Is a 'throwaway joke' a silly reason to use a Phrase from a Song?

[Naruzeldamaster]

So, for a good bit of the story, the female lead is the dominant one. (to clarify, not like THAT, she does shmove on him a little but only jokingly) As a result the male lead grows aggravated over her behaviors. Despite slowly getting attracted to her the more they spend time with eachother. In one scene this tension comes to a head and he decides to make a move.

During the argument he unintentionally uses the phrase 'these boots were made for walking' to try to make a point. (This is also the title of the chapter)
The female lead is genuinely puzzled by his outburst. She then hears a particular song (give you one guess which) playing in someone's music player as they walk by, makes the connection on her own (It's never mentioned but she has heard the song on the radio) and then busts out laughing confusing the Male lead.

She explains (while in a laughing fit) that's not the point of that song, which makes the male lead confused even further. Then he connects the dots, blinks in confusion before laughing as well. This scene is mostly to establish that they are both equally dumb about specific things. The whole point of the scene is to erode the tension between them.

I will admit it's contrived but the thought made me chuckle a little. The actual lyrics aren't mentioned anywhere in the scene, other than that phrase. It's just meant to be a kind of serious scene with a silly outcome to the tension's boiling point.

 

[pmmg]

I think the song has enough recognition that it wont throw the audience, so…. It would be in the delivery.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

I think the song has enough recognition that it wont throw the audience, so…. It would be in the delivery.

Yeah I'm trying to avoid mentioning the song directly, only thing I can do is write the scene and see how it plays out.

 

[Finchbearer]

If this is what you want to write then go for it, however with the way you’ve explained it I think it does risk being a bit overly complicated / convoluted. Are you just using a line from that song because it fits with a scene you want to write, or are you trying to make the scene work by using the line from the song?

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

If this is what you want to write then go for it, however with the way you’ve explained it I think it does risk being a bit overly complicated / convoluted. Are you just using a line from that song because it fits with a scene you want to write, or are you trying to make the scene work by using the line from the song?

In my defense, it's a rom com, so of course some of it has to be convoluted as part of the tradition /s

Joking aside I had felt the scene was a bit convoluted hence asking if it was worth it.
The scene itself made me chuckle when I thought of it, so I'm considering including it. But I'm debating what it'd add to the story other than a cute moment between the leads to dissolve tension between them.

There's an alternate scene idea where they 'make up' and see eachother as equals. Where they literally burry the hatchet (The male lead is confused as to why they're doing this after making up, until he connects the dots) the scene itself is much shorter than the other one and it kind of shows how little Kitsunes know about modern human culture.

Both of them resolve the tension in a different way, I'm just not sure which one to use yet.

 

[Finchbearer]

Well…we haven’t actually read the scene itself, so can’t really judge on whether it actually works or not. If you feel it does work, and fits in with the rom-com theme then run with it and be confident.

I’m not so sure rom-coms are known to be convoluted. Perhaps there are unrealistic circumstances that force two people together, like in Pride and Prejudice, but that is necessary for a romance to happen.

 

[Naruzeldamaster]

Well…we haven’t actually read the scene itself, so can’t really judge on whether it actually works or not. If you feel it does work, and fits in with the rom-com theme then run with it and be confident.

Fair point, I may end up using both in the end (the hatchet burying scene is from them making up from their faux rivalry) but I got some writing to do before I get to either point.

I’m not so sure rom-coms are known to be convoluted. Perhaps there are unrealistic circumstances that force two people together, like in Pride and Prejudice, but that is necessary for a romance to happen.

I know they aren't all convoluted (except maybe the G rated ones like Tangled) but mine already has a bunch of unrealistic 'cosmic luck of fate, cause the protagonists are well, protagonists.' stuff but honestly that's kind of the joke. In fact both characters comment on this on their wedding day. (Before two mischievous Kitsune try to summon their master to the human realm, to which Meiji goes 'hell nah, not on my wedding day' and properly seals him away again. She also commits the greatest theft a Kitsune could ever commit, by 'stealing' some of the demon Kitsune's tails to buff herself up enough to seal him away, since he's a nine tail and she's a one tail.)

If it weren't a comedy at it's core I wouldn't have as many convenient connections.

 

[Prince of Spires]

A "a cute moment between the leads to dissolve tension between them" sounds like something a romcom could have. So at least it's not a useless scene as such.

I agree with pmmg that it's then probably in the delivery of the scene. Just write it and see what you think. If you still like it, then give it to a few readers and see what they think.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

It seems whenever I write a throwaway line, it always comes back to kick me in the butt with resonance and meaning. Last line that I just threw in,

Jessie made a rude noise and pushed away from the vehicle’s exquisite, black leather interior. Winter was only leaning against the open door, yet the scent coiled around her like a djinn, erotic and enticing in a curiously masculine fashion.

Now do we not only have surprise djinn, that line punched a place in our metaphysics and opened up to the possibility of not just "common" elementals like salamanders, we've got a whole new class of elemental, Greater Elementals, and as I'm typing this I'm wondering what an Elemental King would be like.

Let the games begin.

 

[Ban]

Well yes, but what use is a joke if it isn't silly? Just becomes a statement in its absence.

 

[A. E. Lowan]

Well yes, but what use is a joke if it isn't silly? Just becomes a statement in its absence.

Or, it can also become a statement by virtue of its absence, like a twist on an expectation, like a common saying or a pun. Personally, I love silly. I will be the first to tell you I am a very silly person. But I also see words as weapons. We use them to shape the world we want to see.

 

[Prince of Spires]

It seems whenever I write a throwaway line, it always comes back to kick me in the butt with resonance and meaning.

Forgot about this in my comment. But yes, very much this. In my experience, random lines that just seemed like a nice idea at the time tend to tell me a lot about my characters and steer my plot in unexpected directions. It's the little things that matter. Or perhaps the meaning hidden behind the little things.

But I also see words as weapons

Then you are a very dangerous woman.