# Worst 5 Movies of All Time



## Reaver

What do you think are the worst five movies of all time?

Here's my list:
​5. Popeye

4. My Cousin Vinny

3. Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

2. Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

1. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace


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## Benjamin Clayborne

I've only ever seen two movies in the theater that I consider to be truly awful: _Wing Commander_ and _Godzilla_ (1997). Those were the only two times I actually started shouting at the screen because the characters were so stupid.


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## Reaver

Benjamin Clayborne said:


> I've only ever seen two movies in the theater that I consider to be truly awful: _Wing Commander_ and _Godzilla_ (1997). Those were the only two times I actually started shouting at the screen because the characters were so stupid.



If this were a top ten list I'd have added those as well as the remake of *House of Wax *featuring Parris Hilton. It's one of those rare films where you hope everyone dies.


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## Ravana

I can safely say I've never seen any of these–and have no intention of doing so. Well, I saw parts of _Popeye_ and _Godzilla_. Part was enough. Similarly, I saw part of the _War of the Worlds_ remake… and that was _more_ than enough. Same with _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_ (the 2005 movie, not the 1971 musical _Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory_… which I liked). 

I could put the new _Dark Shadows_ movie on the list, if having only seen trailers counts–and those were damn well more than I ever want to see of that piece of tripe. Hmm… Depp makes it into two of my most despised remakes. Believe it or not, I actually like him as an actor–or at least have, in a couple cases. It's Tim Burton I blame; Depp just has the poor taste to continue working with him.

Worst movies I've actually seen all of? I rarely see movies in theaters any more, and have a pretty good notion of what I don't want to see, so I can't actually recall the "worst" I've paid to see. The ones I catch on TV, I usually turn off; the following are ones I have watched to the end. There were several I saw on _MST3K_, none of which I remember the names of; suffice it to say they all deserved the treatment. Apart from those:

- _Plan 9 from Outer Space_: Yeah, okay, that one's obvious. It really is terrible. On the other hand, since everybody already knows this, the only people who watch it do so for the comedy value–in which case it becomes a lot better. In fact, it doesn't even make IMDb's "Bottom 100" list, no doubt due to the fact that everybody already knows it's bad.

- _Moontrap_ (1989): Also doesn't make IMDb's "Bottom 100"–I can only assume due to anonymity. The only reason I watched this to the end was morbid curiosity: I wanted to see just how much farther its death-spiral could go before it hit bottom. Answer? All the way to the credits. Honestly, this is far and away a worse movie than _Plan 9_ is, if for no other reason than that no one expected much of Ed Wood to begin with, so they went in knowing it wasn't going to be "good." But if you're in to cringingly bad, this one's for you. Number one proof Walter Koenig was meant to play only support roles. 

- _The Black Hole_ (1979): The only positive thing I can say about this is that _Moontrap_ is worse. Disney does _2001_… epic fail. How this one avoided IMDb's list escapes me. Probably because it mercifully escaped the memories of those who saw it. Proof that you need more than a kickin' cast (Schell, Perkins, Borgnine, McDowell, among others) to make something work.

- _Excalibur_ (1981): I know there are people out there who love this movie. I just don't know why.

- _Dune_ (1984): Usually, I like David Lynch's work. This was a bloody disaster. And would have remained one even if Lynch had been allowed to do the final cut, since most of my objections have to do with content, not editing. Read the book. Definitely read the book. (At worst, watch Syfy's miniseries _Frank Herbert's Dune_… which _was_ a good version. Book's still better.)

The lesson here may be that the easiest movie to make poorly is a SF one… only qualifier I could put on that is that I don't watch much other than SF/fantasy, war and comedies, so there are thousands of potential candidates I've ruled out in advance.

-

P.S. For those who want to take my preferences with a grain of salt… I'm apparently one of only a half dozen people on the planet who liked _Ishtar_. Enough that I've watched it more than once. I think it's hysterical. Approaching it as a comedy no doubt helps considerably.


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## Ivan

The _best _worst movie I have seen is House. It is deliciously awful.


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## Pyrsa

When I was at uni, Dune was some guy's idea of the ideal first date to take me on. Did the relationship flourish? Uh, NO.


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## Benjamin Clayborne

Pyrsa said:


> When I was at uni, Dune was some guy's idea of the ideal first date to take me on. Did the relationship flourish? Uh, NO.



Not that it's a bad movie, but I once took a girl to see _The English Patient_. /facepalm


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## Shockley

First off, My Cousin Vinny is fantastic. It's campy and cheesy and stupid, but I love it more than just about any other movie. If it's on tv, I am watching it. 

 So my list, going from least worst to worst. I'm going to avoid the so-bad-it's-good movies. 

 5. Hunter Prey. It's recent so I doubt I'll remember it in five years, but it's unwatchable. 
 4. Superman III. Superman versus Richard Pryor. 
 3. Dungeons and Dragons. Just watch this movie and tell me I'm wrong. 
 2. Eraserhead: Not that Eraserhead is that bad. I'm a movie snob and I run with movie snobs, and they all love it. They worship this film. It's mediocre, at best. 
 1. Epic Movie. God. Damn. this. movie.


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## Steerpike

@Shockley: I agree that all of those sucked, except I did kind of like Eraserhead. Certainly had some imagery that stuck with me long afterward!


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## Shockley

As I hope I made clear, I'm just bitter towards David Lynch and what I see as undeserved fame. A more critical pick would be something along the lines of Jumper or House of the Dead.


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## chinookpilot77

Reaver said:


> If this were a top ten list I'd have added those as well as the remake of *House of Wax *featuring Parris Hilton. It's one of those rare films where you hope everyone dies.



True, but she did die a horrible death.


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## PlotHolio

1. Step Brothers (I watched it with my friend and I had to leave half-way through.)

2. Epic Movie (It wasn't even so bad it was good. It was just... bad...)

3. Bewitched (Will Ferrell is an <synonym for mule> through this entire movie, and I couldn't stand him.)

4. Manos, The Hands of Fate (It was on Mystery Science Theater, but it was very depressing to watch instead of funny.)

5. Dungeons and Dragons (Do you even have to ask?)


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## Yellow

This brings to mind a very, very terrible movie calles Bubba Ho-Tep. In it, an old man who believes he's Elvis teams up with another old man who believes he's Nixon to fight an evil egiptian mummy who haunts the old people's home and sucks the life force out of the retiree's bottoms. Also, the mummy is dressed as a pirate.


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## Steerpike

Bubba Ho-Tep is a good movie   A nice adaptation of Joe Lansdale's story.


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## Yellow

I thought it was rather terrible, although funny in a terrible way. But hey, to each his own right? I'll check out the book sometime though, out of curiosity.


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## Steerpike

Yellow said:


> I thought it was rather terrible, although funny in a terrible way. But hey, to each his own right? I'll check out the book sometime though, out of curiosity.



The story is a novella. It is well-written. I think Lansdale was nominated for a Bram Stoker Award for it, though I don't think he won (he's won it quite a few times for other stories).


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## teacup

Avatar: The Last Airbender - I absolutely loved the cartoon but the movie was just terrible, I couldn't bring myself to finish it. 

Son Of The Mask - A sequel to a Jim Carrey movie without Jim Carrey. It was hardly even watchable.

I can't think of any others that were terrible. Probably just the spoofs like meet the spartans and epic movie.


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## Meyer

There are three movies that I have started and refused to finish.

Me, Myself, and Irene
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, part 1
The Thing (Carpenter version) (I was 8, too much for me that it was)


I wouldn't call any of those 'terrible' though.  There are much worse movies out there.


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## Ireth

I'm curious, Meyer, what did you find "unfinishable" about The Hobbit?


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## Chilari

Constraining myself only to fantasy, I'd have to say the worst were:

5. The 2003 *The Hulk *movie (superhero movies are fantasy... ish). The comic panel layout made it impossible to keep up with what was going on, and it just wasn't that good. First film I nearly walked out of the cinema for; if I'd actually paid for it, I would have, but my parents had and I was with my siblings at the time.

4. *Guinevere*. It's on Netflix, I was bored. It inspired me to write a blog post about really bad fantasy movies. It tries so hard to be feminist and it comes through so transparently, but really, the male characters are presented rather misandrously, while the female characters have only marginally more depth and the plot is really hard to follow. Also the dialogue is so incredible stilted. You know that advice about dialogue where if you want it to sound natural, characters ignore one another, talk across one another, try to turn conversation towards their own agendas and so on, rather than having dialogue serve the plot only, and not character development etc? This film does the opposite. Every line is intended to lead the plot forward and educate the audience with no consideration for what the characters want to achieve or how they would really react to a particular piece of information.

3. *Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2*. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about and knew someone who had nobody else to see it with. I'd have regretted it if it didn't make my blog some content (I did a post about bad vampire movies). It was slow, dull, featured a huge cast of characters named once, had a massive fight scene which looked cool but actually never even happened, and was resolved with not one but two bouts of deus ex machina.

2. *10,000BC*. Awful awful awful film. The creators lack any understanding of geography, history or human civilisation. Characters are flat, rule of cool trumps everything at the cost of logic, historical research, plot and characterisation. Story was standard "rescue the princess" nonsense with a bit of ancient Egyptian pseudohistory mixed in. Oh and a sabre-toothed tiger which acted against biological impulse.

1. *Bloodrayne*. It's a Uwe Boll film. Enough said. It also made my worst vampire movies blog post, as the worst of the lot. The notes I made while watching it were extensive, because there was a lot wrong with it; only about a third of this made it to my blog post, which was longer than I wanted it to be.


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## OGone

10,000 BC (2008).
Boring... stupid...

House of the Dead (2003).
We bought this on box-office and admittedly it was so hilariously bad me and my friend sat there laughing a long time after the end credits had rolled. 

The Fourth Kind (2009).
Went to cinema and fell asleep.

The Happening (2008).





Last spot was hard. Could've gone to a handful of Nicholas Cage movies.

Monsters (2010).
Awful film again demonstrating critics get a wet one over indie films they probably haven't even watched. It had absolutely amazing reviews which made the fact it was a total slough to survive through even worse. A film where nothing and I mean *NOTHING* happens.


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## Aidan of the tavern

I wouldn't call The Phantom Menace the worst movie, but I would call it the biggest fall from grace/disappointment/worst prequel.  

As for bad films I found _Spaceballs_ to be lame, weak, and only vaguely amusing in how awful it was.

_Starship Troopers_ was also hilariously crap, one of those films you come away from thinking "oh dear".  

One of the Escapes, I can't remember if it was L.A. or New York, I didn't even stay in the room much longer than 25 minutes.


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## Steerpike

I liked Starship Troopers. Of course, it was meant to be satirical and funny, not serious. Escape From NY wasn't bad. Escape From LA was terrible.


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## Chilari

OGone said:


> Could've gone to a handful of Nicholas Cage movies.



So true. I was visiting friends at the weekend and we watched both Ghostrider movies and got horrifically drunk (well, I got tipsy, I never drink much, but the others got plastered). The next morning afternoon, my friend Ben asked "was it just the alcohol, or was the second one really awful?" I told him it really was that bad. While we were watching I kept picking on things that were stupid (we all did, but I was worst; we always do this on drunk movie nights), and he kept replying "because **** you, that's why" (he was so drunk) but in truth, there weren't any explanations in the movie that were better. It wasn't even consistent with the first one. It was just terrible.


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## OGone

Aidan of the tavern said:


> _Starship Troopers_ was also hilariously crap, one of those films you come away from thinking "oh dear".



I really liked Starship Troopers haha. It's exactly what it's meant to be, I think. It is a real marmite flick though, either like it or hate it. Can't say the same about the sequels...





Chilari said:


> So true. I was visiting friends at the weekend and we watched both Ghostrider movies and got horrifically drunk (well, I got tipsy, I never drink much, but the others got plastered). The next morning afternoon, my friend Ben asked "was it just the alcohol, or was the second one really awful?" I told him it really was that bad. While we were watching I kept picking on things that were stupid (we all did, but I was worst; we always do this on drunk movie nights), and he kept replying "because **** you, that's why" (he was so drunk) but in truth, there weren't any explanations in the movie that were better. It wasn't even consistent with the first one. It was just terrible.



First Ghostrider was absolutely awful and Nicholas Cage, as an actor, is simply not intimidating or cool at all and should not be portrayed as this ultimate badass that most of his roles are meant to be. I never even watched the second Ghostrider and really don't want to - I wasn't a big fan of the comics anyway. I don't dislike the man personally, I just think he's awful as an actor.

Actually, I don't even know if it's him or just the fact he only appears in awful films.

The absolute epitome of his awfulness was The Wickerman in which I think he may punch or roundhouse kick about six different women.  The video below is from a *horror* film 






Edit: He was good in Kick-Ass though.


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## Aidan of the tavern

Batman and Robin was a real disaster of lameness and cheesiness, but in a funny way.


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## tlbodine

Man, Starship Troopers is one of my favorite movies of all time.  Somehow, I don't own it, but every time I catch it on TV, I have to watch it.  I once called into work because Starship Troopers was on TV and I didn't want to leave without finishing it.  

The Ghostrider movies were really terrible, though.  Especially the second one, which made absolutely no sense in addition to all of its other (numerous) flaws.  Also 10,000 BC incites a strange level of rage in me.  Once I get started there, I can't stop.  

Oh, another awful movie. The 2011 Conan the Barbarian.


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## CupofJoe

Any film in the last 10 years with the word "Transformers" in the title. I have regrettably seen two of them but I'm willing to assign the rest without viewing...


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## Chilari

Yeah, the Transformers movies were big-budget rubbish. But that's what you get when Michael Bay directs. Explosions and special effects and no substance.


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## ALB2012

I agree with transformers and the remake of War of the Worlds. There was a snow white adaptation as well, but not sure which (Not Mirror Mirror I liked that.) The elf "army" they recruited looked like the local larpers and even the bad guy army was about 20 people tops.

Indiana Jones and the Cavern of the Zimmer frame, er Crystal Skull. I loved the other Indy films but that one was shite.

The ending of Revenge of the Sith. I am sorry but if you are fighting on a planet of lava which can melt metal you are toast, your lungs are toast even before you pull out that lightsabre. I don't care if you are a jedi. You are so much toast.

The second and third Tobey Maquire Spiderman films. 

Oh and Twilight, haven't seen them can't bring myself to do so. VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE.


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## kayd_mon

Spider-Man 3, Superman Returns, Fast and Furious (the last one, and also the only one I've seen), Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. That last one I really liked as a kid, but I watched it again a few years ago, and it's embarrassingly bad. 

I don't rank the Star Wars prequels on a "worst ever" list, just "bigggest disappointments." I had this debate with a few friends recently. Episode 3 is good. Not great, but solid. Episode 2 is a steaming turd, made watchable if you only pay attention to Ewan MacGregor's scenes and the final battle sequence at the end. Also, Dooku vs. Yoda helps. Episode 1 isn't nearly as bad as its reputation, and it is easily better than Episode 2. It also contains the second best lightsaber battle in the whole series (to date). 

The Hobbit was mentioned here, but I don't think that's fair. It wasn't quite as good as Lord of the Rings, and stretching it beyond one movie was a terribleidea and leads to ttremendous pacing issues, but it's still well-made and well-acted.


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## Aidan of the tavern

Die Another Day was a really weak film, way too over the top.  The third X-Men film wasn't too bad, just a really predictable big fight, so it didn't really thrill me.


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## Steerpike

A lot of these movies weren't great, but to be honest, if you have any movie that went out in mainstream distribution on your list, it means you haven't seen some of the really, really bad movies that exist. Get on Netflix and start watching some of the crap that never even made it to theatrical release. Then the real 'five worst movies' list would probably be filled with stuff no one else has ever even heard of


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## kayd_mon

@steerpike

You are absolutely right. I would say my list is "the five worst movies that I foolishly chose to see and were considered good enough to screen nationally." haha

I have seen some of straight-to-video (or nertflix) movies that were really bad, but that's almost expected.


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## CupofJoe

I've always wanted to see "Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus" or any of the "Mega Shark Versus" franchise [Yes there is more than one of them]. It sounds so bad that it might be worth watching...


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## brokethepoint

The worst mainstream movie that I have seen is Forrest Gump.


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## Nobby

You missed AvP Requiem!?!

Die thirty-year-old slasher pic teen victims die!

Like the thirty year old plot, and the (supposedly) top rank sfx team. Hey, lets's shoot everything in the dark! I't's scaaaary!

Personally I didn't care whether the Aliens or the Predator won, I just wanted the hollow-wood cast to die!

And don't get me started on Battleship...


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## Nobby

ooops double post


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## Reaver

Thanks to everyone who posted! I value your opinions and input.  Is it just me or have there been a lot of really crappy movies basically pooped out some production company and thrown into theaters? Like the movie Zookeeper starring the occasionally funny Kevin James...

It's like the people cranking out these movies don't give a damn about substance or good characters...only about trying to make as much money as possible.

Sorry for the rant folks! Keep the lists coming!!


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## Garren Jacobsen

I don't know what it is but I love My Cousin Vinny. My favorite part is the grits questioning scene. 

Anywho, as far as 5 worst I would say Popeye (although I watch it because its terrible), Avatar the Last Airbender, Shrek 3, Attack of the Clones, Breaking Dawn Part II (haven't watched the others and I fell asleep while reading a book during this movie).


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## Lancelot

The only movie I have ever walked out on in a theater was "Punch-Drunk Love" so I will list that here. NOTE: I don't have a problem watching a serious film from a comedian. This film was just awful. 

There are many others that are bad, but I generally avoid them since I can tell from the trailer or the cast/crew involved. It is rare that I can verify a terrible movie by watching it.


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## SeverinR

Age of hobbits-rip off of Tolkiens hobbitzes, using no acting midgets.
-So many bad ones hard to list them.


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## Rhizanthella

I may get hated on but I just don't understand how people can be obsessed with these two movies!
 1) the Nightmare before Christmas 
2) Bambi
Now, I watched both of them with an open mind, but with Bambi, even my little brother couldn't see any reason to grow attached to the story or characters.
With the Nightmare Before Christmas, I never gained an interest in the characters or the plot. The world and portals could have been done far better. I kept wondering when they would use the other doors to the other worlds. What's the big deal??
-rant over-


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## Rhizanthella

Oh, didn't even think to put Twilight on my list. Liked the books. Hate the movies.
Also, Hamlet. I dispise most of Shakespears tragedies. I end up rooting for the MC to die, and soon.


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## CupofJoe

Rhizanthella said:


> Also, Hamlet. I dispise most of Shakespears tragedies. I end up rooting for the MC to die, and soon.


They don't usually make good movies [one notable exception is Kurosawa Throne of Blood ] but see good actors on stage giving it their all and Shakespeare can sing, fly and do all manner of wonderful things.
But I guess I'm lucky living in the UK and able to see several productions in the last few years....
As for Bambi - You have no heart - I was moved to tears when I first saw it at the age of 25...


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## Aklian

1.Hunger Games
2.Expendables 1 2
3.G I Jeos 1 2
4.Iron man 1 2 3
5.Twilight series


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## Jess A

Speaking of Nicholas Cage... _Season of the Witch_ springs to mind. What a stupid film.


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## Ireth

Jess A said:


> Speaking of Nicholas Cage... _Season of the Witch_ springs to mind. What a stupid film.



Never seen that, but I do remember hating the remake of _The Wicker Man_.


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## Jess A

After a wasted 2 hours of my life, I must add the film adaptation of Kate Mosse's _Labyrinth_. Its only saving grace was John Hurt.


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## A. E. Lowan

After last night, totally adding _Snow White and the Huntsman_.  I hate Kristin Stewart, but Chris Hemsworth is yummy, so I thought, what the heck, effects look good?  Gah!  Bad writing, bad acting (by everyone but Hemsworth)... they take a great plot point that could have carried tension through most of the movie and throw it out after 5 minutes.  5 minutes!

Yeah, I turned it off.  *sigh*


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## LadyCass

One Day... Horrible, horrible ending. It's normal to cry that hard during a movie.

Odd how hard it was to answer this question. I'm always making lists of my favorite movies.


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## C Hollis

1.  Life of Pi
2.  Life of Pi
3.  Life of Pi
4.  Life of Pi
5.  Life of Pi


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## Regrix

Hmm...

5: Dungeons & Dragons...  the one done on Sci-Fi was much better.
4: Wing Commander...  Projectile weapons in space?  really??
3: Ishtar...  Why oh why did I ever watch this pile of Shtako?
2: Treasure of the 4 Crowns...  
1: ANYTHING with Kristin Stewart in it.

Now, I didn't mind the Star Wars prequels... I could have done without Jar Jar... but aside of him they were actually worthy additions to the Universe.   Some of the casting could have been better, I mean a California redwood could have acted circles around Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christiensen combined.  In the arena scene in Episode II, Natalie over acted a fair piece too.

Ewan though... pure awesome as Obi Wan. Sam Jackson... Liam Neeson... all excellent... but as I noted above there were some (not many) but some drawbacks.

While it wasn't released in the theater Highlander: The Source had me wishing I COULD get my money back. Highlander II was Oscar worthy in comparison.


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## Rhizanthella

Aw... I liked life of Pi...


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## Jess A

Regrix said:


> I could have done without Jar Jar... .



Don't get me wrong, I'm not a violent person. But I wanted to run Jar Jar Binx over several times with a train.


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## Scribble

5. After Earth

4. Prometheus

3. Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

2. Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

1. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace


Star Wars prequels. 6+ hours of people sitting on sofas discussing politics interspersed with emotionally empty spastic combat sequences. There's a reason that The Lord of the Rings was made into a movie, and The Silmarillion was not. Reading LOTR is an emotional ride, we are carried along by the struggles of Frodo and Sam and we care. Reading the Silmarillion is sort of... "Oh, neat. Melkor. Hmm... oh so that's where the elves came from. Nifty. We don't really care."

Yoda explaining the force > Qui-gon explaining the force. Meticlorids. WTF.

Prometheus... there is so much that is just plain dumb here, I can't begin to tell it all. Science undergrads would have given their time _free_ to consult on the science accuracy on this movie. You wouldn't have had to pay them, or even given a credit. There _are _people who understand science and they will go see your movie. Gah.


After Earth... 

I wrote a little review in another incarnation, 

*After Earth Review* SPOILERS

After Earth, starring Jaden and Will Smith is a visually attractive science fantasy film with plenty of action. Unfortunately, the action was not enough to carry what was a highly contrived story that left me asking questions, and the questions had no good answers.

Will Smith's character Cypher Raige is a hard-ass general in some futuristic Earth colony where they fight blind alien predator creatures who smell fear by sniffing human pheromones. The upshot is that if you have no fear, you are invisible to them. That's kind of cool, a bit of a stretch, but I'll buy it.

They train to be these super hard-assed rangers who have no fear. They fight using some kind of of futuristic weapon that generates any number of super-sharp carbon blades. Maybe it's made with carbon nanotubes? I hear they can do anything. What about something that shoots, like a laser? Humanity succeeded in large part because it learned to kill things that are far away. Nevermind.

Cypher Raige (what a cool name...) has been busy kicking alien ass and he comes home to find his son, training really hard to impress him, but full of young man rage and resentment towards his dad for being absent. After a scene where he gives his wife a marble...? she chides him, resulting in his decision to bring his son on his next mission. He claims he intends to retire after this one so he can spend more time with his family. This guy is so awesome, if only he can connect with his son. This might be their chance. I felt kind of happy for the son at that point. It really is a nice relationship they have, if only it were more believable.

The problems begin early on. There are some massively obvious setups for future emotional tugs that they lose all their their emotional charge.

Through a set unfortunate space travel circumstances they accidentally get stuck in an asteroid field, bust up the ship, that happens to have one of the human hunter monsters on board (for training purposes), and they end up on old Earth that was evacuated. They crash land on Earth. 

Now, for some unexplained reason, the Earth animals have evolved to hunt humans, who haven't been there for a really long time because the air is now hard to breathe...? Okay. The only two survivors are General Cypher, his son, and apparently the human killing, fear smelling monster. I started to smell something at this point in the movie, and it wasn't fear.

So, Cypher's leg is broken, and the beacon to call for help is busted, but there's another in the tail of the ship, which is 4 days travel there and back, and they have exactly 4 days of "Earth atmosphere breathing capsules they drink"... It's so contrived it starts to hurt your brain.

So, young Kitai Raige sets out, and luckily they have some video surveillance bots, that nobody ever sees, his dad at the crashed head of the spaceship can see what his son is doing. Why didn't they have any that could go and get the beacon? Those would be very handy robots to have. Anyways...

It just goes from bad to worse. Young Kitai escapes killer monkeys and then a giant eagle. He tries to save the eagle's 12 or so hatchlings from tree climbing super lions, and that's when he makes a friend.

Now for some unexplained reason, the Earth goes super freezing every night at sundown. Yet, the plants survive and all the animals too. We must assume they all burrow. Young Kitai gets stuck outside and almost freezes, but luckily his bird friend comes and rescues him, makes a nest and puts the near-frozen Kitai inside and then sacrifices itself to keep him warm, so he can get to the tail of the spaceship. Kitai gives the dead giant eagle a pat to thank it for saving him.

I have to stop from the dumbness of this movie to ask a few little questions that cropped up.

How long have people been away from earth? They said it was like 1000 years. Not nearly enough time for animals to evolve like this.
What could cause the Earth to get so cold at night? It looks like they are in the rain forest, and okay, the leaves curl up a bit... but what causes it? Is the Earth in a strange wobble now? Is the night so long that it gets that cold? But no, it seems like regular time. Maybe something to do with the air change - that humans can't breathe well but the animals can...maybe humans borked something up? But wouldn't other mammals die? Or maybe humans were bio-engineered to survive on the new planet which made breathing on the old planet difficult? I dunno.

How did all the species of Earth "evolve to kill humans"? 
Did the enemy aliens do that? 
If humans have been away for so long, how did all the animals remember that they were evolved to hunt humans? 
Did anyone writing this movie understand _anything _about evolution?

It just goes on. I won't ruin the end, but it doesn't matter because you can always see it coming. 

The action was good. It was tense.

The visuals were good. Too good. At one point Kitai enters a cave, and there are lovely lava rivers flowing here, and a forest of giant crystals there. Very lovely. The gadgets were okay.

The beacon, what they were looking for, is more than a radio beacon. It shoots a bolt of light like Tron talking to the user, out into space, like a light from God himself. Quite a nice design for an emergency beacon. If you were ever trapped on a planet, you'd want a spectacular light show. Where the energy comes from, it isn't clear. 

Emotionally two-dimensional. Nice gadgets, the weapon thingy? Did I already mention that?

It was bad. Very, very bad. 1 star out of 5.


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## Regrix

Life of Pi... hmm, though he only lived a scant 3.14 years it seemed to go on forever...


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## thedarknessrising

-RIPD

-I, Frankenstein

-Batman and Robin

- Sharknado (So bad it's great XD)

-X-Men First Class


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## Gryphos

thedarknessrising said:


> -RIPD
> 
> -I, Frankenstein
> 
> -Batman and Robin
> 
> - Sharknado (So bad it's great XD)
> 
> -X-Men First Class



That last one's a bit out of left field. I thought the general consensus is that it was good.


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## acapes

_Birdemic _- easily.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzV8Q2fsN0o


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## thedarknessrising

Gryphos said:


> That last one's a bit out of left field. I thought the general consensus is that it was good.



I'm a major X-Men buff, and this one didn't line up with the first X-Men movie. There were lots of continuity errors.


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## psychotick

Hi,

My five worst?

Highlander Two, closely followed by Highlander Three - They would have been simply terrible movies in their own right if it wasn't for the fact that they followed Highlander - one of the best movies of all time. But it seemed to me that the director followed the age old recipe for ruining a film franchise - step one throw away the script from the first movie!

The Day the Earth Stopped - no not the day it stood still. I would call it B grade save that that is so unfair to many B grade movies. But one moment of joy in it - the lead actress looks a hell of a lot like Angelina Jolie and she gets naked for a bit!

RIPD - I struggled - I truly did - to work out what was wrong with this movie. Was it the poor acting? The piss poor writing? The plot holes? The really stupid special effects? And in the end I simply couldn't work it out. This film is a reverse gestalt. Under gestalt theory the whole is more than the sum of its parts. In this case it's less. So much less, and the parts were bad to begin with.

Hancock - OMG! Talk about a schizophrenic film. The first half is absolutely brilliant. Funny, enjoyable, it really sparkles. And then comes the second half where everything that was is swept away and you end up with this completely gross non superhero movie where the wit, sparkle, superhero special effects and everything else is gone and you end up with a boring slasher movie without even tension.

Twilight - Not for any reason other than the fact that some stinker marketed this thing as a vampire movie. It's not. And inflicting this teenage chick flick upon my red neck sensibilities is cruel and unusual. I only watched about half of it until the true horror dawned on me - the pretty boy vampire wasn't going to tear her throat out. No one was going to stake him. At that point nausea overcame me.

Cheers, Greg.


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## Guy

psychotick said:


> Twilight - Not for any reason other than the fact that some stinker marketed this thing as a vampire movie. It's not. And inflicting this teenage chick flick upon my red neck sensibilities is cruel and unusual. I only watched about half of it until the true horror dawned on me - the pretty boy vampire wasn't going to tear her throat out. No one was going to stake him. At that point nausea overcame me.
> 
> Cheers, Greg.


LOL! Yeah, when my oldest daughter was 13 I took her to see it. My first issue was, "What, no fangs? What kind of vampire doesn't have fangs?!" Then he stepped into the light to show her his nature and I'm all keyed up to see him unfold all his demonic glory. Instead, he... glitters. What the hell?! Fortunately, by the time the next movie came out my daughter was over it and I didn't have to see the others. She told me about the books, and I've got to say if I'd read them the ending would've left me absolutely livid.


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## Guy

As for worst movie, pick any five SciFi original movies and there you go.


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