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Any of your stories tackle bullying and how did you handle it?

BearBear

Archmage
One of mine did and I struggled with the god-like powers of a writer to come up with a fair solution and ultimately wasn't satisfied.

A realistic approach left me feeling slighted, an over the top "home alone" approach didn't feel as fun in the end.

I tried to have empathy for the bully too and... bah.

What did you do?
 

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
"Hurt people hurt people." It's not an excuse, but it is a reason. We have bits of bullying here and there, from peers, from adults to adults, and from parents against their children both young and grown. Our characters deal with it in various ways, depending on their experiences and their story arcs. Alcohol is often involved, but I never said our characters made good choices. Sometimes the bully comes to a bad end, and sometimes not. That's just realistic.

If I was having trouble writing a bullying storyline, I would ask myself why I needed to tackle this subject. It can frustrate, retraumatize, and alienate the reader if not handled carefully. So, I know you write mostly for yourself. What are you trying to explore, here?
 

Queshire

Auror
I haven't tackled it properly, but I have used it for some popcorn conflict. Ya know, set up the arrogant young master as a bully then have the protagonist smack them down. It's not deep, but it's not meant to be.
 

BearBear

Archmage
"Hurt people hurt people." It's not an excuse, but it is a reason. We have bits of bullying here and there, from peers, from adults to adults, and from parents against their children both young and grown. Our characters deal with it in various ways, depending on their experiences and their story arcs. Alcohol is often involved, but I never said our characters made good choices. Sometimes the bully comes to a bad end, and sometimes not. That's just realistic.

If I was having trouble writing a bullying storyline, I would ask myself why I needed to tackle this subject. It can frustrate, retraumatize, and alienate the reader if not handled carefully. So, I know you write mostly for yourself. What are you trying to explore, here?

Here's another aspect of that, not all bullies ever were actually hurt, in that they have verifyable "good upbringing" no abuse, nothing out of the ordinary to speak of, they just liked to bully. They liked the power, they liked the sadistic nature of it, or they liked the control or other. So in these individuals, they're just not being discouraged enough not to do it. You could snowflake up the game and say they're not being nurtured enough for them or it's a disease or it's an addiction, but there still remains perfectly healthy children who grow up to be perfectly healthy adults who bullied, got away with it and grew out of it.

Adults form pecking order, that's instinctual, some children don't grow out of it. Some adults like to bully.

The aspect I'm exploring here is the psyche of a villian who is otherwise normal or anti-villian or anti-hero where either you have to accept that there's no black and white good vs evil or that a villian from one perspective is a hero from another. You never get the full picture and even good deeds can look dastardly from the wrong perspective or from incomplete data.

Consider a kid being bullied for ages and finally stands up for themself, the then that moment a teacher sees the scuffle and expells the bullied one. Or a kid stands up for another and gets expelled thus leaving the victim alone to be further terrorized or worse.

I build strong characters through dire adversity, heros don't grow up with a happy childhood in my mind. They have altruistic drive based on a seething passion for justice. Angels don't weild flaming swords for nothing.

So my objective is a psychological horror that will attempt to break the reader through the eyes of a character and understand the plight of a villian as dastardly as Thanos and end up on his side unequivocally. Where without the complete picture, from nearly any angle, you would consider him a true villian picked straight out of a comic book and through that greater perspective, see the "heros" as the true evil that they are, anti-villians. Those who act heroic but perform evil through their actions.
 

pmmg

Myth Weaver
Here's another aspect of that, not all bullies ever were actually hurt, in that they have verifyable "good upbringing" no abuse, nothing out of the ordinary to speak of, they just liked to bully. They liked the power, they liked the sadistic nature of it, or they liked the control or other. So in these individuals, they're just not being discouraged enough not to do it. You could snowflake up the game and say they're not being nurtured enough for them or it's a disease or it's an addiction, but there still remains perfectly healthy children who grow up to be perfectly healthy adults who bullied, got away with it and grew out of it.

Adults form pecking order, that's instinctual, some children don't grow out of it. Some adults like to bully.

The aspect I'm exploring here is the psyche of a villian who is otherwise normal or anti-villian or anti-hero where either you have to accept that there's no black and white good vs evil or that a villian from one perspective is a hero from another. You never get the full picture and even good deeds can look dastardly from the wrong perspective or from incomplete data.

Consider a kid being bullied for ages and finally stands up for themself, the then that moment a teacher sees the scuffle and expells the bullied one. Or a kid stands up for another and gets expelled thus leaving the victim alone to be further terrorized or worse.

I build strong characters through dire adversity, heros don't grow up with a happy childhood in my mind. They have altruistic drive based on a seething passion for justice. Angels don't weild flaming swords for nothing.

So my objective is a psychological horror that will attempt to break the reader through the eyes of a character and understand the plight of a villian as dastardly as Thanos and end up on his side unequivocally. Where without the complete picture, from nearly any angle, you would consider him a true villian picked straight out of a comic book and through that greater perspective, see the "heros" as the true evil that they are, anti-villians. Those who act heroic but perform evil through their actions.

Is this the story with the unsatisfying end? How did you end it that did not feel satisfying?

'Hurt people Hurt' I would put in the category of partially true. It may be true for those in the story, but I can imagine other reasons. I would also say, all people hurt. And all people do things at times they are not proud of. I am not sure all people become bullies, and I am not sure all bullies are lifelong bullies and not just bullies of the moment, or a span of time. I am sure the topic is along the lines of a long-standing, chronic bully (of the school yard variety), but is it hurt that motivates them, or maybe its effectiveness? Are ship captains bullies because of upbringing, or because it makes the crew work?

Bullying is not a theme of my stories, but certainly thugs, brutes and bullies abound (and now that this thread popped up, I think I may up the bullying nature of one character, he's been too nice and he should be meaner). Generally, if one draws the attention of a bully, it becomes fatal for one or both of them. Since its not a theme, its not something I repeatedly play up.

I might ask, were Tolkien's orc's bullies, and is it because they all hurt? 'Where there's a whip, there's a way' seems like bullying to me. But they are depraved from their relation with the dark lord, not childhood pain. I think these are bullies by nature and not nurture.
 
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BearBear

Archmage
Is this the story with the unsatisfying end? How did you end it that did not feel satisfying?

No end is final, the story must go on.

Satisfied I've been, impressed I've been, proud I've been, but I want a story that leaves a scar, a Charonian would that leads to a miracle of stellar proportion. My contention is: this story could never be professionally told, such a tale would best be disseminated by a fervent cult following.

A tale that would be rammed down the collective consiousness by force of viral will unmolested. A pandemic of transformative literature without the possibility of a vaccine. Such an impact that would cause casualties, but forge heros. No editor, no publisher could touch it.

Such a tale could have no author, as one would be hounded by both sides, trapped by law and by zealots, sued, villified, lauded, worshipped, none of which is the point and the intent deserves neither as it's neither malicious nor altruistic. It's a desire for a spark that could ignite your inner flame, but only you can decide to fan the flames or extinguish it. It will merely force you to make that choice. To become the Phoenix or remain a sleeping wanderer. The world is full of kindling.

Something only the true anti-villian could write. The hero we need but never deserved. Even knowing by far I would be hated for doing this, for those who reap the reward I'm offering, love would be the only result, and no one could convince them otherwise.

"Ultimately I may never make a tree, but I can plant a seed." Says the Bear.
 

Mad Swede

Auror
Yes, but it isn't really called that in my books. Bullying is generally defined as the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing or threat, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate someone with the intention of hurting someone. It requires an imbalance of power and is supposed to happen repeatedly, which is what makes it different from conflict. The defintion is quite broad and can cover quite a lot of situations where someone uses bullying to further their own ends. Some of my protagonists do suffer from it, and some of the antagonists are bullies. And yes, some of the bullies do get their comeuppance, not because I dislike bullies (I hate them) but because the story required it for other reasons.
 

pmmg

Myth Weaver
No end is final, the story must go on.

Satisfied I've been, impressed I've been, proud I've been, but I want a story that leaves a scar, a Charonian would that leads to a miracle of stellar proportion. My contention is: this story could never be professionally told, such a tale would best be disseminated by a fervent cult following.

A tale that would be rammed down the collective consiousness by force of viral will unmolested. A pandemic of transformative literature without the possibility of a vaccine. Such an impact that would cause casualties, but forge heros. No editor, no publisher could touch it.

Such a tale could have no author, as one would be hounded by both sides, trapped by law and by zealots, sued, villified, lauded, worshipped, none of which is the point and the intent deserves neither as it's neither malicious nor altruistic. It's a desire for a spark that could ignite your inner flame, but only you can decide to fan the flames or extinguish it. It will merely force you to make that choice. To become the Phoenix or remain a sleeping wanderer. The world is full of kindling.

Something only the true anti-villian could write. The hero we need but never deserved. Even knowing by far I would be hated for doing this, for those who reap the reward I'm offering, love would be the only result, and no one could convince them otherwise.

"Ultimately I may never make a tree, but I can plant a seed." Says the Bear.

I am not sure what to do with that. But if you can write that, I'd be interested in your 'on writing' book.
 

BearBear

Archmage
I am not sure what to do with that. But if you can write that, I'd be interested in your 'on writing' book.

There's no telling if I can pull it off, only that I will try and if I do, as a cultured writer, you will hate it passionately. Thus my mission will be a success, I wish to bring out your passion by any means. But more importantly, if I am successful and you read it to its end, you won't be the same person who hated it, you may still hate it, but your perspective will have broadened and that is my ultimate goal.

Will it be trite? Will it be awkward? Will it be poorly written meant for ameture hour on a poorly trafficked blog in obscurity? Who can say? It's not my wish for fame or money, I detest the idea of fame and I have enough pairs of pants, it is my duty and obligation to try awaken the sleepers. Such a thing is needed and no one following the rules of professional publishing will ever be able to do that in my estimation.

There are three driving forces at work here:
1. Power corrupts, so money is power and fame is power.
2. Lawyers are as corrupt as they come as it is their incentive, same as any good capitalist.
3. If you think any amount of good intentions will save you, then you're walking into the lion's den naked with a broken wooden sword. The corruption is much older than you, much smarter than you and much more incideous then you could ever imagine.

No one can fix that and there's no need to even point it out. But what if I told you there is a power that is incorruptible? Not only that, it's enough to keep corruption at bay. That's the power this book is meant to unlock. There's an issue though, no one can give you the key, you must earn it.

The only way to be fireproof is to survive direct consumption by flame. In other words, this power is not given but forged through intense and deadly inner struggle. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but again, this is where the heros of tomorrow are forged and trust me when I say, forging it in the comfort of modern luxury is preferable to a battlefield.

It's like a switch, a flip that forces you to see yourself for who you really are, and no matter how beautiful and true you think you are, there is always a dark side, and no light can exist with a shadow. I want to show you your shadow and help you to know it, recognize it, understand it, and accept it. If you can do that, nothing can ever touch you, and you will truly be more powerful then you can currently imagine.

That's all.

So what's an "on writing" book? Something like a memoir of writing style? Forget that, as I have no idea how these words appear on the page, and apparently the 'author' ain't sharing his secrets with me. Or rather I do believe "I" know, but then "I don't care to share" either, not with the consious watcher, not yet anyway.
 

Pinkwizaard

Dreamer
One of my first writing projects was a short story about bullying. It was so well written apparently that my teacher at the time was very concerned and asked if everything is okay.

When I tackle bullying, I do not focus too much on the bully. Because as someone who experienced pretty severe bullying, you realize it is not one person. It is not only the bully who is participating in this, the teachers who do nothing, the kids who do nothing, your friends who do nothing. Bullying is a collective that involves everyone.

That is why I do not put a specific face on the "bully" and at best mention their name, but I always make sure to make it seem that there isn't just "one" bully. This seems to resonate the best with anyone who has experienced bullying since more often than not, the abandonment is the horrifying part of bullying. Feeling that you are completely alone in this and there's no help to get. This helpless situation where the only thing that could make it better is "whenever I change schools" and even that might not save you.
 

Miles Lacey

Archmage
I was both a bully and bullied at school so I can see both sides of the coin so to speak.

From what I've seen and experienced I find that bullies tend to fall into the following groups:

Most bullies tend to be opportunists, of which I was one. These people bully someone because others are doing it or because they know they can get away with it. This happens a lot on social media where people gang up on someone because of claims (usually false or misleadjng) made against them. Such bullies are boring so I don't waste time writing about them.

The second type of bully are social enforcers. They bully to enforce a pecking order within a group. It's not always a person with authority in the group but someone who believes they're acting with the authority of someone in charge. The most common places this type of bully is found is in a sports team, the work place and, surprisingly, a lot of voluntary organisations. These types of bullies often feature in my stories because their motives are often more complex thus more interesting than the cardboard cutout bullies found in most movies. I was bullied mostly by these types of people.

The third type are psychopaths. They're the most dangerous because they target specific people and will stalk, harass and terrorise them until the victim is dead or the bully is in jail. Normal means of dealing with bullies don't work with them. While they make for interesting characters I can't be bothered writing about psychopaths.
 

BearBear

Archmage
Oh wow, I didn't realize I was bullied for 4 years on my last job by a social enforcer. I just know I was absolutely mimiserable. Thanks I can totally replicate that.

I'm in a great place now where people work as free agents so there's no pecking order and it's almost exclusively merit based. Schmoozers who can't do the job effectively are not welcome, and those who fail up end up not finding anyone but the other schmoozers to support them.
 
I haven't set out to write bullying stories, but sometimes those situations have worked their way in. It's more of a subplot set against the larger plot, than a plot in and of itself.
 

Nighty_Knight

Troubadour
Never really wrote about one. Dealt with a few in the past. Most pissed off once I got tired of them annoying (that’s really all they were) and called them out. 2 of them it took a bit of violence sadly. Worked and I never heard them say a word to me after.
 

BearBear

Archmage
Interesting (tragic) coincidence

A friend of mine has an 8yr old and he's getting bullied at school and what she said is, she knows about it but socially she can't confront the parents of the bully. She's definitely pissed about it and even another 8 yr old told her that these two bullies are torturing her kid.

These are all 8-yr olds. Now her kid couldn't care less and he's standing up for himself anyway, and he's not even troubled by it but he is picking up that behavior. So I'd think just tell the parents, tell the school, but she refuses and I generally believe she cares and she's not intimidated so it's not that, but the social thing is nothing I'll ever understand.

Me: "Your kids are bullying my kid."

Expected result:

nice-to-meet-you-two-happy-young-men-shaking-hands-and-smiling-while-standing-on-the-roof.jpg


Actual consequences?:

94-Fied-of-Waterloo.jpg
 
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