Subtitles. Yes, No, Maybe?

[Trick]

I think this is the best place to post this question but if not I apologize.

I've been working on a title for my WIP. I had one I was fond of but turns out there is a published book with that name and the genre's are very similar if not exact. Even though the stories themselves couldn't be more different otherwise, I abandoned it.

So, after a lot of searching I have found a title I like but the problem is that I have a subtitle now and I really like it but I'm not sure how others will feel. As much as this feels like standing naked in front of a crowd, here it goes:

Darkling Sun
The Mark of a Thief​

Any comments?

 

[Asura Levi]

It will seems like a series. Appart from that, the title is amazing, when is your WIP due to publishing?

 

[Trick]

Actually, part of the reason I added the subtitle was to give the impression that it may have a sequel without making the idea too forbidding to publishers. I'm glad you like it! Unfortunately I have no contract at this time and it's not in a condition I'm yet satisfied with so my plan is to work out the kinks and go the route of self-publishing on Kindle. Unless of course I get interest from a publisher before that happens. Could be online as soon as this winter though.

 

[Grimwen]

*thumbs up*

I love the title. Even if it's not part of a series, a subtitle like that is still cool, in an awesome retro-ish 19th century kinda way. (I'm not sure if that makes sense, but I mean it as a compliment ) Besides, I really like the contrast between the kinda abstract 'Darkling Sun' and the more down-to-earth subtitle. It makes it interesting and I'd take it off a shelve (or click on it in a kindle store) to read more. Good luck with publishing!

 

[Ireth]

Just to play devil's advocate here, I like the subtitle a lot more than the actual title; I think you could turn the former into the latter, possibly by trimming it up a bit. Maybe "Thief's Mark"?

 

[phillipsauthor]

Personally, I would leave the subtitle out. "Darkling Sun" is intriguing on its own; putting the subtitle after it makes it sound to me like a sequel rather than a first book. However, either way would work.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

In my opinion, it's going to depend on your WIP's content and feel. If you're writing something retro or old-fashioned, like Steampunk, then it would make sense within that context. However the title/subtitle trend went out of fashion because it became perceived to be clunky and pretentious. I don't think that is the impression you want to make. I would choose one or the other, and as Ireth points out shorter is often better.

 

[Asura Levi]

I don't know about shortening it. I surely would look different to a Thief's Mark, it is not that appealing to me.
I know we "shouldn't" judge the book by its cover, and name, but it is the first impression, so everyone judges.

But then again, that is me. I could easily be part of the majority and common sense as often as not. So in the end, go with what make YOU feel better.

 

[Jamber]

You have two very different ideas in title and subtitle; as a reader I couldn't easily make sense of the gap in logic. One is a highly personal and warm title (and that's the one I gravitated to -- Mark of a Thief). The other felt too remote, and I wondered if it might work better as:
Mark of a Thief
- Darkling Sun -
In other words put the human-scale thing first, the macro-scale title second (but somewhat flagged).

An example that sprang to mind for me was His Dark Materials -- Northern Lights (as it was marketed here in Australia; in the US it was His Dark Materials -- The Golden Compass) by Phillip Pullman. On the covers you can see that the more colourful and tangible (i.e. less remote) idea is writ large, while the umbrella title for the series is kept small and backgrounded. Children's writer Philip Pullman ranked second on US banned books list | Books | guardian.co.uk

Just a thought, but as a reader I feel more drawn into the work by having a human scale element first, the more remote idea second.

Jennie

 

[Caged Maiden]

I like the title as you wrote it. I think it sounds like a good fantasy title that gets the mind thinking, but then the subtitle gives the impression it's part of a bigger story.

I use subtitles in every title chapter in my WIP, but that's because the titles are written in Italian. So I'm not against subtitles. I think you should choose whatever works for your book, because ultimately, it's YOU who knows the intimate details of how the title refers to the story itself.

 

[Trick]

Thanks to all for comments! If it helps at all, this WIP has an almost eighteenth-century, English slum feel but is counterbalanced by a rift in society. There are the poor, with wood burning stoves for winter in broken down tenements. Then there are the rich, with hover carriages and modern weaponry for their police force. It does have steampunk elements but it's a distant cousin, not a sibling.

I've definitely considered switching title and subtitle or possibly eliminating one or the other but I like both so I have yet to make any changes. At the moment, I'm thinking I will work on using the cover art to downplay Darkling Sun without quite making it the subtitle. I want to hint that it's an umbrella title for a series because it very well could end up being just that.