Describing arms and armor:

here's my take on it. It depends on POV. If you're writing a soldier character, he will think about his equipment in reference to how well protected he feels, how proud he is of it, etc. He may think something like: "Cedrick patted his tatty gambeson, dislodging the road dust outside before entering the barracks."

He would use the right term because he knows what the garment is and it wouldn't make sense to have him describe it in explanatory terms.

Similarly, a person unfamiliar with terms would refer to it differently. "A massive shadow on the ground drew Aylteth's attention. A unicorn? She looked up, startled. No, not a unicorn, but a black war horse. It stood taller than her head, at the shoulder, and wore a gleaming metal face mask that sported a horn, transforming the knight's steed into a likeness of a mythical creature."

She wouldn't know what the particular piece of armor is called, so it would not make sense for her to call it a chanfron unless she was familiar with horse barding enough to properly name it. But she could still describe it.

Characters must interpret what they see. It leads to deeper understanding of the character, what terms they use. It tells the reader who the person is and how they view things, and what they know and don't know.


I do the same thing with clothing, food, buildings, everything. I let the character be the filter for whether description or terminology is the way to go on every individual decision.

Now, in the case of my swordsman, I made both decisions. In one scene, he "handed over his ticket to the doorman, to reclaim his weapon." In another, he, "welcomed the opportunity to test his new mortuary hilt rapier against an opponent." He also, "Brought his blade level, sliding his guard against his opponent's buckler."

Perspective is the single most important consideration to me, as a writer. Does the character know the object intimately? Does he use the term to describe the object, indicating he's experienced and the terminology is how he thinks of the item? Is it something new he's never seen before? How does he feel about the thing he's viewing?

This is one of the ways I think writers show how good they are at spinning their tales. It can show so much more than just the object. It tells volumes about the character whose head we're in.

When I'm talking to people about sewing, I imagine most people know what a needle and thread are, a seam ripper is, what I'm meant to be doing with a chalk pencil, etc. When I speak about the more obscure items, I tend to describe them for the benefit of people who aren't as familiar with the sewing novelties I'm using. Same thing with weapons, clothing, etc.

If I have a male character see a woman at a party in a dress, I might describe it as, "She wore a gown of pink satin, cut low to frame her bosom in delicate ruffles." If a woman viewed the same thing, I might say, "She wore a gown made of silk satin, the same alluring shade of pink as spring carnations. French lace adorned the neckline of her chemise, and judging by the delicate hand wrought trim, the woman's underwear cost more than my whole gown."

You can use descriptions to show a POV character is jealous, dismissive, judgmental, in awe, etc. I think that is the most fun thing to play with as I use either terms or descriptions to describe things my characters see. Same thing when a character mentions their own stuff.

Best wishes.

 

Hm, that's true. I find the hardest thing is in deciding whether I should use a historical word, or use a modern word that describes an item that was once in use, but probably had a different name. I struggle with that regularly.

Okay, so if you have an item to describe, but it had no historical name, or one no one would recognize, what do you do then? Ooh, that's a great question, because I'm a history buff and I totally know how much this can grate. Well, I forego a lot of "historical" language, for the sake of clarity. But I try to get as close as I can, while admitting to myself that if I genuinely wrote in a period style, my stories would be dull, confusing, and horrible. Not deep and colorful and interesting. I need to remember that first and foremost, I'm writing fictional stories meant to connect with modern readers, and most people aren't impressed if a history buff indulges in their own interests so far they alienate the audience.

I think each case needs to be sort of its own thing. In my fantasy, I tend to use modern concepts and terminology, but retain a few really historical-feeling elements. I try not to belabor dialogue by forcing it into a historical mold, but I do try to utilize words whose origins are 1700 or earlier. I also try to be rather vague in most of my descriptions, calling it a "gown" or a "coach" without going into too much detail about what exact time period the gown or coach might be from. All that's important, usually, is that she's not wearing a plain dress, but a satin gown, and they just got into a coach, not a wagon, not a sleigh.

Basically, I have to decide whether (and I'll use the mortuary hilt as a fine example) the description I used is accurate enough to tell a modern reader what it is (either off the top of their head, or with a little google search). Well, in that case, not many people probably already know what a mortuary hilt is, but the thing I'm describing is a very specific kind of sword, so I want them to know what it looks like. I think it's important to know what kind of swordsman gets rid of his old swept hilt and commissions a mortuary hilt. It's indicative of his personal change during the story. So...then I have to admit I chose that description because the sword he uses is part of his personality. Which I think we all do in a way. Sure, I call it "my sewing machine", but I'm acutely aware that it's a mid 80s New Home. I cannot ever mistake it for an early century Singer or a brand new Brother. Those things are not all equal, and they each have a different purpose, and the thing I have is what I need. I think SO MUCH, that how we allow characters to describe things is the true gold in the pan that is the story. If you can put in a lot of crisp, sharp descriptions that taunt and tempt your reader and make them guess things and see things with an emotional slant, your pan is shimmering with gold flecks. If you use belabored, overwrought descriptions and brief, generic ones, you're panning sand, son. Same if you can't decide what to describe. Readers quickly feel pulled this way and that when we over-describe things that shouldn't even be mentioned.

I have some personal rules on the subject, but I've never really jotted them down. I wonder whether we could do a thread on descriptions. That might be a really good one!

I love this topic. I think about word choice a ton. Probably more than is warranted... or healthy