How to Write an Enemy without revealing it?

[Typhon]

Iam having a hard time with two areas that relate to introducing an enemy, when and how do I reveal, but not reveal while introducing it or what it might be. How do I go about discussing it, without knowing who the enemy is? The enemy will be revealed, at segments, but will not be completely revealed until the end of the book?

Ive written out an enemy, so know who and what they are and how they would interact with the environment within the book itself, but the problem I have laid out above is my problem currently.

Thank you in advanced for the advice and I look forward to your solutions to my problem.

Cheers,

T

 

[The Dark One]

A technique that works well (for me) is to let the reader know who the enemy is without letting the MC know.

Really good for setting up exquisite angst in the reader who watches the MC walking into traps.

 

[wordwalker]

Revealing him to the reader is certainly one way. It makes its own kind of tension.

The more usual is to work with deliberate misdirection. That is, when he appears be sure there's a clear non-evil reason he's in the story-- better yet, a "shade of gray" reason that shows he's not purely good, but not an enemy at all, he's something else that has his own reasons for things so the reader accepts him for that... best of all, let the hero struggle to understand or persuade him and feel proud that he gets him partly on his side. And then it comes out that he's an enemy after all.

One tip: be careful of climaxing the story with this person alone with the hero and "glad to help, if you'll just follow me." That's an obvious suspense trick that so many people use, these days it amounts to telling the reader (and not the hero yet) who the villain is. (Of course, it could be a red herring and the real villain attacks then...)

 

[A. E. Lowan]

J. K. Rowling does an excellent job with the misdirect in Harry Potter and the Sorceror's (or Philosopher's) Stone. Indeed, she repeats it throughout the series, by setting up Snape as the obvious bad-guy, mostly through character interactions. Harry is so obsessed with the idea that Snape is up to SOMETHING, anything, that he tends to loose focus on the larger picture.

What perspective are you using? By limiting information to only a few sources, you can subtly use foreshadowing without dropping too much information on the reader. Remember, the point of using the technique you want to use is to have the reader smack themselves on the forehead and say "Of course!" not flip back and forth saying, "Where did that come from?"

 

[Penpilot]

Hard to give specifics without more detail, but as said above, show the reader is probably the simplest one. Another suggestion is you can introduce the enemy as stories and legends. They're like the boogyman, lots of stories about them, but nobody believes they're real. That way you can insert backstory for them.

A question though. Is there a reason you're hiding the enemy until the end of the book?

 

[Typhon]

Revealing him to the reader is certainly one way. It makes its own kind of tension.

The more usual is to work with deliberate misdirection. That is, when he appears be sure there's a clear non-evil reason he's in the story-- better yet, a "shade of gray" reason that shows he's not purely good, but not an enemy at all, he's something else that has his own reasons for things so the reader accepts him for that... best of all, let the hero struggle to understand or persuade him and feel proud that he gets him partly on his side. And then it comes out that he's an enemy after all.

One tip: be careful of climaxing the story with this person alone with the hero and "glad to help, if you'll just follow me." That's an obvious suspense trick that so many people use, these days it amounts to telling the reader (and not the hero yet) who the villain is. (Of course, it could be a red herring and the real villain attacks then...)

Ive looked at point of views like that indeed, iam trying to see how i can give clues, without losing the reader itself. It is indeed difficult in bring about that of the enemy or an emerging enemy without giving it away right of the bat. I don't want to climax the story prematurely as i expect to write a few novels in a series instead of being or stopping at the first.

 

[Typhon]

J. K. Rowling does an excellent job with the misdirect in Harry Potter and the Sorceror's (or Philosopher's) Stone. Indeed, she repeats it throughout the series, by setting up Snape as the obvious bad-guy, mostly through character interactions. Harry is so obsessed with the idea that Snape is up to SOMETHING, anything, that he tends to loose focus on the larger picture.

What perspective are you using? By limiting information to only a few sources, you can subtly use foreshadowing without dropping too much information on the reader. Remember, the point of using the technique you want to use is to have the reader smack themselves on the forehead and say "Of course!" not flip back and forth saying, "Where did that come from?"

Hmmmm, another interesting perspective and i see how she does indeed to do that but at the same-time it is hard for someone that has never done so, to make that translation on ones own in order for it to come across correctly. It seems like Snape was in fact more of a distraction from the overall picture of what was really going on, while Harry's focus was on him vs. the larger picture indeed.

My perspective is giving that of the read a climax into the enemy, without showing or understanding the purpose behind what and why they exist in the first place. But, how do you leave those hints as you have suggested in the reader hitting themselves, going "Of Course"?

 

[Typhon]

Hard to give specifics without more detail, but as said above, show the reader is probably the simplest one. Another suggestion is you can introduce the enemy as stories and legends. They're like the boogyman, lots of stories about them, but nobody believes they're real. That way you can insert backstory for them.

A question though. Is there a reason you're hiding the enemy until the end of the book?

Thank you for the reply, i cant in fact introduce the enemy as a legend in anyway, i could but it also take away from the overall story to assume they had always existed within the environment of the world vs. what the world the has become as a result of them showing up. I could see in using stories, but it would be difficult, unless we found a survive of sorts, that come back with some stories but it would also be presented in a very short span vs. what has occurred to the human population that would ultimately discover this unknown enemy in our world.

No reason for per se hiding the enemy, but i wanted it to be a journey per se for the reader to getting to that end, only to discover what was really behind the purpose of this new world that has been destroyed by and without human involvement. As a result, this enemy that is protecting its new home, is fight to protect it, but they also didn't realize that the humans were in fact the dominate species of this planet at one time. As a result of something that occurred, it forced the human population into something that was an result of ensuring that human species survives. But, that which they once known, no longer exist and will have to find their way in this new world, or forge a new one someplace else.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

Hmmmm, another interesting perspective and i see how she does indeed to do that but at the same-time it is hard for someone that has never done so, to make that translation on ones own in order for it to come across correctly. It seems like Snape was in fact more of a distraction from the overall picture of what was really going on, while Harry's focus was on him vs. the larger picture indeed.

Yes, Snape being a distraction is exactly the point of what Rowling is doing. He's what we call a "red herring," a false clue laid for the express purpose of misleading a reader's assumptions while we're adding subtle hints as to what is really happening in the back ground.

My perspective is giving that of the read a climax into the enemy, without showing or understanding the purpose behind what and why they exist in the first place. But, how do you leave those hints as you have suggested in the reader hitting themselves, going "Of Course"?

I think we may have a little miscommunication. I'm not asking for your persective (your intention), I'm asking from what viewpoint are you telling your story. First person, 3rd person limited, 3rd person omnicient, ect.? The placement of the "camera" in your story, as I like to think about it, has a great deal of an effect on how much, or how little, information the characters and by extention the readers receive. For example, with first person, the reader is inside the Point of View character's head at all times, limited to knowing only what they know and hearing only their thoughts on the matter at hand. You can subtly hint at what is happening through details that they may gloss over, or interactions with other characters that they may then misinterpret... and then hijinks ensue!

 

[TWErvin2]

One might use a sort of a stalking horse. Not knowing the specifics of the novel, the true enemy could put forth a more obvious antagonist until their full involvment is revealed at the end.