My newest world

[Araktor]

Im trying to make a world invoking about 4 countries. The magic system tends to work as adding an element to things. Like adding fire to water to heat it up and ice to cool it down. The countries are Humans of Trenan. Elves of Kernan. Dwarves of Underguard. And Mech loving Darkish or shadow beings belong to the Shadowlands. Then there is a small island off of the Shadowlands call Celestialis. Many mages belong to the humans and some dark beings.

 

[Twinblade]

I think in order for us to be able to give some guidance, what is it you want us to assist with? Not trying to be awkward, as a new member myself, but the post doesnt really given us any suggestion on what you want us to help you with. Are you looking for guidanceon how you can make the countries different, but still have the same core materials to allow the magic to work across countries?

 

[Abbas-Al-Morim]

Seems like a good (if not a bit standard) setup you got going there. We don't really get enough information to form an educated opinion, but it seems promising enough. My advice: try to steer away from too many clichés (graceful elves, greedy/grumpy dwarves and evil "shadow beings") and give it an original twist.

 

[AnnaBlixt]

Sounds a tad cliché, but it depends on how you use your human/elves/dwarf-setup and what the story is. There are still original stories told about these peoples, but you can go cliché very easily with those ingredients.

 

[Araktor]

No, the elves and humans are united against a frozen race of undead beings from a fifth area, the Outlines. The dwarves tend to stay neutral and the shadow beings are actually not evil they are the shadows of the fallen that were brought back by the need for their service in the world. Most of the humans tend to worship a "Light" and are slightly biased against the shadows but they live with them because they provide passage to Celestalis(It's like a testing ground)

 

[Abbas-Al-Morim]

A frozen race of undead? That kind of sounds exactly like those white walkers (or whatever they are called from Game of Thrones).

[ASOIAF-readers beware: don't post any spoilers! They are like totally my greatest fear. I'm going to cry like a little girl if you spoil even the slightest detail!]

 

[shangrila]

Are those things undead though? I mean, so far as I can tell from the show (and I've only seen the first season), they do bring people back from the dead but they themselves are a separate race entirely.

It sounds like a decent base, although as some have said it sounds a tad cliché (but this is a basic outline, and most things probably sound cliché when you say "well, it's basically this..."). Is there anything specific you were looking for help with, or just general thoughts on your world?

 

[Varamyrr]

Are those things undead though? I mean, so far as I can tell from the show (and I've only seen the first season), they do bring people back from the dead but they themselves are a separate race entirely.

It sounds like a decent base, although as some have said it sounds a tad cliché (but this is a basic outline, and most things probably sound cliché when you say "well, it's basically this..."). Is there anything specific you were looking for help with, or just general thoughts on your world?

They are minions of the Great Other. But there is a different between the wights and the White Walkers/Others.

 

[wordwalker]

spoilers

And Abbas asked for NO spoilers here.

 

[Tom]

I haven't seen Game of Thrones. Don't have cable or dish. ):

Anyway, your world sounds pretty promising. Wish mine was that good! The shadow beings sound a bit like the ringwraiths from LOTR, but other than that I love it. Who doesn't love frozen undead?!

 

[Araktor]

The frozen undead are just that. Bones encased in ice. The shadows are based of ring wraiths but they have free wills. Al they are are people who decided to guide the living instead of live in the paradise that their afterlife is. What I really need is characters though. Just like a few classes. A monk or two a Mage and a few warriors. Add a summoner in there too. Then an archer for good measure. That is your job. The second i have 10 all in this thread i will start an RP in which you use them. Ill write in a few extras for walkins. And I've read and watched game of thrones and loved it. Also i need a shadow written. Try have the same basic thins as a human but they tend to shy away from bright light. So. Work on them. This is as much of my world as it is yours.

 

[Abbas-Al-Morim]

I don't think you really get the purpose of this particular forum.

The worldbuilding setting is not for setting up an RP. The goal of this forum is to get help for your worldbuilding and to get some constructive criticism. The whole forum is there to help writers - of all ages and abilities - with their writing. It might be possible to set up an RP on her somewhere - though I doubt it. There's already a collective worldbuilding effort going on and some kind of dice-based RP as well.

So you might want to try elsewhere to find some roleplayers. Also, you might want to expand on your world, your setup,the rules and pretty much everything.

 

[Araktor]

Some will hate me for this but I INVOKE THE POWERS OF OSIRIS! THREAD! RETURN TO THIS BOARD!

Anyways, its been a long while since I've touched this place and the account has come into new ownership. Im Erik, the brother of the accounts former owner. I intend to begin this world again, using his ideas but with a more magic based world.

 

[CupofJoe]

Some will hate me for this but I INVOKE THE POWERS OF OSIRIS! THREAD! RETURN TO THIS BOARD!

I hope you made the proper sacrifices... or will HE be annoyed!!!
Welcome [sort of] back.

 

[Gurkhal]

I'm gonna have to come in as a bit of a nay-sayer and say that I personally don't really like the set up with four countries, one for each race of beings. I could of course be done but from the sound of it, it gives a very artificial feeling to it that this kind of situation would not have developed if people would just go about their lives. You might want to think over exactly how this situation has developed, from where and the why of it.

 

[Araktor]

Umm. Im using four because thats what my brother made. The races will be added. Including but not limited to Goblins Orcs cow-men trolls vampires reptile-men and a couple more. It's just i haven't had time to edit it properly yet.

 

[Araktor]

As i forgot. Back. Again. Actually doing edits tonight.

 

[Saigonnus]

I'm gonna have to come in as a bit of a nay-sayer and say that I personally don't really like the set up with four countries, one for each race of beings.

I tend to agree with Gurkhal's opinion. Most countries in our world have always been a blend of different races and cultures throughout history, so I tend to see it as a bit unrealistic to have one race in one kingdom. I -could- hypothetically see it if there are some serious geographic hurdles between the lands they inhabit, like an island far out at sea, a massive mountain range that spans the width of the continent etc... Inevitably you'd have to have SOME manner of trade between the different kingdoms and where there is trade, generally there is migration.

 

[shangrila]

I could see one or maybe two isolationist type of nations, where there is an overwhelming majority of the population that's one race. But one race per country seems unrealistic, like others have said, especially if you're talking large nations. They would have inevitably come into conflict with the other races to expand and would have either subjugated or annihilated the losing race.