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Often-used phrases?

Ireth

Myth Weaver
I've noticed that there are some phrases I tend to use quite often in various works of fiction. I'm not sure if that's just a matter of style, or if it's a bad thing that should be avoided. The example that caught my attention just now is "dread began to gnaw at the pit of her stomach." I've used variants of it several times elsewhere with a few different characters, often with fear in the place of dread. It makes sense for the character I use the phrase most often with, as he tends to get stomach ulcers when he's very stressed out (which is a lot), and so the gnawing is close to literal. But other times, like where it caught my eye now, it just seems like I'm not creative enough to portray a character being nervous. Any thoughts on this?
 

T.Allen.Smith

Staff
Moderator
It can be difficult at times to come up with new physical manifestations for feelings. Sometimes, I think we tend to rely on those that WE feel when faced with an emotion.

When I'm nervous I chew my fingernails. Not everyone does this so it's important to have a little perspective. Ask your family and friends how their body feels when they are nervous or watch a person's face when there upset or worried.... There's all kinds of physical cues out here. We just have to be observant enough to notice & astute enough to use them properly.
 

Ireth

Myth Weaver
Good advice, Allen. I often have trouble reading people's facial expressions and body language due to my Aspberger's, and in my writing I tend to go with what is normal for me -- in this case, feeling sick to my stomach when I'm stressed. I just feel like there could be a better way to describe the sensation, you know? Actually asking about others' feelings could turn out awkwardly, but I think it might help my writing.
 

Caged Maiden

Staff
Article Team
If all your characters react in a similar way to stimuli, whether nerves, confrontation, excitement, etc. it will read as one-dimensional. It's important to show characters experiencing things differently, and whether that is in your descriptions of their physical appearance or in their internal thoughts, it is important to mix it up.

That being said, unless your book is riddled with similar descriptions, I don't think it's something you need to worry too much about. I mean, when people feel things, there is no right or wrong, just believable and unbelievable. So I'm not sure whether the phrasing is your main concern or whether you just feel like you have a difficult time conveying the feeling in an effective way for each unique character.

Nervous, let's start there. I have no stomach feelings when I'm nervous or stressed. I might get edgy, my eyes might dart around. sometimes I get snippy or shout at my kids to get out of my way. I probably gesture more with my hands when I speak, usually in an angry way. But I would personally not describe it as anything having to do with my stomach. I grind my teeth, forget things I was doing, drum my fingers on the table, tap my feet, fidget with anything nearby. If someone makes me uncomfortable and is the source of my anxiety, I avert my eyes, try to look very focused on something else I'm doing, or sometimes, simply turn my back on them (rude, I know, but unfortunately true. Some people can't take a hint that they are making me uncomfortable. My husband is embarrassed to go car shopping with me for this very reason.)

SO there are loads of ways to show a manifestation of every feeling. Perhaps what you need to do is consider closely how each of your characters would really react. I'm no expert on psychology, but I'm a pretty keen observer of people, and what affects one person in one way might have completely the opposite effect on another.

Now as you mentioned, one character has a health condition which makes it all that much more likely that he suffers a particular reaction to stress. But I would think another character would experience things very differently. So rather than write their experience the same way, think about how else to describe it. How do you feel when you get stressed? Start there, write it out, then make it sound more concise and maybe that will help you through this issue.
 
I overuse "but" and "of course." I overuse people feeling anxiety or fear in their heart, stomach, and gut. I overuse people nodding, turning, and looking. :)
 

Caged Maiden

Staff
Article Team
AAK nodding. I had someone ask me if my character was a bobble-head doll. It opened my eyes to the things I do too often. But what else do you throw in when your character WOULD BE NODDING?

Yeah this is something that I'm sure most writers struggle with. It's human nature to be more self aware than aware of another person's reactions. Also, it's tedious to show all the physical symptoms of a feeling rather than use a sum-up phrase.
 

JonSnow

Troubadour
Expressing the emotions of being startled, shocked, stressed (heart skipping a beat, burning sensation in the stomach, etc) are difficult to do without using repetitive phrases. I get away from that by shortening my sentences and hastily describing the chaotic/startling action around the character, and hope the reader actually FEELS the jumped heart beat or the pit in their stomach. Then I don't have to say it over and over again. Does it work? I don't really know :) But if I don't try, I end up saying "heart leaped from his chest" every other chapter...which irritates me even more than it would irritate a reader.
 

Bear

Minstrel
I noticed in sci-fi, fantasy, and horror for that matter that fangs seem to be described alot. Usually, with some sort of saliva dripping from them. The creatures fangs glistened in the moonlight or some sort of derivative from that.
 

Penpilot

Staff
Article Team
All writers have their ticks. It's nice to be aware of them and to limit them, but don't avoid them. Read enough books by the same author and you'll notice certain words and phrases they just love to use.
 

Ireth

Myth Weaver
All writers have their ticks. It's nice to be aware of them and to limit them, but don't avoid them. Read enough books by the same author and you'll notice certain words and phrases they just love to use.

*obligatory Twilight reference* Dazzle, sparkle, perfect.

(Srsly though. The woman can come up with fifty different terms for "yellow", but she reuses those three words ad nauseum? Pffft.)
 
*obligatory Twilight reference* Dazzle, sparkle, perfect.

(Srsly though. The woman can come up with fifty different terms for "yellow", but she reuses those three words ad nauseum? Pffft.)

This is exactly why I don't read Twilight. I know that you can't judge a book you haven't read, but I only read based on recommendations...and people I respect very much say that Twilight sucks.

I recently caught myself in a word rut the other day...oozing and crusty. I mean, there are a lot of words to describe a wound but I kept going back to those two. Oh, and seeping. But that's a rough draft and I'll fix it eventually.

But you gotta admit...ooze, seep, crust...aren't those amazing words? They are a single syllable and yet they convey so much...they are rich in sound...

Sorry. Poet in me got a little carried away.
 
I overuse people speaking with asperity. I also overuse people smiling with the corners of their mouths, its something I intend to leave to the editing stage though, as correcting it at the time would slow the pace of my writing too much.
 
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