How much is too much?

[Rikilamaro]

Here's the question. My series is a YA fantasy involving shape-shifters. i have explained their shifting ability as a genetic difference between them and humans. I went into an entire explanation of the genetics behind it, referencing the Human Genome Project, and lots of research mumbo-jumbo. So one main character is explaining to the other. The problem I am having is making it less like a lecture and more like a conversation. Do you really think YA's care about the specifics, or should should I (for lack of a better phrase) dumb it down? It's not information that they couldn't learn in school, but it's definitely detailed.

Opinions?

Thanks in advance for your reply.

Rik

 

[Androxine Vortex]

Here's the question. My series is a YA fantasy involving shape-shifters. i have explained their shifting ability as a genetic difference between them and humans. I went into an entire explanation of the genetics behind it, referencing the Human Genome Project, and lots of research mumbo-jumbo. So one main character is explaining to the other. The problem I am having is making it less like a lecture and more like a conversation. Do you really think YA's care about the specifics, or should should I (for lack of a better phrase) dumb it down? It's not information that they couldn't learn in school, but it's definitely detailed.

Opinions?

Thanks in advance for your reply.

Rik

I think you need a little bit of both. Make it very informative but don't go on and on and on. I think that if you don't go into any real detail at all, then that would just be kind of lazy. I really liked the idea that you did research into the Genome Project and stuff like that and I really think if you explain it then it will seem more probable and understandable to the readers.

Maybe don't throw in ALL the more scientific words, maybe use other terms or words that are more common and understandable. It would be like a really smart scientist trying to explain something very complicated to a bunch of kids, so he can't expect them to know all these terms and things he knows. So yes I suggest you "dumb it down" but as long as you make it entertaining to read, then it should be fine. Good luck!

Edit : Maybe have the other character stop the MC and say something like, "X? What does X mean?" or "What do you mean by X?" These small interruptive breaks will make it seem more like a conversation rather than he/she just rambling on and on

 

[Barsook]

That would be too much for YA. Maybe just have one or two sentences (to five) explaining what it is with the science. A good example is how Dr. B, in the book ,Slayers by C. J. Hill, explained how the Slayer DNA is changed when there is a dragon around.

EDIT: Or do what Androxine Vortex said in his Edit.

 

[Queshire]

Well... I don't really think that just a difference in genetics could actually lead to shape shifting, so I say the vague-er the better. Just so long as it's internally consistent it could run on magic pixie dust for all it matters.

 

[Hominid]

I agree with Androxine Vortex's edit. Just because it's for YA audiences doesn't mean it should be "dumbed down."

 

[Anders Ämting]

Here's the question. My series is a YA fantasy involving shape-shifters. i have explained their shifting ability as a genetic difference between them and humans. I went into an entire explanation of the genetics behind it, referencing the Human Genome Project, and lots of research mumbo-jumbo. So one main character is explaining to the other. The problem I am having is making it less like a lecture and more like a conversation. Do you really think YA's care about the specifics, or should should I (for lack of a better phrase) dumb it down? It's not information that they couldn't learn in school, but it's definitely detailed.

I don't think the level of detail you go into actually matters, the important thing is that you work it into the story in a way that seems natural. You don't want to make it obvious to the readers you are infodumping them. Don't just have someone go: "As you know, our shapeshifting power are the result of..."

Unless this is something your readers absolutely have to understand, you pretty much only need to explain it when one of your characters require it explained, at which point you can explain it with as much detail as that character can comprehend or would expect.

Actually, you can always have the characters request the lesson be dumbed down. Sorta like:

Character A: So, what are we dealing with?

Character C: Well, the Human Genome Project blablabla mapping genetic variances blablabla the human DNA blabla..

Character A: Hey, hey. English please, and keep it snappy.

Character C: Um, we're dealing with people who can shapeshift.

Character A: See? That's all I needed to know.

 

[Devor]

So one main character is explaining to the other. The problem I am having is making it less like a lecture and more like a conversation. Do you really think YA's care about the specifics, or should should I (for lack of a better phrase) dumb it down? It's not information that they couldn't learn in school, but it's definitely detailed.

Whether it's Young Adults or not, you should have a compelling way of presenting the information. If your explanation makes compelling sense in it's own accord, you should include it. If the explanation looks like a load of hogwash, you should brush by it. But Young Adult readers don't like to be babied. If your readers are over the age of 13, you should include the material that your story demands.

As for presenting the information, one good strategy is to find a keyword that can sort of "bottle" that explanation in your reader's minds. When I was younger, a show called Batman Beyond did something extremely close to what you're talking about, where people would go into a lab and have their genes altered to give them tails or claws or some other random thing, which they talked about in ways similar to a tattoo. They called it gene splicing, and that's how they referred to it regularly throughout the series.

 

[Rikilamaro]

I think you need a little bit of both. Make it very informative but don't go on and on and on. I think that if you don't go into any real detail at all, then that would just be kind of lazy. I really liked the idea that you did research into the Genome Project and stuff like that and I really think if you explain it then it will seem more probable and understandable to the readers.

Maybe don't throw in ALL the more scientific words, maybe use other terms or words that are more common and understandable. It would be like a really smart scientist trying to explain something very complicated to a bunch of kids, so he can't expect them to know all these terms and things he knows. So yes I suggest you "dumb it down" but as long as you make it entertaining to read, then it should be fine. Good luck!

Edit : Maybe have the other character stop the MC and say something like, "X? What does X mean?" or "What do you mean by X?" These small interruptive breaks will make it seem more like a conversation rather than he/she just rambling on and on

Thank you for the advice. Incidentally the research was for a class and it happened that I was writing this portion of the story at that time. It all made sense to me then, but as I look back at it in editing I wonder if it's too advanced. I will definitely use your suggestion and use more layperson wording.

Also, the conversation is a bit one sided, so perhaps I will also add queries that will speed the process along and help chop up the information into manageable chunks.

Thanks again.

 

[Rikilamaro]

I don't think the level of detail you go into actually matters, the important thing is that you work it into the story in a way that seems natural. You don't want to make it obvious to the readers you are infodumping them. Don't just have someone go: "As you know, our shapeshifting power are the result of..."

Unless this is something your readers absolutely have to understand, you pretty much only need to explain it when one of your characters require it explained, at which point you can explain it with as much detail as that character can comprehend or would expect.

Actually, you can always have the characters request the lesson be dumbed down. Sorta like:

Character A: So, what are we dealing with?

Character C: Well, the Human Genome Project blablabla mapping genetic variances blablabla the human DNA blabla..

Character A: Hey, hey. English please, and keep it snappy.

Character C: Um, we're dealing with people who can shapeshift.

Character A: See? That's all I needed to know.

Awesome. I'll include the blah blahs as well.

 

[Rikilamaro]

Whether it's Young Adults or not, you should have a compelling way of presenting the information. If your explanation makes compelling sense in it's own accord, you should include it. If the explanation looks like a load of hogwash, you should brush by it. But Young Adult readers don't like to be babied. If your readers are over the age of 13, you should include the material that your story demands.

As for presenting the information, one good strategy is to find a keyword that can sort of "bottle" that explanation in your reader's minds. When I was younger, a show called Batman Beyond did something extremely close to what you're talking about, where people would go into a lab and have their genes altered to give them tails or claws or some other random thing, which they talked about in ways similar to a tattoo. They called it gene splicing, and that's how they referred to it regularly throughout the series.

Very cool. I don't want it to sound like a mutation, but that's really what it boils down to. So this is food for thought. Thanks!

 

[Rikilamaro]

I agree with Androxine Vortex's edit. Just because it's for YA audiences doesn't mean it should be "dumbed down."

I don't want my readers to perceive me as talking down to them, but I also don't want them to get to that point in the story and throw it down in disgust. Although, the mom side of me wants them to learn as they enjoy fiction. That's how I picked up a lot of my random knowledge. Thank you!

 

[Rikilamaro]

That would be too much for YA. Maybe just have one or two sentences (to five) explaining what it is with the science. A good example is how Dr. B, in the book ,Slayers by C. J. Hill, explained how the Slayer DNA is changed when there is a dragon around.

EDIT: Or do what Androxine Vortex said in his Edit.

Just requested said book from the library. I'll see if their explanation is in any way consistent with what I'm trying to accomplish. Thank you for the reference!

 

[Hominid]

I don't want my readers to perceive me as talking down to them, but I also don't want them to get to that point in the story and throw it down in disgust. Although, the mom side of me wants them to learn as they enjoy fiction. That's how I picked up a lot of my random knowledge. Thank you!

I would listen to the mom side of you, then. If you explain it in a way that makes sense, then the reader will learn about science, which is always good, and if you make it interesting/entertaining, then they'll keep reading your story.

Not that I'm an experienced writer; these are just personal opinions.

 

[Androxine Vortex]

Also keep in mind that the most in detail you get, the more difficult it will be to accuratley back up your work and make it sound probable. If you start describing things (in great detail) down to the atomic structure then you'll probably find yourself stumbling over words and it might make it easy for the audience to question the validity of your storu, even if it is made up. I'm probably making this sound more complicated than it should be lol

 

[Rikilamaro]

I would listen to the mom side of you, then. If you explain it in a way that makes sense, then the reader will learn about science, which is always good, and if you make it interesting/entertaining, then they'll keep reading your story.

Not that I'm an experienced writer; these are just personal opinions.

So now I'm looking for the humor in genetics. This should be interesting. And I welcome the opinions of others while maintaining the right to reject your reality and substitute my own.

 

[Rikilamaro]

Also keep in mind that the most in detail you get, the more difficult it will be to accuratley back up your work and make it sound probable. If you start describing things (in great detail) down to the atomic structure then you'll probably find yourself stumbling over words and it might make it easy for the audience to question the validity of your storu, even if it is made up. I'm probably making this sound more complicated than it should be lol

True, but i'm trying to be as scientifically correct as possible. So that if they do end up learning something from the genetics portion it doesn't hinder their learning of it in the real world and may actually help in the end. I understand your point though. It's all about leaving wiggle room.

 

[Barsook]

Not a problem.

 

[Androxine Vortex]

Well whatever you do, the best method is trial and error. Don't expect to go back and fix it in one go. Try making the "scene" and then go back and reread it. Whatever you don't like, change it.

 

[Rikilamaro]

Well whatever you do, the best method is trial and error. Don't expect to go back and fix it in one go. Try making the "scene" and then go back and reread it. Whatever you don't like, change it.

Reread it. Sigh. I should have this whole thing memorized by now.
Thankfully this is a minor plot point in the grand scheme of things.

 

[Queshire]

If nothing else, post it in the show case and we'll tell you whether we think it's too much or not.