# Feeling Not Good Enough



## Chessie (Sep 12, 2016)

So...yeah, it's happened. I've hit a wall, a wall of fear and it's now impossible for me to work. It all started innocently enough by dusting off a short that I wanted to edit. 

The wave of stupid washed over me. Whoa, who wrote this crap? Yeah, uh, just who do I think I am trying to get stuff published? Oh, no. This story is terrible. Everything I write is terrible. All my ideas are shallow and should be drowned in a bucket of NOPE. 

I don't know. Maybe I'm trying to do too much at once. I've had to put aside my fantasy work to focus on this series that might not even sell reasonably. This is all just so stupid. My relatives think I'm going to fail. My friends have no idea what the hell I'm up to in my mountain fortress everyday. They can't get me out of the house if they tried...and they gave up long ago.

Sometimes I wonder how the heck I'm going to send my kid to college on a writers' salary. 

People probably laugh at my idea of a dream, which is signing books at Barnes & Noble but now they're going under and I'll probably never publish with an actual publishing house anyway. 

Did manage to find an affordable editor in my genre that came upon recommendation, but will she hate my work, too? I'm ready to hear the truth and want to, but what if she calls it crap splashed on a canvas? 

And it's not my prose that's the problem. I have no idea how my prose sounds to the world and have no way of knowing. What I'm talking about here is the fear of getting the structure down, of being a laughing stock: _this story is dumb! What five year old wrote this?_

I may not be good enough to publish stories. Learning how to construct them has a super steep learning curve I'm still climbing. I read these awesome books and know that they're weaving a tale impossible for me to match. But I've been doing this writing thing all my life...and I'm still not there.

Ugh. Bad morning.


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## cydare (Sep 12, 2016)

It seems that you've been keeping your work solely to yourself, and this editor is the first to see it. Have you considered sharing stories with beta readers in a more casual environment? Hearing what other people think with less pressure can help you boost your confidence up. I have the feeling your work is not nearly as bad as you feel right now. It can also help with any problems. Well asked questions can point you to weak parts in your writing, letting you fix any problems in your structure.

Keep in mind that you're your own worst critic. And keep in mind that there is no 'there' to get to. It's always up, and the more you practice, the better you'll get. And well, letting out thoughts like this is good! Better out than in where they can poison you.

There was this chart I saw a while back about artwork which I think works with writing too. It showed how both your creation skills and your skills in editing and observation increase with time. When your observations kills were higher than your creation skills, you saw your work as bad (even when it's actually good). It just means that you can spot even the most minor of faults more easily, and they glare out at you. You might have hit a point like that?


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## FifthView (Sep 12, 2016)

Chesterama said:


> And it's not my prose that's the problem. I have no idea how my prose sounds to the world and have no way of knowing. What I'm talking about here is the fear of getting the structure down, of being a laughing stock: _this story is dumb! What five year old wrote this?_
> 
> I may not be good enough to publish stories. Learning how to construct them has a super steep learning curve I'm still climbing. I read these awesome books and know that they're weaving a tale impossible for me to match. But I've been doing this writing thing all my life...and I'm still not there.



Maybe take a step back.  Pick one of those books you love and write a synopsis of each scene, divided into chapters, and see if you can detect a structure that is sensible to you.  Note the things that are important for each scene, what things are revealed and when, where the twists and turns happen, individual character arcs.

I've been contemplating doing that for _Dune_ and was on Amazon today looking for a cheap copy of the book.  (My old copy, read about 10 times when I was a teen, is missing.)

I've even considered trying to find a template of sorts, just a distillation of the structures that can serve as a sort of guide.

My problem is that I myself am not so structured, so methodical, so taking the time out to actually do this is not in my nature.  But I'm seriously considering doing it.


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## DragonOfTheAerie (Sep 12, 2016)

The everything-I-do-is-awful feeling seems to be an experience universal to all writers. At least, there's two of us. 

Writing is even harder when you feel like it's tied to your success and you're worried about your future. If it's not just a dream or a hobby but a job, a way of living, a future...if you might depend on it one day...that's really scary. I'm not even graduated from high school and I'm already scared that my books won't sell, that I won't be able to finish them, that I'll never be able to live off the money I make writing...The thought of spending my adult life stuck in a job I hate terrifies me. I mean, I can tell myself I don't care what people think, I can push through my anxiety by writing only for myself...but if I intend to make a living from writing, I CAN'T do that. I have so many frightening things to think about...editors, marketing, query letters...It's not just a matter of locking myself up in my room with my laptop and puking words into it. 

And, yeah. My mood swings are incredibly violent. I've completely panicked soon after posting everything I've put on Mythic Scribes so far and considered deleting it because it suddenly felt like the wool had been lifted from my eyes and I could see it in its horrifyingly bad reality and OH MY GOSH I SHOULDNT HAVE LET ANYONE SEE THIS, WHAT WAS I THINKING...

So...you aren't alone in feeling deluged by a wave of stupid every time you look at something you produced. I don't know how comforting it is that other people experience it. But, I can say this: Feelings lie. Anxiety lies. Fear lies. Your writing is never as bad as your fear tells you it is. Even when my writing is bad, it's never as bad as it seems to me. Your feelings are not an accurate measure of your worthiness to be a writer. (Heck, no one is "worthy" to be a writer. You don't have to be "worthy." If you write, you're a writer, period.) Also, I think us writers will always be WAY more critical of our own stuff than even the most critical readers will ever be. Readers mainly just want a good story. That's it. 

And even if some people DID hate your story and think it was written by a five year old...others would love and adore it. On Amazon or Goodreads there are good and bad reviews for any book. Every book has people who hate it and people who love it. Half the time it's not even about quality; sometimes a book works for you, sometimes it doesn't. 

Published authors have the same fears and struggles that we all do. They're just writers, aren't they...not some kind of metamorphosed, transcendent beings. Theyre not published because they're superior. They're published because they're stubborn. They didn't give up, whether because they believed in themselves or because not writing was a worse agony. (I'm the latter. Writing is painful, but not writing is much, much worse.) 

And, what is there to do, except keep writing? What if you didn't? Is that even concievable? You'll write someone's favorite book one day. You'll write the book that gives someone just enough strength to keep living through a hard time, or changes their life for the better in a small way, or just gives them temporary joy...and even if you could do that for just one person, would you still do it? I think I would.


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## skip.knox (Sep 12, 2016)

cydare is correct about us being our own worst critics. Seriously. We writers are lousy critics. Of anyone. Being a critic is a skill in itself, quite separate and even antithetical to writing. So, please do not take your own judgment seriously. Seriously. 

That said, I do understand the emotional reaction. There's no dancing around it. Sometimes we despair, and MS is a great place in which to weep. We get it. I'm not even going to try to fix it.

I even understand the specific point of despair: that the prose may be solid but the story may suck. I feel that way about my novel and I have about ten years into the thing. What if every agent tells me I write okay but the story itself just isn't there? I'd feel like Sisyphus who was just told oh no, you've been working on the wrong hill, dude.

But here's the thing. And I offer this not as consolation but only as another layer of despair.   It's not like I have a choice. I'm not going to stop writing. I can't. This is a wretched habit that I can't kick, and even when it gets me high, I critique the nature of the high. But there is not stopping. Yoda had it all wrong. There is no do, there is no do not; there is _only_ try.

Wow. Now I'm really cheered up, I'm going to go write.


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## Heliotrope (Sep 12, 2016)

And now I will forever picture Skip as a tiny green alien with large ears behind the blue glow of his computer screen….

I PM'd Chessie, because I just feel better talking about certain things in private and this is one of them, but I will echo everyone here with: 

Yes. I feel this too. 

I don't write in the summers. Call me lazy. Whatever. I just have other things I do in the summer. So now that September has sprung up again and my kid is in school I have started up my writing routine again. 

And I have had nightmares every night. 

I dream about how crappy my story is. I go to sleep every night telling myself I'm crap. I wake up every morning terrified to read what I wrote because I'm fairly certain it is crap. 

I just can't stop. I dont' know why. Addiction maybe? Like Skip said?


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## FifthView (Sep 12, 2016)

skip.knox said:


> Yoda had it all wrong. There is no do, there is no do not; there is _only_ try.



I think Yoda was right.

Just do it.  Or don't.

I'm probably a heretic here, because the idea of writing-as-addiction does not appeal to me.  We do it because we want to do it, and we want to do it because it brings us joy.  By "we" I mean the royal we in this case; i.e., me.

The hair-pulling, gnashing of teeth bits are insignificant or ought to be.  Yes, it's all a bother.  Frustration, irritation, and so forth.

But there really ought to be joy or why bother?  

_This too shall pass._ –throw this at all the irritations, sloppy writing, stupid characterization, and whatever else pops up.  Just do.  Or don't.


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## Penpilot (Sep 12, 2016)

One of the lessons I learned writing my first novel was don't look at your work and just think it sucks. Sure it might suck but you have to follow it up with now how can I make this better?

Part of it is mindset. Sometimes you have to look at your naysayers, even if that person is yourself, and say I'll show you who sucks.  There's nothing wrong with sucking. It's what you do about it that matters. And maybe don't be so secretive about it with your friends. The truth will set you free. If they're your friends, they'll support you. At the very least they will understand. If they try to put you down, [email protected] 'em. That's not what true friends do. 

I'm working on a short story right now. The first draft stunk. The second draft stunk less. The tenth draft wasn't bad. With each pass, I make something a little better. It's getting there. All I need is a little time. Too bad the deadline is the 16th. :s

Finally, if you're worried about structure, find books and read up on it. For me, there's nothing more empowering than knowledge. The more you know, the more you realize you don't know. But with that comes understanding on how to tackle whatever problems you may face. Or at least give you directions to try. 

You're the hero of your own story, and these are your try-fail cycles you have to get through in order to get to your triumphant climax. 

Fight the good fight 'cause that's all you or any of us can do. And really, that's all that matters. Because if you do, you'll win, even when you don't.


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## Malik (Sep 12, 2016)

We all suck. All of us. You can see that as a cost or a benefit. 

I just strive to suck a little less than I usually do, and that's the stuff I typically end up keeping.


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## SaltyDog (Sep 12, 2016)

Slump, like I've said, you get into slumps.  Everybody who's good at something will get a case of that.  I wrote too much yesterday and felt that my writing was a piece of crap.  Reviewing today?  Not so bad, and hey once it's edited, it'll turn out okay.

Don't get depressed on what you write, try to stay afloat.  Get someone to read your work who praises none stop.  That's always a nice thing to hear, endless praise even though you know it's not the best, lol.


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## Reaver (Sep 12, 2016)

I've moved this thread to Chit Chat as it seems a more appropriate forum for this thread.


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## Chessie (Sep 12, 2016)

Hi, guys. Thanks for contributing to the conversation. I'm feeling somewhat better now. Suppose I just don't want to get laughed at for writing crappy stories.

About workshops, yes, my story is currently in a critique circle. The process is kind of annoying but necessary. Sometimes I wish for genies to do my bidding.


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## skip.knox (Sep 12, 2016)

Fear of negative reaction is a killer. Some never get past it--even many who are successful writers. That's at least one fear that has never bothered me. No idea why; I think it's in-born, so if you've got it, all you can do is learn to live with it.

My fear, mentioned in the OP, is the fear that the story itself is fundamentally flawed. Penpilot says sure first versions suck. Well and good, but the challenge is dealing with the fear that you, the author, can't tell. Maybe I think the story is great. Yeah, there are rough spots, and gotta work on characterization here and the plot sags there, but all that can be fixed in post. 

The fear is, the story is buffed and shiny. It goes out to an agent who says, love your writing, but where's the story? Or, this is mostly great, but I just can't buy the ending. Or, the story needs a secondary arc. In short, that the story as far as I can conceive it is either cannot be salvaged or must be utterly rewritten. This, after having invested years in the thing.

What if I can write, but I can't write _stories_? And what if I can't tell the difference?

Near as I can tell, the only cure for this is to invest years, write a bunch of stories (like six or ten), and be rejected or not. That's a gut-grabbing bet. Like I said, I'm all in, so there's no turning back. But I completely understand the anxiety.


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## Heliotrope (Sep 12, 2016)

This book is pretty decent. 

The 12 Key Pillars of Novel Construction: Your Blueprint for Building a Strong Story (The Writer's Toolbox Series) eBook: C. S. Lakin: Amazon.ca: Kindle Store

I've spent the past year or so worrying about the same thing Skip. As soon as I realized that pretty writing does not = an engaging story. It helps, for a little while at least, but I've soon come to realize I can ignore semi average writing if the story is engaging... And based on the worlds response to "The Martian" I think many people agree. 

My dad, an avid sci-fi/ fantasy fan and I read "The Name of The Wind" and "The Martian" in the same summer. We agreed that Rothfuss had pretty prose but not much else. We both loved "The Martian" despite the amateurish (at times) writing. 

Story is huge. I've been studying it now for over a year and when I do crit for people I don't line edit anymore. That stuff is not important, IMO. What is important is story. 

But there is so much to learn!!!


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## DragonOfTheAerie (Sep 12, 2016)

You *can* fix a poor structure after the book is written, if the problem isn't *too* critical. Change up a few scenes, rearrange timelines if subplots, cut scenes, splice new ones in, bring in different characters...You can gut and restructure a story (at least partially) without completely rewriting it. The skeleton beneath the finished product is not immutable. I do a lot of this stuff when rewriting. 

Some people don't like to do things like that after it's all done. But I know that knowing I can fix things up later is a huge stress reliever for me. If I felt like I had to get the structure right on the first try, I would never write a word. I write stories with very complicated plots and multiple POV's, so it almost always involves some measure of trial and error.


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## Heliotrope (Sep 12, 2016)

Yep, I'm with you dragon. Rewriting is a major part of my process as well. Halfway through I may just decide to add in a new character because I'm missing "something" and have to make a note to myself to go back and put them in from the beginning. Or I will write a scene and realize it would have been better in a different setting. Or, right now I'm adding at least four new chapters to the beginning of the story and scrapping the ones I had. 

For me it's not about writing the story fast, but writing it right.


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## TheCatholicCrow (Sep 12, 2016)

Chesterama said:


> I've hit a wall, a wall of fear and it's now impossible for me to work.
> 
> This story is terrible. Everything I write is terrible. All my ideas are shallow and should be drowned in a bucket of NOPE.
> 
> I may not be good enough to publish stories. Learning how to construct them has a super steep learning curve I'm still climbing. I read these awesome books and know that they're weaving a tale impossible for me to match. But I've been doing this writing thing all my life...and I'm still not there.



I think we've all been there ... a lot. I know it's evil to do this but I wrote an article on this last month. Here's a link in case you're interested (or bored) Conquering Fear and Overcoming Writers' Doubt. 

I agree that it might help to have some people critique your writing... Sometimes I wonder how Hemingway felt when he looked at his works. Did he ever doubt himself because he lacked eloquence? ... you're you. Try not to compare yourself (or your stories) to others because you have a different voice and a different story to tell. Not everyone will understand or like what you're going for. At some point you'll have to learn to trust yourself and the incredible skills you already have. 

I completely sympathize. When it comes to writing, I often feel like a child playing at an adult's game. Inadequate. Stupid. Fraud. Hack. Sub-par. The piece sucks. I suck. Why do I try? Who am I kidding? ... Fear. Doubt. Anxiety. ... you name it, I've felt it. I think we all have. Writing is empowering on the best of days but leaves you plagued with doubt (and possibly self-loathing) on the worst. (If it doesn't, you're either a narcissist or you're not digging deep enough.)

Maybe take a few days off to read and reboot (or Netflix binge w pj's & ice cream ... whichever you find more helpful). Come back to the page with a clear head. 

Also ... make sure you *delete some of your PM's so I can message you*


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## Penpilot (Sep 12, 2016)

skip.knox said:


> My fear, mentioned in the OP, is the fear that the story itself is fundamentally flawed. Penpilot says sure first versions suck. Well and good, but the challenge is dealing with the fear that you, the author, can't tell. Maybe I think the story is great. Yeah, there are rough spots, and gotta work on characterization here and the plot sags there, but all that can be fixed in post.



I never want to be one of those people I've seen on American Idol who think they're the bee's knees because their Moms told them so, and then get a splash of cold water thrown at them. 

For myself, I've always had the confidence that if I'm humble, and I worked hard at something, the results will be OK. Maybe not great or jaw dropping but enough not to be ashamed. Basically, I'm confident that I can be at least mediocre. 

As for not being able to tell, I don't know. We may not be able to tell right away, but I think given time and distance, we can all tell. I also think a part of it is developing and trusting your own instincts.

When I take a story to a writing group, I've gone over it so many times I'm sick of it. But I'm also so intimate with it that I already have a list of things I think are wrong with it. I'm just looking for confirmation. I'd say 75% of the time when someone points to an issue, it's something I'm already aware of. Sometimes I leave what I think are mistakes in just to see if others in the group agree and point them out. 

I think that if I want to be a pro, then I have to learn how to figure something out without help. That, like the writing itself, requires practice. And one way I practice is read terrible books and watch bad movies. I look at those stories and I try to identify what's broken in them, and then, I think about how I'd fix them. I also try to ID what works in them. I do this with good books and movies too. 

I don't always do it. I can turn it on and off now. But sometimes there are movies that I know suck but I go watch anyway like Suicide Squad or BvS, just so I can mentally break them down. But how do I know my opinions are correct? I read reviews and see if others agree. The more reviews that agree with my assessment, the more confident I am that my views are on base.


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## Chessie (Sep 12, 2016)

TheCatholicCrow said:


> Also ... make sure you *delete some of your PM's so I can message you*


Hey, done.


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## DragonOfTheAerie (Sep 12, 2016)

The funny thing is, I was just about to post a thread with basically the same self-doubt rant in it when you posted this.


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## Chessie (Sep 12, 2016)

DragonOfTheAerie said:


> The funny thing is, I was just about to post a thread with basically the same self-doubt rant in it when you posted this.


Hah, yeah? Geesh, it's hit me all day. I'm just now sitting down to write...like an entire day later than I typically do. I might be overwhelmed though working on 3 manuscripts in different stages...

I'm just feeling like I'm not writing with enough emotion, enough heart, enough anything.


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## DragonOfTheAerie (Sep 12, 2016)

Chesterama said:


> Hah, yeah? Geesh, it's hit me all day. I'm just now sitting down to write...like an entire day later than I typically do. I might be overwhelmed though working on 3 manuscripts in different stages...
> 
> I'm just feeling like I'm not writing with enough emotion, enough heart, enough anything.



There are always going to be times when you get into a slump and can't work your best, I figure. But, I've written some of my best stuff in such slumps, so...

For me it's been mostly about being too young. I'm a teenager, I'd dare to say I'm not that bad of a writer, I'm better at least than some stuff I've seen published...I hope. But, still, I often feel that I'm not qualified, that I don't have what it takes, that what I'm trying to do is too hard...but, what am I supposed to do? Wait? 

It doesn't help that mine is a very ambitious project. And how do you "write what you know" when you know so little? There are so many life experiences I haven't even made it to yet and what do I do...hold off writing about them? how am I supposed to write my WIP then? 

That was kinda off topic from the original discussion, but...it's what my self-doubt sounds like.


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## SaltyDog (Sep 12, 2016)

DragonOfTheAerie said:


> There are always going to be times when you get into a slump and can't work your best, I figure. But, I've written some of my best stuff in such slumps, so...
> 
> For me it's been mostly about being too young. I'm a teenager, I'd dare to say I'm not that bad of a writer, I'm better at least than some stuff I've seen published...I hope. But, still, I often feel that I'm not qualified, that I don't have what it takes, that what I'm trying to do is too hard...but, what am I supposed to do? Wait?
> 
> ...



Ah finally, someone else mentioned slumps!  My work here is finished.

Anyway, I agree and fall into the same situation as DotA, but my ego and attitude have yet to really take a dip yet, as I have not reached the editing stage of my book, once there it will probably drop a few notches, but it's pretty big, so I don't know, lol.


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## skip.knox (Sep 12, 2016)

DragonOfTheAerie said:


> <snip> And how do you "write what you know" when you know so little? </snip>



Please, absolutely do not worry about this one. First, the statement is vague. What constitutes knowing in the context of writing? Are we talking having direct experience? Verified facts? Empathy? Second, the statement is absurd in the context of writing fantasy. Third, I can name a long list of authors who flagrantly violate this, are successful and brilliant. If you can, forget you ever even heard of this aphorism.

Don't write what you know, write what you feel. Or, in my case, write whatever you can manage to pound into something resembling sense!


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## Peat (Sep 12, 2016)

Preach it Brother Knox!

Look, I've got nothing helpful to say here in terms of you'll read it and you'll climb out the dumps and conquer the world. If I knew something like that, I'd be whispering it to myself day after day, and be God-Emperor of Mankind.

All I can say is I've been there. Lots of people get there. Lots of successful authors. They climbed out of their hole; so can you. That little black dog yapping away at you can be put in its place.


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## Russ (Sep 13, 2016)

Two quick things to add.

"Write what you know" works for everyone.  What it means to me is "be aware, be thoughtful of your surroundings, take note of things in the world and about people and put them into your writing."  Everybody has some degree of life experience that can and should go into their writing.  

Secondly I think Chesterama is right to be concerned about how she will put children through college on a writer's wage.  Not because I don't think Chesterama can write, quite to the contrary, I find her consistently thoughtful, intelligent, insightful and learn a great deal from her posts.

I am concerned about that question because of what college costs these days!


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## skip.knox (Sep 13, 2016)

I have to disagree, respectfully, with Russ. "Write what you know" is pernicious and vague. Russ has interpreted it into something useful. "Everybody has some degree of life experience that can and should go into their writing." Absolutely. I agree. That is a useful thing to say. "Write what you know" is pernicious because it leads a great many beginning authors to doubt their own skill unnecessarily. There are plenty of reasons for self-doubt; we don't need to add to the list. That's why I want to kill off the saying.

Also, I wouldn't worry about putting kids through college. I made it through without more than token parental help. My kids did likewise. And the one who is doing best financially went to college not at all.  Do what you most desperately want to do with your life. It's what *your* parents wanted for *you* after all.


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## Russ (Sep 13, 2016)

skip.knox said:


> I have to disagree, respectfully, with Russ. "Write what you know" is pernicious and vague. Russ has interpreted it into something useful. "Everybody has some degree of life experience that can and should go into their writing." Absolutely. I agree. That is a useful thing to say. "Write what you know" is pernicious because it leads a great many beginning authors to doubt their own skill unnecessarily. There are plenty of reasons for self-doubt; we don't need to add to the list. That's why I want to kill off the saying.



Am I actually the optimist on this one?  It must be a first.


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## DragonOfTheAerie (Sep 13, 2016)

skip.knox said:


> Please, absolutely do not worry about this one. First, the statement is vague. What constitutes knowing in the context of writing? Are we talking having direct experience? Verified facts? Empathy? Second, the statement is absurd in the context of writing fantasy. Third, I can name a long list of authors who flagrantly violate this, are successful and brilliant. If you can, forget you ever even heard of this aphorism.
> 
> Don't write what you know, write what you feel. Or, in my case, write whatever you can manage to pound into something resembling sense!



Well...in this case...

It *is* "write what you know", not "don't write what you don't know." So, maybe utilize your experiences as much as you can, but don't limit yourself...

Have I actually experienced *anything* I write about? Ive never broken a bone, been whipped, stitched up a wound, survived in the wilderness...and I've DEFINITELY never ridden a dragon....


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## FifthView (Sep 13, 2016)

This morning on the way to work I listened to this related podcast:  11.28: Impostor Syndrome, with Alyssa Wong | Writing Excuses


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## Chessie (Sep 13, 2016)

Russ said:


> Two quick things to add.
> 
> "Write what you know" works for everyone.  What it means to me is "be aware, be thoughtful of your surroundings, take note of things in the world and about people and put them into your writing."  Everybody has some degree of life experience that can and should go into their writing.
> 
> ...


Thank you for the compliments, Russ. It's good to hear this from someone I genuinely respect as well! And my son doesn't even want to go to college at this point, but he's only 8 so who knows. I'd like for him to have that option should he ever want it. And if we have more children then they might want that option, too.

Last night, I wrote 300 words. I'm down significantly from my norm. Definitely anxiety but I talk to someone about that. Could be the winter setting in...who knows. It might just be that I have A LOT of work on my plate: 2 manuscripts, trying to get a 3rd one edited, deadlines, marketing, editors, etc. This is a ton of work and I'm sitting here frozen. I even had to push back a deadline by two months. At least, I guess, I'm still trying. It sucks though because the days are flying by and the first novel is fast approaching its November deadline.


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## ascanius (Sep 13, 2016)

Chesterama said:


> So...yeah, it's happened. I've hit a wall, a wall of fear and it's now impossible for me to work. It all started innocently enough by dusting off a short that I wanted to edit.
> 
> The wave of stupid washed over me. Whoa, who wrote this crap? Yeah, uh, just who do I think I am trying to get stuff published? Oh, no. This story is terrible. Everything I write is terrible. All my ideas are shallow and should be drowned in a bucket of NOPE.
> 
> ...



First get out of the house and have some fun with your friends.  It's not good to isolate yourself, trust me on this one.  Go out every once in a while with your friends, you need time to have fun and your friends can help with the story even if it means giving you time to relax.

Your relatives sound like they suck, ok get over their opinions of your choices, it's going to always be a constant battle that is going to drain you.  Take the advice and opinions that are usefull to you.  Depending, you know your relatives better than I but I had a friend who's relatives never had anything good to say and I hope that's not your case.

Say it out loud, "this is terrible writting, it seems like a five year old wrote it."  Ok say it again for good measure.  Ok you said it, out loud too.  Now go on a night out with your friends and have fun.    

Don't be upset by the fear and self doubt.  But don't let it control you.  Like others have said we are our own worst enemy.  Before you write anything more have someone/ many people read it they will see things you missed, and most likely be it's not going to be what your worried about.  

Remember to go out and have fun doing something totally unrelated to writing. You need time to relax even if it's one day.  

It really sounds like you are getting burned out.

Good luck.


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## Daniel (Sep 14, 2016)

Hey, if it was easy it wouldn't be worth doing, right? Everyone feels this way at times, but it's perseverance that separates the successful people from the rest. Look at all the authors you admire and aspire to be like - are they angels sent by God? Do they have miraculous powers you and I don't have access to? No, they're human. They make mistakes. They've followed the same thought pattern you have loads of times, and if they can do it why can't you? Too many people look at the destination, but they don't want to go through the process. Let me assure you it's the journey which is ultimately going to teach you the most, and be the biggest testimony for others to aspire to. You think your writing is bad? Well good news: that's because you're improving.


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