Trying to Avoid Alienating a Native American Audience

[AndrewLowe]

So, a large portion of my current WiP follows a character who in a member of a coven of hedge-witches/pagans (I never use the term witches in the manuscript). The coven is located in South Carolina and I've created a pretty solid spiritual/magical/lingual structure for the coven.

Now my concern is that I've created an ancient tribe of pre-Columbus Native Americans called the Drabha, from which this coven derived their spiritual/magical/lingual structure. A large theme throughout the coven is adherence to and respect for the Drabha faith and language. Many traditional NA values also bleed through in the work--connection to nature, honor, etc.

I always try to portray the NA cultures (as others are mentioned throughout) in a respectful manner, however I have some concerns about the potential for alienating Native Americans or committing some mistaken faux pas. I am especially concerned, because I am taking some quite extreme liberties in giving my Drabha tribe actual magic in a more westernized sense (I have actually tried to borrow a lot from naturalist philosophies).

Here's an example quote (one of the few which actually mentions the Drabha):

"Hillary skipped past the dividers for Lore, Etiquette, Ritual, Waxing Tributes, and Waning Tributes before she stumbled on the procedures for ‘Black Moon Triangulation’ which Liam had given her at the last Solstice. Squinting to decipher his whimsical cursive script, Hillary skimmed the incantation.

"‘Black Moon Triangulation’ wasn’t precisely a full Tribute. However, Liam had said that it helped to clear the mind and aided “the weary traveler in finding their compass in the depth of night.” Hillary began a finger dance as she read the prayer aloud—many parts of which came from the Drabha tongue, a butchered amalgamation of the Cherokee and Waccamaw languages."
​

I never actually attempt to write in a "butchered amalgamation of the Cherokee and Waccamaw languages." Instead, I write the excerpts in English with the occasional Cherokee word. I'm a solid linguist when writing a Romance-style language, but I really don't want to attempt it with such an already marginalized populace.

I'm curious about your thoughts

Thank you!

 

[AndrewLowe]

By the way, that's a very rough quote that I only wrote tonight... First drafts :/

 

[CupofJoe]

Personally I wouldn't use a real world language at all for your magic at all.
Also I wouldn't reference others. The word "butchered" is very loaded with meaning and association especially if you pair it with two real world cultures. You may not mean it to be offensive but others almost certainly will read negative connotations in to it's use.

 

[Miskatonic]

Do your research on the tribes you are going to portray and get a better idea what they were all about. Write them like you would any other person, with flaws and strengths, dreams and fears. If it's from a POV outside of their world then you can introduce certain possible stereotypes (try to find some from actual history that people during this time period actually believed) and then show examples of the native people behaving in a way that contradicts those assumptions, or give a culturally based reason why they find certain things acceptable that an outsider may not.

 

[Nimue]

The issue with using an NA language is that it implies a) this language is dead and b) everything said in this language is *magical* for some reason. (Even if you're claiming to use a fictional long-dead tribe, you're using bits and pieces of real native languages.) Latin is such a popular choice because there's no native-speakers around to complain about the terrible bastardization that it gets in fantasy novels, and there's a lot of respect for it entrenched in mainstream society. Native languages aren't similarly suited to being hacked up and used willy-nilly. There are a lot of native speakers of Cherokee right now who might be understandably miffed by their language being used to "spice up" a fantasy novel.

Having this language and way of magic be used wholesale by the European colonizers (assuming that Hillary and Liam from South Carolina are part of that culture?) is another tricky topic. If characters in the book draw attention to this--and ideally, you see actual Native practitioners of this magic at some point--that's one thing, but having that just be the way it is, unexamined, is another. Is there a reason why the Drabha need to be completely gone, why there would be no living descendants of them? You haven't said that they are for sure, but you also haven't mentioned any Native characters.

Agreed that you should do quite a bit of research on this to make sure your magic, language, and practices are actually faithful to some degree to the native culture in that area.

 

[HellionHeloise]

Having this language and way of magic be used wholesale by the European colonizers (assuming that Hillary and Liam from South Carolina are part of that culture?) is another tricky topic. If characters in the book draw attention to this--and ideally, you see actual Native practitioners of this magic at some point--that's one thing, but having that just be the way it is, unexamined, is another. Is there a reason why the Drabha need to be completely gone, why there would be no living descendants of them? You haven't said that they are for sure, but you also haven't mentioned any Native characters.

Yes, I definitely agree with Nimue on this count. Maybe once you get farther into your WIP you could get into contact with a Cherokee reservation liaison of some sort to consult with on portions of your text you're unsure about?

It's good that you're taking the first step to think about being more inclusive in your writing. I would include some characters who are actually Native American in the writing, not just distant descendants.

 

[CupofJoe]

These may be of interest:
JK Rowling is criticised for writing web post about Native American wizards
and
“Magic in North America”: The Harry Potter franchise veers too close to home

 

[Steerpike]

I'll take a different approach here. I don't agree with the criticism of Rowling, and I don't think you have to be any more accurate with respect to real-life native traditions than you want to be (which is to say, if your goal is to create a work that is extremely accurate with those traditions, then great; if your goal is to draw on the flavor of those traditions for a "fantasy" novel, that's fine too).

As creatives, we have the entirety of the human experience to draw on. It's all fair game to us, and the idea that something has to be accurate to real life in a fantasy world because it is drawn on something from the real world - well, that would leave us with very little to work with, since most of what we write is drawn in one way or another from the real world.

Recently, I read Kim Newman's Dracula, which was a lot of fun. The premise is that Dracula was not killed after the events of Stoker's novel, but ends up rising to power and marrying the queen of England. The people of England are dealing with the idea of vampires living openly, and not only that rising toward the top of society. In addition to many historical personages, the book includes Oscar Wilde, Mycroft Holmes, Dr. Jeckyll, and Dr. Moreau as characters. It is set in a time and place in England and has some historical accuracy, but it certainly isn't confined by it. If Mr. Newman took the approach that what he wrote was limited somehow by considerations of real English history, there would be no book.

You have to decide how realistic or true to the real world you want to be. That's your job as the author. No matter what you choose, there are going to be people who dislike the book for one reason or another. Again, if you desire, as the author, to dig deep into real native culture and have that represented in your book, that's great. It would make for a very interesting work. But you don't have to do that when you're writing a fantasy novel, and you shouldn't let people try to confine your writing by suggesting that you do​ have to do it.

 

[Devor]

We had a similar discussion recently.

http://mythicscribes.com/forums/writing-questions/16160-native-american-tropes-avoid.html

 

[AndrewLowe]

Thank you all for the comments Very helpful!

So a little bit of context that is missing from my original post. Liam is never actually introduced--he's killed before he ever has a single line of dialogue. I'm trying to hint that there are many NA persons within the coven, however neither Hillary nor Liam have any NA ancestry. I have plans to actually introduce some Drabha characters in a sequel, but for the time being, there isn't a whole lot of Native American imagery:

Even though the Coven exclusively worked with the ancient Native American rituals nurtured by a teleological connection to the moon, the Elders imparted an encircling regard for all of nature. That was the way of the Drabha from which the Coven had descended. Pacifism–or rather, a form of ascetic philosophy of non-Asiatic origin–had been the guiding principal of the Drabha before they were massacred. It was the duty of the Three Circles Coven to honor that intellectual tradition.​

Thoughts?

Thanks!

 

[ThinkerX]

To me, the concerns seem like PC run amok.

Tap into a areas magical tradition, you tap into its religion.

Butcher's 'Dresden' series has a secondary NA American character - a mage of substantial power. When that character appears or gets talked about, lots of NA mythology/religion gets at least hinted at, and sometimes expounded upon.

Likewise, no few of the magic systems that get discussed on this site are at least vaguely linked with real or fictional religions.