# The list of what we shouldn't do



## Kelise (Mar 28, 2011)

Turn nasty on someone who reviews your work: BigAl's Books and Pals: The Greek Seaman / Jacqueline Howett

I honestly can't stop laughing. That author is utterly atrocious. And hilarious. 


So, I ask you, what else shouldn't we do?


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## Telcontar (Mar 28, 2011)

Let hope overcome common sense. Scammers want to prey on your hope. 

Writer Beware


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## kjjcarpenter (Mar 28, 2011)

starconstant said:


> Turn nasty on someone who reviews your work: BigAl's Books and Pals: The Greek Seaman / Jacqueline Howett
> 
> I honestly can't stop laughing. That author is utterly atrocious. And hilarious.


 
That was the funniest thing I've read all week. Thanks for sharing!


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## Ravana (Mar 29, 2011)

I was just shaking my head and thinking "pathetic" until I got to this point:



> Miss Howlett:
> 
> *We* don't even want your book.
> 
> ...



Then I laughed myself sick. Please, _please_ tell me this anonymous poster really was from this shamelessly self-aggrandizing rip-off house!

Which is an answer to starconstant's question, as well: don't consider PublishAmerica for your manuscript. (In fact, if you go to their website, you shouldn't find it too difficult to make a list of things you _don't_ want to see when considering a particular publisher.…)


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## Ophiucha (Mar 29, 2011)

Hahaha, it wasn't even that bad a review.


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## Ravana (Mar 29, 2011)

Ophiucha said:


> Hahaha, it wasn't even that bad a review.


 
I'd go so far as to say it was undeservedly good–especially after reading the author's own description of her "work," which made it sound trite and at the same time ludicrous… not to mention showcasing just how poor her grammar really is–and that the reviewer displayed considerable equanimity in responding to her. The author should have been grateful that the review was written at all: had it been me, I would've circular-filed the thing before I reached the second page.


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## Philip Overby (Mar 29, 2011)

Never get angry or defensive if an editor rejects your work.  When I was doing manuscript evaluations, it seemed like 1 in every 5 submissions had someone who got angry at me or said I was stupid because I didn't like their story.  One guy even wrote a Myspace blog about me, analyzing my email (which I didn't have to write, I could have just sent a form rejection.)

Also if you ever edit, be careful who you reject because they may be in power one day and control your fate.  But who cares about that really.

Edit:  Never do as the author in the link starconstant posted.  Whereas she had a couple of "friend and family" reviews up on Amazon to encourage others to possibly buy her book, now they are at least 20
1-star reviews people have posted since she made her "comments."


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## Mdnight Falling (Mar 31, 2011)

LMAO!!!! wow... just Wow LOL


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## At Dusk I Reign (Apr 18, 2011)

starconstant said:


> So, I ask you, what else shouldn't we do?


 
I only just discovered this thread so thanks for the chuckles, starconstant. If ever a novel's title needed a major rethink...

As for what we shouldn't do, losing our rag is obviously top of the list. A little politeness goes a long way, regardless of who's reviewing our labour of love, as does a sense of our own ridiculousness. Everyone's a joke to someone else. Once you accept that fact it's all gravy.


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## Kate (Apr 28, 2011)

The first time I came across that link, it was in a self-help type article of how to cope with conflict. A great what-not-to-do example!  Indeed - how did that novel title make it through the brainstorm???!!! 

I freak out whenever I'm about to hear/read a comment on my work.  It's natural I spose.  Some people say they ignore all review good and bad, but I don't think this is helpful either.  Reviews, even bad ones, at least show who's responding to your work. 

The best advice I have ever heard about criticism, good and bad is to accept it.  If it's good, then it's easy to know what to to with it - Grin and then move on.  If it's bad then look to see if there's anything in it you can learn from, and then move on. the important but is the moving on.

And if we have to respond, rant and rave all you like but only write it down (or say it in public) after the heat of the moment has died down.


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## Kevin O. McLaughlin (Apr 29, 2011)

John Scalzi wrote a while back his suggested advice if you feel like "sock puppeting" about yourself on the internet (creating a fake persona on the net to argue against people who don't like your work, or are saying bad things about you).

I think it's equally relevant for writers replying to reviews of their work.  Link.



> “But wait!” I hear you say. “What if I sign go online and post my retorts under an entirely different name? Then I have the satisfaction of responding, but no one will know it’s me!” Yes, well. The term for using a fake name to respond to comments is “using a sock puppet,” and if you’re going to engage in sockpuppetry, this is how you should go about it:
> 
> 1. Put a sock over each hand. You may decorate the socks to taste. You’ve made sock puppets!
> 
> ...


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## Donny Bruso (May 3, 2011)

Wow... This is like a car accident. You can't help looking as you drive by. This, however, is such a magnificently horrible spectacle that I found myself actually needing to metaphorically stop the car, get out, and ask the police officer to bring the bodies a little closer so I could make out all the gory details.

I found the author's complete lack of reality so entertaining that I had to go check out Amazon to see if she started taking potshots at all the random people who trashed her work on there too. I especially liked the five star review saying how "the author is unafraid to break from the conventions of English grammar and sentence structure"

Maybe I'm crazy, but most of those 'conventions' are called 'grammatical rules' or better yet 'the way the bloody language is constructed so people can understand what you're trying to write' lol. Absolutely amazing the way people respond to criticism. The place to break conventions in in story construction and plot movement, not writing mechanics.


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## SeverinR (Jun 13, 2011)

I did not read all of her responses, 

But the ones I did guaranteed I would not read the book.
The final comment, I read, was the use of profanity when I did not see anyone else being unprofessional.

The author needs to grow up, and learn from every review, good or bad.  She also should realize someone is not going to like your work, no matter how great it is.  I was forced to read many "classics" in school, and was not impressed by many. (much like I usually do not like movies the professional critics like.)


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## BeigePalladin (Jun 13, 2011)

> My writing is just fine!
> 
> he did not download a new copy... no way! he did not!



I want one, can I keep her as a pet in a cage, so I can laugh at her some more?

that is the worst respone to criticism I have ever seen, and I like how the author is using the format of the book (namely, how it's saved) as an excuse for the sentance sturcutre and grammer

this made my day


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## Derin (Jun 19, 2011)

Ravana said:


> I'd go so far as to say it was undeservedly good–especially after reading the author's own description of her "work," which made it sound trite and at the same time ludicrous… not to mention showcasing just how poor her grammar really is–and that the reviewer displayed considerable equanimity in responding to her. The author should have been grateful that the review was written at all: had it been me, I would've circular-filed the thing before I reached the second page.



I agree, the review was a lot more generous than I would've given. They really downplayed the spelling and grammar. Personally, I get offended if I read a published work in which neither the author nor the editor has bothered to correct the grammar. Mistakes happen, but sometimes it's just bad writing that shows a huge lack of respect for the audience.


> Besides if you want to throw crap at authors you should first ask their permission if they want it stuck up on the internet via e-mail. That debate is high among authors.



You need the author's permission to post a review that isn't 100% positive? I wasn't aware there was even a debate about that. I certainly wouldn't trust an author on her side of that debate to be worth my leisure time.

I like the bit where she said that the erroneous sentences posted were fine.


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## Argentum (Aug 2, 2011)

Hoo hoo! That was the funniest thing I read in a long time. Because of how the author acted, I'm so tempted to give her a bad review, simply because now I can't resist. Not even two stars on goodreads.com. I don't pretend to be a great writer, but even if the world were to review my writing, I wouldn't get so low a rating. It's almost impossible for anyone to get a rating that low. It's below humiliation and it's wonderful. Yes, if anything, this is proof that readers want authors to not only act professional.

Things not to do:
Not to give up on your writing. If you know it's perfect, or the very best you can do. Never give up and wear rejection letters with pride. A good story cannot go by without eventually being noticed and shared.

Personally, I would say not to ignore the reviews. If they were written as politely and professionally as the review for the above mentioned 'book' (if it could be called that), I would at least make sure not to ignore the review in case there was any truth in what the reviewer said.


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## Sevvie (Aug 10, 2011)

That provided a wonderful time of entertainment... Thanks for that!

Has anyone else noticed that her book is no longer available for sale? I was really looking forward to reading the reviews. Unfortunately the link with the Author's responses to the link are now deleted as well... however to anyone, like me, who hasn't seen the full blow up: It's available HERE. Someone on DeviantArt was kind enough to make sure Howett couldn't hide her words...


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