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Self-editing and assessing tension

risu

Troubadour
I know my book is beyond the normal accepted length for unknown authors. It's sitting at 173K, and that's after it's been trimmed down from 202K. I'm not opposed to cutting more, but I'm at a loss as to what to cut.

Well, a friend of mine wanted to beta-read it. She had never read a fantasy novel before (she reads chic-lit), and started skimming about 40K from the end. She blames her ADD. I'm pretty sure it's my story.

Even though my story isn't her preferred genre, and she's not my target audience, I figure I should at least be able to hold her attention if I have enough tension, right?

How do you guys assess tension in your stories? Any tips?
 

BWFoster78

Myth Weaver
Even though my story isn't her preferred genre, and she's not my target audience, I figure I should at least be able to hold her attention if I have enough tension, right?

I'd say that's a pretty good sign that your story needs work.

How do you guys assess tension in your stories? Any tips?

Post a short segment on the Showcase, preferably one you're iffy about in terms of tension. Get some feedback about how to add tension and emotion and tighten your writing. Keep doing that (or find another source of critiques) until you understand how to improve your story. Use what you learned to do another draft.
 

PaulineMRoss

Inkling
Well, a friend of mine wanted to beta-read it. She had never read a fantasy novel before (she reads chic-lit), and started skimming about 40K from the end.

There's your problem right there. Chick-lit usually weighs in at - what? 90K words? Your book is twice that length. She's bound to feel that it's going on for ever. Whereas a regular fantasy reader would feel short-changed at anything under 150K or so (bit less for urban, bit more for epic). Even if you find a fantasy fan to beta-read it, if they enjoy the all-action style and your book is a deeply introspective character-driven story, they'll find it slow. So you need to match your book to the beta reader, I would say. Or get an array of beta readers of different preferences.

Just because one reader wasn't riveted by your book doesn't mean there's anything at all wrong with it.
 

Leuco

Troubadour
BWFoster78 is right. You should try posting something you're convinced needs work in the showcase. I was once stuck in a rut and I posted a scene looking for suggestions and I got some very helpful feedback.

As for tension, I suggest considering adding some ambiguity or mystery. Sometimes in Fantasy writing, authors drag out long backstories or start at the very beginning or include long prologues about who is the son of what hero and what their motives are. If you just hint at these things enough for readers to figure it out as they go, it may help keep their interest. It's ok to drop clues and keep the reader guessing as to who the real bad guy is or why he's really doing bad stuff, just as long as it's not confusing. "But who was that guy? Why did he do that? I need to know!" That kind of thing.
 

risu

Troubadour
You should try posting something you're convinced needs work in the showcase.

Ah, but there's the kicker. She didn't start skimming until 135K into the story. I don't have a clear-cut point where I started to lose her at, since interest tends to taper off as opposed to flicking off like a light switch. (At least that's how it works for me.) And I'm pretty sure people wouldn't be impressed if I put 135K on the showcase.

And I'm not convinced where she left off at is where it needs work. It might be earlier, but I don't know how much earlier. I'd be willing to post the chapter, but it references concepts discussed earlier in the book, which might not make sense on its own. Unless you think posting the entire story would help?
 

Daichungak

Minstrel
Don’t let one reader, reading outside their preferred genre, affect you that much. Get some beta readers who are as passionate about fantasy as you are to read your draft. I know that if I was asked to beta read chick-lit, even a mere 90k words of chick-lit, it would have a very hard time holding my attention.

I would be happy to read some of the scenes you are concerned with and provide feedback.
 

BWFoster78

Myth Weaver
Ah, but there's the kicker. She didn't start skimming until 135K into the story. I don't have a clear-cut point where I started to lose her at, since interest tends to taper off as opposed to flicking off like a light switch. (At least that's how it works for me.) And I'm pretty sure people wouldn't be impressed if I put 135K on the showcase.

And I'm not convinced where she left off at is where it needs work. It might be earlier, but I don't know how much earlier. I'd be willing to post the chapter, but it references concepts discussed earlier in the book, which might not make sense on its own. Unless you think posting the entire story would help?

Try not to think of the help you will receive as a way to fix a particular part of your book. Try to think of it as a way to become a better writer.

You want to learn how to fish, so you can be fed for a lifetime!

Post the first chapter, and see what people think.
 
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