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First Lines

Looking through several books on my shelves, including non-fantasy novels, not many of the first lines struck me as capturing. I'm in the camp that first lines should do several things: identify the main character, possibly introduce part of the conflict, and maybe set up some type of theme or symbolism. What are some of your favorite lines and do you think they serve a bigger purpose in your novel than the rest of it?

Also, relating to my first lines, I want to say something along the lines of "He could see a million miles..." But miles doesn't work in the fantasy setting. What else could I use there?
 
What can he see as far as? Is there anything on the horizon that might strike him? (For instance, "He could see the city burning in the distance.")

I'm a little confused, but I think this is supposed to be a topic about our own first lines. If so:

Sometimes, I begin with a line that directly sets the stage. This is how a lot of stories from the 19th century begin, and it's handy if you want to write a story that has some of that feel. Ex: In three ways, it struck Mauricio just how close his wife was to her twin brother.

Sometimes, I try to intrigue. I state part of what's happening, and invite reader speculation on the rest. Ex: For the first time in three years, Harry woke to the feeling of a body beside him.

Sometimes, I get a head start on characterization. This works best with two characters, showing how they interact with each other. Ex: Ellen had expected Dan to crack three days after they moved in together. She was disappointed that it took six.

Sometimes, I go full Spider Robinson, and just start with something outrageous. Ex: To start with, the only reason I met Katie was that my mother caught me looking at lesbian porn.

One common thread you'll notice is that I'm big on starting with characters. I think they tend to be more interesting than the world around them.
 

Svrtnsse

Staff
Article Team
There was another thread on first lines recently.
The general consensus seemed to be that people (here) wouldn't put down a book they'd bougth after the first sentence if it didn't appeal to them. However, if the first sentence didn't appeal to them, they probably wouldn't buy the book in the first place.

Personally, I can't remember the first sentence of any book that comes to mind. I can remember what the first page/paragraph is about for some of them, but not word for word.

For the moment my thinking is that it's more about first impressions. The first sentence and paragraph is the reader's first impression of the book and it needs to be a good one. It doesn't necessarily have to be a hook, but it has appeal to them in a good way, make them feel good or interested or happy or something.

Saying the first sentence needs to be a hook is potentially a bit misleading. It indicates you'll need to start with a bang and hit the ground running. For certain kinds of stories, that's definitely the case, but I don't think it necessarily applies to all.
Sometimes it's better to guide the reader gently into the story. The trick is knowing what's best for your story.


As for your other question:
He could see for eternity.
He could see further than the day was long, further than sky and the stars, further than time itself. (okay, that's a bit purple, but...)
 

buyjupiter

Maester
Snow Crash's first line/paragraph springs to mind as something that draws you in and makes you ask all kind of questions about what's going on.
 
Hi,

My view is that first lines aren't that critical. The first paragraph or page is more so. After all your reader has presumably already seen the cover and been intrigued enough to then read the blurb. One sentence will not start or stop him reading at least a little further on.

Having said that a really good first line can draw you in deeper as a reader. Take "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." Already these two lines have you wondering and asking questions. And you want your readers to ask questions because they can then find the answers further on in the book.

I tried one in one of my experimental sci fi's. "The man who wasn’t Anders Voss arrived in the world and screamed." It didn't really help sell the book as far as I can tell, but I still liked the line as it leaves you wondering just what the hell is going on - which was what I wanted it to do.

Cheers, Greg.
 

skip.knox

toujours gai, archie
Moderator
IMO, miles works just fine in a fantasy setting. What didn't work for me was the line itself as an opener. Since I don't know who he is, nor where he is, the statement that he could see very far doesn't tell me anything, so it doesn't draw me in. Feo's suggestion about the burning city works very well, because it makes me wonder why the city is on fire and it establishes a bit of implicit relationship between the character and that city (otherwise, why would he be looking at it). But at that point, *what* he's looking at is more significant than the fact that it's far away.

Why is it so crushingly important for us to know the character can see far? Can he see farther than others? Or can he see far because he stands atop the world's tallest spire? Or are you simply trying to say the countryside was empty?
 
No, that was simply part of the opening line. Not the entire line whatsoever. The entire line encompasses that sometimes you can see for miles and miles but not get very far, both literally and metaphorically. Of course the main character's name would start the opening line.
 
No, that was simply part of the opening line. Not the entire line whatsoever. The entire line encompasses that sometimes you can see for miles and miles but not get very far, both literally and metaphorically. Of course the main character's name would start the opening line.

I think we'll need to see the full line to evaluate it, and probably the full paragraph.
 

ndmellen

Minstrel
You can say miles if you want to say miles. It's your book. What rule is there that stipulates that you can't say miles?
 

SeverinR

Vala
My first lines are never great at the start.
But without the first step, the journey will never begin.
Charge forward with the novel and the first line will find itself in editing.
 

Quillstine

Troubadour
I really can not remember any first lines of any books I have read or written.
For me, when I pick up a new book, I am still usually bemoaning the ending of the last one. It's just so hard to let go of a world and people you have come to love so much. As such, I don't tend to really remember the first chapter or two of a new book. It takes time for the last one I read to fade and me to get intrigued into wanting to know what happens in the new one.
So I would go with not important at all!
 

Scribble

Archmage
Perhaps it is better to write the first sentence last. Once you get to the end of the book, you might have a better idea of how to start it off.
 

Bruce McKnight

Troubadour
I'm with you, I don't like using familiar measurement terms (miles, feet, pounds) in fantasy stories, either. I try to avoid it, but situations like that are tough.

Maybe something more relative:
He could see all the way to the Bullhorn Mountains
He could see past the Red River, beyond the Pine King Forest, and then some
He could see more of the world than he ever knew existed
He could see farther than an oxcart could carry him in a fortnight


Good luck!
 
Hi,

Like I suppose most readers of fantasy I'm accustomed to seeing leagues used instead of miles. But they're both part of the same measurement system. A league is three miles.

Cheers, Greg.
 

Lycan999

Minstrel
I really can not remember any first lines of any books I have read or written.
For me, when I pick up a new book, I am still usually bemoaning the ending of the last one. It's just so hard to let go of a world and people you have come to love so much. As such, I don't tend to really remember the first chapter or two of a new book. It takes time for the last one I read to fade and me to get intrigued into wanting to know what happens in the new one.
So I would go with not important at all!

I agree completely, especially about coming to love the characters and places in a book. And people wonder why I'll read a book a dozen times.
 
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