# You know you are a writing family when...



## Russ (Apr 19, 2017)

On your evening walk, you and your wife spend a half hour debating the merits of:


"...who stared at him with crocodile eyes."  versus

"...who fixed him with an ice pick stare."


(any thoughts on which you prefer also appreciated)


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## TheCrystallineEntity (Apr 19, 2017)

Ooh, this sounds fun! Except...I'm the only writer in my family...


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## DragonOfTheAerie (Apr 19, 2017)

When "well, I finished my book today" isn't an uncommon thing to hear at the dinner table. 

Ice pick stare is much better. Crocodile eyes sounds cliche and doesn't really evoke much for me.


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## Lisselle (Apr 19, 2017)

I like ... "...who fixed him with an ice pick stare." It conjured a nasty image, and while crocodiles are driven by a primal search for food, there is no true malice in them. Yet an ice pick is inanimate and channels the intent of the wielder.

My children love literature, and my daughter has started to write Poetry.

I remember when my Mum was alive we would sit around the kitchen table reciting our favourite poems, mine was 'La Belle Dame sans Merci', and Mum's was 'we are seven'. Yet we recited many more. I could never finish 'The Highwayman', it always made me cry.

You and your wife sound like Kindred Spirits.


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## Insolent Lad (Apr 19, 2017)

I don't live with any writers but my sister and niece (Jean James and Mary James) are. When we get together we spend a certain amount of time trashing the latest best-sellers (Isn't that James Patterson the worst yet?).

On the other hand, I have dated writers and I suspect my critiques of their efforts contributed to more than one breakup.


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## Ban (Apr 19, 2017)

Ice pick stare all the way. Crocodile eyes just makes me think of "shedding crocodile tears", which in turn makes me think of a wimpy reptile sitting in a corner in the phetus position. I know that's not really the intended meaning of the phrase, but still. 
So for me you have on the one hand a rather menacing image of an icepick and on the other hand a very underwhelming image of an overemotional crocodile.


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## TheCrystallineEntity (Apr 19, 2017)

Both of them sound...either unintentionally funny or kind of melodramatic.  Wouldn't it be easier to just say 'he/she fixed him/her with a piercing, icy stare'?


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## Ban (Apr 19, 2017)

TheCrystallineEntity said:


> Both of them sound...either unintentionally funny or kind of melodramatic.  Wouldn't it be easier to just say 'he/she fixed him/her with a piercing, icy stare'?



That's not very evocative though. I think it's important to paint clear images for the reader when the situation calls for it. Humans are visual creature and literature usually has no visuals so in my opinion the writer needs to overcompensate sometimes to force the reader to see his/her fictional world as clearly as they do.


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## TheCrystallineEntity (Apr 19, 2017)

^Oh. Sorry.

I have been told that my writing is vivid, but there's no need for me to go overboard more than I already have. 



> Humans are visual creature and literature usually has no visuals so in my opinion the writer needs to overcompensate sometimes to force the reader to see his/her fictional world as clearly as they do.



I know that, thanks. I've been a visual creature all my life, thinking in pictures or movies.


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## Chessie (Apr 19, 2017)

I like the second one! But both of those are good. As for family, my abuelo (grandfather) was a published author who wrote history books mostly about the Panama Canal. He also published a nursing memoir that I recall him furiously working on daily after dinner for months back when I was 13-14 years old. Throughout my childhood/upbringing, he was the one who encouraged my writing more than anyone. I like to think he'd be proud of me today.


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## La Volpe (Apr 20, 2017)

I know exactly zero writers that I can physically visit/talk to. So that's fun.



Banten said:


> Ice pick stare all the way. Crocodile eyes just makes me think of "shedding crocodile tears", which in turn makes me think of a wimpy reptile sitting in a corner in the phetus position. I know that's not really the intended meaning of the phrase, but still.
> So for me you have on the one hand a rather menacing image of an icepick and on the other hand a very underwhelming image of an overemotional crocodile.



I got the exact same impression from "crocodile eyes", ha. So ice pick stare for me as well.



TheCrystallineEntity said:


> Both of them sound...either unintentionally funny or kind of melodramatic.  Wouldn't it be easier to just say 'he/she fixed him/her with a piercing, icy stare'?



I dunno, "piercing, icy stare" has a few problems that "ice pick stare" doesn't (at least for me). Not that it's nearly enough for me to notice if I were to encounter it in a passage, but since we're analysing here, I have these issues with "piercing, icy stare":

First, it uses two separate images ("piercing" and "icy") while "ice pick" uses one image which implies the same characteristics. Also, piercing and icy are general terms, while ice pick is very specific. And I've always found that shorter and more specific images tend to work better.

Second, "piercing" is also sometimes used as a positive description (e.g. "piercing blue eyes" and "eyes that pierce into my soul" and whatnot). While "ice pick" immediately conjures up associations with stabbing in my mind.

And third, "piercing, icy stare" is used enough that I recognise it, while "ice pick stare" is a fresher description that I've never encountered it (at least not that I can remember).


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## Demesnedenoir (Apr 20, 2017)

I'm not in love with either, but the second is better by itself. As mentioned, crocodile evokes tears. Much would depend on context, of course.


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## Chessie (Apr 20, 2017)

Demesnedenoir said:


> I'm not in love with either, but the second is better by itself. As mentioned, crocodile evokes tears. Much would depend on context, of course.



There would definitely be tears if you came across a crocodile...right?


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## Demesnedenoir (Apr 20, 2017)

There would be bodily fluids, not so sure about tears.



Chessie said:


> There would definitely be tears if you came across a crocodile...right?


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## Russ (Apr 24, 2017)

Thanks to all who commented.  I was in favour of the ice pick one.


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