# Affectionate greetings between people of varying height.



## Svrtnsse (Dec 6, 2013)

I really should be sleeping, but something came to mind...

In modern day it's not uncommon to greet others, especially if you know them well, with a hug or with a kiss on the cheek or something equivalent. It's a friendly, affectionate and socially acceptable thing; the kind of thing you see famous and successful people do on TV. It doesn't actually mean anything, but it's the done thing - I'm sure you know what I mean.

For the most part this works fine. It can be a little bit awkward when someone is very short and someone else is a bit on the tall side, but overall it works fine. Most humans are of roughly the same height.

Enter the Anfylk.
Anfylk is a race in my setting I'm working with and for the purpose of this thread and question you can think of them as hobbits - they're short humans.

They can greet each other in the same way humans do - hugs and kisses on the cheek and all that. The issue arises when a fylk (singular anfylk) greets a human under the same conditions. It becomes awkward. The fylk is a bit too short to reach even if they stand on toes and the human is little too tall and while have to stoop uncomfortably low.

So what's an acceptable form of greeting equivalent to a hug or to a kiss on the cheek between a human and a fylk?

You could potentially ignore the awkwardness and just go with the hugs and kisses, but I'd say that after having coexisted for hundreds of years a better option would have evolved.
I'm thinking that some sort of handshaking would be the most natural option. Perhaps a kiss on the finger/ring - although that kind of establishes some kind of master/servant relation which may not be appropriate.

Did anyone else consider this or do you know somewhere it's been dealt with?
If not, what are your spontaneous thoughts on the matter?


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## buyjupiter (Dec 7, 2013)

A salute, a bow/curtsy, fist bumping all come to mind.

I could imagine a great deal of conflict resulting from the first few generations of societal intermingling, if a human picked up an anfylk and hugged and kissed them like a child.

"Put me down! I said put me down!" *Anfylk kicking and scrabbling to get down*


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## CupofJoe (Dec 7, 2013)

Hugs to waist and head are not uncommon where there is a height differential from what I know.
I worked for a while with someone of very diminished stature. She would think nothing of hugging people even if she could only reach their waist area. I had the choices of not hugging her [and I'm not that rude] or hugging down over her head/back. It felt a little odd at first but became normal quickly. It also felt strangely intimate if you think about the logistics.


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## wordwalker (Dec 7, 2013)

Or there's always:



> "Hi, man!"
> " 'lo, man!"


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## GeekDavid (Dec 7, 2013)

I'm with CupofJoe.


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## wordwalker (Dec 7, 2013)

Seriously, I'd agree with Joe. When you've actually _had_ a race that size around for centuries (presumably), customs find a way of deciding what's comfortable based on what sizes people really have. ("Put me down!" is amusing, but would you really treat a little person like that? Aside from total jerks, only if you had some combination of established friendship and being relieved/delighted/etc to see him; that's the background for a lot of movie moments that look a little like that.)

At the same time, consider everyone's input on how those customs developed. In some worlds a short race might be so nervous about letting big folk get their hands on them that everyone knew they're the one people you don't hug. In another they might be so informal they'd hug anyone on sight, and kind of enjoy being treated as someone to protect (while they worked on making backroom deals, or picking pockets). Just see who'd react to what would react to what over the ages, until the customs settled.


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## Shockley (Dec 7, 2013)

Seems to me like it could be a source of some conflict between two characters, if you're delving a lot into interpersonal relationships.


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## skip.knox (Dec 7, 2013)

You have room here for some variation, just as among humans. There are formal and informal greetings, all appropriate to a time and place and circumstance. Formal could consist of greetings that did not involve touching. These might emphasize rank or merely lack of hostility. Informal greetings could be hugs, back slaps or whatever. 

It might be fun to come up with a wrinkle or two. Maybe instead of a handshake, touching wrists or touching upraised palms. More informally, just putting a hand on the other person. One sees this in Mediterranean countries all over the place. I've seen two people--gender doesn't seem to matter--riding bicycles with one having his hand on the other's arm.

Coming up with small intimacies (or formalities) that are distinctive is a good way to establish the other-ness of a non-human race, imo.


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## Svrtnsse (Dec 7, 2013)

Thanks everyone for the feedback and comments. I've got a few ideas that I think I can work with, including, but not limited to:
 - Hugging "down" / waist hug.
 - Various handshakes, double and single handed.
 - Bows and nods.
 - Touching arms/shoulders.

One gesture I'm currently partial to for the setting I currently have in mind involves pressing the other's hand against a part of the own body, most likely a cheek or a shoulder. Pressing the back of someone else's hand against your cheek is - or can be - a fairly intimate gesture that can bypass uncomfortable differences in stature.



It's well spotted that the greetings between beings of different heights can have a great impact on social interactions. If hugging down is social acceptable in one country, but not in another it can and will create uncomfortable situations for people who are not aware or aren't paying attention.

For reference, humans outnumber anfylk by quite a lot. The world is generally run by and for humans and the anfylk and elves can tag along as they want. For anfylk this means they, as a people, have to deal with all the issues short people deal with on a regular basis. Things are too big for them, stuff on the high shelf is lost forever, humans look down on you - things like that.
I'm thinking that when it comes to human-anfylk interaction height discrimination might be an issue and a sensitive topic. For example, it might be a mortal insult to pat someone on the head, even if affectionately.
Similarly, short humans may take great offense at being mistaken for anfylk (which can probably happen) and receive anfylk greetings.


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## GeekDavid (Dec 7, 2013)

You might also visit some websites or forums for the (ahem) "little people" and ask them what they think is appropriate. They live with a stature similar to your anfylk, they might be able to give you some insights.


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## Svrtnsse (Dec 7, 2013)

GeekDavid said:


> You might also visit some websites or forums for the (ahem) "little people" and ask them what they think is appropriate. They live with a stature similar to your anfylk, they might be able to give you some insights.



I actually did that here a while back when doing some related "research" on the topic. http://mythicscribes.com/forums/research/8815-everyday-life-among-vertically-challenged.html

I got a lot of pretty good responses on that too actually.


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## GeekDavid (Dec 7, 2013)

Svrtnsse said:


> I actually did that here a while back when doing some related "research" on the topic. http://mythicscribes.com/forums/research/8815-everyday-life-among-vertically-challenged.html
> 
> I got a lot of pretty good responses on that too actually.



Not here... I mean a website and/or forum specifically for "little people" (or whatever the politically correct term is today).


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## Svrtnsse (Dec 7, 2013)

GeekDavid said:


> Not here... I mean a website and/or forum specifically for "little people" (or whatever the politically correct term is today).



Aye, I got that. I'm more comfortable asking here and let people I'm "familiar" with share their experiences if they feel like it. I could go elsewhere and ask, but I got enough info from that thread I didn't really feel the need.


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## GeekDavid (Dec 7, 2013)

Svrtnsse said:


> Aye, I got that. I'm more comfortable asking here and let people I'm "familiar" with share their experiences if they feel like it. I could go elsewhere and ask, but I got enough info from that thread I didn't really feel the need.



I think it's wiser to ask the people that will identify most with the anfylk what their ideas are. You might actually gather some fans for presenting short people in a sympathetic light.


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