Somewhere in Rural England - June 1928
"I say Edward," Lord Montgomery Carruthers mumbled sleepily as Edward started pulling back the bedroom curtains, "have we had any replies to our advert we placed ages ago for a domestic lady to replace our dear old Mrs. Hagerty?"
"I'm afraid not Sir," said Edward, outwardly as impeturbable as ever. "Would you like me to enquire further, Sir?"
"Well actually old bean not just yet as I've since had a jolly good and much better idea," said Montie slowly sitting up. "I was leaving Westbury Library a couple of days ago when I noticed a new domestic hire agency had just opened next door so decided on the spot to pop in to see what they had to offer. Must say I was completely surprised when I discovered funny old Granny Witherspoon behind the front desk as she's always been into all sorts of odd things in the past like giving me birthday presents of my old clothes, or trying to marry me off to some woman older than she is. Still she soon recognised me giving me an awfully nice welcome and generally was very helpful indeed."
"Told her what we were looking for" he continued "to which she replied that unfortunately it was very hard to find good female domestics these days, but did suggest that as I already had an excellent butler why not get him to pop in then she could discuss my requirements with him in detail and more carefully. Something or other about getting a very nice girl immediately and two for the price of one which all lost me completely, way above my head y'know, adding she could guarantee a very satisfactory solution which would cost me nothing just payment on results. Have you ever heard of the agency?"
"I'm afraid I haven't, Sir," replied Edward thoughtfully as he started running the bath.
"Never mind think you can handle it all then old chap?" enquired Montie taking a long sip of hot tea and a large bite of hot buttered toast.
"Of course Sir," replied Edward.
"Must say it all sounded awfully good to me and dashed clever all round, so I immediately signed goodness knows how many silly forms and said you'd drop by this afternoon to finalise everything" mumbled Montie his mouth now full.
"Was that wise Sir do you think?" Edward said slowly.
"Oh good heavens yes, I've always had a soft spot for dear old Grannie Witherspoon mainstay of the family and all that y'know," said Montie cheerfully whilst exploring his chest absentmindedly for any more crumbs. "Now would you be a good fellow and sort it all out with her this afternoon. Take the Bentley as I've got to meet Lady Entwhistle and Colonel Pickering later on about the church fete she's holding here next month so I shan't be able to go along with you."
"Very good Sir," said Edward. "Your breakfast will be ready in the dining room in 1 hour. Would you like tea or coffee?"
"Oh leave it up to you as usual, heavens Edward what would I ever do without you....?"
Later that afternoon Montie was to be found in deep conversation with Lady Entwhistle and Colonel Pickering carefully explaining the intricacies of the contoured flower beds that would have to be fenced off well beforehand, when suddenly Lady Entwhistle's eyes closed and for no apparent reason she sat down.
"Montie quick the smelling salts they're in her bag," said the Colonel wheezing frightfully his face rapidly going purple. "This often happens dammit..."
"Dash it all she's sitting on the wretched thing," said Montie now in a terrible panic realising that Edward had still not got back. "You take the left leg and I'll take the right. Now pull....!" a sweet aroma of perfume suddenly assailing their noses at the same time as the bag spilled open.
"Good God the old girl's a real quiet one, I never knew she was into this sort of young fashion caper thing at all," said the Colonel in amazement. "Gad she's certainly got deuced good taste though" he chortled happily shoving his bright red nose into the bag and taking long deep sniffs. "That's strange it smells of mothballs. What do you make of that Montie ? Montie....?"
"What on earth is your nose doing in my bag Colonel?" exclaimed Lady Entwhistle slowly coming to.
Suddenly hearing strangled sounds behind him the Colonel turned and saw Montie sitting wide eyed, mouth open his head shaking frantically from side to side. Still down on his hands and knees the Colonel painfully managed to twist round still further so as to follow Montie's gaze and immediately saw a long pair of very shapely legs on high heels hurrying into view.
"Might I be of assistance your Lordship ?" a sweet girl's voice murmured quietly as a vision of the most perfect female loveliness dressed in a French maid's frilly white outfit suddenly appeared in front of them.
"Ohhhhhhhh...." said Lady Entwhistle and promptly fainted again. Quickly the lovely long haired blonde picked up the smelling salts and bending down began waving them gently back and forth under the poor unconscious woman's nose.
"What on earth....?" spluttered the Colonel his view now blocked by the sight of two huge barely covered breasts swaying back and forth within inches of his face.
"D...d..d..don't mean to be rude my dear and thank goodness someone's here" Montie finally managed to squeak, "but w...w...would you mind telling me who you are?"
"Of course your Lordship" the girl said calmly "my name is Priscilla and I've been sent by your Grandmother's agency as your new temporary domestic help. Ah! Excellent I'm glad to see her Ladyship is starting to recover again. Would you like tea or coffee Madam" she said helping her up and steering her towards a large trolley piled high with biscuits and cakes beside her.
"B...but where is Edward?" stammered Montie now completely at a loss.
"Please do not worry your Lordship. He asked me to tell you just before I left that there are still several more formalities with the agency to tidy up first but will be home as soon as possible. Here" she said handing him a large white thick envelope "is the agency's formal letter of appointment signed as you will see by both your grandmother the director of the agency and Mr. Edward himself. I trust you will find all is in order....?