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Advice for my First Story

awildorange

New Member
Hey everybody! I'm new here and looking for advice because I'm writing the first chapter of my story which is an erotic novel about a threesome relationship between a girl, her step brother and his best friend. The girl is has a traumatized past, is seeking revenge towards her parents and is living with her father and the step brother. My question is if I should include in the story the fact that the girl( JADE) is having an alter ego and is talking with this imaginary friend in her head, later on she falls for her step brother and the alter ego falls for his best friend (kinda like in HP with Voldemort) . Also am I allowed to post here my first chapter for advice and grammar, spelling correction? Thanks for reading this and I highly appreciate your help!!
 

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
I'm going to recommend a couple other forums to you where you might get some more constructive and knowledgeable feedback.

The first is on the NaNoWriMo site, which will only be active for a little while longer for the season, but it's a great resource while we have it.
National Novel Writing Month

The second is the Erotica forum on Absolute Write, which is more diverse, genre-wise, than we are here on Scribes.
Erotica

Now, to the advice part. I see you've tagged this story as paranormal. What is it about the alter ego that is paranormal? Is it a ghost, a past life resurfacing, or something along those lines? There is nothing wrong with having a split personality emerge, but that can also be psychological, as you suggest by her traumatic past.
 

awildorange

New Member
Wow thanks so much for the links, they're very helpful. Also I included it in paranormal because I'm thinking to include vampires, or werewolves in the story later on. About the alter ego, it's just another person trapped in her body. My question is if I am complicating things too much, knowing that this is the first time I ever write something. Maybe I should start with a more simple story?
 

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
Ordinarily, I would say write the story you're called to write, no matter if it's your first or your twentieth. But you sound a little uncomfortable or nervous about your choice, here. Ask yourself why you want to have two personalities inhabiting this young lady? To me, it doesn't sound too complicated, but I'm also pretty experienced. Is this the story your heart is being called to write, or are you just writing it to see what you can accomplish? Both are valid reasons to write. The only person who can answer the question of whether or not this is too much is you. I would sit down and write, and see what happens. Strange things can come about just by doing, and writing is an adventure.
 

neodoering

Minstrel
Wow thanks so much for the links, they're very helpful. Also I included it in paranormal because I'm thinking to include vampires, or werewolves in the story later on. About the alter ego, it's just another person trapped in her body. My question is if I am complicating things too much, knowing that this is the first time I ever write something. Maybe I should start with a more simple story?
How do you write, from an outline or gung-ho off the cuff? I would never write a novel without a fairly dense outline. You have to know where you want to go, or the story is going to wander and peter out without satisfying the readers who plunked down their money for your book. Just my two cents.
 
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