Coal as the big bad guy? Really?

[Asinya]

Hi!

I am not sure if I am allowed to write this here, and I should possibly just do my research on Google - problem is I'm not extremely clever and quite often need stuff explained as simple as possible

I am currently writing a story which is...oh, it's nice - I love it - it started out as some kind of shiny fairytale and has turned all dark and emo over just a few days.

It's about giant humanoid mice, who live in a kingdom that uses...something...to power their factories. This Something causes massive pollution though; the air is all thick and dangerous to breathe, the water turns into a thick, smelly ooze, animals and vegetation alike get sick and die, people get lung diseases and...well...die.

This is, in many ways, the main "bad guy" though that wasn't my original plan - and I realise suddenly that I have no idea what "it" is.

I need this thing to be the cause of above mentioned bad stuff - but I also need it to be possible to use and then purify the byproducts and use them as (for - an necessary - example) fertilizer.

So, on to my potentially silly question (I have never written anything before, so I am sorry if I am wrong)

Would I need to invent a new fuel that would behave like this, and give it a unique name - or should I go with the more relatable, real-world name of "coal"?

I don't know if coal behaves the way I need it to, because I know basically nothing about coal.

This is very vague, and I'm sorry, but...any immediate reactions/feelings - or someone with expert knowledge of something (coal or otherwise) that behaves as I need it to behave?

Thanks for reading!

 

[CupofJoe]

Personally [and I know only a little more than you about Coal] I wouldn't use a real world name. Have a mined ore/mineral that causes your problems but call it something else.
There is Lignite [Brown coal] that might be closer to what you want as it is usually considered not a good coal... it is still a-ways off being as bad as you need but is does come with Leonardite [which I think is a wonderful, name for Fantasy... ].
Chemists around here will probably shout at me, but for a really thick claggy smog I think you need something which burns with a lot of sulphur...

 

[Asinya]

Thanks, I suspect you are right - something makes me want to use as many "real" names that people can recognize as possible, but if it turns out Wrong, then that is bad, too :/ Maybe better to all in and make up my own thing.

 

[Devor]

"Smelly ooze" and fertilizer doesn't sound like coal to me, but what do I know. I would say, Don't use a real world element without doing the research and embracing the limits that comes with real world elements. Limits can really fuel creativity.

At the same time, I wouldn't suggest you use a made-up element without taking advantage of the fact you're making it up, either. If this pollutant is your main villain, then I would give it some kind of unique property that might help shape the story. Maybe it's having transformative effects on the populace, or they're secretly using it to fuel something magical, or so on. There's a slew of directions you can take it that make your substance more substantial as a literary device.

What I don't recommend is fluffing it. Some mesh of incongruent elements that sound real-ish but aren't won't be anywhere near as compelling.

 

[teacup]

I could be wrong on parts of this, as I'm going only off of memory, but I think the villain of the movie "Fern Gully" was kinda pollution, but a manifestation of it or something? I can't remember.
Anyway, it could possibly helpful to watch that for inspiration.

I'm pretty sure the story is about fairies dealing with pollution and trees being cut down and stuff...so either way it could possibly be good to watch for inspiration? Don't hold me to this


I agree with Devor, though. If you're using real world stuff, you have to do the research. You can make up a fantasy pollutant thing though, and do with it mostly whatever you want.

 

[Asinya]

Thanks for the input - I'll just have to make up my own fuel/pollution/fertilizer thing - for some reason, improvising science things is harder for me than the rest - but challenges are good, too

Thanks again, everyone!