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Joe's House

By S.T. Ockenner · Dec 14, 2020 · Updated Feb 16, 2021 ·

  1. Joe sat down on his blue, mustard stained couch. He thrusted his arm, covered in patches of hair, towards the black remote, which was the only thing in the house not covered in a thin layer of dust. Joe pointed the remote at his television, pressing the red button with a power symbol. The television slowly faded to a dim glow and portrayed a small blue man sprinting across a large field.

    “What an absurdly diminutive being! I know mice larger than him ” Joe said in his deep, scratchy voice.

    “Oi! Don’t you be insulting small people like that!” a shout bellowed from behind him.

    Joe turned his balding head to look at the being nearby. A small, orange bearded head with a green top hat was poking from a squat, rock-like body with 5 spindly limbs.

    “Get out of here, you nasty leprechaun!” Joe shouted.

    The television then stood up on its thick, metal legs and slapped Joe in the face.

    “Why, I never heard such preposterous blackguardery!” she shouted in an Oxford accent.

    Joe stood up, and revealed his full, toga’d glory.

    “Who’re you calling a blackguard?” Joe shouted with his wide, fanged mouth.

    He then turned around and farted on her. The television huffed and puffed and jumped at the window, hitting her face, and bouncing right back.

    “I was tired of repairing my windows, so I got plastic ones installed,” the couch said, dusting himself off.



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