It's not a typo, it's an artistic decision, honest

[R. R. Hunter]

While writing some dialog, I stumbled upon a neat opportunity to character develop. In these lines, know that the character Lord Vestrim Underton is pretty much comic relief and the setting is in Marcuso's mansion where he lives alone with his young apprentice Vikor.

Without further adieu,



Marcuso shifted uncomfortably then spoke, “Lord-,” he restarted, “Vestrim, I do thank you for coming to my home. It upsets me to treat you in such an unkempt manner as this. I hope that you've considered purchasing some of my inventory.”

Vikor brought in the wine, and served each a glass starting with Vestrim. Lord Underton picked up the conversation. “Unkempt manor. Lad, this place is spotless and there’s not a maid for miles."

 

[R. R. Hunter]

Ok, I tried it again and I don't know if this really works. It kind of feels too Fourth Wall. Anyone have input on this?

Setup: Roudin is very upset. Berik knows him well enough to wait.
What in the 7th Gate = What the Hell
Fated = used here as a slur = Godamn






Berik waited for a question. No question meant Roudin was working the problem and it would not serve to break his reasoning process.

“The guild will not lease more mechani until we’ve met-“ he picked up one of the pages and found the line, ”Sufficient quantities of qualified operators to minimize deficient caus- causa-,” he held the sheet closer to his face, “Causatum.”

He slammed the page down and finally looked his cousin in the face, “What in the 7th Gate is a Fated causatum?”

A question. Berik’s smirk was concealed in his thoughts, Causatum is not a question, he continued aloud, “It’s like an outcome.”

 

[R. R. Hunter]

Maybe if I the put >A question.< in italics? Complete sentences be damned!

 

[pmmg]

Redo:

I think A question, should be in italics if it is meant to be his internal thoughts. Its one way to handle it.