Androxine Vortex
Archmage
This is something I have been struggling with for a long time now. Every time I write, no matter what it is, I am always displeased with it. Every time I go back and edit it and try to prettify it, I dislike it. Even when I completely delete it and start again anew and fresh I still am unhappy with the outcome. It took me awhile to figure out why, and I think I found the answer.
I think it's the style I write in. Now some of you might be asking, "Well, what style do you write in Androxine?" Well, modern style to be honest. The ideas I have in my head are grand and epic and I'm sure all of your stories seem grand and epic in your minds too. But when I write it down on paper, I always feel like the words do not live up to the expectations. My expectations.
I love reading modernized stories such as my warhammer 40k novels (Malus Darkblade Vol. 1 being my all time fav) Harry Potter, Game of Thrones (* waves hand in a shakey motion "ehhh") and some LOTR (I say some because I got tired of a song every two pages) For a long time I have tried to write in the style of these books, not to confuse you by saying I want to copy these styles. But day after day after day after day, I just can't seem to do it. Now some of you might say, "Well you're (fairly) new to this so you have much to learn." Yes I agree 120% on that point. But here's the thing: I'm not enjoying it.
The reason why I wanted to become a author is because of my grandfather. When I was a boy, I would visit him three or four times a week. We would sit in the backyard and make books together. When I didn't know how to read or write I would tell him my ideas and he would write it down and draw pictures. He would then teach me how to read them. I thought books were fascinating inventions because they could capture my imagination. I really enjoyed writing books. This is the core reason why I have wanted to be an author. Not for fame or money, but because I love to. Yeah fame and money is always preferable but it's not my motivation.
That being said (moving back to my earlier point) I could not figure out what i was doing wrong. Everything I wrote I hated and I would have five different novels by five different authors laid out before me trying to compare and analyze. But then it sort of dawned on me why I might be struggling so much with this, and as to why I am not finding that passion I once had. I think it's because I'm not writing with my true voice.
I absolutely love reading epic poems. The Odyssey is probably my favorite. I love this style of writing. I once (for fun) in high school made a collection of stories of a fictional pantheon I created written in this old epic style. I don't know what you would call it but it would sound like something out of the Holy Bible, the format it is written. Not all "thou shalt" and that but in that general old language style. I love those stories (I wish I hadn't have lost them) and loved the style I wrote them in. When I wrote in that style, I did so with passion and pride, much like I did when I was a kid discovering the magical instrument of the pencil. It seems now when I write it is a chore. I'm writing in the style now that all modern literary culture deems acceptable, and even encouraged. But the style I feel as an author I would be more happy writing in is deemed as a big bag of poopy (couldn't think of an elegant way to put it)
I don't know if it's because I feel intimidated in writing a novel in general. It is an intimidating task, I'm sure everyone member here would agree. All I know is that I am not enjoying writing as it is. My work never lives up to my expectations and while some might say I have to lower my expectations, I feel conflicted in doing so because to me that would feel like taking a shortcut. I'm at a pivotal crossroad here. I feel like if I chose to write in the style I believe I would enjoy the most, my chances of getting published will be butchered, even though getting millions of copies sold isn't my main goal. However, I understand that I am a very, very, very slow writer and am afraid I will waste (not spend) so much time trying to create something that no matter how I try to shape it, I will always look at it and be displeased, just so that the public would find it more acceptable.
I could use any advice you can give. I really do appreciate every opinion on this forum. I have to think about this for awhile too.
I think it's the style I write in. Now some of you might be asking, "Well, what style do you write in Androxine?" Well, modern style to be honest. The ideas I have in my head are grand and epic and I'm sure all of your stories seem grand and epic in your minds too. But when I write it down on paper, I always feel like the words do not live up to the expectations. My expectations.
I love reading modernized stories such as my warhammer 40k novels (Malus Darkblade Vol. 1 being my all time fav) Harry Potter, Game of Thrones (* waves hand in a shakey motion "ehhh") and some LOTR (I say some because I got tired of a song every two pages) For a long time I have tried to write in the style of these books, not to confuse you by saying I want to copy these styles. But day after day after day after day, I just can't seem to do it. Now some of you might say, "Well you're (fairly) new to this so you have much to learn." Yes I agree 120% on that point. But here's the thing: I'm not enjoying it.
The reason why I wanted to become a author is because of my grandfather. When I was a boy, I would visit him three or four times a week. We would sit in the backyard and make books together. When I didn't know how to read or write I would tell him my ideas and he would write it down and draw pictures. He would then teach me how to read them. I thought books were fascinating inventions because they could capture my imagination. I really enjoyed writing books. This is the core reason why I have wanted to be an author. Not for fame or money, but because I love to. Yeah fame and money is always preferable but it's not my motivation.
That being said (moving back to my earlier point) I could not figure out what i was doing wrong. Everything I wrote I hated and I would have five different novels by five different authors laid out before me trying to compare and analyze. But then it sort of dawned on me why I might be struggling so much with this, and as to why I am not finding that passion I once had. I think it's because I'm not writing with my true voice.
I absolutely love reading epic poems. The Odyssey is probably my favorite. I love this style of writing. I once (for fun) in high school made a collection of stories of a fictional pantheon I created written in this old epic style. I don't know what you would call it but it would sound like something out of the Holy Bible, the format it is written. Not all "thou shalt" and that but in that general old language style. I love those stories (I wish I hadn't have lost them) and loved the style I wrote them in. When I wrote in that style, I did so with passion and pride, much like I did when I was a kid discovering the magical instrument of the pencil. It seems now when I write it is a chore. I'm writing in the style now that all modern literary culture deems acceptable, and even encouraged. But the style I feel as an author I would be more happy writing in is deemed as a big bag of poopy (couldn't think of an elegant way to put it)
I don't know if it's because I feel intimidated in writing a novel in general. It is an intimidating task, I'm sure everyone member here would agree. All I know is that I am not enjoying writing as it is. My work never lives up to my expectations and while some might say I have to lower my expectations, I feel conflicted in doing so because to me that would feel like taking a shortcut. I'm at a pivotal crossroad here. I feel like if I chose to write in the style I believe I would enjoy the most, my chances of getting published will be butchered, even though getting millions of copies sold isn't my main goal. However, I understand that I am a very, very, very slow writer and am afraid I will waste (not spend) so much time trying to create something that no matter how I try to shape it, I will always look at it and be displeased, just so that the public would find it more acceptable.
I could use any advice you can give. I really do appreciate every opinion on this forum. I have to think about this for awhile too.