Adding to your story to make it better - Good or bad?

[Twook00]

I have a scene that's pretty bland. It's not far into the story, so I worry that a reader will get to it and stop reading. The scene itself is crucial (or so I think), so my initial thought was to cut it down as much as possible and get it over with quickly.

Now, I'm thinking I can make the scene more interesting, but this would require adding to it (like 4 or 5 paragraphs) which makes it, and my story, longer.

Anyone have thoughts on this?

 

[kayd_mon]

Four to five paragraphs isn't much, unless you're talking about a very short story.

 

[Abbas-Al-Morim]

Unless you want to keep your story short for a good reason (e.g. it will get published easier) you shouldn't worry. And even then, 4-5 paragraphs isn't worth the hassle. It won't make a difference for publishers (though lots and lots of unnecessary paragraphs would) and if it makes the scene more interesting, the readers will prefer the longer version.

 

[saellys]

As long as it makes your story better, it's not bad. I don't care about the length of a story, as long as it's compelling and I understand what's going on.

 

[Guru Coyote]

I'd say, find out why it is 'boring' as it is. Sometimes you can add some conflict by just adding a few words. It is not in the number of words, but what they say

One thing I would try: see if you can merge this scene with some info/conflict that you have planned for another scene. I'd need to know more about the story to suggest anything, though.

 

[Twook00]

I'd say, find out why it is 'boring' as it is. Sometimes you can add some conflict by just adding a few words. It is not in the number of words, but what they say

That's really what gave me the idea. There's currently a short lull, which isn't always bad, but in this story I think it is. The idea was to spice it up a bit by adding tension to the beginning of the scene rather than having the character suddenly run blindly into it at the end of the scene.

The result is a few extra paragraphs, but I think they will read quickly if I do it right.

Side note: It is a short story, so five paragraphs is really a big chunk of the scene.

Great tips. Thanks everyone!

 

[Xaysai]

As long as it makes your story better, it's not bad. I don't care about the length of a story, as long as it's compelling and I understand what's going on.

This!

(...and a few more characters to make the minimum character limit!)

 

[wordwalker]

Actually, I've found that adding a few paragraphs isn't usually the best way to strengthen a scene-- compared to adding the right handful of sentences or smaller bits laced into the rest. Yes, a single chunk of text can add a new twist, or give the scene more to build up from or run longer. But more often the scene already has what it needs in theory, just not as much in practice, so I dig into how it's built and look for things like

• what reasons do the characters have to not do what they're doing, and where can I show that they almost don't?
• is the description really playing off the action/mood? can I build a sense of the rain always being there and getting more and more annoying, or the shadows more ominous or someone's hands clenching harder and harder on whatever they're carrying?

It's more work because it's inserting several "dots" that should connect at the same time that everything else happens. But I think it's worth it.

 

[Guru Coyote]

Actually, I've found that adding a few paragraphs isn't usually the best way to strengthen a scene-- compared to adding the right handful of sentences or smaller bits laced into the rest. Yes, a single chunk of text can add a new twist, or give the scene more to build up from or run longer. But more often the scene already has what it needs in theory, just not as much in practice, so I dig into how it's built and look for things like

• what reasons do the characters have to not do what they're doing, and where can I show that they almost don't?
• is the description really playing off the action/mood? can I build a sense of the rain always being there and getting more and more annoying, or the shadows more ominous or someone's hands clenching harder and harder on whatever they're carrying?

It's more work because it's inserting several "dots" that should connect at the same time that everything else happens. But I think it's worth it.

This might not be completely what word walker meant, but I just thought: sometimes it is not the scene itself that is "too weak," it just lacks the right context. Something a character says in a 'slow' scene might take on a very different level of tension when we know a few other details from the rest of the story.

Paraphrasing from Dune: the sentence "May your water flow freely" sound like a wish of goodwill. But it makes a ton of a different sense with all we know about the Fremen from the rest of the book.

 

[JSDR]

I am a big fan of cutting things *out* to achieve effects in a story. That being said, I do agree that there are some instances where *expanding* a scene may add something.

However, what concerns me is your admitting the scene is pretty bland. Rather than add to that specific moment, I'll suggest backtracking a little bit and see if you can *foreshadow* the scene's importance.

It's like... going out to a restaurant, sitting down in a bland room, starting in on a bland appetizer.
What if beforehand, your friend said "Ohmegerd, dude, this place is like, totes gonna blow your mind." (Or however your friends talk.)
And the whole week leading up to the dinner, your friend tells you how great it's gonna be, how sumptuous the ambiance, how delectable the fare. You'd have certain expectations growing.
That's what you can do with the reader. Hint at what might come, build their expectations, then over-deliver or completely give them the opposite.

 

[Mythopoet]

Why do you think it is bland? Why do you think it is crucial? Nothing that is boring is crucial to a story.

There is no "good or bad" when it comes to storytelling. There is only what is right for the particular story you are telling.

 

[Twook00]

The scene is bland in that it is not being executed to its full potential. It's okay as is, but there's no real conflict or sense of something to come. You, the reader, know that SOMETHING is bound to happen, but there's nothing really hinting at it.

Maybe some context will help:
Scene 1 - Character arrives at a place where there SHOULD be a village and an inn, but both are gone. In their place is a mysterious wood. The character doesn't know why the wood is there, or what happened to the village. He has two options: I can go around the wood (slow but safe) or I can go through (quick but potentially dangerous).

He chooses the latter.

Scene 2 (where I feel it may be bland) - For about 1.5 pages, he is walking through the wood. It's dark and the tone is spooky and sinister. I introduce a bit of backstory, then BAM!, a branch from one of the trees darts out and grabs him.

As it stands, this may be enough to keep people's interest. Personally, I think it could be made better, but I worry that I'm just overthinking it.

If you'd like, you can read the first few pages.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/t79e9fdg2j2xwtt/Wil%20and%20the%20Wood%20p%201.doc

 

[saellys]

First of all, this is great.

Secondly, I think the scene in question would be less bland without the backstory. I already knew everything in it: Wil was a barber by trade bound for the City of Songs in search of a more adventurous life. That's fat you can trim. Otherwise this scene kept me in suspense, so I think you're on the right (har har) path.

 

[Twook00]

I didn't realize it before, but you are totally right. Thanks for the help!

 

[Addison]

I recently read something that's been proven effected. Instead of adding to a scene, examine and mull over the scene until it grows and adds to itself. Find everything you can from that scene, let it add to you.

 

[saellys]

I recently read something that's been proven effected. Instead of adding to a scene, examine and mull over the scene until it grows and adds to itself. Find everything you can from that scene, let it add to you.

This is really vaguely worded, but it sounds similar to what I try to do before I write: figure out exactly what I want the scene to accomplish. Usually this is manifested in a paragraph or two of description of what the scene will cover, and how it will move the story forward (and every scene should). I also try to figure out what facets of my characters I want to highlight and explore in the context of a given scene. When I do this, I never feel like I hit a lull or a particular passage is too slow. Set your goals for each scene and refer to them as you write--they'll act as a map (one more useful than Map, anyway!) and never steer you wrong.