What's in these names?

[Gryphos]

Pikeman Glaive

Jerk Salmon

Eldridge Wetnyrse

So often I end up coming up with names, which then inspires me to develop characters to attach them to. Here are some recent examples. And, just for funsies, I'd like to know what people think of when they read these names. What kind of person do you imagine Pikeman Glaive, Jerk Salmon and Eldridge Wetnyrse being?

 

[Garren Jacobsen]

Pikeman Glaive- Soldier by profession and a leader of a group of pikemen. One long scar running across his face from a noble's sword slash, he killed the noble. Loves his drink, preferably the alcoholic kind. Gambler, mean to idiots friendly to not idiots. He's a stab first ask questions later kind of guy.

Jerk Salmon-He's a jerk in the Gastonish variety. Athletic, handsome, but a jerk. He enjoys all the manly pursuits of hunting and fishing. He also is a noble.

Eldridge Wenyrse- Farm boy that is the bastard son of a Lord Eldridge from Westington. He's charming kind and is a lady's man. He is skilled with a bow staff. Wants to meet his noble father (who is less noble than you think). Eventually joins the military to get out of his provincial town, which he'll move back to after all the fighting and what not.

 

[Reilith]

Pikeman Glaive - A man in his forties, receding hairline, gray hair, a monocle, long nose curved downward to his mouth, with a gray mustache, always in a grey suit with gloves and a walking cane. Has extremely flat head to the sides so his face seems narrow.Oh, and a top hat. Always looks like something smelly's under his nose.

Jerk Salmon - A thuggish man, thirties, likes to brawl, relies on brute strength, cracked his skull once, but cracked many more of others during his lifetime. Tan, bulky, with a raggedy scar across his face from a knife fight, likes to punch women. Hates to eat fish.

Eldridge Wenyrse - A young tomboyish girl, from the countryside, always wearing dirty clothes and a straw-hat, hates being called bun her full name. Has dreams of becoming the first female military captain. Has freckles and auburn hair in two braids, a perky nose and defiant blue eyes. Has a tiny problem with kleptomania.

 

[Nimue]

All I can think is that these are names that a soldier, a fisherman, and a vicar gave to their own penises.

I don't know why. Please pray for me.

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

All I can think is that these are names that a soldier, a fisherman, and a vicar gave to their own penises.

I don't know why. Please pray for me.

Now I can't unsee it. Not even needles through the eyes can save me.

@Nimue, I was trying to press the "thanks, I think" button, but it just came up as regular thanks.

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

names … [given] to their own penises.

Dick Riddick

 

[Garren Jacobsen]

This went off the rails fast.

 

[spectre]

Pikeman Glaive - coffee and donuts

Jerk Salmon - dinner with a mad fisherman

Eldridge Wetnyrse - absynthe

 

[Ophiucha]

Pikeman Glaive - A Kurt Russell-sort of man. He's getting too old to be a soldier, but he doesn't have a wife or kids to take care of him in his old age, so he figures he'll just keep fighting. He may be a commoner, and only has a first name (Glaive) as a result.

Jerk Salmon - A Jamaican, probably. Old, wise, smoky voice. The sort of man who makes decisions without explaining why, and sometimes they come across as cruel, but people know it's going to work out. He always knows what's right. Possibly a religious leader? He still smiles every time someone makes a joke about his name, even though he's heard them all before.

Eldridge Wetnyrse - Well, this one just makes me think of a wetnurse with eyes a colour outside of the normal spectrum and tentacles on her chest that secrete what looks like milk, maybe tastes like it too, but the babies in her care never seem to grow up right.

 

[Gryphos]

I'm gonna resurrect this because I like seeing what people think of when they see a name. So how do you imagine the bearers of these names?

Erwin E. Erwindaughter

Hunter Butcher

 

[Cambra]

Pikeman Glaive? Sharp!

Eldritch Wetnyse? Very very old... One of the nonnas

 

[valiant12]

Pikeman Glaive- There is a dude with similar name in my main WiP. He is one of my least favorite characters

Jerk Salmon- He is a fisherman's son, work as a mercenary and is a foreigner in the place where he lives. his favorite weapon is a pair of daggers. he left his home country to find a secret artefact stolen from his village.

Eldridge Wetnyrse- Women. Work as a babysitter, taking care of some annoying princess. She was the girls wet-nurse and now the girl is one of the most powerful mages in the world. Also, she has purple eyes that glow in the dark.

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

Sorry, but for me the first thing I think when I hear them is that they all sound obviously made up.

Pikeman Glaive - both pikes and glaives are weapons. How many people do you know called Sword Spear? I could live with Pikeman as a surname though- save that it would be aweful if Mr. Pikeman was actually a pikeman!

Jerk Salmon - Oh my God! Has no one ever heard of jerked chicken?! But even if you got rid of the salmon part naming some poor child Jerk would be cruel and unusual. To be fair though I once did a salmonellosis follow up with a child called Kobra - named by her father after his truck radio! He also had sons Harley and Norton.

Eldridge Wetnyrse - No matter how many times I try I can't get past the Wetnurse part. Have you not seen the Blackadder series set with Liz the raving mad and her wetnurse?

Erwin E Erwindaughter - presumably the middle E is also for Erwin? And there's another issue. Since no man would ever accept being called "daughter" Erwin must be a girl's name. But very few cultures accept mother's names as the surname handed down to children.

As for Hunter Butcher - have you met his brother Baker Candlestickmaker?

Cheers, Greg.

 

[Gryphos]

Hi,

Sorry, but for me the first thing I think when I hear them is that they all sound obviously made up.

Pikeman Glaive - both pikes and glaives are weapons. How many people do you know called Sword Spear? I could live with Pikeman as a surname though- save that it would be aweful if Mr. Pikeman was actually a pikeman!

Jerk Salmon - Oh my God! Has no one ever heard of jerked chicken?! But even if you got rid of the salmon part naming some poor child Jerk would be cruel and unusual. To be fair though I once did a salmonellosis follow up with a child called Kobra - named by her father after his truck radio! He also had sons Harley and Norton.

Eldridge Wetnyrse - No matter how many times I try I can't get past the Wetnurse part. Have you not seen the Blackadder series set with Liz the raving mad and her wetnurse?

Erwin E Erwindaughter - presumably the middle E is also for Erwin? And there's another issue. Since no man would ever accept being called "daughter" Erwin must be a girl's name. But very few cultures accept mother's names as the surname handed down to children.

As for Hunter Butcher - have you met his brother Baker Candlestickmaker?

Cheers, Greg.

Oh yeah, I'm not trying to make these realistic names that people could actually have. I just want memorable and interesting names. I mean, come on, it's fantasy! If we can have Aragorn and Kvothe, we can have some Erwin E. Erwindaughter (and yes, the E does stand for Erwin. His name is Erwin Erwin Erwindaughter).

Speaking of Erwindaughter, I intended for it to be a deliberate alteration to the formula of how some surnames end in 'son'. Seeing as in our world those names originally meant 'son of ...' and then just turned into unisex surnames, it'll be similar in this world perhaps. Erwindaugher originally meant 'daughter of Erwin', but over time has just evolved into a general, unisex surname.

As for Hunter Butcher, I'm thinking that I'll have it be a running theme in her family for their first names to be professions ending in 'er'. I think she'll have a sister called Fletcher Butcher and a father called Archer Butcher.

I like to have fun with names.

 

[The Stranger]

Pikeman Glaive- A rough necked kind of man with a brutish attitude. he was a war veteran at one point but he was kicked out for drinking too much. of course, he was a pike man and still has his spear from the war.

Jerk Salmon- A shrewd little man who grew up in the fishing slums of a big city. he is not very attractive and gets by mostly on petty crimes and thievery. He has a long criminal record but is not a dangerous criminal.

Eldridge Wetnyrse- A young boy, very effeminate in nature whom is raised as a girl. His parents call him "Elly" in front of others. This is because in their land, every boy is taken at a very young age off to the military. Eldridge doesn't even seem to be aware of his own gender, as he had been raised female so long that he knew nothing else.

 

[Jay_Ehm]

Pikeman Glaive: A sturdily-built, no-nonsense old man. He can have a bit of a prickly attitude, but when things take a turn for the worse he's the kind of guy you want holding the line. He comes from a long line of soldiers and mercenaries, but he himself is a weapon crafter.

Jerk Salmon: A rude and crass kayaker who has a long face and odd overbite that make him resemble the titular fish that provides his surname. He often spends his time making terrible jokes about other people. He is very determined, however, and likes to defy the impossible when it comes to his favorite sport.

Eldridge Wetnyrse: Poor Eldridge Wetnyrse. All throughout school he was teased for his last name- "Eh, Wetnyrse, suckle any good babies lately?" Eldridge is very caring and compassionate towards almost everyone he meets despite that, and will go the extra mile to help his friends. He has an eye for recognizing people's talents and helping those talents flourish and grow.

Erwin E. Erwindaughter: Erwin E. Erwindaughter doesn't really like his name, either. He comes from an important family, but is their only child. Therefore, they piled as many Erwins into his name as they possibly could. People who don't know him personally often assume he's a woman due to his last name and it leads to a lot of situations where he angrily corrects them. He is set to inherit his father's vast fortunes, but would rather be his own person and live his ideal, eccentric, but adventurous own life. And before you ask, yes, the middle initial stands for Erwin as well.

Hunter Butcher: Everyone wants to be Hunter Butcher. She's cool, sexy, badass- she has it all. Just the sight of her makes even the manliest man question his masculinity, and other women to grow mighty beards. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but she does have quite a reputation to hold up. She's a Ranger, and always insists on working alone. A true Lone Wolf.

 

[Shreddies]

Pikeman Glaive - His father, Glaive Senior, was a traumatized military officer who was hit in the head a few too many times. And when asked what they should name him, he replied: 'PIKEMEN!!' But that was plural and unsuitable for a young boy's name. Thus, after giving him his medicine, they settled on Pikeman.

Jerk Salmon - The child of Rascal (Ras) and Hooligan (Hooli) Salmon. His parents had high hopes for him, and dreamed of the day that he would take over the family business.

Hunter Butcher - Butcher, formerly known as Butcher Butcher, was the youngest child of a long line of proud butchers. But he felt unsatisfied. Butchering dead animals was not enough, he wanted something more! He wanted to hunt them down, too! When he told his parents this. 'Sacrilege!' They replied. Butcher's father, Butcher Butcher Senior the Third, disowned him, saying: 'I'm taking back the name I gave you!' Thus, Butcher lost his name. One of them, anyway. He set off to become the best hunter in the land, and after a few years of apprenticing, he succeeded. He possessed legendary skill and hunted every animal in the kingdom to near extinction. The people called him: 'Hunter Butcher' (actually, they usually called him 'That lunatic with the bow', but never to his face, that would be rude)

Eldridge Wetnyrse - Chthulhu in an apron. (Eldridge Wetnyrse - Eldritch Wetnurse) I can't unsee it!!

 

[Gryphos]

So on the subject of two of these stupid names, I've decided to use Erwin E. Erwindaughter and Hunter Butcher in a story, and the names have already provided much opportunity for banter.

Hunter Butcher is a knight, and Erwin is her squire.

She looked at him with green eyes and shook her head. “Erwin E. Erwindaughter… I’ll never get over how stupid your name is.”

Erwin raised an eyebrow. “Says Hunter Butcher. Where’s your brother, Baker Candlestickmaker?”

“He’s just announced his engagement to Benjamin f*ckyouandgogetmemyshieldsquire.” She gave Erwin a wide smile. “It’s a very old and noble bloodline”

 

[Gryphos]

Let's bring this back, because I've thought of some weird names. What do you imagine when you see the names:

Jackary Cheiss

Connor Fectionary

Wankers Dumboll

Mr. Danklaw

 

[ThinkerX]

Jackary Cheiss mean spirited prankster - with the bruises to prove it. Army guy.

Connor Fectionary Either he comes from a family that put together a dictionary, or he's a baker specializing in cakes.

Wankers Dumboll please let this be a nickname assigned to the army screw up.

Mr. Danklaw Stern faced teacher with a fashion sense two decades behind the times.