I think this focus on gender can lead to a incorrect way of thinking about characters. IMHO writers should ask Is this what my character would do? instead of asking Is this what my female character would do? There's a subtle but significant difference. You said it yourself above. Any trait can be found in either gender, so if you want to write a woman with a masculine way of thinking, it's fine. OR if you want to write a male with feminine traits that's fine too. As long as you're true and honest to the character you defined, nobody can say either is wrong.
This is exactly right.