# Avoiding cliches with a common storyline?



## Ireth (Sep 28, 2013)

I've run into this question while outlining a short story idea for a writing contest. The basic premise is of a young Fae man falling in love with a young human woman, and urging her to go to Faerie with him forever. Their love is not at first sight; they spend a matter of months becoming friends and developing a mutual crush that blooms into romance. The crux of the plot hinges on the human woman's answer to the question "Will you come with me to Faerie?" I still haven't decided whether to go with a happy ending (that being an answer of "yes") or a more bittersweet ending ("I'm not ready to go with you yet; I have things to do here first that could take years. Are you willing to wait for me?") Said "things" include plans for college, working to save up money for tuition for said college, etc.

I understand that paranormal romance is all the rage lately, and my original idea for this Fae character (first mentioned here: http://mythicscribes.com/forums/brainstorming-planning/9840-mc-without-story.html ) was that he would NOT have a purely romance-focused story. But my initial idea was to put him in a novel-length work; the short story idea only came about afterward, and I figured a cute little romance would be a nice chance for me to get to know the character better before plopping him into a larger story.

To the point, I don't want this story to end up like so many other paranormal romances out there, even though it's a common one that probably dates back to when people first started having notions of the supernatural. I tried to avoid the FMC looking totally shallow and boy-oriented by giving her life plans that don't involve her love interest (namely the college thing), and a choice between endings. But I also know that people tend to like happy endings, and that unfortunately runs the risk of making her look shallow again ("Screw college, I have a boyfriend who's immortal! Off to Faerie, woo! Bye, family!"). Also, I have a limit of 1200-1500 words for this story, so there's not a whole lot of room to include other perspectives, like the FMC's family (all of whom are both familiar with and part of the supernatural world, being a family of mages). Any thoughts on how I should proceed?


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## Feo Takahari (Sep 28, 2013)

It's a happy ending if she makes the choice that makes her happy. If that's not going off with this guy, then so be it. You're already on the right track just by giving her the option of an ending that doesn't involve this guy--even if she does go with him, she can do so having considered other possibilities.

Also, I'm just going to leave this here:


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## Chessie (Sep 28, 2013)

I agree 100%. The happy choice depends on her own fulfillment. And the best part of this is that you have every ounce of power to display that to your readers.


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## Ireth (Sep 28, 2013)

Thanks to you both for your comments! I'm currently working on developing a third option they might take, which would probably involve Gavin (the Fae) staying in the mortal world for Elspeth's (the human) sake, so she could have both him and her college aspirations without a conflict. But even then there's some tension. Being only 3/4 Fae and 1/4 human, it may be (I haven't decided) that Gavin has difficulty staying in the mortal world for any great length of time, which is why he and Elspeth only see each other in person a few times over the course of several months; the rest of the time they communicate by letters left in a certain tree where they first encounter each other.

Also a hindrance is the fact that Gavin's Fae nature has to be kept secret from the majority of the human world, except for a few who know and believe, like Elspeth and her family. On top of that, 21st-century, urban Earth is pretty much the antithesis of ancient, quasi-medieval, anti-industrial Faerie. The amount of steel used in buildings and cars and stuff would be painful for Gavin to expose himself to for any length of time, even if he didn't actually touch it. And while humans who enter Faerie eventually become part-Fae themselves (e.g. Gavin's father, who fell in love with a Fae sometime in the late 10th century and has lived in Faerie ever since), a Fae cannot turn human, nor can a human who turns Fae revert to their original state without serious consequences. A human turned part-Fae who stays out of Faerie for too long will die, and not slowly, once the magic keeping them immortal wears off. As I said above, whether this is the same for mixed-blood children is still up in the air.


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## Rinzei (Sep 28, 2013)

This is connected a bit to what Feo posted in the comic strip, but also what seems to happen in a lot of these paranormal-romances - why does SHE have to give up mortality? Why doesn't HE give up immortality instead and stay with her? Not saying that story should change to this perspective - but it might be a point that comes up. In a lot of paranormal stories, it seems to have become more common recently that someone gives up MORTALITY, to be frozen in time with that person forever. But wasn't it once considered more romantic for someone to give up eternity, just to spend a handful of decades with the person they love? In addition to that, what if she doesn't want to be immortal? There are many people that would say no if offered immortality. They believe life is only precious and beautiful because it is fleeting and fragile, and immortality flies in the face of that - it would lose meaning if it didn't end at some point.


Edit: Oh, Ireth, you posted that just as I was writing mine! Seems you covered my point already.


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## Ireth (Sep 28, 2013)

Rinzei said:


> This is connected a bit to what Feo posted in the comic strip, but also what seems to happen in a lot of these paranormal-romances - why does SHE have to give up mortality? Why doesn't HE give up immortality instead and stay with her? Not saying that story should change to this perspective - but it might be a point that comes up. In a lot of paranormal stories, it seems to have become more common recently that someone gives up MORTALITY, to be frozen in time with that person forever. But wasn't it once considered more romantic for someone to give up eternity, just to spend a handful of decades with the person they love? In addition to that, what if she doesn't want to be immortal? There are many people that would say no if offered immortality. They believe life is only precious and beautiful because it is fleeting and fragile, and immortality flies in the face of that - it would lose meaning if it didn't end at some point.



I went over this in my above post. Gavin CAN'T give up his immortality. He doesn't have the choice to do so or not, like Arwen and the other half-elves in LOTR. Since the Fae part of him is inherited by blood and not forced on him as on a mortal who went into Faerie, it wouldn't wear off of Gavin as it would a human turned part-Fae. (Yes, I did decide this just now. It seems the most logical course of action, IMO.)


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## Svrtnsse (Sep 28, 2013)

He can wait.
He's immortal and he has all the time in the world.

She isn't and she doesn't. She has a life to live and a world to see and while she may be willing to give that up for him, once she's done it she can't go back.
Perhaps, what he can do is help her see the world, to get to know her heritage and where she came from. That way, as a wise old woman, when that time comes, she'll be of more use to the fae as an advisor on fae-human interaction.


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## Ireth (Sep 28, 2013)

Svrtnsse said:


> He can wait.
> He's immortal and he has all the time in the world.
> 
> She isn't and she doesn't. She has a life to live and a world to see and while she may be willing to give that up for him, once she's done it she can't go back.
> Perhaps, what he can do is help her see the world, to get to know her heritage and where she came from. That way, as a wise old woman, when that time comes, she'll be of more use to the fae as an advisor on fae-human interaction.



I imagine Gavin probably knows a lot about her heritage already, since he and Elspeth are actually VERY distant relations. Elspeth is the great-times-umpteen granddaughter of one of Gavin's illegitimate paternal half-siblings. The distance between them is several centuries, so it's not technically incest if they end up together. If you're interested in knowing why Gavin has illegitimate half-siblings at all... speaking for Gavin's father, let's just say that when one's wife is required to engage in relations with other men for survival, one tends to be a bit less narrow-minded about taking lovers on the side as well. (Also, Gavin's mom probably had a few threesomes with Gavin's dad and the mistresses. XD) Even helping her see the world has its own set of troubles. How would he take her all around the world without exposing himself to painful amounts of iron in any semi-urbanized area, and risking the exposure of Fae to the blissfully ignorant masses of the human world?

While letting Elspeth live a good long life is a fine idea, I just don't have the room to develop it properly in so short a story. I'm already almost 200 words in (that's almost 1/6 of my total word limit!), and the two lovers haven't even met yet. I'm not even sure I have enough space to work with the romance alone.


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## Svrtnsse (Sep 28, 2013)

I wasn't thinking her heritage personally, but, humanity's in general. 
It wouldn't be unthinkable that the fae have a different perspective on life than humans do, what with them being immortal and all. An actual human perspective on things may be helpful to them.

One way of fitting it in could be to start at the end, on her last evening as a human. You could have the two lovers sitting somewhere and talking about times past.
"Do you remember when..."
"This is the tree where..."
...that kind of thing.


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## Lord Ben (Sep 28, 2013)

In general when reading I'm fine with cliches.   However, cliche-breaking stories are almost the new cliche IMHO.  June Cleaver is the stereotypical 50's mother but in 2013 a woman who gives up on college, a career, etc to spend a life together with the boy she loves is a new idea all over again.

Eddard Stark dying was a breaking development but it seems like every new book I pick up tries their hardest to kill off good characters in unexpected ways now.

I wouldn't worry about it.


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## Ireth (Sep 28, 2013)

Lord Ben said:


> In general when reading I'm fine with cliches.   However, cliche-breaking stories are almost the new cliche IMHO.  June Cleaver is the stereotypical 50's mother but in 2013 a woman who gives up on college, a career, etc to spend a life together with the boy she loves is a new idea all over again.
> 
> Eddard Stark dying was a breaking development but it seems like every new book I pick up tries their hardest to kill off good characters in unexpected ways now.
> 
> I wouldn't worry about it.



Well, times do change, and with them do people's roles in and out of the home. What was normal in the 50's is not so much now. While I'm sure some women are comfortable being housewives and stay-at-home moms, not all of them are. I don't see anything wrong with an 18-year-old woman wanting to work and go to college rather than give up her whole life to be with a guy. And it's not just her lifestyle Elspeth stands to sacrifice, it's her entire *world*, not to mention her mortality. That's a whole new layer of conflict.


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## Lord Ben (Sep 28, 2013)

I didn't mean anything by it sexism wise.  Where a 50's woman didn't really have much of a choice someone today does.   But because they have a choice it's fine with them to choose whichever path they want to.  But her having a ton of other options that a woman a few generations ago didn't makes a choice to be with him much more powerful than it would choosing between a lifetime as a housewife to Don Draper or as a Faerie for eternity.


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## Chessie (Sep 29, 2013)

Ireth, your story sounds very awesome actually. I like the idea of a human facing the idea of giving up everything in her life for immortality. The thing is she's 18. Romance is so dramatic and fragile at that age. Just a surface opinion, but either way could be believable. I do think though that if she is enrolled in college etc that would be what she is most devoted to...depending on her personality. If she has strong character, she would reject the offer. Either way I don't think you can go wrong here so long as you stay true to her character.


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## Helen (Oct 2, 2013)

Ireth said:


> To the point, I don't want this story to end up like so many other paranormal romances out there, even though it's a common one that probably dates back to when people first started having notions of the supernatural. I tried to avoid the FMC looking totally shallow and boy-oriented by giving her life plans that don't involve her love interest (namely the college thing), and a choice between endings. But I also know that people tend to like happy endings, and that unfortunately runs the risk of making her look shallow again ("Screw college, I have a boyfriend who's immortal! Off to Faerie, woo! Bye, family!"). Also, I have a limit of 1200-1500 words for this story, so there's not a whole lot of room to include other perspectives, like the FMC's family (all of whom are both familiar with and part of the supernatural world, being a family of mages). Any thoughts on how I should proceed?



There'll be a romcom out soon (and another and another) - you'll have seen them all before but they will be popular and work because each will somehow be done differently.

So it's not the subject, but the execution. You just gotta find an angle.


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## Devor (Oct 2, 2013)

I think it's a mistake to count college, all by itself, as something fulfilling.  College is a means to an end, not an end itself.  If she "chooses college," and that's as deep as her decision goes, I personally would be very critical.

I think you should consider an answer based on how differently they view life as they come from different worlds.  What's life like for the Fae?  Issues such as time, society, education, love and fulfillment could all be seen very differently.  I would look long and hard at those differences and explore the conflicts which arise from them.


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## Ireth (Oct 2, 2013)

Devor said:


> I think it's a mistake to count college, all by itself, as something fulfilling.  College is a means to an end, not an end itself.  If she "chooses college," and that's as deep as her decision goes, I personally would be very critical.
> 
> I think you should consider an answer based on how differently they view life as they come from different worlds.  What's life like for the Fae?  Issues such as time, society, education, love and fulfillment could all be seen very differently.  I would look long and hard at those differences and explore the conflicts which arise from them.



Well, of course college isn't the be-all and end-all of her future plans. Obviously she'd have a career in mind for after that's done (what else are degrees and bachelors for, after all?), and plans for striking out on her own and living her own life, being able to support herself, etc.

As for the things you mentioned, they are incredibly different for humans and for Fae. I'm all for exploring the conflicts, but the one thing I'm afraid of is the very tight word limit I have for this contest (1200-1500 words). I don't have a lot of space to go into depth about all the pertinent issues, so I have to pare it down to the basics. Though I'm starting to think I should choose a different story for the contest, and let this idea grow to however big it needs to be if I want to continue with it.


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## Devor (Oct 2, 2013)

Ireth said:


> I'm all for exploring the conflicts, but the one thing I'm afraid of is the very tight word limit I have for this contest (1200-1500 words).



I was just going through the thread a little closer and realizing how much I had given you a non-answer.

At 1500 words you've got pretty much two or three scenes or stages to the story, so you need to play them well.  That's pretty much they meet, their love presents a conflict, the conflict presents one character a choice, and a brief resolution shows that choice playing out.

With a word count that small, if this is for a competition, then you need to find an answer that goes beyond the first three obvious choices.  Here's the list of endings in the order I think of them:

She goes with him.
She stays, they break up.
She gets a career by day, goes with fae by night.
He stays with her.
She kills him and makes a career selling his pixie dust on ebay.

But thinking about it more, I think a good love or breakup story has the biggest audience if you can make it stand out well.  That makes me take a second look at the reasons she might break up with him.

 - She wants a career (the more specific the better).
 - She realizes she doesn't love him (a bit of a fizzle).
 - She realizes she can't tolerate life with the Fae (she looks a bit weak).
 - She's ready to go but something prevents her.
 - She's ready to go, but he offends her somehow.

That last one's starting to get interesting.  Maybe she could give some kind of impassioned speech about the indignity of his actions or attitude regarding their relationship.

I don't know.  I could probably keep going, but my thoughts were interrupted by a lot of bed-time screaming coming from my oldest and I can't focus anymore right now.


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## Ireth (Oct 2, 2013)

Devor said:


> I was just going through the thread a little closer and realizing how much I had given you a non-answer.
> 
> At 1500 words you've got pretty much two or three scenes or stages to the story, so you need to play them well.  That's pretty much they meet, their love presents a conflict, the conflict presents one character a choice, and a brief resolution shows that choice playing out.
> 
> ...



Well, options 1 and 2 are the obvious ones. Option 3 has its difficulties, what with the nature of Faerie and the difficulties of inter-realm travel for those who aren't Fae (as I must have pointed out in a previous post). Option 4 is, as I've also said, not too feasible. And option 5... funny, but really not the tone I was going for. XD Plus, he's not a pixie. No sparkles. 



Devor said:


> But thinking about it more, I think a good love or breakup story has the biggest audience if you can make it stand out well.  That makes me take a second look at the reasons she might break up with him.
> 
> - She wants a career (the more specific the better).
> - She realizes she doesn't love him (a bit of a fizzle).
> ...



I'm not sure I want to go the breakup route, honestly. It seems like it would be a disappointment no matter how I write it. You're spot-on about most of those options you listed; numbers 2 and 3 would be the most disappointing. Number 4 is interesting, but I don't know what could prevent her other than the aforesaid job or falling out of love, unless I want to be needlessly cruel and have her hit by a car on the day she makes her choice.

Number 5 just rubs me the wrong way. A Fae wouldn't give a shit about the indignity of his actions toward a mortal unless he was actually intentionally hurting her and then felt genuinely bad about it. What's there to be upset about? It's not like he sneaks into her room every night to spy on her as she's sleeping. The day they meet, he comes _to_ her window to talk, but they each are careful to stay on their own side -- him outside, her inside. Nothing creepy there.


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## Devor (Oct 2, 2013)

Ireth said:


> Well, options 1 and 2 are the obvious ones. Option 3 has its difficulties, what with the nature of Faerie and the difficulties of inter-realm travel for those who aren't Fae (as I must have pointed out in a previous post). Option 4 is, as I've also said, not too feasible. And option 5... funny, but really not the tone I was going for. XD Plus, he's not a pixie. No sparkles.
> 
> I'm not sure I want to go the breakup route, honestly.



At 1,500 words, you can scratch 3.  That leaves you with happily ever after, and that's going to be the most difficult to pull off effectively.

Have you thought about other sources of conflict besides her debating her choice?  Maybe she has other responsibilities she needs to reconcile before she can go with him, or maybe there's somebody else involved that gets in the way.  That way you can find a way to make the ending satisfying in other ways.


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## Ireth (Oct 2, 2013)

Devor said:


> Have you thought about other sources of conflict besides her debating her choice?  Maybe she has other responsibilities she needs to reconcile before she can go with him, or maybe there's somebody else involved that gets in the way.  That way you can find a way to make the ending satisfying in other ways.



The "other responsibilities" is more or less where I was trying to go with the whole college-aspirations train of thought. I don't know about bringing in another living obstacle; my first thought was of a romantic rival, but I detest most love triangles (I can't say all, because I've RPed one that I rather enjoyed [except for the fact that my character wound up on the losing end, and he could see it coming a mile away].) And having Elspeth's family disagree with her choice wouldn't work, because that would just make her seem all the more like a shallow rebellious teenager. Plus I plan for her mother to actually support her in this relationship -- maybe not actively pushing her toward it, but saying that she's okay with it as long as Gavin is good to her.


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## Lord Ben (Oct 2, 2013)

What she's specifically going for might be a motivation too.  Maybe her brother has xyz disease and she's going to school on full scholarship to be a neurosurgeon or something.  A chance of making a difference vs immortal happiness.


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## Ireth (Oct 2, 2013)

Lord Ben said:


> What she's specifically going for might be a motivation too.  Maybe her brother has xyz disease and she's going to school on full scholarship to be a neurosurgeon or something.  A chance of making a difference vs immortal happiness.



She doesn't have a brother, and her sister is fine (and also has a boyfriend who's a healer mage). Elspeth isn't too terribly fleshed out in my head yet, so I'm not too sure where her career ambitions lie. Possibly something that would be made easier by her magic, though that also is a tricky thing to answer, since I haven't decided on her powers yet either. Not that I'll have a lot of time to show them off in 1500 words or less.


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## Devor (Oct 2, 2013)

Ireth said:


> The "other responsibilities" is more or less where I was trying to go with the whole college-aspirations train of thought.



I was thinking more along the lines of a family member she's supporting, or a friend she made a promise to.


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## Ireth (Oct 2, 2013)

Devor said:


> I was thinking more along the lines of a family member she's supporting, or a friend she made a promise to.



Ah, that makes sense. Not sure how I'd get that across in such a short story though, with only three or four scenes to establish everything. If I only bring it up close to the end, it might seem tacked-on, but I can't see how it would be relevant before, when Elspeth and Gavin are just friends. I need that space to develop their relationship, not just Elspeth's reasons for not following him.


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## Devor (Oct 2, 2013)

That's a problem you can solve once you figure out what you're going with.  You could open on her making a promise, or have a tender moment interrupted by something connected to it.  It's hard to answer in the abstract, but once you can pin it down it shouldn't be hard.


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## DameiThiessen (Oct 5, 2013)

I personally am a fan of the bittersweet ending. The Fox and the Hound is a good example of this (the movie, not the book, which is sad as hell). The two are best friends, then grow apart and are forced to hate each other. But then they put aside their differences and go their separate ways and in the end there is a moment where you see them both happy apart.

I cried. D:

But I also cried (and I should note that these are the only two moments in cinema history I did) watching Cloud Atlas, where Hae-Joo Chang dies and Sonmi-451 says "If I cared to imagine a heaven, I would imagine a door opening and behind it, I would find him there..." And the door opens in the 1849 timeline and the two are reunited again as different characters.

So there's my two cents. I vote bittersweet.


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