# Readers love spoilers... the art of foreshadowing



## Geo (Apr 12, 2016)

So, as much as everyone that has had a book/movie spoiled by an ungraceful comment may disagree, it turns out we love spoilers, just not big ones.

In trying to learn more about foreshadowing, I discovered this great paper in psychological science that talks about how much people like to find clues (mini spoilers) along what they read. 

http://psy2.ucsd.edu/~nchristenfeld/Publications_files/Spoilers.pdf

Apparently how much we like a story correlates nicely with the number of spoilers along the text. My problem, of course, is that I kind of suck at choosing the right spoilers. Why? because I want the reader to feel cleaver by discovering the breadcrumb trail I'm leaving for them, but I don't want it to be too easy. I don't want everything to become obvious from the beginning.

So what happens is that half the time my clues are too obscure to be found (beta readers complaining that not everyone has the analytical mind of a scientist have become a repetitive comment in my latest project), so in an effort to find a middle ground (not too hard/not too easy) I would like to ask, how do you apply foreshadowing to your work?


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## Graham M (Apr 12, 2016)

One way to do it is to slip a clue in between other bits of information so the clue is overlooked.


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## Svrtnsse (Apr 12, 2016)

That research paper is really interesting. I didn't expect that.

I'm a little bit curious about the nature of the spoilers, but I guess overall it's the results that are important.


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## Mythopoet (Apr 12, 2016)

To be honest, this doesn't surprise me a bit. I figured out several years ago that I am actually able to enjoy stories more if I know what's going to happen. That way I don't have to devote so much attention to surface events and can devote more attention to appreciating characterization, theme and nuance I might otherwise have missed. 

I suspect that this is true for a lot of people who don't realize it. The idea of the "spoiler" has been mostly fabricated by the entertainment industry as just one way to build hype for products. People buy into it and think that "spoilers" will "spoil" things for them because it's right there in the name after all. But I don't think it generally holds water. Though I'm also sure it's not true for a large share of people. Big "twists" are important to some readers. This is just one of the ways people experience things differently.


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## Geo (Apr 12, 2016)

Svrtnsse said:


> That research paper is really interesting. I didn't expect that.
> 
> I'm a little bit curious about the nature of the spoilers, but I guess overall it's the results that are important.




I was also curious of how significant the spoilers were...  and also surprise that some of the books mentioned are mystery novels that suppose to be based on suspense, so...


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## Penpilot (Apr 12, 2016)

I usually go by feel, so it's hard to articulate the exact process. 

The first obvious thing is knowing what you're foreshadowing in as much detail as possible. Knowing guides your word choices, consciously and unconsciously, so if you do it right, there's a subtle foreshadowing the reader feels, but may not be able to put their finger on.

Second is as I edit, I just look for places where the foreshadowing fits naturally in with what's happening. As someone mentioned above, this acts as camouflage.

Third, if your reader is engaged in the story, I mean really engaged, the less likely the foreshadowing gets noticed as such. They're in the moment with the characters. They want to find out what happens next. Unless they're actively looking for clues or the clues are hit-you-over-the-head-a-thousand-times obvious, they won't be thinking about double meanings or why some element is present. 

If your reader isn't engaged, their minds wander and they start to wonder about things and pick them apart instead of following the story closely.

That's my general take.


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## skip.knox (Apr 12, 2016)

Well, spoilers are okay, I guess, but not every story needs them. I am currently reading another volume in Patrick O'Brian's epic and there's really not anything like spoilers in those books. 

Another candidate I'd put forward is Robert Howard. No spoilers in Conan stories, but that doesn't make them any less enjoyable. OTOH, a mystery story is all about guessing at what's really going on.


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## Miskatonic (Apr 13, 2016)

If it's a "Luke I am your father" type twist or reveal then I really don't want to know ahead of time.


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## Ray M. (Apr 13, 2016)

I read the article, it shows an interesting result. I've found that there are readers who mind spoilers, and readers who don't.

Having worked as game master on a forum roleplay, I know exactly what it's like to have those two kinds of people as readers, the ones who analyze every word they see in your posts and try to find the hidden clues, and want to be prepared for any twists you can throw their way, and those who lay back and take it easy and enjoy the story, and prefer to see it unfold before their eyes. How I handled it is I misled the analyzers with false clues while disguising the real twists underneath them (which was kind of evil now that I think about it, but I couldn't resist), while also entertaining the more laid back readers with in a way lesser twists that the thorough analyzers could find out rather easily.

Generally though, I'd like to make some of my twists somewhat easily accessible, so that everyone who is willing to put some thought to it should figure it out. I take example from one of the greatest stories crafted, in my opinion, Breaking Bad. The show handles foreshadowing masterfully, really. I recommend it for anyone who wants to improve their storytelling abilities - it's so vivid and strong that it's as good as any book you'll read. It gives the viewer hints, it even tells them that this is going to happen, that the bomb is there and it's going to go off, or that the gun is loaded and bullets are going to fly. There are scenes which basically spoil to the viewer what's going to happen next, but they do it in a subtle, brilliant way, like giving away half a truth. Yet I remember when watching this for the first time, I was on the edge of my seat, even while knowing more or less what was going to happen.


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## FifthView (Apr 13, 2016)

I think it might come down to possibility vs probability.

When a twist happens, it's great to realize after the fact that the foundation had already been laid.  The clues were there, only I hadn't quite put them together; and, the twist isn't some random, illogical _deus ex machina_ or unmasking of a new or greater threat.  While reading up to that twist, it's nice to have suspicion about a possibility, even a kind of gut feeling if not a conscious suspicion.  But if the author (or movie director) crosses that line where possibility becomes probability, then I can sometimes be irritated.

Sometimes it's great to have a solid idea before whatever comes.  There are cases where an unreliable narrator is obviously missing some clues, where I know what's coming—or very strongly suspect what's coming—and my enjoyment is in seeing how the narrator/character will react to the coming event.  Anticipation is at least as strong a factor of enjoyment as the sudden, unexpected twist—and maybe more often so, at least to the degree that building anticipation is far easier than pulling off a major twist.

I like to think of foreshadowing in a concrete way.  So imagine there's this freakishly huge elephant—the size of an aircraft carrier, say—standing somewhere ahead of us, but we don't know there is.  Imagine a strong light source on the far side of the elephant.  The shadow he casts over our present path can be wide and tint everything around us, but its size and distorted shape keep us from realizing that it's in fact the shadow of an elephant.  Similarly, many things in the story leading up to that reveal can be tinged by what's coming without revealing it.

Contrast that to having an elephant standing in the middle of the room your characters are in, but they aren't supposed to see him, and neither are you (wink wink), and the author is obviously trying to make much of the fact that this will be a surprise.  There comes a point when I want to say, "Just reveal the elephant now, since you all but have already, and move on to something else!"


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## Heliotrope (Apr 13, 2016)

Foreshadowing is a big deal to me, both as a reader and a writer. I find it is the #1 thing I comment on when critting other people's work, and it is the #1 thing I focus on in my own work. 

I think of foreshadowing as "front end loading" tension… or like Chekov's gun, but backwards… where chekov said "if you are going to show a gun hanging on the wall, that gun better go off in the next scene" I believe "If you are going to have a gun go off in the next scene, you better damn well show it hanging on the wall first"…. lol. 

I think that foreshadowing does so much for tension. For example, a crit I did a few months back (and he will read this, so don't kill me  I will leave you nameless)… 

He had a wonderful action packed scene where his group ran into a tribe of terrifying natives. However, the scene was missing something… the foreshadowing. In a fantasy series, when you introduce a new type of monster the reader is not familiar with, you can't expect them to suddenly be afraid. They have no context. No understanding of what these beasts are capable of. If I said "The group ran into a rabid bear, starting from weeks of desolate winter and desperate to protect her undernourished cub" you might have images of the emaciated bear, foaming at the mouth, hungry and desperate… you know what a bear is capable of. You know how big they are. You have read news stories or seen on TV how a bear can rip a man apart." 

But if I said "the group ran into a pack of Xenobe's and feared for their lives." You have no clue what that means. No context. The response is "So what?" 

What you needed to do first was foreshadow. The group is at the tavern. A small boy, maybe four or five stumbles through the door, he is covered in blood, he is missing his hand. Only a tiny stump remains. He collapses to the ground, muttering of the Xenobes, and before he dies you find that his eyes have been removed and in their place you find something sprouting…. 

Then, when the team runs into the Xenobe's later in the story (Which, the reader already knows that they will, because it has been foreshadowed earlier with the boy) then it is much more terrifying because there is suddenly context and mystery. It is not just a random event. 

This is SOOOOO important! 

Here is the first paragraph of a story I'm working on, note all the foreshadowing: 

*The Fig Boy Who Flew Away*

_      Many years after the miracle with the fig boy, when she lost her teeth and sprouted her own wings, Antonia Benedetti would remember a distant afternoon when her husband had taken her to see a war. Every year in March, when all of Italy donned masks and indulged in the rich decadence of Carnival, a troupe of ragged gypsies would set up their tents in the Piazza and with great fanfare and banging of drums they would present the deformed and depraved. Fair Xaninos from Spain, children of the water sprites Xana, chalk white with eyes pink like a rabbits and silver moonbeam hair. The ancient Siofra from Ireland, withered fairies switched with human babies in order to be cared for while they die. Or the broken trolls of Scandinavia, with their curved spines and bulbous heads. But this time the gypsy’s brought something new. An invention. A checked board where two opponents could sit across from each other and wage war with tiny knights and kings without any bloodshed. To Antonia, this invention was sure to generate more peace than his Holiness the Pope himself._

I've told the reader exactly what this story is going to be about. A woman, a miracle, a fig boy (who is likely one of the deformed and depraved that the gypsy's have with them), someone grows wings? 

All this foreshadowing puts questions in the readers minds so that they keep reading to find out what the heck is all this going to be about? How is all this going to come together? I've already told them the end…. The fig boy is going to fly away. But what does that mean? How is that significant? 

Set up. Front end loading. Placing clues. Until at the very last moment all the pieces come together into focus and the reader understands.


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## Miskatonic (Apr 13, 2016)

Foreshadowing is great when you get to that major plot point and as you read the remaining few pages that lead up to it and everything starts clicking and your anticipation grows by leaps and bounds.


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## AJ Stevens (Apr 13, 2016)

I think it's great in moderation and it's a useful mechanism to keep the reader turning the page, playing on natural human inquisitiveness. The tricky part, I guess, is making sure the realisation of any foreshadowing isn't, well, a bit naff.

Similarly, I'd want to avoid clichÃ©s. I was watching something last night where one of the characters told his companions to run while he made a stand to buy them some time. 'I'll be right behind you,' he said. 'He's dead,' I thought. I was, unsurprisingly, correct.

The truly great writers can do it subtly, weaving it into conversation and narrative so that it doesn't appear out of place on its own, and then... BAM! Something happens - it shocks you, but of course it's been staring you in the face for 300 pages - you just didn't realise it (unless you're one of _those_ people!).

In summary, small foreshadowing, big conclusion works much better than vice versa.


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## Miskatonic (Apr 13, 2016)

Sometimes the foreshadowing is an aspect that's fun to go back and pay closer attention to during a re-read. I plan on dropping little hints here and there for people who like looking for those sorts of things, but it's not going to be something where if you don't pay attention to every little detail you'll miss out on something major.


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## Demesnedenoir (Apr 13, 2016)

Columbo is a classic example of "spoiler" story telling, where the mystery was not who dunnit, but how the guilty would be outfoxed. For me, there must be something unknown.

Stories more reliant on a "twist" ending, such as Sixth Sense in the movie world, are killed by spoilers, while most movie and genre fictions are at least somewhat predictable... Titanic, tragic love-story right from the start and people will watch it over and over (looking at my wife on that one). 

Personally I am not a story re-reader, I find that extremely dull. It's one thing to know the ending but not how you get there, once I've read the whole thing? Danged near impossible for me to re-read something unless compelled.

An emotional connection to the story is probably the key to everything. If a reader is emotionally connected, well, that's the main thing.


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## FifthView (Apr 13, 2016)

Miskatonic said:


> Foreshadowing is great when you get to that major plot point and as you read the remaining few pages that lead up to it and everything starts clicking and your anticipation grows by leaps and bounds.



Brandon Sanderson has made the comment a couple or three times in podcasts that he tries to time it so that the picture clicks together for the reader a few paragraphs just before the big reveal.


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## FifthView (Apr 13, 2016)

Demesnedenoir said:


> most movie and genre fictions are at least somewhat predictable... Titanic, tragic love-story right from the start and people will watch it over and over (looking at my wife on that one).



Yeah I have an inside track on _Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2_.  Anyone who doesn't want a spoiler should stop reading my comment now.





The Guardians of the Galaxy win.


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## FifthView (Apr 13, 2016)

Heliotrope said:


> I think of foreshadowing as "front end loading" tension… or like Chekov's gun, but backwards… where chekov said "if you are going to show a gun hanging on the wall, that gun better go off in the next scene" I believe "If you are going to have a gun go off in the next scene, you better damn well show it hanging on the wall first"…. lol.



I think it's important to remember this.  While we might often think of foreshadowing a significant plot twist, foreshadowing is useful for creating context more generally.  In fact, even with plot twists, all foreshadowing is doing is making sure there's a reasonable context for the plot twist.


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## Demesnedenoir (Apr 13, 2016)

I would say the greater issue in the prologue was making the stakes and level of threat more clear than foreshadow. The foreshadow is there, it just wasn't clear for you. That's the best reason to have readers, to find out where things aren't getting across, LOL.



Heliotrope said:


> He had a wonderful action packed scene where his group ran into a tribe of terrifying natives. However, the scene was missing something… the foreshadowing. In a fantasy series, when you introduce a new type of monster the reader is not familiar with, you can't expect them to suddenly be afraid. They have no context. No understanding of what these beasts are capable of. If I said "The group ran into a rabid bear, starting from weeks of desolate winter and desperate to protect her undernourished cub" you might have images of the emaciated bear, foaming at the mouth, hungry and desperate… you know what a bear is capable of. You know how big they are. You have read news stories or seen on TV how a bear can rip a man apart."


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## Miskatonic (Apr 13, 2016)

True. I like a prologue that lets me know that something isn't right.


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## Chessie (Apr 13, 2016)

I also love that feeling of making it to a certain point in a story and being able to connect the dots behind it. For my stories, all I can say is that it's intuitive. I get a sense of when I should be laying clues and if I've already moved past that point and get an idea for it later, I'll go back and add it in. Foreshadowing and clues are the main reason why mystery is my other favorite genre. There are some real master authors who've been able to lay clues down the entire time without me even noticing until much later. I've never figured out a good mystery ahead of time either.


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## Demesnedenoir (Apr 13, 2016)

Another interesting point as I thought about it, is I wasn't too worried about foreshadowing within the prologue (or chapter 0 as I prefer to think about it, LOL), because I think of the entire prologue as a foreshadow/set up to drag the reader into Chapter 1... Although I hope it has gotten better since the critique. 

But then, as a whole, every chapter basically foreshadows the next in a linear story... except the end.


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## Heliotrope (Apr 13, 2016)

Totally, I was just using you as an example… it really was a wonderful scene, and superbly written… a little previous context would have been _nice_… that is all  

I've been thinking about this a lot and I really feel like every decision I make as a writer plays into this whole concept…. (Oh boy, here we go again… a topic Helio is interested in and now she will totally monopolize the conversation….) 

Like, setting for example… All the choices I make in setting play into the concept of set up, tone, mood, letting the reader know _something is going to happen._ 

Lets look at Poe, for example and the Fall of the House of Usher. This is how he starts: 

_During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung oppressively low in the heavens, I had been passing alone, on horseback, through a singularly dreary tract of the country: and at length found myself, as the shades of the evening drew on, within view of the melancholy House of Usher._

Poe piles on sensation after sensation, immersing the reader in his nightmarish vision. Even the sounds of the words (dull, dark, soundless) adds to the gloom. When the narrator reaches the house itself the atmosphere deepens. Pausing to ask himself why the decaying mansion induces such an "utter desperation of the soul,' he can only put hit down to a 'mystery all insoluble." The attempt to explain this mystery sets the story in motion… but already on the first page he has set the groundwork. We are feeling nervous. We know something is going to happen. 

This is foreshadowing. The shadow of _something_ looms in front of us… what is it? Will he figure it out? 

It would not have nearly the same effect on the reader if it was a bright sunny day and the birds were chirping and the house was freshly painted…. No foreshadowing = no tone. No mood. No sense of tension and mystery… 

Does that make sense? 

This brings me to another quote by the great Alfred Hitchcock. He explained the difference between _tension_ and _horror_ like this: 

_Horror_ is four men playing cards around a table and then the table blows up. No warning. Horror is brief. It carries no great effect on the heart (or the stomach) of the reader/viewer. It is over in seconds and the scene changes. 

_Terror_ is the scene opening with a close up of a bomb. Then the camera pans out to reveal the bomb is taped to the underside of a table. Then the camera pans out to show the legs of four men, seated around the table, only barely touching the bomb… The bomb ticks away… Terror can be extended. The reader _knows_ what is going to happen, so in many ways it is a spoiler. We know the bomb is going to go off…. 

Or is it? Will the men find it? Will they be able to disarm it? Will they get away in time? Will someone come in and save them? 

_Terror_ is foreshadowing… giving the reader just enough information to get them to the edge of their seat, asking questions, turning pages frantically to see what will happen.


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## Demesnedenoir (Apr 13, 2016)

Heliotrope said:


> Lets look at Poe...



Is it bad I immediately think Kung Fu Panda when hearing "po" in my head? I can tell what my daughters have been watching a lot, heh heh.

Did you read the later version the Chapter 0? I can't recall. 

Chapter 1 will play around with some theories on this spoiler/foreshadowing too, basically speaking the MC visits an augur and in cryptic language hands out major clues as to what will happen by the end of the book, which I think is best with tragedy. It's a bit like Titanic... you don't know, but yeah, you know the ending is tragic, which softens the blow while sticking the dagger deeper, in a sense. Softened, but more poignant, because you knew it was coming (no shock)  but knowing they don't live happily ever after also makes every interaction between the romantic leads more emotionally charged.


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## Heliotrope (Apr 13, 2016)

Totally. I forget half way through Titanic that the boat is going to sink… but then they hit the ice and I'm all "oh yeah… this sucks." 

But totally, having the spoiler that the boat is going to sink makes the movie so much more tension-filled (especially for the first time viewer) because if you _know_ the boat is going to sink it raises so many questions: 

- Are the lovers going to survive? 
- Are they going to live happily ever after? 
- What about all the other great characters I've come to love? (Unsinkable Molly Brown, The Builder guy, the Captain…) 
- What's going to happen to the mean jerk fiancÃ©? 
- What happened to the diamond? Did it sink? Or does she still have it? 

And on and on it goes. If the Movie was just about a random ship, and you didn't know going into it that it was going to sink it would still be a great movie… but you wouldn't have that sense of tension in your gut right from the opening credits. *edit: OMG… that _sinking feeling_ lol. 

* yeah, I've seen the movie about a billion times too


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## Demesnedenoir (Apr 13, 2016)

Well, in fairness, we pretty much realize Titanic is going to be a tragic love story, nothing else would've worked. The audience may hope otherwise, but deep down knows it... and that makes tragedy (particularly tragic love story)more effective, poignant, it's what makes the scenes between the couple work despite the iffy acting. She lives, he dies, how exactly did the stone get there aside from just the boat going down? Yeah, they keep a basic taste of not knowing these things for certain... but... not really.

We see this in tragic love stories all the time... Character A is dying from (insert popular disease here), Character B falls for them, there's hope! Please God let there be hope! Gack! Dead! So sorry. But it was tear-jerking beautiful, sniff, sniff, more so because we knew Death was hanging out sharpening his scythe.

Now the story of Isadora Duncan is kind of the opposite... I'm having a great life! Enjoying this convertible and long beautiful scarf! Croak! Holy heck! What was that? Now that's life, baby. LOL. Although I think the movie foreshadowed it, I as someone who had no idea who she was...that came out of left field for me one late night when bored and deciding to pick a flick, heh heh.


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## Mythopoet (Apr 13, 2016)

You know, I think this is not pointing to the use of foreshadowing, which has nothing to do with spoilers. Foreshadowing builds suspense, it doesn't relieve it. 

I think this is more applicable to when you're deciding what information to give and what to save for later, what questions to answer and what questions to make your readers fret over. The study seems to be suggesting that holding off on giving answers to the reader and keeping them in suspense as long as possible is not actually as conductive to creating reader enjoyment as is commonly believed. 

I certainly find that I am much, much more likely to enjoy a book if I am not strung along without any information and answers. I've recently given up reading a manga that consistently refuses to answer questions and instead continually gives only little hints and clues that in effect only create more questions. It's not creating an enjoyable reading experience for me, rather a very frustrating one and has finally made me totally apathetic to the plight of the characters.


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## Heliotrope (Apr 13, 2016)

Oh dear, yes I see what you mean... I got distracted by the post title...

Hmmm, I'll have to think about this some more. 

I am the type of person who likes to spoil movie endings for myself before watching them, and usually enjoys a film more the second time around.... Hmmmmm.

*Oh God now I feel like a total idiot for getting hung up on the foreshadowing…


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## Geo (Apr 14, 2016)

Heliotrope said:


> *Oh God now I feel like a total idiot for getting hung up on the foreshadowing…



Absolutely no need for that.

I enjoyed your lecture (for lack of a better word, sorry it's just to early to think creatively) on foreshadowing.

I tend to do that, use foreshadowing to create suspense. But the complain from my readers is that I drag them along with minuscule clues, which I feel are way too revealing already. Now, from both reading how you apply foreshadowing for suspense but also how major things (the titanic is sinking, bruce wayne is batman, the bomb will go off) that could be considered spoilers actually help I think that I know better what I can do.

I get your point but also Mythopoet's point. 

I'm one of those  who loves to rewatch and reread the same movie or book, so I immediately related with what the results from teh article, but I struggle to figure out how to apply it.


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## Caged Maiden (Apr 14, 2016)

Okay, since the original post was about learning more about foreshadowing, I'll try to explain my process.

First, foreshadowing for me is in maybe five volumes. Basically, the volume one setting is a whispered hint that only a really sharp reader will see (but I put them there because I delight in really sharp readers and that is their treat, to win the first time).  An example of a level one hint was when I had a woman break into her husband's study, and she noted the unusual lamp on his desk (that he used when writing secret messages, though she doesn't discover it for a few chapters). I don't see how anyone could really understand how important it was to the story, on their first read through, but that's the kind of foreshadowing I like to put in for people who read a second time.

The second time I mention something that will happen later, the volume must increase. Now, if I just want to start at a two, fine, no harm done by skipping the faint whisper and just going straight with the loud whisper, but most likely, I won't use a level two if I used a level one, because that's just not enough of an increase. 

Level three is probably the one I use most often, especially if I'm only giving one hint before actually revealing the secret/ twist. I'd call it a level three when my one character says, "So you're a trader then," and the other turns around and says, "What did you just call me?"...

Which leads me to number four, when he later reflects on what was said and openly admits to the reader that he'd heard her ask if he was a "traitor" and his mind was playing tricks on him from his paranoia (you know, since he's totally doing some traitorous things).

And I guess a level five would just be flat-out saying something for the reader's benefit. "Gray clouds portended the battle's outcome," or "Something about him just wasn't right."

I think each time you turn up the volume, you're moving closer to the actual reveal, and so you should make sure the volume is somewhat in alignment with how big the reveal and tension leading up to it. If you go on for seven chapters about who's leaking information in your fragile alliance, it can't all be whispered or shouted at the same volume. You gotta start quiet and just shout at the end if it's appropriate. And some foreshadowing never rises above a loud whisper, because each reveal needs its own careful handling based on its intended impact.


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## FifthView (Apr 14, 2016)

Geo said:


> I tend to do that, use foreshadowing to create suspense. But the complain from my readers is that I drag them along with minuscule clues, which I feel are way too revealing already.



I find this a little confusing.

If the clues are minuscule, how are readers being dragged along?

I do wonder if maybe you are frequently inserting what appear to be non sequiturs, or bits of info that have no great significance in whatever is happening in the present scene, so that readers feel they are being given information that must be important (they feel) but that doesn't feel very important or simply feels odd.  That would be a little like Caged Maiden's example of casually mentioning the lamp on the desk but not being so casual about it while giving no good context or reason for its mention.  You might think what you are giving is too revealing, but the reader may be scratching his head and thinking, "huh?"

Maybe that's not what you are talking about.

More generally on this point, I think that foreshadowing should occur organically, or seem to be organic to the reader.  It should seem significant to whatever is happening in the current scene, a natural part of that scene, or perhaps casual (in the case of, say, a lamp noticed on a desk), and not seem like an oddity that is quickly forgotten or glossed over by the author.  Otherwise it becomes a _wink wink_ moment, and this can be irritating.


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## Geo (Apr 14, 2016)

FifthView said:


> I find this a little confusing.
> 
> If the clues are minuscule, how are reader being dragged along?
> 
> ...



Sorry wrong phrasing.... I should not have said drag along, because is not what it’s happening. I'm the one that feels that the clues are there but that the readers are passing along not getting them.

I'll try to explain the problem. I'm putting clues there, clues that I think are somehow evident but that the readers are not getting with enough anticipation (some not at all). Then, once they reach the corresponding end/climax they see that in fact there was a connection. Then, they complain about me making things to difficult. 

They feel I should lower the complexity, make things more obvious, if I want the clues to be useful in solving the puzzle (and I do want that point when the reader almost-gets-it-but-not-quite-all-of-it). I should mention that this is a new problem, I think that in part it comes from writing for a younger audience that I’m used to (the project that got these complains/reviews is my niece’s birthday present. She wanted a fantasy-horror story and she will be 14. Up to know the readers have been between 12-16 y.o). 

This is an example of what I refer as clues:

The main character talks to her friends about an event that seems quite mundane... she lost her keys, it happens to all of us, nothing odd with that. However it has never happened to her, she is almost OCD about her keys. All her friends dismiss her worries as nothing. The reader may react as the friends of the character and think this is just the way I’m introducing each of the characters that are part of the story, or it may suspect something (which is what I expect/hope will happen) because in fact the event is not-nothing. The keys have been taken by a ghoul, something that of course we don’t learn until much later. 

For me, nothing in a story is gratuitous, if it's there it's there for a reason. Therefore, when as a reader I encounter something similar to the example I immediately think…HA! This is significant… and as a writer I tend to believe that my readers will react in the same way, which apparently is not the case. 

My struggle now is to find a way to make things easier, because I do want the readers to enjoy themselves, but without ruin the story by making things too obvious. Hence, avoiding the wink-wink kind of situations.

And I do agree, foreshadowing must feel organic, a consequence of the plot, not a forced inclusion to the plot, and I think that is why I’m struggling, because I feel that making things more obvious will subtract from that natural flow…

All that said, I’ve learned a lot from all the comments, and my original confusion is a bit less dense.


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## Caged Maiden (Apr 14, 2016)

I just wanted to clarify the lamp thing...not because I believe anyone misunderstood, but I was unclear. When I mention the lamp, it has a weird shade, it's red. So she thinks to herself, "hm, what an odd choice for a scribe, to have a red lamp on his desk. What purpose does that serve?" So...yes, it's mundane, and I gave no earlier clue that it was in any way linked to his deception, but later when a situation over a painted scroll blows up, it allows her to put the clues together that he could see something in the scroll that she couldn't, because he was looking at it under the red light. So then, she has no idea what it said, but she put it together that it had some sort of secret meaning. 

For me, I like to begin some foreshadowing as a whisper and then build on the volume later. I have to admit though, that when I first wrote this novel, many of my foreshadowing moments were completely missed by readers. They were too quiet and not caught. I was very frustrated because I didn't want to turn up the volume. I also realized I had too many secrets. It was several drafts later that I really got the hang of foreshadowing at the right volume for each specific reveal (not that it's perfect yet), and what i've mostly taken away from it is that to you, it sounds loud, but to a reader, it's still a whisper, which is why I now do a mix of foreshadowing events, with different types and volumes of actual hinting. Some folks are really conscientious readers. Be careful when you hand your work to writer-readers though, because often other writers will simply dismiss things and want all the information up front, whereas a genuine reader will be looking more for the hints, and they'll be happy to work harder to find them.


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## FifthView (Apr 15, 2016)

Geo said:


> I'll try to explain the problem. I'm putting clues there, clues that I think are somehow evident but that the readers are not getting with enough anticipation (some not at all). Then, once they reach the corresponding end/climax they see that in fact there was a connection. Then, they complain about me making things to difficult.
> 
> They feel I should lower the complexity, make things more obvious, if I want the clues to be useful in solving the puzzle (and I do want that point when the reader almost-gets-it-but-not-quite-all-of-it). I should mention that this is a new problem, I think that in part it comes from writing for a younger audience that I’m used to (the project that got these complains/reviews is my niece’s birthday present. She wanted a fantasy-horror story and she will be 14. Up to know the readers have been between 12-16 y.o).



I think a distinction can be made between foreshadowing and telegraphing.  

For me, foreshadowing is far more subtle.  In fact, it can be entirely overlooked without harming the story even if, should it be "detected" very early, it can also add a gut feeling, suspicions, or more dimension to whatever happens later.  Foreshadowing can even remain unseen after the reveal without significantly harming the story, although perhaps some depth will be lost.

Telegraphing is an intentional signaling of some future event.  "Little did Suzie know that her life was about to change forever...."–that's blatant, and it's the sort of telegraphing that can ruin a reader's experience of the story.  But I think of telegraphing in a broader sense.  It's basically any _apparent_ signal, intended to be read, that announces some future event.  So imagine a meeting between an unlikable POV character and another character that is in opposition to this POV character.  They put on airs when in dialogue, don't speak their true intentions although both know they are in competition, and once the second character leaves the POV character revels over some information that the other accidentally revealed, concluding the chapter with the thought, _Finally, the king will die!_–this, without having previously revealed that this POV character was a regicide-in-waiting (and probably near the beginning of the book.)  So, that's a telegraphing of future events, plot, etc.  Anytime we are given an idea of a character's nature, we can begin to imagine what that character will do in the future, especially if we already have some idea of the milieu/plot, and that's a type of telegraphing.  We are told that nature upfront for this purpose.  But it's a type of telegraphing.  I wouldn't call it foreshadowing.

Probably, foreshadowing and telegraphing can be thought of as the same thing but on opposite ends of a slider.  However, I think that keeping them separate helps in deciding which to use and how to go about using either. 

Behind the use:  intention.  What are you trying to accomplish? 

If you want your readers to pick up on the clues, and to know that these are clues about something dreadful that will surely happen later in the story, you might be more interested in telegraphing, or making those clues more obvious.  Make them stand out a little more _as clues about the future event.  _

If you want your readers to take note of your clues but without signaling the future event, you'll still have to make them stand out more, so that they are shelved in the back of the mind but not lost.  This way, when the reveal happens, they might come immediately to mind, an "Aha!" moment.  Also, an accumulation of such clues can begin to build suspicion as they are assembled in that factory somewhere at the back of the mind.



> This is an example of what I refer as clues:
> 
> The main character talks to her friends about an event that seems quite mundane... she lost her keys, it happens to all of us, nothing odd with that. However it has never happened to her, she is almost OCD about her keys. All her friends dismiss her worries as nothing. The reader may react as the friends of the character and think this is just the way I’m introducing each of the characters that are part of the story, or it may suspect something (which is what I expect/hope will happen) because in fact the event is not-nothing. The keys have been taken by a ghoul, something that of course we don’t learn until much later.



If you take the foreshadowing route, then you might consider making the lost-keys situation more significant, more memorable.  Maybe instead of just a casual, mundane conversation in which it is mentioned that she lost her keys, her friends have been dropped off at her house by parents and the group has a plan to go to the movies (or a house party, heh), your character as driver.  But when they are about to leave, _Drat!_, she can't find her keys.  The whole night might be ruined unless they find them; there is some bickering, potentially with some hidden conflicts surfacing.  [Incidentally, if these are close friends, would all of them be ignorant of her OCD nature, even if it's just about the keys?]  The set-up then can still seem organic, but the event is more likely to stand out in the mind.

There is a little PDF I found this morning on the subject of signposting, which relates to foreshadowing (and telegraphing, though it doesn't mention that.)  It's a teaching aid for younger students, but it's to the point and can give you some ideas:  http://demarestsd.schoolwires.net/cms/lib2/NJ01001706/Centricity/Domain/375/Signposts Fiction.pdf Not all the signposts relate directly to foreshadowing.  One that does:  _Again and Again_.  Repetition can help to foreshadow.  So maybe another member of the group also loses something important.  Perhaps that character blames someone in the group, it's stealing or some sort of jealousy or envy...  All of this can help things to stand out in the mind while still seeming organic.


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