# Insane nitpicking



## Garren Jacobsen (May 15, 2015)

As I am sure some of you are aware there is a series out there on youtube called "everything wrong with." In this series the narrator man picks apart everything that is wrong with a movie. They have done Harry Potter, Avatar, and other movies. They take nitpicky details and use those nitpicks for laughs. 

I want to ask in your consumption of entertainment media (books, movies, t.v. shows, etc.) what have you nitpicked and if you have nitpicked did it result in a new story, world, or something like that for your writing?

I have done this a few times and written about the following experience once. I nitpicked the book series of Harry Potter a bit on some of the logic. Especially as it relates to the magic and the world. One thing that really frustrates me is why didn't Voldy or some other wizard try to transfigure some of the air around their enemy into a nerve gas. Or why didn't Harry or Hermione think to have a back up weapon, like oh I don't know a shotgun/handgun, so that if they lost their wand they wouldn't be utterly helpless. Wizards, especially the ones steeped in the wizard world, wouldn't expect that and when they whipped it out and pulled the trigger blam-o no more bad wizard. But, to me, the most frustrating of all was the escape plan for Harry at the beginning of book 7. Dude's Voldy and company would _expect_ you to use magical means of escape. Do something mundane like _order a cab ya idgits_. This would have worked really well if they had H.P. invisibility cloak his way to a neighbor three blocks away or so and transfigure into one of the residents while they were on vacation. Bah, so frustrating.

But this frustration helped me world build a place where the magical people weren't complete nincompoops concerning non-magic things. Which, in turn, helped me write my second novel. 

So tell me, have you ever nitpicked something that helped you write something, or just nitpicked something because it made your brain itch?


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## Caged Maiden (May 15, 2015)

So many nit-picks, so little time.



I have gripes more with TV series, so here are a few of mine:

*New Beauty and the Beast* (redo from the '80s):  The love story was going so well and I was SO feeling it.  BUt the writers blew a PERFECT opportunity to bring the characters together romantically (at the wedding scene) and instead made us watch something like five more episodes before they got hot and heavy.  AND, when they did eventually take their clothes off, it was more a soap operaesque "I don't want to lose you" bullshit representation of love, and I nearly threw up.  Okay, I didn't throw up, I stopped watching a few episodes later when the "theme" of I don't want to lose you finally accumulated enough straws to break my back (and heart) forever.  I really liked it up till then, but it became unwatchable for me.  LESSON:  when the time is right, rip off the characters' clothes and let them get on with their own business.  Sexual tension is one thing, but dragging it out forever in the wrong way, only to have it blow into an out of proportion smutfest is just...gross and unrealistic, and it doesn't resonate with me.

*UK Being Human:*  I was really into the characters and then in one season, they kill off two of them (for no reason) and introduce two more to take their places.  NOt only that, but the revolving door of one-off characters exploded into a whirlwind of names and personalities that no longer held together the cohesive plot of the earlier show, and only led to my husband and me asking, "Who's going to die today, ya think?"  OVER and OVER.  Bad planning, poor writing, and overall a stupid plot about Satan and a baby and all kinds of other garbage rolled into one silly story line.  The US one was much more cohesive.  LESSON: do not kill characters "just 'cause", and remember how characters are the filter through which the story is relayed to the reader.  They ARE the story.  They aren't "replaceable" as easily as some folks believe.  Make strong characters and a proper story for them, and though I get that there are other elements at work here (like actors who quit, new writers who come on board, etc.), remember the characters' place and if they don't fit into the story anymore, find an appropriate way to get rid of them.  DO NOT just have one of them stake the other and say, "Sorry, man, I'm doing it because I love you."

That's it for now, but I can probably think of a few more.


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## Tom (May 15, 2015)

I nitpick _everything._ Especially stuff I like. _Especially_ grammar.

I think my most recent nitpick was when I was rewatching Captain America: Winter Soldier. Love that movie, but some of the fight scenes....just...*facepalm* MMA is cool, but peppering your action scenes with too much hand-to-hand creates confusion and chaos!

Oh, and the bridge scene, where the guys with the big-ass guns are standing on cars, firing at Cap and getting picked off one by one by ricocheting bullets? The whole time, I was yelling at the screen, "Shoot at his legs! They aren't covered by the shield at all! Shoot at his legs! MY GOD, HOW STUPID ARE YOU SHOOT AT HIS LEGS THEY'RE COMPLETELY UNPROTECTED!!!"

(Yes, that's basically word-for-word what I said. I do get that worked up.)


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## Gryphos (May 15, 2015)

> Or why didn't Harry or Hermione think to have a back up weapon, like oh I don't know a shotgun/handgun, so that if they lost their wand they wouldn't be utterly helpless. Wizards, especially the ones steeped in the wizard world, wouldn't expect that and when they whipped it out and pulled the trigger blam-o no more bad wizard.



Well, remember, Harry Potter takes place in the UK. Here you can't just pop to the mall and buy a gat. The only people who really own guns are gangs, farmers and aristocratic twonkers. That's not to say Harry and co couldn't get a hold of a gun, but it would be difficult to even find one.

But yeah, I love to nitpick stuff, and I do believe that turning that scrutinising eye to my own work has allowed me to iron out many possible plot issues. For example, in my world one of the key abilities of occultists is mind-reading. I had a scene in which this dude gets tortured and interrogated by an occultist for the location of an object. I had it so that he doesn't reveal the location. Buuuuuut, only later did I realise 'hold on, why don't they just read his mind to find out where it is?' This was a massive facepalm moment for me, but I got through it by explaining how, as the dude being interrogated was also an occultist, he could have some kind of magical mental block. Not too much of an issue, but I'm glad I spotted it.


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## Garren Jacobsen (May 15, 2015)

I'll concede the gun point only so far as getting the best murder stick in history. Why they never suggested getting one is beyond me.


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## Pythagoras (May 15, 2015)

I'm sure that wizards wouldn't have as difficult a time as your average joe in getting a gun. They must have their ways. If only they were smart enough to think to try, that is. I mean, Ron, I can understand. But Harry and Hermoine, having been raised in a muggle world? Sure, gun culture isn't the same there, but c'mon!


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## Steerpike (May 15, 2015)

Gryphos said:


> Well, remember, Harry Potter takes place in the UK. Here you can't just pop to the mall and buy a gat.



Accio charm?


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## Penpilot (May 15, 2015)

Brian Scott Allen said:


> I'll concede the gun point only so far as getting the best murder stick in history. Why they never suggested getting one is beyond me.



To me there are two answers to this. First, if the story is written well, it's because it's cooler not to use guns, and it brings an element of reality to the story that will ground it too much and potentially destroy the sense of wonder.

Magic wand fight = fun, sense of wonder, escapism.
Gun fight = gritty, grounded, real world consequences.

In good stories cool trumps practicality.

Another way to think about it is one gun mundane, two guns ultra hip and cool. But in practical terms using two guns doesn't work.

Second, if the story is written bad, it's because the writer was an idiot. 


I don't know if this is a pet peeve, but it's an interesting observation. In Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones is superfluous to the story. 

The story is basically, Nazis search for ark,  Indy tries to stop them, Nazis get ark, Nazis open ark and all die.

If you look at that chain of events you can remove Indy from it and pretty much everything still happens. The difference is maybe the Nazis die quicker.


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## Trick (May 15, 2015)

Gryphos said:


> The only people who really own guns are gangs, farmers and aristocratic twonkers.



That seems more dangerous than everyone having guns but I live in Idaho so I'm biased. 

I watched the second (new) Spiderman movie. I ruined it for my wife by tearing it apart from beginning to end. There were so many scientifically ridiculous things and plot holes that I just couldn't help myself. I even like the main actor and think the new ones are a huge improvement but man! Who knew Spiderman's web conducted electricity so well? It did the job of like 500 lbs of copper wire and that much power didn't fry Spiderman. I think they got him confused with Superman.


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## Garren Jacobsen (May 15, 2015)

I know a gun would be too gritty, but at least a mention or even some other backup like a magic flashbang or really something besides a single wand would have bugged me less. As for Indy I don't buy that he's superfluous. I mean in hindsight yes, but he wasn't sure they would open it. But that's just me.


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## Lunaairis (May 15, 2015)

I'm really bad with nitpicking. That "captain america" the winter soldier. I love that movie, but damn. The whole conflict could have been solved with the help of Tony stark, and you can't tell me he's "away" because in the movie when the scene comes up were all the hero's find out that hydra has its eyes on everyone using shield's computer there is a clearly marked "google" map which shows that Tony Stark is at the avengers building.

Besides that I love the movie.


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## buyjupiter (May 15, 2015)

Two things pop to mind:

The way that ScarJo's character in Iron Man II (?) is in the back of a car--changing into different clothes AND a new hairstyle--all within a short car ride. (I think the ride was supposed to be fivish-tenish minutes.)

Um. I didn't know that cars had electrical sockets for curling irons/flatirons. (I'll give them the changing into different clothes, because if you are extremely flexible that is a possibility.) But you can't change your hairstyle that quickly (unless you go to using a wig--which they did not do). I have hair that is somewhat similar to ScarJo's in that movie and it takes me about an hour to go from curls (natural) to straighter hair.

As far as lessons learned from that? As a woman who is very familiar with how much work beauty routines are? I would NEVER write something like that.

And the other thing:

I recently watched the trailer for the new series about hackers ("Mr Robot"). As I was watching the trailer two things popped out at me: first, why was the only POC the bad guy? And then later on in the clip I realized that the MC was also a POC, why did he read so white at first?

I watched the trailer again (because it had piqued my interest, not necessarily in the way the writers intended, mind) and discovered that "oh hey, the MC protag(?) read as white because they made sure that he was a) in the hackers uniform of hoodie and khakis and b) everything was brown brown brown. The actor got washed out by the surrounding scenery. (I'm happy with the casting choice, as he _nailed_ the performance, but I don't know anything about the character and the neutrality of the hacker "uniform" doesn't give me anything to go off of as far as intent at cultural representation--if there is any. If the goal was to portray a middle class POC who had "hacked" how to portray themselves as white, they nailed that goal. But I'm not entirely sure that was the goal. See? Nitpicky.).

And my first reaction about the "bad" guy was lessened by the realization that he wasn't being set up as "evil because he's a POC" (or evil because he's an immigrant, the character/actor was Indian)...and on rewatching it, I realized that the portrayal was actually pretty awesome because he wasn't your standard Indian immigrant story (he owned a coffee shop [instead of a gas station convenience mart or laundry service] and his "evil" act was tech related, but in a pretty godawful way, not just stealing people's identities or something, but I won't ruin that for y'all). Granted, I'm neither Indian nor an immigrant, so it may read differently to people who do relate (more) to either of those groups, but in the interest of getting Hollywood to present more diverse characters? This is a step in the right direction.

Neither of these things are what the creators intended for me to focus on. In the case of ScarJo, it seriously broke me out of the story as I sputtered "hey now! You can't actually do that in ten minutes and here's why..." and in the case of the latter it jarred me out of the narrative enough to make me wonder why I had the feelings I did and go back and rewatch it. (And I'm talking about it, too...so maybe this was all intentional? But I have the feeling that, given Hollywood, this is more accidental than intent.)


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## Legendary Sidekick (May 15, 2015)

I never nitpicked much when reading. But playing video games? Never mind Harry Potter—why doesn't Mike Haggar bring a gun? In fact, why doesn't Haggar call in the SWAT team? He's the mayor of Metro City for crying sakes.

When looking up a visual aid for those not familiar with Final Fight, I found out a cartoonist nitpicked about the in-game healing item.


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## Penpilot (May 16, 2015)

As someone with a computer science background, watching TV and some of the things they say and do involving computers makes me cringe like fingernails on a chalkboard. 

For those interested, here's a youtube play list of some computer fails. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkDD03yeLnU&index=2&list=PL3AF2DF96A3234C5D

In a world were more and more people are in the computer know, some of these things are stupid beyond stupid. 

The first clip in the list ends with someone saying something so non-nonsensical, it's like a mechanic saying they'll fix the engine in your car by inflating your tires.


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## wordwalker (May 16, 2015)

If you're interested in wizards with guns, that would be the Dresden Files (working title, SemiautoMAGIC).

For nobody shooting Captain America's feet... I suppose Cap is still using _some_ of the usual heroic "I'm moving faster than I look, these camera angles only seem like I gave the villains whole seconds to draw a bead on me and miss" and the shield only reduces the odds. But nobody ever gives that shield credit for one of its cleverest things, its graphic design. If you have just an instant to aim at a charging Avenger who's about to put you in the hospital, and you see this over your target,







it's not so easy to look down at the feet and not get your gaze pulled _into the pretty rings_...


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## Tom (May 16, 2015)

They were using Gatling guns, which you don't really aim--you just pick a line of fire and sweep from side to side. I still think it was just a major oversight in planning for the scene.

OH, hey--I just remembered another nitpick I've had. This one about Supernatural. The show's great, the fight scenes well-coordinated, but...the punches. They employ the standard Hollywood punch sound effect. It sounds ridiculous, and the MythBusters have proven that it's totally unrealistic. Whenever I watch Supernatural, I can't help but laugh during the fight scenes, even though I know I should be concerned about the outcome of the fight.


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## Reaver (May 16, 2015)

I guess they use those ridiculous punch sound effects in movies and tv shows because real life punches are dull sounding. Most real life sounds are incredibly boring. For example, have you seen the music videos without music? Hilarious.


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## Legendary Sidekick (May 16, 2015)

I'll nitpick a musical:

@#$%ing _Sound of Music!_ The second half has the same songs as the first half, but with Nazis. Total ripoff of Pink Floyd's _The Wall!_


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## SeverinR (May 28, 2015)

Tom Nimenai said:


> I nitpick _everything._ Especially stuff I like. _Especially_ grammar.
> 
> I think my most recent nitpick was when I was rewatching Captain America: Winter Soldier. Love that movie, but some of the fight scenes....just...*facepalm* MMA is cool, but peppering your action scenes with too much hand-to-hand creates confusion and chaos!
> 
> ...


In most film gun battles, that's where they shoot anyway.
Hero dashes in open area, bullets hit the dirt around his feet, even though the shooter is level with the hero. (This could be true if shooting down from above.) If your aiming to kill and miss, the bullets won't be seen, because they will fly past. Even our heroes do it. Their enemy runs out, bullets hit the dirt at their feet, then I guess  ricochet happens and the enemy is struck in the chest. 

another pet peeve, in gun battles, they each take turns sticking their head out and shooting, then pulling back as the other persons turn comes up. Just pop out, shoot, and wait. When they stick their head out shoot them.


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## Legendary Sidekick (May 28, 2015)

wordwalker said:


>


HENCHMAN #1: "Yo, check it out. I hit the blue."
HENCHMAN #2: "Aim for his head dummy."
HENCHMAN #1: "You're just jealous cause you only hit the ring. *snicker* The _white _ring."
HENCHMAN #2: "Oh yeah?" *BLAM-P'TWANG!* "Snicker at that, ass hat. Hit the white star! Dead center!"
HENCHMAN #1: "Dead center, my ass. You hit the bottom of the star. No different than hitting the blue."
HENCHMAN #2: "I shot that star in the wang. Think you can do one better?"
HENCHMAN #1: "Yes, I can." (aims)
CAPTAIN AMERICA: "No, you Ameri-CAN'T!" (one-punches both henchmen)
THOR: "Ameri-can't? Dude. The ****?"
CAPTAIN AMERICA: "You said you're not a god, so keep the judgments to yourself. Asgard-hole."


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## Garren Jacobsen (May 29, 2015)

Language!!!!


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## Tom (May 29, 2015)

Hey, that reminds me--another nitpick! It didn't make sense to me that Cap would get upset over swearing. He's a WWII soldier; he probably heard that sort of language every day, all day, and maybe even said some of it himself. Though he might be old-fashioned, he's still a young guy, not your conservative grandpa.


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## Legendary Sidekick (May 30, 2015)

Yes. This^ is exactly why I wrote Captain America as a potty mouth. Certainly not because I tend to write cheap jokes that imply I'm half my age.^a third​


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## Penpilot (May 31, 2015)

SeverinR said:


> another pet peeve, in gun battles, they each take turns sticking their head out and shooting, then pulling back as the other persons turn comes up. Just pop out, shoot, and wait. When they stick their head out shoot them.



You mean like this?


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## Reaver (Jun 2, 2015)

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Yes. This^ is exactly why I wrote Captain America as a potty mouth. Certainly not because I tend to write cheap jokes that imply I'm half my age.^a third​



I *NEVER* write anything with foul language. :wink:


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## Incanus (Jun 2, 2015)

Snowpiercer.  There was no way that I wasn't going to get into nitpick mode.  It was inescapable.  I've never seen a story with so many unexplained details, plot-holes, and things that just plain made no sense.  Too realistic to be surreal, too surreal to be realistic.  The premise doesn't work, the ending would have been impossible based on what we learn in the beginning.  I could probably spend 5000 words on all the problems, but why?


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