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Feedback on main races?


New Member
1. Jalkans are foot-high creatures similar to imps. They are common as slaves amongst other races, but the protagonist, a Conspict, adopts her Jalkan as a companion. They are mischievous and intelligent, but can be controlled by higher races’ magic. Wild Jalkans are rare and hate other races. They wreak havoc in a family, destroying objects and casting simple spells on children. However, these spells use Fire magic (the natural magic ability of a Jalkan) so can only be reversed by another Jalkan. Note that, in Aeran, if you are under the influence of another being’s magic you cannot use your own magic. For this reason wild Jalkans are universally detested by other races. If a wild Jalkan is caught, it is generally killed. ‘Common’ Jalkans, ie ones under a spell, are usually kept in groups. Jalkans are bought and sold in markets. Jalkans are not immortal, but live for so long that it wouldn’t make much difference.
2. Conspicts are a peaceful, elfish people with large eyes. Taller than most humans and generally very thin, they once ruled the country of Aeran but are currently at war with the Canere. They all have some unnatural vision, such as mind reading, fortune telling, and lie detection, which is due to their exclusive Air magic. They are physically weaker than humans, but can be incredibly strong magically.
3. Caneres are advanced human/elf creatures with remarkable hearing. They tend to be aggressive and single minded (one particular Canere is not, but the vast majority are). They have remarkable strength and could kill any other race with their bare hands; thanks to their tendency to seek revenge, however, they prefer to torture prisoners of war. They are in the process of learning Earth magic.

Feedback appreciated. Note that each type of magic is currently only able to be learnt by a specific race. (The villain is trying to master all of them.)

There are other fantasy creatures, but they are either minor characters or animals.


The only thing I have to say is that although you have two elven races, you have no distinctly human races. This may alienate some readers or make it harder for them to connect with your characters.


I, on the other hand, completely disagree with Centerfield97, sorry Centerfield97, but:

I disagree because I believe that human or human like creatures in stories sort of takes away the fantasy of it, it makes it seem like:

1) humans are so great that they should be everywhere

2) every planet in the universe should be able to sustain humans (which is obviously untrue from simply looking at our local planets)

so, I think it's a great job making a fantasy without humans, it makes it more real in a way :)