Characterization Through Prose Style

[T.Allen.Smith]

I just finished reading Joe Abercrombie's "Best Served Cold".

While reading, I noticed the prose style for one of the characters is significantly different from other POVs. The character Morveer (a professional poisoner) has a very condescending, smug attitude. He falsely thinks he's smarter than everyone, belittles people, and treats others with contempt.

In all of his POV scenes, the prose is written with longer phrasings, more complex words, and unusual comparisons. It helps to create a tone that drips with self-indulgent superiority. Now, I think we all do this on some level when writing from a particular POV. However, the level of detail Abercrombie excersised in choosing words and phrasings that Morveer would use (and not the author), in addition to his actions & dialogue, really helped to pull the character together. I'm specifically referencing the narration...not dialogue.

Has anyone written characters, purposefully branching away from their normal writing style to further expand on character?

If you've read the book (or similar scenario), I'd like comments on its effectiveness for you as a reader as well.

 

[Steerpike]

I'll sometimes do this when I switch POV, if I'm using POVs that are very tight with respect to the characters. It seems to make the POV more natural to my ear. I think you're absolutely right with respect to BSC - Abercrombie used the technique to great effect. Excellent book.

 

[Zero Angel]

I use this in multi-POV stories somewhat (although I can't claim effectively). One thing I have been getting in the habit of doing is introduce major characters in new books with a short story where they get to be the only protagonist. This really helps (for me) to develop their narrative voice. In Book 2 of WotA, this is most noticeable with the "vampire" character. His parts in the book scream figurative language and frenetic details.

 

[BWFoster78]

I love doing subtle things like you mentioned. For example:

One character refers to authority figures just by their last names in his mind instead of their titles. From his POV, its Asher and Flynn instead of Duke Asher and General Flynn.

I have one of my characters think of her father as "daddy" but always refer to him as "father" in dialogue.

I express that one of my characters doesn't like another by having him always think/refer to her by her name while everybody else uses her nickname.

I'm not sure if this addresses your point or not...

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

I love doing subtle things like you mentioned. For example:

One character refers to authority figures just by their last names in his mind instead of their titles. From his POV, its Asher and Flynn instead of Duke Asher and General Flynn.

I have one of my characters think of her father as "daddy" but always refer to him as "father" in dialogue.

I express that one of my characters doesn't like another by having him always think/refer to her by her name while everybody else uses her nickname.

I'm not sure if this addresses your point or not...

Similar in nature. However, I'm referring mainly to large scenes, or even entire chapters, where every word of the narration is written as if penned by the POV character himself (not the authors words).

In the work I referred to above, it did wonders for making that character very distinct from the others. Can't say I noticed as great a distinction among the other POVs in the book and often I find that POVs are all written in a similar narrative tone.... Not so in the case of Morveer.

If you haven't read it, I highly recommend the book. Great story and an interesting craft study that you'll enjoy.

 

[Shaun b.]

I think the POV and chapters of Morveer are so rich due to the character himself. That and the amount of work and thinking that Mr. Abbercrombie has put into creating him and his peculiar personality. I do believe that Abbercrombie has some experience in psychology on a professional level, although I may be wrong.

If this is not the case then I have no idea how he could get so involved with a character, or how he could manage to give the character such a detailed and colourful voice.

Abbercrombie does this with a fair few of his characters, all of them to some extent. I've never been so sad to see someone get their just-deserves as I am when I see one of his POV characters goes 'back to the mud'.

I'm not sure if you have read any more of his books, I assume you have (If you have not I recommend them all), he goes into some depth with most of his POV characters. I know you were talking specifically about that one character (Morveer) in the one novel, however I think the others just take a little longer to come out, as in the case of Gorst.

I hope I can write half as well, one day...

 

[BWFoster78]

Similar in nature. However, I'm referring mainly to large scenes, or even entire chapters, where every word of the narration is written as if penned by the POV character himself (not the authors words).

In the work I referred to above, it did wonders for making that character very distinct from the others. Can't say I noticed as great a distinction among the other POVs in the book and often I find that POVs are all written in a similar narrative tone.... Not so in the case of Morveer.

If you haven't read it, I highly recommend the book. Great story and an interesting craft study that you'll enjoy.

I haven't tried that, and I'm not sure that I will. In a way, I get what it's trying to accomplish and the "neatness" factor. On the other hand, it seems like this draws attention to the writing and away from the story. It certainly seems like it pulled you out of the story enough to notice the writing.

 

[Steerpike]

On the other hand, it seems like this draws attention to the writing and away from the story. It certainly seems like it pulled you out of the story enough to notice the writing.

No, it doesn't. It just makes you realize things are being filtered through a character who sees the world quite differently. I didn't feel as though it drew the reader out of the story; instead, it enhanced the story and made it seem more authentic. It doesn't pull you out any more than two characters with different speech patterns in a movie pull you out of the movie. When the Godfather speaks, in his characteristic way, with the words he chooses, you aren't pulled from the story saying "oh wow the screenwriters really changed up the flow of dialogue for this guy." Instead, you're pulled more into the story because the speech is authentic and distinctive.

 

[BWFoster78]

No, it doesn't. It just makes you realize things are being filtered through a character who sees the world quite differently. I didn't feel as though it drew the reader out of the story; instead, it enhanced the story and made it seem more authentic. It doesn't pull you out any more than two characters with different speech patterns in a movie pull you out of the movie. When the Godfather speaks, in his characteristic way, with the words he chooses, you aren't pulled from the story saying "oh wow the screenwriters really changed up the flow of dialogue for this guy." Instead, you're pulled more into the story because the speech is authentic and distinctive.

This is an old disagreement between us. I don't think either of us is likely to convince the other.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

Brian, while I understand your point, and agree that in almost all cases, readers noticing the writing is a bad thing, I think you'd have to read the book to grasp the difference.

Steerpike is correct in saying that this technique enhanced the story and character. I only noticed because I searched for it, not because it leapt out at me during reading. I did notice the character's rich feel compared to the others which made me ask...why?

Abercrombie handles it in such a way that it isn't distracting in the least. However, you make an excellent point. I think you're absolutely right that we should exercise caution with writing like this. Getting the right balance between characterized narration that reads naturally and overwriting is, I'm sure, very difficult.

 

[Steerpike]

One of the most important skills a developing writer can have it to retain the ability to read like a reader, when necessary, and not only to read like a writer. I've recommended BSC to quite a few people, and so far everyone has liked it. I suspect that out of those people, not a single one consciously noted the change in language and voice for Morveer. What I suspect they all did notice was that the character really seemed to come alive and to be well done in the story.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

One of the most important skills a developing writer can have it to retain the ability to read like a reader, when necessary, and not only to read like a writer. I've recommended BSC to quite a few people, and so far everyone has liked it. I suspect that out of those people, not a single one consciously noted the change in language and voice for Morveer. What I suspect they all did notice was that the character really seemed to come alive and to be well done in the story.

Agreed. Further, a skill we should develop is the ability to discover why certain story elements fascinated us as a reader (after story completion). Questioning why you love a character so much, or a plot point, or the dialogue, etc. and then going back over the work to pick out the methods used, can yield some great techniques. Whether or not they fit with your writing style is another matter but I'd rather be aware of all concepts and have them at my fingertips if needed.

 

[BWFoster78]

Brian, while I understand your point, and agree that in almost all cases, readers noticing the writing is a bad thing, I think you'd have to read the book to grasp the difference.

Steerpike is correct in saying that this technique enhanced the story and character. I only noticed because I searched for it, not because it leapt out at me during reading. I did notice the character's rich feel compared to the others which made me ask...why?

Abercrombie handles it in such a way that it isn't distracting in the least. However, you make an excellent point. I think you're absolutely right that we should exercise caution with writing like this. Getting the right balance between characterized narration that reads naturally and overwriting is, I'm sure, very difficult.

The first rule of writing: If it works, do it.

I haven't, to the best of my recollection, read Abercrombie and definitely not the book in question. I'm assuming we're talking 3rd person, here. It's hard to imagine me, at my present skill level anyway, trying something like you describe and being able to pull it off without seriously creating an author intrusion situation.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

Precisely why I brought it to the forums. I'm not certain I could pull it off & wondered if anyone in the community has tried it themselves.

I'm definitely going to experiment with it a bit though.

 

[Steerpike]

Precisely why I brought it to the forums. I'm not certain I could pull it off & wondered if anyone in the community has tried it themselves.

I'm definitely going to experiment with it a bit though.

What I find is that this can work if you as the author can truly put yourself in the head of the character, so that you take on that voice and the words flow naturally from the pen. It does take an adjustment in the mind of the writer, in my view. If you're forcing the different voice in order to try to achieve the effect, that's when you're likely to end up with something that will pull the reader out, because if the words are stilted or don't flow naturally, the reader is going to follow the same course when reading those words.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

What I find is that this can work if you as the author can truly put yourself in the head of the character, so that you take on that voice and the words flow naturally from the pen. It does take an adjustment in the mind of the writer, in my view. If you're forcing the different voice in order to try to achieve the effect, that's when you're likely to end up with something that will pull the reader out, because if the words are stilted or don't flow naturally, the reader is going to follow the same course when reading those words.

Makes sense. That's what I'd been thinking...sort of like method acting for writers (or at least that's how I imagined I'd make an attempt).

I still haven't tried it yet though.

 

[Jamber]

Some crime novels move between POV of the murderer and the detective (and/or victims). When they change POV the whole voice -- language, tone, sentence structure and rhythm, rhetoric -- often changes dramatically, e.g. emphasising clinical methodology with the murderer (painstaking, plodding, dot-by-dot, with little emotionalism) vs the detective's voice of humanity (a combination of gut instinct, social nous and reason).

Would this be the same technique?

cheers
Jennie

 

[Steerpike]

Some crime novels move between POV of the murderer and the detective (and/or victims). When they change POV the whole voice -- language, tone, sentence structure and rhythm, rhetoric -- often changes dramatically, e.g. emphasising clinical methodology with the murderer (painstaking, plodding, dot-by-dot, with little emotionalism) vs the detective's voice of humanity (a combination of gut instinct, social nous and reason).

Would this be the same technique?

cheers
Jennie

Yes. I think you might see it more in those kinds of novels than in fantasy novels, for some reason. Some thriller/crime writers are very good at it. Also, I find it occurs in horror novels. You know who is good at this? Stephen King. He may have a number of viewpoint characters in a given novel, between various protagonists and the bad guys, and they'll each have a distinctiveness about their "voice" when he's in that point of view. Probably one reason people say he does characters so well.

 

[Penpilot]

Precisely why I brought it to the forums. I'm not certain I could pull it off & wondered if anyone in the community has tried it themselves.

I'm definitely going to experiment with it a bit though.

Actually, this is my primary approach when I write. I shrug a character on like a jacket so word selection in narrative is filtered through character. This can be really great when you grasp the character, but finding the character's voice, that's the tough part, along with remaining consistent. If I have trouble finding the essence of that character for a scene, things won't ring quite true. And I rarely get the character voice right on the first try.

One of the things I've learned in regards to myself is don't lay it on too thick. One characteristic word choice or metaphor can cast a large shadow. Too many of them and it's like reading tar.