Different characters sharing the paragraph

[The Din]

Just wondering what the writer can get away with in terms of shifting focus in a paragraph, specially when dialogue is involved.

Example: Bob scratched the back of the dog's elongated head. 'You're a good boy, yes you are.' The dog whined and tried to share his fowl smelling slobber with Bob. 'You wanna go kill the neighbor's cat, do you? Come on, I'll break it's back legs and you do the rest.' The dog barked his concurrence and together they set off on the hunt.

Now, I know the general rule is to start a new line whenever shifting focus, but that would turn this concise paragraph into four. So my question is: Can you get away with squeezing a few (non-dialogue) character reactions into a single paragraph as long as the speaker is still discernible?

I've seen a lot of the big writers do this (the one that springs to mind is Joe Abercrombie) so I know it's possible. Whether it's a good habit to get into is another matter.

 

[Steerpike]

I think you can do it. There is a Virginia Woolf story where she switches POV mid paragraph, and this is between human characters. It is well done. Your paragraph doesn't bother me at all. You can do what you want, just do it well.

 

[BWFoster78]

I think your paragraph is okay as long as the dog doesn't have the ability to talk (this is fantasy, after all). If you dog could talk, confusion would be created about who the speaker is.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

I think this paragraph works fine because, ultimately, the character is interpreting the dog's actions during his own dialogue.

I agree with BWF that if there's 2 characters talking it'd be trickier and something I'd avoid. Doesn't mean it can't be done though.

Steerpike: count me impressed. You always have such fabulous literary examples. This one's pretty obscure of a topic but you still came thru.

 

[Steerpike]

Steerpike: count me impressed. You always have such fabulous literary examples. This one's pretty obscure of a topic but you still came thru.

It would be nice if I could actually remember the story, because I could probably post an example of the paragraph where she does the POV transition. It is nicely done.

 

[Helleaven]

I think the paragraph works just fine.

Bob does something and then says something to his dog. The dog does something which affects Bob, so Bob continues to talk with his dog. The focal point is still Bob and his reactions to his dog.

I agree with BWFoster78.

 

[Penpilot]

The paragraph is fine. I think maybe you're confusing what's meant by focus. To me, focus is about the what the POV character's focus is at right at that moment. In the example paragraph the POV character, Bob, is focusing on the dog. Now if he changed is focus to a pretty woman walking by, you'd probably want a new paragraph. Of course I'm willing to be convinced other wise, because really, I go by feel.

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

No it's fine as far as I can see. If you actually changed point of view so that we didn't see what the dog dead but rather were inside its head wondering at what the silly human was saying, that'd have to be a new paragraph.

Cheers, Greg.

 

[Donny Bruso]

The paragraph that you've provided here works fine from my perspective. The things the dog is doing, whining and rubbing against Bob, can be interpreted through Bob's eyes, and the paragraph is all about his interaction with the dog. I don't see that as a shift of focus. But really it's a question of style, and how you choose to write. As long as it doesn't confuse the reader, style is pretty much a wide open field of opportunity.

 

[JonSnow]

The paragraph that you've provided here works fine from my perspective. The things the dog is doing, whining and rubbing against Bob, can be interpreted through Bob's eyes, and the paragraph is all about his interaction with the dog. I don't see that as a shift of focus. But really it's a question of style, and how you choose to write. As long as it doesn't confuse the reader, style is pretty much a wide open field of opportunity.

This is the key, right here. Confusing the reader. Though I would never do this myself (I would have put the dog barking and slobbering each in new paragraphs), I agree with everyone else in here, in that your particular example works. Just be really careful with it...The last thing you want is for your reader to have to stop and re-read the paragraph because they got confused about who said/did what. This works because the particular actions of the two characters were different enough not to make the reader re-think it.