# The worst movie ever...



## Caged Maiden

After a recent conversation about bad movies, I recalled the worst movie I've ever seen.  Many years ago my friend and I both thought we'd seen the worst movie EVER, and low and behold, the titles weren't the same.  SO, we pitted our bad movies against each other... and HE won!

I challenge you all to name the worst movie you've ever seen and write a brief synopsis.  (No need to stop at one!)

I'll go first.

The worst movie I've ever seen is still burned into my mind from that day so long ago... NEVER under any circumstances watch "Doom Generation".  

I don't remember whether it has a plot (or anything even resembling one), but s far as I can remember, it is a string of sex scenes and psycopathic acts committed by three young people for no particular reason.  Yep, that about sums it up.  Awful, simply awful.  Well done, Josh!  You are still the winner.


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## Kelise

I don't think I've really ever watched really bad movies - I generally lose interest and turn them off if I'm getting bored.

Though the one I was most disappointed with, and almost watched out of the cinema from, was 'The Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow'. I don't even remember what was so bad about it, only that I went there on a date, and remember being so utterly bored out of my head that it was incredibly awkward. Looking the movie up now, it seems like something I'd enjoy. Maybe I should try it again.

That said, I went with a friend to see 10,000 BC. We expected it to be awful, but she adored Steven Strait and the asian place we wanted to have dinner at had a looong wait list to get into.
That movie was utterly hilarious. I seem to remember one scene being shot in heavy snow, and then it seemed the next minute they were in a tropical jungle, or in a long, wide stretching desert. Some girl had to be rescued. I don't remember anything else about it.

Other than that, I seem to enjoy other terrible movies. A group of us went to see that animated Star Wars thing that had young Anakan (still under Obi-Wan's teachings, yet set after the first or second movie, I think) where he takes on some girl to teach. Or something. Or maybe he wasn't still under Obi-Wan's teachings. Everyone else utterly hated it, but I was more-or-less entertained and didn't exactly hate it.


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## Penpilot

I'd write a synopsis for the worst movie I watched, but truthfully, it had NO story at all to condense. Really. It was 2hrs of special effects masturbation. And that movie was Transformers 2. Being a child of the 80's who grew up watching the cartoon, OMG, that movie sucked lemons. Nothing made sense. I wish I could say there were plot holes but you need a plot to say that. I could nerd-rage for pages on this, but I'll spare everyone and save my dignity.


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## Twilight Flyer

Penpilot said:


> I'd write a synopsis for the worst movie I watched, but truthfully, it had NO story at all to condense. Really. It was 2hrs of special effects masturbation. And that movie was Transformers 2. Being a child of the 80's who grew up watching the cartoon, OMG, that movie sucked lemons. Nothing made sense. I wish I could say there were plot holes but you need a plot to say that. I could nerd-rage for pages on this, but I'll spare everyone and save my dignity.


Yeah, Michael Bay has a serious ADHD problem.  

For myself, I love the sci fi channel and Saturday night B-movies are awesome.  I have seen so much cheese that I've gained 30 pounds. 

But I remember one movie in particular...don't remember the title, but there were three huge colliders that were brought on line all over the world to create unlimited energy.  Terrorists from an oil-bearing nation blew up one of the colliders, resulting in a singularity that started small and began to grow.  The movie ended when one scientist (who had been on the project for decades) said to save the world, they needed to turn the two remaining colliders up to full power and it would cancel out the singularity.  The other scientist, who has been on the project for a few months, advocated turning them off.  Since that was the guy that was by the switches, he turned them off.

And the world blew up.

NO survivors.

I remember laughing and saying "OK, so what was the point of that?"

Truly the dumbest plot ever.


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## Griffin

Usually if the movie is too bad, I just turn it off and move on to something else. The only movie I can recall right now is the 'DayBreakers.' The idea itself was interesting. Vampires ruled the world, but pretty much lived the same way we do now except at night. Whatever humans leftover were hung up like livestock and blood was taken out of them for the general population to feed on. And of course they run out of blood. Fast forward a little bit. The MC meets up with a gang of humans who have been hidden from the nasty batties. There is this one guy who used to be a vampire, but was cured. Turns out the cure for vampirism was a heavy dose of sunlight and some river water.

Long story short, the MC gets cured and the human gang attempt to put his blood (which will turn back vampires into humans) into the main blood supply. But everything goes to hell and a lot of people die.

It ends with the MC, the love interest, and the other cured guy driving off into the sunrise. The MC is like, "We now have the cure." or something. I guess I hated it because they accomplished NOTHING. All their human friends are died. They didn't succeed in curing anyone. It's like they're back at square negative 4.


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## Steerpike

Some of the movies mentioned above are pretty bad (I've seen them all except Doom Generation), but let's be honest, bad as they may be they don't nearly rise to the level of the worst films ever made.

I offer, by way of proof, Amazon Jail. Some guy captures women and keeps them captive in the Amazon jungle until he can sell them to rich people. The movie consists primarily of nude or semi-nude women in a bamboo cage in the Amazon or else fleeing from the men who put them in the bamboo cage in the Amazon.

"OK," some might say (not anyone here, I'm sure, but 'some' might) "there are worse things in the world than a film about partially or non-clad women running around the jungle." 

In a sane world, perhaps. But the world of Amazon Jail is far from sane. The movie is mind-numbingly boring, badly edited, has little story line (and what is has is preposterous), and not a single individual in the film can act even a little bit. Probably the stupidest, and all-around worst film around.


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## Philip Overby

Oh, the bad movies I've seen...

Oasis of the Zombies for one.  Mostly sucks because you can't see anything.  It's just people stumbling in the dark.  I guess they're zombies?  

And Manos:  Hands of Fate.  The movie was so bad I think the director killed himself afterwards.  Tragic, but the movie was so bad that they actually made the Mystery Science Theater: 3000 movie off of it.

For more mainstream stuff Transformers 3 was pretty awful.  I actually wanted to leave the theater.  Also the movie where Ryan Reynolds is trapped in a coffin.  The ending, I was like, "Ugh, really?"


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## gavintonks

The Phantom of the Opera I slept through it is was so boring, so cannot even write a synopsis, all the men in the movie house [5 of us slept] was like a ahaha momenta


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## Ireth

The worst movie I can remember watching is Planet Terror. It was so bad (gory and sexual) that we turned it off after about ten minutes. All I remember is lesbians French-kissing, some guy getting castrated, and a girl losing her leg in a car accident. And possibly something about zombies? I don't even know.


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## Ailith

Shyamalan's The Last Airbender. 

'Nuff said.


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## Benjamin Clayborne

_Wing Commander._

It's pretty rare for me to start shouting at the screen, but _Wing Commander_ was really that bad.


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## Ireth

Oooh, I forgot about _The Happening_. (Not surprising, since it sucked.)


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## Hans

The worst movie I have ever seen was some cheap fantasy movie so bad I did not even remember the name. The first halve I thought it was a parody and was pretty amused. But then it dawned to me that these guys were serious about it.
Low cost, five actors (Evil sorceress, lesbian pleasure slave, twisted advisor, barbarian hero and naive knave) and one of the most simple plots ever.
That movie really set my standard for badness. Plan nine from outer space (sometimes quoted as worst movie ever) was much better.


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## Sheilawisz

_Inception_ is for me the worst movie _ever!!_


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## gavintonks

yes airbender definitely up there, something rider on fire with nicholas cage, dreadful. walle I wanted to puke, mars needs mothers, dreadful thing with retired steven segal and a virus, Avatar will head my list, battlefield earth,     never watched it because it was so bad does that count? - catwoman


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## gavintonks

there was a movie with david bowie in a cheesy fantasy where the stallion unicorn was clearly a mare, they get some clysdales to ride over fake fire and it just goes downhill from there


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## Penpilot

Labyrinth ?


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## Butterfly

I started to watch Age of the Dragons, and managed to suffer about 15mins of it. Basically it's a fantasy retelling the tale of Moby Dick, the whale as a dragon, done very badly... at least the bit I saw.


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## Ireth

Gavin, I think the Nicolas Cage movie you mean is Ghost Rider.


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## Griffin

Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Fleshing Eating, Hellbound, Zombified Living Dead Part 2: In Shocking 2-D. (42 word count.)

Cannot remember what it was about. I think I was stuck on the title the whole time.


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## Jabrosky

Without a doubt my most hated movie of all time is _Precious_. It may have been critically very popular, but the extremely racist stereotypes (Precious's mother being the worst offender) sickened me so much that I couldn't bear to watch the whole thing. In fact, the very fact that so many Americans loved the film tells me how little our nation has progressed on racial issues.

I also hate _The Dark Knight_ with a passion. I don't care what his fanboys claim, Heath Ledger couldn't act to save his life.


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## Steerpike

I haven't seen Precious, but with Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry as executive producers, it seems hard to believe the claims of racism. I've read a bit about the debate of it, and I think this woman (who is black, if it matters) has the best view of things (taken from an NY Times article, where she responds to NY Times chief movie critic Armond White):



> But Latoya Peterson, the editor of Racialicious.com, a blog about the intersection of race and popular culture, said Mr. White was off base.
> 
> “His review buys into the narrative that there can only be one acceptable presentation of black life,” Ms. Peterson said. “He’s flattening the black experience, and in that way, he denies our humanity.”


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## Jabrosky

Steerpike said:


> I haven't seen Precious, but with Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry as executive producers, it seems hard to believe the claims of racism.



Sorry, but I've met way too many black people with racist opinions of their own people to buy that it isn't possible to be racist and disown yourself from a race you technically belong to yourself.


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## Steerpike

Jabrosky said:


> Sorry, but I've met way too many black people with racist opinions of their own people to buy that it isn't possible to be racist and disown yourself from a race you technically belong to yourself.



That might be true, but something tells me Winfrey isn't among those. And you have to admit, it smacks of a certain degree of racism, or at least quite condescending patronizing, for blacks to make a movie only to have a lot of white people come running over saying "oh, you can't make it that way!" It's like saying these stupid black people can't even represent their own race properly and need whitey to come in and save the day by telling them how to do it.

And I also agree with the comment from the person in the NY Times in that there is no one right way to present people of any race. People are so varied that no matter what the representation, you could probably find a real life example to support it. The mistake lies in promoting the idea that all members of a given race are somehow the same, no matter which direction you approach it from.


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## Jabrosky

Steerpike said:


> That might be true, but something tells me Winfrey isn't among those. And you have to admit, it smacks of a certain degree of racism, or at least quite condescending patronizing, for blacks to make a movie only to have a lot of white people come running over saying "oh, you can't make it that way!" It's like saying these stupid black people can't even represent their own race properly and need whitey to come in and save the day by telling them how to do it.



So you think it's OK for black people to profit off white people's prejudices by endorsing racist stereotypes? Simply because some white people have the decency to object to racism, regardless of who presents it, doesn't make them patronizing.

Suppose a black person were to say, "I hate n*ggers" (and yes, I have actually seen black people call other black people "n*ggers" multiple times). If a white person were to stand up to their racism, is said white person really being patronizing by speaking on behalf of other black people?



> And I also agree with the comment from the person in the NY Times in that there is no one right way to present people of any race. People are so varied that no matter what the representation, you could probably find a real life example to support it. The mistake lies in promoting the idea that all members of a given race are somehow the same, no matter which direction you approach it from.



Of course there are many different kinds of black people, but the problem is that _Precious_ utilized common stereotypes large numbers of white people already hold about African-Americans. It would be far better for black people to be represented in a way that doesn't exploit such stereotypes.


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## Caged Maiden

Okay.. So time for another movie... I'll have to pull out my big guns to defray the racism... Let's see...

By a clear mile, the most disappointing movie I've ever seen was one late netflix night.  I love werewolf movies, and in my search list, there were only three I hadn't seen, so I selected the one that didn't look like a cheap tacky horror movie, and ended up wanting to poke out my eyes an hour later.

Wolves of Kromer is NOT a werewolf movie.  It is some sort of moral tale about homosexuality, I guess, because all I can remember is two 20-ish guys like hiking through the woods with big bushy tails sewn to the backs of their trousers.  And then they make out a short time later.  Now I'm pretty forgiving of movies with strange plots as long as they entertain me, but this was anything but entertaining.  I wanted to watch people get ripped apart, and what I got was something indescribably bad... and sort of creepy.


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## Caged Maiden

Actually I have another: Doomsday.

So Scotland gets a disease that turns people into zombies or something, and they put up a wall that shoots lasers so no one can go in or out.  

Then, 25 years or something later, when it breaks out in London, a team of people go through the wall to find a cure, because there were survivors of the disease.

The worst part is, when they get there, the survivors are split into two tribes; the post-apocolyptic, ultra-violent punk kind of people; and some other people who have completely reverted to the Middle Ages, wielding swords and donning chain mail.  

REALLY?  Are you kidding me?  

So after doing a bunch of useless shit strung thinly together in some sort of questionable plotline, they escape in A BENTLEY!! (that must have been just loaded with fuel stabilizer, because it was still in it's shipping crate and there weren't any gas stations around).  

USELESS pretty much sums up this movie.


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## Stuart John Evison

Tarentino's "Inglourious Basterds". A talented psychopaths cinematic art or a sick film for sick minds.
Stuart of Ely.


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## Steerpike

I liked Inglorious Bastards


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## Caged Maiden

Got another one: Sexy Beast.

Could a plot get thinner?  I usually love heist films but this one left me wanting to punch someone in the head.  If I ever had need to torture someone, I'd just sit them in a dark room with this movie playing on a loop.


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## Jabrosky

Stuart John Evison said:


> Tarentino's "Inglourious Basterds". A talented psychopaths cinematic art or a sick film for sick minds.
> Stuart of Ely.


It was definitely unpleasantly sick in parts, but what really annoyed me about that movie was how sparsely scattered the action actually was. 90% of the movie was boring dialogue.


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## ArielFingolfin

Jurassic Park 3. Or The Day the Earth Stood Still. 

If only Mystery Science Theater was still around then maybe there would be a hope of redeeming them.


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## Steerpike

The Day the Earth Stood Still is a classic! (well, the classic version is; not the updated crap)

Klaatu berada nikto! Not only the command words for the robot, but also the demon-resurrection words from Evil Dead 2 (another classic!).


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## ArielFingolfin

Oh I was definitely referring to the updated crap


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## Steerpike

Jabrosky said:


> So you think it's OK for black people to profit off white people's prejudices by endorsing racist stereotypes? Simply because some white people have the decency to object to racism, regardless of who presents it, doesn't make them patronizing.



No, I think you see racism behind every tree and rock, whether it exists or not. And I think you yourself employ a form of racism, more subtle than a white sheet but nevertheless racist, where you set yourself up as superior to blacks such that you are able to tell them what is and is not an acceptable representation for them to make of their own race. I think the idea that you yourself hold racist viewpoints and feel that blacks need a person like you to 'save' them is underscored by your repeated association of evil and/or ugly races in fantasy literature with blacks, as evidenced by other threads here on the site. It is clear that the association occurs in your mind, whereas in the mind of most an orc is just an orc.


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## soulless

I would have to choose Twi-sh**e 2: Poo Moon, or whatever it's called . I watched the first and just thought it was slightly passable but nowhere near deserving of the hype.  Watch the second one, as I'd watched the first and prefer to continue watching a whole series through to the end.... I almost stopped half way but forced myself to watch the end and still couldn't figure out a plot, seriously did anything actually happen in this film? was the plot from the novel cut out completely? On this rare occasion I have not watched the next films in the series as I already want two hours of my life back and don't want to lose another 6.


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## Steerpike

soulless said:


> I would have to choose Twi-sh**e 2: Poo Moon, or whatever it's called .



I have not seen that one. I saw the first one in the theater a bunch of times because my daughter kept wanting to go. By the time the most recent ones have come out, my daughter lost interest in the movies and even if she hadn't she'd rather go with her friends now.


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## Feo Takahari

The least popular movie I've ever watched all the way through is _Soul Survivors_, but it's also the least predictable movie I've ever seen, so I couldn't help but find it oddly compelling. I'd actually recommend it if you're in the mood to either stop thinking, or start thinking really fast. ("So she's dreaming? No, she's awake. Was that really a ghost, or was it a hallucination? Is that guy dead? No, he's alive--okay, now he's _definitely_ dead.")

I forget the title of the worst movie I ever started to watch, but I remember the advertising--something about a criminal who steals someone's identity at random, then discovers he's impersonating an even more wanted criminal. I lasted a scene and a half.

The movie I least enjoyed watching was _Let the Right One In_, but that might have been the point of the movie. (I went into it having heard it described as a touching romance by people who I now think completely misunderstood Eli's character.)


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## Elder the Dwarf

Phil the Drill said:


> Oh, the bad movies I've seen...
> 
> 
> And Manos:  Hands of Fate.  The movie was so bad I think the director killed himself afterwards.  Tragic, but the movie was so bad that they actually made the Mystery Science Theater: 3000 movie off of it.



I was trying to think of where I heard of this movie when I finally remembered.  Two characters are arguing about the worst movie ever made, then one makes the other see Manos: Hands of Fate.  He immediately agrees haha


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## Chilari

There is one occasion I have walked out of the cinema: when I went to see the remake of Miami Vice. It was dull, the characters were uninteresting, the actors mumbled so badly I couldn't tell what they were syaing most of the time, and if there was action I have forgotten it.

I also came very close to walking out of Immortals last year, and stayed only so I could write an article about how it was Hollywood trading on Greek names after the success of Clash of the Titans, without actually using the Greek legend it's meant to be based on. Also the hats were laughably stupid*, the whole thing seems to be made to look more brown for the same of appearing to be gritty, and the whole thing was really just a bad story masquerading as Greek myth. Of the two hugely hyped things that came out on that day (11.11.11) that I was aware of, Skyrim was definitely the better. (If anyone is interested in reading my article about it, in which I have toned down my dislike to the movie to try to be fair and balanced, feel free to PM me and I'll send you a link)

The next closest I came to leaving was the film of the Hulk - the first one in the last decade with the comic-book-panel split screen, not the better one that came out a few years later. Can't remember the plot but I think it's fairly evident, I just remember how annoying the split screen gimmick was. I couldn't watch all panels at once and often couldn't tell which was meant to be the most important (sometimes it was the biggest, other times the smallest, sometimes left, other times right). It was stupid and I'm glad they made a new version pretty soon afterwards which more recently is seen as a precursor for the very awesome indeed Avengers film. LOVED that.

*seriously, just do a google image search for "immortals hats" and enjoy.


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## Endymion

Highlander 2. Unlike Batman and Robin which is so bad that it becomes funny, this movie is so bad, that a blind man who would could see again would wish to become blind again.


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## Justme

What I hate are those movies that are sequels to really good movies, but are thrown together with little forethought, just to monopolize on the popularity of the original. I remember trying and I do mean trying to set through the follow up of Starship Troopers. I don't know if it was put out as a movie you pay for but I can attest it shouldn't have gotten past the idea phase. 

Then you have the followup of The Highlander, which I thought was an excellent movie and Sean Connery's character both lived and died well. His return in The Quickening was excruciatingly bad. The rest of the movie wasn't much better. 

There have been some very well made sequels. one of which were those created after ALIEN.


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## edd

i remember going to a cinema to watch step mum , it was empty and the worst film in the world.


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## Justme

Well, If we are talking about any movie,* No country for old men* was the biggest waste of time and money I've ever came across.


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## Caged Maiden

I second that.  My husband liked it though.  Weird. 

Okay, one more Pie.  Except, it isn't spelled out, it's the symbol for pie, but my keyboard doesn't have the symbol.  Awful.  If there was a plot, it was either too sophisticated for my mundane mind or it was lost under a pile of ego self-pleasuring nonsense rubbish.


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## Steerpike

I liked No Country for Old Men as well. Good flick


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## Mindfire

Jabrosky said:


> I also hate The Dark Knight with a passion. I don't care what his fanboys claim, Heath Ledger couldn't act to save his life.



You, sir, have officially jumped the shark. Ledger's Joker is second only to Hamill.


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## CupofJoe

There are a lot of bad movies [really bad] but most of the time you know that before you start watching. I cite "Street Fighter" [1994] as a prime example. It is awful and doesn't make any sense but it is fun and is one of Gomez Addams' I mean Raul Julia's last roles.
The film in recent years that disappointed me most was "Mongol :The Rise of Genghis Khan" [2007].
It looks fabulous. It has some great action scene. There is great acting and real emotion in the script. You would think that everything would be great and then...
We skip from "I shall avenge you...!" to "now I lead the greatest army the world has ever seen" [I paraphrase]. The title of the film is "Mongol :The Rise of Genghis Khan" and that's the one thing you don't get!!!

[I really liked Heath Ledger in "10 things I hate about you" - I have a thing for cheesy John Hughes type films]


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## Reaver

The movie version of NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN was okay, but have you read the book? Have you read any of Cormac MacCarthy's books? How does he get away with no punctuation and no quotation marks when characters speak? They're like collections of run-on sentences.


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## Reaver

@Jabrosky: Agreed... Ledger was a terrible actor ( A Knight's Tale, anyone?) Apparently he couldn't follow directions on pill bottles to save his life either. BURN!


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## Ireth

Hey, A Knight's Tale is awesome. And to be fair to Ledger re: the Joker, no matter what you think of his acting skills, that man was _committed_ to the role. The only reason he OD'd was because he went so completely into the mind of the Joker that he scared himself shitless and couldn't sleep. Maybe he thought he'd built up enough tolerance to the sleeping pills, or maybe he was so sleep-deprived that he accidentally miscounted. We'll never know.


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## Reaver

I respect you Ireth, so therefore I respect your insight into Ledger's death.  As far as A Knight's Tale though...well like I said, I respect you.  But surely you'll concede that the scene with the crowd singing "We will rock you" was ridiculously stupid.


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## Ireth

You've got a good point there. Some movies can pull off anachronisms; others, not so much.


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## Reaver

I kept hoping that movie was going to end like Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  It was too hard to suspend disbelief.


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## Legendary Sidekick

*Pitch Black*

I think it's either the first Vin Diesel movie or the first I had seen of Vin Diesel, so I just figured it was a straight up sic-fi flick and my brother's friend–who had introduced me to the awesomeness of the Coen Brothers and normally had great taste in movies–recommended it, so I had high expectations.

The first thing that made me hate was the way they knew how the entire solar system functioned. Every 22 years, a huge Saturn-like planet would block out the suns. There were two and when one set the other would rise. So what bothered me was that the characters were on a strange planet and first thing they did was stumble on an accurate model of the solar system. They played with the model and said something like, "22 years? That's THIS year!" Okay… they just landed and watched the red sun set and the blue sun rise, so not even there for a day and they already figured out what year it is.

So when the whole world goes black, people get picked off by aliens that fly faster than cheetahs run. Zip! A head flies off. Then for some reason the rest of the party is spared so people can die later. Vin Diesel knows everything, so he knows they sense blood. After the wounded guy dies, how can they sense blood? Everyone looks at the woman like, "You women and your womanly womanness! Now we're all gonna die. Thanks a lot, witch with a bee." "No, not that time of the month" she says calmly enough that everyone believes her. Oh, ho! But it IS, just not for her. Vin Diesel reveals to the rest of the cast that the teenager with the shaved head is, in fact, not an effeminate, petite boy with pretty lips and a heart-shaped face. It's a girl, cleverly disguised by her non-girly hair do! GASP!

So… anyway, everyone dies except Vin Diesel and the girl who shaved her heart-shaped head. The woman who was supposed to show Vin Diesel that love is beautiful and forever dies so the MC can heroically avenge her. That's how cool movies use their female leads. When the fast-flying aliens fight Vin Diesel, however, they don't zip out of the darkness at eighty-eight miles per hour and decapitate him. That's how they kill wussies. When pitted against prey with muscles, they fly close and get into fighting stances so he can grab them one by one and snap their bones until the only thing that surrounds him is corpses. I think he has a glow stick or something so he can see what he's doing.

Yup. Sat through it once in the summer of '98, and still remember it well enough to say all that^.


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## Caged Maiden

Oh, if we're going on about disbelief... I have to mention Reign of Fire.  Dragons, powerful and mighty take over the world.  But in the end, it's the lowly crossbow in the hands of an unlikely hero that saves the world.  Really?  That's a shame I'll never get that time back.


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## Steerpike

*Pitch Black*, I think you mean, Legendary Sidekick. I like that movie 

They also made a nice video game with the main character, Riddick. Not sure if it was an X-Box only title, but it was fun.


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## Steerpike

Caged Maiden said:


> Oh, if we're going on about disbelief... I have to mention Reign of Fire.  Dragons, powerful and mighty take over the world.  But in the end, it's the lowly crossbow in the hands of an unlikely hero that saves the world.  Really?  That's a shame I'll never get that time back.



 I concur.

/10char


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## Reaver

Although it was full of plot holes...I liked PITCH BLACK too. I also liked Chronicles of Riddick and I'm psyched about the new Riddick movie even though  it appears that they're retelling the first one.

Hey, it worked for EVIL DEAD 2.


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## Legendary Sidekick

Well, maybe I have different tastes then most. When watching _The Man Who Wasn't There,_ I was one of two people that laughed very loudly when Gandolfini's character was trying to talk after his throat was sliced open. The other was one of my friends. Everyone else sat in silence. I don't know how so many people missed the joke.



Spoiler: what the joke is



The guy was trying to talk, but all that came out was blood and "khaaahh, kkkhhhaaaahhkkkk, kkhhhhaaaaa…"


Errrr……… get it?


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## Legendary Sidekick

Did I already mention _Batman and Robin?_ When I saw that in the theater, I remember a scene with Dr. Freeze on the phone. Arnold actually looked bored doing that scene.

And him talking tough as he shares a cell with Poison Ivy, like he's going to make prison life miserable for her but in a PG-13-friendly way. Okay… so after he torments her or threatens to, what? He sleeps, she kisses him, he dies?


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## Ireth

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Did I already mention _Batman and Robin?_ When I saw that in the theater, I remember a scene with Dr. Freeze on the phone. Arnold actually looked bored doing that scene.
> 
> And him talking tough as he shares a cell with Poison Ivy, like he's going to make prison life miserable for her but in a PG-13-friendly way. Okay… so after he torments her or threatens to, what? He sleeps, she kisses him, he dies?



Batman and Robin was indeed awful. Three words: BAT CREDIT CARD.


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## Legendary Sidekick

I forgot about the card.

I didn't forget _The Thin Red Line_ when Woody Harrelson blew his butt off with a hand grenade and cried, "Now I'm gonna die with no ass." I couldn't feel sad or amused. Just bored. And ripped off.


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## Caged Maiden

hah that line is awesome!  And I, too, liked Pitch Black.  Now, Meet Joe Black... there was a stinker...


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## Legendary Sidekick

The part where he gets hit by not one, but _two_ cars is awesome!

Warning: Death scene too funny to be taken seriously and counted as violence.


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## Legendary Sidekick

Steerpike said:


> *Pitch Black*, I think you mean, Legendary Sidekick. I like that movie
> 
> They also made a nice video game with the main character, Riddick. Not sure if it was an X-Box only title, but it was fun.


I'm a little freaked out that I ripped apart that movie without even remembering its name, and not twelve hours later I see this ad on DeviantArt:


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## TWErvin2

The absolute worst movie, ever:

Message from Space

No competition, no question. Take a look at the trailer (link above) and that's the 'positive' highlights of the film...


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## Steerpike

Legendary Sidekick said:


> I'm a little freaked out that I ripped apart that movie without even remembering its name, and not twelve hours later I see this ad on DeviantArt:



Yeah, I'm sure I'm going to go see that one.


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## SeverinR

Legendary Sidekick said:


> The part where he gets hit by not one, but _two_ cars is awesome!
> 
> Warning: Death scene too funny to be taken seriously and counted as violence.



As God(Morgan Freeman) said "You can't sit down in the middle of a freeway..." You can't stand in a busy street and not get hit.

The thing about the worst movie ever...When you think they finally hit rock bottom, they penetrate another core and go deeper.


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## Scribble

I can think of so many bad movies, some of them involving nipples on super-hero suits, or a certain red-haired swordswoman in misogynistic plots. There are movies that are bad because they lack a good writer, director, and actors. Sometimes, I can forgive all these and just enjoy what _is _there.

What I think makes a really bad movie is one that had everything going for it, but somehow it still failed, for me, at least. This being very subjective, as a science geek, when I watch a "science fiction" movie, I expect certain things.

The dumbness of *Prometheus *was so profound I couldn't begin to point out all the glaring holes. I was so excited about it, but they failed to make a movie I could enjoy. A *first year* science student could have helped them with the story. They would have done it for free... biologists taking their helmets off on a planet that has life... um microbes?... yeah, just breathe em in, what could go wrong? If you know nothing about science or medicine, then this might be a good little story.

Whatevs. I was so peeved I couldn't be bothered to write a review. I did however write one of *After Earth*.

1/5 stars



> After Earth, starring Jaden and Will Smith is a visually attractive science fantasy film with plenty of action. Unfortunately, the action was not enough to carry what was a highly contrived story that left me asking questions, and the questions had no good answers.
> 
> Will Smith's character Cypher Raige is a hard-ass general in some futuristic Earth colony where they fight blind alien predator creatures who smell fear by sniffing human pheromones. The upshot is that if you have no fear, you are invisible to them. That's kind of cool, a bit of a stretch, but I'll buy it.
> 
> They train to be these super hard-assed rangers who have no fear. They fight using some kind of of futuristic weapon that generates any number of super-sharp carbon blades. Maybe it's made with carbon nanotubes? I hear they can do anything. What about something that shoots, like a laser? Nevermind.
> 
> Cypher Raige (what a cool name...) has been busy kicking alien ass and he comes home to find his son, training really hard to impress him, but full of young man rage and resentment towards his dad for being absent. After a scene where he gives his wife a marble...? she chides him, resulting in his decision to bring his son on his next mission. He claims he intends to retire after this one so he can spend more time with his family. This guy is so awesome, if only he can connect with his son. This might be their chance. I felt kind of happy for the son at that point. It really is a nice relationship their have, if only it were more believable.
> 
> The problems begin early on. There are some massively obvious setups for future emotional tugs that they lose all their their emotional charge.
> 
> Through a set unfortunate space travel circumstances they accidentally get stuck in an asteroid field, bust up the ship, that happens to have one of the human hunter monsters on board (for training purposes), and they end up on old Earth that was evacuated. They crash land on Earth.
> 
> Now, for some unexplained reason, the Earth animals have evolved to hunt humans, who haven't been there for a really long time because the air is now hard to breathe...? Okay. The only two survivors are General Cypher, his son, and apparently the human killing, fear smelling monster. I started to smell something at this point in the movie, and it wasn't fear.
> 
> So, Cypher's leg is broken, and the beacon to call for help is busted, but there's another in the tail of the ship, which is 4 days travel there and back, and they have exactly 4 days of "Earth atmosphere breathing capsules they drink"... It's so contrived it starts to hurt your brain.
> 
> So, young Kitai Raige sets out, and luckily they have some video surveillance bots, that nobody ever sees, his dad at the crashed head of the spaceship can see what his son is doing. Why didn't they have any that could go and get the beacon? Those would be very handy robots to have. Anyways...
> 
> It just goes from bad to worse. Young Kitai escapes killer monkeys and then a giant eagle. He tries to save the eagle's 12 or so hatchlings from tree climbing super lions, and that's when he makes a friend.
> 
> Now for some unexplained reason, the Earth goes super freezing every night at sundown. Yet, the plants survive and all the animals too. We must assume they all burrow. Young Kitai gets stuck outside and almost freezes, but luckily his bird friend comes and rescues him, makes a nest and puts the near-frozen Kitai inside and then sacrifices itself to keep him warm, so he can get to the tail of the spaceship. Kitai gives the dead giant eagle a pat to thank it for saving him.
> 
> I have to stop from the dumbness of this movie to ask a few little questions that cropped up.
> 
> How long have people been away from earth? They said it was like 1000 years. Not nearly enough time for animals to evolve like this.
> What could cause the Earth to get so cold at night? It looks like they are in the rain forest, and okay, the leaves curl up a bit... but what causes it? Is the Earth in a strange wobble now? Is the night so long that it gets that cold? But no, it seems like regular time. Maybe something to do with the air change - that humans can't breathe well but the animals can...maybe humans borked something up? But wouldn't other mammals die? Or maybe humans were bio-engineered to survive on the new planet which made breathing on the old planet difficult? I dunno.
> How did all the species of Earth "evolve to kill humans"? Did the enemy aliens do that? If humans have been away for so long, how did all the animals remember that they were evolved to hunt humans? And did anyone writing this movie understand anything about evolution?
> 
> It just goes on. I won't ruin the end, but it doesn't matter because you can always see it coming.
> 
> The action was good. It was tense.
> 
> The visuals were good. Too good. At one point Kitai enters a cave, and there are lovely lava rivers flowing here, and a forest of giant crystals there. Very lovely. The gadgets were okay.
> 
> The beacon, what they were looking for, is more than a radio beacon. It shoots a bolt of light like Tron talking to the user, out into space, like a light from God himself. Quite a nice design for an emergency beacon. If you were ever trapped on a planet, you'd want a spectacular light show. Where the energy comes from, it isn't clear.
> 
> Emotionally two-dimensional. Nice gadgets, the weapon thingy? Did I already mention that?
> 
> It was bad. Very, very bad. 1 star out of 5.



When Gandalf was saved by the eagle, I cheered. When Jaden was saved by the eagle, I laughed. You have to frame the story with it's own logic. You can't just throw magic in there while pretending it's science, or you lose me.


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## Legendary Sidekick

Legendary Sidekick said:


> The part where he gets hit by not one, but _two_ cars is awesome!
> 
> Warning: Death scene too funny to be taken seriously and counted as violence.


Cause of death: Joe Black continues to slide for three blocks then falls down an open manhole.


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## Reaver

UGH...After Earth was godawful. Prometheus was so terrible it was funny.  I especially like the end where this giant ship is toppling over and the chick is running away IN A STRAIGHT LINE.  That scene was hilarious!  

But even worse was the ending bridge scene of The Fast and the Furious 6 (that's no typo friends, this franchise has SIX steaming piles of shit in its corral and number 7 is currently passing through some Hollywood exec's colon as I type). 

I won't describe it here...a scene this horribly funny has to be experienced


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## Steerpike

Running in a straight line was is an unfortunate device from every bad horror movie. Makes no sense. One of the other stupid things about that movie was that the guy who was supposed to be a biologist had no protocol whatsoever for dealing with unknown alien life forms.


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## T.Allen.Smith

Reaver said:


> ...this franchise has SIX steaming piles of shit in its corral and number 7 is currently passing through some Hollywood exec's colon as I type).



That gave me a good chuckle. It's a sad state of affairs that there's a market for these.


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## SeverinR

Legendary Sidekick said:


> Cause of death: Joe Black continues to slide for three blocks then falls down an open manhole.


Definately and literally, overkill.


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## Scribble

Steerpike said:


> Running in a straight line was is an unfortunate device from every bad horror movie. Makes no sense. One of the other stupid things about that movie was that the guy who was supposed to be a biologist had no protocol whatsoever for dealing with unknown alien life forms.



I don't get it because Scott is not a dumb guy, he's rolling the Prophets of Science Fiction show, which is awesome, and he's got Blade Runner under his belt... I dunno what happened there. Disaster. 

For a good laugh at Prometheus, check out this very spoilerific spoof trailer:



Spoiler: Spoilers!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBaKqOMGPWc


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## Shockley

I would say that some obscure Bulgarian snuff film probably ranks up there, but I've never seen that.

 Out of the movies I have physically seen, Cannibal Holocaust, and only because I was pre-aware of the treatment of animals on the set.


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## Sparkie

How is it that _The Beast of Yucca Flats_ hasn't been brought up yet?

Beast of Yucca Flats - YouTube

MST3K Beast Of Yucca Flats.avi - YouTube


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## Bruce McKnight

I'll assume you all know better than to watch anything with Julia Roberts and Meg Ryan, but one movie that I especially disenjoyed that other people seemed to like was Jerry Maguire. The guy had a job and woman then got a new job and a new woman. How did that take two and a half hours of my life?


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## Nihal

I usually stay away from bad movies and couldn't recall something bad enough to be mentioned there.

Today some channel was reprising Van Helsing. It might not be the worst movie, but I can't understand how someone would pour so much money into a movie (good effects for its time, good environment and some decent character designs, stars casting, etc) and pick such a terribly written story.


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## Addison

Bad movies....bad movies.....I'm movie-lover as much as a book-lover so it's kind of hard. I usually find something enjoyable about every movie I see, even if they're horrors. 

But in the sense of movie-adaptions of books, the worst would be Eragon. No disrespect to Chris Paolini, he's a great author but no one's work deserves to be butchered like that. There were only three scenes in that movie I enjoyed; baby Saphira, Saphira dissing Brom as he examines her, and of course she and Eragon flying.   
   I know that when adapting a written work to a film you have to really look to find the best way to convey the entire story to the screen and there's a time limit for a film. But Lord of the Rings is almost a hundred pages shorter than Eragon but the movie not only did it justice but did so in a respectable time. 

Bad movie-movies, that's something else...I try not to remember those. And apparently I succeed. I'll get back to this thread if I come across one.


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## Addison

Okay, worst movie I've ever seen is Scary Movie. All of them. They're so ridiculous!


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## SeverinR

Worst movie ever, the competition is so stiff.
So many work to attain the goal for a mere moments in time.


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## Guy

I think it was around 1980 or so there was a Flash Gordon movie. Even as a 12 year old I thought it was ridiculous. The only other thing I can think of is an all-way tie between every SciFi original movie ever produced.


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## Kn'Trac

> The only other thing I can think of is an all-way tie between every SciFi original movie ever produced.



I second the motion.
They stink.


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## Devor

I don't know how people can forget this one.


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## Steerpike

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is great! 


I like when the big black guy who is their master of disguise infiltrates the tomato camp dressed as a tomato, but is found out when he asks for ketchup for his food.

I wish they would have made the sequel teased at the end: The Wrath of the Grapes


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## Devor

Steerpike said:


> Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is great!



It does have a certain charm to it.  But if you listed all of the elements you would expect of a bad movie, they're all there.  If you just heard the idea behind the movie, I think most people would say it's a bad idea.  Insomuch as the movie works, I would still put it in the it's-so-bad-it's-funny column.

Which truthfully is kind of why I mentioned it - almost certainly the worst movie ever made, whatever it is, tried to be so normal it was boring, and probably the acting was flat, and nobody saw it.  That kind of movie isn't even worth talking about.


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## Steerpike

Devor said:


> It does have a certain charm to it.  But if you listed all of the elements you would expect of a bad movie, they're all there.  If you just heard the idea behind the movie, I think most people would say it's a bad idea.  Insomuch as the movie works, I would still put it in the it's-so-bad-it's-funny column.



Yes, exactly. And the movie was a spoof, so it was meant to be so bad it was funny. I found myself chuckling throughout it. I never saw any of the actual sequels (they never made Wrath of the Grapes, but there are apparently other Tomato movies), but I suspect those won't quite pull off what the original did. It seems like sequels to this kind of cult hit never quite stand up to the original.


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## teacup

Never seen the movie, but this is so hilariously bad I had to post.


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## Addison

Another bad movie to add to the roster. Guyver. I salute the puppetry of the nineties but that was the only good thing in that entire movie. For all you Star Wars fans do NOT watch. It was a low point in Mark Hamill's career.


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## Dragev

I disagree with anyone saying _Inglorious Basterds_ or _Dark Knight_ were bad movies; bad for me means bad plot, bad acting, terrible effects (although Star Wars Episode II is very high on my list) etc.

I was expecting more exploitations films to be listed here; like the one where a KFC is constructed on the top of a ative-american cemetery and their ghosts ally themselves to the ghosts of the _chicken_ to avenge themselves on the people that eat at the KFC.
I am not joking.


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## Stare At Shadows

_The Room_. Do I really need to say anything more? 
I do? Go see it then, you're in for a treat. 
I've seldom laughed so hard at anything. In fact it's probably unfair to label it the worst movie ever made as I'm sure there was some kind of perverse genius at work on the script. That still doesn't explain the acting, though. It's certainly an experience, if not necessarily a good one.


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