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Flexing Your Metaphors - The Rant

Rob

Dreamer
During long hours of more than often monotonous writing, we often find ourselves flexing our metaphorical skills. We push them into any facet amongst the tangles of words that we can find. Don't. When writing a story, I find that the best reads come from the ones who do not try so hard to describe every tear, every gem stone, every blade of grass in some new and tricky way.

"The blades of grass in the King's Court were kempt and tamed, like millions of obedient soldiers under the heel of the house above."
Adrian pressed on until he stopped before a tree.
"The tree was as black as the darkest abyss. Its trunk was twisted and gnarled like the skin of a deformed elder. Its branches shot out like furious electricity amongst a crazed storm.

Pick one metaphor and let it ride for a while. Don't drown every single clever play on words with a new one like you are trying to compete with yourself.

I find that when people push these metaphors out too much, it just destroys the joy of reading the story. However, writing can also be lacking an amount of metaphorical descriptions. To me, a lack of metaphors is amateurish, where too many metaphors is just overkill and amateurish. As a reader, we get it! You can write!

It's not the metaphors that capture my interest in a story, it's the story that captures my interest in the story!

End Rant!
 
To be honest the examples you gave are way more colourful than I would use, I would like to think my metaphors are a bit more subtle. I agree though, it is about striking a balance.
 
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Jess A

Archmage
I'm with you both - it's about striking a balance. If it's overdone it looks like it's supposed to be facetious.

It's also about how they are used and whether they work with the plot, the mood, character etc.
 
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Rob

Dreamer
Yes, me too Aidan, but too often do I see people pumping out 'colourful' ones such as these over and over and over again. I don't know why, but it is something that just makes me stop reading the story lol.
 

saellys

Inkling
Good rant. Metaphors are supposed to be the strongest imagery at a writer's disposal, so overusing them is inadvisable. It wears out the reader and makes it so nothing you write has any particular impact.

I try to emulate Haruki Murakami. His novels often contain pages upon pages of straight narrative ("I took the train back home, put on a jazz album, cooked spaghetti, and drank some whiskey"), but then he'll toss in a truly beautiful and poetic description when you least expect it. It's just one bite, but the taste of it lingers long after and makes the whole thing sweeter, if you'll pardon my cack-handed metaphor. ;)
 

tlbodine

Troubadour
The worst is when the metaphor doesn't actually fit with the narrative. Like, the first example above works if the king in question similarly commands so much obedience. If the king is a jolly fellow with no real sense of power and gravitas, the metaphor falls completely flat.

Sometimes I have to go back through and clean up my metaphors and similes. Often, the first image that comes into your head really isn't the one that works to deliver any sort of additional meaning or symbolism, and sometimes it detracts horribly from it.
 
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