# Getting into your characters' heads



## Ireth (Oct 27, 2013)

I'm in the midst of a very important scene in my current untitled WIP, and the thing that's holding me up is the inability to get into a certain character's head. Try as I might, she refuses to let on what she's thinking or feeling.

Here's the situation in brief: The MC, Cadell, was kidnapped some four days prior to the current scene, held captive in the villain's lair and tortured by evil black-elves. A good black-elf named Signy found Cadell, freed him, and hid him from her kin for the majority of those four days while she tended his wounds. During that time, Cadell was unsuccessfully searched for, and ultimately said to have been killed. Now Cadell and Signy have escaped, and Cadell has taken Signy to meet with Queen Brigh, the ruler of his people. Queen Brigh views black-elves to be thoroughly evil, so the idea of a good, helpful one is entirely new to her (as it was for Cadell). Likewise, she too believed Cadell to be dead until now, and more than one person believes that he is an impostor. At the point I'm at in the scene, Brigh has literally just caught sight of Cadell and Signy standing together, and has yet to react other than looking back and forth between them.

I have no idea whether Brigh is relieved at Cadell being alive, suspicious of his real identity, angry at him for bringing a black-elf to her gate, or some combination of the three. In any case, she is not one to show emotion much at all, whether externally or internally. As a result, this scene is doubly hard to write, since Cadell, not she, is the POV character, and her outward reactions and dialogue are all the reader sees. Any suggestions on how to get through this?


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## Feo Takahari (Oct 27, 2013)

Ireth said:


> I'm in the midst of a very important scene in my current untitled WIP, and the thing that's holding me up is the inability to get into a certain character's head. Try as I might, she refuses to let on what she's thinking or feeling.
> 
> Here's the situation in brief: The MC, Cadell, was kidnapped some four days prior to the current scene, held captive in the villain's lair and tortured by evil black-elves. A good black-elf named Signy found Cadell, freed him, and hid him from her kin for the majority of those four days while she tended his wounds. During that time, Cadell was unsuccessfully searched for, and ultimately said to have been killed. Now Cadell and Signy have escaped, and Cadell has taken Signy to meet with Queen Brigh, the ruler of his people. Queen Brigh views black-elves to be thoroughly evil, so the idea of a good, helpful one is entirely new to her (as it was for Cadell). Likewise, she too believed Cadell to be dead until now, and more than one person believes that he is an impostor. At the point I'm at in the scene, Brigh has literally just caught sight of Cadell and Signy standing together, and has yet to react other than looking back and forth between them.
> 
> I have no idea whether Brigh is relieved at Cadell being alive, suspicious of his real identity, angry at him for bringing a black-elf to her gate, or some combination of the three. In any case, she is not one to show emotion much at all, whether externally or internally. As a result, this scene is doubly hard to write, since Cadell, not she, is the POV character, and her outward reactions and dialogue are all the reader sees. Any suggestions on how to get through this?



Suspicious takes priority over relieved, and goes hand in hand with angry. If suspicion is cleared up, whether relieved or angry dominates depends on her exact relationship with Cadell. (For instance, if Cadell were her love interest, she might briefly show relief, then channel anger afterwards. It sounds like she's not very close to him, though.)


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## Ireth (Oct 27, 2013)

Feo Takahari said:


> Suspicious takes priority over relieved, and goes hand in hand with angry. If suspicion is cleared up, whether relieved or angry dominates depends on her exact relationship with Cadell. (For instance, if Cadell were her love interest, she might briefly show relief, then channel anger afterwards. It sounds like she's not very close to him, though.)



She is close to him, but not in a love-interest way. (Cadell's love interest is a healer named Liadan.) Cadell is simply one of Queen Brigh's most trusted servants, enough that she named him her official emissary in the present truce between Fae and mortals, which resulted from the threat of the black-elves. Cadell, likewise, is extremely loyal to her, and withstands the villain's attempts at persuading and coercing him to betray his people. The issue is with Brigh's standoffish demeanor, not a lack of an emotional bond between the two. It's there, it's just not out in the open.


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## Sam Evren (Oct 27, 2013)

Trying to get inside the thoughts of a head of state, I'd quietly signal guards to take discreet aim at the pair, then offer a challenge question incorrectly. 

So, Cadell should know the Queen's favorite song to listen to while worried is "Moon Over the Swan," and she tells him she's been listening to nothing other than "Sun Over Dog." If he reacts incorrectly, or not at all, she signals the attack.

I think in a leadership position, you're going to sort the issue before you come to terms with it. Afterwards, she might backhand him for making her worry/bringing in a potential threat (if she's a hands-on queen), but I would lean towards decision before emotion in a head of state.

Plus, the tension of the moment, and the release of the correct answer would give her time to coalesce her thoughts. I imagine much of the stately dance of diplomacy is a play for time to give heads-of-state (or ambassadors) time to weigh options and streamline thoughts. It would be almost second nature to a ruler to use, in this case, "cowboy diplomacy" to play for time to sort her self properly.


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## Ireth (Oct 27, 2013)

Sam Evren said:


> Trying to get inside the thoughts of a head of state, I'd quietly signal guards to take discreet aim at the pair, then offer a challenge question incorrectly.



There are two guards present who have been taking none-too-discreet aim at the pair since before the queen was summoned. Also, the challenge question idea has already come into play with another disbelieving character (the one who summoned the queen); I don't want to seem repetitive if I do it again.



Sam Evren said:


> I think in a leadership position, you're going to sort the issue before you come to terms with it. Afterwards, she might backhand him for making her worry/bringing in a potential threat (if she's a hands-on queen), but I would lean towards decision before emotion in a head of state.
> 
> Plus, the tension of the moment, and the release of the correct answer would give her time to coalesce her thoughts. I imagine much of the stately dance of diplomacy is a play for time to give heads-of-state (or ambassadors) time to weigh options and streamline thoughts. It would be almost second nature to a ruler to use, in this case, "cowboy diplomacy" to play for time to sort her self properly.



Agreed. But the initial reaction, the sorting-through, is still a stumbling block for me. As I said, I'm not too inclined to use the challenge question idea twice within two consecutive scenes, and even coming up with the right words for Brigh to greet Cadell with is tricky.


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## Sam Evren (Oct 27, 2013)

You mentioned that Cadell is the POV character. Maybe you can let him do the work for you?

So, for instance: "Greetings, Cadell," the Queen said coldly, eyeing her archers. "I see you've brought a... guest, is it?"

As Cadell hears her greeting, let him work out what's going on in her head. What subtle---or overt---tones does he hear in her voice, her words?


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## buyjupiter (Oct 27, 2013)

You could have her take a we'll wait and see attitude at first and have him horribly misinterpret her reactions.

ETA: if you already have her established as a character that is hard to read/non-emotive, what is it about this scene that causes the need to break character?


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## T.Allen.Smith (Oct 27, 2013)

If it were me, I'd question my choice of POV. Who has the most emotional stake & turmoil in the scene? Who has the greatest potential for gut-wrenching feeling?  

My choice might be the dark elf. She's betrayed her kin for her beliefs. She gambled on the honor of a stranger. She's in a hostile world, under the gaze of a untrusting monarch, with nothing more than a stranger to shield her. To me, that seems to offer the greatest power in the scene.  

The queen is still in her domain, which is a source of security. Cadell has returned home, to a world and people he is familiar with. He may harbor genuine concern for his savior but it would be nothing compared to her concerns and fears. Everything, including the fledgling relationship with Cadell, is new & in doubt.  

Yes, The dark elf would be my POV choice.


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## Spider (Oct 27, 2013)

I’m just going to toss some ideas out there. If Queen Brigh is being watched by her people, she might adapt a pretense of rigidity regardless of whether she is relieved or confused.  Her role as a Queen would come before her friendship with Cadell. Only after she is left alone with Cadell might she express her emotions. As for the black-elf, she might imprison her temporarily until she figures out what’s going on. I just think that her people would influence her initial decisions because if she doesn’t maintain their support, her people might question her authority. 



T.Allen.Smith said:


> If it were me, I'd question my choice of POV. Who has the most emotional stake & turmoil in the scene? Who has the greatest potential for gut-wrenching feeling?
> 
> My choice might be the dark elf. She's betrayed her kin for her beliefs. She gambled on the honor of a stranger. She's in a hostile world, under the gaze of a untrusting monarch, with nothing more than a stranger to shield her. To me, that seems to offer the greatest power in the scene.
> 
> ...



I think this is a good idea too.


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## Ireth (Oct 27, 2013)

Thanks for your opinions, everyone.  I have a few comments to add, which may or may not help me with utilizing any of your ideas.

1) Urien, the one who summoned the queen, no doubt warned her that Cadell sees Signy as a friend, and would not tolerate her being treated as a prisoner. So holding Signy captive, even for a short time, would not be wise.

2) The trouble with doing all this from Signy's POV is a big one -- she doesn't speak or understand a word of Welsh or Gaelic, which are the two languages that Cadell would be most likely to use before the queen (probably the latter). So she'd have no way of commenting on the scene, aside from utter confusion and probably fear at not knowing wtf is going on. Cadell *can* speak and understand her language thanks to a spell cast on him by the villain, but he can't afford to translate anything for Signy, since revealing that he can speak the black-elves' language would make everyone even more suspicious of him than they already are. As it is, he risks much simply by telling her "Urien is bringing the queen out to see us; remember your manners," in a whisper, a bowshot away from the guards who have them stalled outside the castle wall.

3) Letting Cadell work out what the queen is feeling or thinking is EXACTLY the problem I have with this scene. I've considered switching POV to the queen herself, but I'm not sure whether that would make it easier or harder to work with her. She's only had one POV scene so far, and that was a bother to get through.


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## T.Allen.Smith (Oct 27, 2013)

Ireth said:


> The trouble with doing all this from Signy's POV is a big one -- she doesn't speak or understand a word of Welsh or Gaelic, which are the two languages that Cadell would be most likely to use before the queen (probably the latter). So she'd have no way of commenting on the scene, aside from utter confusion and probably fear at not knowing wtf is going on. Cadell can speak and understand her language thanks to a spell cast on him by the villain, but he can't afford to translate anything for Signy, since revealing that he can speak the black-elves' language would make everyone even more suspicious of him than they already are. As it is, he risks much simply by telling her "Urien is bringing the queen out to see us; remember your manners," in a whisper, a bowshot away from the guards who have them stalled outside the castle wall.


Just a few more thoughts....

I don't mess with language barriers in my writing because I feel they only get in the way of story, and make choices like these difficult. I know you enjoy writing with these aspects in mind though so I'll not belabor that point further.

Secondly, her inability to understand and speak their language may actually enhance her emotional response. If done well, it could also illustrate the difference of language. The reader can come to a an understanding that she doesn't speak Cadell's language without you having to blatantly tell them. The scene could still be powerful, with her narration to herself and her own spoken words very clear to her own ear, while she has to rely on facial expression, body language, and voice inflections from the others, to piece together her potential fate. That can add to her fear and emotional response.

Third, does Signy have to have a language barrier? What story purpose does it have? Could those beliefs, that differ from her kin, have come about through contact with Cadell's people before? Could she secretly understand their language, surprising everyone there, including Cadell. Signy's ability to speak their language could even be a device that challenges the Queen's assumptions about dark elves.


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## Ireth (Oct 27, 2013)

T.Allen.Smith said:


> Just a few more thoughts....
> 
> I don't mess with language barriers in my writing because I feel they only get in the way of story, and make choices like these difficult. I know you enjoy writing with these aspects in mind though so I'll not belabor that point further.



I see where you're coming from, but they're often unavoidable with the stories I have in mind, simply due to factors like culture and time. The Translation Convention trope does not work in these cases, since it's already in effect due to me writing in English and not Gaelic, Welsh, Norse, or made-up wolf language.



T.Allen.Smith said:


> Secondly, her inability to understand and speak their language may actually enhance her emotional response. If done well, it could also illustrate the difference of language. The reader can come to a an understanding that she doesn't speak Cadell's language without you having to blatantly tell them. The scene could still be powerful, with her narration to herself and her own spoken words very clear to her own ear, while she has to rely on facial expression, body language, and voice inflections from the others, to piece together her potential fate. That can add to her fear and emotional response.



That's a good point, though it's still tricky to pull off. The reader already knows there is a language barrier between Signy's kin and the Fae (except Cadell), as it has been established not only with the black-elves, but their fellow Norse-speaking cousins the light-elves. Spoken words will probably be a non-issue, since she cannot engage in the conversation due to the language gap, and as I said there is no one available to translate for her. Another issue is clarity of the scene. If Signy can't understand the words being spoken around her (aside from Cadell's single sentence), and the queen's face and body language are notoriously difficult to read, how can I make the reader understand what's going on? I've faced a similar problem with a previous scene involving different characters, but the same language gap. In that case, though, the characters' actions were clear enough to get the scene across with little difficulty (as far as I can tell).



T.Allen.Smith said:


> Third, does Signy have to have a language barrier? What story purpose does it have? Could those beliefs, that differ from her kin, have come about through contact with Cadell's people before? Could she secretly understand their language, surprising everyone there, including Cadell. Signy's ability to speak their language could even be a device that challenges the Queen's assumptions about dark elves.



Yes. The difference is not only between cultures and languages, but worlds. The barrier highlights the differences between the Celtic Fae (who speak Welsh and Gaelic) and the Norse light-elves and black-elves (who speak Norse, of course). Bridging the gap are a family of Norse-Gaelic humans, who have had contact with all three other peoples before, and speak both Norse and Gaelic. Cadell also comes to be part of the bridge when the villain's spell allows him to hear and speak Norse; this aids him immensely in his dealings with the allied humans and light-elves, who are in a temporary truce with the normally-antagonistic Fae due to the black-elven threat.

The black-elves and Fae have never come into contact before the beginning of this story (about two weeks before the current scene), and their first meeting was disastrous, resulting in deaths of both peoples (and kicking off the whole plot). Not exactly a nice first impression on either side. The only black-elves to come to Faerie before Signy were either there by accident (and quickly slaughtered by the Fae in recompense for damaging the forest), or sent by the villain (and quickly slain before they could damage the forest or hurt any people). Signy learned of the rift between worlds, through which black-elves go and don't come back, and grew to fear it.



Spoiler: chapters I haven't posted yet



After she met Cadell and got to know him a bit, she learned that the rift led to his homeland, and resolved to find it for him. She was caught sneaking toward it by the villain, and ordered to go through it as a scout (the villain knowing full well her prior scouts did not return). Signy saw a golden opportunity, and used it to her full advantage to bring Cadell home again. Cadell had also suggested them going through the rift together, so Signy could meet the queen and prove that not all black-elves are evil. Signy was not enthused by this, but realized she had little other choice (it was that or go back to the villain empty-handed), and agreed.



So, even with Signy representing her people before the queen, there is no chance of helping relations between them via her speaking their tongues. Learning Welsh with enough fluency to converse with the queen would take far longer than the short four days she has spent with Cadell, as they have no way of duplicating the villain's spell or turning it around. Besides which, even with Signy on the good side of things, the remaining 99.9% of the black-elves are either fully evil and in service of the villain (and thus a real threat to the Fae), or are potentially good like Signy, but serve the villain out of fear (and have likely had their spirits broken under her will, are thus not likely to notice an opportunity to break away, and are still a threat to the Fae). Signy is meant deliberately to be the exception, not the rule, when it comes to interracial relations.

EDIT to add: Signy's reasons for rescuing Cadell in the first place amount to "I saw you and wondered what you are, so I went to investigate, and decided to help because I hate the Lady but I can't escape from her, so I thought I'd do the next best thing and help someone else escape." Of course, as I said, she does get her chance to escape in the end.


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## Sam Evren (Oct 27, 2013)

Just for my own clarity, what we're looking at are, essentially, two questions.

1. What is the queen feeling as she sees her trusted adviser with a natural enemy?

2. What is the best way to express those feelings to the reader?

If I've got my hands on the right questions, perhaps we could use examples from some common ground, not to copy from them, but to use as one might use pewter figures in D&D, just to figure out the action.

Does that make any sense? Imagine you were casting the scene as a stage production and you had the characters from, say, Star Wars lined up for audition. Are we looking at a scene like Brigh played by Leia, Cadwell played by Luke, and Signy as played by an Imperial Officer?

So as Leia looks out at Luke, she feels relief. She sees the Imperial uniform and immediately stiffens inside, feels threatened and violent both at the same time. Within the flicker of the moment, her eyes touch Luke, she feels that warm sense of security, she knows that he wouldn't ever betray her. But the Imperial is still an Imperial. Could this all be deceit? Is this a trick of the Dark Side. 

She'd be faced with a warring set of emotions from the instant she saw them, but as a practiced head of state, she'd show an outward calm.

Perhaps like a poker player, she has tells, but they're tells only someone very close to her could read. Somewhere in the microexpressions of her face, in the way she touches a jewel, Cadwell, as played by Luke, can "sense" this war that wages in a moment's time.

I hope I'm not muddying the waters. I just find that when I have complex problems it helps me to break them into primal examples.


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## Ireth (Oct 27, 2013)

That's good food for thought, Sam. I'm just trying not to get sidetracked by the analogy... Cadell and Brigh aren't really "Luke and Leia" as far as their relationship goes. Luke and Leia are primarily friends/siblings; as far as I know, her status as princess is not that important in their interactions. Cadell fully understands that Brigh is and always will be his superior, no matter how close to her he is. That's part of why HE is also so nervous here.


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## Sam Evren (Oct 27, 2013)

I imagine the relationship as different, I was just thinking of trying to find a shared set of common icons we could use to help work out the details. In your above explanation you've helped me understand more of the relationship between Brigh and Cadwell. I know Luke and Leia aren't a one-to-one exchange for Cadwell and Brigh, but they sort of give me a platform for understanding since I haven't read your story. 

Still, stripping out the sibling relationship and friendship, I think you'd have that set of warring factors in the Queen's mind. She's a leader. If she's a good Queen---by which I mean a good leader, rather than a morality judgement---she's going to be used to making decisions fast. She'd start weighing that situation from the moment it came to her attention, but she'd shift into a higher gear when she actually "saw" the pair.

In reality, I'd say her internal weighing/war would overlap. So, in one thought, "I see him and that's good/I see her and that's bad." Mentally she'd be putting them on scales rapidly and repeatedly. Cadwell on one side, Signy on the other. 

I'm imagining these next as a fast series of flashing comparisons in her mind:

He's back vs. He brought a threat.

Cadwell's usefulness vs. the threat of the black-elf.

Guard's strength vs. the threat of the black-elf.

Trust in Cadwell vs. the threat of the black-elf.

Loss in Cadwell's loyalty vs. execution of the black-elf.

Am I/are my people safe for the moment vs. letting them speak.

In truth, I could see that entire process happening in the space of a few heartbeats. A good leader's going to cut through decisions coldly and rationally when lives are on the line, and since Signy represents a threat, lives are on the line. That leader would leave all but that initial emotional acknowledgement to be sorted out later, once the threat was fully assessed and contained.


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## Ireth (Oct 27, 2013)

All well and good, but it's that very conflict that's making this difficult. I can't decide what it is Brigh should say or do first. She can see that both of them are unarmed, which would lessen the thought of "threat", but on the other hand, fighting can happen even if people don't have weapons. Also, his name is _Cadell_, no W.


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## Sam Evren (Oct 27, 2013)

Sorry, not sure where I picked up that extra W, might have been on sale somewhere... *blush*

Unless the propriety of the time in your story dictates an extra level of politeness, I think she'd be more than open in challenging the situation. She's weighed the situation enough to know it's safe, for the moment. Cadell is the one who needs to explain himself. Good fortune that he's escaped or not, he's brought an enemy. 

"What is going on here?" is a fair question when one of your senior staff brings home an enemy.


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## Ireth (Oct 27, 2013)

She'd already have some sense of what's going on, though, since Urien would have given her a rundown of the situation (offscreen). Even if it was just "Cadell's back, and he's brought a friend, but she looks like an enemy. Try not to freak out, okay?" A question like "What's going on here?" is just begging for a repetitive infodump, too.


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## Sam Evren (Oct 27, 2013)

I suppose what I'm seeing is very primal threat. To just cut down to the bare essentials.

Cadell, I like you, but you (for the sake of example) brought an ax murderer into my home. I'm going to need more than "she's cool," before I decide to stop those archers from flooring you both.


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## Ireth (Oct 27, 2013)

Good point. Signy doesn't look like anyone specific who's been attacking them, she's (to Brigh) "just another evil black-elf." It's basically Fantastic Racism, albeit somewhat justified since most black-elves ARE evil and murderous, and don't pretend otherwise. I imagine Brigh might even suspect Cadell of being an accomplice to the villain, since after all it was a light elf (an evil one working for the villain, and not in any way associated with the actually good light-elves except by virtue of their race) who kidnapped Cadell in the first place. If the bad guys look like good guys and the good guys look like bad guys, who can you trust?


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## Sam Evren (Oct 27, 2013)

You mentioned in your original post that more than one person believes Cadell to be an impostor. If Brigh's had even a hint of that suggested to her, I think her trust is going to be in really short supply.

She's going to demand some sort of proof of loyalty. I know you're concerned about repeating information, but from Brigh's point of view, it's not repetition. This is vital information she needs in the moment.

Maybe there's another way for Cadell to prove his loyalty?

Maybe there's a way that Signy can prove her friendship---or at the very least disprove her hostility?

When language is a barrier, there are things we can still do to show our intentions.

If you're Brigh and you see me as a threat, if I kneel before you, it's more than just a sign of submission, I'm letting you have a free swing at me. If you want to kill me, you can.

Maybe that's the sort of ice-breaker you need to crack the conversation open?


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## Ireth (Oct 27, 2013)

Proof of loyalty is good... if I can just think of how to do that. Signy has already tried to prove her non-hostility by curtsying to Brigh, showing she doesn't intend to attack and knows how to be courteous. She's not entirely ready to fully submit to Brigh yet via kneeling or the like, as she knows very little about her. Also, if Brigh does kill Signy (or forces Cadell to as proof of his loyalty), that violates the claim Cadell has on Signy (claiming is serious business to the Fae) and the oath he swore to protect her, and may technically give Cadell the right to retaliate against Brigh, repaying blood for blood. Not exactly a wise move for Her Majesty.


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## Helen (Oct 27, 2013)

Ireth said:


> Cadell has taken Signy to meet with Queen Brigh, the ruler of his people. Queen Brigh views black-elves to be thoroughly evil, so the idea of a good, helpful one is entirely new to her (as it was for Cadell).



In _Avatar_, Neytiri brings Jake to the village to confront the king and queen of the Omaticaya, who believe that humans are evil (actually sick).  

One way to deal with "the opposite" is a) death, b) outcast. The reaction is related to thematic opposition - the two opposites are poison / threatening to each other and cannot co-exist.

There's sometimes a third option, c) imprisonment. But that's a delaying mechanism for d).

The fourth option, d) the queen decides that Jake should learn their ways, because signs indicate that he is extraordinary.

The point of it all is this: the arrival of "the opposite" leads, sooner or later, to change.

I'm not saying that Signy's going to learn Brigh's/Cadell's ways. I'm saying that the arrival of an opposite is usually a trigger for some kind of change and that the initial reaction to the arrival of an opposite is as above, because you've got two contradictory worlds clashing, which represent contradictory principles.



Hope that helps.


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## Ireth (Oct 27, 2013)

Oh, definitely. Change is what the bulk of the novel is about, mainly pertaining to Cadell's character development. He is the one to see the value in a truce between humans and Fae, who are normally bitter enemies, and as the plot goes on he pushes for the truce to become a lasting alliance. Sadly, many Fae still consider humans to be their playthings, and they want the truce to end as soon as the black-elven threat is eradicated.

Signy's presence is something that sprang up while I was writing, and didn't factor into my original ideas. Cadell was initially going to escape on his own and return home alone, much to the relief of everyone, not their suspicion. Her presence may have effects on both the main plot, that being everyone-vs.-villain, and the Cadell-vs.-society subplot.

As for your _Avatar_ comparison, that's pretty spot-on. Signy will likely learn the ways of the Fae anyway, though it isn't her primary intention. She just wants an escape from living under the villain's thumb, and Faerie happens to be the perfect place. She can survive better there than in any other of the Nine Realms of Norse cosmology, since there's no sun in Faerie to turn her to stone. The biggest issue is that she looks like a bad guy, and she doesn't want to have the Fae change her looks by magic (which is very possible) because then she'd be lying, even though it would probably be safer. She may change her mind in the future, but for now, she is what she is.


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## Sam Evren (Oct 27, 2013)

Thinking of the Norse, they wouldn't necessarily see submitting to death as a submissive action.

Think of it this way, in Signy's view, she understands how she's perceived, she understands the less than veiled hostility.

To willingly offer herself for death puts her life in her own hands. She's offering (as opposed to the Queen's taking it). She's deciding to put her life on the line to prove her intentions to Brigh (and in the same move depriving Brigh of the decision to kill her). 

She could even be defiant whilst doing it. This isn't a tail-between-the-legs sort of "submission." This is a stare-in-the-eyes, pride-in-posture offer. My life is my own, if you need it, _I_ offer it to you.

That level of commitment, that level of power in pride that lets someone walk willingly into the maw of death, could take Brigh by surprise. It might let her open a dialogue with Cadell simply to ask what Signy is doing.

The Vikings did things on the British Isles that the natives thought were with works of demons. In truth, the Vikings were just culturally---and religiously---different. The Vikings hit the monastery at Lindisfarne, and that was just unthinkable/unholy to the English.

The English labeled the Vikings as monstrous barbarians, but I believe they had their own rules, their own pride in battle. Those rules were just alien to the English.

Where I'm heading is that, perhaps, it wouldn't be strange for Signy to have pride enough to offer herself---not as spoil to victor, but as life/proof-of-life for Cadell. She broke her cultural stereotype (and probably laws from the sounds of it) to rescue Cadell. In her eyes, maybe it's in for a penny, in for a pound?

If that's not a common sight for Brigh (this prideful disdain of death), that might open a window of opportunity for dialogue. She could question Cadell as to the meaning of Signy's behavior.  That might give you a place to discuss the racial differences and prejudices.


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## Ireth (Oct 27, 2013)

Excellent points, Sam. I'll definitely take that into consideration.


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## Sam Evren (Oct 27, 2013)

I hope I'm not pestering you with this, Ireth, it's just such an interesting question you've posed. I hope I'm being more of an interactive sounding board than an annoyance. *really hopes*


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## Ireth (Oct 27, 2013)

No worries! This is giving me a lot to think about, which could really help the scene and the rest of the story, so it's all good.


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## The Dark One (Oct 28, 2013)

I think the answer is staring you in the face.

If the queen is undecided, why should you be anything less? Use her doubt as a plot driver and you may find the resolution suddenly leaps out in an unexpected way...eg, the queen, convinced by Cadell, finally gives her trust to the black elf...and that's when the reader discovers the black elf is truly evil after all.

Or not...endless possibilities.


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## Ireth (Oct 28, 2013)

Signy is not and never was intended to be evil; as the sole established good-aligned black-elf, she is a direct foil to Jarl, the sole evil-aligned light-elf in the story. Though she is something of an anti-hero, Signy does not serve the villain, though she lets the villain believe she does.

As for the queen, conflicting emotions and doubt are all well and good, but the trouble I'm having is with showing them purely through dialogue and body language. Hard to do when the queen is so standoffish and not really given to emotion, especially in sight of her subjects (and most of all, with one she's doubtful about).


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## Sam Evren (Oct 28, 2013)

Could the conflict show in microexpressions on the queen's face? Not everyone can read them---and for the person expressing them, they're involuntary.

Perhaps Cadell is familiar enough with the queen to be able to read these microexpressions. He may or may not even realize he's doing it. It would make him an excellent advisor, seeming to read the queen's mind at times. 

They could be portrayed, perhaps, as shifts in the eyes, letting her eyes linger on a person, or, say, drift in a certain direction (perhaps "right and down" if she's angry). 

Essentially Brigh would be broadcasting these microexpressions to everyone, but only Cadell would be "in-tune" enough to receive them.

You could give them a history. So, she looks down and right when she's angry because that's the direction of the drawer in her desk where she keeps her execution orders. Maybe her eyes flicker up and center when she's contemplating a positive outcome because that where her favorite fresco appears on the ceiling when she's sitting her throne?


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## Ireth (Oct 28, 2013)

I hadn't even *thought* of stuff like that! I have a hard time reading facial and bodily cues in general, so giving them to my characters, especially such subtle ones, sometimes doesn't even occur to me. Thanks for the tips!

*makes mental note to go back and add stuff like that to past scenes with Brigh*


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## Sam Evren (Oct 28, 2013)

I've seen articles and documentaries that discuss microexpressions as tools used by agencies like the FBI for questioning suspects and witnesses.

A quick search on YouTube brings up a number of videos (I think the top result is a 42 minute documentary) on microexpressions that might help explain the phenomenon further.

You're very welcome!


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## Deleted member 2173 (Dec 8, 2013)

This might sound odd, but interview her.  Act as though she sits in front of you and ask her.  Don't let her not answer. Force her.  If you treat the character this way, you will be surprised by what answers you get.  I couldn't find a voice for one character so I interviewed him.  Turns out he ended up sounding like an uptight proper Brit.  Then I had to figure out why, since he was a thieving fur-covered cross between a flying squirrel and chimp.  Turned out he's embarrassed by his race and what he and other races view as a lack of sophistication and class.  His character arc become gaining some pride in his people for what they can contribute to the world, and eventually lead his race to educate themselves beyond the basics of existence.


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