix

By the way, how many times has the world ended this year?


----------



## T.Allen.Smith

Extinct cultures should never be trusted with prophecy.


----------



## Phietadix

Have you heard this. "If Mayans could predict the future, there would still be Mayans."


----------



## T.Allen.Smith

No.... But that's the gist of what I was getting at.


----------



## Reaver

T.Allen.Smith said:


> Extinct cultures should never be trusted with prophecy.






Phietadix said:


> Have you heard this. "If Mayans could predict the future, there would still be Mayans."




The Mayans aren't extinct. There are lots of Mayans living in Central America and southern Mexico.


----------



## T.Allen.Smith

Reaver said:


> The Mayans aren't extinct. There are lots of Mayans living in Central America and southern Mexico.



True, but the specific culture more or less is.... At least I've never heard or seen anything modern mayan. I could certainly be wrong.


----------



## Reaver

T.Allen.Smith said:


> True, but the specific culture more or less is.... At least I've never heard or seen anything modern mayan. I could certainly be wrong.



Well, I guess for all intents and purposes their culture is, to a degree, extinct. I guess we could say the same for most aboriginal cultures throughout "The New World".


----------



## gavintonks

I have it on good authority we died and were sent to an alternative universe created by alians for this very purpose so it is exactly as we left it, and that's why this thread is still alive her, because it is actually there


----------



## gavintonks

so why are the living Mayans not using their knowledge to make the tablet calender for Aquarius for the next 26 000 years?


----------



## gavintonks

not heard of any new pyramid plan submitted to the local authority either


----------



## Philip Overby

Next apocalypse is October 12th, 2015.  Just throwing that out there.


----------



## Phietadix

So we have a while left to live. Amzing how many times the end of the world happens.


----------



## gavintonks

The next is a huge space bolder predicted to hit is in 2032 - genuine - so then this thread will be crushed before it dies


----------



## gavintonks

something to look forward too, no greenhouse gases to worry about


----------



## FatCat

I've never once worried about a single thing. Greenhouse gases, Mayan predictions, the Bush administration, I'm pretty much floating on cloud nine at this point. True story.


----------



## Phietadix

I think modern predictions are proabably even less reliable then the Mayan ones.


----------



## Reaver




----------



## FatCat

Why'd the chicken cross the road?


----------



## Steerpike

gavintonks said:


> so why are the living Mayans not using their knowledge to make the tablet calender for Aquarius for the next 26 000 years?



It's cyclical. The calendar repeats. You don't have to make a new one.


----------



## Reaver

And don't forget the fact that people who believed that end of the world nonsense are ********* ****** who like to ******* in a ******* ******** with ******** clowns and eat ******** out of their *******  *********.



**************!


----------



## FatCat

Reaver, it seems as though something wrong with your post there is.  Replaced with asterisks what you originally typed somehow was. Very confusing this is, as no idea what point you're trying to make I have.


----------



## Reaver

Just use your imagination.


----------



## Reaver

FatCat said:


> Reaver, it seems as though something wrong with your post there is . Somehow, replaced with asterisks what you originally typed was. Very confusing this is, as no idea what point you're trying to make I have.



Okay. Thanks for the advice Master Yoda.


----------



## Steerpike

Those aren't asterisks. He's speaking in the language of the Bushmen of southern Africa. That reminds, [email protected]#/!shk >!< **# T'*!


----------



## Reaver

Steerpike is correct. I apologize for my accent. It's been a few years since I spoke that language. So FatCat: Please &^%@ a whale and *&^%$# it with your [email protected]#$%^ and then *&^%$#@ it until some [email protected]#$^%* calls Greenpeace and they help you &^%$#@!+ it.


----------



## Sparkie

&^%@ a whale?  Sign me up!


----------



## Ireth

Sparkie said:


> &^%@ a whale?  Sign me up!



Sure, I'll save the whales.


----------



## Reaver

Ireth said:


> Sure, I'll save the whales.



No, I never said save a whale, I said &^%@ a whale. Please refer to this link for the correct translation.


----------



## Ireth

Reaver said:


> No, I never said save a whale, I said &^%@ a whale. Please refer to this link for the correct translation.



That's no link...


----------



## Reaver

*No link?*



Ireth said:


> That's no link...



:wavespin: *GOTCHA!!!!* :wavespin:


----------



## Sparkie

No Link?  What, is Zelda going to be the main protagonist in the next game?


----------



## Reaver

Sparkie said:


> No Link?  What, is Zelda going to be the main protagonist in the next game?



Oh...ha-ha. My sides.


----------



## Phietadix

Reaver said:


> Please &^%@ a whale



What!? I'd never eat a whale!


----------



## Reaver

Sparkie said:


> No Link?  What, is Zelda going to be the main protagonist in the next game?



Zelda won't be the main protagonist either. She's too busy hanging out in bars arguing with other video game heroes.


----------



## gavintonks

*calenders*



Steerpike said:


> Those aren't asterisks. He's speaking in the language of the Bushmen of southern Africa. That reminds, [email protected]#/!shk >!< **# T'*!




tell that to your printer or take a khoki pen and scratch out the year on your calender and see if it is accurate for next year


----------



## gavintonks

*gremlins*



gavintonks said:


> tell that to your printer or take a khoki pen and scratch out the year on your calender and see if it is accurate for next year



do not know what happened 
1 - calender you cannot use last years calender as the cycles add one extra day every 4 x 365 so should give an idea of just how amazing that piece of rock was to be accurate over 26 000 years

2 - there are no such thing as bushmen as
1 - they live in deserts which is hardly bush
2 - their tribes are 'the khoi' or the 'san'

3 - they are still alive today
4 - the asterix translations are very poor [hahahahhaha]


----------



## Reaver

Here's a fun idea if you find yourself in Africa and are really bored. In the words of my dear bushman friend <&*^%$ @%+=/?., from the village of ~%$^#"]} : Go to the nearest watering hole and ^&%$#@! the largest hippo you can find with a rusty >};*&%$ and spray it with [email protected]#^*+= until it [email protected]*&^#?[ itself all over a zebra carcass. Then all you have to do is wait for the vultures to start circling.


----------



## Sparkie

Wow.

It strikes me that Peach has a massive inferiority complex...


----------



## Reaver

Sparkie said:


> Wow.
> 
> It strikes me that Peach has a massive inferiority complex...



Yeah. She really does. She's a crazy @*&^%]+= .


----------



## FatCat

I never knew Peach was a @*&^%]+=, but that does explain some things.


----------



## Reaver

You know who else is a crazy @*&^%]+= ??  Snake from Metal Gear.  But he's also a bad )%#[email protected]~*> .


----------



## David Ivanov

One fine day while on my way to Ipswich by sea
I met a rather charming chap who asked me in to tea
It seems he was a dragon You know, the kind with wings
teeth and tails, and claws, and scales,
and all those dragonlike details. 
I admit I jumped a bit when he began to sing:

"I'm the Reluctant Dragon what ho! Quite so!
The very reluctant dragon Oh, very, very, don't you know!

They call me the timid dragon What rot! I'm not!
I just won't fight I'd rather play
I know I shan't get hurt that way 
Here we go gathering nuts in May
Whoops! I'm reluctant!"


Obviously not original with me, but my wife's uncle loves to recite this at length (much more than I can remember), and it seemed sufficiently random for this thread.


----------



## The Tourist

For my family it's not the uncle, it's my Aunt Clara.  She is the font of wisdom and arbitrator of disputes in my lineage.

Now granted, she simply re-packages conventional wisdom with a Sicilian flavor.  Take for example her positon on the old adage of "give a fish, teach a fisherman."

Clara remarked, "_Give a man a match, an he has heat for a moment.  But set a man on fire and he has heat for the rest of his life_."

Oh, and the angel-hair pasta she serves...


----------



## Phietadix

So what do you all think of Penguins with tea causing world peace?


----------



## Sparkie

Phietadix said:


> So what do you all think of Penguins with tea causing world peace?



Is the tea spiked with strychnine?


----------



## Phietadix

Sparkie said:


> Is the tea spiked with strychnine?



No, just tea.


----------



## The Tourist

I think we should all dress up like Indians and toss those pesky penguins into Boston Harbor.

There are precedents.  First, Americans now view executive orders as serious as adding fabric softener.  You should be able to leverage a nice wooden colonial schooner on the secondary market with Fannie Mae funds.

And as for the penguins, since I've been married I just don't trust guys in tuxedos.


----------



## FatCat




----------



## The Tourist

Ahhh, a perfect example--a dead penguin.


----------



## Sherman

And it smells


----------



## The Tourist

Hmmm, that begs the questions, if this Batman villian could be defined by his sanguinities, would they really be penguinities?

Is Bruce Wayne's jaw actually a Batmandible?  Is a pain in the butt actually a Jokerectum?  If Julie Newmar wrote all of her clues to her crimes in verse, would she actually be Cat-the-hat Woman?

Stop me, it's a curse...


----------



## Sherman

Throws a bat in front of Tourist....


----------



## The Tourist

Then that would make you a bat man, wouldn't it?

That would not be my *peg goin' in*...


----------



## Ireth

*Ice*-ee what you did there, Tourist. XD


----------



## The Tourist

You've harvey put a dent in these puns.


----------



## Ireth

The Tourist said:


> You've harvey put a dent in these puns.



Don't you mean harley (quinn)? XDD


----------



## Sherman

You don't mean a Harley Davidson?


----------



## Phietadix

I can't believe I started this.


----------



## The Tourist

Sherman said:


> You don't mean a Harley Davidson?



If only you knew.  My wife wants me to sell both of mine and get a mistress.  It would be cheaper.


----------



## Sparkie

_Get your motor runnin'..._


----------



## The Tourist

Sparkie said:


> _Get your motor runnin'..._



LOL.  Oh, the motors have been running for decades.  Sometimes it's the money that runs out.

Like I said, I have two.  One is called a Dyna Glide, or at least that's what it was before the customization started.  With all of the engine mods done, it inhaled gasoline like a kid eating french fries.

I came into some money and bought a Sportster "48," very similar to the bikes I rode in the club.  Stripped down, nothing but an engine and a seat.  It got better gas mileage, and I wound riding it more than the big bike--to the point I was wearing out back tires.

But I'm one of those guys who relaxes by kinetic energy.  Sitting around doing nothing tenses me up, going out for a ride calms me down.  My vacation in hell would be two weeks doing nothing but sitting by the pool at a hotel that does everything for you.

Both bikes are now at the dealership for winter storage, and like always, they are undergoing even more modifications--for no particular reason.  I moved the footpegs and shifter/brake assemblies forward on the Dyna.  Hundreds of bucks, but I just like to sit in that "kitchen chair" position, not with my feet folded underneath me.

Bikers are born, not made.  My grandfather worked for Harley.


----------



## Sparkie

I've never bought a bike (because I have no sense of balance and would probably let the thing touch ground within the first hour), but I love Harleys.  It's good to have someone here who seems to understand that *it's about the ride,* not speed.  "Kitchen Chair" is just fine, it's these guys on crotch-rockets leaning forward against the bars that scare me.


----------



## FatCat

yeah bicycles are fun.


----------



## The Tourist

FatCat said:


> yeah bicycles are fun.



Yes they are.

I was a credit manager with Trek for a few years, and I got deals on bikes and gear.  My wife has a Y-22 and 435, and I have 431.  And yeah, she can easily get away from me, even uphill.

I must admit that last year, when the sun was out, I took one of the Harleys out.  But then, it was scorching here in my area.


----------



## Jamber

My first motorbike was a Yamaha 125. It had a very flat seat and absolutely no style. The motor broke while I was trying to ride it home. Fortunately the place where I bought it was uphill from my home; unfortunately there was an extra hill in the way.
The man I bought it from began to laugh as he watched me glide down that first hill then attempt to push it up the next one.
His house was extremely large and well-appointed. I envied his house, his father's position in society, the fact that he had my money in his hand while I had his bike.
I spent a year dismantling the motor following a mechanic's manual. I changed the piston rings and worked my way through to the gearbox and finally the gear change mechanism. It was broken so I found a friend who brazed it into roughly the correct shape. The ball bearing was then able to slip in and out of neutral according to the correct force.
The bike became able to go. I was overjoyed. Then I realised it was rent day and I had no money because I hadn't got a shift at the service station that week. I put the bike out front with a 'for sale' sign.
Two boys passed, went home and came back with dad. They bought it.
I heard them revving it all day and half the next, then all went ominously quiet.
They came pushing it back up the street a few days later, red-faced and guilty-looking. They'd put the kickstarter on backwards. When I asked why they'd done that they told me their dad had made them dismantle the entire motor and put it back together again in order to learn how motorbikes work.
The motorbike no longer worked. It was completely kaput. I didn't give them a refund.
That's the end of my Yamaha 125 story.


----------



## The Tourist

My first custom Harley was a 1971 bike I bought new (it's my avatar).  I put all of money into engine mods, and a not a nickel into decent shocks or brakes.

I never crashed, but it taught me that good motors require better brakes.  I have a square gusseted swingarm and Progressive shocks on the '04 Dyna, now at 95-inches, cams, push-rods, exhaust system and Stage I air filtration.  Tried to find the top end once, but I ran out of courage before I ran out of engine.

The top picture is the 1971.  The bottom picture is the Dyna, "Black Betty."


----------



## WyrdMystic

Once...I ate a grape. Well not once, but many times. Not all at once, but at different points throughout my life. Not specific or important points, just those times when I fancied grapes and grapes were, by chance or purchase, available to me.


----------



## Phietadix

WyrdMystic said:


> Once...I ate a grape. Well not once, but many times. Not all at once, but at different points throughout my life. Not specific or important points, just those times when I fancied grapes and grapes were, by chance or purchase, available to me.



You just posted that because it was crazy and off topic so no one would post after you, didn't You? Believe me it won't work.


----------



## WyrdMystic

Phietadix said:


> You just posted that because it was crazy and off topic so no one would post after you, didn't You? Believe me it won't work.



What's crazy about eating grapes?


----------



## Ireth

WyrdMystic said:


> What's crazy about eating grapes?



That's what I'd like to know. I love grapes, especially green ones.


----------



## WyrdMystic

Ireth said:


> That's what I'd like to know. I love grapes, especially green ones.



Seedless though. And thus we have a change of topic, so anyone posting about motorbikes is now crazy and off topic.

Vive La Grape!!


----------



## Jamber

WyrdMystic said:


> Once...I ate a grape. Well not once, but many times. Not all at once, but at different points throughout my life. Not specific or important points, just those times when I fancied grapes and grapes were, by chance or purchase, available to me.



I love dolphins.


----------



## WyrdMystic

Jamber said:


> I love dolphins.



Between two slices of rye with mayonnaise?

Cherries, I like cherries. I don't love cherries, but I do like them enough to think...hmmm, that tasted nice.


----------



## The Tourist

WyrdMystic said:


> Cherries, I like cherries.



I don't like cherries.  They cry, they want you to drive them home.  Then the next day they send you flowers.  Then they complain you never call...


----------



## Reaver

WyrdMystic said:


> Between two slices of rye with mayonnaise?



That's fine for canned dolphin, but the steaks are out of this world.


----------



## The Tourist

Reaver said:


> That's fine for canned dolphin, but the steaks are out of this world.



That might be fine for you guys, but I haven't eaten any red meat, including hamburger, in almost four years.  And that's part of my strategy here.  Between my opponents' sloppy diets, my rigorous gym schedule and great genes, someday I'm going to sign onto this thread and be the last man standing...

But I will mourn you.


----------



## FatCat

You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.


----------



## Philip Overby

OK, seriously.  This is the last post on this thread.  I created it and now I'm destroying.  So guys don't post anymore.  

I'm for serious.  Don't do it.  

Don't.

Seriously...

...

Cheeseburgers...


----------



## WyrdMystic

Phil the Drill said:


> OK, seriously.  This is the last post on this thread.  I created it and now I'm destroying.  So guys don't post anymore.
> 
> I'm for serious.  Don't do it.
> 
> Don't.
> 
> Seriously...
> 
> ...
> 
> Cheeseburgers...



No problem. Ah....


----------



## Sparkie

They look like sliders to me...


----------



## Philip Overby

Sliders?  Like them?


----------



## Reaver

Superfriends.



*Firefox or Blue Thunder?*


----------



## Phietadix

Firefox

Water or Fire?


----------



## Ireth

Water.

Earth or Air?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

This isn't This or That?, so I don't need to limit myself to the two choices.

AIR!

HA HA HA HA HAAAA...!

...

What am I supposed to do with air?

*inhales*

*exhales*

But I was already doing that when I came in here.

Maybe I could use a glass of water after all. Oh. It's too late to... oh, darn.




STEALTH EDIT:

NOOOO! I GOT NINJA'd WHEN ANSWERING PHIETADIX AND NOW IT LOOKS LIKE I'M ANSWERING IRETH AND MY ANSWER MAKES SENSE! CURSES!

I'm okay now.


----------



## The Tourist

Ninja, BATF or escaped lunatic?

Wait, this isn't 'this or that.'  Never mind.


----------



## Phietadix

As this isn't this or that . . .
H.M. Murdock. (Basicly escapd lunatic)

Tea or Money?


----------



## The Tourist

Tea will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no tea.


Hayabusa or Hyatt Regency?


----------



## Philip Overby

Hey, wrong thread.  Go play this or that somewhere else.  






Hayabusa!


----------



## The Tourist

Well, it was suppoed to be sarcastic.  A Hayabusa is a fast Japanese bike, and the Hyatt Regency is a hotel.

Personally, I would rather be caught in mundane hotel chain than on a Japanese motorcycle, but that's just me and several other million riders.


----------



## Sherman

I would rather ride the train...


----------



## Philip Overby

Hayabusa is a Japanese wrestler.  Nothing else.  And here is Missy Hyatt, who the Hyatt Regency Hotels are named after.







Manager of champions.

(If you haven't noticed, I'm relating everything to wrestling now.  Why?  Because we like you.  M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!)


----------



## The Tourist

I like cheese.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Phil the Drill said:


> Hayabusa is a Japanese wrestler.  Nothing else.


Ah, yes! I remember…


----------



## Sparkie

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Ah, yes! I remember…



That brings back memories...


----------



## The Tourist

That's the difference in generations right there.  I've never heard of Hayabusa the wrestler, some of you have never heard of Hayabusa the motorcycle.

Sometimes my wife and I can sit through a whole segment of "Entertainment Tonight" listening to the reporters talk about "celebrities."  

Then we both say "who?"


----------



## Sparkie

Celebutantes are my favorite.  Famous for bring rich.


----------



## Ireth

*just noticed something* In Tolkien's elvish, "celeb" is the word for silver, the metal. It's also in the word "celebrity", and celebrities are rich, meaning they have lots of gold and _silver_. Coincidence?

...yeah, probably. XD


----------



## The Tourist

The problem with today's celebrities is that I remember actors who could actually act.  I find that the characters modern actors portray is simply an existing side of themselves.

One of the best examples I can cite is a later episode of Battlestar Galactica.  In one scene, Tricia Helfer had to play four versions of a Six Model, and with minor facial changes and her carriage made you recognize and believe they were different women.

Peter Sellers once said that "he" was bland and without anything you could ascertain.  He portrayed characters that were exciting.

Now you're not famous unless you wreck a saloon, crash a vehicle or get arrested.

Wait a minute, I'm famous...


----------



## Phietadix

So everyone, what's your favorite tea?


----------



## Ireth

Earl Grey is my favorite tea to drink on its own. As for tea lattes, I loooove chocolate chai. Those things are amazing.


----------



## The Tourist

My wife drinks chai.  Personally, I don't like the smell.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I love chai.

Next post is The Post of the Beast!



This thread will never die.


----------



## The Tourist

Legendary Sidekick said:


> This thread will never die.



What a transparent ruse to get everyone to stop posting here and grab the crown for yourself!


----------



## Phietadix

Wait theres a crown?! Ok everyone if you post again the world comes to an End!!!


----------



## The Tourist

Phietadix said:


> Wait theres a crown?! Ok everyone if you post again the world comes to an End!!!



From what I've seen lately, that would simply be euthanasia.


----------



## Ireth

I think not. ^^


----------



## The Tourist

Would you settle than for Youth in Asia?


----------



## Reaver

Phil the Drill said:


> Hey, wrong thread.  Go play this or that somewhere else.




Phil has a point. 


*Play This or That here or somewhere else?*


----------



## Phietadix

Here

Tea or Soda?


----------



## Ireth

Tea.

Water or juice?


----------



## Phietadix

Water


Pizza or Cheese Burgers


----------



## Ireth

Pizza.

Bacon or chocolate?


----------



## Phietadix

Bacon

Patatos or Onions?


----------



## Ireth

Po-ta-toes! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew...

Stew or casserole?


----------



## Phietadix

Casserole.

Fish raw and wiggly or Coney Stew?


----------



## Ireth

Coney stew.

Rivendell or the Shire?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

The Tourist said:


> What a transparent ruse to get everyone to stop posting here and grab the crown for yourself!


I could have locked the thread months ago if I wanted it that badly. Phil's in Japan. I'd have unlocked it before he woke up... he'd never know!


----------



## Phietadix

The Shire, By the way, did you have second breakfest today? Most Important meal.

Edoras or Minas Tirith?


----------



## Ireth

Minas Tirith. And yes, technically I did have a second breakfast today. XD Though it was more of a second brunch.

Fangorn or Mirkwood?


----------



## Phietadix

Fangorn, I don't like spiders, or mean elves

Fangorn or The old forest?


----------



## Philip Overby

So it's finally happened.  This thread has now started assimilating other threads, officially killing them.  It is the Borg. 







So long http://mythicscribes.com/forums/chit-chat/4336-a-58.html#post87583.  You have been assimilated.


----------



## Phietadix

. . . As I was saying

Fangorn or The Old Forest?


----------



## Sherman

Hey, I used the live in Fangorn until some Elf built this flet in my crown...


----------



## Philip Overby

I don't know which either of those are, so I'm going to say Fangorn because it sounds more evil.

New choice:

Kill this thread or make it live forever?


----------



## Phietadix

Make it live forever. Unless you're going to stop posting.
And you don't know what they are? Haven't you read Lord of the Rings or at least seen the Movies?


----------



## Sparkie

Phil the Drill said:


> I don't know which either of those are, so I'm going to say Fangorn because it sounds more evil.
> 
> New choice:
> 
> Kill this thread or make it live forever?



How do we do that?


----------



## Philip Overby

I've seen Lord of the Rings but I don't pay attention to names of things.  Fangorn sounds like an acorn with fangs.  

Sparkie:  We frame it and put it on our walls or we burn it and never speak of it again.


----------



## Phietadix

But come on. What could be better than TWO this or that threads.

Hammer or Screwdriver?


----------



## The Tourist

Screwdriver.  In a pitch, you can hammer with its handle.

Tin foil hat or flying saucer insurance?


----------



## Philip Overby




----------



## Phietadix

Tin foil hat, It's more useful.

Fantasy or Sci-Fi?


----------



## FatCat

Fantasy, because unless you have a phd that is sci-fi.

Yes or no?


Edit; forgot the question.


----------



## Reaver

FatCat said:


> Fantasy, because unless you have a phd that is sci-fi.



I think you got that mixed up. Science Fiction is a sub-genre of fantasy.

To answer your question: No.


To really screw with people: 
*
Mr. Fusion or Plutonium?*

BONUS QUESTION: What did Doc Brown fill the terrorists bomb with instead of plutonium?


----------



## WyrdMystic

Reaver said:


> BONUS QUESTION: What did Doc Brown fill the terrorists bomb with instead of plutonium?



Oooo...oooo...oooo....used pinball machine parts.....Yeah!!! I win! Woo!


----------



## The Tourist

WyrdMystic said:


> *pinball machine*



For those who were born after my old-of-date clothing came back into style, a "pinball machine" is a virtual, real time, brain wasting aparatus, heavier than a lead-lined Atari and filled with marbles.

It's only directional input is through a flipper system which simulates the miniacal, frenetic masturbation skills of the virgin who will ultimately lose the money his parents gave him for college.


----------



## WyrdMystic

The Tourist said:


> For those who were born after my old-of-date clothing came back into style, a "pinball machine" is a virtual, real time, brain wasting aparatus, heavier than a lead-lined Atari and filled with marbles.
> 
> It's only directional input is through a flipper system which simulates the miniacal, frenetic masturbation skills of the virgin who will ultimately lose the money his parents gave him for college.



And one of the only machines it was ever encourage to kick in the side every time you saw the world 'TILT' pop up on what was known as a 'dot matrix display'.


----------



## Phietadix

#700 
10/Char


----------



## Sherman

Thbthbthb--I just blasted you with my stinky smoke.


----------



## Philip Overby

I guess you guys noticed me necroposting on several old threads to get this bumped off the top spot of the challenge section.  This had two purposes:

1. To let people see some easy challenges (some were mine, some weren't) that can have rapid fire posts and be fun.  I didn't do this for the extended trigger challenges because there are no active ones at the moment.

2.  To bury Kill this Thread off the first page of the Challenges section.  I obviously failed.  

So here's my goal.  Bump this thread off the first page of the Challenges section before it reaches 1,000 posts.  (around 300 away).  This means you have to choose a side:

Help me bump it off the front page?  Or get this thread to 1,000 posts.  

How can you fight?  Here's how:

1.  Bumpers

a. post new challenges
b. post on current challenges that are already active
c. don't post on Kill this Thread

2.  Killers

a.  keep posting on Kill this Thread, the most chaotic out of control thread in the history of the world (that I created)
b.  basically that's it...







Bumper (left) tries to kill the stinking, wart-filled Kill this Thread, but is stopped in his tracks by the chaotic Killer (right).

Order vs. Chaos.  Good vs. Evil.  Who shall win?  The Bumpers or the Killers!  You decide!

That's the new challenge.  There can only be one.  

(This thread has officially jumped the shark now.)

Ayyyyyyyyyyy!


----------



## Sparkie

Phil the Drill said:


> (This thread has officially jumped the shark now.)
> 
> Ayyyyyyyyyyy!



I about died laughing at this!  Thanks Phil!


----------



## The Tourist

I'm disappointed.  I thought this thread was starting to get to be good.  Lost causes are the only things worth fighting for.


----------



## Reaver

Goodbye dear friends. Goodbye.


----------



## WyrdMystic

I have nothing to say.


----------



## Philip Overby

Ah, those of you that have posted have chosen your side now!  I swear we will strike you down--

Oh, crap.  OK, this is my last post on this thread.  For real this time.  No foolin'.


----------



## WyrdMystic

Phil the Drill said:


> Ah, those of you that have posted have chosen your side now!  I swear we will strike you down--
> 
> Oh, crap.  OK, this is my last post on this thread.  For real this time.  No foolin'.



I have seen some of the other challenges now so I reckon I'll end up with a net effect of 0.


----------



## WyrdMystic

then again - maybe not


----------



## Philip Overby

No fair!  Double post!  Evil doer!  

Rats, you tricked me again...


----------



## WyrdMystic

Phil the Drill said:


> No fair!  Double post!  Evil doer!
> 
> Rats, you tricked me again...



I read your post on one word at a time. Pretty funny! Made me laugh!


----------



## Phietadix

I'm hoping we get to one thousand


----------



## WyrdMystic

Phietadix said:


> I'm hoping we get to one thousand



Only two hundred and eighty seven to go


----------



## The Tourist

Phil the Drill said:


> I swear we will strike you down--No foolin'.



LOL, now you're just putting icing on the lasagna.

Obviously there are no bikes in your area.  The quickest way to cause fear, consternation, chaos and woe is to tell a biker he can't do something.  I might start posting ten entries a day on this nag just to encourage your displeasure.

Then, of course, our more liberal, doe-eyed, peacenik members here are going to set down their pizza rolls, walk across their basement/bedroom, rend their mom's laundry, perhaps even shut off "Friends With Words" and call me a boogerhead.

To quote Bugs Bunny, "You realize, this means war."


----------



## Phietadix

The Tourist said:


> Obviously there are no bikes in your area.  The quickest way to cause fear, consternation, chaos and woe is to tell a biker he can't do something.  I might start posting ten entries a day on this nag just to encourage your displeasure.



You shouldn't post twice in a row on the thread though remberer that.


----------



## The Tourist

Phietadix said:


> You shouldn't post twice in a row on the thread though remberer that.



Oh, I'll play by the rules--on this issue.

Isn't the point of this thread to be the "last man standing"?

Before it was a game, now it sounds like bragging rights.


----------



## Phietadix

Now it's 'Keep this thread alive'


----------



## The Tourist

Well, there's that, but I'd like to see a thread roll over 1,000 entries myself.  Kind of  like watching an odometer.


----------



## Sherman

Now I have to try the evil red font...


----------



## Philip Overby

I never said what side I was on.  :devil:


----------



## Phietadix

Now all we need is green or blue


----------



## WyrdMystic

Here is GREEN and here is BLUE

And is there such a thing as a game thats not for bragging rights?


----------



## Phietadix

This or That perhaps?


----------



## Sherman

Evil yellow!


----------



## Phietadix

Any more besides Yellow, Blue, Green, or Red. White, pink, brown maybe?


----------



## WyrdMystic

Purple of course and then we can play with size or font


----------



## Sherman

Color font and size.


----------



## The Tourist

_I just got back from the gym, and I'm tired.  So tired, this is my font_...


----------



## WyrdMystic

the tourist said:


> _i just got back from the gym, and i'm tired.  So tired, this is my font_...



i didn't go to the gym. And i had coffee. I also have caps lock on.


----------



## The Tourist

Lucky you.  I did 90 minutes on the steps, bi's, tri's, dips, crunches, the crunch machine, and palms down curls for forearms

I tried the new legs machine for biceps major, but my legs were pretty tired.  I'll do the full spectrum on legs day.

Next time you play hookie and have latte' going on, call me...


----------



## Phietadix

What no brown font?


----------



## Cheezyb10

One time, I saw a rainbow.


----------



## The Tourist

That's nothing, this one time at band camp...

Oh, and BTW, I'm going through a list of cartoon characters so I bring myself up to speed on current trends.  I do find it unusual that I can polish hammered and folded Japanese steel, but I cannot identify their cartoon characters.


----------



## Phietadix

Once I've seen two full rainbows at the same time


----------



## Ireth

Phietadix said:


> Once I've seen two full rainbows at the same time



Same here. ^^ And once I almost got hit by lightning. Totally not joking, btw -- it hit the ground maybe ten feet from where I was standing. Scary stuff.


----------



## WyrdMystic

Ireth said:


> Same here. ^^ And once I almost got hit by lightning. Totally not joking, btw -- it hit the ground maybe ten feet from where I was standing. Scary stuff.



But such an awesome thing to witness I bet.

I like bubbles.


----------



## FatCat

WyrdMystic said:


> I like bubbles.



Impossible.


----------



## The Tourist

And I still like cheese.


----------



## Phietadix

I don't like American Cheese even though I'm an American. But I do like cheddar.


----------



## Butterfly

I've been to Cheddar... they got a huge gorge there...

Cheddar Gorge - Visitor information - National Trust

... in fact it's just the place to gorge yourself on... er.... cheddar


----------



## WyrdMystic

If I had anything to say about cheese, I would probably say it here.

I like cheese 

...and bubbles.


----------



## Phietadix

*Bubbles?* Intresting.

I like Tea


----------



## WyrdMystic

I don't like tea. I do like coffee. I'm supposed to like tea, but I don't, I like bubbles......bubbles and cheese.....bubbles and cheese and coffee.....and decapitation.


----------



## Butterfly

But... Which do you prefer?

Square, Round, or Pyramid tea bags?


----------



## Phietadix

It doesn't really matter as long as it's good tea.


----------



## Butterfly

Well, IMO... Pyramids make the best. Gotta be all that extra room that allows the tea leaves to move about and infuse the water with much more flavour. Yes... pyramids make a far superior brew to any other.


----------



## FatCat

I disagree, without rational cause of course.


----------



## WyrdMystic

FatCat said:


> I disagree, without rational cause of course.



The best kind of disagree. Why, if people went around disagreeing with rational reasons we'd be left having informative debates all the time. What kind of world would that be? Not the kind I want to live in I say! Nothing worse than a bunch of people going around knowing stuff about things.


----------



## FatCat

Knowledge is definitely overrated. I prefer sensualist ecstasy and base-desires fueled by ignorance and hedonistic savagery.


----------



## Philip Overby

So close...


----------



## Drakhov

But would you consider _knowledge _of such hedonistic savagery and sensualist ecstasy overated also?


----------



## WyrdMystic

Absolutely! Hence an unhealthy does of ignorance is required to water down the heady shot of hedonistic savagery and sensualist ecstasy


----------



## FatCat

Precisely, if not for ignorance then such knowledge would burden true desire! I'm starting a cult if anyone's interested, it involves orgies, drugs, and required lobotomies. Such a movement will be remembered (and soon forgotten, should everything go according to plan) as the post-modern Renaissance.


----------



## WyrdMystic

What would you call such a cult oh master of ignorance, orgies, drugs and brain surgery designed to unburden the masses of their stupid intelligence?


----------



## FatCat

The Zerg. /10 char


----------



## Sparkie

WyrdMystic said:


> What would you call such a cult oh master of ignorance, orgies, drugs and brain surgery designed to unburden the masses of their stupid intelligence?



Frat boys.


----------



## Phietadix

Nobodys posted here for a while, we don't want this thread to die do we?


----------



## WyrdMystic

No, I guess we all ran out of slightly funny crazy things to say and were waiting for someone to set us off again.


----------



## Phietadix

We could always make this thread something useful . . . . . . yeah that's not going to happen
So what kind of pie does everyone like?


----------



## T.Allen.Smith

Fruit pie of any type. Apple & sour cherry top the list though.


----------



## WyrdMystic

Awesome. Sweet - got to be either cherry or lemon meringue. Savoury - ha! Cherry or lemon meringue!!!

Vive la pie!


----------



## Butterfly

I like warm waffles with carte d'or vanilla ice cream and maple syrup.


----------



## WyrdMystic

Nice! Okay, so we've covered fonts, colours, hedonism, bubbles, randomness and pies. What else? Oh, of course. Who likes otters?


----------



## Phietadix

Otters are nice, they also use polearms a lot.


----------



## Nihal

Polearms are so classy.


----------



## Phietadix

Now mice can use anything but they seem to like slingshots.


----------



## Nihal

Hmmm... slingshots aren't so fun. Do they also use meteor hammers? Meteor hammers are awesome!



Give up trying to kill this topic. What is dead may never die!


----------



## Phietadix

Well one had a big fancy sword, but I don't think any of them had hammers.


----------



## Nihal

Nah, it's not a hammer, it's a (gruesome) "variation" of the rope dart. Still, it's beautiful to watch, like an intricate dance.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

*Locking thread.

*


...yeah, you got me. I was bluffin'.


----------



## WyrdMystic

Don't you flaunt your power at us Mr Moderator....we ar the voice of madness to which there is no method and we shall never....erm....err.......octupus?


----------



## Nihal

Aarrr! Oh, wait, I've got it all mixed up... nevermind.


----------



## Butterfly

What? Again?

One Weak Kraken - YouTube

(No idea how to get it up big like your's)


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

WyrdMystic said:


> Don't you flaunt your power at us Mr Moderator.


But-but-but… it's the only power of have.

Other than when I imagine myself as a 6'9" barbarian woman!

Then I have the power to creep people out.

That's not a good power to have.


----------



## Phietadix

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Other than when I imagine myself as a 6'9" barbarian woman!



I wonder how many people besides me understood that reference, Nihal should.


----------



## Nihal

Hahaha! Yeah I get it, but the rest of the common mor- *ahem* ...normal people... they must be WTH right now.

Hey, I am a... *runs to google to convert, your metric system is so... not metric!* ...5'1" woman and I can creep out people anyway. Actually being short and light plays a role on this. They would never imagine I'm a killer when I'm following them at night.


Butterfly, I can post big videos because I've got the *power of the Kraken*!

Oh, well... Ok ok, have fun!


		HTML:
	

[video]The regular youtube video's URL goes there[/video]


----------



## FatCat

Kraken is darn-good-dark-rum*. Only mixed with coke, never pepsi, and you can go no wrong...or if you do you don't remember. Win-win. 

*-Grammar-wise, is this acceptable?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Phietadix said:


> I wonder how many people besides me understood that reference, Nihal should.


The fun part is when _almost_ nobody gets it. That way, I creep people out, but a select few know that it wasn't a random comment. And now that I've stated it's not random, those not in the know wonder how it's not random. "Does this guy don warpaint and drive down the street in a fur bikini while blasting _Ride of the Valkyries _from his stereo?" they might have asked had I not ruined it with explanation.

Sorry... this is "Kill this Thread," not "Kill the Fun." My bad.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Nihal said:


> Hey, I am a... *runs to google to convert, your metric system is so... not metric!* ...5'1" woman


Oh... right. I'm not six-foot-anything. So besides going in drag I'd need 11" high heels. Where do I find those?


----------



## Phietadix

Hey! No posting twice in a row!


----------



## Nihal

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Oh... right. I'm not six-foot-anything. So besides going in drag I'd need 11" high heels. Where do I find those?



This one has 8" heels. Wear a hat!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

8" heels? I better wear a hat AND not walk on stairs.



Phietadix said:


> Hey! No posting twice in a row!



Who left the country and made you mod?


Reaver or Phil?


----------



## Phietadix

Phil the Drill said:


> *You can only post again after someone else has posted.*



I quess I'll say Phil since he's the one who made the rule


----------



## Nihal

Once I had to wear 2" heels. I was terrified of walking and there were stairs. Thanks to my midget reflexes I didn't fall.

Have fun with your 8" heels, go for it, _girl_!

Unrelated: Oh man, my monitor is dead. I was planning to buy a new one, yes, but not now. *cries*


----------



## Phietadix

Alright, here's a riddle for any readin, Kill this thread:

_   I am among the largest things imaginable; I'm among the smallest things you see.
   I am seen when all is hidden, I am hidden when all is seen.
   What am I?_


----------



## Nihal

Nooo, almost a week has passed with me as the last poster! Ã².o


Hmph. I answer your riddle with *darkness*.


----------



## Phietadix

Nihal said:


> Nooo, almost a week has passed with me as the last poster! Ã².o
> 
> 
> Hmph. I answer your riddle with *darkness*.



. . . But I was away for the weekend, I don't want this thread to die. And the answer to the riddle is not Darkness.


----------



## Nihal

... but it could be. Ã¹.u'

I don't want this topic to die either. I want to kill it. With my bare hands. See the last spark of it's eyes... ok, ok, back to your riddle. *Eyelids*? (hahahaha, wtf brain!)


----------



## Phietadix

. . . Nope, not Eyelids


----------



## FatCat




----------



## Phietadix

Yes the answer is stars . . . that is assuming you're answering the riddle


----------



## FatCat

Phietadix said:


> Yes the answer is stars . . . that is assuming you're answering the riddle



What riddle?


----------



## Phietadix

Phietadix said:


> Alright, here's a riddle for any readin, Kill this thread:
> 
> _   I am among the largest things imaginable; I'm among the smallest things you see.
> I am seen when all is hidden, I am hidden when all is seen.
> What am I?_



This riddle.


----------



## Nihal

Damn.

Technically the Sun is one of the stars and it's must be visible, not hidden so we're able to see.


----------



## Phietadix

Nihal said:


> Technically the Sun is one of the stars and it's must be visible, not hidden so we're able to see.



The answer was originally Distant Star, so the sun wouldn't count


----------



## FatCat

Oh. I just like stars. They sure do got a purty glow.


----------



## PlotHolio

You smell funny.


----------



## Nihal

You're wearing either a wolf or a big rat pelt. I guess that's where the smell is coming from.


----------



## PlotHolio

It's a Tankuki Suit.


----------



## Nihal

Canine! Close enough.


----------



## Phietadix

Anyway, in order to depress everyone, I have another riddle.

_We may be here for just a moment, or we may stay for many days.
When together, many hate us, many love us, but we can't hate or love them back.
We cannot think, we cannot speak, yet each of us unique.
What are we?_


----------



## Ireth

Phietadix said:


> _We may be here for just a moment, or we may stay for many days.
> When together, many hate us, many love us, but we can't hate or love them back.
> We cannot think, we cannot speak, yet each of us unique.
> What are we?_



Snowflakes!


----------



## Phietadix

You got that one far too easily. Anyway a little later you'll a real hard one but here's a simple one for now.

_Those who have more of me want less of me, those who have less of me want more of me.
I am always growing and expereinece grows with me.
What am I?_


----------



## Nihal

Phietadix said:


> _Those who have more of me want less of me, those who have less of me want more of me.
> I am always growing and expereinece grows with me.
> What am I?_


The answer is *age*


----------



## Phietadix

That was too quick as well. Well here's a hard one:

_I do not truly exist, but many see me.
I hold treasures great but no treasure at all.
What am I?_


----------



## Nihal

Phietadix said:


> _I do not truly exist, but many see me.
> I hold treasures great but no treasure at all.
> What am I?_



Here we go... first try: *Worth*.
u.u


----------



## Phietadix

Nope, try again


----------



## Nihal

Second try: *Knowledge*.

According to Bilbo's rules I got only 1 more try.


----------



## Phietadix

Nope not knowagle either, and I'm not following Bilbo's rules, you get as many tries as you want to waste on my riddles.


----------



## Butterfly

Nothing


      kjgljtg


----------



## Phietadix

Nope not nothing or kjgljtg


----------



## PlotHolio

_The best movie ever made, next to Manos, The Hands of Fate._


----------



## Sparkie

_The best movie ever made, next to Manos, The Hands of Fate._

Funniest MST3K episode ever!


----------



## Phietadix

Here's a post just to make sure this thread keeps breathing.


----------



## FatCat

I once urinated on a lawn gnome, the reason being that if somebody was drunk enough, they would do it. I was drunk enough. Next post, say something crazy you've done. (And no lies! You shifty-eyed avatars!)


----------



## Nihal

Threads do not breath. I don't drink.


----------



## Sparkie

FatCat said:


> I once urinated on a lawn gnome, the reason being that if somebody was drunk enough, they would do it. I was drunk enough. Next post, say something crazy you've done. (And no lies! You shifty-eyed avatars!)



Me and my friends once went into a Burger King and ordered Whoppers...  In our underwear.  That particular Burger King closed soon afterward.  I wanted to claim it was because of our actions, but in reality it was probably the dead rats the Health Department found.


----------



## The Unseemly

Perhaps not crazy so much as derpy...

Part of my truly modified version of how to bake a cake, for gentlemen (yes, I did do this once):

16. Put the cake into the oven.
17. If, after an hour, no progress has been made, turn the oven on.


----------



## PlotHolio

I'm not sure if it's appropriate to go into details, so I'll play it safe and just say that I enjoy finding... _interesting_ places to... spend quality time with... my girlfriend. Sometimes that gets pretty crazy.


----------



## Nihal

This topic shall not die by your hands!

Here, have a totally random gif:


----------



## PlotHolio

Unfortunately, the topic has died by my hands. The rules say it has to remain dormant for over one day. I'm sorry, Nihal, but your post is 12 hours late. D:


----------



## Nihal

If that's the case I've won it pages ago. My post was the last one for 5 days or so, you pretentious _squirrel_!


----------



## Philip Overby

If you're bored, go back and read several pages of this thread.  It's died about 20 times.  

Muffins.


----------



## Nihal

Yup, I think so.

I would rather have a cake.


----------



## PlotHolio

Cheesecake.


----------



## T.Allen.Smith

What is dead may never die but rises again harder and stronger.

Pie.


----------



## Phietadix

_*Tea*_

/10Char


----------



## PlotHolio

Popcorn.


----------



## Devora

What can not kill this thread only makes it stronger.


----------



## Phietadix

It appears the only way to kill this thread is to make it be forgotten. And that's proabably Impossible.


----------



## FatCat




----------



## Nihal




----------



## PlotHolio




----------



## The Unseemly

Heh, internets these days...


----------



## Nihal

I would never imagine I'd have a laptop which is better than my PC. Lovely new toy!


Meanwhile... Is this an internet battle, *uh*?!


----------



## Phietadix

Did you kill it again!
But it Will Never Die. :insertevillaughhere


----------



## Nihal

Hmph.


*RAISE from the dead, Thread, I command you!*


----------



## Jessquoi

I like turtles.


----------



## Phietadix

I like mice with big swords that build huge Red fortresses. All hail Martin the Warrior.

I Like Tea


----------



## Nihal

Ok, let me try to kill this topic again.


I like half-robots who goes shopping.


----------



## Phietadix

So what's your new avatar? It doesn't look like Mauve.


----------



## Nihal

It's my usual avatar in forums, I got tired of Mauve.

And don't try to steal this topic from me!


----------



## PlotHolio

Who's Mauve and who is that in your new avatar?


----------



## Nihal

Mauve is an old RPG character I've resurrected to play Dragon's Egg. This new avatar is an antagonist of one silly story of mine.


*still the last poster*


----------



## Phietadix

Nihal said:


> *still the last poster*



I saw that! Now I'm the last poster!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

No, I am.

*:THREAD LOCKED:*



(Fingers crossed—nobody test-post, nobody test-post, nobody test-post…)


----------



## Phietadix

(Test-post.)


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

That NEVER works!


----------



## Nihal

Nope, it doesn't.


----------



## Phietadix

This has gone on to long
*:Thread Locked:*
(Now if I'm luckey, no one will notice that I'm not a Moderator)


----------



## Nihal

Oh, hey, look! It seems I'm able to unlock threads!


----------



## Sparkie

Greatest putt-putt shot of all time - YouTube


----------



## Phietadix

Well, For any mod who really wants to abuse their power, you could delete all posts after you own for 24 hours, sure it's cheating, sure it will make eniemes with everyone on the fourm, but think, you won Kill This Thread.


----------



## Nihal

Sparkie said:


> Greatest putt-putt shot of all time - YouTube



That's... awesome! Hahaha!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Phietadix said:


> Well, For any mod who really wants to abuse their power, you could delete all posts after you own for 24 hours, sure it's cheating, sure it will make eniemes with everyone on the fourm, but think, you won Kill This Thread.


Considering it… aw, but I can't delete the ghost ball. I'm backing down.


----------



## Nihal

You would have to keep deleting posts for more than 24 hours anywaaaay...


----------



## Butterfly

OMG!"!!!!!

Just noticed my reputation has hit 666.... arrrggrghghrghrghghr



Get rid of it, get rid of it... someone get rid of it!!!



Anyone!!


----------



## Nihal

Here, here, you'll be fine. *pats his back*


----------



## Nihilium 7th

That's what people say before something bad happens.


----------



## Nihal




----------



## Butterfly

Rescued!!! Crisis averted thanks to Nihal.


----------



## Nihilium 7th

Or has it? :devil:


----------



## Phietadix

Nihilium 7th said:


> Or has it? :devil:



No, no, no. Have you learned nothing? Here is how you should have said it.



Or has it?:insertevillaughhere


----------



## Nihilium 7th

Hmmmm I see :nerd: Lesson learned.


----------



## Butterfly

More to the point... If thanks push the rep up in points of 5. Then where did the extra 1 point come from?


----------



## Nihilium 7th

hmmm.......a mystery


----------



## Nihal

If I remove my thanks your reputation doesn't change back to 666. I wanted to see the hope disappear from your eyes. *sad panda*


----------



## Butterfly

It won't . Someone else thanked me elsewhere.  :showoff:


----------



## Nihilium 7th

I knew it! Nihal you scoundrel I Nihilium will smite thee!


----------



## Nihal

Nah, I re-thanked to see if would increase. During the whole time you kept 676 points.

Nihilium, what makes you think you're even able to lay a finger on me?


----------



## Phietadix

Nihal said:


> Nihilium, what makes you think you're even able to lay a finger on me?



Because you're a pitiful mage who has severely injured herself and can't cast a single spell?


----------



## Nihilium 7th

Phietadix said:


> Because you're a pitiful mage who has severely injured herself and can't cast a single spell?



And also because you cannot fight what you cant see


----------



## Phietadix

Nihilium 7th said:


> And also because you cannot fight what you cant see



Jedi fight better when they can't see their enemy


----------



## Nihilium 7th

Well we all know that Jedi can be blinded with by dark side of the force. And it just so happens that I am a sith.


----------



## Nihal

Phietadix said:


> Because you're a pitiful mage who has severely injured herself and can't cast a single spell?









At least... at least I don't fool around petting wolves which are trying to bite my head off. Or worst, my friends' heads!


----------



## Nihilium 7th

now I feel bad for you Nihal.


----------



## Nihal

Nihilium 7th said:


> now I feel bad for you Nihal.


----------



## Nihilium 7th

You will try


----------



## Phietadix

Nihal said:


> At least... at least I don't fool around petting wolves which are trying to bite my head off. Or worst, my friends' heads!



Hey! That wolf was defenseless. It was against my knights code to do anything besides what I did.


----------



## Nihal

Phietadix said:


> Hey! That wolf was defenseless. It was against my knights code to do anything besides what I did.


You, Sir, are a fool. I'm sure the other party members agree. >3


----------



## Phietadix

You, Mauve are a horrible mage who can't really be called a mage because you can't cast a single spell. I'm sure the other party members agree.


----------



## Nihal

One of us may end this encounter missing a body part and this person isn't the horrible mage.


----------



## Phietadix

Yes, that person is Cadell.


----------



## Ireth

Phietadix said:


> Yes, that person is Cadell.



Eh, done that already. XD

Seriously though, Sparkie needs to log on and get Rydh to heal Cadell's wrist before the guy bleeds out. And someone might want to make sure he doesn't get frostbite all over his face, too.


----------



## Nihal

Phietadix said:


> Yes, that person is Cadell.


And because Matthew is such a nice guy, he wants to get maimed so Cadell isn't the only one. 




Ireth said:


> Seriously though, Sparkie needs to log on and get Rydh to heal Cadell's wrist before the guy bleeds out. And someone might want to make sure he doesn't get frostbite all over his face, too.


I'm sorry, I've got bandages and the kind of character who would do it, but she's too busy freaking out at the moment. Ask to the dog trainer. ^^


----------



## Phietadix

Nihal said:


> You, Sir, are a fool.



I'm surprised it took you this long to realize this.


----------



## Nihal

Phietadix said:


> I'm surprised it took you this long to realize this.



You already answered this same post you quoted, yet took _4 hours_ to fully understand it's message. TouchÃ©.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I just hope Rydh moves slow enough so Baldhart can steal borrow Llucheden before Cadell wakes up.


----------



## Sparkie

Rydh?  Move slow?  Sure.  He'll have to in order to move away from the fight and not die.

Since the Dragon's Egg gang has temporarily comandeered this thread, let me ask this question:  Does anyone else think it's strange that we have a party of eight and only four of us are fighting?  (Note:  I'm still counting Cadell as fighting.  Even when passed out he's contributing more than, say, Sir Matthew right now.)


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Sir Matthew cried at the end of _Old Yeller_. This is a character defining moment for our former general in shining armor.



Spoiler: why Sir Matthew is no longer a general



"General," says Captain Briggs, "we spotted the enemy. If we head toward that cliff six marchlings east, our archers can rain a storm of arrows down upon them."

Sir Matthew ponders. "A battle with casualties on only one side. A general who achieves such a feat when two armies of ten thousand face each other would be famous!" He rides Amaroq in front of the men. "To the cliff's edge! March forward until I give my next command."

The army marches toward the cliff's edge. Sir Matthew waves at the men. His Ten Thousand Brothers.

"Eif! Eif!"

Sir Matthew hears a strange sound. He looks down. "What's this?" He dismounts this steed. "Awwww, it's a cute wittle puppy. I'm gonna call you Snoogles, cuz you're a snoogly wittle poochy coochy!" He tickles the dog for several hours--until somewhere to the east, he hears a disturbing sound.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Split! Splat! Spa-chunk!

The screams and splatters go on for several minutes, until it is apparent that all nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine of Sir Matthew's men are dead.

"Amaroq," Sir Matthew cries in alarm, "to Northport! We must leave the continent immediately!"

"Whinny-y-y-y," Amaroq says in agreement.


* * * * *​SOMEWHERE SIX MARCHLINGS EAST AND THIRTY-SEVEN FALTHINGS DOWNWARD...


"General," says Captain Frump of the Enemy Army, "did you see that?"

"Yes," General Killt replies. "I'll be famous!"


----------



## Phietadix

You seem to be severly misreading the post on the subject. Sir Matthew is treating the wolf's wounds. A. Because it is severely wounded and it is against his code to kill it. (See, Dragon's Egg: Classes for why) B. It would be a powerful ally if it joins our side. He is not petting it, playing with it, or giving it dog biscuits


----------



## Nihal

Sparkie said:


> Does anyone else think it's strange that we have a party of eight and only four of us are fighting?



Heeeeeeey, I'm trying!






_Techinically, Mauve is more like a prisoner of your party than a member._


----------



## Phietadix

I wonder how many people are reading this and have no idea what we're talking about


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

All but five.


----------



## Sparkie

Dramatic Chipmunk - YouTube


----------



## Ireth

Phietadix said:


> I wonder how many people are reading this and have no idea what we're talking about



Probably quite a few. XD Inside jokes and the like are fun.


----------



## Nihal

They're mean. Fun, but as mean as Sir Matthew is! Oh, if I was you I wouldn't be so mean to Mauve.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Phietadix said:


> You seem to be severly misreading the post on the subject. Sir Matthew is treating the wolf's wounds. A. Because it is severely wounded and it is against his code to kill it. (See, Dragon's Egg: Classes for why) B. It would be a powerful ally if it joins our side. He is not petting it, playing with it, or giving it dog biscuits


He's right. I checked the code.


> Code of Conduct
> 
> The Knight follows a strict code of conduct and honor. This can be established between the player and GM. A typical Code of Conduct is provided below. The player may wish some variation on this, but it should be relatively close:
> 
> 
> 
> Courage. A Knight does not flee. So long as any hope of victory remains, the Knight is bound to fight until death or until victory is achieved.
> Defense. The Knight defends her liege, nation, family, and all those who depend on her strength or are under her protection.
> Discretion. A Knight does not demean others, does not gossip, spread lies, or commit slander.
> Excellence. The Knight strives for excellence in everything she undertakes.
> Faith. The Knight has a firm faith in her beliefs. She does not waver.
> Honor. The Knight is honest is dealing with others and quick to remedy an injustice. She keeps her word and follows through on commitments. She performs deeds that bring honor to her and her liege. She does not attack unarmed or helpless foes, or those who beg for mercy.
> Humility. It is unseemly for a Knight to be boastful. She does not trumpet her own accomplishments, but praises the contributions of others.
> Justice. The Knight seeks justice and the 'right' path, without regard to personal interests or bias. She strives to punish the guilty, but remembers that justice without mercy can be unjust it and of itself. She treats others with fairness and honesty, and mediates disputes impartially.
> Largesse. The Knight is as generous as possible.
> Loyalty. The Knight's word is her bond, and an oath sworn is never broken. She keeps sacred any confidence entrusted to her.
> Nobility. The Knight strives for perfection even though she knows it cannot be achieved. She seeks stature by upholding the virtues of her Knighthood.
> Valor. The Knight acts with valor in all things, and faces death in the same manner.
> Wolf Ticklery. The Knight will suddenly acquire a severe case of ADD as soon as his wounded horse punches a wolf so hard that it rolls onto its belly and lies dormant in the 'tickle me' position. He will immediately cease to focus on the task at hand and make repeated attempts to tickle the wolf until the wolf either succumbs to Ticklery or bites the Knight's entire face off.


----------



## Ireth

^ This. I lol'd.


----------



## Nihal

Oh my god! Hahaha!

Phietadix, you can bully Mauve if it makes you feel better about your Wolf Ticklery, ok?


----------



## Phietadix

You missed one


> Code of Conduct
> 
> The Knight follows a strict code of conduct and honor. This can be established between the player and GM. A typical Code of Conduct is provided below. The player may wish some variation on this, but it should be relatively close:
> 
> 
> 
> -Courage. A Knight does not flee. So long as any hope of victory remains, the Knight is bound to fight until death or until victory is achieved.
> -Defense. The Knight defends her liege, nation, family, and all those who depend on her strength or are under her protection.
> -Discretion. A Knight does not demean others, does not gossip, spread lies, or commit slander.
> -Excellence. The Knight strives for excellence in everything she undertakes.
> -Faith. The Knight has a firm faith in her beliefs. She does not waver.
> -Honor. The Knight is honest is dealing with others and quick to remedy an injustice. She keeps her word and follows through on commitments. She performs deeds that bring honor to her and her liege. She does not attack unarmed or helpless foes, or those who beg for mercy.
> -Humility. It is unseemly for a Knight to be boastful. She does not trumpet her own accomplishments, but praises the contributions of others.
> -Justice. The Knight seeks justice and the 'right' path, without regard to personal interests or bias. She strives to punish the guilty, but remembers that justice without mercy can be unjust it and of itself. She treats others with fairness and honesty, and mediates disputes impartially.
> -Largesse. The Knight is as generous as possible.
> -Loyalty. The Knight's word is her bond, and an oath sworn is never broken. She keeps sacred any confidence entrusted to her.
> -Nobility. The Knight strives for perfection even though she knows it cannot be achieved. She seeks stature by upholding the virtues of her Knighthood.
> -Valor. The Knight acts with valor in all things, and faces death in the same manner.
> -Death Sentence. The Knight kills those who misintrept posts by saying that the knight plays with wolves


----------



## Nihal

Phietadix said:


> You missed one



*pat pat*

I need to write down 10 characters so it gets posted, so I'm going do a magician trick! Shazam!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

You need to alphabetize the codes. Death Sentence goes between these two:

_•Courage. A Knight does not flee. So long as any hope of victory remains, *the Knight is bound to fight* until death or *until victory is achieved*._
_•Defense. *The Knight defends* her liege, nation, family, and all *those who depend on her strength* or are under her protection._


I don't mean offense by making light of your character's action, but unless you wrote your own codes, Honor just means you don't attack an enemy who's helpless or begging for mercy. Even then, the wolf isn't helpless—it's still attacking your character!

Like I said earlier, I'm cool with how everyone plays their characters (at least if it doesn't lead to easily avoidable player deaths). Just be aware that whether your character comes off as a hero or comic relief is based on how you write him. Sir Matthew led the charge onto the battlefield: heroic! He even came off as the sensible one when he shot down Baldhart's idea to give the dwarves a ride. But this Wolf Ticklery thing… maybe it's heroic to dog-lovers. I don't know. I'm more of a cat goddess person.


----------



## Sparkie

Kevin Costner played with wolves...


----------



## Nihal

So the now dead goblins are actually indigenous people from the North?


----------



## Phietadix

You almost killed this thread again, but I have stolen it from you!


----------



## Nihal

Phietadix said:


> You almost killed this thread again, but I have stolen it from you!



Damn, you saw right through it!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Saved at the 23rd hour!


----------



## Phietadix

I declare that before anyone posts again, our tale must be told to the dwarves ((This should kill it.))


----------



## Nihal

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Saved at the 23rd hour!



You won't steal this kill from me. GET OUT!









Humph.

P.s.: @Phietadix I ninja'ed your kill. It's the only kind of ninja'ing you can do _after_ someone posts.


----------



## Devor

Phietadix said:


> I declare that before anyone posts again, our tale must be told to the dwarves ((This should kill it.))



I've told my tale to the dwarfs.

. . . . . 

Well, I've no idea what you're talking about, either.


----------



## Phietadix

Devor said:


> I've told my tale to the dwarfs.
> 
> . . . . .
> 
> Well, I've no idea what you're talking about, either.



Sorry, unless you're part of the Dragon's Egg nothing for the last couple of pages will make any sense to you.

Edit: Also, the pural of dwarf is dwarves not dwarfs.


----------



## Nihal

RPG!


----------



## Devor

Phietadix said:


> Edit: Also, the pural of dwarf is dwarves not dwarfs.



Not in England, or in Warhammer.


----------



## Ireth

Phietadix said:


> Edit: Also, the pural of dwarf is dwarves not dwarfs.



Only in the sense of dwarves being a fantasy race, I'm pretty sure. If they're little people like you see in real life, they're dwarfs.


----------



## Phietadix

We're very close to the Thousand post mark!


----------



## Reaver

I like dwarfs and dwarves. They make me laugh.


----------



## Nihal

Tyrion! \o/

*fangirl mode*


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Tyrion beats a man to death by repeatedly bludgeoning his face with a shield. _This one's for the ladies!_


----------



## Nihal

I can't remember if it happens in the books. Oh well, bloody deaths are cool anyway.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Well, it happened in the HBO series. That's all I know.


----------



## Nihal

I need to read the books again, sloooowly. I've read them so fast that I can't remember half of the details.


----------



## Phietadix

Well, you killed it (Again.)

But it never dies, it is impossible:insertevillaughhere


----------



## Nihal

*crosses arms*


u.u


----------



## Phietadix

I really want to see this hit a thousand. I won't let it's death stop that from happening.


----------



## The Unseemly

<Insert Random Post Here to Satisfy Phietadix's Wishes>

And a bunch of random extra character's as the word filler.


----------



## PlotHolio

I'll keep it alive with nostalgia!
[video=youtube_share;SIhEpjnaNlo]http://youtu.be/SIhEpjnaNlo[/video]


----------



## Nihal

Oookay, I'm going to allow this topic to see it's 1000Âº post before killing it.

^
This cartoon a little _too _nostalgic for me, I never got the chance to see this one during my childhood. They ran other series like She-Ra, He-Man, Captain Planet, Wildfire.

And this... When they ran this series they always cut off the opening, I only saw it a bunch of years ago, on the internet.


----------



## Nihilium 7th

the sheer amount of nostalgia in this thread is suffocating me


----------



## Nihal

Nihilium 7th said:


> the sheer amount of nostalgia in this thread is suffocating me



Yay, one less to steal the kill! :3


----------



## Phietadix

Only 70 more posts to go.


----------



## PlotHolio

Then I'll give you some fake nostalgia in the vein of what Nihal posted.


----------



## Nihal

PlotHolio said:


> Then I'll give you some fake nostalgia in the vein of what Nihal posted.


Hey, it may look like if it was 10, 15 years ago at best, but the D&D series ran on TV *30 years* ago!


----------



## PlotHolio

Interesting.

But it doesn't have Draggie the Dragon.


----------



## FatCat




----------



## Nihilium 7th

Nooooooooooo! After so many years that song has once again lodged itself into my brain.


----------



## FatCat

You and me, Nihilium. Let's take this world over together. Romance, conquest, what more could you ask for? Domination is not a goal, it's a fundamental fact. We can do it.


----------



## Nihilium 7th

FatCat said:


> You and me, Nihilium. Let's take this world over together. Romance, conquest, what more could you ask for? Domination is not a goal, it's a fundamental fact. We can do it.



I have one question.........Will there be cheese?


----------



## FatCat

Whatever type of cheese you desire.


----------



## Nihal




----------



## Philip Overby

This thread has become like the 4chan of Mythic Scribes.  Except...cleaner.


----------



## Nihal

A G rated 4chan!


Ooooh, rainstorm here. Teheee!


----------



## Philip Overby

I want to take a vote.  When this thread reaches 1,000 posts, what do you want to happen?

1.  Leave it here to never erode like some kind of obsidian mountain of despair.
2.  Move it to Chit-Chat, where it can enjoy new company and not get in the way of, you know, actual challenges?
3.  Close it forever with the Seven Keys of Jir-Matog.


----------



## Phietadix

I vote 2. It should really have been there all along


----------



## Nihal

4. We should sacrifice it to the old gods.


----------



## Philip Overby

Phietadix said:


> I vote 2. It should really have been there all along



Well, when I made it I didn't think people would keep posting on it forever.  So, yeah...

Also, it was intended to be a place to post stories as well, but that would require productivity and this thread is the opposite of that.


----------



## Nihal

It _is_ productive! You gotta know how to research to be able to post imbecile things here!

But, hey, we can still post stories.


----------



## Nihilium 7th

FatCat said:


> Whatever type of cheese you desire.



Then you have me and cheesy spells at your service.


----------



## Sparkie

Everyone, I have an announcement:

Storytelling is why we're here.  We need to be serious about storytelling.  This is primarily a writing site, and we should keep it that way.  No more joking.  No more absurd posts, horseplay, or erratic behavior.

There, I said it.  If you have any questions, please consult the following link:

Serious Fun


----------



## Philip Overby

Well, Sparkie's statement has some nuggets of truth in it.


----------



## Nihal

Nom!

/10char


----------



## Caged Maiden

I'll post a story for you Phil.  One of my 30 days shorts:

The stars and planets swirled around Mystya as she reclined on a bed of pink clouds, her ethereal home, a vast tract of the astral plane, abuzz with the forces of creative magic.  A great river of force flowed above, sparkling with tiny fragments of spirits and magic.

Mystya, overcome with a silly urge, lifted her right hand up to pull a thread of the creative power down.  She stood from her cloud throne and, with both hands working, weaved the magic into a sphere.  Purple ribbons swirled around yellow streaks, and pink sparkles.

When she was done shaping the magic, Mystya used her own magic, by touching her index finger to the newly-formed creature, turning it from a ball of creative energy, into a squirrelicorn.

Whiteish-gray it was, with a fluffy tail and a bone-white horn on its rodent head.  Mystya smiled proudly; it wasn’t the weirdest thing she’d ever made.


----------



## Phietadix

Nice story. But it seems a little too sane and well thought out to be on this thread.


----------



## Nihal

Yup. The fluffly thing should kill Mystya and become a new god... or something along those lines.


----------



## PlotHolio

You should adapt this:


----------



## Phietadix

I think if I post now I can save this thread from death. (But you've killed it several time already so it doesn't matter much) A word of advice for all at this Fourm. Ninjas are Everywhere.

Edit: This post was ninja'd


----------



## PlotHolio




----------



## Philip Overby

PlotHolio said:


> You should adapt this:



I was going to search "jacked" on Google.  Meaning someone who is muscular.  Instead I got a bunch of gruesome 4th degree burns.  So, yeah, don't search that.  

My second search was more fruitful. 







Then there's always the fighter jet made of biceps.  Good times...


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I picture a squad of slightly less muscular weightlifters tipping him^ sideways and carrying him away to his next photo-shoot, since I don't know how that guy can possibly move. Just in case he can, I won't say that to his face. If he can move, he can beat up my SUV.


----------



## PlotHolio

For you, Phil.


----------



## Nihal

You're starting to freak me out.


----------



## Sparkie

Starting???


----------



## Philip Overby

So, what inane, pointless, ridiculous, thought-provoking, strange, insipid, radical, awesome, false, crazy, powerful, phoney, superfluous, brain-rattling thing will I post now?

This:








Death Dealer has come.  Three more pages until this thread goes to 100 pages.  The longest in Mythic Scribes history.  It will officially be moved to Chit Chat, where it will go into retirement, and enjoy a nice time in Florida by the beach.

Or you guys will keep posting and keep it alive forever, until the end of time, ceaselessly spinning in the nether reaches of the universe.  

Either way.


----------



## Sparkie

Death Dealer be Damned.  This thread shall live forever!  MWAHAHAHAHA!


----------



## FatCat




----------



## Nihal

Sparkie said:


> Starting???



I have some natural tolerance to creepy stuff.


----------



## PlotHolio

A good video, FatCat. I'd link Still (With Puppies) but that would totally violate the no swearing rule. So I'll link this instead.

[video=youtube_share;oZzgAjjuqZM]http://youtu.be/oZzgAjjuqZM[/video]

Hopefully this doesn't offend anyone from Cleveland.

Also, I have it on good authority (people from Cleveland) that what they say about East Cleveland in this video is true.

And to people not from the USA, Cleveland is famous for being the first city in the country to go bankrupt. They based their entire economy on LeBron James (a basketball player), and then he left them to go to the Miami team.


----------



## WyrdMystic

You know, the pressure is on for whoever gets 1,000 to say something truly epic......though it will probably be nothing more than.....

1,000

/10char


----------



## Nihal

WyrdMystic said:


> You know, the pressure is on for whoever gets 1,000 to say something truly epic......though it will probably be nothing more than.....
> 
> 1,000
> 
> /10char



I'm pretty sure of this.

Anyway, I'm bored. Entertain me, little mortals!


----------



## Philip Overby

Oh, believe me, if I'm around before the 1,000th post, I'm totally going to ruin it.


----------



## Phietadix

With this fourm chances are whoever thinks they will have the 1000th post will be ninja'd


----------



## Nihal

Unless you get your post ready now for when the moment comes.


----------



## FatCat

I would respect the mod that locks this thread at post #999, fingers crossed.


----------



## Phietadix

I see you have a new avatar.


----------



## Nihal

It doesn't look fat.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

1,000th post:



> Hi, I'm AwesomeWriter2000. You make some great points, Phill the Drill, which I talk about on my blog. Visit me at bloopbloggyblog.org
> 
> Later dudes! lol


----------



## FatCat

Brand spankin' new, and the cat is fat, but also a great photoshopper.


----------



## Devor

FatCat said:


> I would respect the mod that locks this thread at post #999, fingers crossed.



It wouldn't matter, one of the other Mods would still make the post.


----------



## FatCat

Then this thread is truly immortal...


----------



## Devor

FatCat said:


> Then this thread is truly immortal...



Eventually the thread should break.  It might even be 999.


----------



## Phietadix

Well, think we can get this to a thousand in one hour?
Only 20 more posts.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

We can… but who will post the 999th while the vultures are circling?


----------



## Phietadix

No one, (At least no one who follows the rules AND wants to win.))
17 more.


----------



## Ireth

16 more (unless I get ninja'd!)


----------



## Phietadix

15 more. ((Congratulations Ireth! You weren't ninja'd))


----------



## Nihal

I'm sleepy. Be fast. Ã².o


----------



## Devor

13.

/10characters


----------



## Phietadix

12 more posts


----------



## FatCat




----------



## Phietadix

10 more posts.


----------



## FatCat




----------



## Nihal

Oooooh, will we get to see the dawn of a new day, a day when the Kill this Thread is no more because someone will lock it? A day when it will get moved to another section? Or will it finally die because people lost the interest after the 1000th post?


----------



## Sparkie

Here it comes!  The end of the cosmos as we know them!


----------



## Phietadix

What will happen? We'll have to wait and see.


----------



## FatCat

This was foretold in the prophecies...the day this thread reaches 1,000 posts the world will...well it won't really do anything really. Pretty boring prophecy.


----------



## Ireth

Who made the prophecy, I wonder?


----------



## Phietadix

And the real question is. Who's posting nuber 999


----------



## FatCat

Ireth said:


> Who made the prophecy, I wonder?



The 1,000th Poster.


----------



## Nihal

What if it's a doublepost?


----------



## Philip Overby

Me.  Hahaha!  EDIT:  OK, now moving thread to Chit Chat where you all can all relish in my masterful work.


----------



## Nihal

It's breathing! It's alive! *pokes*


----------



## Philip Overby

Yeah, now let's see who can get the 2,000th post!

That was a joke...


----------



## Phietadix

Too late! Let the mindless posts begin! Next goal 10,000.


----------



## PlotHolio

10/10 would switch to a Dark Sorcery major if my college offered one.


----------



## Nihal

PlotHolio said:


> 10/10 would switch to a Dark Sorcery major if my college offered one.



Wait, are you younger than me? Hah!


----------



## Philip Overby

So looks like another creation of mine, the Word Association Game, is rapidly approaching becoming the new Master of Threads here at Mythic Scribes in record time.  So in honor of that I say:

Fart


----------



## Nihal

Get away from the Word Association topic! D<


----------



## WarriorPrincess

I had to be a part of Mythic Scribe history so here is my post to put you closer to 2000....


----------



## Phietadix

Only 991 more posts to go!


----------



## Steerpike

If I'd left the two Dragon's Egg acts as a single thread, we're be pushing close to 1300!


----------



## Phietadix

It's proabably better how you have it. Imagine having to go through 130 pages to find something specific.


----------



## Philip Overby

Yeah, that would be incredibly annoying.  If I miss a day on the RPG I basically have to go through and read like five pages worth of stuff.  So having to search through reams and reams of RPG stuff would suck.  

Good thing this thread doesn't have anything to search for.


----------



## Nihal

It's nearly as bad as having to go through *any number higher than 10* pages. Luckily the forum has a "Search Topic" tool.


----------



## Steerpike

Yeah, I'm definitely going to keep splitting up the RPG into Acts. If the off-topic chats in the main thread get any more lengthy, I'm going to ask that people post those where they belong as well. It doesn't help when you're trying to keep up on the story and people are talking about game mechanics or off-topic points in the main thread. Better to keep that stuff in one of the other threads


----------



## Philip Overby

There have been times where I'm looking for a specific thing someone said that involves a specific word and I can't remember which thread it's in.  So I find it helpful to just type that word and sometimes I can find it.

Plus if I combined the Word Association Thread and Kill this Thread, it would be over 1,800 comments.  Comments of nonsense, but comments nonetheless.  Throw me a bone here.


----------



## Steerpike

Phil the Drill said:


> Plus if I combined the Word Association Thread and Kill this Thread, it would be over 1,800 comments.  Comments of nonsense, but comments nonetheless.  Throw me a bone here.



Heh. Awesome. Which one will reach 2000 first?


----------



## Philip Overby

Probably whichever one's more useless.


----------



## Nihal

I'm glad that often I remember the specific wording - or the characters involved -, so, having it in acts usually makes it easy to locate what I want to check.

But I feel that soon I may need to keep some notes, because, well, I'm not really good with names.


----------



## PlotHolio

To answer your earlier question, Nihal, you probably are. I'm 23 years old.


----------



## Nihal

PlotHolio said:


> To answer your earlier question, Nihal, you probably are. I'm 23 years old.



I'm not older. Well, almost. Ã´.o
So, I guess my college degree duration (dunno how to phrase it) was too short (I ran away anyway xD), and I started it as early as possible.


----------



## PlotHolio

How old are you, if you don't mind my asking?

And because I can't go two posts without a picture, here's a masterpiece painstakingly painted by my friends and I.


----------



## Nihal

23.

And hah, I can see how you and your friends are so busy studying, uh... =P


----------



## PlotHolio

I know. We really put our high IQs to work! Today we talked about hypothetical situations involving genies and poop.

Here, I'll run these by you guys and see what you say. Assume there are no loopholes.

-A genie offers you the chance to have no negative consequences to your actions for the next fifty years. However, the catch is that your taste buds are moved to your anus for the duration. Would you still take him up on this offer?

Pros: You could become the best assassin in the world. You could walk into a bank, walk out with all the money, and buy the moon. You could sleep with Lindsay Lohan.
Cons: Your taste buds are in your anus, and if that doesn't bother you, you need to stop and think about what happens when you eat bad Thai food. You could sleep with Lindsay Lohan.

Peter (me): No, no, and no.
Jeff: No. Wait. Okay, no.
Paul: Yes. I would get used to the taste after a while.
Caroline: Yes. Wait... EWWW! **** you, Peter!
Harry: Yes. I would get used to the taste after a while.

-A genie offers you three wishes. However, the catch is that you will experience bloody, painful diarrhea every day, several times a day, for the rest of your life. Would you still take him up on this offer.

Pros: Your wishes can be anything.
Cons: Once again, think about bad Thai food and multiply that by 11.

Peter: Yes. I can deal with the pain.
Paul: Yes. I can leave bloody and disgusting Paul-Dragon-God poop on the Apple Store in New York. I hate that place.
Harry: Yes, although my first wish would be that my underpants are magical and teleport the poop out of my pants to Hoboken, New Jersey.
Caroline: Peter, even though evil poop genies are not even close to the worst thing you've come up with, I'm not going to answer you.
Jeff: I don't even know what I'd wish for if I found a _normal_ genie...

Let's see what my fellow Scribblers shall choose!


----------



## Phietadix

A question for all you at the forums. Does the forum attract insane people or does this forum make people insane. Based on myself and the above post I'm inclined to believe the former. What do you think?


----------



## Ireth

I think it's the former, myself. I was crazy long before I discovered this place. Though I can't say it's helped in that respect. XDD


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

First wish: My anal taste buds have to power to taste what the food tasted like before it was digested.

Second wish: Readers will appreciate the irony that the above is the most tasteless sentence I ever typed in my life, and also the most taste_ful_ in the sense that it has the most instances of the word "taste" of any sentence I have ever written.


----------



## Philip Overby

Hmm...difficult question.  Coming from someone who has had digestive problems, I would probably just tell the genie to shove off.  However, if I can get some kind of surgery to fix my intestines with all the money I've made, then I could deal with it.  Unless it's some kind of magical bad Thai food reaction, in that case, no, I don't want three wishes.  

"Once your butt stops working, so does your soul."  Abraham Lincoln


----------



## Phietadix

Caged Maiden said:


> It's almost too much fun to kill at this point.  I say we keep it open forever just to have a thread full of complete uselessness we can say whatever we want on.



Who knew that Caged Maiden was a prophet?


----------



## PlotHolio

Sidekick, you're confusing scenarios.

And I said to assume that are no loopholes. That includes surgery or wishes.

Phietadix... you ask me if I was crazy before I came here?
[video=youtube_share;jJusfNv0DO0]http://youtu.be/jJusfNv0DO0[/video]


----------



## Phietadix

. . . I proabably should be gald I can't see that video.


----------



## FatCat

I once a deputy when, but I never charged with anything but a! Makes me, does anything really when times are?


----------



## Nihal

LoL is a whole separated issue. Believe me, this game on it's own makes people go crazy.

And I think I was already crazy before discovering MS. If I changed I only got even crazier.


----------



## PlotHolio

Nihal, you and I joined at about the same time, and I'm definitely crazier. I think.


----------



## Phietadix

Yes, you are by far the craziest person on this forurm


----------



## Nihal

I hope it's not contagious.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

PlotHolio said:


> Sidekick, you're confusing scenarios.



But, but... I left the taste buds where they were. I wished to change the taste of human waste. It's not my fault your genie didn't get a lawyer to write his big catch.

And regardless of the taste, my third wish is to feed human waste to the second genie. He can eat it after Phil tells him to shove off, which I wish Phil would do while pile-driving the genie out of the ring.


----------



## NeuroticNessie

*wonders if craziness is spread by a virus or by another contagious mechanism*


----------



## Phietadix

NeuroticNessie said:


> *wonders if craziness is spread by a virus or by another contagious mechanism*



Don't worry. If you're at this forum it means you've caught it long ago. You can't catch it twice. ((Partially because it is an incurable disease. Like double parenthesis, caught by playing the 'Dragon Egg Campaign.'))


----------



## Philip Overby

When you guys think of genies do you think like this:






Or this?







I always thought in stories if you ever met a djinn, you'd just be dead.  But, meh, maybe they sing songs to you?


----------



## NeuroticNessie

*boing boing boing boing*

The most wonderful thing about Tigger is I'm the only one. :6:


----------



## PlotHolio

Phietadix said:


> Yes, you are by far the craziest person on this forurm



Thank you, kind sir. Would you like another video?
[video=youtube_share;hRTjtpkLGoA]http://youtu.be/hRTjtpkLGoA[/video]

Also, today at work, my co-worker came up to me and said this:
"You know, I thought we might get out early tonight... but everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked."


----------



## Phietadix

I wonder if Sparkie even realizes that he stole my profile picture.

(Though I sort of stole it from Fat Cat too)


----------



## Nihal

I'm confused.


----------



## PlotHolio

Nihal said:


> I'm confused.


----------



## Sparkie

Phietadix said:


> I wonder if Sparkie even realizes that he stole my profile picture.
> 
> (Though I sort of stole it from Fat Cat too)



I used it before you did.


----------



## Phietadix

But it's also my avatar.


----------



## Sparkie

Phietadix said:


> But it's also my avatar.



Okay, if you're so possessive you can have it all to yourself.  Just don't threaten to kill me (again.)


----------



## Phietadix

Sparkie said:


> Okay, if you're so possessive you can have it all to yourself.  Just don't threaten to kill me (again.)



That would require me threatening to kill you a first time. Which I don't seem to recall doing.

You can keep the profile picture if you want. I really don't care. It was just something to write in this insane thread.


----------



## Nihal

*grabs popcorn*

Will there be blood?


----------



## PlotHolio

If there isn't, I'll be standing by with an army of mercenaries to finish off the survivor, who will kill over half my mercenaries by himself before falling when I shoot him with my super-powerful revolver.


----------



## Phietadix

Nihal said:


> *grabs popcorn*
> 
> Will there be blood?



-Sparkie changed his profile picture.
-I stated that I didn't care about it at all.
-Sparkie actually kept the new picture even after he learned I don't care.
And you ask 'Will there be blood?'. Why?

((Of course post misinterpretation is as common as breathing on this forum, especially when I'm involved. So you easily could have misunderstood my statemnet))


----------



## Philip Overby

A movie about oil.


----------



## Nihal

Phietadix said:


> -Sparkie changed his profile picture.
> -I stated that I didn't care about it at all.
> -Sparkie actually kept the new picture even after he learned I don't care.
> And you ask 'Will there be blood?'. Why?
> 
> ((Of course post misinterpretation is as common as breathing on this forum, especially when I'm involved. So you easily could have misunderstood my statemnet))



You misunderstood my joke. D:




Phil the Drill said:


> A movie about oil.



IMDB blocks image hotlinking by checking if the user visited the respective page. So, you see it, we don't.


----------



## T.Allen.Smith

I see it...


----------



## Nihal

I can only see it after using a "clean referral". It gives 403 when the referral is MS.

Did you visit the IMDB prior to this topic or is using any kind of proxy/forum runner?


----------



## PlotHolio




----------



## Nihal

One of the coolest things I've seen lately:






It's mesmerizing. o.o


----------



## Sparkie

A pool filled with non-newtonian fluid - YouTube


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Phietadix said:


> And you ask 'Will there be blood?'. Why?


I ask will there be blood on Sir Matthew's sword? I mean lizard blood!


----------



## Phietadix

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Sir Matthew's sword?



No such object exists. Perhaps you meant Sir Matthew's _spear_ or Sir Matthew's _Javelin_.


----------



## Nihal

Sparkie said:


> A pool filled with non-newtonian fluid - YouTube



I think that's how insects must feel!



Phietadix said:


> No such object exists. Perhaps you meant Sir Matthew's _spear_ or Sir Matthew's _Javelin_.



Yup, I've mistakenly spoken about his sword once. Now I won't forget!

---
Unrelated: Third annoyance related to my brand-new laptop. I want to kill the manufacturers. KILL! >O


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Yes. Pointy sticks, I meant. It's the avatar's fault. Sir Shadow and his knightly sword pose fooled me more than once.

Twice.


----------



## Phietadix

Word Accoisation Game now has more post than Kill This Thread


----------



## Philip Overby

OH NO!  What will we do????

Nothing.


----------



## Nihal

We can't allow this!


----------



## Philip Overby

Hurry!  Find some kind of crap to post!


----------



## Ireth

oop:

There, will that do?


----------



## PlotHolio




----------



## Philip Overby

Yes!  Now this thread will really die.  Anytime Stephanie Meyer is mentioned it kills and/or derails any thread in history!  Good thing this thread can't be derailed...


----------



## WyrdMystic

Speaking of Stephanie Meyer...I've had a great idea for a book....okay, a bearwolf and a trampire fall in love with the same girl and then Tony Blair tries to steal their baby, but that's okay cos the baby be UGLY!!!

What d'ya think?


----------



## Nihal

I think you would be sued over copyright infringement.


----------



## PlotHolio

Not if he throws in some twists!

Tony Blair and Colin Powell had previously been members of the same assassins guild, and the bearwolf has to team up with the old guild leader, Condoleezza Rice, to kill them both, while the trampire seeks to resolve the situation peacefully with the help of Colin Powell. Unfortunately, it turns out that the man behind the curtain was Prince Charles the whole time, and that Harry and William are white clones of Colin Powell designed to destabilize the British government by taking over their respective branches of the military and seizing Queen Elizabeth. With their coup successful, they attempt to place the mystery child (who is still unidentifiable as bearwolf or trampire no matter how obvious such a thing should be) on the throne as Empress Christine Blowell I of the Neo Britopian Empire (And Wales).

With their long awaited dream of a new empire come true, the villains invade France and force everyone who wants to get anywhere in life to speak with a Cockney accent because they want revenge for being made to speak French for hundreds of years. The heroes, defeated but not discouraged, retreat to fight another day.

The twist in the second book is that Christine becomes a Francophile.


----------



## WyrdMystic

Besides you can't be sued for mockery.....look at Bored of the Rings. Most countires have a specific exclusion for mimicking in their copyright laws, if they didn't spoofs would be too expensive to bother with and everyone would be suing everyone - it's how you do it....not that I'm going to do it anyway, but if I was....I would definitely take on PlotHolio as a Development Creative.


----------



## PlotHolio

Thanks. Now if only someone who was actually making something hired me to the development crew.


----------



## Nihal

I don't get how people who have this thing aren't terrified of it.


----------



## PlotHolio

Nihal, my part-time job is washing dishes at my college's dining hall. We have the industrial strength version. It looks like a propane tank and it's capable of shredding hard plastic cups and some ceramics to pieces.

So just imagine a combination of this:






And this:


----------



## Nihal

If there is something scary, it's a limbs-eating machine! >.<

Did you get something cool for the sacrifices you've done?


----------



## Ophiucha

I've worked and lived with enough kitchens to have learned to love the kraken beneath the sink. Nothing is more inconvenient than having to dispose of a gallon of chicken noodle soup. My husband just pours it down the toilet in parts and flushes; my mum just tosses it in the bin and hopes it doesn't leak; and my dad puts it through the strainer, tries to dump out the bits in the trash, but ends up with so much stuck in or on it that the only way to get it out is with running water, so it half of it ends up back down the sink.

But on the same note, I'd definitely never put my hand down there without calling a plumber first.


----------



## Philip Overby

I like that gag when people pretend to stick their hand in the garbage disposal, but pull it out and nothing is wrong.  That makes me laugh every time.

Not really.


----------



## Phietadix

If  Dragon's Egg Act Two keeps going for much longer, we'll have a third 1,000+ post thread.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

^The original Sir Matthew avatar!

EDIT - But this post is at the top of a page, so my ^ is not pointing to anything!




Phil the Drill said:


> I like that gag when people pretend to stick their hand in the garbage disposal, but pull it out and nothing is wrong. That makes me laugh every time.
> 
> Not really.



That reminds me: I watched _Of Mice and Men _today. John Malkovich saying "Got his hand caught in a machine" makes me laugh every time.


----------



## PlotHolio

Nihal said:


> If there is something scary, it's a limbs-eating machine! >.<
> 
> Did you get something cool for the sacrifices you've done?



$8.75 per hour.

Nihal, there's a saying where I'm from that goes like this: "The world needs ditch-diggers, too."

My automatic response to that saying has become "Yeah, but now you need a Ph.D in Geology to become a ditch-digger."


----------



## Philip Overby

I had a B.A. when I was a ditch digger.  Yes, I was an actual ditch digger.  I also worked at a chicken factory.  Now when I think about my current job if I have a bad day I say, "At least my hands aren't covered in blisters and/or chicken guts."


----------



## PlotHolio

That's a good outlook. Unfortunately, jobs in Slushland are few and far between, so when I have a bad day I say "At least I'm not covered in meat gunk and disintegrated napkin bits. Oh wait, I am."


----------



## Nihal

All hail the Internet, that made it possible to work without living where the jobs are!


----------



## Philip Overby

Do you work a job where you don't have to go to where you work?  (does that make sense?)

I would love to do a "stay at home and make $8,423 a week" type job, but yeah, they don't exist.


----------



## Jess A

I never thought to post here before.


----------



## Philip Overby

It's a free for all, so be warned.  

Also, I think I killed the Word Association thread now.  My answer was:

Webster

Emmanuel Lewis.

Don't tell me people don't know who Emmanuel Lewis is?  Geez...


----------



## Nihal

I do. Sometimes I worked with companies based around here and had to go to them to do the work, but it pissed me off. Their hardware was awful, freezing all the time, and I lost hours in traffic jams.

But I don't do $8,423 a week. Since I'm a freelancer, the trick is to control your expenses and save money for the "low tide" times. And working from home isn't always peaceful - yet, at least - , people assume you're available to them _all the time_.

---------
Welcome to another dimension, Jess!


----------



## Philip Overby

I've found some websites that offer freelance editing and proofreading jobs, and I've thought about doing some to earn extra money and pad my resume in case I leave teaching at any point and want to get exclusively into publishing or a related field.  I still might do that!


----------



## PlotHolio

I would love a job like that, except my time in Internet land has made me too cynical to accept opportunities like that unless I am 100% sure that they are legitimate.

Mainly, I don't want the police showing up at my door saying "Oh, hey, Mr. Holio? Listen, I'm here to talk to you about that money laundering scheme you've been participating in."

But you know, most of my time on the Internet is spent looking up things like this:
[video=youtube_share;zuDtACzKGRs]http://youtu.be/zuDtACzKGRs[/video]


----------



## Nihal

It's really good to work from home and skip all the hassle to get to work, but it's not so easy. It's a good thing you already have contacts related to your intended work, otherwise you would need to build your network from scratch and depending upon what you intend to do, build audience, etc. Social networks, site, promotion. Must be similar to promotion a self published book.

Yea, scams happen, but it also depends on what you want to do. E.g. It's "easier" to someone to try to not pay me for an illustration (this is why I always ask some % upfront and never handle the finished artwork until fully paid) than when I'm livestreaming a class. This because usually my students are professionals of my field, brazilians. The market is small and they would be professionally burned if they tried to fool me.

Now, a random stranger could perfectly try to walk away with my illustration without paying.


----------



## Devora

*A poem i wrote (Non-Fantasy)*

*The Symphonic Poem*


Words that I cannot write down
                    For I know not the feeling.
A blank page
		     Just like the day before.

The Poetry of words
Escapes me!

I can’t find the words–those words!
      Words that I long to piece together
	In fine woven art! The words
That fit best for all time…

But I know not the words–
         Those words even blind men know.

I long to write 
          That symphonic poem.


----------



## A. E. Lowan

I wrote a couple poems about writing poetry a while back...

_Old Poet_

The last person here who wrote
poetry
wrote things that were
angry
wrote things that
bled
wrote things best left
unsaid

that person
packed away the anger
stuffed the angst
into its travel case
took the poetry
on the road
left it at a truck stop
with adolescence
and cold McDonald’s fries


_Poet's Road_

Is it a road less traveled
or the road of our own
devising?
Once upon a time
ten years ago
two years ago
yesterday
we came upon this road
kicked the detritus
from the cobbles
nervous foals
startled by blowing leaves
we stepped onto the road
mincing
apologetic to the pavement
walked
with burgeoning confidence
strode forward
masterful
on this road we laid
in concrete words
and stone metaphors


----------



## PlotHolio

I've got to post something silly before this becomes the dedicated poetry thread.

[video=youtube_share;6EfhAFA2yFE]http://youtu.be/6EfhAFA2yFE[/video]


----------



## advait98

Well, PlotHolio, how about silly poetry?

Pen License

I got a pen license at school,
my bros all think it is cool,
I can stick it in my sheep's wool,
God, my pen license is cool,
you can use it as a tool,
it won't leak in a pool,
don't take me for a fool,
you can ride it on a mule,
and you ain't breaking no rule,
that's right, my pen license is cool.

Something I wrote in fourth grade, I still laugh in my memories!


----------



## Devora

PlotHolio said:


> I've got to post something silly before this becomes the dedicated poetry thread.
> 
> [video=youtube_share;6EfhAFA2yFE]http://youtu.be/6EfhAFA2yFE[/video]



Bow to the Epicness that is Power Metal!!


----------



## PlotHolio

http://youtu.be/kdGyUvCksD8
WARNING: Some swearing.

I can't even embed the video because there's a "swear" in the title...


----------



## Nihal

Don't die on me, thread! *shakes it*
Please! T_T


----------



## Phietadix

This thread has died many times before. But keeps reufusing to stay dead.


----------



## Nihal

Yes, it's alive again!

On a sidenote, I don't have anything against it becoming the dedicated poetry thread.


----------



## PlotHolio

But then where will we troll, Dark Mistress?


----------



## Nihal

We can still troll here. This thread is a gentle thread which accepts all kinds of content.


----------



## PlotHolio

I see it as a harsh thread where our bone-warriors devour the flesh of our enemies.


----------



## Jess A

I'm honestly too tired to think of a response - except to complain that I have no response.


----------



## PlotHolio

Raghraghraghraghraghraghraghraghragh...


----------



## CupofJoe

I see your "Raghraghraghraghraghraghraghraghragh..."
and raise you an "Ugggh...."


----------



## Nihal

PlotHolio said:


> I see it as a harsh thread where our bone-warriors devour the flesh of our enemies.



You're making me hungry.



Jess A said:


> I'm honestly too tired to think of a response - except to complain that I have no response.



*pat pat*


----------



## FatCat

This thread deserves a .22 to the back of the head and a shallow grave in a cornfield.


----------



## Nihal




----------



## Phietadix

It's useless Poll time!

Do prefer this 'stop' picture


Nihal said:


>



or This one?


Phil the Drill said:


>



Five free rep points for participating


----------



## Ireth

Grumpy Cat gets my vote.


----------



## Nihal

Cat, of course! They're going to rule the world.


----------



## PlotHolio

Grumpy Cat!


----------



## FatCat




----------



## Nihal

Is that why you're a *Fat* Cat?


----------



## PlotHolio

FatCat said:


>


----------



## FatCat

PlotHolio said:


>


----------



## Nihal

B*tch please, it's a meme war.


----------



## PlotHolio




----------



## Phietadix

PlotHolio said:


>



That photo has been posted before. Subtract 5,000 points from your score.


----------



## PlotHolio




----------



## Nihal

Hipster enough?


----------



## PlotHolio




----------



## Jess A

Mythic Scribes should brew its own beer.







Not bad, pretty watery though. Like American beer.


----------



## CupofJoe

Jess A said:


> Mythic Scribes should brew its own beer.


Mythic Scribes Porter
Rich dark sophisticated body with a light creamy head.
Overtones of chocolate and honey with a hint of orange but no notes of hops...


----------



## PlotHolio

There are _some_ good American beers.


----------



## Nihal

*shrugs* I don't drink anyway.


----------



## PlotHolio

Slushland is a bastion for craft brewers. There are actually two in my town alone!


----------



## Phietadix

A quick check seems to imply that slushland does not exist.  So how can it have brewers?


----------



## Reaver

Everything that isn't real exists somewhere.


----------



## Devor

Everything that is real exists only to us.


----------



## Reaver

Everything that isn't unreal exists in a state of realness to those who aren't really real to us who may or may not be real or unreal to them in some form of existence or not.


----------



## Phietadix

Has anybody noticed that whatever rules Phil puts on his threads are ignored? For example, 'Word Assocaition Game' says 


Phil the Drill said:


> *Please limit your response to one word.*


Many, including myself, have broken this rule many times


----------



## PlotHolio

Perhaps this is a sign that Phil should never be Hedgemon of the Earth.


----------



## Devor

Phietadix said:


> Many, including myself, have broken this rule many times



Look up "open compound words."


----------



## PlotHolio

Devor said:


> Look up "open compound words."



No.

/10char


----------



## Reaver

Hit ENTER then SHIFT, F2, ALT, CTRL, F7


----------



## Philip Overby

Yes, I realize people like ignoring my rules.  But as long as they're participating, I don't really care.  This thread is a perfect example of that.  It should have died like a year ago technically (Reaver was the first one to kill it) but then it just kept going on.

I have no desire to be "anything" of the Earth, so that's good a sign.

So, break my rules.  I love it!


----------



## Ireth

Phil the Drill said:


> So, break my rules.  I love it!



Is that a new rule now? In that case...


----------



## Philip Overby

Great, that's what I really want anyway.  My reverse psychology worked.


----------



## Nihilium 7th

When was this thread re-opened?


----------



## Phietadix

Which re-opening are you refferring to?


----------



## Sparkie

Phietadix said:


> Which re-opening are you refferring to?



:wavespin:  The Grand Re-Opening!!!  :wavespin:​


----------



## CupofJoe

Sparkie said:


> :wavespin:  The Grand Re-Opening!!!  :wavespin:​



That happened just after the "EVERYTHING MUST GO SALE"...


----------



## Anders Ã„mting

I am the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say.


----------



## Nihal

Then dance for us!


----------



## Anders Ã„mting

Nihal said:


> Then dance for us!








Imma panther, baby!


----------



## Nihal

Anders Ã„mting said:


> Imma panther, baby!


----------



## Rhizanthella

Mmm... Piano recital tonight, then back to play rehersal for the last hour of it, the back home to do my math homework(write my book instead), then gotta practice my vocal recital songs(write my book instead), then off to bed(write my book all night).


----------



## Nihal

Wake up, thread! Wake up wake up wake up!


----------



## Phietadix

A thread who has been dying a long, slow death. Almost dead completely. So it's time for useless Dragon's Egg 2 Polls!

Poll #1:
If you were to make another character in Ravana's setting. What would it be?

Poll #2:
Do you think it's good or bad that Ravana knows how things actually work?

Note: this assumes you are part of Dragon's Egg 2. This might not be the place for these useless polls.


----------



## PlotHolio

Did I miss the start of Ravana's game because of crappy Internet?

Drat.


----------



## Nihal

Did you want to play too? D:


----------



## Anders Ã„mting

When they finally come to destroy the Earth they'll have to go through you first.

I bet they won't be expecting that.


----------



## Jess A

Haha that bird makes me laugh every time I click on the thread! 







A mate sent that to me.


----------



## Nihal

Hey cats, you're letting this thread die, and–is that a balloon?!


----------



## Jess A

Nihal said:


> Hey cats, you're letting this thread die, and—is that a balloon?!



Haha it was dead over 24 hours...that makes me the winner! Of this batch, anyway.


----------



## Nihal

Jess A said:


> Of this batch, anyway.



Welcome to the club? =P


----------



## Jess A

Nihal said:


> Welcome to the club? =P



We should demand our prizes!!!


----------



## Philip Overby

Here's your prize.


----------



## Jess A

A blank page! That's an awesome prize!


----------



## advait98

We really need a sarcasm sign around here. I'm not sure whether you actually think that's an awesome prize.


----------



## Nihal

For a writer it might be!


----------



## druidofwinter

Can this thread be given CPR?


----------



## Sparkie

Sure, but there's no way in HELL I'm giving it mouth-to-mouth!


----------



## Philip Overby

Just when I think it's dead, it does something else.


----------



## Sparkie

Phil the Drill said:


> Just when I think it's dead, it does something else.



What?  Does a different appendage twitch or something?


----------



## Nihal

OMG, stop everyone! It's alive!


----------



## druidofwinter

"But this thread was destroyed...it was destroyed!"
"No, Frodo. the spirit of this thread endured. it's life force is bound up in the forum's and the forum's survived."


----------



## druidofwinter

:furious::skip::confused2::rolleyes2:
                                                           Just to keep it alive.


----------



## Phietadix

You broke the Rule! You can't post twice in a row, you now give up any chance of winning 'Kill this Thread'
Not that it'll ever be 'won' anyway.


----------



## druidofwinter

Phietadix said:


> You broke the Rule! You can't post twice in a row, you now give up any chance of winning 'Kill this Thread'
> Not that it'll ever be 'won' anyway.



Oh my! Sorry, i didn't see that you were not allowed to post twice. But, as you said, i doubt it will ever really be won.


----------



## Nihal

I didn't know they could actually talk. I started to research on this and check another videos too... I'm shocked!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

druidofwinter said:


> Oh my! Sorry, i didn't see that you were not allowed to post twice. But, as you said, i doubt it will ever really be won.


This post won.


----------



## Sparkie

Nihal said:


> I didn't know they could actually talk. I started to research on this and check another videos too... I'm shocked!



I heard about this.  Doesn't a raven's tongue need to be cut out or something?


----------



## Nihal

Nooo, that's not true! Each flock of ravens (I refuse to call it "unkindness"! o.o) have their own call, they learn to mimic it from each other and that's how they fit in the group. Ravens that have too much contact with humans or were raised by them learn to mimic voices and human-created sounds instead.


----------



## Ireth

Isn't it a death of ravens, like a murder of crows?


----------



## Nihal

According to Wikipedia, it's an "unkindness" of ravens. Wtf. Death of ravens sounds better!


----------



## Ireth

Yes it does. ^^


----------



## Sparkie

Death of Ravens
Murder of Crows
Massacre of Rooks
Annihilation of Geese
Cessation of Finches
Demise of Hawks
Destruction of Robins
Holocaust of Doves
Extermination of Owls
Obliteration of Condors
Termination of Falcons

And lest we forget this:

Monty Python Dead Parrot Sketch - YouTube


----------



## druidofwinter

Ah, thank you sparkle. What an edifying post.
Hmm... A furnace of phoenix?


----------



## Nihal

I agree, it was an an edifying post! Speaking of death...







I think some zombie-apocalypse heroes are going to be sued over years of mistreatment of poor zombies!


----------



## druidofwinter

Was that legit?:bounce:


----------



## HabeasCorpus

2 Legit to Quit - Hay Hay!


----------



## Reaver

The previous statement is the very definition of THE REAVER.


----------



## Addison

Oh my god that was funny-ridiculous. 

Gotta admit, zombie popularity has gone way up lately.


----------



## druidofwinter

Hmm.. it seems to have died again. :wavespin:


----------



## Addison

I just spent the day going through every note book, composition book, spiral binder and Word folder. After sorting and deleting I counted how many WiP's I have. 

I will either have to live a long life, hire ghostwriters, or they'll find me wrinkled and dead with arthritic hands still stuck on the keyboard. 

In short, I have too many WiP's!


----------



## druidofwinter

10:06!
10 characters...


----------



## FatCat

This thread is now dead. Here is a video to help you with your mourning.


----------



## ArthurWalterson

Oh my. Robot chicken. I remember the days of watching that at the library and stifling my laughter (but of course failing).


----------



## Addison

............That was, without a doubt, the weirdest, craziest thing I've ever seen. That includes when my brother tortured me with watching "Dude Where's My Car?"


----------



## Addison

"Charging to 300! Clear! _BzzzzzTT!!_ Come back!"

Let's keep the thread alive.


----------



## Philip Overby

The people that used to post on this thread went away or something.


----------



## Nihal

Phil the Drill said:


> The people that used to post on this thread went away or something.



Maybe they did, maybe they didn't.


----------



## Addison

Maybe forums aren't restricted to certain posters. Hmmm

Post-post-post-post-post-post-post----Posting! (I'm just feeling obnoxious today.   )


----------



## Sparkie

Phil the Drill said:


> The people that used to post on this thread went away or something.



It has been awhile since I've seen Reaver.  I miss him.

Anyway, this thread cannot be killed...

*It was Murdered!*


----------



## Addison

.....Then how are we still posting? 

Oh no, it's a twilight thread! That or we're posting in the afterlife.


----------



## Sparkie

Addison said:


> .....Then how are we still posting?
> 
> Oh no, it's a twilight thread! That or we're posting in the afterlife.



No, no, no!  See, it's a whodunit.  We have to find the killer(s), or another thread's life could be taken...


----------



## Draco99

I post on this thread... Puzzled


----------



## Ddruid

Draco99 said:


> I post on this thread... Puzzled



I reply to your post... eh?


----------



## Addison

....Bored....b-bl-b-bl-b-bl-b-bl-b-bl-b-bl....still bored. I'm going back to sleep.


----------



## Draco99

And I make another post... Is this some sort of SPAM thread?


----------



## ArthurWalterson

Question: Does anyone on here know what Bionicle is?
And if not, you need to look it up. It has an insanely complex plot.


----------



## Draco99

I know what bionicle is... Isn't it that thing with the metallic figures and stuff?


----------



## Nihal

Spam would be the use of unsolicited bulk messages, mostly advertisements. This is the meaningless messages thread.


----------



## ArthurWalterson

Were you referring to my post? Because it wasn't. I was just curious if anyone here knew about it.


----------



## Nihal

Nope. Roll the thread up:



Draco99 said:


> And I make another post... Is this some sort of SPAM thread?


----------



## Draco99

Okay... Now I get the point of this thread...


----------



## Sparkie

Draco99 said:


> Okay... Now I get the point of this thread...



The point of this thread is that there is no point.

Point?  Point?  Who's got the point?


----------



## Ireth

POINT!


----------



## Draco99

Sooo.... The point of this thread is there is no point?


----------



## ArthurWalterson

Pretty much.

Actually, yes.


----------



## Draco99

Lol... Then lalalalallaalalalala~


----------



## Addison

Found a funny quote from Robin Williams: "Divorce is the art of ripping a man's genitals out through his wallet."  I'm not a guy but for their sake I am going to be very careful to marry a guy who I won't divorce. And I've been a child in a divorce so I don't want my kids to through that.


----------



## Nihal

You never know when being good at soccer will be useful...







Explanation to who missed what happened there: Some huge protests are happening in Brazil lately. A police officer threw tear gas at some manifestants and one guy just kicked it back, heh.


----------



## Reaver

:wavespin:*GOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!*:wavespin:


----------



## Draco99

Straaaaaaaange


----------



## advait98

Draco99 said:


> Straaaaaaaange



Welcome to Mythic Scribes.


----------



## Nihal

Awww, the gif is gone. D:


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

First you killed the thread, and now you killed the gif. I hope you're happy.


----------



## Draco99

Lol killing proves nuttin'


----------



## Nihal

I beg to differ.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Me too. I think that's my first kill on this thread. Dead from the 25th throughout the remainder of the month.
*
JUNE KILL!*

(^best read in voice of that guy from Killer Instinct)


----------



## Ireth

Happy Canada Day, eh!


----------



## Nihal

Eh! (Would this be some sort of regional greeting? >D)

LS, I can't believe you're married with children but you've never killed this thread before!


----------



## Ireth

Nihal said:


> Eh! (Would this be some sort of regional greeting? >D)



More like a national stereotype. XDD


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Ireth said:


> Happy Canada Day, eh!


My daughter told me that. It's on her calendar.

And Happy Handover Day, too. On July 1st, 1997, the British handed Hong Kong back over to China. If Margaret Thatcher hadn't fallen down the stairs, perhaps negotiations would have favored the British. But then, the harbors between Hong Kong Island and the Kowloon Peninsula wouldn't have had all those fireworks today.




Nihal said:


> LS, I can't believe you're married with children but you've never killed this thread before!


I was too busy getting married and having children, so I forgot to kill threads. There are only so many hours in a day.

Usually 24… but there was that 42 hour day when I flew from Hong Kong to Hawaii.


----------



## Nihal

Hey, but you could have skipped one Word Association and post here. All you need to do is post something and wait for the thread's death.


----------



## Sia

Why 10 characters?


----------



## Nihal

It's to prevent spam, I believe.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Nihal said:


> Hey, but you could have skipped one Word Association and post here. All you need to do is post something and wait for the thread's death.


You make it look so easy.

(Above post = what? Your somethingteenth kill?)


----------



## Ireth

Legendary Sidekick said:


> You make it look so easy.
> 
> (Above post = what? You're somethingteenth kill?)



*your

(10char)


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I just got mod access to chat today, so I fixed my embarrassing typo.

Man, I've been doing the your/you're thing way too much lately!


----------



## Nihal

Tsc tsc, LS, what a shame...! Sometimes I may write like someone who just smacked the head on the wall, but I have yet to mix "your" and "you're".


...
....
.....see? Can you feel that urge to kill? Just direct it to a thread and it's done. It's *really* easy.


----------



## Spider

I like cookies.

Hey look, I'm a lore master now


----------



## Trick

If I kill this thread I'll have accomplished one thing today....


----------



## Devor

Trick said:


> If I kill this thread I'll have accomplished one thing today....



You should've gone to the gym instead, then.


----------



## Nihal

Ouch, trolled by a _moderator_!

(If he didn't save the topic, I would. :x)


----------



## Reaver

For some unknown reason, my browser keeps making duplicate posts. Or am I just seeing double?


----------



## Nihal

Well, the above post isn't duplicated. I think you should cut the beverages...


----------



## Gecks

> 5. Your grandma's apple pie recipe



Ingredients:
1 Apple Pie
Oven
Baking dish in which the apple pie will fit
Guests


Method:
*Go to store and purchase apple pie. Try to buy one that looks as home-made as possible. 
*Return home and heat oven to some random temperature that will warm the pie but hopefully not cook it too much further
*Place pie in baking dish
*Discard all packaging
*Get a mixing bowl and other baking equipment, run water over it, and place it by the sink as though you've just washed up
*About 5 minutes before guests arrive, place pie in oven
*Greet guests. "Oh! You're just in time! The apple pie is almost ready!"


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Reaver said:


> For some unknown reason, my browser keeps making duplicate posts. Or am I just seeing double?


It's contagious! When I look at your avatar, I see TWO Captain Americas!


----------



## Addison

Steve Rogers Captain? Or Bucky Captain?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I… I don't know. Maybe both?


----------



## Addison

Adult dragons are incredible and powerful. Baby dragons are playful and adorable.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Babies who blow out their 1st birthday candles are adorable, and my 'baby dragon' (born the Year of the Dragon) just had her first day of 'candle training.' She blew out the candle today—on her first day! She made a sound like, "Aaah, PAHH!" and the fire went out.

(Her sisters took ten days to blow out the candle. They are NOT dragons.)


----------



## Reaver

*Happy Birthday BABY DRAGON!*

I bet that next year the BABY DRAGON will set fire to the cake when she does that!  XD


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Not until September 8th. I just started teaching her to blow out the candle today.


----------



## Reaver

*Well....you know me.......*

The rules and etiquette regarding birthday well-wishing and other related festivities do not concern THE REAVER.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

*Quote of the Day*

Amelia (age 5) - "A tomato is a fruit!"
Sabina (age 3) - "A tomato is not a fruit. It's a sandwich thing."


----------



## Nihal

Hey, she makes sense!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Quote of the Day

*Sabina:* Dentists are for kids. They're not for peoples.
*Amelia:* Sabina. Can I tell you something? Kids are people, too. What do you think we are? Monsters?


----------



## Ireth

Kids say the darndest things. XD


----------



## Reaver

Those quotes make my day, Sidekick! Please keep 'em coming.


----------



## Addison

It's the same in my house. Every dinner has a kid conversation very much like that. Y' gotta love kids.


----------



## Reaver

Hector Savage. From Detroit.

Hey, I remember this punk. Ex-boxer.

 His real name was Joey Chicago.

- Yeah. He fought as Kid Minneapolis.

I saw him fight once in Cincinnati

No, that's Kid New York, in Philly.

Killed in Houston, by Tex Colorado - The Arizona Assassin.

Yeah! From Dakota!

Was it North or South?

South Dakota was his brother, from West Virginia.

You know your boxing 

All I know is never bet on the white guy.

10 REPUTATION POINTS to whoever can tell me what this dialogue is from.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Leslie Nielsen said the last line. Police Squad? Naked Gun 2 1/2


----------



## Ireth

Funny excerpt from my youngest sister's 5th birthday this past Friday:

Mom: Make a wish and blow out the candle, Paige!
*Paige tries, but the candle doesn't go out*
All of us: Aww, try again!
*second attempt, no better than the first. Finally Paige picks up a napkin and waves it at the candle, putting it out.*
Keilah (second-youngest sister): *laughing* Fair enough!


----------



## Reaver

10 REP POINTS go to the incomparable LEGENDARY SIDEKICK! Thanks for playing!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

For 5 rep points, of 40 if you're lucky and I remember to try the six-sided star button first:

Which singer told Space Ghost he hated is own song?


----------



## Reaver

STING?

10char/


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

STING

^a hint!




S T I _ _

^the same hint displayed in another way!


----------



## Reaver

AWWW MAAANNN!!! I SUCK AT HANGMAN!!!       

STIMP(Y)?   STIRE?  STIT*? STI**?   

 R  S  T  L  N  E    And my two vowels: O & Y


----------



## Svrtnsse

Michael Stipe?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Yup, you got it. And here's the song he hates…




…or my favorite version of it anyway.

EDIT (~47 hours later - because I CAN) - Sesame Street killed the thread! WOO HOO!


----------



## advait98

*shakes head disapprovingly as he shambles toward the lifeless thread* Will you people stop killing these threads already? It falls to people like me to revive it again, and it's a big waste of time.

...

No, wait.

Hey, it only took a couple of seconds to zap it back into life. *kisses fingers and raises them high in the air* You're welcome.


----------



## Spider

Kill this thread!


----------



## Nihal

Gaaaaaaah! A spider! Kill it, kill with fire!


----------



## Spider

Nihal said:


> Gaaaaaaah! A spider! Kill it, kill with fire!



NOOOOOOO!


----------



## Steerpike

The spider wins in the end.


----------



## Nihal

I'm glad I'm not a chicken.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Spider! (He is our hero.)


----------



## Steerpike

Let's throw some love to the whale too!






If I stand around 
And watch them drown in pools of gray
When we dive in, I can surely say there's feud with force
Am I in your way? 
Please knock me down, can I help you in?
When I'm not around let us all be found in certain ways

Dear Mr. Queequeg, you have been informed your life's been saved
You are not a black-hearted vicious mess so it's been claimed
If this is the beast
Pulling us towards the east on mighty waves
Let us look inside
And pull out all your pride, you know it's up to us

Holding pasts in ash black earth
Bound by roots
Roots into sand
Grow towards the giver

There's an open wound
Placed upon my heart, in anger's rage
If we open up the spirit it's the spirit that can bleed
Ahab the leading lad we can trust obsession carries them
Meet us at the temple
Healing all the crippled, don't forget the maimed

Lower soul 
Sent with gifts offering
Teeth of hope travel with
Child laid next to mother


----------



## Nihal

Sounds good.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Nihal said:


>


Whoever wrote that^ is evil, but in a good way.


----------



## Devor

That idea with the multiple endings is brilliant and I want to see someone try it.


----------



## druidofwinter

Nihal said:


> Sounds good.



Love that Nihal! 
Thanks for sharing.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

@Next poster,

Kill this _page._


----------



## Devor

Just call me the paginator.


----------



## Ireth

Devor said:


> Just call me the paginator.



You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.


----------



## Steerpike

Ireth said:


> You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.



Inconceivable!


----------



## Ireth

This seems a decent thread. I hate to kill it.


----------



## Scribble

Steerpike said:


> Inconceivable!



What is inconceivable is the number of innocent moles who have died to make notebooks for us to scribble in. For shame!


----------



## Ireth

Scribble said:


> What is inconceivable is the number of innocent moles who have died to make notebooks for us to scribble in. For shame!



C-c-c-c-c-combo breaker!


----------



## Spider

Scribble said:


> What is inconceivable is the number of innocent moles who have died to make notebooks for us to scribble in.



This mole can go, though.


----------



## Nihal

Moleskines are so insanely expensive here... *sigh*


----------



## Addison

Poor moles.


----------



## Steerpike

Nihal said:


> Moleskines are so insanely expensive here... *sigh*



They are expensive here too. Overpriced. 

Get a Leuchtturm1917 instead (though admittedly they're not the cheapest around).


----------



## Nihal

Leuchtturm1917? I've never heard about this brand before, thanks.

What is good in Moleskines is how they're built. Good quality paper assembled in a way that allows to completely open the notebook, leaving no bump created by the spine of the book. That's awesome when it comes to sketchbooks, allowing to do double-page drawings and stuff.

I had my sister to bring some for me when she went to Europe, so I can finally try one without having to pay 2x-3x the original price here.


----------



## Steerpike

Nihal:

Yeah, same with the Leuchtturm. I came across them looking for good-quality paper notebooks, because I write with a fountain pen and with most notebooks the ink bleeds right through the page. You have to have good paper for that. 

I don't think the Leuchtturms will open the way you want, though. Although they make a lot of different notebooks, so maybe they have something that does.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

This just in: I was having tea at 4:00 in the afternoon, which is the official tea time.

Uh… isn't it? I wouldn't really know. Massachusetts is better known for dumping tea into the ocean. I don't live on the coast so I had to drink it. It was too hot to drink near the pool, and dumping tea in the toilet or bathtub doesn't make a strong enough statement.

4:05. I think I'll pour another cup.



@People having a real conversation: sorry.


----------



## Ireth

^ That made me chuckle. Shame I'm all out of thanks again.


----------



## Spider

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Massachusetts is better known for dumping tea into the ocean. I don't live on the coast so I had to drink it. It was too hot to drink near the pool, and dumping tea in the toilet or bathtub doesn't make a strong enough statement.



Careful, tea-dumping is a sensitive topic for a certain Scribe around here.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

@Ireth,

Then I'll get no thanks for representing my home state by echoing the statement made my the original tea-dumping Bostonians:









Spoiler: what that guy in the yellow coat, who's from New Hampshire, says



"F is for fish, you Massholes."


----------



## Nihal

Quick switch back to the older conversation topic just to maintain the chaos, mwahaha!

I went through the Leuchtturm, trying to find notebooks with paper of a good gramature, so, I ended checking all their lines. I don't think I saw any one with the feature I'm looking for. :|


--
About the tea, you can throw away as much tea you want! Yuck!


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

In Hong Kong, there are so-called local 'western' restaurants. They usually serve breakfast foods, and are as authentically western as Americanized* Chinese restaurants.

*(My wife had no idea what a fortune cookie or a crab rangoon was when we first met. In a game of charades, when she drew the word 'fortune cookie' she mimicked eating a cooking, then wiping her brow in mock relief after being missed by a falling object.)

Anyway, at the HK western restaurants, they serve a drink called 'coffee-tea.' Take coffee and tea, put them together, and you end up with a drink that is neither instead of both. By that I mean, you can like both coffee and tea, but not necessarily like coffee-tea. I don't. Next time I'm back, I'll start the Tsim Sha Tsui Coffee-Tea Party.


----------



## Ireth

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Anyway, at the HK western restaurants, they serve a drink called 'coffee-tea.' Take coffee and tea, put them together, and you end up with a drink that is neither instead of both. By that I mean, you can like both coffee and tea, but not necessarily like coffee-tea. I don't. Next time I'm back, I'll start the Tsim Sha Tsui Coffee-Tea Party.



Heh. My dad once had that here in Canada by complete accident -- he ordered tea, but by some odd mistake they put coffee into his teapot along with the teabag. He didn't like it much. XD

*now curious as to what tea would taste like if made with the leaves of the coffee plant... would that be coffee tea too?*


----------



## teacup

>



Just because we had a damn fine Navy that put everyone else to shame, does not make us fish.

"RULE BRITANNIA, BRITANNIA RULES THE WAVES!"


----------



## Nihal

Well, apparently US people like to take good care of their fish. While some offer them tea other even create laws forbidding people to get them drunk and such.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

And some US people like to *train* their 11-month-olds to become 12-month-olds.


----------



## Nihal

Omg. Cuteness overload!

And she knows how to blow out the candle like a lady, hah!


----------



## Scribble

Anyone into documentaries? I listen to one or two each day while working. 

Last week I watched this BBC doc on Order and Disorder. Wonderfully written and directed: BBC Horizon - Order And Disorder: ENERGY (Documentary) - YouTube

This week I am into another BBC documentary, How Art Made the World (multi-episode): Documentary - BBC How Art Made The World 1 - More Human Than Human. - YouTube


----------



## Addison

Only the second day of classes and I already feel like I've been here a month. Not because it's hard, but because I'm bored. True I've gotten a lot of brain power for writing. But still. And now I have class rescheduling, compliments of family drama. Someone get me outta here.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

My second day of the school year, and I don't have a room to teach in because of construction at my school. They prepared for this by giving me an alternate/temporary room. It's huge, but full of boxes and bins fulla books, and almost as dusty and broken as my permanent room. The electricians—five of them—were installing lights when I came in there to set up. I just left a stack of books there and that was all I could do.

Students start tomorrow. I'm praying the fire marshal shut us down for the week so students won't inhale dust, but the cynic in me doesn't think that'll happen.

Yeah… sending my daughter to a private school was a good move.


----------



## Nihal

At my university we always had to steal desks from the other rooms. I had some classes in similar rooms as you described–the whole semester. It was a public university, but what makes it different from your situation is that the public universities are considered the *best* here.

You have to compete with thousands of other students to get a spot. The private ones are often better equipped (being paid, duh...), but the courses aren't considered as good as the ones offered by public universities. Sounds like some sort of a sick joke, doesn't it?


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

I shouldn't knock public education too much (since I work in it). It's forces outside of the schools that corrupt the system. Not something I want to get into, or I'll never shut up about it.

I find it funny that my colleagues in Hong Kong were so happy I'd teach in a US school when I announced I was leaving HK five years ago. I had lunch with my former boss in Hong Kong last month and told her the horrible truth, which is that I left the best job I ever had when I left her school. Not that I regret it totally. There are things I prefer about the life here, too.


----------



## Scribble

My son started college yesterday, and I got the price for the books. For this semester. Holy crap.


----------



## Nihal

I know how do you feel. Here, entering a public university is something to be proud of. Some people try for years, your parents probably won't shut up about it, etc. The truth is not so pretty once you're inside. I also had jobs where I felt exactly like this: a shiny surface hiding an ugly truth underneath. Pretty sad... but I don't regret a thing, not ingressing nor leaving those places.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

About my school: I was able to find other rooms that are free during my teaching periods, so we're not breathing nasty dust in _my_ classes. But the lady from the Health Department wasn't a happy camper when she came in the building yesterday.

About the Dragon (Hannah) : she walks!


----------



## Nihal

Someone of the health department comes to inspect the school? That's cool! :x

About the dragon: Awwww! Soon she'll be running and breaking stuff.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

If life were fair, anybody could one-punch-KO anybody under the condition that the punchee deserved a punch, and the puncher was obligated to throw said punch.

But since life isn't fair, maybe technology can be the great equalizer. So I came up with an idea for an app called "Punch-in-the-Facebook." How it works is like this:

(A.) A creepy guy contacts a random woman with a creepy message like, 'HI PRETTY! Hello dear, you may be surprised by my post, but you are very beautiful and are the kind of woman I want to spend the rest of my life blah blah blah…"

(B.) The woman is married, and used the 'Married to:" feature on her Facebook page.

(C.) Her husband has the app and presses the PUNCH button.

So once the PUNCH is pressed, every jerk who left the puncher's wife a message with words like 'pretty', 'beautiful', and 'hi' gets a virtual punch in the face. I'm thinking the app could do things like add a black eye graphic, and turn every 's' to a 'th' in future messages so you type like you're lisping due to missing teeth.


----------



## Nihal

Isn't that what the "poke" button is for? :x


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Somehow, that reaction seems so wrong, seeing how the creepy guys apparently want to "poke" my wife.

To clarify, my wife and I read these messages together and laugh at these jerks. It's not a concern regarding my marriage—I don't want this to be mistaken for something more sinister than it is. It's the creepiness of total strangers using Facebook to hit on women that weirds me out. I saw that dumb movie about Facebook, so I guess that's what the site was intended for, but still… for a long time, it was a place to store photos, but suddenly in 2013 my wife and other married women we know are getting several messages like this.


----------



## Nihal

Haha, yeah, I know. Random friend requests are odd enough, when accompanied by creepy messages it's simply a:








*delete*


----------



## Bruce McKnight

I'm not on Facebook, but if it had any sort of option that let me punch weirdos like that in the face, I would probably have to sign up.


----------



## Spider

Behold: the Punch button!


----------



## advait98

Dear God. Somebody punch this thread back to life!
Drumroll, please.


----------



## Nihal

Okay, then!

Fun fact: Every time the doorbell rings one of my cats runs and hides. It's like if the doorbell is the herald of the impending doom; as soon the terrible noise sounds impossibly tall, heavy and nameless titans whose steps shake the very ground invade his domains through the Gate to the Unknown. Eventually they leave, never doing him any harm, but he knows better than linger around and give them the opportunity.

But when the keys sound on the other side of the Gate to the Unknown he knows one of those smaller and lighter titans who feeds him, dries him when he goes out on the rain and hold him when he feels lonely is coming, so he rushes to the door and greets them with his best kitten meow.

The other cat? He's past the age of bothering about anything.


----------



## Addison

Sounds like kids. When they're young they run to the door to love you in the threshold and are wary of strangers. Upon reaching teenage years you come home and they just stare at you like you're the weirdest thing on earth. Or they ask when dinner's ready, ignorant of the fact you're wet, tired and in a bad mood.


----------



## FatCat

I once was a teenager. Then I grew up and started hating teenagers.


----------



## Nihal




----------



## advait98

FatCat said:


> I once was a teenager. Then I grew up and started hating teenagers.



I'll try not to be offended by that. I'm too loveable.

I'd say I'm not crazy about cats either, but the sheer population, I'm sure, would just kill me on the spot.


----------



## Draco99

It this topic still dying?


----------



## Nihal

What is dead may never die?


----------



## Ireth

Nihal said:


> What is dead may never die?



That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons, even Death may die.

~can't recall the writer, alas.


----------



## Ddruid

Why is this thread still here?


----------



## Spider




----------



## Ddruid

Smooth, buddy, real smooth.


----------



## CupofJoe

Ireth said:


> That is not dead which can eternal lie,
> And with strange aeons, even Death may die.
> ~can't recall the writer, alas.


"That is not dead which can eternal lie. Yet with strange aeons even death may die."
 The Nameless City H. P. Lovecraft
Or so I am told.


----------



## Reaver

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!


----------



## Reaver

For all us movie lovers waiting for the midnight showing of THE DESOLATION of SMAUG: A fun fact from the official FDA guidelines on "acceptable" food contamination for your reading pleasure. Enjoy and bon apetit'!

POPCORN	 
Rodent filth
(AOAC 950.91)	1 or more rodent excreta pellets are found in 1 or more subsamples, and 1 or more rodent hairs are found in 2 or more other subsamples
OR
2 or more rodent hairs per pound and rodent hair is found in 50% or more of the subsamples
OR
20 or more gnawed grains per pound and rodent hair is found in 50% or more of the subsamples
*	Field corn	5% or more by weight of field corn
DEFECT SOURCE: *Rodent excreta - post harvest and/or processing animal contamination, Rodent hair - post harvest and/or processing contamination with animal hair or excreta, Rodent gnawing - post harvest and/or processing damage, Field corn - harvest contamination
SIGNIFICANCE: *Aesthetic
*


----------



## Devor

Reaver said:


> I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!



Uh oh . . . .


----------



## Ireth

Reaver said:


> For all us movie lovers waiting for the midnight showing of THE DESOLATION of SMAUG: A fun fact from the official FDA guidelines on "acceptable" food contamination for your reading pleasure. Enjoy and bon apetit'!
> 
> POPCORN
> Rodent filth
> (AOAC 950.91)	1 or more rodent excreta pellets are found in 1 or more subsamples, and 1 or more rodent hairs are found in 2 or more other subsamples
> OR
> 2 or more rodent hairs per pound and rodent hair is found in 50% or more of the subsamples
> OR
> 20 or more gnawed grains per pound and rodent hair is found in 50% or more of the subsamples
> *	Field corn	5% or more by weight of field corn
> DEFECT SOURCE: *Rodent excreta - post harvest and/or processing animal contamination, Rodent hair - post harvest and/or processing contamination with animal hair or excreta, Rodent gnawing - post harvest and/or processing damage, Field corn - harvest contamination
> SIGNIFICANCE: *Aesthetic
> *



Good thing I don't eat popcorn anyway. XD


----------



## Nihal

Enjoy some nightmare fuel:


----------



## Devor

Nihal said:


> Enjoy some nightmare fuel:



This is like . . . . Airbender meets Weeping Angel Cannibals.


----------



## Sparkie




----------



## The Construct

CupofJoe said:


> "That is not dead which can eternal lie. Yet with strange aeons even death may die."
> The Nameless City H. P. Lovecraft
> Or so I am told.


If Wikipedia is to be believed, it is in fact "*And* with strange aeons even death may die." not "*Yet*". The "yet" version comes from the cover of an Iron Maiden album.


----------



## Legendary Sidekick

Sparkie said:


>


A memorable Season 10 moment!




Nihal said:


> Enjoy some nightmare fuel:


Unfortunately, I won't forget this^ either.


----------



## Addison

:spin:

I just came home from a sculpting class. That clip has now created a horror story idea, which will give me nightmares. Great clip though. Creepy, but great.


----------



## Reaver

Once Bitten Twice Shy by Great White.


----------



## Addison

I have the friggin power ranger's theme song stuck in my head for no reason. I haven't seen the show in years.


----------



## Sparkie

Does anyone else want one of those cell phone watches as bad as I do?


----------



## Scribble

Sparkie said:


> Does anyone else want one of those cell phone watches as bad as I do?



I refuse to have a regular mobile phone, so I'm going to skip the watch as well. I carried a Blackberry on my hip for years but when I got rid of it, I took the red pill and escaped the mental loop prison of: message, wait, receive, repeat. 

So, no.


----------



## Nihal

Sparkie said:


> Does anyone else want one of those cell phone watches as bad as I do?



No. I read on my phone and its screen is already tiny enough to be almost a hassle. :x


----------



## Devor

Sparkie said:


> Does anyone else want one of those cell phone watches as bad as I do?



The reviews aren't great.  According to the analysis I read, the wrist-watch phone works best for people who get a lot of notifications and want a quick-and-easy way to check if they're important.  It just sounds like more of the ever-tightening leash to me.


----------



## Reaver

> Does anyone else want one of those cell phone watches as bad as I do?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> HELL YES!! I also want a monkey dressed like the monkey in Space Ghost. If not that, then Chim Chim from Speed Racer.
Click to expand...


----------



## Nihal

I can hear them saying "Omfg!".


----------



## Addison

Poor birdies! :0


----------



## Addison

I am, for some reason, on a horror/thriller movie watching spree. Yet my writing is as funny and normal as ever. Which is good, the last thing I want is to inadvertently tinge it with the theme of "Husk" or "Friday the 13th".


----------



## Ireth

Peanut butter and pickle sandwiches are surprisingly good. Not amazing, but not puke-inducingly terrible either.


----------



## Addison

:eeeew!:  I almost threw up just reading that. I like peanut butter, and I like pickles (only the bread and butter type), both together? No thank you. What I wouldn't give right now for a bbq chicken pizza from The Pizza Factory.


----------



## Reaver

What ever happened to Randolph Scott?


----------



## Sparkie

Reaver said:


> What ever happened to Randolph Scott?



Moved to Hawaii with his boyfriend.


----------



## Reaver

Good ol' Sparkie. You're awesome dude.


----------



## Sparkie

Right back at'cha, Reaver!


----------



## Reaver

When brave Sparkie fought the Manazons

He smote them with twin falchions

And when he slew the cockatrice

It’s dying breath was a piteous hiss

In throes of death,  the kraken doth exclaim:

“Great hero, from whence hath thou came?”

And Sparkie replied, no trace of pity:

“Foul beast! I am Emperor-King of Screw City!”


----------



## Reaver

When Phil the Drill came to Earth

From the planet Mars

He went around stealing gold

And picking fights in bars

He became really infamous

He couldn’t wear a disguise

That’s because he’s twelve feet tall

And shoots lasers from his eyes

If you see Phil coming 

You better run in fear

Unless you want to be his friend 

Then give him all your beer


----------



## Ireth

Reaver said:


> When Phil the Drill came to Earth
> 
> From the planet Mars
> 
> He went around stealing gold
> 
> And picking fights in bars
> 
> He became really infamous
> 
> He couldn’t wear a disguise
> 
> That’s because he’s twelve feet tall
> 
> And shoots lasers from his eyes
> 
> If you see Phil coming
> 
> You better run in fear
> 
> Unless you want to be his friend
> 
> Then give him all your beer



But what if you don't have beer? D=


----------



## Reaver

Here you go Ireth:




Reaver said:


> When Phil the Drill came to Earth
> 
> From the planet Mars
> 
> He went around stealing gold
> 
> And picking fights in bars
> 
> He became really infamous
> 
> He couldn’t wear a disguise
> 
> That’s because he’s twelve feet tall
> 
> And shoots lasers from his eyes
> 
> If you see Phil coming
> 
> You better run in fear
> 
> Unless you want to be his friend
> 
> Uhh...Something something... rhymes with fear


----------



## Reaver

Remember, remember

The twenty-first of November

When The Reaver joined this lot

I know of no reason

Why The Reaver's season

Should ever be forgot.


----------



## Reaver

Come gather ‘round the fire friends

And hear my tale of yore

Of lovely sorceress Ireth

Who vanquished the giant Slorr

The tiny village of Mythicscribia

Faced the creature’s wrath

And surely would be razed

Had Ireth not stood in its path

The fell monster bellowed loudly

So loud it shook the trees

But Ireth cast a lightning spell

And brought it to its knees

The giant’s eyes were full of fear

Its face was full of dread

The sorceress whispered another spell

And struck the monster dead


----------



## Ireth

Reaver said:


> Come gather ‘round the fire friends
> 
> And hear my tale of yore
> 
> Of lovely sorceress Ireth
> 
> Who vanquished the giant Slorr
> 
> The tiny village of Mythicscribia
> 
> Faced the creature’s wrath
> 
> And surely would be razed
> 
> Had Ireth not stood in its path
> 
> The fell monster bellowed loudly
> 
> So loud it shook the trees
> 
> But Ireth cast a lightning spell
> 
> And brought it to its knees
> 
> The giant’s eyes were full of fear
> 
> Its face was full of dread
> 
> The sorceress whispered another spell
> 
> And struck the monster dead



Yay! I love it!  I'd give you rep points, but I have to wait a while. Darn site restrictions. :/


----------



## Reaver

Ireth said:


> Yay! I love it!  I'd give you rep points, but I have to wait a while. Darn site restrictions. :/



No worries. Glad you enjoyed it. Spider's next.


----------



## Reaver

Spider Spider burning bright

Guiding weary warriors through the night

Will you join us in our fight?

Vanquish darkness with your light

Spider Spider to you we plead

Spider Spider it’s you we need

Spider Spider full of grace

Deliver us to a peaceful place


----------



## Spider

Reaver said:


> Spider Spider burning bright
> 
> Guiding weary warriors through the night
> 
> Will you join us in our fight?
> 
> Vanquish darkness with your light
> 
> Spider Spider to you we plead
> 
> Spider Spider it’s you we need
> 
> Spider Spider full of grace
> 
> Deliver us to a peaceful place



That's awesome. Thanks, Reaver! That brought a smile to my face.


----------



## Addison

Butterflies in the stomach is normal nerves. I have a butterfly colony reunion with a circus and rag-time dancers and aerial dancers.


----------



## Nihal

Today.

107.6 ÂºF, to my dear US users.







16:36, it's still 40ÂºC now, and the summer has yet to come!


----------



## Reaver

Spider said:


> That's awesome. Thanks, Reaver! That brought a smile to my face.



Glad you enjoyed it, Spider!


----------



## Ireth

Have you written one for Black Dragon yet? I think our admin deserves his own poem.


----------



## Devor

Ireth said:


> Have you written one for Black Dragon yet? I think our admin deserves his own poem.



I second this.

Nicely done, Reaver.


----------



## Reaver

Devor said:


> I second this.
> 
> Nicely done, Reaver.



Thanks Devor & Ireth!! A poem for BD & my friend the Barbarian are forthcoming so stay tuned.


----------



## Reaver

Black Dragon soars the skies above 

And roams the land below

Protector of the Scriptorium

Ever vigilant, this we know

Benevolence and wisdom

Balanced with great might

No evil or malfeasance 

Can ever escape his sight

So all you trolls and spammers

You have been forewarned

Because Sheol hath no fury 

Like our Black Dragon scorned


----------



## Reaver

Devor the Barbarian

Roams the land alone

Exiled King of Warriors

Lost his only home

Now he travels far and wide

Righting any wrong

Needing no one by his side

The Barbarian, mighty and strong

His enemies flee before him

Armies cower in fear

Devor the Barbarian

A name they wish not to hear

Devor the Barbarian

Exiled Warrior King

Devor the Barbarian

To you this song we sing


----------



## Phietadix

Maybe I should give it a try . . . Most of the good ones have been taken, but Legendary Sidekick didn't get one. Let's see, what do we know about him. He's the goddess of cats, wrote Baldhart, has a good sense of humor. That should be enough.
Meet the Sidekick Legendary

He's the goddess of all cats

A position most prestigious

But requires eating rats

He created the Baldhart we all love

Who has good as her desire

But sometimes she must make compromises

For she serves a purpose higher

Meet the Sidekick Legendary

His sense of humor's best

His love of fun is great

But at times his humor must rest

If you’re tired of feeling down

If you want a day that's great

Meet The Sidekick Legendary 

It'll be a day you'll never hate


----------



## knight1298

taco!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## knight1298

this is funnnnnnnnn!!!!


----------



## Lunaairis

so happy to finally be getting some where with my writing! Now if only my homework could get done on its own so I could keep writing.


----------



## Reaver

This thread is the only thing that will survive Y2K. If you don't get this joke, remember that The Reaver still loves you.


----------



## Nihal

Reaver said:


> This thread is the only thing that will survive Y2K. If you don't get this joke, remember that The Reaver still loves you.



Wait, does that means that this thread is some sort of time machine? Can we text people in the past?!


----------



## Jabrosky

The OP did say we could post stories in this thread, so here's the first of two planned scenes from a short historical fiction featuring Attila the Hun. This was the story I was talking about in my recent lactose intolerance thread in Research.*

Fatal Delivery

Constantinople, 453 AD*

The smell of freshly baked bread wafted between the palace's columned archways. Stylian wrinkled his nose. He would have welcomed the aroma earlier at dinnertime, but the evening had already passed with his stomach full. Except for oil lamps flickering from scattered stands, midnight darkness shrouded the hallways he passed through. No one should have even been awake, let alone cooking anything, at such an hour.

Stylian hovered a sweaty hand over his sheathed gladius's hilt. A lifetime of service in the Eastern Roman forces had bronzed his skin, scarred his hooked nose, and earned him a general's iron breastplate. Even as his hair faded from black to gray, his muscles had kept their bulging firmness. A man of such enduring strength, needed more in these times than ever before, would make the best candidate for the Emperor's successor. Hopefully the Emperor himself had brought Stylian here for that purpose. But why so late, and what was with the smell of bread?

The last hallway Stylian marched through opened into an octagonal chamber crowned with a domed ceiling. A platform in the room's easternmost side supported the throne on which Emperor Marcian himself lounged, fidgeting with a gold wine-cup. The chamber's opposite side was shrouded in complete darkness, but Stylian could have sworn to have seen a tongue of red cloth waving within it. He tapped his sword's hilt with his fingers.

"There's no need to be so anxious, my favorite commander." Marcian leaned forward from his throne with a smile across his wrinkled face.

"In my defense, you could have picked a sunnier time of day for this," Stylian said. "This better be important, Your Imperial Majesty."

"I assure you that it's nothing less than saving the light of civilization itself. I trust you have been following the reports on Attila's movements, yes?"

"Last I heard, the Huns were bound for Rome in the West. Surely they can't be a threat to us anymore."

Marcian shook his head. "You couldn't be more wrong. Ever since you last heard, they've galloped back to our borders along the Danube. The summer won't arrive this year before the Scourge of God bangs on Constantinople's door itself!"

"I'd sooner wash my blade in his blood before he even raises his hand!" Stylian pounded a fist into his palm.

"I admire your enthusiasm, my general, but I didn't bring you here to announce another campaign. At least not the kind you're used to." Marcian stood up and made a beckoning gesture with his hand, but he was facing the dark area of the room behind Stylian. "I've decided we won't vanquish the Hunnic foe with cold steel alone, but by putting a warmer weapon into him."

From the darkness strode a man cloaked in dark red, carrying a large and flat wooden chest in his arms. The smell of bread flowed stronger than before from the chest as he passed Stylian.

"A warm and tasty weapon, that is," the cloaked man said. "Call me Petronas, the Milkman."

Stylian snickered. "I suppose a humble mantle is the cleverest disguise."

"More like the most fitting for my line of work. The profession I represent goes further back than you can imagine. It was ancient beyond years when Julius Caesar was still in his womb, and it survives even after the West and East have split. And during all that time, we have performed one role that has set the course of history."

Petronas pulled the chest's lid open. A thick disc of flatbread blanketed with melted cheese stretched across its interior. The warmth radiating from it, together with the pleasing smell, made Stylian's mouth melt inside.

"Melted cheese on flatbread," he said. "A most inventive and appetizing recipe, I'll admit. But how could it possibly set the course of history?"

"All our service has its roots in a certain observation, my general." Petronas tapped the cheeese with a finger. "You know not all men can digest foods made from milk, but what we Milkmen have noted is that the ability to consume milk is not evenly distributed across the world. Some nations of men can stomach it more than others. The pale barbarians of the north, like Celts and Germans, can enjoy it even more than we of Roman descent can. On the other hand, the dark-skinned peoples of the south have more difficulty. Hannibal of Carthage and the Egyptian Cleopatra were among these, which we Milkmen used to our advantage with this very recipe."

"You poisoned them with cheese on flatbread? I thought they both committed suicide."

"You can't believe everything the historians tell you," Marcian said. "They only tell the stories the powers that be want them to tell."

Petronas nodded. "Indeed, we still have the orders for their elimination archived. Mind you, there are certain southerners who can digest milk unlike the rest. But one race with even less tolerance for it than the southerners are the narrow-eyed men of the most distant east. It so happens that Attila and all his Huns descend from that very stock."

Stylian grinned. "I can figure out what you're planning. You want to poison Attila with your special dish." He laughed. "A dish that can kill Huns but not Romans. What brilliance!"

"Technically milk indigestion can't kill anyone by itself. It only renders them weak and vulnerable for the killing."

"Which is why I've brought you here, Stylian," Marcian said. "You've still got most of your youthful strength. What you have to do is deliver these flatbreads to Attila's camp. Once his men have a taste of them, you and your forces can finish them off once the effects set in."

"So we can wipe them all out with barely a fight," Stylian said. "I like that. But wouldn't Attila be suspicious of tribute from us? You did cut off tribute from him before."

"Trust me, barbarian warlords always crave tribute sooner or later. If anything, Attila plans to force it from us himself." Marcian rose from his throne to pat a hand on Stylian's shoulder. "You need not worry about anything, Stylian. Just do as you're told and you can come home a hero."

"Not that we plan to disclose it openly," Petronas said. "We Milkmen must remain unknown for our service to persist. It shall be told that Attila died of, let's say, a nosebleed from too much drinking."

Stylian shrugged. So much for parading down the streets of Constantinople with gold medals studding his breastplate. "I suppose it'll be a private glory for me then, but the light of civilization must flicker on. I'll do it."


----------



## Reaver

Nihal said:


> Wait, does that means that this thread is some sort of time machine? Can we text people in the past?!



Yes indeed. In fact, I have several historical figures following me on Twitter.


----------



## Tom

Can I use a crossbow to kill this thread? Or must I get close enough to engage it in an honorable duel?


----------



## Steerpike

You can _try _to use a crossbow to kill the thread. This thread has a really good armor class.


----------



## Reaver

But what if I roll a natural 20 and I use the famed Crossbow of the Divine Cat?


----------



## Sparkie

Was this thread ever truly dead?

DOES IT MATTER?  NO!  IT LIVES!  IT'S ALIVE!!!

(At least until it dies again.)


----------



## pmmg

I think I might throw holy water on it.


----------



## Ban

You resurrected the ancient one Sparkie. The gigantic corpse of a thread that blossomed in a bygone time. We shall see if this is a good or a bad thing, but it is certainly a thing.


----------



## Devor

What is dead may never die!


----------



## Garren Jacobsen

I hate kittens.


----------



## Ban

Brian Scott Allen said:


> I hate kittens.



I sadly must now hate Brian. My honor demands it.


----------



## Devor

Brian Scott Allen said:


> I hate kittens.



But they taste so good!  I mean, come on, kitten steak doused in bourbon, what could be better than that?


----------



## Svrtnsse

Devor said:


> But they taste so good!  I mean, come on, kitten steak doused in bourbon, what could be better than that?



All of that, but with added mushroom sauce.


----------



## Butterfly

A zombie thread attack! 

And it took a Sparkie to get things going again.


----------



## TheCrystallineEntity

NOOOO! Not the kittens! 

A Kitten Apocalypse causes the thread to be overrun!


----------



## Garren Jacobsen

Banten said:


> I sadly must now hate Brian. My honor demands it.



Kittens are cats only dumber, and cats suck.


----------



## Holman

Brian Scott Allen said:


> Kittens are cats only dumber, and cats suck.



Kittens are far from dumb - their cuteness is a weapon that they use to steal your soul. While cats are just waiting for the opportunity to eat your face.


----------



## Devor

Holman said:


> While cats are just waiting for the opportunity to eat your face.



Whatever you do, don't give them one!


----------



## Garren Jacobsen

Devor said:


> Whatever you do, don't give them one!



Indeed, you should never have a cat because they are portals to hell itself.


----------



## Tom

Brian Scott Allen said:


> Indeed, you should never have a cat because they are portals to hell itself.



As the owner of a cat who will bite my feet if I stick them out from under my blankets, I can confirm this.


----------



## TheCrystallineEntity

As the look-er-after-er of a cat who is sweet-tempered, affectionate, utterly adorable, and looks too cute for words when playing hide and seek or waiting to pounce on her rattly toy, I find I must unleash the Kitty Apocalypse Mark 2 on both of you.
Lead by my cat, Boo:


----------



## Devor

Brian Scott Allen said:


> Indeed, you should never have a cat because they are portals to hell itself.



I was wondering why my last kitty steak gave me so much trouble afterwards.... :confused2:


----------



## Garren Jacobsen

Devor said:


> I was wondering why my last kitty steak gave me so much trouble afterwards.... :confused2:



Told you to not use the Diablo Sauce. Kitty steak is best with cholula.


----------



## Addison

My dog spotted a cat on the fence. Tried to get it but it was a two-foot pup against a five-foot fence. She gave it a good shot but bounced right off. She looked at the cat, tried again, finally just came inside. I swear to god the cat stuck it's tongue out as my little puppy plodded up the steps with its tail between its legs. It wasn't smirking when my kid brother ran toward it wearing a monster mask. The perfect ending, at dinner, my dad was singing "Garfield On My Fork". Explains why the puppy kept following him around the kitchen.


----------



## Holman

Addison said:


> My dog spotted a cat on the fence. Tried to get it but it was a two-foot pup against a five-foot fence. She gave it a good shot but bounced right off. She looked at the cat, tried again, finally just came inside. I swear to god the cat stuck it's tongue out as my little puppy plodded up the steps with its tail between its legs. It wasn't smirking when my kid brother ran toward it wearing a monster mask. The perfect ending, at dinner, my dad was singing "Garfield On My Fork". Explains why the puppy kept following him around the kitchen.



This just proves that dogs are dumber than cats, dogs taste better too, not as stringy and much more meat.

Great Dane sweet meats...mmmmmmmmm......They are the dogs bollocks.


----------



## Garren Jacobsen

Holman said:


> This just proves that dogs are dumber than cats, dogs taste better too, not as stringy and much more meat.
> 
> Great Dane sweet meats...mmmmmmmmm......They are the dogs bollocks.



Yeah, this is true. But at least dogs aren't portals to hell itself.


----------



## Ban

*Snapperdapper Raggadoo*.



There I said it. Don't judge me.


----------



## Steerpike




----------



## Reaver

I don't know about this thread but you sure as *f**k *killed my day. Thanks buddy.


----------



## Steerpike

A cat's fur is provided by nature (and, possibly, supernatural forces) to invest the animal with the illusion of cuteness. The illusion can be destroyed by application of water to the creature, as demonstrated in the photograph above.


----------



## Holman

You can make a cat levitate by spreading butter on its back and dropping it from a height of at least three feet.


----------



## CupofJoe

Holman said:


> You can make a cat levitate by spreading butter on its back and dropping it from a height of at least three feet.


Unfortunately the University's Ethics committee refused permission for me to test this hypothesis until I received informed consent from the felines to be tested. Getting a Cat to sign a piece of paper is hard... worse than Mob Lawyers...


----------



## Svrtnsse

CupofJoe said:


> Unfortunately the University's Ethics committee refused permission for me to test this hypothesis until I received informed consent from the felines to be tested. Getting a Cat to sign a piece of paper is hard... worse than Mob Lawyers...



Why must these felinetropes stand in the way of science!


----------



## Reaver

CupofJoe said:


> Unfortunately the University's Ethics committee refused permission for me to test this hypothesis until I received informed consent from the felines to be tested. Getting a Cat to sign a piece of paper is hard... worse than Mob Lawyers...



I can't even get my cat to come to me when I call him. He just ignores me and keeps typing.


----------



## Devor

CupofJoe said:


> Unfortunately the University's Ethics committee refused permission for me to test this hypothesis until I received informed consent from the felines to be tested. Getting a Cat to sign a piece of paper is hard... worse than Mob Lawyers...



Ethics are weird.  I can butcher a cat for dinner but having one sit for an ink blot test requires a lawyer, a license, and bandages - for where it bites me.


----------



## Garren Jacobsen

Devor said:


> Ethics are weird.  I can butcher a cat for dinner but having one sit for an ink blot test requires a lawyer, a license, and bandages - for where it bites me.



Are you this guy?


----------



## Devor

Brian Scott Allen said:


> Are you this guy?



ALF!!!  I haven't seen that guy in ages.


I mean.... uhhh........... something clever.....


No, that guy needs to learn how to prepare his food right.  Geesh.  If you're going to eat a cat while it's still alive, you have to tie it's claws and cut it down the stomach.  I mean, what is he doing with that bread?


----------



## pmmg

If ALF does not kill the thread, nothing will.


----------



## Garren Jacobsen

Alf can't kill anything. But do you know what alien can kill this thread?

This one.


----------



## Ban

I shouldn't, but...
...
...
...
...
*By the power of necromancy, I revive this thread!*


----------



## Svrtnsse

FFS Ban!


----------



## Sparkie

*It's Alive! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!*


----------



## Ban

I know, I know, I invited the curse back into our home...

But It would be awfully rude to banish it right away, wouldn't it be?


----------



## Garren Jacobsen

Why.




Won’t. 



This. 






Thread. 







Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!!!


----------



## Devor

I don't know.

Maybe we should feed it bacon.


----------



## Ban

*Chants to further awaken the Great Old One*


----------



## Ban

Looks like it died...


Oh wait, muhahaha


----------



## Devor

The only thing dying is our sanity.


----------



## Ban

Devor said:


> The only thing dying is our sanity.



But what is dead may never die, so aren't we the most sane people now?


----------



## Svrtnsse

Sane...
or zany?


----------



## Devor

Ban said:


> But what is dead may never die....



Someone didn't see Coco.


----------



## Ban

Devor said:


> Someone didn't see Coco.



It's been a few months since I've last seen a coconut, so let alone a coco on its own.


----------



## S.T. Ockenner

This thread, this thread, this thread was  dead, but I revived it now. (to the tune of a wordless lullaby I have stuck in my head now).


----------



## Ban

Oy how about this little thread though?


----------



## S.T. Ockenner

Kill it! Kill KILL KILL!KKKKIIIIIILLLL!!!!!!!


----------



## Ban

Yeah let's talk about how much we dislike this thread and it shouldn't be around. Let's especially make sure we spread out that talk over an extended period of time.


----------



## S.T. Ockenner

I love this thread so much. It better not die. MAKE IT LIVE! LIVE ON FORRRREEEEVVEEERRR! THE EVEREXPANDING COSMOS!THIS THREAD SHOULD be one million pages long!


----------



## Sparkie

I have returned to this site after an extended hiatus just to...

*See this thread come back to life!!!*


----------



## Reaver

*                             SPARKIE!!!!*

*My all time favorite Scribe has returned and words can't describe how much joy this brings to my cold, cold heart.*

*                    ******EDIT**********
*That being said, this f**king thread must DIE!*


----------



## S.T. Ockenner

Please, murder is illegal. THE THREAD MUST SURVIVE!


----------



## Prince of Spires

Dark Lord Thomas Pie said:


> Please, murder is illegal. THE THREAD MUST SURVIVE!


But so is necromancy. So this thread must have been left dead...

Wait, does that make this threat undead? We're going to need some silver posts in that case.


----------



## S.T. Ockenner

Since when is necromancy illegal?


----------



## Prince of Spires

Depends which world you're on and which calendar you follow. Without knowing those, that's impossible to answer with an answer that makes sense to you.

But, just to give you an answer, I'll go with 12


----------



## Ban

Oy


----------



## Prince of Spires

Dibs


----------



## S.T. Ockenner

Get some ZeMed today for curing acne! Must be injected into your face bi-daily. Contains 'animal' products.                     
Side effects may include: 
 Itching, mild cold, fever, constipation, erectile dysfunction, death, cacti falling from the sky, and joining a bad Beatles death metal cover band.


----------



## S.T. Ockenner

Note: do not use if allergic to human flesh


----------



## S.T. Ockenner

I necromancied the thread.


----------



## S.T. Ockenner

I love necks so much, I became a necromancer. 
 Then I realized necromancer like zombies. That's good too, though. 
 Then I fell in love with pie and fire- and became a pyromancer.
Then-


----------



## S.T. Ockenner

BLARG!BLARG!


----------



## S.T. Ockenner

Any Major Dude Would Tell You that it's a major bummer, and honestly, What A Fool Believes is that, This Is It, but my Private Eyes tell me otherwise.

I'm all Caught Up in my Confessions, but the perpetrator just said "Yeah!" to every question without listening, and I said "You Make Me Wanna prosecute you, but you're clearly not listening."

For Once In My Life, the astronaut actually talked to me, asking if I wanted to go to Saturn. I said, "no, because My Cherie Amour has this Superstition that I have to educate out." The astronaut said, "bummer dude. Well, I'm off to go to Pastime Paradise! Bye!"


----------



## S.T. Ockenner

Please do not let us die! We will die if this thread dies! Aaaah!


----------



## S.T. Ockenner

幫助！我要死了！ ！ ！ ！ ！ ！


----------



## pmmg

Speak of the devil.


----------



## BearBear

pmmg said:


> Speak of the devil.


But if it's already dead? Then can we beat it like a horse?


----------



## BearBear

Test







Oh ok, you actually have to post the image.


----------



## pmmg

I will kill this thread with my silence...

Or I could post something to get it closed by the mods... Hmmmm....


----------



## BearBear

I've heard that one before


----------



## BearBear

They tried to scam me as I was buying garden rocks. It was $38 x 10, and $78 x 4 or so (by size) so the cashier says, oh, we have a 15% off on the $78 size, so they(?) apply it and suddenly it's more than double. Like the x10 thing became $114 x 10.

I'm all, "this isn't right."
She says, "they just updated the prices."
I say, "no, I have a quote, it should be $38, it just said $38."

She tries to argue with me back and fourth and I'm not having it.

I was dressed real nice for a place that sells rocks so she probably took me for a sap, but nuh uh, not this Bear.

So the guy loading the rocks in my truck accidentally loads too many. "See ya," gone.

Awfully fishy fishy


----------



## Aleshe

Hello! No takers huh?


----------



## BearBear

Yay, hiay! Thanks for coming. Yes, for some reason there's no public chat activity here.


----------



## Aleshe

Test test


----------



## Aleshe

Oh no, check out the latest activity.


----------



## BearBear

We're flooding it... that's no good.


----------



## Aleshe

Fail, big time fail


----------



## BearBear

I guess that's why they use the chat


----------

