Character hints problem?

[teacup]

I don't know how clear this is without having read the chapter, and I'm unsure how well I've explained it, so bear with me
(Chapter 1 is here, for anyone interested in reading/critiquing, by the way, which would be greatly appreciated.)



I've had some critiques on chapter 1, and in some of those the critiquers (if that's even a word) had problems with a shift in the character, as they hadn't picked up on some things being hints to the character's personality and motivations, and thought of them only as what was happening. They were questioning like "why would he do this?" when the answer wasn't stated, being left instead as hints.

Basically, I haven't spelled everything about the character out, and the first the readers see of him is that he's depressed, drowning his sorrows with drinking (his wife died.) He looks down at himself, a drunken mess, and tries forcing himself out of it all. A "this isn't me" type thing. He hears about bandits kidnapping people, so he goes to hunt them. When he does he's a smartass and arrogant about it all.

Some critiquers didn't understand this shift in character, why he's gone from devastated to happily hunting and killing these people, and being having an arrogant personality now.

The reason for this is that he's a monster hunter/adventurer, who had spent a lot of life travelling and adventuring with his wife. After his initial realization of the "this isn't me" part, he tries to force himself back into his old life, trying to do what he enjoys. He just wants to forget it all and move on. He's arrogant because he's got a bit of an ego from never being defeated in battle (not large scale war type ones, more duels, if anything.) This also all adds to a twist with his character that happens later on.

I had thought that seeing him out and hunting like this, being the way he is at that point, would have made readers think something like "oh, how come he's like this, now?" so that they would read on to figure out what his character is all about. Instead, it seemed more like "that's not right." These critiquers simply thought I hadn't thought the character through well enough, it seemed.


So here's the question:
What would you do in a situation like this? Have his motivations and personality fully revealed over the course of a couple of chapters, or change it to have them spelled out more from the get go, or what?
Would you question the character's personality/motivations or the writing if you read this?




I don't want a reader picking up the book and putting the character's actions down as the writing not being thought through well enough, without going past chapter 1.

Thoughts, on this and this subject in general?

 

[Feo Takahari]

Yeah, there's no way I would get that after just one chapter of seeing the character. There simply isn't enough time to show the shift from the outside.

Is there any downside or inconvenience to showing the shift from the inside? Demonstrate the mechanisms by which the character creates his facade, and show that he's still sorrowful inside, and your readers may find him quite relatable.

 

[teacup]

Demonstrate the mechanisms by which the character creates his facade, and show that he's still sorrowful inside, and your readers may find him quite relatable.

I thought I had done, but I'll have to do more.

I suppose it's just because of my preference, I like subtle hints which make me wonder what they mean, things like that. Maybe I went overboard.
I'm starting to think that I might go too subtle at times, now...hmm. I'll have to check on that.

Thanks, Theo.


Anyone else had something like this?

 

[Penpilot]

In general, there is a possibility of being too subtle to the point of being vague. For myself, at the beginning and in general, I make sure motivations are stated clearly, either by context or by directly stating them. Now, there may be instances where this isn't the way to go, but in general it is. If it's not your intention to confuse the reader then make things clear. If things aren't put into context clearly then the reader has too many possible interpretations for hints. You only want the reader to be wondering about the things you intend them to wonder about.

For example.

A man punches the wall, while holding a picture. --> Must be angry but why? Who is this guy? Might be because of the picture, but don't know for sure.

A man punches the wall while holding a picture of a woman --> Must be angry and probably because of this woman. Who is this woman? What's she mean to him? Vague.

A man punches the wall while holding a picture of himself and a woman. The picture is of him wearing a tux and she's in a wedding dress. More clear. At this point basically the only question left is what happened to his wife? Depending on the story, this could be answered immediately or dragged out.

Stories always need a certain amount of concrete clarity to give the subtle stuff context, because without context, there's no meaning.

 

[wordwalker]

Even if you want to drop the character right into his coming to his senses in chapter one, you can do a lot with setting and other cues, like Penpilot is saying. Show him surrounded by a lifetime of honors and trophies, now knocked over as he reaches for the next drink. Show people at the tavern whispering "Didn't that used to be--" or the friends who can't bear to be around him any more. The trick is making his life before the binge real enough that when he looks back at it, the reader gets it, even though in the narrative all he's actually done on-page until now is drink.