Part one of WIP. We enter the story...
Please note: This is unedited.
I think this is an interesting passage.
Might use it as the sort of pre-opening.
In 1897 Bram Stoker published what is perhaps the most well known Vampire story in history. Today we discover that sometimes mythology, wild fantasies, and reality collide in the most terrifying of ways. Today, we rediscover the Strigoi.
“Who did this boy? The woman demanded in Senegalese as she poured water over the young boy’s broken, bleeding skin.
The child hesitated, “John.” The boy replied, wincing as the older woman began to spread a salve over his back. She gritted her teeth as she worked, she could see the child’s struggle as he tried to hold back the tears that stung his eyes. The women started to chant softly waving her hands around wildly, the rhythmic ritualistic words calmed him slightly....
Again I have revised this scene, I was not at all happy with the previous version so I did not even bother to post it. Trust me it was THAT bad!
Anyhow, ignoring the obvious things such as Grammar and punctuation, which I cleaned up as much as I am capable of, thoughts?
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Emily slid into the passenger seat of Dean’s Dodge neon. The little four door had survived the storms of the previous year, but was a bit worse for wear, the black metal was dinged from...
Ok, so here is the deal. I'm posting the various revisions of my prologue because A- I like to see where I started compared to where I ended, but B- I hope that it helps someone else.
I don't bother editing these for picky things like punctuation, it's not good enough yet to warrant that kind of time.
I hope you enjoy!
I do welcome thoughts, opinions, etc. Just ignore the grammar and punctuation for the moment.
I redid the first scene the night before last, and I'm working on scene two...
“Oh my God Dean! This place is so pretty!” Emily exclaimed as she spread the blanket out over the grass.
“I thought you’d like it.” He flashed her a seductive grin as he stripped off his white tee shirt, flexing as many muscles as he could in the process before he sat down beside her. ”How did...
Seriously rough first two "chapters" for the ghost story novel.
They are more like a prologue than chapters...
Grammar, punctuation and what not aside thoughts?
“Dean, this place is so pretty!” Emily exclaimed as she spread the blanket out over the grass.
“I thought you’d like it.” He smiled at her as he sat down beside her.
“How did you find this place?”
“Oh, I got word about it from someone in school.” He winked as she giggled.
“I bet you bring all your girlfriends out...
I hope that fellow Scribes will help out with this.
I'm collecting clothing for the people of West, TX.
I have family in the area and hearing how things are it makes me want to cry!
I'm asking if those of you in the states can do simple things that will go a long way to help these people.
Things you can do:
Donate money to the Red Cross.
Clean out your closets, clothing of all sizes is needed badly, half the town is just gone, the other half have been evaced *at last update.*
I have an...
"I didn't have a catharsis for my childhood pain, most of us don't, and until I learned how to forgive those people and let it go, I was unhappy." Tyler Perry.
Seriously all joking aside, it's been a really bad day!
One of those you just lay down and scream until you cry type days.
Except I don't cry... I ran for a while, but all that did was make me sore and angry. I'm not so much sad as I am mad. However to be fair I am rather sad as well.
Yeah that's it I'm ticked, and I don't...
I'm there, I'm like the wind.
Through thick and thin I am your forever friend.
Never think twice about asking for advice.
My ear is open to any trouble you have.
Life is cruel this we know...
I wish I could give you something more, that I could be in your place and you in mine.
I would break every rule I know for you, simply because you are kind.
To take away the pain, and sorrow is my only wish. I will always be your forever friend.
When the cold night settles in and you...