Having a hard time describing actions/motions

[Androxine Vortex]

When I say actions, I don't mean fighting. I'm talking about someone casually walking, or rising to their feet, or sitting down at a table. I'm having trouble describing actions in scenes where the action being performed isn't in a tense situation. Someone casually sitting down at a table, about to eat and talk. Things like this. I think if I just say, "They sat down at the wooden table." or "He rose to his feet and walked away." I'm really trying to avoid using adverbs and I have to admit it's quite the challenge.

 

[Twook00]

I do this too. I usually just pick up a few books I love and see how other authors handle it. Do they simply state the action and move on? Do they omit it entirely? Do they add something more creative or have the character perform a more interesting action? Do they imply the action without actually writing it?

EDIT (Adding more questions): Does the author combine the action with something else to make it more meaningful? Does the author have the character perform the action in such a way that it tells something about him (i.e., John moped into the room, feet shuffling on the tile floor. He reached his chair and sighed before slumping into it.")

Doing this usually helps me get over whatever it is that's making it feel wrong for me.

 

[BWFoster78]

I've found it best to eliminate this kind of action unless it's necessary for some reason or if I'm using it as a beat.

Remember, a story is life with the boring parts removed. Standing and walking across a room is pretty boring stuff.

 

[Twook00]

I've found it best to eliminate this kind of action unless it's necessary for some reason or if I'm using it as a beat.

Remember, a story is life with the boring parts removed. Standing and walking across a room is pretty boring stuff.

I agree with you on this. These motions/actions are often unnecessary unless being used as a visual aspect of the story or for adding beats to the narrative for better pacing (and probably other reasons I can't think of right now).

I checked Name of the Wind for example. Things like "Kote came to the top of the stairs and opened the door" or "Bast closed the door and returned to sit in the second chair" are important in their context. I think the key in this case is to keep it short and sweet.

 

[skip.knox]

I third that. No need to describe it if it doesn't move the story forward. Maybe that's why you're having trouble. If the only reason to describe the action is to keep other action clear, then keep the description brief. And if an adverb tries to slip slyly in a side door, kill the b*st*rd.

 

[Ireth]

And if an adverb tries to slip slyly in a side door ...

I see what you did there. XD

On-topic: Not sure there's much I can add. Everyone else has said it better than I could.

 

[Androxine Vortex]

Well sometimes it is necessary to make these things noted. I've tried using a thesaurus but most of the time with no luck. I try to think of what action the person is performing. Then I ask myself what is the characters current emotion and how would it influence their action. But Even still I'm having trouble especially when the character is performing an action casually like glancing, approaching, rising to their feet etc. those darn adverbs just look so tempting sometimes...

 

[Steerpike]

You don't have to have a zero tolerance policy for adverbs, but when you incorporate one it is certainly worth looking at whether there is a more effective way to write it.

 

[wordwalker]

Verbs.

One way to push adverbs back into their place is to get comfortable with how many verbs could do the job better. Don't think "he ran--well, and it was a really fast run" and then use both Run and Fast, just say Dashed, Charged, Scrambled, or whichever has a better tone. It's even worth copying out the most useful parts of a thesaurus and drilling yourself on the options.

Of course that doesn't settle when to include a motion and when to leave it out, but the more the right verbs are at your fingertips the easier it is to jazz up the moments that deserve it, convey minor beats with a quick but proper word, and leave other things for basic words or to be skipped altogether.

 

[Jamber]

You can use the most ordinary of actions like sitting down or opening a door to underscore mood. In my view a good way to describe ordinary actions that contain some powerful emotion is via the objects or people they affect (not 'He banged his fist on the table', for instance, but 'Dinnerware jumped'). Changing the focus in this way can keep the writing lively no matter what the situation.
Hope this helps,
Jennie