# Writing Better Dialogue



## Black Dragon (Aug 10, 2011)

Writing engaging dialogue can be a serious challenge.  It can end up sounding artificial, stilted or tedious.

Do you have any tips for writing great dialogue?


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## Telcontar (Aug 10, 2011)

You can't be a shut in. I think most people who can write good dialogue are social creatures. Get out there and talk to people, and LISTEN to them talking as well. Only through a large collection of such memories will you be able to synthesize realistic speech.

Using forums and messengers doesn't count. People 'speak' differently in each one.


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## Theankh (Aug 11, 2011)

I agree, I think listening to others talk can be a help.

Learn to talk yourself if you can. Most of the time when I'm writing dialogue, I'm imagining how it would sound if I said it. If it sounds unnatural, I change it.


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## Map the Dragon (Aug 11, 2011)

I hate diaglogue that sounds too contrived. Readers aren't looking for talking robots, they want to hear characters that sound real in terms of personality. Ask yourself, what would my character truly say? Don't ask what you would say? Your characters have to take on a life of their own through dialogue. So, the best advice (I think) is to be honest.


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## Leuco (Aug 11, 2011)

I agree with everything already stated.

But you know, I think if you have interesting characters and conflicts, the dialogue seems to come more easily. If nothing's happening, then the dialogue will be very dry. And even though it's fantasy, characters need to be _somewhat_ realistic. We need to think about how they would feel and how they would react. And as writers, we shouldn't be afraid to use exclamation points. Characters should show emotion. 

Also, nonverbal language is important too. Sometimes characters talk with their expressions, body movements, or actions. It also helps keep out the "he said, she said" monotony. 

Honestly, something that has influenced my dialogue, and my work in general, is comic books. Not very epic fantasy, but some are soap opera-ish with lots of drama (like the old _X-Men_ books from the 80's) written in a story-board fashion. Plus they have lots of dialogue bubbles that make it easy and quick to read-- and I'm sure you'll agree that writers should read a lot! For me, I guess it's like cheating. But Ray Bradbury used to read a lot of comic books too! Also, good illustrators catch the nonverbal language which could be used as a reference.

I think comic books make for good research, unless of course, you want your heroes to talk like Shakespeare. Then you'll obviously need to do more sophisticated reading.

Maybe _Thor_...


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## pskelding (Aug 14, 2011)

Without good characters who have motivations and reactions dialogue will fall flat. 

That being said there are a few exercises you can do to try and improve your writing of dialogue.

One recommended by Michael Stackpole is to write out your scene with dialogue tags; he said, she snarled etc using 2 characters. Then remove all the tags.  If the word choice for each character doesn't show who they are and their emotion or motivation then you need to work on it.  I found this helped me quite a lot because it forces you to focus on your characters' word choices more than dialogue tags to show differentiation.  

The other thing that I found helps me I learned from Joe Abercrombie. That is to put some body language or movement into the dialogue.  Like - 

"I can see what you mean.", he waved the cigar before placing it in his mouth and lighting it. "This is going to be bad business."  He turned to enter the house, pulling a gun from his under his coat. 

That's a really simple version but using body language to show your characters mood or habits can help distinguish them from each other and make the dialogue come more alive.  When people talk to each other they give non-verbal body language clues all the time. Sit in a coffee shop sometime and watch 2 people talking you'll see what I mean. The subtle head tilt, the wandering eyes, leaning forward, relaxing back with an arm draped over the chair etc.


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## Dante Sawyer (Aug 14, 2011)

Use examples from your own life. If you have two characters, one quiet one outgoing, have the outgoing one dominate the conversation. Don't describe someone as dull and quiet and then have them give some great uplifting speech. It makes your writing less believable when you do that. Allow a character's personality come through in dialogue. Don't force anything. It'll only detract from the character development.


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## Motley (Aug 15, 2011)

No monologues and don't get stuck with rigid complete sentences. People often talk in fragments. Also, never write small talk unless it's sole purpose is to show how awkward or boring a character or situation is.

I recently read a (self-published) book where every line of dialogue was an expansive sentence. It was tiring and unrealistic.


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## Angharad (Aug 15, 2011)

Some great suggestions here.  I agree with Motley: People don't usually talk in complete sentences and dialogue written in complete sentences sounds stilted and unnatural.


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## pskelding (Aug 15, 2011)

Motley and Angharad's advice is very good also. Run-on sentences, fragments, interrupting, slang, accent and register (formal/informal) all affect dialogue.  You might have a well bred character who speaks in good complete sentences whereas one who's just a commoner wouldn't.  And other races might speak the common language with accented words or mistakes etc. 

Human - Go kill the big one!
Orc - Kill da big un!  

Games Workshop (Warhammer / Warhammer 40k) make full use of this stuff in their materials and their authors put it into their books as well.


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## Shadoe (Aug 16, 2011)

Try reading your dialog out loud, too. In character. If you feel uncomfortable saying the words, your character probably will too. Using movement to break up the dialog is also wonderfully efficient.


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## SeverinR (Aug 17, 2011)

Motley said:


> No monologues and don't get stuck with rigid complete sentences. People often talk in fragments. Also, never write small talk unless it's sole purpose is to show how awkward or boring a character or situation is.
> 
> I recently read a (self-published) book where every line of dialogue was an expansive sentence. It was tiring and unrealistic.


I am always trying to fix the color on my Word document. That annoying green underline with the line "fragment, consider revising"
I will have to go back and change it. Thumb my nose at the word editor. 
The nobles and noble born elves do try to speak properly, so they will speak in less fragments but even the best of speakers tend to cut out words.

Melima, Duchess of Myil would speak more eligantly and in less fragments then farm born street orphan Dakara.


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## Donny Bruso (Aug 17, 2011)

Ugh. Grammar check in MSWord hates my dialogue. I think about half of it gets green underlined as fragments. Then of course just about every paragraph pops up with red because I haven't added all my created words into the dictionary yet... As far as grammar goes I tend to ignore it when people are talking. Aside from proper placement of punctuation, the characters say what they're going to say, and the heck with MSWord's ideas of grammar.


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## Shadoe (Aug 18, 2011)

I usually do my initial writing in Notepad specifically because the squiggly lines annoy me. And the autocorrect - ugh! I only put the thing in Word when I'm ready to spellcheck and go over my grammar weaknesses. If I'm doing the actual writing in Word, I turn all that stuff off.


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## Lord Darkstorm (Aug 19, 2011)

One thing you could do is watch a few siffy channel made for tv movies (that's spelled syfy when they do it, but anyways).  Every line of dialog you hear, that is what your dialog shouldn't be.  Actually, if you watch enough of them, you will start to recognize bad dialog so fast you will never have to worry about writing it.

If self torture isn't in your list of teaching methods, then go with the reading it out loud.  Actually, try reading the whole thing out loud, it is amazing how many things you can find that way.


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## Thistlefizz (Aug 23, 2011)

I would recommend going to see live theater and paying close attention to how the dialogue moves the scene along.  By the very nature of their medium playwrights are going to be very good and "showing, not telling".  They can't rely on exposition, so the dialogue they construct will help you gain a clearer understanding of how good dialogue can progress a story.  Pay attention not only to what the characters say, but how they say it.  And pay attention to how they chance what they say and how they say it based on where they are and who they are with.  That can really help you make your own characters' dialogue feel more natural.


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## Philip Overby (Aug 23, 2011)

I read some advice that said don't try to make your dialogue sound TOO realistic.  If you do your story may sound like this:

_"Hey."

"Hey.  What's up?"

"Nothing.  Just watching some TV."

"That's cool."_

Wow!  It's so exciting!  But yes, I have also heard the saying dialogue aloud.  If it sounds stupid and clunky, then it probably will sound stupid and clunky when people read it.  

One thing that bugs me in fantasy specifically is when writers think they are being sneaky like this:

_"We must go to the Gamma Quadrant."

"Yes, but everyone knows the Gamma Quadrant is infested with space-bugs.  And of course your ex-wife lives there."

"Yeah, I know.  But I do want to visit my home planet, Golgor."
_
I really hate that.


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## Lord Darkstorm (Aug 23, 2011)

> One thing that bugs me in fantasy specifically is when writers think they are being sneaky like this:
> 
> "We must go to the Gamma Quadrant."
> 
> ...



Orson Scott Card had a funny video he put together that demonstrated the abuse of telling the reader something through dialog.  The problem is that when someone states something that everyone already knows for the express purpose of telling the reader, it makes the reader feel dumb.  A quick one line narrative telling the same thing is far better.  I think the name of the video was 'Remind me', should be require watching for all new writers...well, in my opinion it should be.


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## Angharad (Aug 23, 2011)

I've heard sneaking in information through dialogue referred to as the "As you know, Bob" phenomenon.  "As you know, Bob, the brain-eating zombies are always more of a problem on odd-numbered days of the month that start with a T."

Here's a link:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AsYouKnow


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## Kate (Aug 24, 2011)

I'm reading through a draft I wrote a few years ago, and one of the (many) terrible things that jumps out at me is the dialogue.  A lot of it is blow for blow one liners and useless verbal meandering.  A quick look in a couple of "how to write" types of books suggested that the dialogue should always convey something about the story, which I agree with. And then I read the advice above that says dialogue that gives away information is a no no, which I also agree with.
Surely there has to be a bit of give and take between useless and useful information revealed by the dialogue. Perhaps dialogue should only reveal information about the person saying it?

When I'm writing, I usually find that from the first line of dialogue the story takes a dive. So much so that in my current WIP I'm trying not to use it at all, sparingly at most.  Anyone ever read a novel that has no dialogue at all?


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## grahamguitarman (Aug 24, 2011)

Personally I'm using Ywriter for my novel - its free and has annoying no grammar checks (and its easy to write in small chunks then rearrange them afterwards) I prefer this because when writing dialogue you have to suspend grammar rules as people don't really use grammar when talking unless its a pre-written speech.

I'm trying to avoid putting plotlines into my dialogue, but will use dialogue as a prompt for more descriptive text eg

Bill "I thought you always got out early in the morning"
bob let that pass, it had already been a long and tedious morning before he even got out of the door blah blah blah.

rather than

Bill "I thought you always got out early in the morning"
Bob "yeah well its been a bad morning , all sorts of things happening blah blah blah"

in the first example the discussion still takes place but only half the spoken dialogue is included, a very simple way of making dialogue more expansive without endless speeches (especially since you can get away with putting more info into the non dialogue part of the discussion).

also its not necesary to always quote who spoke when eg;

Bill looked at Bob "nice day isn't it" Bob shrugged "yeah guess so" "well I think so anyway" Bill replied grumpily 

there was no need to put 'bob said' because it was obvious which part was his reply, it wasn't even necesary to put Bill said, this can't always be used but its a useful device when it works 

Thats my approach most of the time anyway - maybe others will disagree and take another view


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## Lord Darkstorm (Aug 24, 2011)

Just to clarify, it's the telling of information that all parties involved in the conversation already know that should be avoided.  Dialog is an excellent place for story related information, but only when one character is informing another character that doesn't already know.  Bringing in a dim witted forgetful character is probably not the best solution to this type of problem.


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## grahamguitarman (Aug 24, 2011)

Lord Darkstorm said:


> Just to clarify, it's the telling of information that all parties involved in the conversation already know that should be avoided.  Dialog is an excellent place for story related information, but only when one character is informing another character that doesn't already know.  Bringing in a dim witted forgetful character is probably not the best solution to this type of problem.


yeah it does sound pretty dumb telling someone information they should already know


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## Xanados (Aug 24, 2011)

pskelding said:


> "I can see what you mean.", he waved the cigar before placing it in his mouth and lighting it. "This is going to be bad business."  He turned to enter the house, pulling a gun from his under his coat.


Hey, sorry, I'm just trying to come to terms with proper dialogue punctuation. Shouldn't it be:

"I can see what you mean," He waved the cigar before placing it in his mouth and lighting it. "This is going to be bad business." He turned to enter the house, pulling a gun from his under his coat. 

Comma after the 'mean', right? 

"His name, " murmured a voice from behind, "is Dragon."


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## sashamerideth (Aug 24, 2011)

Angharad said:
			
		

> I've heard sneaking in information through dialogue referred to as the "As you know, Bob" phenomenon.  "As you know, Bob, the brain-eating zombies are always more of a problem on odd-numbered days of the month that start with a T."
> 
> Here's a link:
> http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AsYouKnow



I am late to the party but I swear I will kill you Angharad.  As soon as I escape from tvtropes.  You will be safe for the foreseeable future, but you shall rue the day you sent me to that accursed site!


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## Kate (Aug 24, 2011)

Lord Darkstorm said:


> Just to clarify, it's the telling of information that all parties involved in the conversation already know that should be avoided.  Dialog is an excellent place for story related information, but only when one character is informing another character that doesn't already know.  Bringing in a dim witted forgetful character is probably not the best solution to this type of problem.



That's a great way to clarify the distinction. Will keep that in mind.  



Xanados said:


> Hey, sorry, I'm just trying to come to terms with proper dialogue punctuation. Shouldn't it be:
> 
> "I can see what you mean," He waved the cigar before placing it in his mouth and lighting it. "This is going to be bad business." He turned to enter the house, pulling a gun from his under his coat.
> 
> ...



Right. All your punctuation goes inside the quotation marks. 

In the case of your example, I'm fairly certain there's a full stop after 'mean', not a comma: "I can see what you mean." He waved the cigar.....
It would be a comma if you were using an attribution. "I can see what you mean," he said. He waved the cigar....

Do double check that, but I'm 99.9% sure it's right.


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## Angharad (Aug 25, 2011)

sashamerideth said:


> I am late to the party but I swear I will kill you Angharad.  As soon as I escape from tvtropes.  You will be safe for the foreseeable future, but you shall rue the day you sent me to that accursed site!



Wow, I've received my first death threat!  I must be doing something right!


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## Shadoe (Aug 25, 2011)

Xanados said:


> Hey, sorry, I'm just trying to come to terms with proper dialogue punctuation. Shouldn't it be:
> 
> "I can see what you mean," He waved the cigar before placing it in his mouth and lighting it. "This is going to be bad business." He turned to enter the house, pulling a gun from his under his coat.
> 
> Comma after the 'mean', right?


This is not correct. It should be:

"I can see what you mean." He waved the cigar before placing it in his mouth and lighting it.

The reason you want a period there is because you're done with that sentence. ("I can see what you mean.") The next bit is a new sentence, so begins with a capital. For a comma, it would have to be something like this:

"I can see what you mean," he said, waving the cigar before placing it in his mouth and lighting it.


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