# Interested, Are majority of writers alone?



## SeverinR (Mar 27, 2012)

After reading several bio's, and having a man in a class mention being alone as a driving force for writing.
(Did not connect this prior to the man mentioning it)

Are most writers sitting alone in a room with multiple pets?

I wrote in school, not seriously, but I did write. I wrote some in the military, mostly when I was stationed at a remote sight.
I started writing seriously after my divorce.
I have two cats, and a puppy.  

Is writing the result of to much time alone? Or am I just noticing more of the lonely writers?


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## Caged Maiden (Mar 27, 2012)

I hope not... that sounds sad to me.  

To be a contradiction, I started writing at 21 because I hated my boring job (car sales) and my coworkers.  Now, however, I am 31, have been married for 9 years and have four kids (6, 4, 2, and 6 months)... oh and an obnoxious eleven year old dog.  My life is busy busy.  It's a good thing I write quickly, because I also run a business selling costumes and doing custom clothing, and pack up all my stock a few times a year and go camp and vend.  

I think art in general has more participants with time than very busy people, but I sincerely hope that people who have a passion for something find a way to fit it into their lives.  It leaves one feeling hollow when they deny their heart its creativity... and it would be a shame if such denial caused resentment to the family who should inspire and support them.


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## thetraveler (Mar 27, 2012)

Alone? No. Choosing my circle of friends wisely? Yes. I'm young. But how young is for you to figure out... I still live at my parents house and I'm not old enough for it to be creepy or weird. I spend a lot of time with my four best friends, have a girlfriend who I am going steady with(minus parental meddling from her family...), and have a great church family--though I hate to break it to my guys group that they won't all get free copies of my book . The one aspect I am alone in is writers, though thank God I found this forum.

It's not that I don't know writers, or even that I don't know fantasy/sci-fi writers... It's just that in the circle of writers I know, I am _the only one_ actively pursuing publication. I'm pounding out words as fast as I can in order to start querying in the next two months or less. No one else is doing this. Sure, they've got drafts going, some even have finished novels. But when I'm like: "So, who you looking at for agents/publishing houses?" They're all like: "What?"

So I think every writer has some (albeit small) degree of loneliness in his life, but then again, doesn't everyone?


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## Devor (Mar 27, 2012)

SeverinR said:


> Is writing the result of to much time alone? Or am I just noticing more of the lonely writers?



I'm typing this with a 6 month old sleeping in my arms.  There's at least a lot of family people on these forums.  But then, most of us are also struggling for more time to write.


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## Steerpike (Mar 27, 2012)

Most writers I know are either married or in long-term relationships.


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## Saigonnus (Mar 27, 2012)

I am married to a wonderful Mexican woman... don't know many writers personally, but many in their own "about the author" sections are married or in committed relationships. I write for a hobby more than for publishing and sharing my stories with the world; so maybe I am not "technically" a writer.


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## San Cidolfus (Mar 27, 2012)

It's good to see that most of the wordsmiths here are in committed, healthy relationships, and that it's an observable normality in the wider literary world.  It gives one hope.  Not _this_ one, mind you.  Emotionally fragmented, sociopathic loners continue to be the vogue minority.  Go me.


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## Saigonnus (Mar 27, 2012)

thetraveler said:


> But how young is for you to figure out... I still live at my parents house and I'm not old enough for it to be creepy or weird.



In many societies and cultures around the world it is common for people in their 20s, 30s or even 40s to live with their family depending on their economic situation. For example in Central and South America you'll often time see three generations of family living under the same roof. Family is simply more important than is typical in first-world nations and it saves money for the "family" to have a single home instead of making payments on three different ones. I don't consider it weird (especially with the economy the way it is) that people still live with their parents. 

The "American" way of life often is backwards when in regard to the family dynamic... many families (my own included) get so spread out with the American dream of having a home, car, and all that goes with it that they lose sight of the fact that family is probably one of the most important things we have. Many people don't know their first cousins, aunts or uncles if they live far enough away that travel to see them isn't cost effective.


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## grahamguitarman (Mar 27, 2012)

I'm married with kids


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## Rikilamaro (Mar 27, 2012)

I'm divorced, but I do have a son, a dog, a cat.


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## The Blue Lotus (Mar 27, 2012)

I'm never alone the 99 other voices in my head keep me quiet amused all day long! :wink:

No really though, I don't think the EMO writer is the norm. It just sells better in movies and the like. 

Most of us are well adjusted people with lots of love in our lives.

And I'm sorry but I just have to add that being married does not mean you are not alone...


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## Ireth (Mar 27, 2012)

I'm single, but I'm also relatively young and not ready for long-term relationships yet.


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## Benjamin Clayborne (Mar 27, 2012)

I'm married (coming up on 10 years next month) with two kids, 7 and 3. No pets at the moment. We had a cat that died a couple of years ago (the wife and the cat came together as a set); I'm allergic to cats, so we'll probably get a dog once we get the fence in our back yard fixed (right now, a dog could easily escape through it).


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## Xanados (Mar 27, 2012)

The Blue Lotus said:


> I'm never alone the 99 other voices in my head keep me quiet amused all day long! :wink:
> 
> No really though, I don't think the EMO writer is the norm. It just sells better in movies and the like.
> 
> ...


I wouldn't use the term "emo" to describe someone who is not in a relationship.
Emo is apparently some sort of teenager fashion style and music genre. That has nothing to do with lonely people. Is a homeless man an emo? No.


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## SeverinR (Mar 28, 2012)

Saigonnus said:


> In many societies and cultures around the world it is common for people in their 20s, 30s or even 40s to live with their family depending on their economic situation. For example in Central and South America you'll often time see three generations of family living under the same roof. Family is simply more important than is typical in first-world nations and it saves money for the "family" to have a single home instead of making payments on three different ones. I don't consider it weird (especially with the economy the way it is) that people still live with their parents.
> 
> The "American" way of life often is backwards when in regard to the family dynamic... many families (my own included) get so spread out with the American dream of having a home, car, and all that goes with it that they lose sight of the fact that family is probably one of the most important things we have. Many people don't know their first cousins, aunts or uncles if they live far enough away that travel to see them isn't cost effective.


The stigma when I was growing up was living with parents meant creepy or failure to thrive, but in the economy today, people need to share bills to make it. So it is more acceptable to live with family.



The Blue Lotus said:


> And I'm sorry but I just have to add that being married does not mean you are not alone...


Never so alone as when I was married to a stranger.

Good to know writing doesn't mean lonliness. When I get rid of lonliness I won't get rid of writing.
It seems like the last four author bios I read were author lives alone with rescue_____(animal(s)).


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## The Blue Lotus (Mar 28, 2012)

Xanados said:


> I wouldn't use the term "emo" to describe someone who is not in a relationship.
> Emo is apparently some sort of teenager fashion style and music genre. That has nothing to do with lonely people. Is a homeless man an emo? No.


Ok I'll give you that. For lack of a better word I used what I used. Got a better word?


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## Elder the Dwarf (Mar 28, 2012)

Xanados said:


> I wouldn't use the term "emo" to describe someone who is not in a relationship.
> Emo is apparently some sort of teenager fashion style and music genre. That has nothing to do with lonely people. Is a homeless man an emo? No.



No need to nitpick.  I'm pretty sure Lotus was referring to the popular image of the single, friendless, depressed writer that has become so common.  Emo isn't a bad simile.


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## The Blue Lotus (Mar 28, 2012)

Elder the Dwarf said:


> No need to nitpick.  I'm pretty sure Lotus was referring to the popular image of the single, friendless, depressed writer that has become so common.  Emo isn't a bad simile.



Exactly Elder, tyvm


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## Legendary Sidekick (Mar 28, 2012)

I never shut up about my wife and kids - two daughters and "The Dragon," whose gender will be revealed, hopefully, in three weeks.

I actually started writing better when I was married... maybe because I figure it had to be good enough to show my wife.


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## Saigonnus (Mar 28, 2012)

The Blue Lotus said:


> And I'm sorry but I just have to add that being married does not mean you are not alone...



This is certainly true, considering modern society's need to have both parents working to support their family, hence the reason some people have affairs or have "open" relationships. Many couples only see each other for a couple hours before they go to sleep or in the morning, not really enough to have a healthy relationship. 

The wife and I are only apart 6 or 7 hours out of the day; and I am sleeping during much of this time so I don't miss her that much, the rest of the day we are together even if we are working on our seperate things or grading papers (she's an English teacher). We always set aside time to be alone together without much for distractions; whether snuggling to a movie or wandering the mall just looking at stuff.

I do know a writer come to think about it and she is all alone with like 4 cats... so obsessed with reading and writing that she got pulled over numerous times for reading while driving and got her license taken away. :wink:


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## The Blue Lotus (Mar 28, 2012)

Oh stop Sidekick, you know you are good.  

Oh and do let us know if it's a boy or girl.


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## Kelise (Mar 29, 2012)

I started writing whilst in primary school, and wrote through most of my classes during high school. I was part of a group of 15 or so friends, and I wrote during lunch times. I wrote during theatre rehearsals. I wrote when friends had homework to do, and when we got older, when they had uni or course work. 

I write at work, I write with my partner around and I write with my partner.

Writing alone doesn't always get me writing fast. I get distracted by researching on the net or getting a notification for something. It can be necessary though for difficult scenes.

Overall I find I write best at work. The environment is ideal - as long as I've done all my work and I'm not getting distracted by having to do something, of course!

(Though work does always come first at work, of course. I'm very lucky I work in a place that basically knows what I'm doing and allows me to get away with it, knowing that I won't let anything or anyone down for it.)


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## Philip Overby (Mar 29, 2012)

I've always told girlfriends in the past that I like writing so leave me alone sometimes and let me do it.  I mentioned the other day to my wife I wanted a desk so I could have a nice place to write.  When I woke up in the morning she had been searching online for desks.  

So having a supportive partner is always great for me.  I think maybe for some people it may be easier to write if they are alone, but I find the vast majority of people have partners of some sort that are supportive of them and/or writers themselves.


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