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Sharon and The Hag


  1. Sharon was sitting on her orange couch across from her fireplace. She got bored and decided to check her MySpace account. As Sharon reached for her phone, however, she realized it wasn’t there. She looked over and saw that her phone was on the ground. Sharon chuckled and walked over to it. She reached down for her phone, but at that moment it flew in the air and bit her.

    “Ow! How did you do that?”

    The phone stood up on its legs and howled. It was now half the size of Sharon.

    “Mom! Dad! Someone! Help!” Sharon screamed.

    Sharon remembered at that moment that her parents were on a double date with the butler and his boyfriend.

    “Dam-” Sharon began to say.

    “You watch your language, young lady!” an old woman’s voice cried out.

    Sharon turned to see a tall grey crone in a black cloak. The hag had long, wispy white hair and catlike yellow eyes.

    “Who the hel- HECK are you?” Sharon asked.

    When Sharon blinked, the ancient woman was standing right in front of her face.

    “I am...Frobble, the hag of the woods!” she cackled.

    “Er- we’re in New York City, not the woods.”

    Frobble snarled at Sharon, and the phone growled and grabbed her.

    “Foolish child, don’t you know that this used to be a beautiful forest, before you hideous mortals came along?” Frobble screamed.

    “We weren’t even here first. The Native Americans-” Sharon began.

    “You mean the ones you killed? You fools don’t even show kindness to your own!”

    The phone chained Sharon up and followed Frobble up into the next floor of the penthouse.

    “Let me go!” Sharon screamed, thrashing around.

    “I’m sick of you humans giving us orders!” Frobble screamed at her, “first you kill all the animals, then you burned the only good humans out there, then you chop down the trees, then you pollute the sky and sea with your filth and poisons!”

    They had arrived at a large gray cauldron. The phone shoved Sharon into the cauldron and got in. Then Frobble leaped into the cauldron as well.

    “Mmmmm, I can’t wait to eat you scum!” Frobble said, licking her lips.

    “I thought you didn’t eat animals! Humans are technically animals!” Sharon screamed.

    Frobble paused for a moment.

    “Hey, you’re right!”

    Frobble took off her chains and threw her roughly onto the ground.

    “I’m keeping your phone though.”



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