# Hooking the reader in at the start



## Jess A (Nov 19, 2012)

What are your tips for hooking the reader in from the start? What makes you want to read further? Feel free to give examples (but explain them). I was looking through the Showcase forum and a comment I see often is 'I don't feel hooked'. What can be improved?

Something I know I don't like reading is fluffy, happy introductions for the main character. I want some conflict in there! Then some character building.

I'll admit that I skim through books these days rather than relying on the 'hook' chapter (I sometimes read the end first...for shame). But I would still like some advice. For both first chapters and prologues.


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## TWErvin2 (Nov 19, 2012)

Start with something meaningful. A common notion is action or some event. Avoid long descriptions of setting or 'a day in the life' before things go astray.

You can work in character description or setting while the action or important situation is unfolding.

I can give examples from my novels with a link to my website. On this page links to the first chapters of *Flank Hawk *and *Blood Sword *can be found (or they can be found in the Amazon Look Inside feature).

FlankHawkMainPage


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## TWErvin2 (Nov 19, 2012)

Another thing to do is to read the beginning of novels you've enjoyed and study what worked to hook you as a reader and why. Then apply what you learned to your writing style and the project you're beginning.


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## Graylorne (Nov 19, 2012)

My first chapters start with action, too, only where Flank Hawk starts directly with dialogue, are mine more descriptive. I'm old-fashioned, probably. 

You can find the openings of both *Revenaunt *book 1 and of *Scarfar *on my website (see signature), that's easier than posting them here.


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## Grand Lord BungleFic (Nov 19, 2012)

What hooks me more than battles is posing a question that I REALLY want to know the answer to. When I first read Wizards' First Rule I absolutely couldn't put it down because Goodkind really made me want to know who this mysterious woman was.  He drags that particular little mystery out long enough to allow other interesting events to take over.


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## Chilari (Nov 19, 2012)

For me I think I need a character I can care about. I need to know what the character wants, what their motivations for their opening actions are, even if those motivations are redundant by chapter 2. If I don't care about the character, it's oh so easy to put the book down. To make me care, show me something the character wants (and show me that they do want it, through the language you use to describe their actions), how they go about getting it and why it is so important to them.


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## wordwalker (Nov 19, 2012)

Chilari said:


> For me I think I need a character I can care about. I need to know what the character wants, what their motivations for their opening actions are, even if those motivations are redundant by chapter 2. If I don't care about the character, it's oh so easy to put the book down. To make me care, show me something the character wants (and show me that they do want it, through the language you use to describe their actions), how they go about getting it and why it is so important to them.



A good point, but I always think that's partly answering a question with a question: What do people think _makes_ a compelling Chapter One character?


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## Graylorne (Nov 19, 2012)

Off the cuff I'd say:

* they must be in dire need and/or
* they must have high hopes and/or
* they must be shrouded in great mystery and/or

other tastes are also possible.

This means you get first of all hooked by the emotion, only later by the character itself.


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## Chilari (Nov 19, 2012)

wordwalker said:


> A good point, but I always think that's partly answering a question with a question: What do people think _makes_ a compelling Chapter One character?



I think I've half answered that already. A character should want something, there needs to be something they are striving for; it needs to be something the reader can sympathise or empathise with, so in general I'd suggest something personal and universal, something everyone has felt at some time in their life or has seen others feel, like the desire to protect someone, the desire for revenge, the desire to improve their life in some manner, and so on.

Secondly, as well as wanting something, the character should be working towards gaining that thing. Having someone pining for a kitten that they want but they can't have because their landlord doesn't allow pets and so they simply cannot have it (without putting their tenancy at risk) isn't compelling. Someone wanting to be able to afford a better flat where they can have a kitten and deciding to increase their income through selling papier mache scultures is compelling (depending on how it is handled), because we see the link between the character's desires and their actions, and we can all understand the mentality behind working hard for something we want.

Thirdly, there should be an obstacle to achieving the desire. Perhaps the protagonist is having trouble selling the papier mache scultures because a rival has a booming papier mache business and none of the tacky souvenir shops want to buy from the protagonist because she's charging more than their existing supplier. Or perhaps she can't get hold of wire and balloons to use in making the scultures because they cost money and she has none to spare. Or maybe the rent goes up so she now needs to make more papier mache scultures just to cover rent and still can't save up for a desposit on a better apartment. Then she has to overcome these problems. Does she look for ways of getting materials for free? Does she eat less to pay for the wire and balloons or increased rent? Does she decide to spend money she'd saved up for her sister's birthday present on wire and balloons instead of chocolates for her sister? Does she decide to make clay sculptures instead of papier mache so she's not competing with someone who can undercut her?

Okay, my example here is perhaps not the best. But to make a compelling character, I'd say you need a desire which can be empathised with, which the character works hard to attain and and obstacle which makes attaining the desire more difficult are a sound start.

Admittedly it might be difficult to get that all into one chapter, but one way to have that compelling character arc is to have a two-level thing - chapter one, character has desire X, works hard to achieve it, comes up against obstacle Y which leads on to desire Z, achieves desire X by the end of chapter one and then works towards desire Z for the rest of the story.

Having said all that, giving a charatcer a desire, a means to achieve it and an obstacle aren't the be all and end all. the writer needs to demonstrate in the prose that the character wants their desire, not just tell me after the first scene. It needs to fully be part of the narrative, what the character wants, what they are willing to do to achieve it, how it makes them feel when they come up against the obstacle.

This is, of course, all about a character. I'll admit there are other ways of hooking the reader, but I feel that a compelling character is, while not always essential, certainly a powerful tool of pulling the reader in. What it boils down to is leaving the reader with a question that they want answering, a question that they really care about finding out the answer for. So if you want to start with mystery rather than empathy, that can certainly work. With the compelling character route, the queston is "does this character get what they want?" and also "how do they do it?" The answer to the first question can certainly be "no" if it is done well and the "no" spurs the character on to future "yes"es. For a hook involving a mystery, the question might be "who is this mysterious man in black?" or "why is a seemingly inconsequential object so important to the powers that be?"


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## PaulineMRoss (Nov 19, 2012)

For me, there has to be something intriguing, some mystery going on, something that makes me want to know the answer to a question (who, what, why, where, when...). It doesn't matter if the mystery is about a character, or the setting, or the situation, or some action going on, so long as I want to know more about it. I don't need a book to start with intense action, particularly, because I don't care enough about the characters at that point, and I don't mind a bit of description upfront, but do I need to be intrigued.

On compelling characters: I don't know that it's possible for a character to be compelling straight out of the box. Interesting, maybe, but compelling comes from the accumulation of actions and motivations and backstory and personality, which takes a lot more than a few paragraphs, in my view.


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## Ireth (Nov 19, 2012)

I seem to be having trouble with this, judging by what feedback members of this site has given me. I'll definitely be following this thread for any help I can glean from it.


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## Leif Notae (Nov 19, 2012)

The way I see it, you want to start with action. Not Michael Bey "explosions", but something happening. Movement, betrayal, destruction of innocence, something that will resonate with your reader first and foremost. Nothing overboard, but enough to make the barbs stick in. A good prologue can do this while focusing on the villain if you feel your protagonist is too weak to carry a opening, but in the end you must express the stakes and what is normal and what is lost generally in the first few pages. 

Dialogue can get there too, but you never want to open with it. Action seguing into dialogue can work. It is about tension, making people feel it through the almost ungodly torment you send your characters through. This is why most pros are regular people, because they can hook a "regular person" reader in better than a superhero.

Also, if you are thinking about it, make sure your ending matches you beginning. Have the cyclical payoff to really make your story sing. Don't limp into "and they ate potatoes happily ever after" if they never saw a potato in their life. You don't HAVE to do it, but if you tie it in, you will look like a friggin' genius!

EDIT: Addition - Most people can tell if they'll get hooked by the very first line of your work. If it doesn't pass the sniff test, you'll never get them back. This is why your very first words will determine the rest of your manuscript's fate.

A great non-fic book to read on this is "Hooked". I highly recommend it.


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## Feo Takahari (Nov 19, 2012)

I think the advice to start with action can be a little misleading for novice writers--those who attempt it often begin their story in the middle of a fight scene between two characters about whom the reader knows nothing, and whose fighting is therefore meaningless to everyone but the author.

Personally, I think it's best to start with something that defines your focus. I write very character-focused works, so I start with a scene that shows how a particular character acts and thinks. Someone like Isaac Asimov may instead start with a scene that demonstrates an idea, and someone like . . . I dunno, who's really good at world-building? . . . might start with a broad sweep over the location where the story takes place.


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## Ireth (Nov 19, 2012)

Feo Takahari said:


> I think it's best to start with something that defines your focus. I write very character-focused works, so I start with a scene that shows how a particular character acts and thinks.



That's the approach I go for probably all of the time, but that's exactly what people say is not "hooky' enough. you may have read my various edits of the first chapter of _Winter's Queen_ -- the first version especially is very focused on the main two characters and their relationship with each other, hinting how the events to come in the chapter affect them emotionally (the father being stricken with grief and rage at his daughter's kidnapping, the daughter trusting her father to save her and, when he fails, realizing she has to save herself). The most recent version still has that, but I also expand on two minor characters who get only a passing mention in the first couple of versions, and I think the chapter as a whole is better for it. It grounds the book more in reality before the heroine is whisked away into the fantastical world of Faerie.

Still, though, the first five or six pages are a little slower than the rest of the chapter. I personally don't mind it much, since there are hints of dangerous things to come, and when they do come they come quickly. But I feel it's necessary to show the heroine's loving relationship with her father before they're separated for the majority of the rest of the book, and if that requires a calmer scene, then fine. After all, if my readers don't get the sense that these people love and trust each other, how well are they going to empathize with the father's determination to get his daughter back, or the daughter's determination to free herself and find her father?


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## Leif Notae (Nov 19, 2012)

Feo Takahari said:


> I think the advice to start with action can be a little misleading for novice writers--those who attempt it often begin their story in the middle of a fight scene between two characters about whom the reader knows nothing, and whose fighting is therefore meaningless to everyone but the author.
> 
> Personally, I think it's best to start with something that defines your focus. I write very character-focused works, so I start with a scene that shows how a particular character acts and thinks. Someone like Isaac Asimov may instead start with a scene that demonstrates an idea, and someone like . . . I dunno, who's really good at world-building? . . . might start with a broad sweep over the location where the story takes place.



I never said a battle, nor would I recommend it on a first novel. ACTION is the act of doing something. You reveal more about your book through the tone you set the first step out of the gate. If it is about your character putting on their clothes for 16 pages, then you have a slow plodding book that won't retain anyone.


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## PaulineMRoss (Nov 20, 2012)

Leif Notae said:


> Most people can tell if they'll get hooked by the very first line of your work. If it doesn't pass the sniff test, you'll never get them back. This is why your very first words will determine the rest of your manuscript's fate.



I'm glad I'm not an aspiring author reading this comment, because, honestly, it's enough to scare anyone back to the day job. You have precisely ONE line to hook a reader? EEK. I don't know about publishers, maybe they only read the first line of a book before making a decision, but I read a couple of pages, at least, and often more (assuming I've got far enough in the will-I-like-it process to start reading at all, that is).



> A great non-fic book to read on this is "Hooked". I highly recommend it.



An entire book about (essentially) writing a single line - awesome!


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## Jess A (Nov 20, 2012)

This is some fantastic advice and a great discussion. Thank you all, and thank you for the links to your novels. I did get distracted by TWErvin's character quiz - I got Krish, in case you're wondering. 

There are lots of good points to address here. To start with I will point out some comments regarding 'action', setting and characterisation. I agree that it doesn't necessarily mean a battle. What I mean is something is happening. Something to introduce the character to me. But I also favour a little 'setting' sweep. I picked up a Kate Forsyth book after reading this thread - a random pick off my shelf, and I notice that she introduces the character straight away. Through the character's eyes she describes the setting:



> The girl crouched on the stone ledge, hugging her cloak of furs and skins close against the bite of the night. ... She set her gaze resolutely to the east, where the snow-swollen river ran headlong towards the unknown future, towards freedom and the sea.



(_The Tower of Ravens_, Kate Forsyth).

This reflects the character's desires. She incorporates action (maybe conflict or events is a better way to put it?) into the first chapter as well as the character's thoughts an fears, and she introduces the setting.

---

Leif mentioned the 'hook' one-liner. In hard news writing that would be a 'lead' paragraph and its importance is clear. But when I come to read a novel, I will skim through various chapters of a book before I decide whether to read it or not. I realise my readers may not be as happy to spoil half the story as I am, so I will be aiming to make my first chapter gripping. 

Another good point was the beginning linking to the end. I'd better work out how mine does that - I have once again reworked most of the plot of my novel, so that is something I can look forward to sorting out early on.

Presenting a mystery/question is also a good one. My favourite part about reading a book is drinking in the story to find the answer to something. Sometimes I lose interest as soon as I've found that answer, if no other mysteries are presented. I always try to put a bit of mystery in but have had a lot of problems because I always struggle on when to reveal what the mystery is - and how to reveal it. I think I need to improve on my writing style to give my 'mystery' paragraphs more atmosphere. 

---

On the novel examples.

TWErvin: Illustrates some action and character introduction. I'm not writing mine in first person, but I can see what you mean. Certainly descriptive enough to make me feel a bit squeamish, by the way.

Graylorne: Also an interesting introduction. Of course, I couldn't help scanning down at the other chapters, too, as I would in any novel I pick up. I also like describing the setting, which is something I see often in first chapters.


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## Kit (Nov 20, 2012)

I think of a first line as the scenery going by in the side window of my car. 

I spend a lot of time in the car, and a lot of scenery passes by. Some of it is pretty, some of it is ugly, much of it is redundant and indifferent. It's not until something catches the corner of my eye that makes me go,   "???"  that I'll turn my head for a double-take.

I want the first line of my stories to have that "???" factor. I can't garantee that you'll like my MC, or find my scenery pretty, or be interested in the fistfight that's going on over in the corner.... But the "???" is universal- and almost irresistable.


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## Steerpike (Nov 20, 2012)

I like a good first line as well.

I agree with those who say an opening question is most effective. You don't have an emotional connection yet, when you're dealing with the opening sentences of your novel, so you need an intellectual connection. Raising a compelling question is important. I say "compelling" because the mere fact that a question is raised, alone, is not enough. This is particularly true when the question raised is of a type that has been raised many, many times before in fiction. For example, a dead body in the first paragraph isn't interesting by itself anymore, even though it obviously raises a lot of questions. It has simply been done too many times. But if you couple that dead body with a few unusual circumstances or unexpected bits of evidence that signal to your reader that something out of the ordinary is going on, then you've got a good hook. 

Regardless of which questions you raise or how you raise them, I think you need the initial intellectual hook. Once you've got that, you will keep the reader around long enough to form the connections with your characters and make the reader care about what is at stake in the story (assuming your writing is good).


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## BWFoster78 (Nov 20, 2012)

Here's some advice about the first line that I typically follow:

1. Introduce a character by name - Readers tend to identfy with characters, not events and setting.  A battle has no significance unless we know what it means to a character.  Get us into that character's head early.

2. Introduce some action (no "is" or "was") that will make the reader want to know what is happening or indicates that the character is in some danger - From a short story I'm writing, first line, "Clark balanced atop an icy precipice."  

3. Put the line all by itself in a paragraph to make it stand out more.

Obviously, there are some great openings that don't follow that advice, but I find it to be effective.


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## wordwalker (Nov 20, 2012)

BWFoster78 said:


> 3. Put the line all by itself in a paragraph to make it stand out more.



I especially like this one. The very start should be at most a short-ish paragraph, a hook that's easy to take in one bite.

One variation of this is to put it in intense dialog-- if it's soon followed by description, not just the start of some loud talking heads. (My current WIP starts with simply _"Dammit, Angie--"_ and then the description of how the hero's running for his life.)


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## Jabrosky (Nov 20, 2012)

I try to write the first line or paragraph as "hooky" as possible. The real trick is anticipating exactly what will hook people in. I agree that starting with action can help, but sometimes you need to set up the scene and main character before getting into the heart of the action.


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## Jess A (Nov 21, 2012)

Kit: That's an intriguing way to put it. It's trying to figure out what that exciting thing outside the car window should be.

Steerpike: Good point on the characters. I like to read a book which starts with a question, too. But if the characters fail to compel me after I've answered the question, I tend to lose interest. I'm already considering what 'question' I can ask. I haven't even started writing the first chapter yet. 

I know it's such a broad genre, but what 'questions' or broad general questions can people think of in books that have been asked before? 

BWFoster: Ah now that is something I've considered a lot. Naming them from the start, or saying 'the girl' 'the creature'. I notice Forsyth doesn't introduce her main character's name. In fact, a lot of books don't at all. But when I try to write that way, I find I don't really like not having the name there (maybe my writing is just too messy), so I am looking at introducing characters straight away by name. 

Wordwalker/BWFoster: You mean beginning with a very short paragraph? To make it visually stand out as well?

Jabrosky: Or do all three? I've seen people try to do that before.


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## Caged Maiden (Nov 21, 2012)

We hd an opening line thread a while ago.  Here's the opening lines to my books:  http://mythicscribes.com/forums/writing-questions/4314-great-openings-classic-fantasy-2.html

I like to switch it up, sometimes setting the scene, sometimes introducing the character's current situation.  It depends on what's going on a the novel starts.  

HAHA Sometimes I think when I read my older work, I delete the first couple pages off the top, because it seems to me, I almost need to get a running start, and the first couple pages are uninteresting descriptions, and just need to be cut.  

One thing i whole-heartedly agree with is that a fight in the first paragraph is uninteresting.  I'd rather see someone trying to talk their way out of a fight, and then see the conflict erupt, because at least that way, I get to know the character.  If the story starts with fist blows... it just seems disconnected to me.

I don't know whether my opening lines are "hooky" enough to make for an interesting read for those people who only read one line, but I sincerely hope they set the tone from the beginning.  Like I said, I like to mix it up, but I'm not sure which re the most successful.

One thing I'm really struggling with right now, is in one novel, I tell the whole story from a character's perspective, who is not in on any of the secrets, so the whole first chapter is the background info, the events set in motion, through two other Pov's.  I'm not sure how to overcome this, because people have suggested I cut the whole first chapter... but how then do I tell a reader why any of the events are happening?


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## wordwalker (Nov 21, 2012)

Little Storm Cloud said:


> Wordwalker/BWFoster: You mean beginning with a very short paragraph? To make it visually stand out as well?



Yes, a short or a pretty short one. And I think "stand out" is an understatement for how much a paragraph will jump at the reader if it's the very start, and short, and a single exciting unit. Using a midsized or larger paragraph there is *such* a waste of an opportunity-- and right at the one point you want to be beyond positive that your reader keeps reading.

(Besides, once you've set the hook the next paragraphs can be longer to reel things in.)


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## BWFoster78 (Nov 21, 2012)

wordwalker said:


> Yes, a short or a pretty short one. And I think "stand out" is an understatement for how much a paragraph will jump at the reader if it's the very start, and short, and a single exciting unit. Using a midsized or larger paragraph there is *such* a waste of an opportunity-- and right at the one point you want to be beyond positive that your reader keeps reading.
> 
> (Besides, once you've set the hook the next paragraphs can be longer to reel things in.)



Exactly.

After that first line, I think the keys are to:

1. Give contextual clues as to the situation the character is in without overexplaining.
2. Let the reader know how the character feels about the situation.

The important takeaway, IMO, is that the scene has no meaning to the reader except through the lens of the character.  This is so important.  In fact, it's so important, I'm going to state it again: Nothing in your story, especially at the beginning, is going to have impact unless the reader is seeing it through the emotional filter of a character.  

If you want to engage the reader from the beginning:

1. Introduce a character immediately.
2. Put that character in a situation that provokes a change in that character's life.
3. Show the reader what that situation means to the character.

A caveat, however (one that's already been mentioned in this thread but could stand to be emphasized): You are not going to get a huge emotional impact in your first scene.  Again, readers gain emotional context from the character.  At the start of your novel, the reader doesn't know the character enough to feel what that character is feeling.  If you think that showing the character's parent/lover/child dying in the first chapter is going to have your reader bawling, you're probably mistaken.  You have to give the reader time to develop a bond with the character if you want that kind of connection.


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## Graylorne (Nov 21, 2012)

BWFoster78 said:


> Exactly.
> 
> After that first line, I think the keys are to:
> 
> ...




I agree with you in general, but not as a golden rule. My *Scarfar* book starts with the event that will change the lives of a great many people, but it is seen through the eyes of an unknown watchman. I introduce my two main characters later in that same chapter, one after another, each as they react to the initial results of the said event.

The point of any emotional impact is indeed important to remember. It would be wasteful of an emotional scene to put it at the very beginning.


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## BWFoster78 (Nov 21, 2012)

> Problem is, that I agree with you in general, but not as a golden rule.



I didn't mean to imply that my suggestion is the only way to engage the reader.  Some authors can draw in the reader by voice alone.  I'm definitely not at that point in my writing skill.

If you're finding that your beginning is not working, I think the technique I outlined is a good place to start in trying to fix it.


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## Graylorne (Nov 21, 2012)

BWFoster78 said:


> I didn't mean to imply that my suggestion is the only way to engage the reader.  Some authors can draw in the reader by voice alone.  I'm definitely not at that point in my writing skill.
> 
> If you're finding that your beginning is not working, I think the technique I outlined is a good place to start in trying to fix it.




Thanks for the clarification. I completely agree with you.


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## Leif Notae (Nov 21, 2012)

It is entertaining to read some of these responses, the thread is really getting some interesting concepts going.

Naming in the beginning is more clunky than anything. The flow should be natural. Granting a name and have everything hanging on it is awkward at times. Granted, it CAN work, but you have to work hard at it.

One line sentences as paragraphs are not "flowy" either (yes, I worded there). It's like driving 80 mph for one foot and then slamming on the brakes. You want to maintain a good flow throughout the first paragraph into the first few pages. The start/stop thing can leave people in the lurch or even make them angry.

Ireth's thread in the Showcase forum has a response that makes more sense than anything: Start your story as close to the end as you possibly can. Tension always makes with the interesting.

The overall thing is don't be the writer that others have to apply a rule of thumb to you. "Oh, X is a great writer, but you have to give them X pages before they get their point across." or "X does a great job, but they can't pull off a good opening."


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## BWFoster78 (Nov 21, 2012)

> Naming in the beginning is more clunky than anything. The flow should be natural. Granting a name and have everything hanging on it is awkward at times. Granted, it CAN work, but you have to work hard at it.
> 
> One line sentences as paragraphs are not "flowy" either



Leif,

Your viewpoint seems to be that "flow" trumps everything.

My opinion differs significantly.  I pretty much consider "flow" to be a nebulous concept.  The perception of it, to me, changes based on the reader and the time of the day.  I'd hate to base much of my writing on it.


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## Caged Maiden (Nov 21, 2012)

While flow is more important in transitions and in the context of chapters, it's important to pace the opening scene for maximum impact.  Too many details, and you run the risk of boring your reader, and too few and you don't connect.  

It's a slippery slope, and sometimes I think people overlook the importance of the beginning.


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## BWFoster78 (Nov 21, 2012)

Caged Maiden said:


> While flow is more important in transitions and in the context of chapters, it's important to pace the opening scene for maximum impact.  Too many details, and you run the risk of boring your reader, and too few and you don't connect.
> 
> It's a slippery slope, and sometimes I think people overlook the importance of the beginning.



I'm still going with the opinion that flow doesn't matter all that much.  I'll read something one day, and it sounds off.  The next, it'll sound fine.  Reading as a reader, I never notice it at all unless the writing is horrid, and, if the writing is that bad, I'll have put the work down for other reasons.  Story and character trump flow completely, in my opinion.


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## Anders Ã„mting (Nov 21, 2012)




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## Caged Maiden (Nov 21, 2012)

I'm not saying the beginning has to be awesome... but I've read enough books, and enough in the showcase, to know that sometimes, people enter into a novel just a hair too early or a hair too late, and while it doesn't necessarily ruin my experience, I think it's a missed opportunity.  I'm not saying I've mastered this part of writing, but I've read things that leave me utterly confused, and I just never seem to get over it, and tend to put the book down.  I think when you read a story with a really good opening, it sets you up for a good story, and you can forgive a beginning info dump, whereas a weak beginning, followed by an info dump, is usually a fatal decision for me.


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## Jess A (Nov 21, 2012)

Leif Notae said:


> Ireth's thread in the Showcase forum has a response that makes more sense than anything: Start your story as close to the end as you possibly can. Tension always makes with the interesting.



Yes I saw that. I thought it was a good point.

Here is the thread in question on Ireth's Showcase: http://mythicscribes.com/forums/showcase/4848-rethinking-my-opening-scene-5.html


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## Anders Ã„mting (Nov 21, 2012)

Been skimming this thread, and I have to say, aren't we overthinking this a bit?

We are basically just talking about making the story interesting from the start as opposed to six or seven chapters in, yes? As long as you achieve that, I don't see how the exact method matters much. 

This sounds obvious and probably not very helpful, but I don't think it needs to be much more complicated. I have myself made the mistake of writing some first chapters that does little more than introduce characters and cautiously set the plot in motion. Thinking about it, I imagine the trick is to write the first chapter so that it is fun and interesting to read in and of itself.


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## Jess A (Nov 21, 2012)

Anders Ã„mting said:


> Been skimming this thread, and I have to say, aren't we overthinking this a bit?
> 
> We are basically just talking about making the story interesting from the start as opposed to six or seven chapters in, yes? As long as you achieve that, I don't see how the exact method matters much.
> 
> This sounds obvious and probably not very helpful, but I don't think it needs to be much more complicated. I have myself made the mistake of writing some first chapters that does little more than introduce characters and cautiously set the plot in motion. Thinking about it, I imagine the trick is to write the first chapter so that it is fun and interesting to read in and of itself.



Probably. But I think we over-analyse almost everything on this forum  It's partly because there are so many differing opinions on subjects. I really just wanted some basics, and I have gleaned what I need from here, but if people are happy to continue discussing it, then that's great. Everybody can get something out of it, I am sure.


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## Kit (Nov 21, 2012)

People's attention spans are getting shorter and shorter. With every "missed opportunity" (as CM puts it) in the first few pages, you lose an additional percentage of your potential readers.


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## Anders Ã„mting (Nov 22, 2012)

Kit said:


> People's attention spans are getting shorter and shorter. With every "missed opportunity" (as CM puts it) in the first few pages, you lose an additional percentage of your potential readers.



What is a "missed opportunity" exactly? That you didn't write that one paragraph as well as you could have?

You are supposed to do your best all the time _anyway._ Should you write with good flow and rythm? Well yes, actually, you should. Should you try to get the readers interested and intrigued by what is going on? Yeah, that probably helps. Should you make the characters interesting and engaging?  _Of course_ you should! Why would you ever_ not _do that? 

What else? Someone made the point that you need to make sure the first sentence is awesome, because there are supposedly people who think it is reasonable to judge an entire work of fiction on the very first impression? I don't buy it. Oh, I'm sure people like that exist but do you really think the average reader is _that _absurdly picky? You are going to have to show me some hard statistics if you want me to believe that.

And you know what? Even if that's true, you are going to lose some of those guys anyway. I guarantee it. You will never write a starting sentence with 100% reader retainment, simply because different people have wildy different ideas of what is interesting. The best you can hope for is probably to luck out and appeal to the majority of these sentence snobs. (Plus, you know, all the people who actually read more than the first five words before discarding a book.)

Heck, speaking of statistics, here's something you can do: Go to the library and get a big stack of best-selling fantasy books (the first of their respective series if applicable), check all the first sentences and see if they have anything in common. At least then you have math on your side.


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## Jess A (Nov 22, 2012)

Anders Ã„mting said:


> Heck, speaking of statistics, here's something you can do: Go to the library and get a big stack of best-selling fantasy books (the first of their respective series if applicable), check all the first sentences and see if they have anything in common. At least then you have math on your side.



Yes, we've all probably done that. The first thing I do is go to my shelf and check some examples. But the purpose of this thread (for me) was to see what common threads other readers had noticed in first chapters in books they had read or written. The question for me has been answered some time ago. 

We are all diverse readers and there are so many diverse opinions. It is a great thing that people are willing to discuss things in such depth here, even if I got what I wanted a couple of pages ago. I think it is an important topic, even if I am one those annoying people who stands near the bookshelves (in my own shop sometimes) scanning through various chapters and even reading the end of the book before I decide whether I want to invest my limited time in reading it thoroughly.


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## Kit (Nov 22, 2012)

Anders Ã„mting said:


> What else? Someone made the point that you need to make sure the first sentence is awesome, because there are supposedly people who think it is reasonable to judge an entire work of fiction on the very first impression? I don't buy it. Oh, I'm sure people like that exist but do you really think the average reader is _that _absurdly picky? You are going to have to show me some hard statistics if you want me to believe that.
> 
> And you know what? Even if that's true, you are going to lose some of those guys anyway. I guarantee it. You will never write a starting sentence with 100% reader retainment, simply because different people have wildy different ideas of what is interesting. The best you can hope for is probably to luck out and appeal to the majority of these sentence snobs. (Plus, you know, all the people who actually read more than the first five words before discarding a book.)



It's not necessarily about being "absurdly picky", it's about 1)the general ADD nature of today's society combined with 2)an overload of options, especially now with digital media.  

Picking out something to read these days is like trying to drink from a fire hose. THAT'S why you MUST grab readers hard by the throat with the very first sentence.


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## Jess A (Nov 22, 2012)

Kit said:


> It's not necessarily about being "absurdly picky", it's about 1)the general ADD nature of today's society combined with 2)an overload of options, especially now with digital media.
> 
> Picking out something to read these days is like trying to drink from a fire hose. THAT'S why you MUST grab readers hard by the throat with the very first sentence.



Another point here is that a lot of people offer first chapters as teasers on Kindle editions.


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## TWErvin2 (Nov 22, 2012)

I don't believe you have to grab the reader by the throat in the very first sentence, but by the end of the first few paragraphs or page, the reader is going to be making some assumptions and decisions. Also, if your goal is to find an agent/publisher, they often decide based on the first page. Maybe they can decide by the first sentence to reject it if it's very poorly written, for whatever reason.

Over the years I've spoken with editors at both small and large publishing houses (one of the neat things about attending/being a guest at writing conferences and also SF/Fantasy Cons). There isn't one single process they go through. I remember one editor at Tor, for example, said he begins with the first three chapters in the submission package. If he gets through the first three chapters, he'll look at the synopsis to see where the novel goes. Then if still interested, it's the cover letter. Another editor, he said, reads the letter first, and if interested, then will try the first few pages, then go for the synopsis. At any part of any of the stages, they may immediately stop (even after the first three lines) and send out the form rejection. Then it's the next submission in the stack's turn.


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## Zireael (Dec 2, 2012)

> 1. Introduce a character immediately.
> 2. Put that character in a situation that provokes a change in that character's life.
> 3. Show the reader what that situation means to the character.



I tried to do that in my story, yet I am told I need to improve...


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## Addison (Dec 2, 2012)

I think Writer's Digest has an article about this. If I could find the link I'd post it. What I remember from classes about hooks is that: begin with an action. Introduce the character as quickly as you can. Bring the readers into the first conflict as soon as you can. Begin with active prose. 

   And what doesn't work is: starting with a dialogue (the reader won't know who's talking to who or why) 
   Don't start with the character waking up from an alarm clock. (mundane, cliche)
   Don't start with a flashback or a dream. (Eventually you come to present and the reader is either confused or let down because the flashback/dream was exciting)
    Don't start with passive voice.
    Don't start in the middle of a conflict. (Unless the character is getting thrown out of a bar, a conflict not integral to the story, then okay.) 

Once I find the link on Writer's Digest website I'll post it.


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## Jess A (Dec 3, 2012)

Great stuff, Addison. I think the link will be incredibly useful to a lot of us. I am going to leave the start until I am 100% sure on how I want to begin. I am starting further in the book. It's the same advice given for almost anything. Scientific writing - do the introduction last. Journalism - write the lead paragraph last.


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## Addison (Dec 3, 2012)

Here's the link. (I'll post other useful links later)  How to Write a Great Opening Line | WritersDigest.com

I read, or heard from a teacher, that you do't have to start writing your story from the beginning. You can start wherever the story begins in your head and fill in the blanks as you go.


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## Leif Notae (Dec 3, 2012)

Addison said:


> I read, or heard from a teacher, that you do't have to start writing your story from the beginning. You can start wherever the story begins in your head and fill in the blanks as you go.



There are a lot of writers that wait until the piece is over before they work on the first sentence. Some can even finish the entire work and let it sit for six months to a year before hitting that right one...


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## Guru Coyote (Dec 4, 2012)

There is a very good reason to finish the work before you compose the opening line(s): 
In the first sentence or paragraph, the central question of the narrative is set up. And how can you know what for sure, what the whole thing is about, before you have it all written?

In regards to "hooking the reader," I think all these rules are nice if you see them as guidelines. The one most important thing is this tho: The reader must be intrigued, have a question he/she hopes the following story will answer. As such, as long as you can set up this intriguing mystery at the start, you are good.

One of the "rules" mentioned before that I tend to disagree with for example is the "don't start with dialog." This is a good advice if you are new and not sure you can pull it off without comfusing the reader. But I've seen it done to great success (see intriguing mystery above) in many cases.

As in so many things, this is always a balance. You are balancing between "intriguing mystery" and "confusing the reader." I guess good advice would be to try and stay on the safe side and just add "a bit of mystery."


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## Jess A (Dec 5, 2012)

Agreed - as I mentioned above, writing the first line (or introduction) last can be useful in journalism and academic writing as well. I tend to write a basic one out, then come back and change it or re-write it. Sometimes writing a basic introduction can get me started, even if I'm going to discard it later. Which is almost inevitable in my experience


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## Guru Coyote (Dec 5, 2012)

Little Storm Cloud said:


> Agreed - as I mentioned above, writing the first line (or introduction) last can be useful in journalism and academic writing as well. I tend to write a basic one out, then come back and change it or re-write it. Sometimes writing a basic introduction can get me started, even if I'm going to discard it later. Which is almost inevitable in my experience


Yeah, you need to start somewhere! 

Which reminds me... one of my best openings actually got me totally stuck with one story. Thing is, as an opening sets the tone for the story to come, in this case I managed to set the tone so that it's very hard to continue... my story needs character interaction, but the opening set the tone for a very ananymous and paranoid society... Continuing in that tone would make for a solo adventure, and that's not what I want the story to be. Time to kill a darling here.


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## Jess A (Dec 5, 2012)

Guru Coyote said:


> Yeah, you need to start somewhere!
> 
> Which reminds me... one of my best openings actually got me totally stuck with one story. Thing is, as an opening sets the tone for the story to come, in this case I managed to set the tone so that it's very hard to continue... my story needs character interaction, but the opening set the tone for a very ananymous and paranoid society... Continuing in that tone would make for a solo adventure, and that's not what I want the story to be. Time to kill a darling here.



Indeed. Slice its head off before you lose your nerve  

I've had to cut enormous amounts of stuff I consider to be well-written. But do you find sometimes stories go in directions you don't want - almost automatically? I find it happens when I write in a fit of muse and don't actually think about what I am doing properly. The characters and such control my pen! I then read it back and decide that it wasn't the direction I wanted to take the character or the story.


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## Graylorne (Dec 5, 2012)

Little Storm Cloud said:


> Indeed. Slice its head off before you lose your nerve
> 
> I've had to cut enormous amounts of stuff I consider to be well-written. But do you find sometimes stories go in directions you don't want - almost automatically? I find it happens when I write in a fit of muse and don't actually think about what I am doing properly. The characters and such control my pen! I then read it back and decide that it wasn't the direction I wanted to take the character or the story.



Funny, this happens to me quite often and most of the time I go with what my characters want. As long as the final ending stays the same.


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## Jess A (Dec 5, 2012)

Graylorne said:


> Funny, this happens to me quite often and most of the time I go with what my characters want. As long as the final ending stays the same.



That's lucky, then. I find sometimes it just moves in the wrong direction. Sometimes it works well and I ride along with it. But there are definitely times when I read back and think 'that seems out of character' or 'it's not going to serve the plot, what was I thinking?!'. But I tend to write at night before bed, and I find that whilst it is when I have the most muse to write (and often the only time I get in the day to write), I am generally also very tired.


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## Rullenzar (Dec 5, 2012)

I agree with coming back and reworking your idea at the end. However, you need to start somewhere and often times you need to come up with something just so you can start writing. Once you've started to write everything starts to fall into place and that one piece of the puzzle that was eluding you at the start slowly peeks its head over the writers mountains.


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