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How can I master Show don’t tell?

Show don’t tell. That’s one of the most famous technique. But I also know it’s one of the most difficult technique. I don’t talk about the boring “I see, I smell, etc.”. Of course, you can use it. However, it’s BORING to read!

So, how do I master it without this I-thing?


Bye,

Writer’s_Magic
 

Yora

Maester
Do not use sentences that tell readers that something is cool or scary. These are not things that are objectively present in the scene, but conclusions how readers are supposed to feel about things. And that's the problem. You can't tell an audience that they are supposed to feel something now. Instead you have to describe things that are actually there. Describe what characters do, how they act, or how they look. You can't have an "evil looking guy". You need to describe how he's dressed, what he's doing, and how he acts. Then the readers either make or don't make their own conclusion "that guy looks evil". If they don't, so be it. But don't tell them what they are supposed to feel when they are feeling something else.
 

CupofJoe

Myth Weaver
You can do the describing in clever ways. I like the bit in Lord of the Rings after meeting Strider for the first time, Sam says that an agent of the Enemy would "seem fairer and feel fouler". In five words Tolkien has let the reader know that Strider looks rough and untrustworthy but acts differently.
 
Yora Do you mean like this one:

Oh my gosh! The look of the monster freezes my veins. Its body is like dormouse meets Rottweiler’s mouth meets bodybuilder. The highlight is the red-glowing eyes. They look as if someone put two blood red LED-lamp where the eyes should be. And don’t forget mist in the same color.
 
You can't have an "evil looking guy"

This shouldn't be A problem in a more comedic story.
I can also imagine the following situation. Two friends from the same culture are talking and one of them is describing a stranger as "an evil looking guy." The culture in question have the believe that people who look a certain way are evil.
 

Demesnedenoir

Myth Weaver
The first step is being aware of it, and since all writing is telling... you have to figure out what the hell it means first, LOL. Once you get to that point, then practice writing showing a lot. Writing a million words of telling prose will not teach one how to show. And of course the BEST part is...

Once you master showing, then you master when to tell instead, heh heh. That might be (one of) the demarcation(s) between good and great storytelling.
 

Penpilot

Staff
Article Team
Well, for me, you first have to understand there are different levels to showing.

To me, it roughly breaks down like the following.

First, there's the sentence level. Instead of saying Bob was angry, you say Bob punched the wall.

Second, there's the scene level. Instead of saying Bob was a badass assassin, you construct the scene that shows Bob doing badass assassin.

Third, there's the story level. Stories have a messages/themes whether you want them to or not. And a story is a way to explore that messages/themes without conking your reader in the face. Instead of simply saying stealing is bad, you construct a story that shows/explores the reasons for stealing, the consequences, and draws conclusions, or not, depending on the story you're trying to tell.

Take a look at the stories you like and see if you can spot these levels within them. Then, take note of how these stories execute on these various levels.

Aside from this, as others have said. Write. Write. Write.
 

Yora

Maester
Another problem is when characters keep talking about how one person is either exceptionally awesome and horrible but the audience doesn't really agree with that conclusion based on what they see that person do in the story. Avoiding that from happening is a lot more difficult than the narration not drawing conclusions for the audience. The only thing I can think of to avoid this is to always keep this problem in mind and constantly look out for it.
 

Helen

Inkling
Show don’t tell. That’s one of the most famous technique. But I also know it’s one of the most difficult technique. I don’t talk about the boring “I see, I smell, etc.”. Of course, you can use it. However, it’s BORING to read!

So, how do I master it without this I-thing?


Bye,

Writer’s_Magic

Write it as “tell.”

Then go through it and convert what you can to “show.”

Just keep iterating through it. It gets easier.
 
I write mostly scripts so "show, don't tell" has been pretty much hammered into my brain from day one. So take this with a grain of salt as scriptwriting is all about visual language. Obviously in prose there's more freedom though I have to say, I usually enjoy visual prose more than long elaborate pages on how a character is feeling or what he's thinking about.
Learning about "show, don't tell" took a while and even a few years of practice to get it down. And I still fail at it from time to time.


Why? Because show, don't tell is hard. It's mastering the art of visual storytelling - if it were easy, everyone would write amazing scripts, prose, even poetry.

I look at it as a way of translation from the written word to visual writing. When I start a script, I write down the plot in simple one-liners. Then I try to expand on that in a form of a treatment. It's in this treatment that I have to make it visual. Look at it like you're a translator. If you write : Myrabeth can't stand the rules her father imposed on her. She didn't want to comply with his idea of how a woman should behave in the Northernlands.

That's not visual. At best, it's a representation pf a characters inner world. It's fine to write a sentence like that. But then ask yourself: how can I SHOW this instead of talking about it?
Does Myrabeth change her clothes when her father is gone? Does the father catch her shooting her bow&arrow and takes it away from her? How does Myrabeth's mother behave when her father is around vs. when they're alone? Are there specific areas in Myrabeth's village she never sees women go - the tavern, maybe? What if she would dare to go in there? What would happen?

Creating small scenes like this are great ways to show what you want to say.

To take it a bit further, you can also think about symbolism. If you want the reader or a character to feel anxious because a sinister plot point is about to happen, have some deadly and disgusting looking disease rattle the village. Or maybe there's a dead horse in front of the village's well, rotting away. Foreshadowing like that can feel the reader more connected to whatever dark emotions you're trying to convey!
 

Peat

Sage
"Show don't tell" as some kind of prescription for writing fiction, is nonsense. Mastering showing is one thing, but you also need to master when to show and when to tell. You don't just show all the time.

Among the many good points here, this is my favourite, possibly because it's not talked about so much. Me, I use a rule of thumb that says the more important something is, the more it needs to be shown. Telling is good for supporting details, but the important things need to be shown for best impact.
 

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
There is a quote often attributed to Chekhov which says, "Don't tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on broken glass." Whether he said it or not, I think it's a useful rule of thumb for determining whether one is showing or telling.
 

Chessie2

Staff
Article Team
The thing is, it's not always so obvious. It's easy for someone to say to you, "Show, don't tell." Ok...but how do you explain something so abstract? When I first heard this advice I tried showing everything: every thought, every movement, every step, every sigh...whatever. As I spent more time with my writing (and reading too) I started to understand that you can show character emotion and thought by using dialogue, setting, character motivation, subtext. Showing doesn't have to only be a blow by blow account of what's happening in a scene. What is it that you're trying to show? Emotion. Motivation. Achievement or failure of a goal. Change. It's a good idea to balance this out with scenes that allow characters and readers to reflect, which means you'll often need to tell. Telling is good when done properly--the first example I can think of is passage of time. Another is introspection/reflection. You'll have to figure out the balance by writing a lot.
 

skip.knox

toujours gai, archie
Moderator
My advice is: don't worry about it. Write. Write more. Get feedback. Improve.

At some point, someone--an editor, a beta reader--will underline a passage with the note "too much telling" or "show don't tell" or some such. I had one who just wrote "bbb" by which she meant "blah blah blah" by which she meant too much telling.

At that point--and not before--you will have some of your own words in front of you with the challenge of turning tell into show. Only then will it make sense to you. Only then will you be able to do something productive. Until that time, you'll get pages upon pages of advice which maybe will make sense or maybe it won't and maybe you'll be able to apply it and maybe you won't. You're certainly welcome to do that! It's not entirely wasted. But ultimately you'll need to work with the words you yourself have written, so why not start there?
 
I think it just comes down to writing like you’re someone who can’t read minds or make assumptions about the characters/setting, even if it’s from an objective god-like perspective.

If you’re you witnessing someone opening a door and running away, all you see is someone opening a door and running away. You do not make the assumption that he’s terrified or that he’s running from a monster. That information should be revealed to the reader when it physically happens through action.

If you’re ever worried that readers might be confused on what the character is feeling, then that might be a problem with the character or story. Writing the emotions directly will never help. If you’re characters are alright and they’re action and dialogue represents who they are, readers will be able to make the assumption.
 

Demesnedenoir

Myth Weaver
Dialogue is “show”... which often proves that showing can really, really suck, LOL. Screenwriting is the ultimate show don’t tell experience.
 
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