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'Strong' vs 'mean' in female characters

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
One thing I want to add to the conversation on "strong" female characters is that just because a woman comes across as strong, independent, or otherwise not stereotypically feminine doesn't guarantee they represent feminist ideals. If anything, some of the most viciously misogynistic, anti-feminist people I have met were women who distanced themselves from the perceived female norm and identified more with the male half of the species. Being a so-called tomboy doesn't necessarily mean you recognize that women are people too.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for action heroines, but giving one chick a sword doesn't mean you can't subscribe to sexist thinking.

That is actually an excellent point with the Anita Blake character. She several times has other female characters try to get her to sympathize with them from some sort of "sisterhood" perspective, but Anita just doesn't get it. She sees herself as having to keep up with male cops in a hyper-testosterone environment, and pushes hard to be "one of the guys." She doesn't have close relationships with other female characters - thus, a downside to the transgression I earlier mentioned about how exhibiting aggressive "male" characteristics separates women from their traditional roll as "doormat." In this case, Anita become socially separated from women entirely by her aggressive nature and dangerous occupation - eventually, as the series rolls along, she is almost entirely surrounded by male friends and co-workers, and those few women in her life are like her, or married to men like her.
 

Bee

Dreamer
No matter what I write I always have very strong female characters, and this is strong rather than mean, I think you should always be able to make the difference. It is right that too often in writing or other media strong female characters end up in the mean category, but all people are different so why should there be such pigeonholes? You can have strong females who are also gentle, funny, kind. Strong females do not in any way have to be mean as well unless you specifically want them to be.
 

Guy

Inkling
Make the character an authentic human being (assuming, of course, the character is human) and the problem will be solved.
 

Shasjas

Scribe
I've personally encountered this issue in both my personal life and my previous career. I am a very outspoken woman, an alpha female, if you will. In a social environment when the core personality traits I tend to exhibit are expressed by a man - extroversion, assertiveness, taking control of a conversation, taking control in emergency situations, confident expression of interest in a possible sexual partner, and a willingness to become physically aggressive if necessary to protect those who are weaker or if attacked - a guy like that would be considered "manly," a "stand-up" sort of guy. In a woman, even in today's changing climate, these traits are still seen somehow as transgressive, and suddenly the behavior that's "assertive" in a man becomes "bitchy." It's an interesting sociological experiment to watch in action. I am rarely mean and don't go looking for trouble - in fact, when angered, I become cold and formal. But, still, as Chesterama points out, it seems to be a choice between being a "bitch" and a "doormat." In mixed company, the doormat is socially more acceptable. She's soft, and yielding, lets her opinion be swayed by louder, more assertive voices, and avoids conflict at almost all cost. She talks around a refusal, rather than straight out say "no."

extroversion, assertiveness, taking control of a conversation, taking control in emergency situations, confident expression of interest in a possible sexual partner, - a guy like that would be considered "manly," a "stand-up" sort of guy.

I don't know about anyone else, but if these qualities were expressed in a woman to the degree that I would think of her as bitchy, then I would think of a man displaying these qualities, to the same degree, as equally bitchy.
 

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
extroversion, assertiveness, taking control of a conversation, taking control in emergency situations, confident expression of interest in a possible sexual partner, - a guy like that would be considered "manly," a "stand-up" sort of guy.

I don't know about anyone else, but if these qualities were expressed in a woman to the degree that I would think of her as bitchy, then I would think of a man displaying these qualities, to the same degree, as equally bitchy.

Possible, indeed probable, but you know what else you would probably call him?

"Boss."
 
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