I have often been asked the question, "how do you draw so good." I usually just tell people that I just do it, I don't know how. In reality I think I am good at drawing, and sculpting now, is because I strive for it to be perfect. I will sit down for eight hours straight without getting up reworking a single line until it is perfect or the smallest shadows of the smallest imperfection on the skin. I know no one else can see it, but I can. I can see every single minute flaw in my drawings, where a line isn't quite right, the shading is just a little to dark or too light. Shades of black and white stare, mocking me for my presumption that I can capture reality with the tip of a pencil or blade of a chisel. For that is what I seek, not to just make a portrayal of life but to bring life to a sheet of paper or a block of stone. I reach for the stars knowing it a fools errand yet I know no other way.
Now I find this to be a curse when I write. Over and over again I will rewrite aspects of the plot, character details, history, cultural details, scenes, even notes. I can make no headway with anything. I sit down to write and realize I need to fill in the details for one place or another or rethink some plot aspect. This means I have to go back, look at the map figure out everything from economics, culture, language differences, hostilities, the language, architecture, familial relations, politics everything. Then when I sit down to start doing that I realize that I have to then go back and fix other small details for something else related. Right now I am redoing my map, I don't like it there are aspects that don't quite work with the story and I don't like it. I want to create a world that is real. How can I even start writing when I have yet to work out the details of the setting. The story I have in my mind is set on an epic scale covering an area the size of the Roman Empire at it's peak. I have it all there in my head, yet I cannot seem to get it on screen.
I know, I am the person talked about when people say if you spend too much time world building, plot construction, etc, you will never get to writing the story. Yet I don't know any other way to do it. To me it is like when I draw. I draw an oval for the shape of the face, then two lines that divide the oval into fourths, from there the eyes, nose, mouth, and other major details of the face. Slowly I add more and more details. For me this is the same as world building, I start large then work smaller. Lastly comes the shadows, writing the story, because this is where the subtleties of emotion can be drawn out. All those starting lines are no longer visible yet they were important to get to the end product.
It's driving me CRAZY. I've tried just writing and it was awful, bland, without character or substance. It lacked depth and direction. This is worse however. The more I work on one aspect the more I see how I need to work on everything else. This is one reason why I like the Dramatic theory, it provides a direction, an anchor point if you will. I'm drowning in details that create the need for more details. I have over 200 pages of notes, world building, maps, character sheets, and history. I feel I haven't even scratched the surface of what I need to do justice to the story I have in my mind. The more I think and work the more it evolves. I've gotten to a point I don't care anymore. And this is all beside that fact that I need to work on the most basic aspect of this all. The quality of my writing, as has been pointed out here.
I need advice, I don't know how to continue or if I can continue like this. I'm past the point of overwhelmed. Last night I stared at the screen for an hour and was unable to do anything.
I don't know why I wrote this save to express my frustration and to hope that maybe I am not alone.
Now I find this to be a curse when I write. Over and over again I will rewrite aspects of the plot, character details, history, cultural details, scenes, even notes. I can make no headway with anything. I sit down to write and realize I need to fill in the details for one place or another or rethink some plot aspect. This means I have to go back, look at the map figure out everything from economics, culture, language differences, hostilities, the language, architecture, familial relations, politics everything. Then when I sit down to start doing that I realize that I have to then go back and fix other small details for something else related. Right now I am redoing my map, I don't like it there are aspects that don't quite work with the story and I don't like it. I want to create a world that is real. How can I even start writing when I have yet to work out the details of the setting. The story I have in my mind is set on an epic scale covering an area the size of the Roman Empire at it's peak. I have it all there in my head, yet I cannot seem to get it on screen.
I know, I am the person talked about when people say if you spend too much time world building, plot construction, etc, you will never get to writing the story. Yet I don't know any other way to do it. To me it is like when I draw. I draw an oval for the shape of the face, then two lines that divide the oval into fourths, from there the eyes, nose, mouth, and other major details of the face. Slowly I add more and more details. For me this is the same as world building, I start large then work smaller. Lastly comes the shadows, writing the story, because this is where the subtleties of emotion can be drawn out. All those starting lines are no longer visible yet they were important to get to the end product.
It's driving me CRAZY. I've tried just writing and it was awful, bland, without character or substance. It lacked depth and direction. This is worse however. The more I work on one aspect the more I see how I need to work on everything else. This is one reason why I like the Dramatic theory, it provides a direction, an anchor point if you will. I'm drowning in details that create the need for more details. I have over 200 pages of notes, world building, maps, character sheets, and history. I feel I haven't even scratched the surface of what I need to do justice to the story I have in my mind. The more I think and work the more it evolves. I've gotten to a point I don't care anymore. And this is all beside that fact that I need to work on the most basic aspect of this all. The quality of my writing, as has been pointed out here.
I need advice, I don't know how to continue or if I can continue like this. I'm past the point of overwhelmed. Last night I stared at the screen for an hour and was unable to do anything.
I don't know why I wrote this save to express my frustration and to hope that maybe I am not alone.