# Help! I Overdid It!



## DragonOfTheAerie (Jul 1, 2016)

Hi, this is a problem i have been struggling with for months, and i was hoping you guys could help me out a little. 

So basically, this: My story takes place in kind of a dystopian/evil totalitarian government that exacts absolute control over its citizens. I've spent lots of time designing and planning this dystopian society and how it works. A large part of the characters' journeys at the beginning is seeing through the lies the government has fed them and escaping its control. However...

...I think my oppressive, all-powerful government is a little TOO oppressive and all-powerful. 

First, i'm having problems thinking of goals and motivations for my characters at the very beginning, since the society pretty much lays out peoples' lives for them and there aren't any choices. Also, conforming to the society is by far the most comfortable choice. I want my characters to be proactive, but right now my evil government has them so brainwashed that they seem happy being oppressed and freedomless. Writing is tough when all your characters want to do is sit around and live their normal lives. 

In my earlier drafts, my main character was rebellious (for no good reason) and naturally got herself into conflict with the society, because she was just uncontrollable. Now, I can't really have that. If she behaved the way she did in my earlier drafts she would be dragged off and brainwashed or killed. A source of conflict for the beginning would be conflict with the society itself, but you can't really do much against the society. They'll crush you. Also, there's no reason to, since rebelling won't get you anywhere but dead. The evil government is simply too powerful. 

A short outline of the government's omnipotence: Surveillance everywhere. By that i mean spies in among the people. People are encouraged to spy on each other. Also, people have basically no privacy. Those who work for the government are constantly tracking your movements, searching your home and belongings. Also, systematic brainwashing from birth. Kids go to schools where they are fed lies throughout childhood and adolescence, and then when they become adults they work for the government. People are taught to basically worship the government. Serving it is their highest cause. Also, no one can read or write, and conversation on certain subjects is banned, so ideas can't spread. 

This is causing me lots of problems with the plot. First, I have to get my characters to actually want to do something other than be brainwashed sheep. Then, once the "rebellion" is started, the characters have to have someplace to meet and discuss plans and do stuff the government wouldn't want them to do without surveillance. Also, i'm having the hardest time explaining why the characters have certain skills they need for the story, like the ability to read and write or the ability to use weapons. 

In summary, i think i overdid it. Is a government THIS all-powerful even usable in a story? Can my characters find a way (not to mention a will) to work against the government, or should i poke some holes? Any ideas as to which holes I should poke? 

Any and all advice is appreciated.


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## Queshire (Jul 1, 2016)

My first thought reading this is that rather than having your rebel come from the bottom you could have them come from the top. Naturally the guys at the top of the oppressive government would want, and probably by default have, more freedom than the proles and their greater access to the dark secrets of the government could provide motivation for rebellion. Personally I think having such a character as the MC would be interesting, but if you don't want to go that route you could still have a character like that as the leader, or maybe just sponsor, of the rebellion. He'd be in a position to help protect the rebellion and keep an eye out for potential recruits.


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## DragonOfTheAerie (Jul 1, 2016)

Queshire said:


> My first thought reading this is that rather than having your rebel come from the bottom you could have them come from the top. Naturally the guys at the top of the oppressive government would want, and probably by default have, more freedom than the proles and their greater access to the dark secrets of the government could provide motivation for rebellion. Personally I think having such a character as the MC would be interesting, but if you don't want to go that route you could still have a character like that as the leader, or maybe just sponsor, of the rebellion. He'd be in a position to help protect the rebellion and keep an eye out for potential recruits.



I've already got the position of the MC established, and she comes from the bottom more or less. Other important characters, though, are probably higher up with more privileges and knowledge. The rebellion doesn't have a leader at the beginning, but there are characters with insider access to the inner workings of the government. It would be very tricky to give the main character this position though.


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## Saigonnus (Jul 1, 2016)

Perhaps the measures the government uses to control the population at large simply doesn't work with a small percent of the popularion. For example, if mass hypnosis is used, there would always be a group unaffected by it. These could be the rebels. 

Another idea that comes to mind is perhaps (given their lives are so miserable at the bottom) they tend use illicit substances which might alter their perceptions of how the government wants them to see things into how the world actually is. 


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## troynos (Jul 1, 2016)

The problem is that there seems to be no reason to rebel.  Sure, they're in an oppressive society but if you don't know any other way then there's nothing to rebel against because you don't know anything else.  

Maybe introduce an outside element that makes people start questioning the government?

The biggest question to answer would be: why is the government this way?  What motivation did they have to be this oppressive?  Is there something that happened in the past, where people got out of control and destroyed everything, which could be motivation to want to control everything.

Why would the people at the top be any different then the ones at the bottom?

Are there two different classes?  If so, then the answer is that the MC gets a glimpse of what life can be outside of the "slums" (for lack of a better word) and doesn't want to go back.

The motivation to rebel would need to come from outside, something that makes the MC start questioning everything they know.


Also, if there citizens are encouraged to spy on each other and report to the government then it's not a totally oppressive society and little rebellions are happening all over the place, otherwise there would be nothing to spy and report on.  So the MC starts a larger rebellion because her (?) parents are killed for some stupid reason that seems very minor but it enough to spur her on.


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## ThinkerX (Jul 2, 2016)

Something happens to crack the faÃ§ade put in place by the authorities.  Something that directly affects your characters.

Say, a major fire - maybe caused by a government project - burns down half the MC's town...and the government authorities decide to blame the MC's directly or indirectly.  Getting accused of something you are innocent of is enough to prompt asking questions.

Another thing: Totalitarian societies strive for their subjects to worship the government.  However, the result is often widespread, quiet disillusionment. Case in point - the old USSR.  The national newspaper (Pravda) back in the day had a regular section dedicated to ideology/party propaganda.  It was regularly used for toilet paper.

More, those at the top *always* abuse the system for their personal benefit.  The official system is monumentally slow and corrupt.  Getting things done means trading favors, working deals on the side.  Your MC's could easily play a role in these side deals.  This might also account for their education and the availability of a hideout - those in charge understand the MC's are players in the 'favor' system and will be reluctant to go after what they depend on.

There is also the internal nationalism situation.  Totalitarian states comprised of multiple former countries tend to suppress nationalistic issues without really solving them.  Given the chance, they come back with a vengeance.  Again, look at the way the USSR broke up - despite decades of heavy policing.


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## skip.knox (Jul 2, 2016)

What troynos says is where you want to begin. Have something happen that turns her world inside out. She witnesses an atrocity. She hears a secret. There's already an underground movement and she stumbles into it. There are plenty of such devices around.

More importantly, though, you really cannot have the movement start with her. You need to find some reason why lots of people are already so unhappy they would join the movement. There needs to be some element of the disenfranchised as well as some element that is privileged. If all are enjoying the fruits of a well-ordered society, then there's nothing to work with.

One statement puzzled me. They can't read or write? Then what are schools for? And how is the movement going to spread? 

At any rate, plenty of novels have tackled the little guy versus the powerful government, starting with _1984_. Have a look around and you're sure to find some inspiration.


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## sandtrout (Jul 2, 2016)

I've got two ideas which might help you. First, if following the goverment is the best way for personell progress(economicly, status etc.), have your MC seeking a promotion of some sorts, which is denied to her for no good reasons. 
Second, She might stumble upon the preexisting resistance movement and being forced to support them through blackmailing her. She might start out thinking that she can somehow alarm the goverment to them, raising her status, only to gradually come to support their cause by free will.


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## DragonOfTheAerie (Jul 2, 2016)

Wow, thanks for all the ideas, guys! All of it is very helpful. 
I keep coming back to the idea that my MC should be motivated by her relationships with other people. I think that family-based stories, and stories based on love, are the most powerful, and a character's love for another character could be a powerful motivation that transcends any and all other obligations. Including that of the government and a character's own life and happiness. 
In this story my main character's primary relationship is with her brother. She doesn't really have a family aside from him, and their relationship will be central to the story later on, so, thematically and logically, there is no better motivation she could have to work against the government. I'm thinking of having him rebel against the government and then get imprisoned or threatened with death or torture, and she tries to save him, and in the process gets the help of other people who are against the government. However, I'm having trouble with why he would rebel in the first place. That's why they have to have motivations besides protecting each other. He could get wrongly blamed for something, I suppose. Also, I don't know how she would be able to avoid being imprisoned, tortured and killed as well, trying to save him. I'm not sure what she would be able to do about her brother being taken from her. 
Maybe, at the start of the story, her motivation is to serve the government and be like everyone else, but then she starts to realize that it's pushing her away from her brother, and then when he gets captured, she has to choose? 
So, thoughts? If you have any thoughts, keep them coming, they do help. I have a lot of writing anxiety, and articulating my thoughts to other people helps me to get my creativity unfrozen.


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## troynos (Jul 2, 2016)

Have her working for the government.  Something low level but connected so she knows there's a rebellion.  From her biased (controled) POV, the government is only good for the people.  She gets into arguements with her brother about it all the time, where he borders on treason to the point she would have to turn him in but it's her brother so she doesn't.  She doesn't understand how anyone can feel that way about the government

Then her brother gets captured in a way that isn't his fault or it's such that he should be pardoned but isn't.  The government is going to make an example of him.  She uses her connections to get him free and in the process starts seeing the cracks in the government's facade and ends up joining her brother in the rebellion.


I'd read Claudia Gray's Star Wars novel Lost Stars if you haven't already.  It would be a good resource as she provides excellent reasons for why people would still work for an obviously wrong system of government.  After Alderan, she still has one of the main characters working for the Empire well the other joins the rebellion.  Both of their reasons makes perfect sense within the context of their world view.   That could help you out


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## Nomadica (Jul 2, 2016)

There will be people that want freedom more than whatever comforts the government provides. Some people may not even like the comforts. She could simply want something not allowed or controlled in her society like worship/ religion, a different lifestyle that could involve taking care of yourself more, the right to make your own medical choices (imagine being forced to take drugs or undergo surgery because a doctor says so) maybe the government chooses who gets to have children and who gets neutered, maybe the job she is assigned does evil things at times. People have fought and died for the right to speak. Just because its easier to obey doesn't mean there aren't sacrifices. So she finds these sacrifices intolerable, she wants something she cant have.


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## DragonOfTheAerie (Jul 2, 2016)

troynos said:


> Have her working for the government.  Something low level but connected so she knows there's a rebellion.  From her biased (controled) POV, the government is only good for the people.  She gets into arguements with her brother about it all the time, where he borders on treason to the point she would have to turn him in but it's her brother so she doesn't.  She doesn't understand how anyone can feel that way about the government
> 
> Then her brother gets captured in a way that isn't his fault or it's such that he should be pardoned but isn't.  The government is going to make an example of him.  She uses her connections to get him free and in the process starts seeing the cracks in the government's facade and ends up joining her brother in the rebellion.
> 
> ...



I'll look into that book. I'm a huge Star Wars fan.


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## skip.knox (Jul 2, 2016)

Terry Gilliam's movie, _Brazil_ does a pretty good job of showing how one person can slowly come to question his reality. But notice there, too, there is a pre-existing resistance movement. So you really are come full circle to your original question. Why would people *in general* resist? I don't see any way around denying them something. They get A, B and C and that's great, but some people want D and E, and those are forbidden.


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## RedMetalHunter (Jul 3, 2016)

DragonOfTheAerie said:


> This is causing me lots of problems with the plot. First, I have to get my characters to actually want to do something other than be brainwashed sheep. Then, once the "rebellion" is started, the characters have to have someplace to meet and discuss plans and do stuff the government wouldn't want them to do without surveillance.


Rural areas would be significantly harder to dominate, than cities, even for the most all powerful of governments. People know each other, and would be able to hide things more efficiently.



> Also, i'm having the hardest time explaining why the characters have certain skills they need for the story, like the ability to read and write or the ability to use weapons.


Reading could have been taught by a strong-willed grandparent, secretly, or perhaps was part of a parent's government job and a curious child found misplaced lesson books.

Weapon use would depend on the type. Swinging a club is pretty easy to learn. Pointing a double barrel shotgun and pulling the trigger is also pretty user friendly. A family member could have been a government agent and curious children got to messing with...?



> Can my characters find a way (not to mention a will) to work against the government, or should i poke some holes? Any ideas as to which holes I should poke?



You could go with a strong willed grandparent, parent, uncle, etc, that saw some spark of curiosity in one of the children. They could have passed on the ability to "go along, to get along" while maintaining a curious and distrustful mind. Mix that with a renegade government official who shines some light on an atrocity. That official could disappear quickly, but would have put a little spark of rebellion in to your MC and/or others. Mix all of that with a personal traumatic event (like others have suggested) and that throws a little fuel on that spark, and you now have the fires of liberty burning in someone's heart.


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## Russ (Jul 3, 2016)

When I read your OP I thought to myself "this problem is not a problem it is an opportunity."

Your story links into some traditional, very primal, very important themes such as the love of liberty, the price of freedom and the need to battle against tyranny.

I thought that the overwhelming power of the state is exactly what you want.  Your "villain" is inherently enormously powerful and represents something most people despise.  The challenge for your character is huge and seemingly insurmountable, which is exactly what you want in powerful fiction.  Think of the power difference between a Dragon and a Hobbit and you get the idea.

On the practical problem of why to rebel, as many people have noted, you don't need much to get it going.  All you really need to do is make the protagonist young (i.e. Rebel without a cause).  It strikes me inherent in human nature and society for some people to rebel for good or virtually non-existent reasons.

You may also wish to keep in mind that if the government is smotheringly oppressive even small victories can seem huge in the context.  This offers you a ton of great opportunities for character development.

I would not be so concerned with the government being epically oppressive, because to tell the story I think you want to tell that is exactly what you want.

Good luck with this piece, I look forward to seeing it someday.


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## skip.knox (Jul 3, 2016)

One thing about extremely tyrannical governments is, they are highly centralized, which means they are usually vulnerable at some single, critical point. It doesn't have to be kill the dictator, it can be some other point. Think of it as a pressure point on an otherwise immensely powerful fighter. Achilles had one of those.


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## FifthView (Jul 3, 2016)

DragonOfTheAerie said:


> In this story my main character's primary relationship is with her brother. She doesn't really have a family aside from him, and their relationship will be central to the story later on, so, thematically and logically, there is no better motivation she could have to work against the government.



I'd look at why we have governments in the first place.  Of course, there might be many reasons.  But a government that is powerful vs a much larger citizen class that is weaker would leave me to believe that, on some level, the government is _responsible_ for the citizenry.  I mean that basic problems of society must be fixed, alleviated, controlled, etc. by the government because the government has the power to get things done (including deciding what things must be done) and the citizenry must have instruction from the government (told what to do about it) because they themselves do not inherently have this power.  Even in a totalitarian dystopia, this holds true.  There must be trash collection.  There must be running water.  There must be food.

So a point of weakness, a _casus belli_ (or would that be _casus re-belli_? Heh.) might arise from the failure of that government to fulfill its role.

Maybe, for instance, your MCs brother becomes infected with a disease for which there is no cure (something like the relatively recent appearance of Zika virus in our own world, only worse), and the government's failure to cure him or to even bother trying to find a cure sets her off.


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## Steel Dragon (Jul 4, 2016)

Have you ever seen _Equilibrium_. Christian Bale movie before he became Batman. It's about a dystopian society and its sotry might give you what you need.



Spoiler: If you don't want to be spoiled



The government actually turns their best operative (Bale) into a rebel so that he will find the underground rebellion and deliver them to the government. However, by the time he does it, he's genuinely become one of the rebels and winds up being the one who brings down the government. 

Maybe your MC is turned into a rebel for this reason?



You can read my synopsis, or watch it unspoiled first and come back.


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## Laurence (Jul 9, 2016)

If everybody's truly comfortable with their situation then consider what has to change her mind. One trigger that comes to mind is a traumatic incident such as a blow to the head or loss of a baby causing your MC to develop what she thinks is self-destructive behavior. She could essentially become an anarchist for the sake of forgetting her trauma, employing the help of some stupid people, then realise she's doing something right along the way.

Don't forget to end it in crushing hopelessness!


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