Avoiding "I" in first person

[Trick]

My main WIP is a first person memoir-style novel. It even pushes on the fourth wall, if not breaks it, quite often. I've noticed recently my tendency to use 'I' to begin sentences has grown too much. So, I began trying to break it up by starting sentences with present participle phrases. This became monotonous. I also noticed that 'I' appears so much in the text it makes it look like I've got brackets everywhere.

Does anyone have tips and tricks for increasing sentence structure variety in a FP POV novel?

Thanks!

 

[Penpilot]

Sometimes you just can't avoid it, and sometimes it's only noticeable by you. A reader may not even notice.

As for how to maybe avoid the unnecessary 'I's, here are some things I do to cut down on unnecessary pronouns. They can apply to third person pronouns too.

Look for sense words like 'saw', 'felt', 'smelled' following the 'I'.
Instead of "I saw a dog run down the street." just say "A dog ran down the street."
Instead of "I felt a gun press against my back." just say "A gun press against my back."
Instead of "I smelled rotten eggs." just say "The room smelled of rotten eggs."

Basically, look for instances where the 'I' is implied. "I saw a dog run down the street." Well, this is first person, so who else would be seeing the dog run down the street?

Now, this isn't to say to never use these types of sentence constructions. Sometimes a sentence needs to be constructed this way for clarity. These are just potential spots to eliminate pronouns. IMHO, the reader generally won't notice the 'I's.

 

[Trick]

Look for sense words like 'saw', 'felt', 'smelled' following the 'I'.
Instead of "I saw a dog run down the street." just say "A dog ran down the street."
Instead of "I felt a gun press against my back." just say "A gun press against my back."
Instead of "I smelled rotten eggs." just say "The room smelled of rotten eggs."

Basically, look for instances where the 'I' is implied. "I saw a dog run down the street." Well, this is first person, so who else would be seeing the dog run down the street?

Yes! This will help. Just the reminder I needed.

Anything else is still appreciated. I haven't written anything else in first person since high school and even though I'm loving it for this WIP and have been working on it a while, I'm rusty on a lot of things.

 

[The Dark One]

Honestly, just relax and enjoy it. Immersing yourself in the story through a 1st person POV is fun.

 

[wordwalker]

We recently got into this in Suggestions for Pronoun Repitition. Agreed, a lot of it is alternating the character with sentences about the environment. Another trick is to use other things as an opening clause on what's still the MC's sentence. "The sun beat down hard, but I..."

 

[Philip Overby]

I'm writing in 1st person a lot now myself as I just prefer that way of writing. I thought about the multiple of "I"s but then I examined some other books with 1st person in them and I saw that they also have several sentences beginning in "I." After I thought about it, it didn't notice it that much until I started looking for it.

However, I do agree with Penpilot that a good way to avoid this is try to change sentences where "I" is implied. It's also good to not have long stretches (unless you like that sort of thign) where your character is just sitting by him or herself. That way if your character is talking to someone else, there maybe would be more variation in the pronouns. Something like this:

Jack put the empty tequila bottle on the table. "Did you drink all of this?"

I burped. "No."

He shook the bottle, the worm clinking at the bottom. "Well, who did it then?"

"A werewolf." The bottle still had a bit of tequila at the bottom. I licked my lips. Now all I needed was more salt.

 

[KC Trae Becker]

First person POV has crept into my stories also. I've found it useful in connecting with the character's sensory information.

I was thinking I'd have to go back and switch it all over to third person afterward and dreaded the huge quantity of work that would be. But now I have hope that at least some of the first person material can be salvaged. Thanks for the pointers.

KC

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

Honestly, just relax and enjoy it. Immersing yourself in the story through a 1st person POV is fun.

I have nothing to add, really. I love writing FPOV, present tense, and just voicing the thoughts in the character's head.

 

[Caged Maiden]

we just read Prince of Thorns for the reading group and I think the first person in that book was very well done. If you want more insight into how best to accomplish sensory descriptions... that's a great book to gain said insight.

 

[Noma Galway]

I used first person in a story I recently wrote, and the story was about a girl committing suicide. Needless to say, the first person was intensely personal and painful for me to be in, but I wrote it much smoother than I could have using third person. I used a lot of "I"s, but many of them had "as" or "while" before them. None of the people who read it commented that I was using the word "I" too much (but they commented on a lot of other things). I know I don't really notice it when someone is using "I" too much. I myself am prone to using it too much, but I don't mind reading it.

 

[Ankari]

we just read Prince of Thorns for the reading group and I think the first person in that book was very well done. If you want more insight into how best to accomplish sensory descriptions... that's a great book to gain said insight.

I second this. I'll also recommend Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel and Naamah series.

 

[Devor]

It's great to ask about and try to work on a little, but don't drive yourself crazy with it while you write. It's much easier to catch this type of thing in the editing process.