# Too much dialogue?



## Black Dragon (Jun 26, 2011)

When I'm working on a new chapter, I often find that my characters tend to talk.  A lot.  I sometimes end up with pages of dialogue with little action in between.

How much dialogue is enough?  Do you have any tips for keeping dialogue from overwhelming a scene?


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## TWErvin2 (Jun 26, 2011)

If you go into a chapter or scene with a specific goal--what you're doing to advance the plot, for example, then if the dialogue does this (helps you achieve the objective of the section), you're on track. If it doesn't, then it needs to be trimmed, cut, or redirected.


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## Joe the Gnarled (Jun 27, 2011)

You can show action with dialogue:

"Are we almost there?  This hill is going to be the death of me." Jane panted as we struggled with the loose stones under our feet.

or

Jane calmly released her bowstring.  As the shaft entered the intruders left shoulder she asked, "How is your wife these days?"

Fixated on the growing red stain on the man's shirt I stammered, "She... I... She is good."

I choked back vomit as the second arrow impaled his throat. “Does she still bake those delicious cookies?”

Or you can summarize:

Jane seemed to have endless questions about my family, my past, my sex life.  Mostly things I did not want to talk about so I countered with questions of my own.  This led to many unanswered questions which would prompt both of us to come up with a whole new round of questions.

I apologize if my punctuation is off, I admit dialogue punctuation always throws me for a loop.


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## BeigePalladin (Jun 27, 2011)

as joe said, you can show them both together. In fact, I'd say that's one of the best ways to show tension in a conversation, or pace. afterall, sometimes people can talk hilst doing stuff even out of comic books


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## Chilari (Jun 27, 2011)

But what if what you need is a long conversation between two characters when they're not doing much at all? Something to develop their relationship, or in which they are working something out about the plot which they were previously unaware of, or which they each knew different parts of? Not all conversations can take place while other things are happening, and some times a different tone is called for. How, then, do you prevent it degenerating into "she said, he said, she asked, he replied"?


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## myrddin173 (Jun 27, 2011)

Well if it is just two people, you do not really need the dialogue tags after you establish who is talking.  Readers will know that it is alternating between the two people.  

On the subject of to much dialogue, if the dialogue does not progress the plot, establish/enhance relationships, or provide background/necessary information; it should not be there.  As long as one, or more, of these things is happening I believe you can write as much dialogue as you want as long as it continues to satisfy one of the requirements.


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## JoanofArch (Jun 28, 2011)

Speaking for myself, I always just go ahead and write the big, fat, long thing of dialogue I have stirring in my head, and I don't let myself start thinking like an editor, like "This is getting too long" or "I should write in some action here". Sometimes when I just let the characters talk, they start revealing more and more details. Then I review what I've got, and try to figure out what's essential for them to say right then and there, what could be said to greater effect in a different spot, and what is just witty banter I thought sounded clever at the time. I always save a separate copy of the original dialogue for reference before I start editing it. 

Generally, I've got a rule of three for exchanges. If I'm struggling to insert actions into the dialogue, and have a long big thing of just dialogue, I go through and try to find something for the character to do every three exchanges. He said, she said, he said, action. Eventually as I go along I start to figure out what exactly they need to do when while they're saying what, and it becomes less of a fixed pattern and more natural. But it helps me get started, at least


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## Ophiucha (Jun 28, 2011)

For the past three years, I have been writing a book about a mute protagonist, and honestly, I worry that once I finish this project, I'm going to have a lot of difficulty with dialogue. I rely so, so heavily on expressions and body language, often entire 'dialogues' include no more than two things between quotation marks. I even avoid simple things; I'm more likely to write "She asked me to pass the salt," than " 'Pass the salt', she asked."

I say this because I don't think I convey things poorly because of it, and I think it would be a quick fix to 'too much dialogue'. Faces, movements, and just a bit of summary where it's unnecessary to give us the word-for-word quote. Of course, an engaging exchange of information is of the highest necessity. I could tolerate nothing but "X", "Y", "XOX", "YZZZ" for twenty pages if it was riveting. But most of the dry, dragging dialogue I've read is just boring. We get every word from "hello" to "goodbye" and as far as we know the two characters are standing still, motionless. Even a bit of fidgeting is enough to break up a little dry conversation, if it's needed.


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## BeigePalladin (Jun 28, 2011)

Chilari said:


> But what if what you need is a long conversation between two characters when they're not doing much at all? Something to develop their relationship, or in which they are working something out about the plot which they were previously unaware of, or which they each knew different parts of? Not all conversations can take place while other things are happening, and some times a different tone is called for. How, then, do you prevent it degenerating into "she said, he said, she asked, he replied"?



a technique here is, simply, after establishing the voice of each character, dropping X said/did/exclaimed all together, and having just the lines of text follow one after another directly. your characters should stand out enough from each other to be distinguishable, and character that wouldn't be distinguishable would probably have simmilar things to say.

also, even during a static conversation, pay attentions to what you do - because I promise you'll be doing more than just talk, even if you don't notice


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## CicadaGrrl (Jul 1, 2011)

First of all, I'm a dialogue fiend.  So take that in mind.  I have a lot of white space in my books.  Secondly, characters don't need to be fighting a war to add actions into dialogue.  "He gave a slow, creaking blink."  "She threw the apple up in the air and caught it again."  You can put in markers of movement that show emotion.

Thirdly--if I catch you using tags I will spank you like an ill behaved dog (not that I actually do that).  There is almost never never a need to write "he said" or "she said." or worse, "she said winsomely" at the end of a quote.  Write your quote.  Follow it directly with an action or description of said character.  "Oh, no you don't."  Ralph tick ticked his finger back and forth in Lauren's face.  Since ralph, with no paragraphing, is immediately what follows, Ralph is therefore the speaker.  You don't have to write "he said."  It means nothing.  "He said crossly" is worse.  If you want cross, write a sentence afterwards that conveys cross.  

As long as conversation moves along a plot--emotional or physical--it is good by me.  Just remember to add some action and description to break it up.


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## Map the Dragon (Jul 2, 2011)

I agree with CicadaGrrl in most points. But, an especially irksome issue that she and I both take to heart is the use of the better-avoided adverb in speaker attribution tags. If you use these, you're violating the rule of show don't tell, which (as cliche as it sounds) is some of the best advice for writers. If you do include the 'he said' attribution, avoid the adverb and add description to show the intended need for that adverb instead.


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## TWErvin2 (Jul 2, 2011)

he said and she said---the word 'said' is an invisible word. Readers in general don't take note of it other than to key them in as to who is speaking. There is nothing wrong with 'said' so don't hesitate to use it as part of a dialogue tag when appropriate.


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## BeigePalladin (Jul 3, 2011)

Ervin echoes my sentiments, which is cool as he's published 

I don't see problems with said, as it's used to say someones speaking. cutting it means that you'll struggle to express your charachters manner of speaking, even if you can say what they're doing...


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## Donny Bruso (Jul 4, 2011)

Personally I try to use the word 'said' as little as possible in my writing because I consider it to be a cop out for when I'm stuck and can't think of a reasonable way for the character to be acting. I can't eliminate it entirely, but it's my experience that people rarely simply 'say' anything. Using another word conveys not just _what_ they say but  _how_ it comes out.

There's a big difference between the following examples:

"Stay back!" Jim said.

"Stay back!" Jim threatened.

"Stay back!" Jim quavered.

Personally I see more of the character's state of mind in the latter two. Could be it's just me.


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## Joe the Gnarled (Jul 4, 2011)

CicadaGrrl said:


> Thirdly--if I catch you using tags I will spank you like an ill behaved dog (not that I actually do that).  There is almost never never a need to write "he said" or "she said." or worse, "she said winsomely" at the end of a quote.  Write your quote.  Follow it directly with an action or description of said character.  "Oh, no you don't."  Ralph tick ticked his finger back and forth in Lauren's face.  Since ralph, with no paragraphing, is immediately what follows, Ralph is therefore the speaker.  You don't have to write "he said."  It means nothing.  "He said crossly" is worse.  If you want cross, write a sentence afterwards that conveys cross.



After reading 80 pages of a 400+ page book I have put it down never to pick it up again.  The problem was exactly this.  Every " " was preceded by: He said, She said, I inquired, ect.  It got to the point (especially during a long conversation) that all I could focus on was the he said, she said, I inquired.  I could not get in to the dialogue which was a major part of the story.


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## Chinaren (Jul 5, 2011)

I have times when there's lots of dialogue in my writings, but if it seems natural why not?   

Of course it should be progressing the plot or maybe helping us learn more about the characters.  Meaningless babble will turn people off for the most part. 

It needs to be 'natural' though, if you see what I mean.  I've seen many a conversation that appears to have been written just for the sake of the having the characters speak.


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## mudart (Jul 7, 2011)

If dialogue doesn't have subtext, it's unnecessary.


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## sashamerideth (Jul 10, 2011)

I have been criticised by other people for using dialogue to reveal my world to my readers. The characters talk about things that would be common knowledge to them, but foreign to the reader. I don't see their criticism, how often do we talk about mundane things that would reveal our world to an outside reader? Quite often for me.

People also talk while doing things, dialog beats I think they are called. Everything should be either exposition or moving forward dialog can move forward or expose.


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## Chinaren (Jul 10, 2011)

sashamerideth said:


> I have been criticised by other people for using dialogue to reveal my world to my readers. The characters talk about things that would be common knowledge to them, but foreign to the reader. I don't see their criticism, how often do we talk about mundane things that would reveal our world to an outside reader? Quite often for me.
> 
> People also talk while doing things, dialog beats I think they are called. Everything should be either exposition or moving forward dialog can move forward or expose.



I think that's a perfectly acceptable way of doing things, good even.


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## Joe the Gnarled (Jul 10, 2011)

sashamerideth said:


> I have been criticised by other people for using dialogue to reveal my world to my readers. The characters talk about things that would be common knowledge to them, but foreign to the reader. I don't see their criticism, how often do we talk about mundane things that would reveal our world to an outside reader? Quite often for me.
> 
> People also talk while doing things, dialog beats I think they are called. Everything should be either exposition or moving forward dialog can move forward or expose.



Meh, depends on how it is done.  You character can talk about those things as long as that is something that character would naturally talk about.  As long as you stay true to your character it will not seem fake.


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## CicadaGrrl (Jul 11, 2011)

sashamerideth said:


> I have been criticised by other people for using dialogue to reveal my world to my readers. The characters talk about things that would be common knowledge to them, but foreign to the reader. I don't see their criticism, how often do we talk about mundane things that would reveal our world to an outside reader? Quite often for me.
> 
> People also talk while doing things, dialog beats I think they are called. Everything should be either exposition or moving forward dialog can move forward or expose.



Unless you do it really awkwardly--having them talk about stuff they wouldn't mention--I think this is a GREAT, dynamic way to set up your world.


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## Caged Maiden (Jul 12, 2011)

I think people have different writing styles, and mine seems similar to joe's.  It's boring to read lines and lines of dialogue without the author giving you a clue what's happening.  
If he's confessing his love for her, I want to know that his hand is on her cheek, or is she's standing in the doorway and she's just been berated by her father, I want to know what I am supposed to be imagining in my head.  While one daughter would stand defiantly, arms crossed, another might be standing awkwardly, wiping her sweaty hands on her skirts.  Dialogue is important, and I think far harder to write perfectly than the actions associated with it, so sometimes I just write write write until the words are all there, and then go back and fill in the other stuff.  
It's a mix for me, because sometimes I like to leave out a description to let a reader think what someone's expression is, but if it's a point I'm trying to get across, or a mood I'm trying to create, I tend to be specific.  Here's the beginning of a dialogue that takes up 4 pages:

     Raven woke as a weight shifted next to her.
     She opened her eyes to see Logan sitting on the edge of her bed.
     “What are you doing in here?” she demanded, sitting upright.
     “I have a key,” he said softly.
     “I locked the door because I didn’t want to see you.”
     “I know,” he said, closing his eyes and bowing his head, “but, I owe you an apology and an explanation.”
     “Your words fall on deaf ears, Logan,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest, “I don’t care what you have to say.”
     “Please,” he said, attempting to uncross her arms.        
     “No,” she shouted, snatching her arm away from him.
     “I couldn’t tell them,” he pleaded, “then they would have had you and the location.  I simply couldn’t.”  He hung his head in shame.
     Tears welled in her eyes, and she sniffled.  “You knew,” she whispered, containing her emotions only just.  “You knew everything the whole time.  I don’t even understand how or why you knew...........”

     Obviously this is a conflict, and there is more action to it than if they were just discussing something benign, but I like action.  If I have two girls talking in a field, they'd probably be plucking petals off of flowers, taking off their shoes to feel the grass on their bare feet, shielding their eyes from the bright sun, rolling their eyes in exasperation, laughing rudely....  Even a plain setting and unexciting conversation gives you a chance to let your reader get to know your characters, and a lot of times, actions are the best way to do that.


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