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Adding in some action to the first chapter...

ARGH! Hair pulling time again. I've got some written on the first chapter. So far it acquaints the reader with the type of town, superstitions of the town, hints about a past tragedy, begins to show what type of person my MC is. Also acquaints reader with a kindly old man from town, showing what type of folks live in the town. Skipped all those dumb minute details about clothes and hair color. (Those annoy me, so many writers can't just say he crossed his ankles, they have to say he crossed one Prada shoe over the other. I don't particularly care about the brand of shoe...lol. sorry, ranting)
I just feel like something is missing. I want to add in a little bit of action, nothing big, but something to tell readers that my book is worth reading. That there will be some really great parts to it. Know what I mean?

How do you pick that perfect thing to round out your chapters? The first chapter is Oh So Important.

(I know that the grammar and punctuation in this post sucks. I'm feeding a one year old lunch and typing at the same time. Forgive me this one. I'll do better next time. :D )
 
I know that when I'm reading, something has to be apparent right from chapter 1 (or a cool prologue) to really pull me into the book - I don't read because I want to hear about a nice town, no matter how well developed.

on that note, you might want to have the hints about the past tragedy be apparent, but a total lockdown of information - it sounds like a nice carrot to draw those readers in, and you won't need an epic rewrite to fit in some action (which would make your first chapter crowded, not complete)
 
There really aren't too many details about the town. Three sentences total I think, but enough that you get a feel for it. The only reason I made sure to acquaint with what type of people and the superstitions is because it will play a part later on. I don't want to add a BIG action bit, no fights or things like that. What is mean is more like something to make it apparent that there is more going on with her past and the townspeople than she knows...

Maybe I could do a little scene where it's not Shayla's POV but a townsperson, watching old Earl drive her to her new home, saying something all cryptic...I don't know. I have a whole document with reader catching things to go in LATER, but this first chapter is killing me!
 

balthore

Scribe
How long is your chapter right now? And if you want I can take a look at it and see if I can't come up with something. I'm pretty good at finding ways to add in angst to a story. :)
 
I've actually come up with a great idea for a prologue. If you'd still like to take a look at it, give me a little time to finish writing it, and I'd love to send it in a message and see what you think? The idea I've got won't reveal too much information, but it will be attention getting I think. What do you say?
 

Waltershores

Dreamer
I'm with you on the excessive descriptions in novels. I prefer just a little bit of description, it allows me to use my imagination for the remainder. What fun is it if everything is laid out for you?

In regards to action, how about a chase, a fight, a battle, some strange observed ritual, a game, bullying, hunting, a fire. Just some ideas to get your juices flowing. Hope one of those can merge well into your writing. Good Luck!!
 
Okie dokie! I'm going to suck up my nervousness and post the prologue I've written in showcase....Ya'll go look at it and tell me what you think?
 
Action can make a good hook, but the best one is just having an interesting character. The best example I've seen of this recently was actually here on the forum. Joe the Gnarled spit out three lines about a character, and that was enough to hook me and make me want to know more.

Jane calmly released her bowstring. As the shaft entered the intruders left shoulder she asked, "How is your wife these days?"

Fixated on the growing red stain on the man's shirt I stammered, "She... I... She is good."

I choked back vomit as the second arrow impaled his throat. “Does she still bake those delicious cookies?”

Obviously Jane is a deeply screwed up person, talking about cookies while shooting a man through the throat, but that's what makes her fascinating. Or at least it does to me. It's just so bizarre that it makes you want to see just how badass she is, and how she got to be that way.
 
*Wipes a tear from the corner of his eye*
Well, thank you Donny. I was about to go try to find DianthasProphecy's post in Showcase. Off the top of my head (and remember this is before I have read your post in Showcase) I would suggest making sure you are showing and not telling. Meaning tell me about your town by showing me how your characters walk through said town.

You could say:
The town was dirty and rundown. People were moving to the bigger city.

Or, you could say:
Wielding a stick Bella attempted to scrape manure off her left boot and was almost trampled by a horse drawn buggy. She jumped one legged and landed on a sack of moldy grain. Curses flew from her lips, but they were not directed at the buggy. They were just another family leaving for the city, and who could blame them?
 

CicadaGrrl

Troubadour
Character is what hooks me in a first chapter. As a writer, I generally slam in a major event by page ten. That wasn't really designed, it just keeps happening. I tend to hit the narrating character hard, touch on any major shit the reader will be REALLY lost without in order to get to my factor that ignites the book. Character. Ignition. People don't even really have to understand most of the basics of your world, whatever, whatever until the book has started to move and you have a slight lull in the breakneck to steep in the world, more about the character, etc. Total personal bias and I haven't read it: Ditch the prologue. They are cheep. You ought to be able to get everything you need said, and say it eloquently, starting with chapter one and your character.
 

JustSpiffy

Minstrel
It might be good to allude to something beneath the surface of the story, give the reader something to look forward too. I think every chapter in a story should have that. Maybe your main character is planning to go on a trip? Maybe there's been whisperings about the town about some underground organization? Maybe the old man suddenly begins acting erratically, like something's bothering him?

It's a great idea to always, always give the reader a reason to want to keep reading, if you resolve one add a few more into the mix to keep things going. Books that do this really make me excited to pick them up again at the end of the day.
 

Amanita

Maester
I'm not a big fan of action scenes at the very beginning of a story. I don't know the protagonist yet and I've often stumbled over stories where the character fighting for his life or even being killed in the first chapter wasn't the protagonist at all but only some unimportant minor character. This was one of the things that kept me from continuing "A Game of Thrones". Spoiler for chapter one:

We get the prologue through the eyes of one character and in the first chapter the supposed protagonist is executing him. That wasn't really a way to make me like this character, especially because I didn't understand why the "crime" the minor character has comitted was supposed to be worthy of death at this point.


Post continued:
My favourite kind of beginning shows the main character in some seemingly ordinary situation that introduces the setting but there are hints that something is wrong or that something is going to change soon. This is the kind of thing that keeps me interested and makes me want to find out more. Battling random monsters or enemies doesn't tend to do that.
Many people here disagree but for me it also works if this feeling is caused by a prologue which shows some important event that happend earlier and the real beginning is really everyday at first.
 
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