# What's in these names?



## Gryphos (Apr 8, 2015)

*Pikeman Glaive*

*Jerk Salmon*

*Eldridge Wetnyrse*

So often I end up coming up with names, which then inspires me to develop characters to attach them to. Here are some recent examples. And, just for funsies, I'd like to know what people think of when they read these names. What kind of person do you imagine Pikeman Glaive, Jerk Salmon and Eldridge Wetnyrse being?


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## Garren Jacobsen (Apr 8, 2015)

Pikeman Glaive- Soldier by profession and a leader of a group of pikemen. One long scar running across his face from a noble's sword slash, he killed the noble. Loves his drink, preferably the alcoholic kind. Gambler, mean to idiots friendly to not idiots. He's a stab first ask questions later kind of guy.

Jerk Salmon-He's a jerk in the Gastonish variety. Athletic, handsome, but a jerk. He enjoys all the manly pursuits of hunting and fishing. He also is a noble.

Eldridge Wenyrse- Farm boy that is the bastard son of a Lord Eldridge from Westington. He's charming kind and is a lady's man. He is skilled with a bow staff. Wants to meet his noble father (who is less noble than you think). Eventually joins the military to get out of his provincial town, which he'll move back to after all the fighting and what not.


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## Reilith (Apr 8, 2015)

Pikeman Glaive - A man in his forties, receding hairline, gray hair, a monocle, long nose curved downward to his mouth, with a gray mustache, always in a grey suit with gloves and a walking cane. Has extremely flat head to the sides so his face seems narrow.Oh, and a top hat. Always looks like something smelly's under his nose.

Jerk Salmon - A thuggish man, thirties, likes to brawl, relies on brute strength, cracked his skull once, but cracked many more of others during his lifetime. Tan, bulky, with a raggedy scar across his face from a knife fight, likes to punch women. Hates to eat fish.

Eldridge Wenyrse - A young tomboyish girl, from the countryside, always wearing dirty clothes and a straw-hat, hates being called bun her full name. Has dreams of becoming the first female military captain. Has freckles and auburn hair in two braids, a perky nose and defiant blue eyes. Has a tiny problem with kleptomania.


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## Nimue (Apr 8, 2015)

All I can think is that these are names that a soldier, a fisherman, and a vicar gave to their own penises.

I don't know why.  Please pray for me.


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## Legendary Sidekick (Apr 8, 2015)

Nimue said:


> All I can think is that these are names that a soldier, a fisherman, and a vicar gave to their own penises.
> 
> I don't know why.  Please pray for me.


Now I can't unsee it. Not even needles through the eyes can save me.

@Nimue, I was trying to press the "thanks, I think" button, but it just came up as regular thanks.


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## Legendary Sidekick (Apr 8, 2015)

Nimue said:


> names … [given] to their own penises.


*Dick Riddick*


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## Garren Jacobsen (Apr 8, 2015)

This went off the rails fast.


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## spectre (Apr 8, 2015)

Pikeman Glaive - coffee and donuts

Jerk Salmon - dinner with a mad fisherman

Eldridge Wetnyrse - absynthe


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## Ophiucha (Apr 8, 2015)

Pikeman Glaive - A Kurt Russell-sort of man. He's getting too old to be a soldier, but he doesn't have a wife or kids to take care of him in his old age, so he figures he'll just keep fighting. He may be a commoner, and only has a first name (Glaive) as a result.

Jerk Salmon - A Jamaican, probably. Old, wise, smoky voice. The sort of man who makes decisions without explaining why, and sometimes they come across as cruel, but people know it's going to work out. He always knows what's right. Possibly a religious leader? He still smiles every time someone makes a joke about his name, even though he's heard them all before.

Eldridge Wetnyrse - Well, this one just makes me think of a wetnurse with eyes a colour outside of the normal spectrum and tentacles on her chest that secrete what looks like milk, maybe tastes like it too, but the babies in her care never seem to grow up _right_.


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## Gryphos (Aug 27, 2015)

I'm gonna resurrect this because I like seeing what people think of when they see a name. So how do you imagine the bearers of these names?

*Erwin E. Erwindaughter*

*Hunter Butcher*


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## Cambra (Aug 28, 2015)

Pikeman Glaive? Sharp!

Eldritch Wetnyse? Very very old... One of the nonnas


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## valiant12 (Aug 29, 2015)

Pikeman Glaive-  There is a dude with similar name in my main WiP. He is one of my least favorite characters

Jerk Salmon- He is a fisherman's son, work as a mercenary and is a foreigner in the place where he lives. his favorite weapon is a pair of daggers. he left his home country to find a secret artefact stolen from his village.

Eldridge Wetnyrse- Women. Work as a babysitter, taking care of some annoying princess. She was the girls wet-nurse and now the girl is one of the most powerful mages in the world. Also, she has purple eyes that glow in the dark.


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## psychotick (Aug 29, 2015)

Hi,

Sorry, but for me the first thing I think when I hear them is that they all sound obviously made up.

Pikeman Glaive - both pikes and glaives are weapons. How many people do you know called Sword Spear? I could live with Pikeman as a surname though- save that it would be aweful if Mr. Pikeman was actually a pikeman!

Jerk Salmon - Oh my God! Has no one ever heard of jerked chicken?! But even if you got rid of the salmon part naming some poor child Jerk would be cruel and unusual. To be fair though I once did a salmonellosis follow up with a child called Kobra - named by her father after his truck radio! He also had sons Harley and Norton.

Eldridge Wetnyrse - No matter how many times I try I can't get past the Wetnurse part. Have you not seen the Blackadder series set with Liz the raving mad and her wetnurse?

Erwin E Erwindaughter - presumably the middle E is also for Erwin? And there's another issue. Since no man would ever accept being called "daughter" Erwin must be a girl's name. But very few cultures accept mother's names as the surname handed down to children.

As for Hunter Butcher - have you met his brother Baker Candlestickmaker?

Cheers, Greg.


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## Gryphos (Aug 29, 2015)

psychotick said:


> Hi,
> 
> Sorry, but for me the first thing I think when I hear them is that they all sound obviously made up.
> 
> ...



Oh yeah, I'm not trying to make these realistic names that people could actually have. I just want memorable and interesting names. I mean, come on, it's fantasy! If we can have Aragorn and Kvothe, we can have some Erwin E. Erwindaughter (and yes, the E does stand for Erwin. His name is Erwin Erwin Erwindaughter).

Speaking of Erwindaughter, I intended for it to be a deliberate alteration to the formula of how some surnames end in 'son'. Seeing as in our world those names originally meant 'son of ...' and then just turned into unisex surnames, it'll be similar in this world perhaps. Erwindaugher originally meant 'daughter of Erwin', but over time has just evolved into a general, unisex surname.

As for Hunter Butcher, I'm thinking that I'll have it be a running theme in her family for their first names to be professions ending in 'er'. I think she'll have a sister called Fletcher Butcher and a father called Archer Butcher.

I like to have fun with names.


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## The Stranger (Aug 29, 2015)

Pikeman Glaive- A rough necked kind of man with a brutish attitude. he was a war veteran at one point but he was kicked out for drinking too much. of course, he was a pike man and still has his spear from the war.

Jerk Salmon- A shrewd little man who grew up in the fishing slums of a big city. he is not very attractive and gets by mostly on petty crimes and thievery. He has a long criminal record but is not a dangerous criminal.

Eldridge Wetnyrse- A young boy, very effeminate in nature whom is raised as a girl. His parents call him "Elly" in front of others. This is because in their land, every boy is taken at a very young age off to the military. Eldridge doesn't even seem to be aware of his own gender, as he had been raised female so long that he knew nothing else.


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## Jay_Ehm (Aug 30, 2015)

*Pikeman Glaive:* A sturdily-built, no-nonsense old man. He can have a bit of a prickly attitude, but when things take a turn for the worse he's the kind of guy you want holding the line. He comes from a long line of soldiers and mercenaries, but he himself is a weapon crafter. 

*Jerk Salmon:* A rude and crass kayaker who has a long face and odd overbite that make him resemble the titular fish that provides his surname. He often spends his time making terrible jokes about other people. He is very determined, however, and likes to defy the impossible when it comes to his favorite sport.

*Eldridge Wetnyrse:* Poor Eldridge Wetnyrse. All throughout school he was teased for his last name- _"Eh, Wetnyrse, suckle any good babies lately?"_ Eldridge is very caring and compassionate towards almost everyone he meets despite that, and will go the extra mile to help his friends. He has an eye for recognizing people's talents and helping those talents flourish and grow.

*Erwin E. Erwindaughter:* Erwin E. Erwindaughter doesn't really like his name, either. He comes from an important family, but is their only child. Therefore, they piled as many Erwins into his name as they possibly could. People who don't know him personally often assume he's a woman due to his last name and it leads to a lot of situations where he angrily corrects them. He is set to inherit his father's vast fortunes, but would rather be his own person and live his ideal, eccentric, but adventurous own life. And before you ask, yes, the middle initial stands for Erwin as well. 

*Hunter Butcher:* _Everyone_ wants to be Hunter Butcher. She's cool, sexy, badass- she has it all. Just the sight of her makes even the manliest man question his masculinity, and other women to grow mighty beards. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but she does have quite a reputation to hold up. She's a Ranger, and always insists on working alone. A true Lone Wolf.


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## Shreddies (Aug 30, 2015)

*Pikeman Glaive* - His father, Glaive Senior, was a traumatized military officer who was hit in the head a few too many times. And when asked what they should name him, he replied: 'PIKEMEN!!' But that was plural and unsuitable for a young boy's name. Thus, after giving him his medicine, they settled on Pike_man_.

*Jerk Salmon* - The child of Rascal (Ras) and Hooligan (Hooli) Salmon. His parents had high hopes for him, and dreamed of the day that he would take over the family business.

*Hunter Butcher* - Butcher, formerly known as Butcher Butcher, was the youngest child of a long line of proud butchers. But he felt unsatisfied. Butchering dead animals was not enough, he wanted something more! He wanted to hunt them down, too! When he told his parents this. 'Sacrilege!' They replied. Butcher's father, Butcher Butcher Senior the Third, disowned him, saying: 'I'm taking back the name I gave you!' Thus, Butcher lost his name. One of them, anyway. He set off to become the best hunter in the land, and after a few years of apprenticing, he succeeded. He possessed legendary skill and hunted every animal in the kingdom to near extinction. The people called him: 'Hunter Butcher' (actually, they usually called him 'That lunatic with the bow', but never to his face, that would be rude)

*Eldridge Wetnyrse* - Chthulhu in an apron. (Eldridge Wetnyrse - Eldritch Wetnurse) *I can't unsee it!!*


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## Gryphos (Aug 31, 2015)

So on the subject of two of these stupid names, I've decided to use Erwin E. Erwindaughter and Hunter Butcher in a story, and the names have already provided much opportunity for banter.

Hunter Butcher is a knight, and Erwin is her squire.



> She looked at him with green eyes and shook her head. “Erwin E. Erwindaughter… I’ll never get over how stupid your name is.”
> 
> Erwin raised an eyebrow. “Says Hunter Butcher. Where’s your brother, Baker Candlestickmaker?”
> 
> “He’s just announced his engagement to Benjamin _f*ckyouandgogetmemyshieldsquire_.” She gave Erwin a wide smile. “It’s a very old and noble bloodline”


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## Gryphos (Mar 25, 2016)

Let's bring this back, because I've thought of some weird names. What do you imagine when you see the names:

*Jackary Cheiss*

*Connor Fectionary*

*Wankers Dumboll*

*Mr. Danklaw*


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## ThinkerX (Mar 27, 2016)

*Jackary Cheiss* mean spirited prankster - with the bruises to prove it.  Army guy.

*Connor Fectionary* Either he comes from a family that put together a dictionary, or he's a baker specializing in cakes.

*Wankers Dumboll* please let this be a nickname assigned to the army screw up.

*Mr. Danklaw* Stern faced teacher with a fashion sense two decades behind the times.


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## valiant12 (Mar 27, 2016)

> Hunter Butcher is a knight, and Erwin is her squire.


.............. and Wankers Dumboll is the king they serve.


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## Reilith (Apr 11, 2016)

Oh yes, the game is on! 
Jackary Cheiss - army man, newly assigned to his troup. A real fun guy. Likes dice and ladies, but has no luck with either. Freckled and ginger, some say he turns to humour because he is hiding the fact he has no soul. Secretly wants just be loved(and rule the world). 
Connor Fectionary - a very famous tailor for the nobility. Very short, balding, with a thick moustache, a bit eccentric. Has a thing for young boys.
Wankers Dumboll - warden of the far-away prison. Very calm and friendly, until somebody tries to call him by his first name. Has a collection of bowls.
Mr. Danklaw - hired assassin that can only be contacted via old lady at the Racketty in. Does the dirtiest jobs for a solid fee. Is of asian descent and knows how to kill in over 1436 ways.

Sent from my HTC Desire 820 using Tapatalk


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## Gryphos (Jun 6, 2016)

I do so much joy coming up with strange names.

*Watts Updog*

*Tispitt Ford*

*Lyca Lay*


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## bdcharles (Jun 8, 2016)

Gryphos said:


> *Pikeman Glaive*
> 
> *Jerk Salmon*
> 
> ...



Pikeman Glaive: Pikeman is his title, for starters, not his name. He is a low-ranking knight, strong of arm and feeble of ambition, but not a bad sort. A good third-, fourth-, fifth-lvel wingman who will probably die 

Jerk Salmon: this is not a person, it is food.

Eldridge Wetnyrse: this is a comedic character who, despite harboring some magical abilities, always gets left holding the baby. I mean literally, holding the baby, as if he or she didn't know any better, as if he/she had never even _graduated _from magic school.


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## ChasingSuns (Jun 14, 2016)

*Jackary Cheiss* a clean-cut, well dressed individual. He's a proper gentleman and thief. When it comes to the ladies, first he steals their hearts, and second he steals their jewels.

*Connor Fectionary* a young man who is the heir to the family fortune, although he'd rather be living outside of high society.

*Wankers Dumboll* a bumbling old man who tries to make a living as a tinkerer and inventor. People aren't sure if he's off because of his old age, or if he's just crazy.

*Mr. Danklaw* a shrewd businessman who puts profit above all, even his own family.


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## ChasingSuns (Jun 14, 2016)

*Pikeman Glaive* A young officer of the law with a quick wit and a refusal to see the corruption around him. Very by the book.

*Jerk Salmon* An tall, strong older man with a knack for crime. The leader of a powerful street gang who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty. Bald with white mutton chops.

*Eldridge Wetnyrse* A lanky individual who makes a living as a doctor. Mostly works as the private physician to the upper class members of society.


(I realized that due to all of the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle that I've been reading, my interpretations are coming out as characters in a Victorian England detective story  )


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## Bruce McKnight (Jun 14, 2016)

*Watts Updog* - a streetwise young man from present day, bearing a striking resemblance to an extra from Fresh Prince of Bel Air, unwittingly transported back in time where he is captured and sold into the servitude of the actual Prince of Belair. He must use his outlandish tales of the future (played off as mere imagined tales of entertainment, lest he be accused of witchcraft) and stuttered musical limericks to gain favor in the court while he searches for a way home. Just when it seems all hope is lost, a familiar-looking stranger arrives at court in odd clothes...

*Tispitt Ford* - a ranger guide who helps lost merchants find their way through the wilds. Refusing payment with a false show of chivalry, he steals just enough from those he helps to make it worth his while, but not so much that it would be noticed. He also runs illicit goods across borders, using the caravans he guides as unwitting mules and potential fall guys. Just after he finishes an especially daring job, smuggling outlawed pebbleberries into Harsham on an unsuspecting cotton caravan, one of the sellswords approaches him with an offer that sounds too good to be true...

*Lyca Lay* - an old courtesan, clinging to fading, but distinguished beauty. Her dark hair is showing strands of age behind the ears and her softening skin has the faintest hint of wrinkles appear at dusk at the edges of her eyes and lips. Though she gains gifts and affection from many men, she never finds true love. She denies her feelings, but secretly craves a family, leading her to pick up and care for a number of orphans over the years. As she grows older, she fears that she will no longer have the appeal to draw enough gifts to keep her orphans fed. However, as the orphans grow older, they devise a plan with the intention of helping her, but their plan ends up doing anything but helping...


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## Miskatonic (Jun 15, 2016)

*Charles "Chuck" Winchester*


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## Gryphos (Jun 15, 2016)

*Charles "Chuck" Winchester*

Charles is the kind of guy who wants people to think he's some kind of cool lone ranger type. He puts a lot of effort into his moustache, and always carries around a set of reeds ready to chew between his teeth while he rides into town. Thing is, he's actually a crap shot, but he's so good at convincing people he's a badass that no one's ever challenged him.


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## Malik (Jun 15, 2016)

"Pikeman Glaive" reminds me of "Dirk Steele." 

It's also reminiscent of "Slam Squatthrust" and "Biff Benchpress" which the robots came up with on an episode of MST3K, I forget which one. 

I'd use it as a pejorative nickname for a character. "Ol' 'Pikeman Glaive' over there. . ." 

It would be especially funny if the character had, say, knocked over a rack of poleaxes and either nearly killed someone, or inadvertently killed a badguy, in the process.


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## TallyasH3art (Jun 20, 2016)

Erwin E. Erwindaughter: I see an elven maiden with long, golden, and braided hair.

Hunter Butcher: I see a butcher with a butcher knife and white apron with dried blood speckling the apron.


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