# Do you start your story with a bang?



## MichaelSullivan (Oct 25, 2011)

I was commenting on another post about sample size and it made me think about the fact that in today's environment most people will "sample" before they buy (either via Search Inside the Book, reading a few pages in the bookstore, or an ebook sample).

For this reason it is important to really hook your reader. I think that many new fantasy writers start off by setting a stage when (IMHO) they should start off with some action.  Here are two examples:



> In the year of the Exnox, before the reign of the One-Handed King, when Asifar was still a province of Tripidia before the first of the Haglin Wars that decided the fate of all the inhabitants of Estifar, a boy was born to the tribe of Grangers and his name was Firth. It was in the wet season the Grangers called Kur that the boy was born into the house of Janicy, who were known for their hunting skills. All Grangers were known for hunting as well as archery as their ancestors came down from the Ithinal Mountains to…



Verses



> The axe came down at his head and Firth dove to the side to avoid being cleaved in half. Trevor was supposed to train him, not kill him, but before Firth had gained his feet, his master was swinging again.



Which would get you to read more?


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## Guy (Oct 25, 2011)

I always start my stories in the middle of some action.


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## mythique890 (Oct 25, 2011)

I'm a fan of starting with a scene rather than exposition, but I think you have to be careful.  There's a quote by an author about walking in to a movie in the middle of a car chase, but you don't care if one car is all of the sudden engulfed in flames, because you don't know who is in it, and if they're good or bad.  More importantly, you don't know if you even like or relate to that character.  Anyways, that's not the quote, but it's the main idea.  I think action is _definitely_ better, but make sure you go at it in a way that isn't over the top and, most importantly, furthers your story.

I thought your second opening was great, because while it didn't paint the grand picture that the first one did, it immediately gave a sense of character for both Firth and his trainer.  It hooked me in two sentences when your other opening had me skimming by the end.

Of course, I think in the fantasy genre especially, you are going to find readers who prefer the grand picture.  I'm not one of them.


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## CicadaGrrl (Oct 25, 2011)

I have an approximate 5-10 page rule.  I usually start with fast paced conversation that gives at least some grasp of the characters and I feel immediately engages readers with character, but then it slams into action--if not sheer violence, at least obvious magic or the such.  Usually after the big bang, it drops back to more character and the characters trying to figure out what the hell just happened.  There's a lull with only some danger while I set up what I otherwise would have set up without the big bang.  For the record, I'm totally against exposition.  If you need to get down some basics on world etc. put it a) in character relevant discussion and action so that it still feels like you are building character and tension--the info should slip in organically and almost unnoticed.  I believe this most strongly with foreign world building.  Give the readers a little credit.  If you can just mention in passing the things that will build this world without ever stopping to discuss it, you should be able to make your world unfold and keep the reader.  Like one of the first lines in _Incarnate_ , slated to publish in the spring, is something like, "the only sound was the subdued trammel of corgeb slaves running errands for their ailif masters."  I have just established a) this is a slave culture b) corgeb are slaves c) ailifs are masters.  The only extra cues I gave that will drop out after this point are the words "slave" and "master."  After this point, with a few more cues, it is a given that corgeb are slaves and ailifs are masters, so I don't have to keep pairing those words.  All of this is set in the senses of the main character pov of the afternoon around her.  I even introduced two foreign words, which I drop like NYC party girl drops names.


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## Benjamin Clayborne (Oct 25, 2011)

My WIP starts with... well, not violent action, but conversational action (an argument in the royal council between two dukes, about how to react to foreign aggressors). Starting amidst action doesn't have to mean a fight, a chase, or someone in dire peril. It just has to mean something that makes you think, _What's going to happen next?_

That's one thing Robert Jordan did really well in the Wheel of Time. The prologues of all the books are about something happening to some character, and then the first chapter starts with the whole wind-flowing-over-the-land thing, before it ends up flowing past the POV character for that chapter, who we stick with. It's a great form of introducing us to the setting, without tedious pages of historical context.


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## Devor (Oct 25, 2011)

MichaelSullivan said:


> Which would get you to read more?



To be quite honest I'm not sure I'd prefer either opening sentence.  I may be in the minority, but I want, in the opening sentence or two, to get a feel for the writer and the voice that's going to be in my head for the weeks I'm reading their story.  Both the lengthy description and the sudden mid-swing sentences seem clunky to me in that regard.

If we're going to find an aphorism - "open with setting" or "open with action" or "open with character" - I would say to open with mood.  Pick a single characteristic you want to get across and find a telling way to express it.  I'll point to the seven Harry Potter novels as an example of opening sentences that are perfectly normal, thank you very much.

That said, I do think the opening chapter, taken as a whole, should have more action and character than world-setting.  But you can take a page or two to get there.


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## Thursday (Oct 25, 2011)

I think it works best if there's an intro or preface chapter that has the action and then the actual book can start with background. That way both needs are met but the reader is pulled in immediately.


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## TWErvin2 (Oct 25, 2011)

Something_ should _be happening pretty early in the story. Starting with something already going on, rather than try to establish character or especially setting, generally works best. What often doesn't work/fails miserably is: Showing a normal day in the life before things go wrong.

The best way to get the necessary background and backstory is through context and/or providing it when it's needed.

Of course one can find exceptions to what I've suggested, but maybe that's why they're exceptions. But that does prove that anything _can_ work, especially if done extremely well.


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## Chilari (Oct 25, 2011)

I gotta say, the first opening paragraph there bored me. If I picked up a book in a bookshop and read that on the first page, I wouldn't make it to the second sentence. And there's more to it that simply that it's exposition. That is the main problem, but also, it's written in a dry style, and contains terms that mean nothing to me. I don't know what Exnox means or who the One-Handed King was or whether the Grangers are a family, kin group, cultural group, social class, or what. It's irrelevant.

Yet at the same time, I'm not so sure that starting in the middle of action is the way to go. There should be activity - as in, someone is doing something - but action as defined by battles, chases, explosions, etc is not what I like to see. As Mythique said, starting in the middle of action leaves the reader wondering why they should care about the characters. My personal preference is to start in a moment of relative peace: right before or right after some form of action. The battle is over, or the character is waiting for it to begin. This gives you a chance to introduce the character and show how they act in tense moments - are they planning their next move, waiting patiently for the time to act, afraid of what they might soon face? It gives me a chance to get inside their head and establish their voice, while still having something going on, even if it isn't exactly a big bang.

Then, once the first challenge has been faced and overcome (or fled from, or hidden from, or the danger has passed, etc), I start to feed in other elements of the story and get to the core conflict.


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## MichaelSullivan (Oct 26, 2011)

Chilari said:


> I gotta say, the first opening paragraph there bored me. If I picked up a book in a bookshop and read that on the first page, I wouldn't make it to the second sentence. And there's more to it that simply that it's exposition. That is the main problem, but also, it's written in a dry style, and contains terms that mean nothing to me. I don't know what Exnox means or who the One-Handed King was or whether the Grangers are a family, kin group, cultural group, social class, or what. It's irrelevant.



It should bore you - I was using it to illustrate a point - it wasn't meant to be indictive of my writing style or what I suggest people do - I guess I wasn't clear enough in my post.


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## Lord Darkstorm (Oct 26, 2011)

A hook is something that grabs the readers attention and gets them interested in what might come.  To start in the middle of a fight, or battle, doesn't really do this.  If you are flipping channels and come across a battle scene, you don't know who is who and honestly have no preference to either side, does it matter if someone is in a life or death situation...no.  I have no attachment to a character in the first sentence, paragraph, or usually even the first few pages.  Hooking a reader requires a reason for them to put some trust in you that you will provide an interesting story.  If you start with the bang, I honestly wouldn't be upset if the main character gets killed in the bang.  I don't know them, and if they die, I won't know them, and you have saved me hours of reading to find out there isn't much there.

Maybe some examples will work:
Robert Asprin - Another Fine Myth (Book one of the series):
*ONE of the few redeeming facets of instructors, I thought, is that occasionally they can be fooled. It was true when my mother taught me to read, it was true when my father tried to teach me to be a farmer, and it's true now when I'm learning magik.*

The first line sets up the character, and what to expect.  The character (Skeeve) is making it clear he is trying to fool his instructor.  Then goes on to justify why he thinks he can get away with it.  

No battle, no bang, just a situation that is meant to draw you into the story.

Orson Scott Card - Enders Game
*"I've watched through his eyes, I've listened through his ears, and tell you he's
the one. Or at least as close as we're going to get."*

He does use a bit of a trick with this book with the faceless, nameless dialog at the beginning and at other key points.  Still, no bang, just a very strong hint that someone has decided someone is 'the one'.

Charles de Lint - Moonheart 
*Sara Kendell once read somewhere that the tale of the world is like a tree. The tale, she understood, did not so much mean the niggling occurrences of daily life. Rather it encompassed the grand stories that caused some change in the world and were remembered in ensuing years as, if not histories, at least folktales and myths.*

No bang, not fight scene, but the first line does draw interest, the tale of the world?  Like a tree?  They are questions that I expect will be answered in the story.  A question, not a bang.  

J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter book 1
*Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense.*

In this one, many people are familiar with, we have a statement of what Mr and Mrs Dursley are, and what they are against, of which she plans on breaking shortly, and this all but tells us that it is about to change.

JRR Tolkien - The Hobbit
*In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.*

And here is Tolkien, introducing us to a hobbit, who lives in a hole, but a very comfortable one.

Roger Zelazny - Nine Princes in Amber
*It was starting to end, after what seemed most of eternity to me.*
Something is ending, which means something else is beginning.  

Jennifer Roberson - Sword Dancer
*In my line of work, I've seen all kinds of women. Some beautiful. Some ugly. Some just plain in between. And--being neither senile nor a man with aspirations to sainthood--whenever the opportunity presented itself (with or without my encouragement), I bedded the beautiful ones (although sometimes they bedded me), passed on the ugly ones altogether (not being a greedy man), but allowed myself discourse with the in-betweeners on a fairly regular basis, not being one to look the other way when such things as discourse and other entertainments are freely offered. So the in-betweeners made out all right, too.*
This one sets up the main character, giving a insight on what he thinks, and a set up for what is about to happen.  Needless to say it involves a woman.

Does a story need to start with a bang?  NO!  Can it, yes, but too often that bang tricks the writer into thinking it will be captivating to be in that life or death situation with the character they know and love, since it's their creation, but forget that the reader doesn't know the character, or care if they die.  

A hook is something that will hook the reader, so it has to provide something of interest, some type of promise of what is to come, or what to expect.  If you start in the middle of an action scene, what are you promising?


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## Amanita (Oct 26, 2011)

A very interesting topic.
I have great trouble with my own beginnings, therefore this is very helpful to me. 
In my own story, I've discovered, that the ordinary day in the main characters life really isn't the way to go. (After rewriting it for the third time or so, I got bored with it myself.) 
Therefore I can't give advice on things I would do, but I can talk about the stuff I like to read. 

If the story is about war or a certain aspect of war, beginning with a scene that highlights this aspect can be a good way of getting me into the story. In this case, I don't need to know about the characters beforehand because it's the situation and not the characters that really matters more. There's enough time to get to know them later. The same goes for any other kind of high-action story, such as one that tells the story of an assasin or dragon hunter or anything of that sort.
Stories that are more character-driven, where the plot mainly revolves around the main character's situation and the changes he or she is about to face are a different matter. In such as story, I don't think that starting with strong action (that might be quite rare in such a story) is the way to go. If done well, beginning with the "ordinary day in the character's life" can actually work in this case, but the "ordinary day mixed with unusual things happening" is better. 

This is probably different for every reader, but I'm mainly interested in the themes and ideas within a story, not in the answer to the question if the main character survives or not. Therefore a book that is supposed to grip me needs to hint at themes I'm interested in at the beginning. If the book is for example about "princess X doesn't want to wear a dress but fight with a sword", it doesn't matter if there's action at the beginning or not, I'm not going to buy the book. (As long as there's no very good reason to do so despite of it.)
As demonstrated in the first example in this thread, a big no go is the use of too many unfamiliar names and terms in the first paragraphs. This is something that has kept me away from some works here in the Showcase as well. I know the problem that the everything is perfectly clear to the writer (and have trouble with this myself) but when reading something from someone else's world, this kind of thing is really difficult.


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## ScipioSmith (Oct 26, 2011)

As for 'day in the life' beginnings, surely it depends on what sort of life the main character has. A day in the life of an assassin might be a quite entertaining way to begin.


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## Lord Darkstorm (Oct 26, 2011)

I think what many people tend to miss is the term hook.  I guess if you are fishing for whales, or large sharks, then hooking would be something drastic and strong.  For most fish, hooking is a slight tug to 'hook' the fish, not tear the hook through it's mouth and leave you with nothing and one very annoyed, not to mention injured, fish.  Setting the hook is only the beginning.  After you hook the fish it can move a bit before you start reeling it in.  So if we hook the reader, then bring them into the story at a pace that flows naturally, providing more and more as they are brought completely into your story.  Trying to pull a fish out of the water and into your hands in one massive jerk doesn't really work.  Same goes for readers, only you take the damage from it, not them.


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## mythique890 (Oct 27, 2011)

Hm.  I think that's a really good analogy, LD.  I never thought of writing a story that way, and I know just enough about fishing to get what you mean.  I will think about this a lot in next few days.


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## MichaelSullivan (Oct 28, 2011)

I guess I wasn't making myself clear enough. I was citing two very different examples (neither of which I would suggest) but just showing some polar opposites to illustrate a point. My point was...that you have a very short period of time to get someone's attention and if you spend those first few pages on too much background you're likely to lose people.


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## Kevin O. McLaughlin (Oct 28, 2011)

MichaelSullivan said:


> I guess I wasn't making myself clear enough. I was citing two very different examples (neither of which I would suggest) but just showing some polar opposites to illustrate a point. My point was...that you have a very short period of time to get someone's attention and if you spend those first few pages on too much background you're likely to lose people.



I agree. I think most folks posting in this thread are agreeing. I think the suggestion is that there's more than one way to get someone's attention in those first few pages. It doesn't have to be an *action* "bang" - but those first few pages do have to hook the reader into wanting to read more.

That means that if you're targeting an action oriented audience, an action scene in the first pages is ideal. Other audiences might be hooked better by other types of scenes. But whatever sort of scene you use, it should hook the reader's interest - because they're only going to give you a few pages worth of their time before they go check out some other book instead.


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## Benjamin Clayborne (Oct 28, 2011)

Kevin O. McLaughlin said:


> That means that if you're targeting an action oriented audience, an action scene in the first pages is ideal. Other audiences might be hooked better by other types of scenes. But whatever sort of scene you use, it should hook the reader's interest - because they're only going to give you a few pages worth of their time before they go check out some other book instead.



Which reader's interest should I try to hook? I don't know if there's a definitive answer. For my part, I think I'd just prefer to write something that would hook _my_ interest. My novel starts off with a scene of political discussion among dukes, having an argument about whether to attack a neighboring nation. There's conflict and tension, which hopefully is enough.


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## Lord Darkstorm (Oct 28, 2011)

And where does the story lead?  What is to come?  And can some hint at that future be worked into the early part of that discussion?  The discussion by itself might be interesting, but if it also implies of a larger problem that is coming, then you have a reason to read past whatever the initial interest is.

I would expect that you have some form of target audience in mind, and those are the people you want to convince your story is worth reading.


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## Benjamin Clayborne (Oct 28, 2011)

Lord Darkstorm said:


> And where does the story lead?  What is to come?  And can some hint at that future be worked into the early part of that discussion?  The discussion by itself might be interesting, but if it also implies of a larger problem that is coming, then you have a reason to read past whatever the initial interest is.



This is the prologue, so it's really more setting the stage, although it does end with a death and with the uncertainty of impending warfare, as well as establishing one of the core character conflicts in the story. Some of the characters in the prologue figure in the plot later, but the four main characters are not introduced until chapters 1 and 2.



> I would expect that you have some form of target audience in mind, and those are the people you want to convince your story is worth reading.



I haven't actually given my "target audience" much thought. Mainly, it's people like me.


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## Wordweaver (Oct 28, 2011)

I feel like a short prologue could establish the setting before the actual story even begins...maybe a bit of back story to set the mood of the location. If I were sampling a book in a store, I would probably skip the prologue and jump to the page labeled "chapter 1," which hopefully contains some gripping activity. To agree with Chilari, I say _activity_, not _action_ because I don't think the scene HAS to involve axes being swung into faces in order to be attention-grabbing. As long as the story begins in the middle of an interesting enough situation that has already started, I'm in.

My current favorite is the Forgotten Realms series, which tends to do the opposite: Prologue full of immediate action, ending in a dramatic introduction of the main POV character as he walks away from a bloody scene in slow motion while smoke wafts behind him. Then the first few lines of chapter 1 sets the scene. Also effective, it seems, since I keep reading them.


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## Ghost (Oct 29, 2011)

I don't know much about hooks. Interesting beginnings leave me with questions about the story, setting, and/or characters. In the first example, my only question is "When will this paragraph be over??" In the other, I wonder if my book is missing the first page. If they were my only choices, I'd skip ahead a few pages on the second option to see if it gets better.

Lord Darkstorm's examples are very good. The Robert Asprin and Charles de Lint passages weren't very interesting to me. They inspired an "oh" reaction, and the others made me wonder things ranging from "What strange or mysterious thing will happen in this story?" to "Is this guy really that much of a jerk?"

This is useful to know since I hadn't thought about it before. I should look at my own writing and see if my beginnings would make someone ask the sort of questions that inspire them to read on.


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## MichaelSullivan (Oct 29, 2011)

Kevin O. McLaughlin said:


> I agree. I think most folks posting in this thread are agreeing. I think the suggestion is that there's more than one way to get someone's attention in those first few pages. It doesn't have to be an *action* "bang" - but those first few pages do have to hook the reader into wanting to read more.
> 
> That means that if you're targeting an action oriented audience, an action scene in the first pages is ideal. Other audiences might be hooked better by other types of scenes. But whatever sort of scene you use, it should hook the reader's interest - because they're only going to give you a few pages worth of their time before they go check out some other book instead.



^^This.  Thanks Kevin for putting more precisely what I was "trying" to get across.


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## Karoly (Nov 7, 2011)

The golden rule: Always show, never lecture.

Two characters in a room emotionlessly talking about what is happening = bad.
Narrator telling audience about what is happening = bad

Say you wanted to let the reader know that the kingdom has 6 provinces. You could have the narrator tell your audience "Valtei is made up of 6 provinces, the Northern Wastes, the Eastern Marshes, etc.", you could have some characters chattering about the provinces or shoehorn them into a conversation "this tobacco is from the western plains, good isn't it?". However, wouldn't it be better if you had the protagonist take his love interest to the top of a mountain and tell her "You can see all 6 provinces from here"? This way, you're developing characters and exposing plot, as well as evoking a sense of wonder as you describe the provinces and the beauty and majesty of your fantasy world (which is presumably what you want).

Just do everything like that as much as possible. Whether it's at the beginning or end. Whether it's a high action scene or a low action scene. Have something going on that makes the scene actually interesting, and try to add in any information for the reader that it is relevant to the scene.


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## FictionQuest (Nov 8, 2011)

I have a weak memory and a short attention span. For me, the worst thing at the start of the story is scene setting involving several names, whether characters or places. I don't want to have to remember things may be important later in the story. Scene setting should come in the correct context and it should come in small amounts. That is my opinion.

I don't feel it is essential to have an explosive start. The examples given above do not all have action from the first page, but they also do not immediately bury you in detail that will mean nothing until later in the story.


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## Seth son of Tom (Nov 8, 2011)

i read something that said you need three hooks in the first chapter. the first sentence must make them curious enough to read the first page. near the end of the first page you need one that will get them to continue through the first chapter. and at the end of the first chapter you need another that will get them to read the book.


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## MichaelSullivan (Nov 8, 2011)

FictionQuest said:


> I have a weak memory and a short attention span. For me, the worst thing at the start of the story is scene setting involving several names, whether characters or places. I don't want to have to remember things may be important later in the story. Scene setting should come in the correct context and it should come in small amounts. That is my opinion.



You make a very good point...and I agree. I hate an introduction that is filled with too many characters, places, and names. Let the world building grow organically throughout the story.  In the beginning...keep it focused and allow the reader to "ease into" the story.


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## MichaelSullivan (Nov 8, 2011)

Seth son of Tom said:


> i read something that said you need three hooks in the first chapter. the first sentence must make them curious enough to read the first page. near the end of the first page you need one that will get them to continue through the first chapter. and at the end of the first chapter you need another that will get them to read the book.



Interesting technique...I would not really characterize those as three "hooks" (which when I read your first line made me go...dang that seems like a lot to do in a short period of time). But as I read the rest it made more sense and I say I'll agree to some extent. I think the important thing is the starting chapter is like reeling in a fish.  You need to give them enough to pique the interest and keep providing more (it could be a bit of clarication on your first "hook" or a whole new one) but the bottom line is don't give them an opportunity to get away.  Keep the pressure on through the end of the chapter and you're likely to get them to read further.


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## Terra Arkay (Nov 9, 2011)

I guess so, my story shall start within a dream, the protagonist has been having these frequent, recurring, lucid dreams, some prophetic, some just bizarre.


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## Thalian (Nov 13, 2011)

My prologue is a short 2-3 page introduction of the main enemy ordering one of his small forces to attack the farmlands of a large human city, effectively destroying their main source of food. I think it works because it is mysterious because you don't know why the attack is being issued, and my mother-in-law, who is admittedly not a fantasy reader, said she was intrigued and pulled into the story after those first few pages, so I guess it works. My first chapter is a couple weeks after the prologue and starts off with a small farming family sitting down for supper until they get ambushed by the aforementioned war party. The battle that ensues with an elven party from the nearby forest introduces the main characters for the novel and gives readers an early taste of action.


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## Solomon Tan (Nov 13, 2011)

It just boils down to who is the reader. For me, I prefer a 40% of actions and the rest in explaining or describing the scene. I think a balance is required in getting started. 

Then again, some readers just read fast and skip details, while some really goes deep on the details and imagine the whole scene... I do have friends who finished reading the same fantasy book that I read and didn't know some of the details... 

I do enjoy a good description of the characters, or important places...


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## sashamerideth (Nov 14, 2011)

I am re writing my beginning, to make it a bit more serene, but to interrupt that serenity with bits of "not quite right"(tm)  from the start, but not a bang, just an uneasy feeling and foreboding


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## lawrence (Nov 14, 2011)

Some great posts here, thanks folks.

The book I am currently reading, Eragon, though laden with serious flaws, has a cracking opening and it definitely hooks you in to read on. I favour starting pages that thrust you into the story. Who wants to be greeted with a lecture on the geography and genealogy of the world they are entering ? I want to feel as though I am embarking on a story not a guided tour


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## Kelise (May 14, 2012)

Just wanted to un-earth this to generate some more discussion on it.

I've had one or two comments on the start of my novels saying that the start is a bit slow or needs some action. What if you're writing something where there simply isn't any 'action' as such at that stage (for example, a character is dying that gives the main character reason to go on a journey, etc) - in these cases, do you start off with a scene from later in the book? 

Or is it just that some people need an action scene to want to keep reading, and others are happy as long as they're quickly invested in the novel?

I ask because when I was musing my critique over, wondering what kind of action I needed, I realised my top three series (Mistborn, Kingkiller and Gentlemen Bastards) all start off by welcoming you into the world, which are not exactly action scenes (at least not in the first 1,000 words). 

Thoughts?


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## rhd (May 14, 2012)

I'd say yes, beginnings are incredibly important. The last book I read that drew me in immediately was 'The Hungry Ghosts' by Anne Berry. Am I allowed to reference non-fantasy lit? Well it has ghosts in it:
The Hungry Ghosts: Amazon.co.uk: Anne Berry: Books
You can read the prologue, she's pretty hardcore, spares no detail, and the rest of the book is up to par. Beginning with action is good, building up the tension for it equally important.


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## Graylorne (May 14, 2012)

I think it depends on your writing style. I tend to be descriptive, so I wouldn't hestitate to start with a slow scene. But I try to make my descriptions vivid enough to catch and keep people's attention.

So in Kelise's case, with a character dying, that could give a strong, emotionally charged opening. I certainly would start with that.


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## JCFarnham (May 14, 2012)

As was said last time this thread was active we shouldn't be talking about scene setting, or action, or _even_ activity. Instead HOOK. What a good opening should have (imo) is the following:

1) You should probably set up your protagonist as soon as you can (characterise, introduce, whatever's necessary for the moment). That way the reader will be in no confusion. This is the person we will be following, therefore this is the tone you need to be able to cope with. Following on from that ...

2) Set up the tone. If the book is about mystery start there. If its about love, have some musings on love. 

Thats probably it for me. So you see, there are many variations possible within the above frame work, but what really matters is what works for the book in question. 

There was an article on .. Omnivoracious I believe it was about good opening paragraphs. Something was highlighted that went against my instinct. Very few of them introduced a specific protagonist, rather, they introduced an idea. The core theme to come. Take _Dune _for example. We get the tiniest of hints about the boy Paul, which is rather over shadowed I'd say by the upheaval present in the setting. We are told very little of the plot, but we can gleen from that opening that someone is moving somewhere, this is of great importance within the setting, as are the characters. Herbert wasted little time in getting on a political tangent, as that is what the book is mainly about.

People often misphrase what they mean. They may say they want more action but I say what they really want is a better hook. What you need to be asking yourself Katharine is "what is the core theme and style of my story?". Start how you mean to go on. If you can hit that with enough intrigue to pull a reader into the next paragraph you should be fine. A death at the beginning of a book must be in my mind an important event, if its not and is quickly dropped I as a reader will be confused. In addition I would also expect the death to be addressed in the climax of the book (start as you mean to go on. begin with love end with love, start with mystery end with the solution)

Most of all, if your story is character oriented, don't forget to introduce your protagonist as soon as possible. You want people to be intested in the character right? So wasting time on the setting isn't that efficient. Likewise if you're telling a grand epic about a civilisation we don't really need to know about protagonists yet, but DO need some sense of scope, of a start point, and of an inciting problem.


My current (and only fantasy story at the moment) is a first person detective style narrative in an Urban Fantasy world. Although I haven't perfected it yet, my first paragraph needs to introduce the character first and foremost in a way that readers begin to sympathise with her as soon as possible. They are going to following her exploits for a while. They need to care about her. Secondly I need to get across the premise. You need to know that Catherine is a "wizard" of sorts, but that humans don't weild magic directly (if they did they'd be in violent physical trouble). and you need to know that the Fae are a focus. 

To this end I figured that I should start with "action". Catherine on a job, search for some Fae for some reason, and altogether wanting to be some where else. This is what she does and will be doing. It resonates with the character. Once the reader emphathises with the character and with the books theme, then I can begin to slowly dole out worldbuilding and plot. And only then. 


Summary: 
1) Figure out the most important elements of your story what ever they may be and get them across as interestingly, efficiently, and quickly as you possibly can.
2) Then worry about going deeper. Then worry about characterisation. Then worry about world history.
3) If anything in point 2 IS your stories focus, start with that in point 1, but don't be boring.


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## JCFarnham (May 14, 2012)

Its not the article I was going to reference but maybe you lot can dissect the following opening lines:

Omnivoracious: First & Last: Opening/Closing Lines from Our Best Books of the Month


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## Justme (May 14, 2012)

I'd rather explain a image through the eyes and senses of the charactor to build up curiousity in the reader. Then capture him.


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## Jabrosky (May 14, 2012)

My story's first draft begins with a sad scene, but I did attempt to hook the reader with the first sentence (not going to reproduce that sentence here, as it has been my experience that submitting WIPs for critique before they are finished ruins your momentum).


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## morfiction (May 14, 2012)

I started my "RES KID" book "Dove & Crow" with the violent death of a dove. It was bloody but meant as fore-shadowing. The second book, Darkling Romance, begins with a bloody death of female character in love with the protagonist. 

Do I regret the decision? Often. It's just how the story presented itself to me. I was a teenager and it appealed to me to have this kinda content. But it isn't friendly content that would get me oodles of young readers. As an adult, I can read this sorta thing. I could argue I attempted a level of sophistication. I am told my writing is clumsy at points. 

I think I disliked the beginning of Final Fantasy VII: the supposed heroes blew up a reactor, injuring hundreds of civilians!


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## Graylorne (May 14, 2012)

Curious, I just realised that the opening sentence of my first three books are all of a different kind.

1. _Four times the bronze voice called from the bell tower over the forecourt. _(all action; three boys creeping away in the middle of the night to do some unsanctioned hunting. Next line is MC speaking.).

2. _Ghyll leaned back in his chair and stared at the White priest: 'It won't ever get better?' _(dialogue; MC gets told he will never lose the limp a possessed knife gave him. Not funny at 20).

3. _The Carahaun - sanctuary of Rhidaun-Lorns underclass - a maze of alleys with brothels, gaming dens and seedy bars. _(long description of locality, working up to a clandestine meeting of some MC's. Doesn't translate really well.)

But they all should hook the reader.


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## Ireth (May 14, 2012)

Hmm, interesting. I don't think the first lines of my novels really do well as hooks. Then again, they all start with quiet normal-life scenes shortly before interesting/dangerous stuff begins to happen.

_Winter's Queen_: Vincent smiled and leaned on the frame of his front door, watching yet another cluster of trick-or-treaters hurry away down the steps.

_Summer's Blood_ (or _Summer's Pawn_): Ariel sighed impatiently and ran a hand through her hair, leaning against the wall beside the bathroom door and calling out over the sound of running water in the sink. 

_Low Road_: The stack of dirty dishes wobbled dangerously in Ã“lan's hands, threatening to fall and shatter on the packed dirt floor.


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## Lord Darkstorm (May 14, 2012)

Another method people tend to forget is that the open paragraph, sometimes two (if they aren't boring) can be out of context of a pov character and provides an introduction to the story.  

Charles de Lint - Spiritwalk:
_On September 23, 1906, one of Canada’s most notorious lumber barons went for an afternoon ride in the Gatineau Mountains and never came back. He left behind a flourishing lumber business and an extensive trail of theories, rumors and conjectures. He also left behind the architectural oddity known as the Tamson House.
_

And dune..the only action here is a move, and a visitor.  
Frank Herbert - Dune
_In the week before their departure to Arrakis, when all the final scurrying 
about had reached a nearly unbearable frenzy, an old crone came to visit the 
mother of the boy, Paul. 
_

This is one of my favorite books, and I love the opening line...those that followed hooked me fast.
Orson Scott Card - Treason
_I was the last to know what was happening to me. Or at least, I was the last to know that I
knew.
_

I think people confuse action with things that are actually interesting.  Throw a story starting with a life or death sword battle between people I don't know or care about, and I'll dislike it right away.  Have them fighting with living swords that slowly drain the life out of them the longer they fight, I'll give you a page or two.  The difference is if there is some reason to compel me to continue reading.  Some form of interest.  

Raw action that has no real interest is like a scene from any B horror flick (Friday the 13th anyone?) it might have minor gore value, but it isn't really interesting.


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## Kevin O. McLaughlin (May 15, 2012)

First lines matter, but not as much as many folks think they do. Action is important, but not in the context of "action movie". Rather, the opening must show something of importance and interest happening. Some form of action - activity - taking place.

Remember, readers will be downloading your sample to their reading device (more and more, as print continues to fade). That makes the first ten percent of your novel crucial. You MUST grab the reader in those words. You must grab them strongly enough that they immediately click "buy now" link when they reach the end of the sample, because finding out what happens next has become the most important thing they can think of in that moment.

How you achieve that is up to you, and every writer will approach the task differently. But that is the challenge every writer must meet.


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## Kit (May 15, 2012)

Fisher had tried to enter the hole in the clouds six or seven times- but kept finding 
herself back in her body, the wooden raft pressing impassively against her 
shoulderblades.


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## The Dark One (May 15, 2012)

Kit said:


> Fisher had tried to enter the hole in the clouds six or seven times- but kept finding
> herself back in her body, the wooden raft pressing impassively against her
> shoulderblades.



I quite like this. It does what I think is the most important thing a first sentence needs to do - raise questions in the mind of the reader.

I have two published novels - one starts with action and the other starts with an atmospheric build up (raising heaps of questions - I hope). The action one has been fairly successful, but the other is too new to judge.


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## MichaelSullivan (May 15, 2012)

Mistborn starts out with a prologue that is ALL Action.  It has Kiesler attacking an outpost and basically killing everyone in it.

Kingkiller does start off with someone coming into the bar with a big dead creature.  Sure not in the first paragraph - very nearly on. 

I've not read Gentlemen's Bastards.


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## MichaelSullivan (May 15, 2012)

A friend of mine is doing a series of blog posts where authors come in and discuss thir "first page".  Here is mine, for my book Theft of Swords: The Riyria Revelations #1.


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## Kelise (May 15, 2012)

MichaelSullivan said:


> Mistborn starts out with a prologue that is ALL Action.  It has Kiesler attacking an outpost and basically killing everyone in it.
> 
> Kingkiller does start off with someone coming into the bar with a big dead creature.  Sure not in the first paragraph - very nearly on.
> 
> I've not read Gentlemen's Bastards.



They're both soon, but not in the first 1,000 words where I've been told to put them. Mistborn actually has a prologue in just before that, I thought. A man coming to see how another man's Skaa population are going and if they're working well enough. 

I'm all for action in the first 50 pages, but not in the very, very first scene.


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## The Din (May 15, 2012)

I'm all for the bang, though I guess it depends on what sort of tone you want to set. As a reader, I don't like beginning in the action if the next fifty pages are all politics and fluttered eyelids.


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## Erica (May 17, 2012)

I tend to prefer a story to start with something that gives me a sense of the people and their situation, so it's helpful if they're doing something or interacting with someone in some way. It doesn't have to be a battle or a sword fight (it could even be something like a conversation at a dinner party) ... but yes, I'd agree starting with a history lesson would probably not grab me. 

One of the challenges, of course, with writing fantasy or sci fi that takes place in a made up world of some kind is getting the rules and norms of the society (and the important bits of its history) out there. But I don't think a writer needs to get everything out there in the first scene, or even the first few chapters. I'll often keep reading because of something that piques my curiosity.

Action or no action, novels starting in a 'zoomed out 'zero point of view' make me feel detached, and I tend to lose interest quickly (so if it starts this way, it should segue into a character pov quickly and clearly). I want to know who the story is going to be about. One of the other readers mentioned that starting in the middle of a really intense action scene where you get no sense of who is involved or what is at stake can also be off putting.

I liked the beginning of your Theft of Swords novel, because it gave me a sense of who your protagonists are and what their situation is and it made me chuckle a bit too. There was some action, but also Royce and Hadrian's personalities came out, as I recall.


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## JCFarnham (May 17, 2012)

Kelise said:


> They're both soon, but not in the first 1,000 words where I've been told to put them. Mistborn actually has a prologue in just before that, I thought. A man coming to see how another man's Skaa population are going and if they're working well enough.
> 
> I'm all for action in the first 50 pages, but not in the very, very first scene.



Yep that's the prologue I remember from Mistborn. Just goes to show how one author sets up a book with worldbuilding at the for front. We know the score. We know the most import power roles between the Scaa and the nobles. Dissect it, see how it works ... you could do far worse than taking a page from Brandon's bible!



I'm actually considering opening my _Faebound_ books with a "preface" (yeah, yeah, I know, may as well call it a prologue. But in my defense its far too short to be so) - first person narrator talking in a quasi-second person, part that and part hook-y/blurb style. 

You see, It's important for the tone of the book that I get to activity straight away. These are after the mystery/thriller tradition after all, so it's almost a requirement. Unfortunately I also need to impart an awful lot of magic system and setting rubbish to set everything in context (not ruining the suspense or surprise of course, this is a major balancing act). These 200 word prefaces are doing it for me and It's currently saving me an awful lot of leg work.

Maybe it works as a hook, maybe not. We'll see when I have a full draft to show for it


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## Benjamin Clayborne (May 17, 2012)

It would probably be instructive to examine a number of well-known fantasy novels and see how they start. I'd limit it to only the first book in a series, or standalone books. But I bet you'd find that they usually don't start with strong action/fights.


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## Ireth (May 17, 2012)

Benjamin Clayborne said:


> It would probably be instructive to examine a number of well-known fantasy novels and see how they start. I'd limit it to only the first book in a series, or standalone books. But I bet you'd find that they usually don't start with strong action/fights.



That's very true. Heck, _Lord of the Rings_ begins with a birthday party, of all things.


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## Devor (May 17, 2012)

I recently finished the final edits on a short story that I'd set aside for a while.  It has an action-packed first two sentences.



> A tall man, wide and well-built, leaned back in a chair, holding a silver pipe that was molded into the shape of a dragon and puffing on a jade mouthpiece so that its jaws breathed out smoke.  He gazed out over plains of meager trees, canyons and hilltops from a porch in front of a shallow cave, breathing through his pipe and giddy on fumes, waiting for his brother and looking for signs of the ride.



He leaned, and simultaneously he was holding and puffing. And then he gazed out, all while breathing and waiting and looking. That's a lot of action.

I'm both kidding, and serious.  It's not an "action scene," but it's extremely _verb heavy_.  Verbs have a way of gripping a reader and creating images in your head, I think and have heard from others, more than any other kind of word.  I think a lot of people would do well to strengthen their verb usage, and in that sense, remember that an action-centered scene doesn't actually need "action."


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## Kit (Aug 6, 2012)

**BUMP**

I remembered this thread enough to go digging for it, and sure enough on the 2nd or 3rd readthrough it is still positively SEETHING with helpful information about how to begin your story. What's more, pretty much everyone is in agreement on what is important.  Worth another bump.


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## JonSnow (Aug 6, 2012)

The first chapter has given me the most trouble. I have 2 books worth of material outlined and ready to go, its just figuring out how to hook the reader that's giving me fits. I decided to have some of everything (mood/setting, dialog/char.development, and action). The first chapter of my current WIP is situated like this:

1- First 2 pages are mood/setting to give a sense of the landscape, as the main character walks from his home on the outskirts into town. I kept it to quick mood/landscape descriptions and NO history (I believe in developing history at appropriate/natural opportunities as the plot develops)-Descriptions are all relevant to where he is... because more is going to happen here very soon.

2- pages 3-8 are character development dialog (2nd POV character introduced, as well as a peripheral character who will soon die ). 
3- pages 9-10 are the first action sequence that sets the plot in motion


My question is this:  For the average fantasy reader, assuming the writing is high quality and interesting, is this format generally OK? I don't want to start with an action sequence with characters the reader doesn't know yet. But I also don't want to make them wait too long before the crap hits the fan, either. I BELIEVE the dialog is interesting, relevant, and realistic based on what the characters know (or don't know) about what is happening around them. If it IS interesting enough to get the reader interested, is 9 pages too long before the "action" starts?


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## The Dark One (Aug 7, 2012)

JonSnow said:


> If it IS interesting enough to get the reader interested, is 9 pages too long before the "action" starts?



Depends on the font size...


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## Lord Darkstorm (Aug 7, 2012)

I've read books that have chapters of story prior to the 'action' starting.  It all depends on the story.  If the only thing interesting was action, then it would get boring quickly.  Tension does not require a battle or fight to the death scenes.


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## JBryden88 (Aug 7, 2012)

My newest project, and I think the one that really calls to me, is a project based in the same world as my unrevised draft (that project will take more research and other assorted things before I can revise it) in a culture that fairly resembles the old vikings and norsemen.

With this, I'm opening up with an event from the past. Vague, what seems like something that has nothing to do at all with the main plot, but as it turns out, is a significant battle waged that impacts the plot as we go on. The whole point of this prologue has a three pronged goal:

- Introduce the world, and the region the story is based in
- Get used to the fact that unlike my other project which is very shiny knightly and courtly/romantic, this is a very violent, brutal, and uncompromising setting
- Set up plot points that will end up haunting the hell out of my main characters

So yeah. I start things with a bang


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## Lawfire (Aug 8, 2012)

I have to recommend the book, Hooked: Write Fiction That Grabs Readers at Page One & Never Lets Them Go by Les Edgerton. It really helped me rethink beginnings.


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## FireBird (Aug 8, 2012)

I've always found that starting with a somewhat comical situation grabs my attention more than anything else. I find that I can grow attatched to characters very quickly if I can laugh with them. K. J. Parker does this with at least half of her books and I love her for it.


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