Tag Line

[psychotick]

Hi,

I'm currently finishing off the first draft of another book "The Nephilim", and in keeping with my usual practice am also working on the cover. It helps keeps me motivated / focussed.

For this book I have got a tag line. "We're nephilim, we're screwed!" The line is used a couple of times during the book and perfectly expresses the MC's cynical attitude to his life as a nephilim. It also fits well with the cover image I've obtained, which essentially shows angst / frustration. It will be used as the tag line on the back cover of the hard back and book description for kindle etc.

But my question is should this go on the front cover as well? It fits the book and the theme perfectly, but I'm not sure how readers would respond to it.

So the cover title would be:

THE NEPHILIM
We're Nephilim, We're Screwed!​

Any thoughts?

Cheers, Greg.

 

[kayd_mon]

Is your book a comedy? That's the impression I get. If it isn't, I might go with a different tagline for the cover. I would expect the book to be a comedy with a fantasy aesthetic with a line like that.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

I would keep the tag line on the back, and leave the cover just for title, author name, and artwork. That way your tag line has more punch, and your cover looks professional.

Also, have you considered taking out the comma and stacking in 3 lines? I think the comma might be adding an extraneous pause that you could use to better effect just by dropping the line down.

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

Thanks guys. I was a little worried that it does sound comedic when it's not. I hadn't considered three lines though.

Cheers, Greg.

 

[Ireth]

You might also consider replacing the word "screwed" with "doomed" to give it a more serious feel, and maybe making the exclamation mark and comma both periods. I think "We're Nephilim. We're doomed." packs a bit more of a punch. Especially on three lines.

 

[Svrtnsse]

It does sound a bit comedic. Is this the exact phrase used in the book?

Within the book it will come across as more serious, but on the cover and without context I don't think it will work.

 

[Addison]

I like the line. A cover is like the illustrated version of the back cover or inside flap. It tells the reader "Who, what, where, why you should care." Maybe not loud and clear, but the line does help. Although I must agree it doesn't sound comedic. Almost like, "I cast my vote for liberty, freedom, and a caramel macchiato." If it's not supposed to be comedic then I suggest either getting rid of the exclamation point or making it two sentences. "We're Nephilim. We're screwed."

Just a suggestion. Hope it helped.

 

[BWFoster78]

I'll echo the other sentiments expressed that I don't think that particular tagline would do anything for you.

Regarding taglines in general, though. Here's where they can add a huge value - increasing your SEO for the book.

I'm not saying I'm going to do this or advocate that anyone else do it, but I think that this can help move your book up the Amazon search rankings.

Let's say that there's an audience out there who are into battles between dragons and dwarves, and let's say that these people search for books on Amazon by typing in Dragons vs Dwarves. Let's further say you happen to have written a book about a battle between dragons and dwarves. In this case, you certainly want to include that phrase in the list that you're allowed. You also want to make sure to work that phrase into your description. If you really want to amp up your ranking, however, include it in the title: Fire Hammer: An epic battle of Dragons vs Dwarves.

Just a thought.

Brian

 

[Michael J. Tobias]

My first reaction was the same as kayd_mon's. That tag line has comedy written all over it.

 

[psychotick]

Hi Guys,

Back cover I think it is. Which is a pity because as I say it does match the book and the cynical character of the MC perfectly, and is used verbatim several times. But on its own without something to reinforce its place, it does sound a little comedic - which it just isn't supposed to be.

Thanks, Greg.