# Beginner's Guide To Writing Descriptions



## Svrtnsse (Feb 9, 2015)

Now and then I see questions and comments about descriptions, how to write them, and what to include and when.

Since work is really slow today, I decided I should put together a beginner’s guide with some general tips and advice that work for me. 

What I’m writing below is based on personal experiences and opinions. These aren’t rules and you don’t need to follow them. There are exceptions to everything, and there are special cases where going against what I suggest may be the right thing to do. 


*First things first*
Before talking about how to describe things, I’d like to comment a little on how we perceive things. How do we see the things we see? 

I’m sure you’ve all heard the expression “first impressions last”. You generally hear it said about people as an encouragement to present yourself well when meeting others, but there’s more to it than that.

Your first impression of something is formed very quickly, and once it’s formed it takes both time and effort to change it. This is why it’s so important to get the first impression right. If your reader gets their first impression of something wrong and they are forced to change it later, it will break their immersion and throw them out of the story — which is bad.

_How long do you have to establish a first impression?_

In real life, you form your first impression of someone within a few seconds of meeting that person. I haven’t seen any numbers for how this translates to text, but I have a feeling that you’ll have about one paragraph — two, if they’re short. 

_Go with your gut feeling, but don’t ramble on too long._


*What to start with*
Begin with the most important feature of what you’re describing. Usually this is something that stands out and which you would notice right away if you looked at it.

For example, if a house is on fire, mention that right away. Don’t wait until the hero runs inside to save the trapped children.

When describing people, I like to start with the things that I notice first when I see someone in real life: gender, skin/hair colour, size, age. I think these are fairly common for most people, but they’re probably not a solid rule. Go with what works for you and stick with it. If you for example pay attention to the colour of someone’s eyes, make sure to include that. If you do it naturally in real life, it’ll add authenticity if you do it in your writing as well.

You don’t necessarily have to start with the visual appearance of a person though. If they’re doing something interesting, or eye-catching, start with that. If a person comes running at you, screaming at the top of their lungs waving a burning monkey over their head, you do not stop to think about the cut of their shirt, or how well polished their shoes are.

Basically, start with what’s most important at the moment and then work your way towards less and less important details.


*What to include*
You should, of course, include as much relevant information as you deem necessary, but that’s kind of like saying “just do it right” and then leaving it at that — not very helpful.

When it comes to descriptions, your reader is likely to fill out any blank spaces on their own. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t leave any blank spaces, but that you should know what blank spaces you’re leaving — and then don’t fill them in later.

One way of determining whether something is a blank space is to picture yourself as an invisible observer of the scenes and events you are describing — sort of like the camera in a movie. 

If you see something in the scene and don’t describe it, then that thing will be a white space and the reader will fill that in themselves. If you don’t see something — even though you know it’s there — and don’t mention that it’s there, then that’s not a blank space for the reader to fill in and you can add to it later.

Let’s say you’re describing a small woman wearing a very large backpack. You describe the woman as short and blonde. She wears a white t-shirt and blue jeans. She carries a very large green backpack on her back — the kind you use to go camping.

As an observer of the woman, we’d also see a number of other things of her that aren’t included in the description and we’d fill them out on our own. For example, we don’t know if she’s wearing boots or sneakers, or if she’s barefoot.  We don’t know if she’s wearing a wrist watch or ear rings or any other jewellery. We don’t know if she has any scars and we don’t know if there are any holes on the knees of her jeans.

These are all blank spaces and by now you will have filled them out and have an opinion about what shoes she wears and whatnot. This means you can’t later describe these things, as you don’t know how the reader will have pictured them. 

What isn’t a blank space however is what’s in the backpack. It’s closed, and from where we’re standing we can’t see what’s in it. As the writer of the story we do know what’s in it, but for a casual observer it just looks like a big backpack, for hiking or something like that.

The backpack could contain hiking gear, or a big tent or a parachute. It could contain food, or explosives or gold. However, what the backpack really contains are her big leathery wings. She can’t hide them any other way, so she has them tucked away in the backpack to hide the fact that she’s a demon.

Then again, you could have told anyway, because she’s got big red horns sticking out of her brow and her eyes are smoking black holes.

_See what I did there?_

While reading, you were happily accepting that the little backpacking woman might be a demon hiding her wings, but then I added the horns and the hollow eyes and then you thought I was just being silly — right?
That’s because if you’d seen the woman in front of you, you’d have noticed right away that she had strange eyes and horns. Now, that wasn’t mentioned, so you assumed she wouldn’t have it (because why would you not mention something like that?) and you built your image of the woman on what you expect a regular short blond woman to be like (chances are she’s kind of pretty, but that’s a different topic of discussion).


*Final comments*
There’s more to descriptions than the above, but I think it’s a good starting point if you’re uncertain about how to make good descriptions. I’ll sum things up a bit:

First impressions last.
Start with the most important feature.
Include only that which can be seen.
Know your blank spaces and leave them blank.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
If there's something you disagree with, please let me know. Different points of view are good.


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## Philster401 (Feb 9, 2015)

Thank you this very helpful.


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## T.Allen.Smith (Feb 9, 2015)

I like your take on description.

There's a facet I'd add, which I believe is necessary for great description:

1) Description should do more than describe.

Description is a powerful tool for creating tone and conveying mood. Good description can reveal character by what someone looks like, but also through what they notice & how they perceive (if they're a PoV). Great description can foreshadow in subtle ways... 

I could go on for awhile about the potential power of description. That's especially true if we delve into metaphor & simile use. Point being, great description effects the reader on multiple levels, it performs extra duty beyond mere description, sometimes in ways the reader doesn't consciously realize.


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## Svrtnsse (Feb 9, 2015)

T.Allen.Smith said:


> 1) Description should do more than describe.



This is a good point, and one I completely forgot about.

There will most likely be other quiet days, and I'll get the opportunity to write a post with slightly more advanced advice on the topic. I'll make sure to include this then.

...it'll also give me time to think it through a bit and come up with some good examples.


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## Penpilot (Feb 10, 2015)

Svrtnsse said:


> Basically, start with what’s most important at the moment and then work your way towards less and less important details.



I'd like to add to this part. POV plays a huge part in description too. It colors how things are described and it determines what's most important at any one moment. 

For example. Let's say your main character enter's a tavern.

If the story is told from the POV of a thief, then the first thing they notice is the fat lord sitting at the bar carrying pouch full of gold. The lord may get described as as a mark and the serving ladies may be described as wenches. 

If the story is told from the POV of a grizzled soldier fresh from battle, then the first thing they may notice is how many exits are in the tavern and if there are bars on the windows. They may notice the lord drinking at the bar and describe them as a high born coward and call the serving ladies bringers of liquid comfort.

Yes, start with what's most important, but what's most important is determined by your POV character.

With the example of the fire, the fire may be the most important thing at that moment if that part of the story is told from the POV of a fire fighter or maybe a neutral bystander. BUT, if the POV is that of a worried father, the most important thing at that moment will be his daughter lying on the ground being administered CPR. In the father's case, the fire for the most part is unimportant, that is unless they suddenly hear their wife screaming from inside the burning house at which point focus shifts and the fire becomes very important.


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## wordwalker (Feb 10, 2015)

Svrtnsse, I spend part of each day reading writing blogs and slowly adding to my collection of recommended writing guides. This is one of the best pieces on description I've seen in a while, and it's going straight into my Frequently Tweeted Tips file.


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## Svrtnsse (Feb 10, 2015)

wordwalker said:


> Svrtnsse, I spend part of each day reading writing blogs and slowly adding to my collection of recommended writing guides. This is one of the best pieces on description I've seen in a while, and it's going straight into my Frequently Tweeted Tips file.



Thanks for saying. Much appreciated. I'm glad you liked it.


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## Letharg (Feb 12, 2015)

Thanks for some great advice, it would make an excellent article on the front page.


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## Svrtnsse (Feb 12, 2015)

Letharg said:


> Thanks for some great advice, it would make an excellent article on the front page.



Thanks. I'm going to try and incorporate some of the suggestions from TAS and Penpilot and then submit it.


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## Trick (Feb 13, 2015)

Great post. TAS's and Penpilot's observations included. Penpilot generally hit on the same point I thought of while reading and I thought I'd ask about the more specific thing that came to mind. 

Considering POV, can giving description out of order work to surprise a reader in a good way? When you told us about the woman's horns and demon eyes I could take it one of two ways: either you should have mentioned those very important details right away or... you were being snarky, which I liked and a POV character may also be. For instance:


~ A tall man approached me from the dark alley. Some would say very tall, but not me. His long hair draped over the collar of his coat, nearly as dark as the shadows around it. When I saw the knife, I started to sweat. Not just because I thought he might cut me... he was holding out a child's head, leaking blood onto the street cobbles, and that blade looked awfully dull. ~


That example isn't all that good but am I right that this technique, if used well (better than I used it, anyway) can work in the right circumstances?


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## Svrtnsse (Feb 13, 2015)

Trick said:


> ~ A tall man approached me from the dark alley. Some would say very tall, but not me. His long hair draped over the collar of his coat, nearly as dark as the shadows around it. When I saw the knife, I started to sweat. Not just because I thought he might cut me... he was holding out a child's head, leaking blood onto the street cobbles, and that blade looked awfully dull. ~



I think that in this specific case it sort of works - because you're still building up the first impression of the character. You're also doing it in an order that makes sense naturally when meeting a new person. 
When a stranger approaches you, it's natural to look at their face first, to try and determine if they're hostile/friendly - to see what their intentions are. Once you've done that, you take in the rest of the person, and since your eyes are already at head level, it's natural to spot the hair. You then move on to the rest of the character and you see the knife and the child's head.

What's not working is that you're spotting the knife before the child's head. If he's holding out the head in one hand, that's more visible than a knife he's holding in a hand that's just hanging down by the side of his body. 
You could get around that by adding the object in his hand earlier: 


> A tall man approached me from the dark alley, holding out an object in his hand towards me.


Now we know that he's holding something out, but we don't know what. This gives you some time to describe other features first and then return to the object (the head).

You're also leaving out the man's face completely. My personal impression is that he's wearing a hat and that in the darkness of the alley his face is covered in shadows. It's probably a top-hat and the man's probably fairly well dressed. He's wearing a coat and the coat has a collar. His hair is also _draped _over the collar. The word drape here hints at some kind of elegance. The hair doesn't just fall down his back, it's actually draped - and it gets me thinking of long, straight, hair - not curly or messy.


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## Svrtnsse (Feb 13, 2015)

Trick said:


> When you told us about the woman's horns and demon eyes I could take it one of two ways: either you should have mentioned those very important details right away or... you were being snarky, which I liked and a POV character may also be.



I did that as a way to exemplify how jarring it can be when you add important character details too long after the character is introduced.

You probably can do the snarky thing with your POV character if you want - but you'll have to somehow establish that this kind of thing can and will happen in the story. If you don't do that, and do it early on, then I think you'll run the risk of annoying or alienating the reader more than entertaining them.


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## spectre (Feb 13, 2015)

I think the important thing in creating a description is that you do more than describe the situation or environment. Supercede a two dimensional depiction by using words that will create superciliary reaction in the reader. For instance, you might be describing a time when your character is 'leaning back in a chair at the tavern' but you should make sure you liven up your description so that the character is 'tottering back on a solid oak chair in the oldest tavern in town, balancing thoughts on a situation and both the liquor in his belly and the wafting smells of cooking meats make this the perfect place to do that'.

The human response to words isn't only to visualize them, but we react to them in emotional and physical ways as well and the more substance you can give to an object through compliment the more interesting your work becomes.

For me, the more descriptive sentence above first stirs my posture as I read, feeling like I'm leaning back in a chair trying to balance it on two legs and I can feel solid wood beneath me in an environment that has not only the applause that comes with being in a meeting place like a tavern but also a sense of history to it which depending on the next sentences might be expanded on as part of the 'situation' the character is in or with different complimentary word use can place a sense of age on the environment and age is always appealing to the senses as you might imagine walking through the roman coliseum or a freshly built modern flat. I can feel maybe a humid air in the tavern carrying smoky or tasty smells and feel my mind spin a little from the inebriation of alcohol as well as the sentence makes clear that the emotional state of the individual is content. At the same time the word situation for me piques my mind so that I'm thinking there is some kind of problem that maybe the person is trying to find a solution to, and so making the character content at the same time marks a certain amount of confusion or mystery on the reader so they may begin to create ideas of what kind of situation could a person be content on while actively considering it? Is this person drinking out of stress or to lighten the load of a hard day's work? That consideration is made according to your audience as well so you have to tailor your descriptions to be appropriate to your market.

It's important to create this kind of dimension and here I used only a few of the available options:

-time (either historical time, reaction time, or time of day, age, maybe there are others)
-personal state (physical, mental, or emotional)
-appeal to the senses (smell, touch, vision.. is the smoke acrid? is light ample or low?..)
-objectional states (particular to emotional states it's important to effectively utilize this because it shows a person's real mind state, it isn't the same thing as POV)

Lastly I was taught that POV should remain constant in a story, and from a narrative point of view that could be true but I like to suddenly change the point of view so that readers switch from staring at an omniscient explanation to a zoom in on the words I've used in my description. 
The scene is bla bla but at this moment, the time is now or there was a time when. For me it's tricky to actually describe effective use of POV (afterall I'm not a teacher or professional writer yet).


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## Trick (Feb 13, 2015)

Svrtnsse said:


> I think that in this specific case it sort of works - because you're still building up the first impression of the character. You're also doing it in an order that makes sense naturally when meeting a new person.



Because my example was winged and not very good, I don't think it conveyed what I mean. Basically, the POV character noticed the child's head right away but told the reader about it last, if for no other reason than shock value. Is this an acceptable technique or do you think you'll lose more readers than necessary?



Svrtnsse said:


> When a stranger approaches you, it's natural to look at their face first, to try and determine if they're hostile/friendly - to see what their intentions are. Once you've done that, you take in the rest of the person, and since your eyes are already at head level, it's natural to spot the hair. You then move on to the rest of the character and you see the knife and the child's head.
> 
> What's not working is that you're spotting the knife before the child's head. If he's holding out the head in one hand, that's more visible than a knife he's holding in a hand that's just hanging down by the side of his body.
> You could get around that by adding the object in his hand earlier:
> ...



I see your point about the knife, would this fix it?

~ A tall man stood in the dark alley. Some would say very tall, but not me. His long hair draped over the collar of his coat, nearly as dark as the shadows around it. He pulled out a knife and I started to sweat. Not just because I thought he might cut me... he was holding out a child's head, leaking blood onto the street cobbles, and that blade looked awfully dull. ~



Svrtnsse said:


> You're also leaving out the man's face completely. My personal impression is that he's wearing a hat and that in the darkness of the alley his face is covered in shadows. It's probably a top-hat and the man's probably fairly well dressed. He's wearing a coat and the coat has a collar. His hair is also _draped _over the collar. The word drape here hints at some kind of elegance. The hair doesn't just fall down his back, it's actually draped - and it gets me thinking of long, straight, hair - not curly or messy.



I did imagine his face in shadow so I'm glad that came across, although the hat is neither here nor there. I don't think that sort of inference would cause a problem in this type of instance but it's good to know that was the impression because I can use it to my advantage in future writing. I did imagine long, straight hair and probably a Victorian style of dress similar to what the description conjured in your mind so, at least that worked.


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## pmmg (Oct 5, 2022)

Excellent post, thx Svrtnsse


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