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Cool Character Quotes


We all write. We all write characters. Most of those characters probably say things. Sometimes they might say something (either through speech or first person narration) that makes you lean back in your chair and go "Damn, that's a pretty sweet quote, even if I do say so myself".

So what interesting, clever, or cool lines do your characters have?

Some of mine...

"One particular watch amongst hundreds. I suppose it’s not a terrible place to keep something hidden. Like hiding a needle in a sewing drawer." - Alek Stove (narration)

"It's not what it looks like." - Alek Stove
"I don't even know what this is meant to look like!" - Ilsa Essen, discovering Alek standing over a dead man in a pool of black liquid in a ransacked watchmaker's shop

"Someone should have killed you long ago, witch hunter. But no, some people have to play with their food, until they forget they're not the only one with a mouth." - Zebedy, taunting Alek

"Oh I’m real, and there is so much I can threaten you with. I’ve driven people mad in their sleep, made them scream every time I whisper in their ear, made them take their own lives out of simple terror. People live in their heads, and that’s where I kill them." - Mavetta, threatening Alek

"There's a reason they call me the witch hunter. I've killed twenty occultists." - Alek Stove
"You killed magicians, people scratching the surface of the Occult. I'll show you the depths." - Sigfarne Izemti, before attacking Alek

"I thought I had a winning smile, but he had enough charm in his to make even burnt steak go red." - Alek Stove (narration), upon meeting Lord Dandelion

"Is that all I'm known for? My parties? Good. No one trims the prettiest rose, no matter how sharp its thorns." - Lord Dandelion

And my personal favourite...

"Peep peep... peep peep." - Alek Stove, trying to call his cat

Noma Galway

My favorite is Briahna, when sent to a repentance chamber to rededicate herself to Ghaor, god of death.

"So, there's a knife, and there's and there's an altar. I wonder what I'm supposed to do here." --muttered under her breath while alone in the room.

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Here are some of my favorites...

Our vampire queen Katherine and her young son Mike -
"I am a Creature of the Night…!"
"You are a Creature of the Night Light."
Little Mike looked dismayed. "You said you wouldn't tell anyone about that."

"For the record, it's not women's rights that's amusing me. It's human rights that are still giving me the giggles."
~ the Demon Lord Caiaphas

"Oh, my gawd! I am SO drunk!"
~ The Demon Lord Graylyn doing his impression of a 'frat boy call'

"No one has it better than anyone else. Only different. You might think it would be better if you were prettier. I've known many therian rabbits in my life, and they are very pretty people. What I hear them say is, 'I wish I was stronger,' or 'I wish I was faster,' or 'I wish I could have stopped him.' You see? Being prettier isn't better. It's only different."
~ the wizard physician Winter Mulcahy

And one of my favorites so far....

Niki looked positively delighted, and Jo could feel it in his mind. Her eyes widened in exasperation. No. No. No. Niki, we have to go home.
As usual, he ignored her. "We are strangers, exploring - "
If you say "strange new worlds" I'm going to strangle you.
" - our options. We would love a native guide, if you are available."
Wolf is going to kill me.
Live a little.
She raised her hands in preparation to smack Niki's head, and then remembered their audience, so she ran them through her hair in frustration instead. "Fine, you win," she muttered. She looked at this Lucien and smiled. It was a crappy smile and she knew it. She didn't fake smile well. "Take us to your leader, I guess."
"Am I translating that?" Niki asked with a cheeky grin.
"Do it and I'm telling Wolf I dropped you in transit. I don't care."
Could not help but to scour my WIP for some worthy quotes that might be taken out of context:

1) ”I once heard a rumour flourish that scaled men had risen from the Western Seas, with eyes like fish and cocks like hooks. Now that is some tale. That was when pirates raided those coasts,” the mercenary knight said dryly.

2) ”I be Bargo the Dread, boy, and I be adressin' you as I damn well please! Now apologise to the kind lady servin' you or I swear, I'll slin' you a jaw-shakin' that'll leave your drunken father flushed by his weak slappin's!


Article Team
Enar, Rolf and Linnea having a conversation on the front porch of the burrow:
Linnea blushed. “Dad, stop it.” She hurried to sip her tea and hide her face behind the bowl.

“Taking after her mother she does. She'll run a quality burrow one of these days.”

“Dad!” Linnea slapped at her father's shoulder with her free hand.

“Hey!” Rolf tried to stifle another laugh. “Thou shalt not slappeth thine dear old father.”

“That only applies when mine dear old father doth not be a moron.” She turned to Enar with a smile. “So, Enar, you met Jolene, did you? Don't believe those rumors you hear, they're all lies.” She arched an eyebrow at him. “She's a nice girl really, isn't she?”

Enar is still a bit slow on picking up on when Rolf is joking:
“What caused that,” asked Enar. “It's perfectly round. I thought maybe someone had stepped on the roof and fallen through.”

“No. The youngsters like to hang out here and get drunk in secret. There's a weaver among them had a bit too much and set a fireball through the roof.”

“Isn't that dangerous?” Enar stared at Rolf with eyes wide.

“What? Drunk kids practicing lethal magic without supervision? Nah, it's fine. Don't you have that in the city?”

“No! Of course not. That's...”

Enar stopped talking as Rolf burst out laughing.

As I'm trying to think of cool quotes from my WiP I'm realizing how mundane a lot of my text is on its own. The above quotes are probably mildly amusing, at best, for someone who's not familiar with the characters. Putting them into a context and being familiar with the characters change so much.

I'm sure I've written something clever at some point though. :p


Thomas Williams sat at his desk wishing he had listened to his wife and retired last year. He could be sitting on a sunny beach drinking some cool, fruity concoction from a frosted glass with a tawdry paper umbrella sticking out of it while diligent attendants saw to his every need. Even a threadbare tent in a frozen wasteland in the middle of a full-scale blizzard would be preferable to facing his next appointment. The intercom buzzed. "Sir, your two o'clock is here, shall I send him in?" his secretary’s usual cool professional voice sounded strained and uneasy.

Make that wet and naked and forget the tent.


Myth Weaver
"I am the reason humans fear the dark." ~Cadell of Tenth Realm, after being asked what he is by the villain, who has never seen a Fae before.

Only one I can think of right now... I'll add more when I remember or come up with them. ^^

Legendary Sidekick

The HAM'ster
"I see him—a man—falling and hitting every branch like the McMuffin boys from the Ugly Tree." ~Addison Lane

I'm pretty happy with Uncle Jesse's line at the end of my Write About Pirates story. If you're too young to know who the Dukes of Hazard are, that ending will make no sense as opposed to little sense.